


A Prison Roleplay

by Anonyma, KitKatPurrpurr



Category: Fandomless
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:11:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 199,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonyma/pseuds/Anonyma, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKatPurrpurr/pseuds/KitKatPurrpurr
Summary: Ben Jeong is a 20-year old man who winds up in prison for being a prostitute. He's unsure of what to expect from this experience, but it's prison, and anything can happen.Rated Adult due to the explicit sex scenes, although the roleplay as a whole isn't a porno.For references of most of the characters in the roleplay, please see this link.





	1. First Impressions

**Author's Note:**

> This is a roleplay that I worked on with Anonyma from 8/29-11/13, and it's finally completed. I'll try to update this as I edit the raw file of our roleplay, but please keep in mind that due to this being a roleplay, there may be a lot of repetition in how things are written. Enjoy!
> 
> Characters I roleplayed:  
> -Ben  
> -Astrid*  
> -Turner  
> -Garcia
> 
> Characters Anonyma roleplayed:  
> -Hullahaz  
> -Kingston  
> -McDonagh  
> -Roger  
> -Orozco  
> -Obasanjo
> 
> * - Astrid belongs to Anonyma, but is roleplayed by me

Prison could easily be called the most terrifying place on Earth. It was, in a way, where morals came to die. Once you're in prison, you're virtually untouchable by the law, so who's to say you can't just butcher an inmate? Sure, you might get sent to solitary, but sometimes the silence is comforting.

Very rarely.

Ben had made it through his rough introduction to his new home, all the pat downs, name-calling by the other prisoners, and everything else. Waiting in a line with the other new inmates, he stepped forward slowly as everyone was led to their assigned cell, including him. It wasn't hard for people to realize what he was in for, with his small frame, tattoo on his lower back, and slightly rolled up tank top, and although he kept his head forward, wolf-whistles and cat-calls came his way pretty quickly, along with numerous other remarks about him being easy.

True, he had been busted for prostitution, and he was more than willing to use his skills in prison if it meant he could earn some protection or favors, but right now he wasn't really in the mood for anything like that, and the comments made him more annoyed than anything.

"Alright cupcake, here's your cell. Hope you like living with a _murderer_!" The guard laughed at him as he opened the door, pushing Ben in and leaving him to deal with that realization. His eyes opened wide as was thrust into the room, quickly scanning the room to see three men already in there. Two were playing cards at a small table, and the other one, fully tattooed and considerably scarier looking, was standing out by the window, watching the scenery. Ben was at a loss for words and kept his mouth shut, standing uncomfortably by the beds, unsure which one was his.

One of the men looked up from his table, his piercing green eyes widening at the sight of their new cell mate. With a lick of his lips, he nudged his companion, who quickly looked up to inspect the new arrival, whistling softly in return.

"You're not gonna last a _day_ , bud."

The man by the window didn't move. He barely cast a glance over at Ben. The two at the table snickered, with one of them putting his cards down at the table.

"Hooker?"

Ben groaned and leaned back against the bunk bed, folding his arms.

"Yeah. Get into the wrong car once and you're fucked, but not in the way you wanted. Guess I wasn't smart enough to see the signs."

Sighing, he looked back over at the other inmate who hadn't really acknowledged his presence. He wondered if that was the murderer of the bunch.

The men chuckled, the one with green eyes leaning forward with a sinister expression, and the other (who had dreads despite being white, go figure) wearing a cocky grin. He'd amused them, sure, but they weren't chummy yet.

"Well you're gonna get fucked in the other sense here _plenty_ , don't you worry."

"Yeah. Everyone who comes in here leaves **at least** half a faggot."

"It starts early, too..."

Ben narrowed his eyes at them.

"Well good fucking thing I'm a full faggot then, right? Nothing here for me to lose." They said what he already knew, but he could tell why they were saying it. He'd put up a strong front as long as he could, because he had absolutely no physical strength to back up his words. Part of him contemplated trying to bulk up enough to defend himself at all, but he knew any attempts he could make would be laughable. Besides, the more muscular he got, the less likely people would be into the fragile, exotic boy toy who had showed up. It would only hurt his image.

They exchanged looks, the kind of look school bullies exchange when someone tries to stand up to them, before they chuckled and leaned forward again, Green Eyes looking like he was just about to leap out of his seat.

"Oh yeah? All the better for me, then... Looks like this fucker's loose ass found a replacement."

"Fuck you, his ass is mine."

"Reel it in, you two," came a voice from the window. It was deep and slightly scratchy, but unfathomably calm.

A cold silence fell over both men.

Ben dropped an arm back and rested it against the side of the bed, trying to step back. He began panicking a bit, realizing that perhaps he'd been a bit _too_ forward with his snide remarks, but the moment the mysterious prisoner spoke, he felt a small wave of relief wash over him. Ben silently thanked him for intervening, although this situation could turn sour in an instant, so he wasn't going to completely trust him.

After a moment more of silence, Green Eyes whipped around to face the other prisoner, rolling up his sleeves even further.

"What, you gonna claim him? You really think I'm gonna let you have him? I was here first-"

"And you're in for what, arson? You remember how they found me, right? You're lucky you've even lasted a night."

As Green Eyes nearly lunged for the man, White Dreads nearly knocked over the table trying to stop him. "Don't be a moron," he said. "You don't want another broken arm."

 _Well, I think my suspicions about him were right_... Ben looked back over at the tattooed man and swallowed the lump in his throat. _Great, so I'm being defended and potentially claimed by the murderer_. Perhaps this wouldn't have to be so bad; it was clear the other men didn't mess with his authority (or if they did, they paid for it), and maybe if he could get protection, he'd be in the clear.

At any rate, he'd have to play his hand carefully. In the mean time, he stayed back away from the three men, not wanting to be part of what was happening.

Unfortunately, the murderer - despite having just stood up for the guy - seemed to show no intention of either wanting to actively protect Ben. He seemed too passive; a fact only accentuated by the way he walked past them to lie himself down on the bottom bunk of one of the sets.

He seemed too used to being top dog.

White Dreads turned to Ben and scoffed gently, seeming a bit more relaxed in his threats, yet not wanting to seem _friendly_.

"They didn't give you a uniform yet or what?"

Ben watched as the man went and laid down, ignoring the angrier inmate, and he looked back up once the other man spoke to him.

"I guess not, if this isn't it. Not like I know how shit works around here." He found himself holding his arm a bit, unintentionally coming across as timid, especially after the squabble that had just taken place. The thought of where he'd be sleeping also crossed his mind, and he began worrying about his first night in the cell with the two men who seemed hell-bent on getting into his pants.

White Dreads clicked his tongue and shook his head. "And you're just gonna wear it like that. Better hope they're gentle with you, I heard a guy got his spine fucked up from the intensity with which they-"

"Shut the _fuck_ up, Jesse," Green Eyes began, "quit talking to the new guy. Who gives a fuck."

"My name's not fuckin' Jesse, for the last time-"

"Who cares? Do I care? Do _you_ care?" Green Eyes turned to Ben.

Tattooed Man pulled out a cigarette and sighed.

Ben only shrugged, crossing his arms and strongly wanting to sit down. His natural tendency was to sit on the edge of the bed, but for all he knew it belonged to one of them, and he wasn't about to set one of them off (especially not that green-eyed prisoner). The sight of the tattooed man taking out a cigarette caught his attention, but he paid little mind to it.

“Both of you shut up and sit down. It's almost lunch," the man spoke up again. He turned the cigarette around in his hand a few times.

"But I wasn't even talking that much..." White Dreads began, only to be shoved by Green Eyes.

"Quit being such a little bitch, Jesus. Just let Hullahaz do his alpha male bullshit and we'll bite his dick off at night..."

The threat merely made the man smirk.

Ben looked back down at the man (Hullahaz?) and watched how they all interacted. It was clear that he ran the cell, and so long as Ben didn't piss him off, he'd probably be fine. In some way, he actually admired the man's commitment to being said-alpha of the cell; Ben had never been the alpha of anything in his life. Always the omega, as it were.

Although the other two had grown quiet, they were still glaring over at Ben- almost hungrily- while the man on the bottom bunk put the cigarette between his teeth, giving it a hard suck despite it not being lit.

"Top bunk's yours," he said after a while, clearly addressing Ben despite not looking at him. "Don't cry too hard."

Now more than ever, Ben was so relieved to hear him say that his bed was the one he'd be bunking in. The utter _last_ thing he wanted was to be in the same bed-vicinity of those two other inmates.

"Alright, cool." Seems he wouldn't be able to just easily sit on his own bed to rest, but somehow the thought of being off the ground away from the others made him feel better, and he climbed up onto his bunk and sat cross-legged.

The few minutes until lunch were spent in total silence, until an officer came over to open their cell door, leading them outside into the cafeteria. Although Ben and the two men walked unassisted, the man with the tattoos was put in handcuffs until he got there- something he seemed to wear proudly as he walked down the hall.

Once they had their food, they each went to their own table, leaving Ben to fend for himself.

Ben sat down at the emptiest table possible and picked away at his food, disinterested in it. A lot of eyes were on him, and he could feel them burning on his skin. Now more than ever, he wished he could go back to his cell so he'd only have to deal with three other inmates, not as many as were in this area now. Nervously biting into his food, he tried to act confident.

Not long after, a relatively tall, skinny man slid up beside him, holding a tray with a nervous smile on his face. He had shaggy brown hair and bruises on his arms, though they looked self-inflicted. "Hey, you're the new guy, right?"

Ben jumped a bit but looked up at the other man. "Yeah, I'm one of ‘em anyway." He wasn't sure what was up with this guy, but he didn't seem like he was there to flirt with him.

Well, yet, anyway. Only time would tell.

"Well, you're the one everyone cares about," he laughed softly, pushing some hair out of his eyes. "I, uh, I suppose you haven't collected your belongings yet, then? They must have finished going through them by now... I could walk you there to the office, if you wanted."

Ben smiled up at him a bit. At least someone was being _nice_ to him in some way. But he wouldn't entirely trust anyone at this prison.

"Sounds good to me. I'm... Not really all that invested in this meal anyway." Ben pushed away the tray and looked over at the other inmate.

"Haha, yeah, it's like they mash up the rats in the walls and give them to us as sustenance," he chuckled, once again gripping his tray before standing up. "I'm Roger, by the way. Usually people in here go by their last name, but..."

He offered Ben a small smile and a jerk of the head. "Let's go."

Ben couldn't help but chuckle at Roger's joke. He _wasn't_ far off.

Standing up, he took his tray up to the garbage and then continued to follow him back to the area where he could get his things back

Walking down the hall, Roger engaged in small talk with him, telling him about basic routines and the like. "We shower tomorrow. The other block gets the showers today, and we alternate like that. Honestly, I hope you get the showers in the early morning... It's when it's safest."

The tone change in Roger's voice as he talked about the showers being safest in the mornings sent a chill down Ben's spine. He'd always heard horror stories about prison showers, and he determined that he'd make it a point to shower as early as possible, away from people.

"Right, thanks for telling me that."

“Yeah, no problem. Bottom feeders have to look out for each other, you know?" He laughed softly again and pushed Ben towards the desk, where an unamused lady sat. "Tell her your name... Honestly, your stuff should be the only one available for pickup."

Ben nodded and walked up to the window, clearing his throat.

"Ben Jeong, here to pick up my things." The woman looked up at him and glanced over at the items waiting for him, turning to grab the bag of living supplies.

"Thanks." He turned back to face Roger.

Roger simply gave him a thumbs up before gesturing for him to go back to the cafeteria, as soon they'd have to be escorted back to their cells.

"You missed it, but there's usually an hour of exercise or... whatever... Out at the courtyard in the mornings. Then after lunch there are activities. You can look into signing up for them- there's stuff like church and reading groups and... Well, you can ask to be part of the helping staff."

The call for prisoners to prepare to return to their cells went out, and Ben looked around for his cellmates, but not before turning back to face Roger.

"Thanks again. See you around I guess?"

"Yeah... See you around. I'm in the art group, maybe you wanna join that?"

Green Eyes and White Dreads were already casting odd looks their way, but the tattooed man remained perfectly still as he was handcuffed anew.

"Man, I heard you'd been put in _that_ cell, but I wasn't actually ready to believe it..."

“What, a cell with a murderer? He's actually the only half-decent one in the cell, believe it or not." Seeing the guards call him over, Ben waved off Roger and headed back over quickly, getting in line behind the other inmates.

"O-okay, but... He broke a guy's nose for staring..." Roger looked rather uneasy as Ben was carted off, but his cellmates gave him looks of mild disdain.

"Took you long enough."

“Shit, sorry. Guess I'm just new here or something." It was still very difficult to not make snide comments at his cell mates, it seemed. Before long they were all shuffled back into their cells, and Ben once again climbed onto his bed to get away from the others.

White Dreads actually snickered at the comment, with Green Eyes grunting and pushing past them all to get back to his cell in time to 'freshen up' before basketball.

They didn't pay Ben much mind save for a few other hungry glances.

After the long day he'd had, Ben really only felt like taking a nap, so he laid back and looked up at the ceiling, trying to put his mind somewhere else, and letting the other men turn into white noise.

Green Eyes went to basketball, White Dreads went to botany and the tattooed man was forbidden from any activities. For whatever reason, he was considered too dangerous for that yet not dangerous enough to not have inmates.

Ben found it difficult to fall asleep, so he sighed and opened his eyes. The other man was still there, so he decided to try and make conversation.

"So... How'd you get busted?"

The man took a minute to consider which approach he should take when answering, and eventually replied in that same calm, deep voice.

"I was sitting naked in the middle of the crime scene. Didn't really put up a fight."

Ben was taken aback by the response. _Maybe this guy really IS a psychopath..._

"Well, that's....alright. At least you didn't fall into a trap for yours." He wasn't terribly sure what to say to that.

Despite not being on board with showing interest in Ben's situation (or Ben at all), he had no real reason not to follow up with a question of his own. He had nothing better to do.

"You get fucked into jail by a client?"

Ben sighed and rolled his eyes. "Well, fucked _over_ into jail. Undercover cops, ugh. Unfortunately this one didn't fuck me before arresting me, making himself even more a good guy." Ben stretched his legs out.

“Cops ain't good," he murmured, "they do the same shit we do- they just have the privilege to do it without gettin' in trouble. Don't be surprised if one of the cops here tells you to suck 'em off."

Ben's stomach churned. "Yeah, I figured as much. I know it's not just other inmates who like giving people a hard time in here." He pondered over the implications of his word choice.

“If the time comes, do it, unless you got a fetish for havin' your skull beaten in," he scoffed, turning over rather obviously to signal that the conversation was over. The last thing he wanted was to get chummy with the new guy.

Ben could tell that the other inmate was done talking to him, so he also turned onto his side and tried to fall asleep again.

Dinner rolled around soon enough, and Roger was sitting at a table in the cafeteria, all smiles and expectancy.

Ben hurried over when he saw his new friend(?) waiting for him. Dinner didn't look any more appetizing than lunch was, and although he took a few bites, he found he wasn't particularly hungry.

Ms Chernobyl: Roger asked him cordially how his day had gone. "Didn't see you at the art class... Don't worry, though, you have time. It's not going anywhere... I was thinking of signing up to be a kitchen assistant. Maybe you could, too."

Ben slumped down a bit.

"I dunno. Maybe. I only just got here today; I wasn't thinking of attending anything today, or tomorrow. We'll see, just give me some time to get settled, or whatever."

"Yeah, I understand. I just figure you wouldn't want to spend too much time alone with..." He let his eyes wander over to the tattooed man's table. Only one man seemed to have the balls to sit beside him.

"If you catch my drift."

Sighing, Ben nodded. "Yeah I do. I mean, so long as I stay on his good side I figure I'm fine. He already half-stood up for me today, so I'm not too worried." Perhaps he _was_ being too careless...

"Really? I'm surprised...! Still, whatever you do- don't bring up his sister. Some guy asked and was found hanging from the basketball hoop the next morning..." Roger cringed and scratched at his arm. "And... Don't get too comfortable..."

Ben felt his spine tingle a bit at the thought and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"W-will do." He turned to look at Roger. "So what's your story?"

He shrugged and scratched at his arm a little more, smiling softly. "Heroin possession. Funny how just hurting yourself is grounds to lock you up, huh... And you? Everyone's guessing escort, but it would be nice to hear it from you."

"Well, you heard right. It's not like I was out there hurting people or anything, ya know? But whatever." Ben fiddled with his fingers a bit, feeling irritated with his situation.

"I guess they take this illegal business really seriously... But only as a front," he wrinkled his nose and took a sip of water. "That cop at the left, Michaels? He's snorted coke in here before."

Ben rolled his eyes. "Fuckin' hate cops. I feel like they _enjoy_ locking up people who are doing nothing wrong. Like it's more fun than arresting people who actually hurt others."

"They do, they totally do!" Roger laughed nervously, drumming his fingers on the table. "And then they lump us in with actually dangerous people... I mean- you're with McDonagh and Kingston- make sure you **don't** call him Madonna, by the way; he'll wreck you. They're not the best, but... Hullahaz? Jesus."

Ben cringed a bit. "Yeah, it doesn't make sense. Though I get the impression I'm not a numerous type of criminal in here, judging by the looks and comments I receive..."

"Oh, that's because hookers never stay long." He deliberately decided against expanding upon that. "But really, you'll... You'll be okay. Just keep to yourself as much as possible and it'll be fine. You'll know who the friendly ones are."

Ben looked up at him quickly, worried about what he meant, but it was clear he wasn't going to elaborate.

"Yeah... That was kind of the goal I suppose..."

"Yeah, good, you're learning. Sleep with one eye open tonight, too... First means worst," he muttered, finishing off his dinner. "I'm going to get an early night, though... Maybe you should try to do the same."

Ben nodded and grabbed his tray. "Seems like I've got nothing better to do. Might help me keep an eye on them too. Gnite Roger."

Taking his food and dumping it, he headed back to his cell and got back into his bed, not quite sleepy yet, but relaxing anyway.


	2. The Prison Experience

It took Green Eyes (McDonagh) at least half an hour more to return to the cell, at which point he began to playfully arm wrestle with White Dreads (Kingston). It seemed like they almost got along, if it weren't for all the demeaning comments tossed back and forth.

Hullahaz hung by the window again, having found a way to light his cigarette. It was clear none of them were to speak about it.

Ben was starting to drift off when the smell of the cigarette smoke hit his nose. Stifling a cough, he felt sick to his stomach, unpleasant memories resurfacing in his mind. He knew he'd be smelling cigarettes when he arrived, but it didn't make him feel any less uncomfortable. However, he also knew better than ask Hullahaz to put it out.

Fortunately, as to not get in serious trouble, most of the smoke ended up drifting out the little open portion of the window, so the smell didn't linger long. Once he was done, he put it out, heading down to his bed.

"I'm gonna read. If anyone's got a problem, go sleep in the hall," Kingston announced- and internally he was eternally grateful for the small reading lights each bunk got.

Ben waved away the rest of the smoke and pulled his blanket up over him, turning away from the light on Kingston's bed and trying to get drowsy again. Unfortunately, now he would have to clear his mind again, but at least it was darker around him, so he could do so more easily.

After about a half hour, he finally managed to fall asleep.

An hour or two into the night, unsurprisingly, someone began to climb up his bunk. Whoever it was, he was quiet and steady, and his hands on Ben's body were firm and decisive.

"Hey, hey you- wake up." Through whispers it was sort of hard to tell who it was, but at least they sounded... More urgent than aggressive.

Ben groaned, rolling over slowly.

"What do you want?" The words were certainly more of a flat retort than an actual question, but then again, he had been woken up unexpectedly, and such things always made him bitter.

Kingston was leaning over him, frowning, not amused, his uniform pretty much entirely unzipped.

"What the fuck do you think I want? It's your first night here, I'm horny as hell, you're a hooker; you should put all that together in a heartbeat. C'mon, we don't have much time."

Ben growled a bit and moved back away from him.

"Fuck off dude... seriously..." Even if he would inevitably have to "service" his cellmates, he'd at least try to delay it, instead of just agreeing to it.

"What? Nonono, you're the new guy, you don't get to call the shots," he reached up for Ben's tank top and began pushing it up, crawling over until he was towering over him completely, dreads pressing to his face.

"Give it up, and be quick about it. Be thankful I'm not taking it by force, too- that's more McDonagh's thing."

Again, at least he'd tried.

"Fuck you..." Ben knew that the longer he drew this out, the longer it would be before he got back to sleep, as well as more memories he'd have to forget. Moving his hands down, he pushed his pants down and off one leg. Knocking Kingston's dreads off him, he gave him a look of contempt (which wasn't very visible in the dark) and put his arms beside him.

"You'd _better_ make this quick."

"Yesss, I get first dibs on the new guy," he whispered, pushing his dreads back as he put a hand on each of Ben's thighs, prying his legs apart. "You're gonna be good, right? I mean, you did this as a job. You've _gotta_ be good at sex..."

Stroking himself a bit, he began to inch closer, when he detected movement from the adjacent top bunk. "Fuck. Go back to sleep, go back to sleep..."

Ben glanced over at the other bed, almost wanting McDonagh to wake up just so he'd be able to avoid this whole situation, but chances are it would only end very poorly, _especially_ if Hullahaz woke up. His thoughts went back to sex, and he started to realize that there wouldn't be any lube involved, making him cringe. _Ugh_...

For what it was worth, Kingston was trying his best to be gentle and almost sensual, if only for the chance of more silence and less movement. Unfortunately, before he was able to even slip it in, he broke out in a silent giggle fit, which was enough to rock the bed, which in turn was enough for a hand to shoot out of the darkness, grab him by the dreads, and send him crashing to the floor.

If McDonagh wasn't awake before, he sure was now.

Ben gasped and tucked up his legs, pulling the blanket up to cover himself since other people would be undoubtedly alert to what was going on. Underneath the blanket, he hurriedly pulled his pants back up. He slowly crept to the edge of the bed and looked over to see Kingston lying on the floor.

Hullahaz was standing over him, and in the darkness of the room one couldn't see his face, but the unnerving energy radiating off him was enough to show he was furious. Kingston was rubbing his head and back and hissing in agony.

"If you're gonna fuck, do it in your own goddamn bed," Hullahaz demanded, slowly turning to face Ben as McDonagh crawled down to give Kingston a verbal ass beating (and a physical one, too).

Ben backed up against the wall and bit his lip, body shaking. Hopefully he wouldn't be mad at him too; it's not like he could have done anything to stop him. All he could manage to say was " _S-sorry..._ "

Hullahaz bared his teeth and aggressively yanked Ben's tank top down to cover him properly, before moving back and barking a decisive 'go to bed'.

If anyone woke him up again, there would be blood.

Ben gripped his blanket as his shirt was pulled down, but was relieved that that was all he did. Once again, he laid down and faced away from the other bed, though this time he covered his eyes as he shut them. His whole body shook, and he hoped that his bed partner wouldn't take it as a sign of someone else climbing up, if he could feel it.

The sudden violence had startled him, but he refused to let it bother him. Or at least let it show. Sexual aggravation he was used to. Nonsexual violence still terrified him.

The next morning, Kingston was unnaturally silent as he lay in bed with both eyes open, having gotten no sleep. McDonagh was seemingly asleep (though in the opposite direction than what he'd been in), and Hullahaz was out like a light.

On shower days, they were able to walk around freely as long as they made it back to their cells at the appropriate times. It seemed like now would be the best chance for Ben to bathe.

Ben climbed down from his bunk and rummaged through his belongings quietly, grabbing shampoo and soap. Well, he WAS going to grab the soap, but instead opted to just use shampoo. If he dropped the bar he had, he'd never live it down. Especially not on his second day.

Picking up his towel, he went over to the door, briefly looking down at Kingston and momentarily making eye contact. He almost wanted to pity him, but he knew that he'd brought it on himself.

Ben made his journey to the showers as quietly and secretive as possible, not wanting anyone to follow him in. There were already a few other inmates in there, but they had spaced out from each other, and none of them seemed to notice him or at least care about him.

Stripping down, Ben set his clothes further from the door and grabbed out his shampoo, turning on a showerhead.

Over by the corner, Roger stood slightly hunched over, arms bleeding and sighing heavily. He obviously didn't want to be noticed, but the water was doing him very few favors as each time it hit the wounds he'd sigh a little louder.

He looked over his shoulder and saw Ben, smiled nervously at him once, and tried to focus back on washing himself.

Early morning really was the best time to shower.

Ben used his shampoo like soap and washed off the filth of his first day eagerly, before transitioning to washing his hair. Somehow it still remained a bit silky, though he wondered how long that would last. Hearing noises from near him, he looked back and saw Roger in the shower, with wounds on his arms. Although he'd had bruises on him the day before, these ones looked fresh, and with a quick dry down, Ben had dressed and walked over to him, standing behind the half-wall.

"Hey, you okay?"

Roger blushed slightly and covered himself with his towel with a nervous laugh, nodding. "Yeah, I'm good, sometimes it just... Happens. You know, withdrawal."

Looking down for a bit, he slowly looked back up with a wider smile. "So how was your first night? Any issues or were you alright? You're in one piece..."

Ben made sure to keep his eyes up; he didn't want to make Roger feel any more embarrassed. "Damn, I'm sorry."

The question sent him back to the events of last night and his heart rate spiked momentarily.

"Well, a cell mate tried to sleep with me and got his ass kicked. That's... it."

"Oh... Yeah, it gets easier, I promise. But- wait, what? By whom?" Dropping his voice to a whisper, Roger leaned in. "Did you kick him off the bed?"

He was wondering which of the two had been the offender, but he knew better than to press unless Ben wanted to share.

"Kingston. And Hullahaz was woken up by him, so he was the one to kick him off the bed. I guess, pull off instead." He sighed and hugged his arms. "But yeah, that's about it." Thinking about Hullahaz last night sent chills through him, and he wanted to think about other things.

"Oh Jesus, what? He stood up for you _again_? What is up with that? He... Are you...?" He was pressing when he knew he shouldn't, so rubbing the back of his head, he put a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder. "Let's not think about it and get breakfast instead... I need to run laps soon."

Ben knew Hullahaz didn't care about him. He'd simply been woken up and reacted much more strongly than Ben had to the situation.

"Is breakfast any better than the other meals? I really should try to eat something, but I just... can't really bring myself to do it." His stomach was rumbling, but there really wasn't anything that appealed to him that they would have.

"Usually, yeah! They have pastries and doughnuts and the like. Sure, they're stale, but it beats mush..." Roger pulled his shirt on and guided Ben out towards the cafeteria again. "There's no real schedule for breakfast like there is for lunch and dinner, so it's... Well, it's arguably the best time of the day if you time it right."

He'd have to tell Ben all about allowance too, since nobody else seemed willing to do so.

Ben felt hopeful at the promise of something that didn't look like rat paste, and walking into the cafeteria he could see the spread. As Roger had said, it looked a bit old, but he wasn't complaining.

Grabbing a plate, he grabbed a chocolate doughnut and some glazed ones, along with some bacon and a box of milk.

"The coffee's actually not half bad, either," Roger smiled, going over to the machine to get himself a cup. He was glad the mornings were quiet, but in truth, he'd much rather be in the company of Kingston and McDonagh (or hell, even Hullahaz) than have the slightest chance of seeing his cell mates at the table.

Luckily they were asleep still. Last night had kept them sated.

Ben figured if he needed a cup, he would grab one, and finding a seat at a table, began to munch happily on his breakfast, waiting for Roger to return. Part of him wondered why he was being so nice to him, but he seemed a bit meek as well, and perhaps saw kinship with him. Ben wasn't too sure.

Roger got a bit caught up with the machine, giving it a few pats to see if it would dispense any milk, and at that moment a prisoner from a neighboring table leaned over and began to speak to Ben.

"You're with the skeleton psycho, right? How was your first night?"

Ben looked up and saw a new inmate he hadn't met before talking to him. Everyone seemed to want to know what his first night was night, likely because the thought of this new hooker who showed up being in the same cell as _Hullahaz_ was like their very own reality TV show.

"It was fine." He kept eating, looking back down at the doughnuts.

"Yeah, right. Did he fuckin' threaten to beat you up or what? Did he try to smother you in your sleep? He _hates_ new arrivals. It's a shock those two assholes in the cell with you guys are still there."

"That's because they were there first," another prisoner quipped. "But he's put them in their place."

"Yeah, and he'll do the same to you."

Ben set his doughnut down. "Well last night he got woken up by one of them trying to climb on top of me, so he pulled him off and told me to go to bed, and here I am. I guess I'm just.... lucky." He took another bite so he couldn't immediately reply to anything they said in response.

They exchanged looks of surprise, slowly leaning forward to perhaps try and detect if Ben was lying. "Weird that he gave you a chance... Maybe he's growing soft?"

"Yeah, maybe you remind him of his sister."

"Don't even _joke_ about that, dude."

"Well, it's probably a one-off. Stay on your toes, chinky twink."

It was then that Roger returned with his coffee and many apologies.

Ben didn't know Hullahaz at all really, but the assumption that he was growing soft seemed like a pretty dangerous one to make. _Especially_ with them joking about his sister.

Seeing Roger return was a godsend, and he instantly relaxed.

"Hullahaz really is a name around here, isn't he?" He felt a bit chilled saying his name, but his words were the first thing to come to mind.

"He's one of the few murderers we have in here, believe it or not. Like, comparatively speaking." Roger nodded and took a careful sip of his coffee. "It's how he was found that sets him apart from the rest, though."

Biting into his croissant, he swallowed before continuing. "Police actually had to _work_ to catch the other convicted killers we have in here. Hullahaz was just... There. Waiting."

Ben noticed he was gripping his doughnut a bit tightly. "Yeah, I asked him yesterday and that's what he told me." He fell deathly silent as he mustered up the energy to take another bite of his doughnut, but found he couldn't even bring himself to swallow, and grabbing a napkin, spit it up into a wad and set it on his plate, disappointingly looking at how much he was wasting. He'd only managed to eat one full doughnut.

"Ah, I- I didn't mean to put you off your food, I just... Be careful, alright? A guy like that doesn't seem to fear anything." Roger rubbed his nose and sipped on his coffee again. "I...I think, though, that you're on the right track. If you can fool people into thinking he's claimed you, they might leave you alone. He... He doesn't seem the kind to vocalize much, so he might not even deny any rumors."

Ben put his hands on his lap and fiddled with his fingers.

"I mean, if people wanna assume that he claimed me and that makes them leave me alone, then cool, but I don't think I'll actively try to make it happen. If it turns out he doesn't approve... well..." He dug his nails of one hand into the skin on the other, Hullahaz's face from the night before flashing in his head.

"No, no, dude, listen. _Actually_ being claimed by that guy would be a godsend. **Nobody** would touch you. I know I'm telling you to be careful, but really, everyone has needs in here. Everyone. If you get him riled up enough and manage to get him to do you, you're golden. Just keep him coming back for more. You should know how to do that better than anyone..." Roger fidgeted and finished his croissant.

"I think now would be a good time to go running."

Ben felt almost a bit _flattered_ by Roger, but he did have a good point. He knew he'd have to tread very, very carefully though. And how would he do it anyway? Getting someone to fuck him was never usually a challenge, but it seemed almost like an insurmountable one now.

The comment about running shook him from his thoughts. "I dunno if I wanna go get sweaty after showering, so I might just... head back up. Think about things." As Ben stood up, he paused. "And how do I sign up for activities? Just in case I do decide to get out today."

Roger scratched at his ear and nodded in understanding. "I just do it to take off the edge, you know. Try and make me a little less antsy. For activities, you can head to the main office... There's a list, and you can ask about each. The lady who works there is nice to the underdogs like us..."

A sudden sparkle in his eye, he stood up. "Oh, shit, that's right! You get a weekly allowance, and you can spend it on stuff at the shop. Candy bars and the like... It's really useful, but you need to sign up for it too."

Ben perked up. "Where do I sign up for it?" He got excited at the thought of being able to buy food that wasn't cafeteria slop, even if it was mainly chips and candy. Checking out the list of activities would also be fun, and he looked forward to the ways he could spend his time away from his cell mates.

Roger smiled and took his empty cup over to the shelves. "Main office, too. That's where most of this stuff happens... But collection- you know, where you got your belongings- is where you get your letters, too... My family hasn't written to me in a while, though."

Ben dropped his plate, causing the doughnuts to scatter. He froze up for a moment before kneeling down to clean up his mess, not speaking.

His dad knew he'd been arrested, and for what, after two years of not speaking, following Ben's abrupt departure from home. The thought of getting a letter from him terrified him.

"Right... well I'm gonna head to the main office. See you later." Rushing over to a trash can, Ben tossed out his remaining breakfast and rushed to the office.

Roger called out after him, but realized the futility of his actions and decided to head to the courtyard. He was doing a bang-up job of befriending the guy.


	3. Flirt

The lady at the office was, in fact, rather kind to those who seemed more defenseless, and was glad to talk Ben through the available activities; botany, assembly, church and bible studies, tai chi, basketball, soccer, pottery, art, literature and chess.

Ben liked the sound of doing an art class (it reminded him of his sister), and it didn't seem to conflict with assembly, which was right up his alley. Back in the day, he'd been quite interested in mechanics, and that shared interest with his dad was the only positive thing they did together.

Signing up for both, he also remembered to ask about the allowance, and after getting that situated, he got the schedule for the activities to take back to his cell, and headed there.

The atmosphere in the cell was a bit tenser than it had been in the morning, what with everyone now awake and wandering about. Hullahaz was reading a book, and Kingston was fidgeting around waiting for botany to begin.

McDonagh looked about ready to tear someone apart, as usual, but by some miracle his eyes softened when Ben entered the room.

Ben gave McDonagh a half-smile as he entered (as he was the only one who in any way acknowledged he was entering), and climbed back onto his bed to read the pamphlet he'd taken from the office. It was something to do anyway, and it kept his mind off of other things, even though he knew he needed to eventually plan out a way to get Hullahaz to claim him.

After a bit of silence, Kingston spoke up. "About- about last night."

"Don't," McDonagh began, rolling his eyes.

"No, I'm sorry. I shoulda waited, or, or like. Asked. Or at least brought you over to my bed."

"Or shared him with me," the redhead teased, but slowly shook his head. "Nah, I'm fine with Jesse for now. One day, though..."

"My name's not _fucking_ Jesse!"

Ben dropped the pamphlet on his face, not expecting to hear what he did. Crawling on his bed over to the edge, he looked down at the two other men.

"Well, apology accepted I guess. Honestly I think you suffered more than I did last night, but, thanks anyway."

They still didn't seem particularly friendly, and they certainly didn't look like they'd given up hope on one day tasting the fresh meat, but they knew the futility in trying to overstep their boundaries.

It wasn't really a spoken line which they'd crossed, but they were too afraid of getting killed to try anything again for a long time.

"Yeah, I think I heard my head crack, heh."

Ben gave a small shrug before moving back to how he was on the bed, feeling a little tired. Perhaps it had been from having his sleep disrupted, or something else, but he contemplated taking another nap. It was nice to at least be able to nap whenever he wanted to.

Hullahaz hadn't said a word, but he was well aware of all that was happening in the room. Kingston was overjoyed when botany hour came around, and McDonagh decided he'd grab some breakfast since he'd neglected to do so earlier. After that, he'd probably spend half the day in the courtyard, trying to pick a fight.

Once they were alone, Ben once again crawled over to the edge of the bed and he looked down at Hullahaz, trying not to stare as he remembered what Roger said the previous day. He wasn't sure where to start with him, and going the blunt route likely wouldn't work. This man was an enigma.

Hullahaz knew he was being watched, and it made him grip his book all the tighter, but eventually he tossed it aside and began to fiddle with his uniform's zipper, pulling it down slowly as he began to sat up.

He was starting his pre-shower preparations...

Ben jumped back a bit when he saw him move, and rolling onto his back, slunk back further onto his bed.

 _What do I do, what do I do??_ Another quick glance down revealed more of Hullahaz's tattoos, and Ben bit his lip. He certainly was a looker.

Rolling his uniform all the way down to his hips, he displayed his lack of a shirt almost proudly. Pulling at his nipple ring, he cautiously slid his hands down to the set of rings right above his pelvis, carefully undoing the strips of silky ribbon running through them, which he then deposited into a box. He did the same with the rings on his neck.

After that, he removed his earrings, putting them in the box as well, which he then slid under his pillow. Grabbing his towel, he looked up at Ben and locked eyes with him as he zipped his outfit back up.

Ben had turned back around and watched, feeling himself grow hot. And yet, the moment Hullahaz stared him right in the face, his eyes opened wide, face went bright red, and he pushed himself out of view, curling up on the bed as he realized what he'd done.

_Oh no, oh no, oh god..._

Without saying a word, Hullahaz walked out of the cell, and for a split second it looked like he'd been smiling. As soon as he set foot outside, an officer walked up to him to escort him to the showers, prompting him to scoff.

"You gonna take a shower with me, officer?"

"Very funny. Don't kill anyone in there, alright? I'm already fucking terrified of you as it is."

Ben put his cool hands over his face to try and calm himself down, but it didn't work, and within moments he became painfully aware of the erection in his pants.

_The fuck is wrong with me??_

Although he had no idea when Hullahaz would be back, he knew the others would be out for a while, and it would probably long enough for him to rub one out. There weren't any tissues around, but he figured he could just cum in his hand and then wash it off when he was done.

Lying back on his bed, he pulled his pants down and closed his eyes, hoping no one would walk by and notice what he was doing, silently thanking the fact he was on a top bunk.

In the shower, Hullahaz was approached by a few brave inmates who wanted the scoop on his situation with Ben.

"I thought you didn't take wives! What's this deal with the new guy?"

"Yeah, is it true you protected him?"

"Are you actually going soft or is there something you want from him?"

"If you don't want him, can I have him? His ass looks tight as fuck."

"Not a chance, he's a hooker. He's gotta be loose."

He didn't react to a single word.

Ben had managed to cum within a matter of minutes to thoughts of being pinned down by Hullahaz, and by the time he did cum, he felt dirty and ashamed of himself. Quickly pulling up his pants, he went and washed off his hands, climbing back onto his bed and trying to act like he'd been reading the same front and back pamphlet the entire time.

Hullahaz walked in shortly after, hair still wet and slightly clinging to the side of his face. He dried it off once more with his towel before tossing it aside, running a hand through his hair until it naturally stood up. Reaching under his pillow, he pulled out his jewelry box, working on putting his earrings back in.

Then he unzipped his uniform anew to affix his ribbons. He allowed himself a short glance up at Ben, which could be interpreted as a greeting.

Ben had sat up and watched him enter, feeling the burning in his chest and pants again. And yet he couldn't turn away. Putting his face in his hands again, he forcefully blocked his view and then turned away, lying back on his bed.

_Fuck..._

Hullahaz was two seconds away from saying 'I have that effect on people', but decided it would be far too friendly.

"Don't make yourself seem so easy," he opted for instead. Whether or not there was a hidden intent to his message was unclear.

Ben opened his eyes.

"W-what do you mean? Did I do something wrong?" It was almost part of his nature to act easy, or maybe it was just because he was used to it.

"Don't ask me that kinda question, I ain't your dad. Matter of fact, don't ask me any kinda question." He zipped his suit back up and looked into Ben's eyes. "You'll know when you do somethin' wrong."

Turning around, he rolled his shoulders. "Just don't let people know you're horny unless you want to act on it."

Ben bit his lip. "Sorry. I'll keep that in mind." It was clear that Hullahaz knew what was on his mind, and in that moment he realized he could probably jump on that opportunity of having sex (after all, he _did_ want to act on it) to try and reel him in, as Roger sort of put it.

But he'd already cum, and with enough time having passed, as well is it being daytime and all, it wouldn't be a great situation to try anything in.

The truth of the matter was, being forbidden from partaking in any activities, Hullahaz got bored out of his tree on a daily basis. He had the alpha image to maintain, so he couldn't let anything get to him, but he secretly craved variety. He'd never admit it, but seeing Kingston and McDonagh be idiots together was sometimes entertaining...

Now that he was aware of his reputation being in peril, he knew he'd have to act upon it. Everything pointed towards him having to dominate Ben...

He stood very still, lost in thought. The other two would be gone a while still.

Ben climbed down from his bed to put the pamphlet on his pile of belongings, walking by Hullahaz and trying to pretend like he hadn't jerked off to thoughts of him only minutes prior.

As if a switch had been flipped, Hullahaz's arm shot out to grip at the back of Ben's shirt. His eyes were glued to the clock, mentally planning out his course of action so that events coincided exactly with _at least_ McDonagh's return.

Ben gasped and tucked his arms up, body freezing up, as he felt his shirt being grabbed.

"D-did I imply anything??" _Shit!! Don't ask questions!!_ Ben was scared he had just walked himself into a really bad situation.

Reeling him back a bit, he dropped his voice to a cold whisper. "What'd I say about askin'?" Not lessening his grip on Ben's shirt, he began asking questions of his own. "What do you think you're gonna get from this experience?"

Thinking perhaps he should specify, he continued. "By which I mean your time here."

Ben whimpered softly. _Fuck_...

"I-I don't know! It's not like I planned for this!! I was hoping protection, but it's not like I said 'yep, gonna latch onto him' when I first got here!!"

A half-lie.

Hullahaz's other hand hovered at his side, but deliberately inched closer to Ben's body. "So that is your game, then. Let me tell you, though, what you're gonna realistically get."

Leaning in a tad, he spoke right by Ben's ear. "Fucked. A lot. Tossed around. Beaten. Bruised. All of that combined and on a daily basis unless you actively work around it. Don't be a little bitch. Learn some self defense. Use your _arousal_ ", he gestured towards Ben's crotch, "to your advantage."

Ben was still half-frozen in fear. "S-somehow I don't think you're gonna teach me about the second thing... more the first thing." Every word he spoke, he instantly regretted. "B-but if you did teach me out to use it to my advantage, that'd be... helpful."

Hullahaz's hand slowly trailed up to Ben's neck, fingers dancing around it as he spoke slowly, eye still on the clock. "I ain't gonna do shit for you. I don't have to. You have all you need to do it for yourself- hookers don't last the week in here, but you can learn from their cockups."

Ben found himself wanting to ask more and more questions, the more he heard Hullahaz talk, but knew he couldn't ask a single one. He was more distracted by the way his neck was now being held, and he almost reached a hand up instinctively, but knew better. His body was shaking, and he wanted to run but knew he couldn't.

Five minutes. Five minutes until one or both of them returned. Five minutes of holding Ben to him slightly, hand hovering around his neck, fingers curled around his shirt. Five minutes of slow murmurs of all the things he'd witnessed since coming here. "If you act confident, they'll take it as a front. Be friendly to those who deserve it, but be ready to get fucked over. Keep to yourself, acting out will make people want to fight you."

"Okay..." Ben nodded slowly, his mind racing. He thought back to Roger and how friendly he'd been right from the start, especially with his arm wounds, and an unpleasant feeling formed in his stomach.

As soon as the cell door opened, he knew his time was up. Gripping Ben's neck, he flipped him over onto his bed, pinning him down as he climbed on top of him. Kingston backed up into McDonagh from the shock, and the redhead cursed under his breath.

"I'm sick of seein' the same scenario play out again and again," Hullahaz whispered an inch from Ben's face. "Make sure I don't have to."

 _Was that a challenge to be a better hooker than all the others?_ Ben couldn't say for sure. All he knew was he was now thrown on Hullahaz's bed and both Kingston and McDonagh were privy to him being subdued.

Hullahaz made direct eye contact with both other men in the room before asking what they were looking at. Kingston instantly panicked.

"Nothin'! Not a damn thing, just, you know. Lunch is in ten minutes, and, well, you. You seem ready."

McDonagh cursed under his breath again, shaking his head as he sat down at the window. Hullahaz let Ben go, sitting back. He hadn't applied much force, but there were still slight red marks on the man's neck.

Ben coughed a bit, recovering from having been strangled, even if only slightly. He kept his hands up on his chest. Not wanting to sit up until Hullahaz had gotten off the bed (or moved him), he laid there, tense and in waiting.

Not wanting to stay in there any longer, Kingston babbled about getting a table before anyone else and bolted out of the cell, with McDonagh calling him a pussy (yet very nearly following behind him). Hullahaz at first pretended that Ben wasn't still on his bed, but eventually let his eyes wander to the young man lying there.

What must he be feeling, he wondered? Was he afraid?

Ben's breathing slowly returned to normal, and he closed his eyes, sighing through his mouth. Rubbing his face, he realized that Hullahaz still wasn't moving, so he pulled his legs back a bit and sat up, opening his eyes and looking down at the floor. He swiveled his legs to the side and sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, wondering what he would do next with himself.

It seemed as though Hullahaz had no interest in protecting him, aside from arming him with good advice (he hoped), so Ben knew he'd likely have to protect himself.

Hullahaz gave him little more than a side-glance, but his posture seemed to relax as if he were relieved that Ben was, at the very least, not crying. Closing his eyes, he leaned back against his pillow and waited for the guard to escort him to the cafeteria.

McDonagh knew Kingston was already telling anyone who'd listen that Hullahaz had flipped his shit again, and he knew he'd have to corroborate this sooner or later. He knew it was most likely just a way for the skeleton man to stay on top, but he also knew it would **work**.

Ben waved off the guards when they asked if he was going to go to lunch, seeing as he had no appetite and didn't feel like hanging around a bunch of other people. He really just wanted to take a nap and then approach his situation after being well-rested. Climbing up his bunk, he pulled his blanket over his head and lied there, still rubbing his neck a bit as his eyes watered up just the slightest bit.

It was reflecting on what Hullahaz had said that triggered any tears at all, but he wasn't actually driven to crying by anything, just a slight reaction to an intense event.

And after about ten minutes, any trace of the tears was gone, and he had passed out.

After lunch, Kingston did pretty much whatever he could not to have to go back to the cell unless it was for sleeping, and Hullahaz was taken to the courtyard as a form of mandatory exercise, so up until dinner it was just McDonagh and Ben.

The redhead nearly made advances on him, but decided against it in case the tattooed man sprang out of nowhere. It wasn't that he _hated_ Ben, either- he just wanted something new and exciting. Maybe if he was lucky the hooker would come to him sometime.

"How aren't you hungry?"

Ben had woken up when McDonagh was brought back, and lied in bed staring up at the ceiling as he tried to ignore his rumbling stomach.

"I am, I just can't... bring myself to eat? I dunno. Even those doughnuts from earlier, I had like one and then it was like trying to give a cat medicine. Couldn't eat any more."

He might be divulging a lot of information, but he didn't really care.

"Huh. I mean, it's pretty shitty food. But you won't be able to hold your own if you don't at least try- I heard there's steamed vegetables for dinner. Talk about lazy."

He ran a hand through his hair and groaned. "I hope the warden brings me my booze today... I have a fight scheduled for tomorrow."

If he didn't get to beat someone into the ground at least once a week, he could become an actual hazard.

Supposing that he could try the veggies, he looked forward to dinner, and his stomach reminded him that it was even more excited for it than he was.

Ben peered over the bed to look at him. "Are the fights you do supported by the guards or is it all underground shit that the cops 'ignore?'" It couldn't hurt to ask, right?

"The ones I _did_ were ignored. The ones I do now are just a means to make sure I don't kill you three in your sleep. Not that I haven't considered it," he murmured. "The cops don't mind- we're all here for one fucked up reason or another in their eyes."

Looking up at Ben, he offered a shrug. "There's little mystery to it. Sitting me down to make clay pots won't suppress the urge to fight."

Ben realized now that if McDonagh ever wanted to have sex with him, he would probably be risking his life in declining. "Makes sense. I guess. You gonna go back to fighting when you're out?"

"Yeah," he replied without missing a beat, his hand trailing up to rub at his obviously broken nose. "It's not what I'm in for, not the primary charge anyway. Besides, it's good money. I've been doing it since I was thirteen."

Ben nodded, a bit impressed that he'd held up as long as he did. "Yeah, I, uh, I have not been prostituting since I was thirteen. Only since I was eighteen. Probably for the best."

It was kind of a sick joke, but why not, right?

McDonagh snorted and turned away, perhaps to disguise his laughter. Shaking his head, he produced a journal from under his mattress. "A lot of sick fucks seem to be into the innocent Asian boy scene, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if you had started at that age."

Ben shrugged, going "eh."

"I mean, my dad's Asian and I guess he was into it, ahaha...." His dark laughter faded out as he realized the weight he'd dropped on his cell mate.

"Sorry, too much?"

The pen which had been idly scribbling on paper went silent, with McDonagh's bright green eyes meeting Ben's for a split second, that softer look in them. He quickly looked back down to conceal this.

"Yeah. Way too much."

Did child abuse lead him to prostitution? How did that even work?

Ben felt what was like a swift punch to the gut and he moved back a bit, turning around on his bed to face the wall. "Sorry."

"I guess no positive influence is what always gets us in this place, huh." Ben had overshared, perhaps he could too. "Loved my mom to pieces, but she was strict. Strict and blind. My dad left home when I was young, and everyone else she ended up with treated us like shit."

Ben turned back a little bit to glance at McDonagh. "Well... damn. I'd say 'sorry' but you've probably heard it a million times and it doesn't make anything feel better. We're both here in this cell now."

“Yeah, it's just funny to see how we end up in here." He snorted a bit. "I like how you think anyone else in here would care enough to apologize. Still... Fighting helps. I'm sure on some level taking cock helped you, too." A bold statement, perhaps.

Ben exhaled with some energy. "Yeah, maybe it did. You find the one thing you're good at and stick with it, ya know? The one thing that seemed to make things go by more easily." He wasn't even trying to be subtle at this point.

Without looking up from his page, McDonagh pointed at him with his pen in silent agreement. "If it puts food on the table it can't be all that bad." This was untrue, of course, but he didn't care. He'd take beating people up over assaulting peaceful protesters any day. In his heart, he knew cops were worse than him.

"I suppose." Ben recalled the times he would buy food with his money, only to feel undeserving of it and ashamed, letting most of it go bad in his fridge. Thinking back to food reminded him of how hungry he was, and lying back in his bed with the back of his hand to his forehead, looked forward to dinner.

Kingston suddenly rushed into the room, looking just as nervous as he had before he left. "I didn't want to come back but there’s a few laundry machines available and I want to wash my suit and- Wow, this is a peaceful picture."

McDonagh looked up with a scowl, reaching for the pile of clothes on the floor before throwing it at Kingston. "Wash that while you're at it."

Ben hadn't been given a replacement uniform yet, but it would be in by the end of the week.

Ben looked down at Kingston and gave him a small smile. "I've got nothing aside from my towel, if you wanna wash that." He pointed down at the towel that was hanging off one of the chairs. "Though if you don't wanna grab it, that's fine. I just figured I'd offer it up."

He wanted to ask McDonagh about self-defense stuff once Kingston had gone.

"Yeah, no, okay, I'll wash the towel, Jesus fuck when is it dinnertime? I hate this anticipation, it's killing me..."

Collecting their belongings, he rushed out of the room again and left the two alone- although who knew when Hullahaz would be back.

Ben climbed down from his bunk and sat on the edge of Hullahaz's bed again, looking over at McDonagh.

"So... considering I'm this meek hooker and I'm fresh meat to pretty much everyone here, do you think there'd be any way for me to protect myself? I'm not you, obviously; I can't fight for shit. So I'm thinking something of the weapon variety."

"Shank," he replied curtly, not looking up from his page until he was done writing. Slamming the journal shut, he threw it up to his bunk. "You know what that is, right?"

He looked around a bit before proceeding. "You can go about it two ways. Either sharpen an object to the point of making it a weapon, or somehow get your hands on a shard of glass and incorporate it to something sturdy. And for the love of fuck, don't let _anyone_ know you have it."

Ben knew he had very few options for hiding a weapon, so he opted to go with the former option. "I think I'll just try sharpening something, but what? I have my toothbrush, but I'm not sure how I'd get an extra without looking suspicious..."

He certainly wasn't very skilled at this being in prison thing yet.

"Pick an inmate you fucking hate and say they threw it in the toilet. It's worked for people in the past." The way he spoke made it seem like he'd been in there for quite some time already- and he had. Two years...

"Or you could always buy another one, but really... What's the fun in that?"

Ben laughed weakly at McDonagh's comment. Perhaps it'd be no fun for _him_ , but Ben preferred the safe route. Of course, then he'd have to wait a week to get his allowance for the first time. He'd just have to survive a week.

 _A week_.

It had already felt like a week had passed, and it had only been almost two days.

"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."

A week was the general life expectancy for a prostitute in prison, but it seemed that his cellmates were more willing to give him advice than he'd expect.

Maybe he could make it.

The door creaked open silently and Hullahaz was thrown inside, only five minutes before it was dinnertime. He looked up at Ben first, as if trying to discern whether or not there was bad blood between them.

Ben stood up from Hullahaz's bed quickly once he saw him enter, stepping back. For as rough as the man had been last night, he had been surprisingly _gentle_ to him today, and although he still feared the man, he wasn't quite as terrified as he was when he woke up.

"Hey." In the moment of silence that followed, Ben turned and went to go sit down on one of the chairs, waiting for the final minutes before dinner to pass.

The moment they were called for dinner, Hullahaz seemed to wince. He'd just been out of cuffs and now he had to wear them again... Still, he said nothing as he was once again escorted.

McDonagh walked beside Ben, speaking to him in a whisper. "Remember, don't let anyone know you have _it_. Especially not Hullahaz. Lord knows how the fuck that would play out."

"R-right..." It was nerve-wracking walking behind the tall, tattooed man while talking about something of that nature, but Ben knew that if he wouldn't protect him, that he'd have to protect himself.

Once they got to the cafeteria, Ben practically ran over to the food and got himself a bowl of veggies, along with a bread roll. His eyes scanned the crowd of people, when he spotted Roger, and he quickly walked over after grabbing a water bottle.

Roger nearly dropped his fork at the sight of him. "Where were you? I thought you'd been killed! Everyone began talking about how Hullahaz _strangled_ you... I thought you were a goner."

Although he wanted to ask if Ben had done anything to incur the man's wrath, he also had the feeling Ben hadn't done anything at all, and it had been a result of outer forces at work. "I guess he didn't want you making the mistake of trusting him, huh."

Ben shrugged, though he was quite glad that Roger had been concerned with him having not been around.

"Honestly I didn't show up because I wasn't hungry. And it wasn't like he strangled me that hard. I think the marks have already faded, actually. But I think it wasn't because he was actually pissed at me. Just trying to remind me of my place in this mess of a hierarchy. I guess."

Sitting down with his tray, he began digging into the veggies and being surprised at how palatable they were.

"O-oh, well... I guess I should have expected that, but..." Did Ben really say he hadn't been strangled that hard? Was he _trying_ to make Hullahaz seem weak? Was he _trying_ to get himself in trouble?

Roger looked around nervously, drumming his fingers against the table. Had anyone else heard that? He hoped not, but the look in some inmates' eyes told him otherwise. It would reach Hullahaz sooner or later.

Ben was entirely oblivious to what he'd just done. Remembering their conversation earlier, he swallowed his food before talking again.

"By the way, I signed up for art and assembly. Both sounded interesting to me, especially since I haven't done mechanic stuff in years."

"Oh! Good, I'll see you at art, then! Assembly's not my thing, I'm too dainty... And my hands shake too much." Blushing a bit, he nibbled on a steamed potato. "But maybe it'll help you get buff?"

Maybe that would help him when the time came, Roger thought. Maybe it didn't all have to end in tears.

Ben laughed. "Eh, maybe. I just miss getting to handle machinery. I used to watch my dad work on cars a lot. He showed me how it worked, and I learned at school what I could. I mean, until I, uh, ran away."

Roger leaned in, intrigued. "You ran away? I dunno why I thought you'd just moved out, but I guess that makes more sense. I won't pry..." With a little laugh, he lowered his voice. "Maybe you can build us a getaway vehicle."

Ben chuckled and spoke softly. "Yeah well we'd have to riot first." He sneered a bit as he continued eating.

After revealing part of his history already to McDonagh, he didn't feel compelled to reveal more to Roger, _especially_ after the conversation he had with Hullahaz earlier that day.

"I've daydreamed about that," he admitted, suddenly becoming agitated at the increased chatter volume of the tables around them. He quickly shoveled his food in his mouth and looked apologetically at Ben.

"I think I'm going to go run a few more laps before bed, you can come with me if you want... I just feel like I need to tire myself out before bed."

Ben shook his head. "Maybe eventually I'll join you, but I'm a bit too tired to. After eating this much I'll probably just head straight to bed once I go back up."

He watched how quickly Roger was eating. "You gonna head out now?"

"Yeah, I like it when it's deserted," he admitted, rubbing at his arm. "I hope you eat more tomorrow, too. It would suck if you starved; you're the only friend I have here."

Patting Ben's arm, Roger rushed out of the cafeteria, curiously followed by Kingston. Obviously, the blonde had no intention of returning to his cell yet.

Ben raised an eyebrow at seeing Kingston follow Roger, but he was still a bit bubbly over the fact that Roger did consider him a friend.

Finishing up his veggies, he ate half of the bread roll before hitting a wall and wasn't able to eat any more. He took his tray to the trash and cleaned it off before heading back up to his cell.

McDonagh arrived shortly after him, and promptly passed out upon hitting the pillow. Hullahaz was next, and he once again looked up at Ben. This time, however, he gestured for him to come down.

News had obviously reached him that he'd been perceived as weak.

Ben raised his eyebrows and slid down off the bed nervously. Taking a step back from the other man, he put his hands in front of him, nervously playing with them against his chest.

"The marks have faded," he spoke softly, though there was no kindness in his tone. This was followed up by his next sentence. "Let's fix that."

Taking a step forward, he looked Ben up and down. "Put your hands to your neck."

Ben's blood ran cold. _Oh no_....

"H-Hullahaz I'm sorry! I didn't- I just-"

It would be useless. If he didn't obey now, worse things would happen to him. He whimpered and did as he was told, slowly bringing his hands up to his neck.

He didn't react to Ben's apology. After all, there was a reason he wasn't doing the choking himself a second time.

"Squeeze."

This, of course, could be seen as a whole new alpha approach. Inmates would go wild for this one.

Ben's eyes opened wider, and he gradually began increasing the pressure on his trachea, wincing and letting go instinctively once it began to hurt. He kept trying to do it, but he reflexively released.

Hullahaz, seeing how futile this was (despite the fact he'd gotten the guy to do it at all), reached forward, pulling Ben close to him by the hair, before giving it a yank to pull his head back.

Then he bit his exposed neck.

He shoved him away just as Kingston walked in- his reply was a simple "you know what? Fuck it." before collapsing onto his bed.

Ben massaged his head where his hair was pulled and looked up at Kingston with a look of guilt and unhappiness in his watery eyes. Again, he wasn't crying for the sake of crying, but rather the natural reaction of his eyes watering after being subjected to pain.

Hugging his arms, he sat back down on a chair without really moving, just staring down at the floor.

Hullahaz took a moment to reflect on what a monster he'd become since coming here, but he soon realized it was what was best for both of them. Safest, too.

He silently considered claiming Ben.

Ben eventually wound up climbing into bed, wrapping himself up tightly in his blanket and turning to face the wall. It took him longer than he hoped to fall asleep, but eventually succeeded in doing so.

The next morning, Kingston slept in, succeeding in skipping breakfast due to his exhaustion. McDonagh immediately noticed Ben's bite mark, and shook his head slowly, heading off to breakfast on his own. Hullahaz didn't meet Ben's eyes at all.

Ben woke up late as well, unfortunately skipping breakfast (which probably also had Roger concerned). He didn't climb down out of bed early either, opting to stay in bed and be lazy.

When Kingston finally woke up, the first thing he did was walk over to Ben's bunk and look up at him. "You alright? That maniac probably heard people calling him soft again. He hasn't lashed out this much since Gonzalez..."

Ben nodded slowly. "Yeah....I'm fine." _More shaken up than anything to be honest_.

With a groan, he pushed up off his bed. "So... It's probably too late to get food. Looks like I'm stuck here killing time. The true prison experience."

"Oh yeah. Fuck. It gets kinda better, though, I mean... You can start stashing food in here as long as it doesn't go bad. You'd be surprised at all the shit they let you buy."

Walking over to the small lockers at the end of the room, he opened his and pulled out a tiny campfire. "They let a meth maker and an arsonist have one of these."

Ben smiled and chuckled. "Heh, wow. Maybe they'll let me have a huge container of lube then, right?"

As tired as Ben was feeling, he was also in a weird, half-flirtatious mood. At least, if he did instigate anything, it would be on _his_ terms.

And Kingston seemed like the nicest of the bunch.

His face went momentarily red, a sheepish grin crossing his lips.

"What, you wanna try that again?"

He wasn't sure it would be a good idea, especially after Hullahaz had already flipped out _twice_ since his arrival... But he wasn't unopposed to discussing it.

Ben leaned against his bed, arching up his back up a bit and casting a flirtatious look Kingston's way.

"I mean, I wouldn't be quite so 'fuck off, I'm trying to sleep' this time."

His heart was racing, nervous about propositioning his cell mate like this.

He looked around nervously, gripping at the end of his shirt. "Fuck, really? I haven't gotten any in _ages_ , I..."

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. "No. No, Hullahaz will skin us, won't he? But he's not here..."

Still somewhat nervously, Kingston walked over to Ben, hunching over a bit.

Ben had noticed that this second time, Hullahaz had _still_ been gentle in some way, and he really did not want to jeopardize what was essentially getting the ball rolling with him.

But he still wanted to do _something_ with Kingston. Taking his arm, he pulled him back behind the small wall and looked up at him, his whole body quivering as he contemplated his next move.

Sex was too risky, but perhaps he could do something else? He placed his hands on Kingston's hips and slid them down, kneeling down on the floor in front of him.

"You think we could do this and not get caught?"

Kingston's eyes were wide from more than just refusing to wear his glasses. It seemed the tables had turned in his favor, and he wasn't sure whether to be nervous or overjoyed.

He'd enjoy the moment for now, he figured, putting a hand up to his face to conceal his blush as he undid his zipper.

"Shit, if he walks in..."

Yet his fear was not enough to override his excitement, and he could feel his underwear tightening.

 _If he walks in, I'm blaming you_. Ben wasn't about to say that out loud, but he was certainly thinking it.

It had been far too long since he'd last gotten to suck dick, and Ben was thrilled to get to have the opportunity again. Pulling down the front of Kingston's underwear, he got to see the decently sizeable cock that almost fucked him the other night. He was thrilled.

Licking his lips to get them wet, he gently took him in his hand and stroked him momentarily before putting his tip in his mouth, then gradually sliding him further into his mouth.

He'd learned to suppress his gag reflex for a reason.

Kingston's entire body shook with pleasure, his voice coming out as a mere whimper as his hand covered more of his face. He hadn't gotten a blowjob in _ages_ , and he knew someone in Ben's line of work wouldn't disappoint.

Slowly, he closed his eyes, remaining unnaturally still as he was sucked off, as if the slightest movement could alert Hullahaz to their activities.

A soft 'fuck' escaped him before he bit down on his lip hard, trying to steady his shivers.

Closing his eyes, Ben felt the prison atmosphere melt away, and in his head he was in a motel room or someone's apartment, kneeling in front of them and sucking them off. The quiet "fuck" he heard only served to give him a small erection of his own, and he wished that when he opened his eyes that he'd be out of prison.

But when he opened them, he looked back up and saw the dreadlocked man with his eyes closed, losing himself to the blowjob in the prison cell.

Worried about how much time they had left, Ben pulled out all the stops with his various techniques and pushed him in deeper, hoping to get him to cum soon.

Within minutes, both due to Ben's expertise and Kingston's dry spell, the younger man's mouth was flooded with semen, and the blonde was collapsing to the floor from the shakiness he was experiencing.

Trying to catch his breath, Kingston opened his eyes slowly, his face still flushed. Despite having no real attraction to guys, he wondered if he'd ever be able to go back to women after prison.

"Shit, Jesus, I... _Hah_ , I can't believe... I..."

Was he meant to do anything? Tapping into whatever instinct told him to do, he leaned forward and gave Ben a shaky kiss on the forehead.

Ben swallowed the load quickly, savoring the bitter taste he'd actually come to miss. He was happy he'd managed to please one of his cell mates, though he hoped that it wouldn't become something he demanded from him regularly. After all, if Ben wanted to do it, he'd do it, and he'd do a good job. But force him to and you'll only get the bare minimum of required effort.

The kiss on his forehead took him by surprise, and he blushed a bit. "Aw, thanks."

Rubbing the back of his head, he stood up, hoping his small erection would pass and that Hullahaz wouldn't suspect anything had happened between them.

As soon as Kingston became properly aware of his surroundings, he noticed they weren't alone. He let out a yelp of fear before noticing that it was McDonagh, leaning against their bed with his eyebrow arched.

"You skipped breakfast to get sucked off?"

"No, I...! It just happened, I didn't-"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up, you pussy," McDonagh cut him off before throwing something wrapped in a napkin at him. He looked over at Ben before doing the same to him.

Ben's face went bright red and he turned away from them to open up the napkin.

Inside it was a croissant- nothing amazing, but better than no food at all. McDonagh headed over to the little table and began to shuffle cards.

"Guess I still have to wait my fucking turn."

Ben moved away from the table, but paused, hating himself for setting a standard by what he was about to say, but doing it so perhaps McDonagh wouldn't try to take it by force later.

Leaning down a bit, he quietly murmured, "It will come, and you won't have to wait too long, I promise."

It really was just to keep him off his back, but Ben figured it was true nonetheless.

McDonagh laughed and he shook his head, jabbing Ben in the stomach relatively gently.

"I have this guy. I'll be fine."

Kingston's eyes widened with surprise at how lenient McDonagh was being- it was almost equivalent to a dog showing its belly- but this was quickly replaced with frustration.

"Oh yeah? What if I don't want to, huh?"

"'Course you want to."

Ben gave a half, sheepish laugh and backed up, moving back over to his bed without climbing back up. Taking a bite of the croissant, he found he was thankful for the food having been brought up.

McDonagh yanked a protesting Kingston into his lap and had him writhe there for a while as he laughed quietly, but all of this ended remarkably fast the moment the cell door swung open anew.

As entertaining as Ben found it, hearing Hullahaz enter sent panic shooting through him, and he looked forward, trying to not act suspicious. He only glanced over at him for a moment.

Disregarding everyone in the room, he stripped down to his waist before dropping to the floor and beginning to do pushups. Kingston whispered a 'good idea' before starting to work out on his bed, whereas McDonagh decided he'd wait until after lunch. He looked up at Ben.

"You'd benefit from this shit."

Ben bit his lip. "I haven't worked out since high school to be honest. Wouldn't know where to start."

"It's easy!" Kingston piped up. "Just... Start with squats or something. If it hurts, it's a good sign."

McDonagh tossed him a small bag with two little weights inside.

"Start with that. Unless you'd rather watch."

Ben took the weights out and began trying to lift them in a way he believed he'd seen people do before, hoping the other men weren't watching him.

He was quite the weakling, and even these weights proved a challenge to lift for too long.

"Keep goin'," Hullahaz spoke up, which caused the other men in the room to go silent, "or you'll never stand a chance against me."

Kingston and McDonagh exchanged looks. Was Hullahaz suggesting he was going to keep tormenting Ben, or that he was going to teach him how to fight?

Or was it something else entirely?

Ben stopped when he heard Hullahaz speak to him, but felt a moment of burning determination, and he continued lifting with a little more speed.

For a split second, it did once again look like Hullahaz was smiling. He didn't speak again until lunch, but for some reason the atmosphere in the room was completely calm.

Ben actually felt pretty good after his brief workout, and was pleased that Hullahaz seemed happy about it.

Perhaps things with him could work out?

"Check in the lockers," Hullahaz said to McDonagh before exiting the room, being immediately cuffed.

McDonagh had to hide a hoot of glee as he saw a small bottle of whiskey stashed inside. He'd drink this after lunch to prepare for his fight.


	4. Piqued Interest

Ben decided to head down to lunch, only a little hungry, mainly for Roger's sake. Following the others down, he grabbed a sandwich without getting a tray and looked around for his friend.

Roger was sitting by the window with a tired look on his face. Apparently going to bed early hadn't worked out too well for him. Upon seeing Ben approach, he smiled gently.

"Hey..."

Ben sat down beside him and began eating slowly.

"Hey, you doin' alright?"

"Eh, yeah... You know how it is." Or not, apparently, seeing how Ben looked almost radiant in comparison to him. Save for that mark on his neck...

"Oh, boy. What's that?"

“A reminder from Hullahaz." For once, Ben decided not to elaborate. And for the best.

He _did_ take pride in the mark, since it helped solidify more of the image of being claimed by the tattooed man.

Roger put a hand up to his mouth and gasped. Scooting a little closer, he spoke to him in a whisper, urging him to do the same.

"So are you two a thing or not?"

Ben shrugged. "I dunno. Probably not...yet anyway. But he seems to like me well enough. He left the crusts off his sandwich.

"You got to work it, dude! Shake that ass in his face until he actually properly pins you down," he murmured, smiling. "I know you have it in you. Your other cell mates haven't tried to kill you yet."

Ben blushed as he giggled. "Yeah I suppose."

Today his activity was assembly, and he looked forward to it, though he was also enjoying his time with Roger.

"Speaking of which, McDonagh is fighting someone in the courtyard today, isn't he? Are you going to go watch?" If he had activities at that time, the answer was probably no, but it was worth asking anyhow.

Ben remembered that and suddenly felt a pang of guilt. He had been looking forward to his activity, but decided it would probably be in his better interest to go watch the fight. Plus, he wanted to watch.

"Y-yeah, I'll go."

"You don't _have_ to, you know. He won't notice, I bet... That guy fights fucking blind, it's really scary. All he sees is his target." Roger drummed his fingers as usual, finishing off his meal.

"Let's just hope he doesn't kill anyone today..."

Shrugging, Ben stood up to throw out his crusts. "Eh, I figured that's how it was with fighters."

"They usually know when to stop," Roger chuckled, following behind him. "But still, I'm sure it'll be good fun to watch. You can work on Hullahaz later."

Ben nodded and stretched, looking around. "So where is it taking place?"

"Just by the basketball court, where things of this nature usually fold out," Roger rolled his eyes with a smile.

Ben chuckled uneasily. "...Think you could show me where? They didn't exactly give me a tour of everything when I got here..."

"You'll know when you see the crowd," he chuckled, gesturing outside the window. The courtyard was in clear view, and the basketball court was at the far end.

Ben could spot the crowd of people gathering, and he quickly walked over with Roger, excited to see the fight play out.

Normally he wasn't into this kind of thing, but considering he knew one of the fighters and was even friendly with him to some degree, he wanted to check it out.

The man who McDonagh was currently circling was taller than him, with darker skin, eyes and hair, and a full set of gold teeth. No wonder he'd needed the booze.

It didn't matter to the Irishman, though. Within seconds he was done taunting his opponent and slugging at him instead. The crowd moved back.

Ben cheered him on, his heart racing as he watched them swinging at each other. From his limited perspective, McDonagh had quite a lot of fighting experience and good technique.

He was taking hits here and there, though this didn't deter him in the slightest. He successfully blocked a punch from the other man and dove at him, wrapping himself around the man in order to bring him head first to the ground. The crowd gasped.

A huge grin formed on Ben's face as he watched his cellmate taking down the other guy, and he howled in support at him.

As he continued to wrestle the man on the ground, he waited until he tapped out to get off him, blood running down his nose as he held his fist up in victory. His knuckles were bright red and he had a few teeth marks here and there, but he looked so alive.

Roger looked over at Ben with slight disdain.

Ben was happy for McDonagh, glad to see him enjoying himself and doing well. Even if it was a sick sport, at least he wasn't _actually_ killing anyone.

He noticed Roger looking over at him.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just..." He closed his eyes and put his hands in his pockets. "I'd be more uneasy about sharing a cell with him, is all."

Looking up at the sky, he shrugged.

"But I guess he'll be more mellow if he got all his energy out."

Ben snorted. "Nah, I'm still more scared of Hullahaz than him."

"That's why you have to work on him, and fast."

Roger, suddenly struck by a thought, smiled again. "Hey, you wanna see the greenhouse?"

With a smile, Ben cocked his head to the side.

"Sure."

Roger took his hand momentarily before guiding him away from the crowd. Officers would probably come by soon, just to inspect the damage.

Taking him around the side of the building, they approached a decently sized fiberglass hut.

Ben ooh'd at the greenhouse from what he could see, wondering if Kingston would be in there.

Roger led him inside- it was warm and smelled sweet. "I come here to relax when I can, but I'm no good at botany."

Kingston was, in fact, the only remaining person in there, and he jumped up from where he was crouching, yelping in the process.

Ben snickered at Kingston jumping. "Just us, don't worry. Hullahaz hasn't followed you to the greenhouse." He might be a bit mean, but he couldn't help himself.

"Jesus, no, that's not what I'm worried about," he danced around a little shrub, one that had been hidden behind a much larger plant.

"Is that...?"

"Yeah, it is. Okay? If you keep your mouth shut I'll even give you some."

Ben smirked. He hadn't gotten high in quite some time, and hoped that perhaps it might help ease the stress of being in prison.

"Don't worry, I won't tell on ya." The plant was so small; he wondered just how much Kingston planned on getting out of it.

Obviously the plant still had a lot of growing to do, but he planned on cultivating it before anyone noticed it was there. Frowning, he tucked a dread behind his ear with some difficulty.

"Let's get out of here."

"What? We just got-"

"NOW."

Ben started back for the door, heading out with Roger and Kingston in a hurry.

"Jesus Christ... Is it worth the risk?"

Kingston laughed to himself, grabbing Ben by the arm. "Uh, _yeah_? I go **crazy** if I can't mess around with shit like that. Cillian has his fights, and I have my plants. I-I uh. I mean... McDonagh."

Ben raised an eyebrow at Kingston's unintentional admittance of McDonagh's first name, making him giggle. He knew better than to repeat it though.

"So are we escaping back to the cell, or what?" They seemed to be just... running, and he didn't know where to.

"Well, yeah, I gotta go see if they haven't beaten our cellmate to a bloody pulp, and it's not good to stay out of the building for too long. They get suspicious."

"It's true," Roger admitted, "people have tried escaping before."

"So I'm gonna head back to the cell, and you can do you with... Your... friend."

Ben turned back to Roger. "You got plans? Otherwise I was probably gonna head back too."

"I, uh... I'm just going to go to the art room, maybe try to finish up on some paintings."

Kingston was already trotting back to the cell, knowing he'd be the one to tend to McDonagh's wounds.

Ben shrugged. "Maybe tomorrow? I never draw or anything, so I don't really feel like rushing through anything." His eyes trailed back to Kingston, and started to follow him distantly.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then? I know there was a fight today, but try not to miss too many of your activities. They can get kind of pissy." Roger waved at him and made his way over to the art room.

Nodding, Ben waved him off and scampered his way back to his cell, hoping that McDonagh wasn't too badly beaten up. At least, he seemed alright when he last saw him, but that was about all he stayed for.

When Ben entered the cell, he'd be able to see Kingston dipping bloodied rags into a little metal bowl, with a bitten-up McDonagh still flashing a giant grin about. Hullahaz was smoking by the window, but keeping a watchful eye on the scene.

Ben walked in and sat down on Hullahaz's bed across from McDonagh.

"Well, I saw your first fight. How did the others go?"

Kingston opened his mouth when he saw that Ben was on _that_ bed, but then again- where would he sit?

McDonagh laughed and rubbed his blood-clogged nose. "Went fine. First guy was the toughest, which was a stupid move."

"What, on his part?" He chuckled. "I think that was the one I saw." Part of him wanted to help out Kingston, but decided not to get in his way.

"On _their_ part," he corrected. "Stupid fuckers are meant to leave the toughest for last, for when I'm tired and barely conscious."

A smile stayed on Ben's lips as he listened to his cellmate talk, admiring his knowledge about fighting (something he himself had never known anything about, really).

Kingston wrapped McDonagh's wounds tightly and gave his arm a pat, which prompted a slight punch from the man. And all of a sudden, Hullahaz spoke.

It was just a single word.

"Hey."

Ben’s head quickly turned once he heard Hullahaz speak, and his eyes opened a little more widely.

He stood very still, cigarette hanging from his lips, before blowing out a puff of smoke and folding his arms, eyes trained on Ben.

"A 'hello' would be nice."

"Well, hi." Ben quickly glanced back at the other two to see if they knew what was up. It seemed almost a bit weird for Hullahaz to just randomly greet him out of nowhere, since he'd already been back in the cell for a few minutes.

He did things at his own pace, that was all. He'd greet Ben when he was damn ready, and no sooner. Smiling for a split second, he threw his cigarette aside and put his hands in his pockets, walking towards his bed.

Kingston shrugged, and McDonagh began to make his way up to the top bunk.

Ben stood up once he saw Hullahaz moving towards him, edging closer to his ladder to the top bunk. The others didn't seem perturbed by the situation, so he didn't think too much of it.

He seemed to smile again as he watched Ben move away, but not out of glee or malice, just as a reflex. He lay down on his bed and kicked his shoes off, displaying sharpened nails that the officers really should have noticed.

All at once, Kingston sprang up. "Fuck, the laundry!"

Ben watched as Hullahaz laid down in bed, just barely picking up on the smile that the other man was giving him, making him blush a little bit and smile ever so slightly in return. Looking away, he turned around and climbed up his bunk, lying down on his stomach with his chin on his pillow. The sudden outburst from Kingston made him jump a bit, and he lifted his head up to look down at the man standing beside his bed.

"You forgot about it?"

"I sure fuckin' did, _shit_ , they've probably taken it by now, god dammit... McDonagh, let's go. Come with me, I might have to fight someone to get it back."

"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm trying to recover here," he replied curtly, but upon inspecting the expression on the dreaded man's face, he sighed and climbed down. "You owe me."

Ben giggled as he watched them wander off, realizing he was once again alone in the cell with Hullahaz. He didn't say anything though, only laid there wondering if the other man would talk first.

He was silent for quite some time, simply flipping the pages of his book and coughing occasionally. Eventually, though, he did make a comment- albeit a small one.

"Seems you're makin' friends."

"Like who? These guys?" Ben left Roger out for now, unsure of how much Hullahaz knew about his relationship with the other man.

"Mm," he replied. Perhaps it was his way of saying he thought this was a good thing. It was hard to tell.

"Well, if I'm gonna be living with them, I might as well get along. Of course, I wouldn't want to get on anyone's bad side anyway. Wouldn't be able to defend myself." He finished up his response with a soft laugh.

"If you keep at it with those weights you'll be able to defend yourself just fine," he replied calmly, turning the page of his book. He then decided to add something. "Along with that shank you're thinkin' of makin'."

Ben froze up and remembered McDonagh's warning about letting Hullahaz know about the shank he wanted.

"W-well... at least for now it seemed... like a good idea...."

"It is a good idea. I'm not tryin' to discourage you. Just know..." He closed his book as well as his eyes. "I won't give you a second chance if you try usin' it on me."

Perhaps now would be a good time to show him he had no intention of being antagonistic?

Ben gasped.

"I-it was never for you! I honestly don't feel.... that concerned about being around you or the others. I mean, so long as we get along, ya know?" He wasn't too sure of how he was coming across there.

"It's for... other people here. I can trust you guys... to some extent, but I barely trust anyone else. If someone out there cornered me or something, a shank would at least help me buy some time for myself. That's all."

Hullahaz sat up and moved over to the edge of his bed, looking up at the young man on the top bunk. "Good, don't put your trust outside these walls. But don't trust us too much, either. And with all the rumors goin' around about me goin' soft, I'd say I'm your number one concern."

Taking a deep breath, he continued. "But I won't stand for you shankin' me, so I'm not gonna provoke you."

Ben turned to face Hullahaz a bit better. "And I'm trying to keep my mouth shut. I... didn't mean to say what I did the other night down at dinner. I think I was still a bit terrified of you at the time, and then... well, I guess I was relieved." He quickly moved on from that.

"I'd say now I respect you, in the same way you should respect a lion or a bear. Aka, don't be stupid and piss it off, just give it the space it needs and everything is cool. Except you're a human so I can interact with you without you trying to kill me from the start, haha..."

Balancing on the edge of the bed, he pushed himself up to be at eye-level with Ben, reaching a hand out to trace the bite mark he'd left on the younger male with just the tip of his finger.

"Don't let people know you're no longer afraid of me," he whispered, and it came as mostly a warning. If he was exposed as having gone soft _without_ making his move first, he'd plummet in ranks. Then even if he did choose to claim Ben, it would have barely any effect.

Ben let his mouth hang open just a bit when Hullahaz touched him.

"I won't. I'll do everything I can to make sure I don't. I can even exaggerate the things you do, like those bites." A slight smirk crossed his face. "I could say they _still hurt_."

"Do you _want_ them to hurt?" He continued in that same whisper, not batting an eyelash as he continued to stare into Ben's eyes. Whether it was a flirt or a threat was only slightly unclear. "Because that would be easy."

Ben couldn't break his gaze with Hullahaz, and he licked the inside of his lips nervously, trying to think of a response. It seemed all he could say was, "Only if it went along with a good memory."

"Nothing in here's a good memory," he murmured, letting his fingertip linger on Ben's neck before he began to slide away back down into his bunk. Now _he_ was being the tease, it seemed.

Ben sighed, eyes drooping a bit as he watched his cellmate move back down. Crawling over the edge of his bunk, he curled down a bit to look at Hullahaz.

"Well, some memories are better than others, I'm _sure_."

"Yeah, like gettin' your arm bandaged by your boytoy or havin' a taste of liquor. Don't change the fact you're gonna be here for a long while surrounded by human garbage," he replied matter-of-factly, folding his arms behind his head.

"You get numb to it."

Ben cocked his head to the side. "Well, then all the better to make the most of the not-so-shitty moments, yeah? But I'm probably just a fool."

"Probably," he nodded, closing his eyes. He was probably the only inhabitant of the cell who had no problem closing his eyes in the presence of others. An excess of confidence.

Swinging his body around, Ben lowered himself to the floor and sat down cross-legged before leaning back on his hands and stretching a leg out in front of him. A soft chuckle came from him. "Yeah."

Opening one eye, Hullahaz looked down at Ben, simply sitting there, feeling safe for what was probably the first time in his life, and he found himself holding his half-stare for quite some time before closing his eye again and moving his head back, a smile on his lips that he barely bothered to conceal.

Ben looked up at him expectantly, but soon realized he had finished talking, and with a smile of his own, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back, enjoying the moment. Nothing aggressive happening between them, just peaceful silence.

Well, aside from the general ambience of the prison.

The door slowly swung open, and Kingston nearly tripped over Ben as he brought the basket of clean clothes inside. "Oh- hey, chair not comfy enough?"

McDonagh chuckled and teased. "No, seems he's taken a liking to the floor."

Kingston's cheeks went pink as he placed the basket on the chair.

Ben stood up to get out of their way and climbed back up onto his bunk, sitting with his legs hanging down while he rested his arms on them, supporting his head.

"You get everything alright?"

"Yeah, there was a bit of confusion with one of the cells across the hall, but it's fine now. Your towel's in there- or at least I'm sure it's yours."

McDonagh's stomach growled, and he rubbed at his wounded arms. "Fuck's sake, what's for dinner again tonight?"

"Meatballs?"

Ben leaned down and saw his towel in the mix, sighing in relief. He wasn't too hungry yet, and wasn't sure if he wanted to go to dinner, but he figured he could at least say hi to Roger and grab a snack.

As if somehow reading his mind, Hullahaz spoke up. "I won't go. Cigarette suppressed my appetite. If the guards ask..."

He opened his eyes to look over at Kingston. "I felt like I'd be a threat to the community."

The blond nodded.

Ben nodded at Hullahaz as he walked out with the other men, heading down to the cafeteria. The "snack" options for the evening were pretty slim, and Ben settled on a bread roll. Taking a water, he scanned around the room looking for his friend.

Roger was nowhere to be seen. A shame, as he'd probably love to have some meatballs, but an extensive scan of the room showed no sign of him. Hopefully he was alright.

McDonagh and Kingston actually shot glances at Ben, quietly offering him to sit beside them. It was odd, but he was growing on them. Perhaps the blowjob had helped.

Ben felt a bit saddened by Roger's disappearance, hoping he was well, but seeing his cellmates invite him to sit with them was nice, and he wouldn't have to sit alone uncomfortably. It was one thing to not have a table to sit at in high school, but entirely another in prison, naturally.

Climbing into a seat beside McDonagh, Ben began nibbling on his roll, not really speaking.

None of them really said much of anything, with McDonagh being too busy shoveling food into his mouth and Kingston lost in thought about perhaps volunteering in the kitchen someday.

Fortunately, no one asked them about Hullahaz, but Roger's cellmates (who Ben did not yet know) were giving them odd looks.

Ben ate about half of his roll before giving up. Eating simply took up too much energy. He felt the burning sensation of eyes on his back, but when he turned around he couldn't really see who was looking at him, and he groaned, looking forward to going back to his cell.

"You head on back," Kingston urged, rubbing the back of his neck. "I need to help out with the dishes and..."

McDonagh sighed, finishing Ben's roll for him. "Need to see the nurse. Officer Lugnut is pissed. I'll go give the old crone a good time..."

Ben nodded and got up from the table, quickly heading up to his cell while glancing about for more sign of who he felt was looking at him. Once he got up there, he let himself in and stepped in, taking a deep breath before moving forward towards the ladder of his bed.

Hullahaz was considerably more undressed than he'd been when they'd left, but as soon as the door opened he seemed to instinctively put his arms up to himself. However, he relaxed them after a moment, going back to fiddling with what appeared to be a Rubik's cube.

Ben did his best to avoid looking at Hullahaz, remembering how flustered he got the last time he saw him that undressed. Climbing up to his bunk, he stretched out, putting his arms under his head when he was done, and yawning widely. His third day had felt a lot longer than it was.

"Goin' to bed already?" Hullahaz asked quietly, the soft clicking of his cube the only sound to accompany his quiet voice. It was only nine, according to the clock.

Things were odd when it was just the two of them, he noticed. He was never sure if the atmosphere would be serene or tense.

Ben opened his eyes.

"Eh, maybe. There's not much I can think to do I guess." Rolling onto his side, he peered over the edge of the bed. "I mean, I'm open to suggestions, not that you have to feel compelled to give any." His hair hung down beside his face as he leaned a little further over, watching Hullahaz fiddle with the cube.

"You could try and solve this," he answered with a straight face, though his tone seemed to be joking. "Or you could borrow McDonagh's deck. There's shit to do in here, you just need to be flexible."

His eyes wandered away from his cube to meet Ben's yet again; what was often used as an intimidation tactic was becoming more and more common between them.

Ben smiled a bit. "Flexible how? You mean creative, or something else? Honestly, I'm just more afraid to go rummaging through other's things."

"You get allowance soon, right? You can buy your own deck then." Setting his cube aside, Hullahaz began to sit up, his uniform sliding off his shoulders.

"What double meaning do you keep givin' my presence?"

Ben bit his lip and stifled a sigh when he watched Hullahaz sit up. Slowly tilting his head to the side, he let his hair fall over his face again.

"Sorry, guess it's habit for me." He wasn't _entirely_ apologetic.

"You could put that habit to good use. Somethin' tells me you already did with Kingston," he commented, idly flicking his nipple ring.

"Don't go 'round tellin' people I give you advice, either. As I said, I'm just sick of the same scenario again and again and again..."

"Well, I was the one who offered. He was pretty easy to entice, anyway, but he _was_ the one who wanted me badly enough to climb on top of _your_ bed the other night, so go figure." It was hard to look away from what Hullahaz was doing.

"Hey, if anyone notices that I learned anything, I never heard it from you, sound good?"

"He got what was comin' to him for that, yeah. Hopefully he won't be enough of an idiot to let it happen again." His voice had dropped to a growl, and he nodded slowly as he looked into Ben's eyes still.

"I confide in you an awful lot, new boy. I should have you run errands for me so you can earn my trust..."

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. "W-what kind of errands?" He'd been on a roll with Hullahaz and now he was realizing he might have walked himself into a deal he didn't realize he'd have to make. But if it meant getting protection from _him_ , well, he'd do whatever he had to.

"You know, makin' sure the contraband gets to everybody. I didn't even set up the business... Shit just lands in my hands." He smirked and ran a hand through his hair before adopting his neutral expression again. "Unless you can think of an alternative."

Ben gripped the bed more tightly. "I'll be honest, I haven't ever... been involved in a drug ring? I'm not too sure I'm... the best person for that."

_Oh god, WHY am I saying this??_

"Just, what would I need to do? What kind of 'alternative' are you talking about?" His utter lack of experience in the criminal world outside of prostitution was _painfully_ exposed.

"It's not all drugs, it's sometimes shit you can't get at the store..." Running a hand down his face, he sighed. "Why am I even botherin'? It's useless. You just do you and I'll do me and people can think what they like. I'm not used to playin' nice."

Getting up off the bed, he headed over to the window to rest his hands on the ledge, looking outside.

Ben pushed back up and sat down on his mattress. "Well, I think drugs specifically were what first came to mind. Other things are fine." He paused for a moment. "You're talking about cigarettes, right? I mean, not only, but I'm sure that's one of em.

"And if I... used my skills to get them for you, would that count as 'running an errand?'"

Hullahaz looked over his shoulder, smirking again. "You'd wanna put your life in danger to just get me cigarettes, huh? Noble."

He shook his head. "Nah, forget I said anythin', it would be too dangerous. You wouldn't last the week, and we'd be back at square one."

Ben leaned forward and placed his hands on the back edge of his bed, looking down at him on all fours (he subconsciously kept his back arched up a little bit).

"Well, is there _something_ I can do for you so you consider us 'even?' Any other ideas?" He was shamelessly suggesting one, but was in fact open to suggestions.

Whipping around to look at him, Hullahaz observed Ben's posture and narrowed his eyes. "You think I'm easy, do you? You think I'll just roll onto my back if you suck me off..."

His tone was deliberately sensual, yet another attempt to twist the situation so he was still on top. "Either that, or you wanna become my wife."

Ben snickered. "No, I don't think you're easy. And I'm not trying to use my charms to get you to do anything I want. I'd rather just offer you something you might like as a way to repay you for helping me out. And if it keeps the cell happy, all the better, right?"

He spread his arms out a bit and leaned forward. "I'm just being up front. I won't trick you into thinking I just want sex when literally _anyone else_ in this prison would give it to me without a second thought. Of course I'd like something like protection out of it, who wouldn't? But I'm not trying to be selfish. I _could_ be your wife, if you want. Just tell me what you want out of it."

"Honestly?" Hullahaz leaned against the wall, arms crossed. "All I want- all I've ever wanted- is to be left alone. To live out my sentence in peace. To smoke a cigarette or two every day and sleep for as long as I want. Havin' people fear me is a huge help."

Cracking his neck, he continued. "I could have anyone I wanted in this prison, but I've never given anyone a chance. They've tried, trust me, and it's been fun as fuck to see them fail. If you wanna give it a try yourself, though, go ahead. Show me why I should claim you."

Smirking anew, he added, " _Without_ touchin' me."

Ben closed his eyes slowly for a moment, swallowing and thinking through his next move. He opened them and slid forward off the edge of the bed, landing in a squat that quickly turned to him on his all fours. Slinking forward, he kept his eyes trained on Hullahaz's and got down closer to his feet before leaning back on his legs to sit up and face him. Moving his hands from the floor up his legs, then to his sides, Ben grasped the edges of his tank top and gradually tugged it up to just below his nipples, leaving it there as he turned his head to the side, casting a much more sensual look up at him.

Hullahaz raised an eyebrow and tilted his head to one side, as if to say 'good, but you'll have to do better.' The corner of his mouth seemed to be tugging into a smile, though, so that was a start.

With a small wink, Ben flipped over gracefully, presenting his backside to Hullahaz. With his tank top pulled up and pants edging down a bit, the curve of small stars across the back of his hips was out on display, and bending forward, Ben slid his hands across the floor, arching up his back and pushing his ass up. He slid his legs a little further apart and looked back at the other man, biting his lip and lowering his chest all the way down to the floor, showing off the curve in his flexible body.

Admittedly, if Hullahaz ever wanted to do something with somebody, this would be the ideal position for them to be in. He could appreciate a man with tattoos, too, of course- the location was common in the trade, but stars were far nicer than Kingston's assortment of bullshit.

He bent over slightly, enjoying the feeling of towering over Ben without touching him at all, and although he was incredibly good at keeping his cool, he could feel tiny tingles run through him.

But of course, at that very moment, Kingston walked in.

"Hell of a dish pile, let me tell you, Je- _oh_."

Ben looked forward and buried his burning face in his arms, eyes open wide in shock. _Oh god_.

Having nowhere else to go, Kingston merely shook his hands about a bit and stuttered. "I'll. I'll, be lying in bed, an-"

"When's McDonagh returning?" Hullahaz asked calmly.

"I... I don't know, he's at the infirmary, but... probably not long."

Hullahaz nodded and tugged a bit on Ben's uniform to get him to stand up. "Good try, but no."

Ben sighed audibly and stood up, climbing onto his bed quickly and turning to face the wall. He had fallen flat, just when things were going well, and now he knew he'd lost his chance. He was utterly _screwed_ , pretty soon in every way.

Kingston, feeling a lot like a tool, decided to lay down after brushing his teeth, unable to even read the trashy romance novel he'd begun the day before. He just wanted to sleep and forget he'd interrupted something important.

Hullahaz settled down on his bed again and clicked around with his cube until McDonagh had returned, looking sedated and quite a bit paler than he'd left. He climbed into his bed without a word and curled up.

Ben hadn't fallen asleep of course, but rather lied in bed staring at the wall and beating himself up over earlier's events. He felt a bit panicky, sick to his stomach over dealing with the fallout.

It was around two in the morning, when the other side of the room was well and truly asleep, that Hullahaz sat up and extended his arm, prodding the mattress above him a few times.

Ben was drowsy, but not asleep, and the prodding woke him up a bit. Lazily pulling himself over to the edge of the bed, he looked down, blinking the sleep from his eyes as he glanced down at Hullahaz.

He gestured for him to come down, but realizing that they were in the dark, he murmured "C'mere." He hoped he wouldn't be making a mistake in what he was doing.

Ben moved back and yawned, rubbing his eyes, before quietly climbing down off his bunk. Walking over to the edge of Hullahaz's bed, he tilted his head a bit and spoke softly. "Yeah?"

At this distance he could probably tell that Hullahaz had unzipped his uniform entirely, and was sporting quite a handsome erection, which he was idly stroking. The dim light coming from the hall reflected on the piercings he had running up the underside of his shaft. "Changed my mind."

Ben's eyes opened wide, and he softly gasped as he smiled. Moving his hands to the waist of his pants, he tugged them down a bit, looking up at him for approval.

The tattooed man nodded, holding out his free hand so Ben could take it once he was ready. No lube meant this would hurt quite a bit, but he was too horny to care too much. He wanted to make his move. "Consider this a test run."

Ben's heart rate picked up, and let his pants drop to the floor, putting his hand in Hullahaz's as he climbed on top of him. His tank top was riding up his chest, and he bit his lip, straddling the other man as he hovered above his cock. It hadn't taken much for Ben to get an erection too, and it throbbed as he anticipated taking his cellmate.

Hullahaz's hands slid down Ben's sides until they were on his hips, which he gripped firmly as he slowly rose his own, the tip of his cock pressing to Ben's ass. The less nervous the smaller man was, the better this would go. Inside, Hullahaz was fighting the urge to bring him down to his lips, but that was a secret he'd take to the grave.

Ben exhaled slowly, remembering the fantasy he'd had just the previous day, and he felt himself gripping into Hullahaz's shoulders with his fingers. He hoped it wasn't coming across as anxiety, as in fact it was the opposite. Resisting the urge to tell him to push in hard, he began automatically moving back down on him, gritting his teeth through the friction, but moaning softly as the piercings on his cock rubbed against his walls. His toes curled and his mouth hung open, and he closed his eyes, only biting his lip again after a few moments.

Hullahaz could tell how much Ben was enjoying the experience from merely a few inches of his cock, and it made him sigh in quiet delight. Giving him a few seconds to dig into his tattooed shoulders, he pushed down on Ben's hips and forced himself a few more inches inside. He exhaled slowly, hands remaining where they were as his hips continued to press up. What a pretty sight... He'd gone a long time without nailing anyone. He'd relish this.

A more audible "aah" came from Ben reflexively, and he bit his lip again harder, trying to stifle it. This wouldn't work though, so he moved one of his hands to his mouth and tightly clasped his lips. Exhaling hard through his nose, Ben sat down further on him, his eyes rolling back a bit. As nice as this felt though, the thrusting would start, and _that_ would feel significantly less pleasurable. But Ben was determined to nail this, and considering just how _nice_ Hullahaz's cock felt, he knew he wanted to feel more of it.

He knew that eventually he'd need to get lube; he wanted sex with the tattooed man but without any of the friction, even if he'd have to wait for it.

Hullahaz was turned on by the fact his partner was trying to keep quiet, and this could be noticed by the sudden curving of his cock, which couldn't possibly get any harder. Those _lewd_ faces of Ben's... He wanted to fuck him into oblivion. But he'd wait. He'd always wait.

It wasn't like it felt very nice for him to go dry, either... Tomorrow he'd look into buying lube with his allowance. They were bound to have **something**. Pushing himself in further slowly, he let out the softest grunt before letting his back relax, his hips lowering and bringing Ben down with him. His fingers tapped against Ben's hips, waiting for him to start moving.

Ben panted softly behind his hand, looking down at Hullahaz and trying not to blush a bit. He started rocking his hips slowly at first, getting used to the sensation without any lube, before gradually increasing the pace. It was admittedly a bit painful, but Ben tried to view the pain as part of the joys of prison sex. Illicit, dirty, and rough.

Having not had proper sex since he got here, and not being one to relieve himself often, Hullahaz had been building up quite the sperm quantity. Still, he'd hold his own and cum only when he was ready to, so there was no issue there. Hands pressing further against Ben's hips, he began to add slow thrusts of his own whenever he figured Ben might need a little help. His piercings rubbed up against the other's walls, and the way they tugged on his skin made him shudder. Another quiet grunt escaped him, and he slowly looked to the side to see if they were being watched.

Ben breathed heavily, blinking slowly, when he noticed Hullahaz looking to the side. He panicked a bit and stopped moving, but didn't see anyone watching them, and carefully he continued riding. They made very little sound on the prison bed, a fact that Ben was proud of, since he'd almost perfected the art of quiet sex (plenty of clients he'd had met with him secretively), but his attraction to his cell mate, along with the lack of lube, was the reason for him being more audible.

Hullahaz protested (through body language) at the fact Ben had stopped moving, and he gave him an extra hard thrust. Fortunately, Ben's movements began soon enough, and he was able to relax again, training his eyes entirely on Ben's face. Most inmates he saw fucking had their eyes closed, as if they were pretending to be with someone else.

Not him.

Ben looked down into Hullahaz's eyes and held his gaze for a moment before lowering his head to focus on rocking his hips. Leaning forward, he lowered his hand to the bed beside his partner (moving the other one to the side as well). All of his focus was now going to riding Hullahaz, and feeling his own cock twitch, he knew he would wind up cumming soon.

His breath became shallower and he groaned softly through the friction, but overall it didn't feel as bad as he worried it would before arriving at prison.

They were so close now... Hullahaz almost looked away. A small part of him wanted to be kind and tender, another wanted to be ruthless... He settled for neutral, pretending this barely fazed him, when in fact inside he was burning.

The way Ben was working his cock, he knew he wouldn't have to hold out much longer. Giving a few more powerful thrusts, his nails pressed slightly into his cell mate's soft skin, balls starting to feel awfully tight.

Ben felt his orgasm coming up faster than he realized and sliding one hand forward to stabilize himself, he quickly moved his other to the tip of his cock and cupped it as he came.

He figured it was safer to not make a mess all over the man he was trying to win over, though a little bit dribbled down through his fingers. With his last bit of energy, Ben pushed down hard on Hullahaz's cock, hoping he would cum.

His eyes glinted as he saw Ben's orgasm, fluid seeping through his fingers and landing on his torso in little warm droplets. He figured he had nothing to lose and, putting an arm up to bring Ben's head down to his own, he pressed their foreheads together and thrust one last time as _deeply_ as he could, jet after jet of cum filling his cellmate's ass as he panted and groaned quietly.

He held Ben to him until every last drop had left his balls, at which point he moved his hands to Ben's asscheeks to start pulling him up off him.

Ben was still lying forward, shakily supporting himself above Hullahaz with one hand. The forehead touch had taken him completely by surprise, and he was blushing again, their lips only inches away. He wouldn't dare kiss him, even if the temptation was there, knowing full well it would backfire on him. Feeling the other inmate pulling out of him, he collapsed his chest on Hullahaz's and turned his head to the side, allowing him to slide out completely as he moved forward a bit.

Using what little energy he had left, he pushed off of him again onto his all fours, arching up his back so he wouldn't make a bigger mess.

"S-should I go clean up?" He asked softly.

"Hang on, I wanna see how long you can hold it in," he replied breathlessly, slowly zipping his uniform up after giving his cock a wipe with a nearby tissue.

Although he wouldn't give a spoken verdict tonight, tomorrow he'd announce his decision to the entire cell- and by proxy the entire prison.

Being so close to Ben had made his heart rate increase at the same time his breathing had, but he was able to calm himself quickly. He'd missed sex... And now he might be able to get it whenever he wanted.

The mess in Ben's hand was leaking out, and he squeezed his fingers together as tightly as possible. He also kept his hips tilted so almost nothing leaked out, but he knew once he stood up that it would be a race to get to the toilet so he wouldn't make a mess on the floor. Explaining _that_ to the other men would be humiliating.

Ben bit his lip as he waited for Hullahaz to tell him if he could go clean up or not, the strength in his arm deteriorating as he held himself up.

He nodded and jerked his head towards the door, telling him to leave. He couldn't even go to the bathroom without supervision, as the beeper around his ankle would go off, or else he might offer some assistance.

"Be quick, it's late."

He wanted to get some sleep, and he knew Ben would too- probably more, in fact. Still, how fun would it be to tell him to lick his dick clean?

Ben cringed a bit.

".....could you take me to the bathroom? Sorry I shouldn't even be asking... Unless you want me to deal with this in the sink where we brush out teeth."

Hullahaz narrowed his eyes at first before sitting up slowly. "What, like in my arms? Over my shoulder? _You_ decided you're my wife then?"

Despite his show of power, he was moving towards the edge of the bed.

"Probably in your arms, keep me tilted up." Ben stayed on his all fours, waiting to be picked up. "Hope that's alright."

He growled and yanked Ben off the bed, carrying him effortlessly in his arms. He struggled to open the cell door, and practically sped down the hall once he'd managed it. The alarm surely will have gone off in the office.

Ben held him tightly as they headed to the bathroom, climbing down and doing everything he had to once they were in there. If he needed to clean up more, he could do it back in the cell.

"Might want to carry me back, since I'm shorter." He bit his lip nervously.

Hullahaz narrowed his eyes dangerously again, and he was about to object when he heard footsteps running down the hall. Grabbing Ben again, he kicked the door open and made his way back to their cell.

"You can run, you know. I'm just doin' this 'cause I have no time to argue."

Ben snorted to himself. It was true, he could run, but he'd also be running without pants on, and being carried was much preferred.

Once they arrived back in the cell, he grabbed his pants and climbed up his bunk, nervous about the noises that had been following them.

Hullahaz groaned and stretched before rolling onto his bed, putting his arms behind his head as guards burst into the room, causing both Kingston and McDonagh to jump up.

"Where the fuck is- _Oh_... " The cops exchanged odd looks as Hullahaz clicked his tongue.

"Can't even go take a shit without you people showin' up."

McDonagh nearly threw a pillow at the cops, but settled for growling. They murmured an apology and headed out, one of them yawning.

Ben had pulled his blankets up over himself and kept his head low as he watched the guards come and go. He exhaled, relieved, and waited until they had gone before he pulled on his clothes, curling up on his bed.

Tomorrow he would certainly be sore, but it would all be for the best. Hopefully.

As the other side of the room resumed sleep, Hullahaz remained awake. It seemed he didn't sleep all night- or perhaps he did, merely with his eyes open.

He zoned out considerably, though, wondering if he'd made the right move.


	5. Claimed

Several hours later, Ben woke up, groggy and still feeling the events from last night. He rolled around on his bed a bit, trying to wake himself up, and eventually sat up, rubbing his eyes. Looking around, he wondered if the other men had been disturbed at all by the rude awakening they had.

"God dammit, this is why you're meant to take a shit _before_ lights out," Kingston whined, stretching his arms out as McDonagh cracked his knuckles, ready to punch the first person who looked at him funny. "I was in the middle of such a good dream."

"Yeah, next time just shit in the sink, Hullahaz," the redhead added bitterly.

Ben got down low once he heard them talking, his face going a bit red.

"What was that wake up all about?" Yawning, he hoped his lie was convincing.

Hullahaz seemed to shoot Ben a glare, but his eyes seemed merely... tired. He sighed and shook his head slowly.

"Skeleton buddy over here decided it would be a brilliant idea to go party in the bathroom at what. Three in the morning?" McDonagh waved his good arm about.

"He's set to trip an alarm whenever he leaves the cell without an escort," Kingston clarified.

Ben frowned. "Oh." Carefully climbing down the ladder, he rubbed his eyes and leaned back against the bed, waiting to go to breakfast.

Grumbling, Kingston left the room, muttering about how much coffee he'd need to stay alive today. McDonagh followed, stating he was grateful today was another shower day, as his arm was caked in blood.

Hullahaz nearly moved to stand, but he stared at Ben for a second.

Ben was about to head out of the cell, but he looked back at Hullahaz, who seemed to be staring at him.

"I, uh, wasn't sure if I should cover for anything. It's why I lied to them." He shrugged a bit, waiting to see if he would reply.

Snorting, he smiled for a split second before reaching out to Ben and pulling him down for just a moment- enough to sink his teeth into his neck again. Although the movement was abrupt, it once again wasn't hard enough to break skin.

He let go and walked out of the cell without looking back.

A small gasp escaped Ben as he was grabbed, but this time, the bite he was given didn't frighten him. Instead it felt more like a bite of _possession_ , a way to subdue him as a pet, in a way.

The moment was brief, and Ben was left standing there, thinking about it. Had he been claimed? It sure seemed to point that way.

With a smirk on his face, he headed down to breakfast, snickering to himself.

It was, at the very least, Hullahaz's way of showing he'd reached a conclusion. He knew the moment it went public, the prison would blow up, but he wanted to make clear that sex was on the table.

As well as, potentially, communication.

And, of course, protection.

Just as long as Ben was willing to spread his cheeks at his command, there would be nothing the smaller man would have to worry about.

As Ben walked into the cafeteria, he exuded pride. Of everyone in the whole prison, he'd managed to get _Hullahaz_ to pick _him_ , and he couldn't help but show off the bite marks on his neck as he grabbed some doughnuts. Glancing around the room, he hoped to see Roger, especially to deliver the good news.

People gasped and began to murmur, starting their own theories. But since he shared a cell with two other men, the general consensus was 'it could have been anyone'. Hullahaz knew this, so he'd be claiming him properly later in the day... Right now he was instructing someone to buy him some lube.

Ben didn't see Roger so he sat down at an empty table and began eating his breakfast. He hoped he was okay.

He appeared shortly thereafter, looking _terrible_. Battered, bruised and very, very tired. Some people actually inched away from him, in case he needed his space.

Ben spotted Roger and stood up, heading over to him. His bruises caught his attention immediately.

"Jesus Christ dude, are you okay??"

"I'm... I'm fine." He closed his eyes and pushed past Ben to sit down with his cup of coffee. He didn't look like he was in the right mood to talk much.

"I'll be fine."

Ben decided against telling him about Hullahaz, since it didn't seem like giving him that kind of news would make him feel any better. Thoughtfully pushing a doughnut over to him, he gave his friend a sympathetic smile.

Roger took the doughnut with a shaky hand, offering Ben a small smile in return. He looked about ready to pass out. "Will you... Go to art today..."

Ben nodded. "Of course! I haven't been yet and assembly isn't running today anyway."

Roger nodded softly. "That's... That's gonna be great." He knew he couldn't drag this on much longer, but he didn't want to do it yet. He wanted to pretend things would be normal...

The smile on Ben's face grew a bit. "Do we draw, or paint, or are there lessons, or what? It's honestly been so long since I did any art."

"There are suggested topics to draw every week, and we have access to acrylics and oils and the works... But only in the room, of course." He nibbled on his doughnut with a little smile.

"Huh.... Well, I'll do my best then. Never really knew much about painting." Taking a sip of juice, he could feel himself getting full.

"It's more of a means of stress relief than anything else. I... Well, I admire the prison staff's attempts, at least." He closed his eyes and folded his arms, resting his head against them.

"Makes sense." Ben picked up his mess and began carrying it to the garbage. "I'll see you then?"

"Yeah... I'll see you after lunch," he smiled wearily, making his mind up to go hide at the greenhouse for a while.

Ben headed back up to his cell to take a small nap; last night wasn't really a full night of sleep, and he still hadn't really woken up.

McDonagh was bandaging his fingers up in order to play basketball later, and Kingston was off running laps. Hullahaz appeared to also be napping, his head facing the wall.

Ben waved to McDonagh as he entered, quietly climbing up the ladder to his bunk. He fluffed his pillow and face planted down in it, holding onto the tired feeling he got from being full, as he drifted off to his nap.

McDonagh left a few minutes after, and Kingston showed up about half an hour before lunch. He was _still_ working on reading his trashy novel, and he kept trying to engage in conversation with a still-sleeping Hullahaz.

Ben grumbled as he heard Kingston talking, which disrupted his near-sleeping state. Rolling over, he eyed the other inmate. "Do you have to talk to him right now? Is he even listening?" Perhaps he was being a bit rude, but, again, being woken up always had a way of pissing him off more so than anything else.

At this rate, he wouldn't get a nap in at all before art.

Kingston closed his book with a mild huff, looking up at Ben. "He's making eye contact with me! A-and besides, it's only ten minutes until lunch... Are you gonna skip again or what?"

Hullahaz leaned over the edge of his bed a bit and looked up. "He didn't get 'nough sleep last night. The disruption musta bothered him."

"And whose fault is that?" Kingston replied without thinking, quickly putting his book to his face.

Ben sighed, sitting up. "No, I'm not gonna skip. And don't worry about it, honestly." As much as he wanted to try and get back to sleep, he worried about Roger and hoped to see him at lunch. Especially since he could show him where the art class was meeting. With a quick stretch, he began climbing down the ladder of his bunk.

Kingston huffed as he left the room, with Hullahaz just giving him a mild nod.

When lunch reared its ugly head, Roger looked a tiny bit better. He'd been outside all day, and the fresh air had done him good.

He seemed happier to see Ben.

Ben only grabbed a sandwich for lunch, not wanting to feel too full before his first activity. Sitting beside Roger he nudged him gently and supportively.

"I'm looking forward to art today, how about you?"

"Yeah, definitely," Roger replied with a smile, holding up his own sandwich with a small smile. Sandwiches were always far better than the hot meals at lunch.

Honestly, the moment an inmate actually stepped up and began to cook, things would be much better.

"Maybe today I'll finally finish a painting..."

Ben tilted his head a bit. "How come you haven't finished one?" Taking a bite, he waited for a response.

"I keep starting new ones," he laughed. "It's like... Impulsive. I get a new idea halfway through a painting and start on it, and so on and so forth..."

"Aw, well I know how that can be. How about this, you show me all of your paintings so far, and then you can choose one you want to finish today?" Ben hoped maybe he could help his friend out.

Roger seemed to blush under the sickly paleness (and bruises) on his face, and he nodded softly. This got worse by the day. "They're- they're not that good, but... Yeah, I think I could use your help picking one out."

"Sounds good to me." He stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth (finishing up a meal for the first time since he'd arrived), and threw away some of his trash, waiting for Roger to show him to the activity building.

Roger just about took his hand (to try and get rid of those feelings of guilt, goddammit) and guided him all the way to the little interconnected building where the recreational facilities were held. He walked down the hall and entered the second door to the left, revealing a large room with several easels and chairs, as well as a few long tables. "Home, sweet home."

Ben tried to take in the route as quickly as possible so he'd be able to find his way there in the event Roger wasn't around, realizing the route wouldn't be too hard to remember.

Glancing around the room, he smiled, almost feeling some essence of his sister joining him. Perhaps he'd paint a flower; she was always drawing flowers on her old homework.

"So... where should I set up?"

"Over here," he gestured towards an easel closer to the window. "It's unoccupied, though I don't know why. It's one of the nicest spots... Maybe the sun gets in your eyes, I dunno."

He headed over to the back of the room, where there was a large closet containing people's work, as well as canvases and supplies. He tried hauling out his paintings, but it was a bit difficult. "Maybe... Maybe I'll just choose between two today."

Ben hurried over to help out Roger with carrying out his art pieces. From what he could see, he liked them, and it made him that much more excited to do his own.

"So can we start before the instructor gets here?"

"I don't see why not," he replied quietly, holding a painting that seemed to be the beginnings of the night sky. "Head start is always good."

Not that it had worked out for him! Five unfinished paintings...

Ben admired the night sky painting and pointed it out to him.

"Why not this one? I'd love to see how it turns out." He had a smile on his face as he began searching for a piece of paper and some paints.

"Oh... Yeah! That sounds like a good idea. I already have the basics done, so... I think I should dedicate today to refining it, you're right." He smiled and brought it over to his easel.

"Sometimes it's hard to paint with shaky hands, but I get by." He grinned. "I think they brought gold paint in this week."

"Oooh, gold paint! I'll have to try it out on whatever I wind up doing."

It didn't take long for Ben to get set up, and after grabbing a pencil, started sketching out his idea. Very quickly he realized he was absolutely rusty with anything art-related, but pushed on until he had a rough sketch of a tulip. His eyes glanced back at a small pile of books on a cubby, and walking over, he realized they were various art books, and within one he managed to find a section on flowers, which he brought back over to his easel.

"Maybe I should add more flowers, what do you think?" Ben was already editing his original design, using a reference from a tulip in the book.

Roger quietly worked on his painting, trying to steady his hands as he finished his night sky, cradling what seemed to be a little pot of silver paint in his lap. This was the one good thing he had in prison, he thought. These moments of silence. Of peace.

Slowly the room began to be filled with other inmates looking to paint, but he barely noticed at all.

Turning to face Ben as he was asked for advice, he gave a soft nod. "Smaller ones, though. Like, framing the bigger one."

Ben nodded, turning back to face his paper. Aiming for a bit of symmetry, he began drawing in a few roses on either side, then some lilies, and other flowers until they surrounded the central tulip like a floral halo. Pleased with his initial sketch, he grabbed a few spare sheets of printer paper and started sampling colors out, hoping to keep a bit of consistency throughout the piece by using primarily reds and pinks. Green accents would help as well, and he could add specks of gold to the petals if he really wanted to.

Periodically he glanced over at Roger's painting to see his progress, proud of him for committing to finishing a piece.

The instructor reminded them all softly to not hog paints and share with their fellow inmates, making a few people sigh and nod in disdain. Sharing sucked, dammit!

Roger looked over at Ben's painting and smiled, giving him a thumbs up. "It looks way more complete now."

Giving his painting a few more brushstrokes, he nodded and crossed his arms. "Mine does too." It wasn't finished yet, but a river had begun to take shape beneath the stars.

Ben grinned. “Definitely! I think it’ll look great once you’re done.”

The center tulip of his painting was where the brightest red went, and he laid down a foundation at first before adding more on top of it. Skipping over to paint some of the side flowers, he wanted to get the reds out of the way first so he wouldn’t be bouncing between red and green too much.

"I can't wait to see flowers again," Roger idly commented. "Real ones, I mean. In the wild. Just need to make it to the end of the year..."

When he was approached by another inmate (who was asking him for the silver paint), Roger nearly fell off his stool in fright. People laughed.

Ben frowned, handing the silver paint to the inmate and climbed off his stool to help Roger back up.

"You alright?"

"Yeah..." He replied meekly, not meeting Ben's eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Silently resuming his painting, he cast Ben a glance. "Thanks. You're a kind guy..."

Ben still felt extremely concerned about his friend but didn't want to ruin their time painting together with bringing anything up.

"Well, you were the first kind person to me here, so of course I'm gonna be kind back." Giving him a supportive smile, he pulled his easel a little bit closer and continued painting, looking back over at Roger every few seconds.

Roger felt a pang of guilt in his gut, his stomach twisting entirely, which he merely expressed with a slow exhale. With a half-smile, he turned and nodded at Ben.

His river was done by the time the activity was over.

Ben had managed to get down some of the basic colors for his piece, but he'd mull over what background he wanted until next time. Waiting for his paint to dry enough, he took his brushes over to the sink, washing them out and putting them away before heading back over to gather up his things. A quick glance over Roger's way allowed Ben to see his progress on the painting.

"Ooh, that looks really nice! You calling it finished or are you gonna add more to it?" He made conversation while packing up.

A hint of a blush seemed to heat up Roger's ears, and he nodded his head softly. "Thanks... I'm gonna add more to it next time, but the foundation is pretty much laid down. I- I really like your flowers, though."

Sure, it wasn't scenery or a portrait, but it was very good for one's first painting. He couldn't help but smile.

"They just feel right somehow."

Ben felt himself swell with pride, even if only a little bit. Hearing someone who had been painting far more than he had complimenting his work felt nice.

"Thanks. They remind me of someone... so I just drew what felt right to me."

Putting his painting away, he sighed, feeling a bit tired from being so creative.

“That's a good place to start."

Roger didn't seem to linger long, despite wanting to spend as much time in there as possible. He mumbled that he wanted to stop by the reading club to see if they were up to anything good.

"You can come by if you'd like... But I guess you want to go back to your, uh... Friends."

Ben did want to stick with Roger for a bit longer, but he wasn't sure if Hullahaz wanted him back around. "I would, but... well..." He gestured to his neck, the marks still there, although they had faded a bit.

"I'll catch you around later?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." He scratched at his arm and waved with a small smile. "Good luck subduing the beast."

Though he supposed Ben wouldn't need it.

Back at the cell, things were awkward and silent as usual.

Ben didn't make conversation upon returning, instead climbing up onto his bed to wait out the last little while before dinner. Part of him wanted to talk about his painting, but none of the other men talked about their time spent away from the cell at their activities, so he decided against it.

His thoughts turned to his outfit, and he sniffed the tank top he was wearing, cringing a bit.

_Ugh, I could really use a shower... and my uniform... guess I'll have to wait though._

Hullahaz flipped a towel over his shoulder and stood up without a word, before turning to Ben and looking him in the eye.

"I'm gonna go shower."

Kingston looked over at McDonagh in shock, and the redhead simply clicked his tongue and returned to his reading. Wonderful. Now he'd never get to taste the twink.

Ben remembered that he had protection from Hullahaz, and suddenly that shower he wanted didn't have to be so far away. A smile formed on his lips and he sat up.

"I'll join you." His towel was still over on one of the chairs, and he climbed off his bunk to grab it, gripping it nervously. This would be the first time that he was outside of the cell with Hullahaz, and he was sure all eyes would be on them.

A guard was waiting outside their cell as always, ready to handcuff Hullahaz until they reached the bathrooms. Once he was there, the rest was none of the guard's business.

Escorting them both to the showers, Hullahaz kept his eyes forward the entire time. It was, as usual, a show of pride and dominance over the situation.

He was not surprised to see people having sex in the shower, and he had nothing to say about it as he undressed.

Ben felt goosebumps form on his skin as he undressed, sticking somewhat close to Hullahaz, but not close enough to intrude on his personal space. It became increasingly difficult not to glance over at him, with his fully naked body finally in view (and not from ambient light outside their cell), and Ben took deep breaths to clear his mind of dirty thoughts.

He soaped himself up and rinsed off, still keeping his gaze away from Hullahaz, though before long he did wind up staring out of the corner of his eye.

The more Hullahaz looked at the couple having rough shower sex, the clearer it became to him what he had to do. Sure, he didn't have lube on him right now either, but maybe the water (or hell, soap) would do them some good. With a steady hand, he reached out and touched Ben's back.

A few people looked over, curious.

He locked eyes with Ben and applied a bit more force to his gesture.

Ben gasped, looking up at Hullahaz with a look of surprise, excitement, and fear. He knew he'd have to suppress the last part if he wanted to stay the man's prison wife, and arching up his back, he blushed. His eyes glanced around the shower room, and he saw that people were starting to _notice_.

This was truly it, the moment that would solidify his position in the prison hierarchy.

Turning his slight push into a shove, Hullahaz pinned Ben to the shower wall, casually bumping his palm against the hot water button as he towered over his wife- his _prey_ \- faces inches close yet without much contact. His body pressed firmly to Ben's, the underside row of cock piercings beginning to rub up against him thanks to his growing erection.

People gasped. The room became gradually silent, though awkward shuffles and running water added to the atmosphere.

Hullahaz leaned in and bit; yet this time it was Ben's ear.

Ben cringed as he pushed against the shower wall, though he didn't hit it too hard and wasn't in pain. His whole body shook a bit as he faced the wall, pressing his forehead to the tile, his own erection growing quickly. The idea of public sex was certainly in his mind (though really you could consider _any_ sex they had as "public"), but it didn't stop him from being nervous. Balling up his fists a bit, he squeezed his hands, bracing himself for what would come next.

And yet, the feeling of his cell mate pressing against him almost _calmed_ him, and he closed his eyes, slowly pushing his ass back against Hullahaz.

A hand trailing down between Ben's legs to stroke at his cock was a gesture pretty much unheard of, but Hullahaz set the rules, and nobody questioned him. His tongue snaked out to give Ben's ear a nearly obscene lick, and with his hand still on the younger man's back, he swung his hips backwards once, before ramming them forward.

He had to put on a show, after all.

His cock being wet certainly helped some, but the friction and impact was probably still quite painful. There would be time to think about that later, though. For now, he merely grunted and pushed as deeply into Ben as he could. Fuck, he felt just as good as the night before...

Ben moaned a bit as he felt Hullahaz's tongue on his ear, and his hand on his cock. Although he knew he could handle taking the thrusts in his ass, he hadn't had his cock played with by _anyone_ but himself in so long, and he hoped that his partner wouldn't be too rough on him for the sake of show.

As soon as he was thrust into, Ben yelped a bit, the sensation hurting a bit more than it did last night, and trying not to let the tears that reactively came from the pain slip out, he tucked up his arms a little bit closer beside his head. Hopefully things would feel better soon, since he _wanted_ to enjoy this, but he hadn't been physically prepared so it would take a little longer.

Hullahaz knew this, and deep down he felt sorry for it, but he'd set this train in motion and, in order for them both to be safe, he couldn't hit the brakes. Pulling out slowly to give Ben a second to breathe, he pushed himself back in with as much force as before, another grunt escaping him as his hand closed around Ben's cock, giving it a squeeze.

Some people began to move out, but most stood and stared, almost hypnotized by the intricate tattoo-work on the man who was (seemingly) mercilessly pounding the prostitute. With his hand sliding from Ben's back to his hip, he gradually increased the pace.

Although Ben knew that Hullahaz was being rough for a reason, there was almost a sense of care that he noticed had been displayed towards him ever since he'd arrived, and even though the man currently fucking him in the shower was a murderer, he'd somehow managed to always feel a bit _safe_ around him. And even now, he knew that Hullahaz wasn't trying to tear his ass apart, and that he'd be fine in the end. Or even if he wasn't, he couldn't show it.

The squeeze on his cock reassured him though, that he wasn't just hungrily fucking him.

Gritting his teeth, he let the water pour down over his back, making their skin glide smoothly as he felt his cell mate continue thrusting into him, holding him tightly.

Hullahaz fought the temptation to throw Ben to the floor and begin fucking him against the tiles, and this was reflected in how he gripped Ben's cock tighter, giving it rougher strokes as if he were getting himself off. His breathing became just a bit heavier, his lips parting as he panted near his wife's ear.

His eyes trailed to an inmate who was staring at them slackjawed, and he held eye contact as he sped up even further, the sounds of his thrusts echoing throughout the room.

Some men looked angry. _Good_.

Ben almost struggled to keep himself steady on the wet floor, a breathy moan coming out on each thrust. As much as he felt like a plaything, he quite enjoyed it, and being jerked off in the midst of this made it much more pleasant.

He would probably cum soon, and he was thankful for them being in the shower, since they could make a mess without having to rush to the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Ben's cock throbbed in Hullahaz's hand and he held his breath momentarily before gasping, cum landing on the wall and dripping down, as his eyes opened a bit and rolled back.

Hullahaz kept Ben steady as he reached his orgasm, yet he kept on pounding into him until he reached his own orgasm. This was made obvious by the shudder of his body and the long sigh that followed, a few spurts of cum landing on Ben's backside as he pulled out.

Pushing his hair out of his eyes, he slowly turned to the audience, now with just one hand on Ben. "I don't gotta say _shit_ , " he began, "but this one's mine now."

Ben panted, closing his eyes again, feeling the mess on his back, which would get rinsed off by the shower soon (but he could enjoy it for now). He was catching his breath as he stood there, forehead to the wall.

And yet it brought a smile to his face when he heard Hullahaz speak.

 _Fuck yes_.

Shaking his cock a bit, Hullahaz made his way over to his pile of clothes before stretching, looking around the room. Those who had remained grumbled and slowly made their exit.

It was then that he looked over at Ben.

"You held up."

Ben turned over and leaned back against the wall, still panting a bit. Slowly looking up at Hullahaz, he smiled a bit and replied, still a bit breathy.

"Well, anything for you, right? That's how I thought this worked." Pushing the hair out of his eyes, he chuckled softly and rinsed himself off before turning off the water and moving for his towel. He cringed a bit as he neared his dirty clothes, deciding to ask sometime today when he'd get his uniform.

Hullahaz cocked his eyebrow before looking at Ben's uniform, fiddling with the rings on his neck. "You can borrow one of Kingston's."

He was the tallest of all of them, sure, but also the least likely to object. A dirty uniform after a shower was the most unpleasant feeling.

"And yeah. Anything for me, I guess." He didn't meet Ben's eyes as he spoke.

Ben hunched forward a little bit, holding his arm. Tugging on his clothes, he got ready to head back, pausing to wait for the guards to cuff Hullahaz.

He was thankful that he'd been chosen as a prison wife, but he also wasn't sure how things would go over time. What about when his one year was up? Did he just leave and never speak of what happened? Would he just have to forget about this man and then go back to his ways of prostitution? But even in the mean time, would they just have a purely sexual relationship? With the way Hullahaz seemed to almost _care_ about him, he wasn't sure.

But he could mull over it later.

Walking back to the cell, Hullahaz caught a whiff of what would be for dinner. God dammit, that mash again. Someone _really_ had to step into the kitchen. He'd persuade someone in due time, surely. Someone who actually knew how to use spices.

But who?

His thoughts were interrupted quickly as he was uncuffed and tossed back into the cell with Ben in tow- and he caught a glimpse of dick-in-ass action before the two other males scattered in fear and shock.

"I told you it was a bad idea!"

"Shut up, you were underperforming!"

Ben went red in the face as he realized they'd interrupted (not unlike what Kingston might have felt walking in yesterday) and looked away, putting a hand to his mouth as he stifled a laugh. Tossing his towel onto a chair, he climbed up into his bunk and had a fit of silent laughter.

A pillow was thrown at him from the bunk bed across the room, and Kingston and McDonagh's bickering continued as Hullahaz settled down for a nap.

Like hell he was eating mash.

Ben felt a bit tired too, nor did the smell of dinner make him any hungrier, but he wanted to at least check up on Roger or see if he even showed up to dinner. He seemed in pretty bad shape earlier.

Hoping to ease the tension between his cell mates, Ben climbed down and cleared his throat.

"Hey Kingston, think I could borrow one of your uniforms?"

Kingston looked over at him in confusion. "One of mine? Why? They wouldn't fit-"

"Do as he says," Hullahaz interjected, a cigarette now between his lips. Kingston huffed.

"So this is how it's gonna be. Great! Wonderful. McDonagh, could you please say-"

"What did you expect? He wasn't gonna go for either of us."

Ben began walking over towards Kingston's belongings when he heard McDonagh speak, causing him to falter. He felt pang of guilt and stopped moving, grabbing his arm nervously.

He had no obligation to do anything for either of them, nor did Hullahaz really "own" him, but he still didn't want them to think he was off-limits. After all, he'd already sucked off Kingston, and wasn't opposed to doing things with McDonagh (so long as Hullahaz approved), so he _did_ have interest in them.

But as far as long-term safety went, it was smart of Ben to go for Hullahaz as his prison husband.

"Hey, _Cillian_ ," Hullahaz spat, slowly raising his head to meet McDonagh's bright green eyes. Kingston froze in mid-gesture, holding out his spare uniform to Ben.

McDonagh narrowed his eyes and spat out a 'what'.

"You made him feel bad. Do it again and I'll break your nose back into place."

McDonagh looked down, but said nothing.

Ben bit his lip and silently took the uniform and walked back a bit towards the table, taking off his clothes and pulling on the large uniform. The pants dragged on the ground, but he didn't mind.

In a near whisper, he murmured "Thanks Kingston."

Kingston merely muttered and gave Ben a shaky thumbs up. Things were going to be odd in the cell from now on, weren't they?

Wobbling back to his bed, he threw the blankets over himself and announced he'd be skipping dinner.

McDonagh replied with a loud "well, I won't."

Ben moved over to the door and folded his arms, waiting to be let out for dinner. He hoped that McDonagh didn't resent him too much.

Overall, he was just injured he'd lost to Hullahaz again, and wanted to know why the worst people got the best things in this place. With a heavy huff, he pushed the door open once the beeper was heard and headed out into the hall.

Ben followed him out and thought for a moment before calling out to him.

"McDonagh, hold on." He swallowed the lump in his throat as he waited, hoping that he'd stop.

He stopped and turned around slowly, eyebrow raised. He didn't want a pity party, if that was what was coming.

He had been interrupted during sex and he wouldn't have another shot until deep into the nighttime. He was in a pretty bad mood.

Ben looked him in the eyes.

"If Hullahaz is fine with it, I would like to do something for you sometime. Just... Don't think you're the odd man out in the cell or anything." He pushed his way past the other man, wanting to leave things there, and headed down into the cafeteria.

McDonagh growled as Ben pushed past, hands balled into fists. Ben was implying he had shown weakness.

"That's not the problem. I'm just sick of Hullahaz's alpha bullshit. But whatever, I guess tall, stupid men are your thing."

He made his way to the far end of the cafeteria and said nothing else.

Ben tried to put the words out of his head as he walked in, still feeling bad. McDonagh didn't deserve to have his ass handed to him by Hullahaz, so he wanted to try and feel better before heading back up.

He really hoped Roger would be around.

Roger was by the window as usual, scratching at his cheek so much it was bright red. He drummed his fingers on the table as usual, his feet tapping anxiously as his eyes flicked around the room.

Withdrawal again.

Ben ignored the food and went over to his friend's side, giving him a gentle nudge.

Speaking softly, he smiled and said, "hey."

"He-hey," he replied quickly, hand gripping the table as his eyes darted around some more. Today was a particularly bad day.

"How's... things..."

“Alright I guess. I mean, good in some respects, meh in others." He looked at Roger's physical state, frowning a bit.

"Anything I can do to help?"

"Un-unless you have heroin in that oversized uniform of yours, I don't... I don't think so," he laughed softly, trying his best to stop himself from scratching his skin to oblivion.

"But I heard about the showers."

Ben didn't really want to support the addiction anyway, but he knew that what Roger was feeling was probably unbearable.

The comment about the showers almost surprised him, but he figured it was coming.

"Guess that means it's official now."

He nodded and leaned forward, sighing deeply. This reply was not an act of disappointment- rather a way to release energy.

"It's official. No one will touch you. And if they do..."

His eyes darted around more. "Well, they die."

Ben wished he could offer protection to Roger as well, but alas, there was no way. Maybe he could get him drugs sometime, even if it made him feel bad to do so. But it wasn't like addiction recovery really happened in prison; so long as he didn't die and made it through his sentence, Roger could still yet recover.

At least, that was his rationale to make him a bit more okay with giving the other man drugs.

"Yep. One less thing to worry about now, I suppose."

"You've got it in the bag," Roger replied shakily, holding his fork down to his mash before pulling a face. He really didn't want to eat. Looking over at Ben with a sharp inhale, he stood up from the table. "I'm gonna forsake dinner entirely, I- I'm gonna go for a run instead."

Picking up his tray, he lingered for a moment.

"You can come with me if you want."

Ben didn't particularly want to get sweaty, but he wanted to spend more time with Roger, and felt maybe they could bond a bit better, especially if he didn't have to run by himself.

"Sounds good to me." Giving him a smile, he stood up.

Depositing his uneaten food in the garbage, he headed outside to the courtyard, looking over his shoulder a few times to see if Ben was following. The chilly night air made him perk up a tiny bit.

"You don't need to run, I just... Need to let off steam. Or- or, you know."

Ben followed him and nodded, rolling up his pants a bit so they wouldn't get dirty. "I'll probably just be walking, but you'll be able to see me. Feel free to slow down beside me if you want to talk though." He gave Roger a smile and took a deep breath of the cooler air.

In return, Roger nodded, but he knew if he didn't run he'd feel cooped up and jittery. Starting with a trot, he was soon engaging in a full sprint across the courtyard. He managed to complete one lap before tripping over and falling onto his hands and knees.

Ben's eyes widened as he saw Roger trip and fall, and he ran over to help him, kneeling down.

"You alright??" There was a hint of panic to his voice, and he hoped that this wasn't the cherry on top of Roger's awful day.

Roger hesitated to look up at Ben. His knees were already bruised from days before, and his palms were now roughed up and bloody. Blinking back tears, he turned to look at the man kneeling beside him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... Kinda clumsy."

Ben wrapped an arm around Roger and helped him up off the ground. He wasn't sure whether or not to let go yet, so he waited until Roger pulled away on his own.

"We should take you to the infirmary, get you cleaned up and maybe some band aids."

Roger didn't pull away. He stayed close to Ben for a moment, eyes closed as he relished the only genuinely enjoyable moments of human contact he'd had since arriving in the prison.

"No... Just some water on my palms will be okay."

Nodding, Ben began leading him to the bathroom (well, he let Roger lead him, but he helped get him there), and waited for him to clean up a bit before they'd head back to their cells.

He kept his eyes down, dark hair falling over them before he pushed it behind his ear, letting the cold water run over his palms. He didn't want to go back to his cell.

He wanted to run away.

Nothing was going to work.

Ben watched him stand there by the sink, and he walked over, grabbing a paper towel for him and handing it over.

"You'll be okay. It was just a small fall." It wasn't particularly helpful or nice in his mind, but he was at a loss for words on how to help.

He smiled and took the paper towel, dabbing his hands with it, yet hissing slightly at the contact against his raw skin. "Yeah, thanks, it's just... Dozens of small falls accumulate."

Throwing the paper towel away, he walked out of the bathroom, casting a glance at Ben for a moment before walking away with a small goodnight. The fluorescent lights made his eyes seem bluer somehow.

Ben felt a small blush come over his face, and he looked away, saying goodnight back.

First it was Hullahaz, and now..... Roger? He wasn't sure if his feelings for Hullahaz were similar (yet), but considering the way he'd been treated, it certainly _seemed_ to be heading that way.

Heading back over to his cell, he'd managed to get the blush to fade before entering through the door and climbing up his bunk.

Kingston was right at the end of his trashy novel, Hullahaz was fidgeting with his cube, and McDonagh was writing in his journal. They all offered him some form of greeting once he came in.

"Oh," McDonagh began, though it was awfully softly, "your uniform. It'll be ready tomorrow."

"Allowance too," Kingston piped up.

Hullahaz seemed to smile.

Ben grinned. "Awesome, thanks. Don't worry Kingston, your uniform won't be too gross from me wearing it, though you're welcome to wash it if you want."

Climbing under the covers, he closed his eyes, still worried about Roger, but feeling pleased with how things were going for him.

“Uh- Washing's... I... I can worry about that later." He waved his hand dismissively. "Oh my god."

"What?" Came a whisper from the top bunk.

"It was Cassandra all along."

"Told you."


	6. Roger

In the morning, Ben was up bright and early, eager to collect his allowance and buy the toothbrush he'd get to make into a shank. He had Hullahaz, sure, but he wasn't around 24/7, and it would be nice for him to have some kind of self-defense.

Making his way down to the office, he picked up his money and went to go buy his second toothbrush, going back upstairs while it was still before breakfast.

"Hey guys, look what I got!"

McDonagh rubbed his eyes and sat up, with Kingston already up and ready to buy himself another trashy novel. The blonde clasped his hands together excitedly.

"A toothbrush!"

McDonagh snorted and pinched his broken nose. "Multi-use toothbrush."

"What? I thought they only had-" Meeting McDonagh's eye, something seemed to dawn on Kingston. "Oh! ...Oooh."

Although he looked suddenly anxious, Hullahaz seemed perfectly relaxed.

Ben giggled a bit darkly, but he was thrilled to have a means to protect himself. But then he realized something.

"Shit, how I am I gonna turn it into something I can use to protect myself? Do I like, grind it on the wall for hours until it's pointy?" The question sounded stupid to him.

"You go to assembly, right?" McDonagh replied after a big, loud yawn. "Use the tools there. Even shit like flat-head screwdrivers can do the trick if you put enough muscle into it."

"Personally I prefer the glass shard method..." Kingston murmured, putting his shoes on.

"That's how you cut your thigh."

Ben smiled. "Right, I'll do that. And... how am I gonna hide it without hurting myself?" He smirked at Kingston a bit, thinking about the man trying to hide a piece of glass in his pants and cutting himself.

McDonagh and Kingston looked at each other for a moment, but Hullahaz spoke up.

"You put it in a sock."

Eyes turned to him, and he raised an eyebrow before standing up.

"Won't jab you or rip a hole in your pants. It's a choice between feelin' like an asshole for carryin' a sock in your pocket, or gettin' fucked for not havin' your weapon."

Standing tall and imposing in front of Ben, he hovered a hand over the smaller man's waist and brushed a strand of hair out of his eye before moving away.

"I'm gonna have breakfast."

Ben felt his face grow hot, and he looked down a little bit. "I'll leave my toothbrush up here and grab it before assembly. Think I'll follow you down though." With his final words, he looked back up at Hullahaz with a small smile, glancing over at the other men.

They merely gave him confused shrugs and shakes of the head. They'd never seen Hullahaz act so docile towards anyone, so their instinct was to stay on their toes, but at the same time they doubted Ben might be in any danger.

The tattooed man seemed to wait for Ben to follow. He wouldn't be opposed to them sharing a table.

Ben followed Hullahaz down to breakfast and grabbed one of the travel cereal packs, along with a milk carton. Today he decided he perhaps shouldn't load up on sugar in the form of doughnuts. Watching to see where his cellmate went, he tagged along, sitting down near him. He glanced around to see if Roger was around.

He was, but he seemed to be respecting Ben's space as he was spending time with one of, if not the biggest alpha in the prison. He did offer his friend a small smile, though.

Hullahaz sat by the window, having simply two of the doughnuts and a cup of black coffee. There was enough room for Jesus between them, but the protection was still in effect.

A younger cellmate approached them nervously, holding a box.

Ben poured his milk in his cereal and began stirring it. It was nice to spend time out in the prison without feeling particularly threatened or small, and he gave Hullahaz a small smile.

Watching the random inmate walk up to them, Ben scooted a little bit closer to his cellmate, although he wasn't all that intimidated by them.

Hullahaz cast a downwards glance towards Ben before looking up at the nervous inmate. The prisoner then pushed the box onto the table and ran away, causing the man to chuckle as he brought the box closer.

Opening it, he revealed a decently-sized bottle of lube. He didn't even blink.

Ben's face paled a bit, merely because he hadn't been expecting that, but he couldn't hide the excitement at the thought of getting to have sex with lube finally. It was enough to give him a very small erection, which he tried to hide by pulling the oversized uniform out a bit while shoveling down more cereal.

Hullahaz, perceptive bastard that he was, closed the box and pretended to need to lean over to grab the sugar at the end of the table, pushing up against Ben as if he didn't exist, mouth dangerously close to his ear.

Why not? It's not like anyone would complain.

Ben felt his face go red as Hullahaz pressed himself against him. His erection grew a bit more, and he hoped and prayed that his cell mate wouldn't rub up against it. It was one thing to fool around in the showers, but at breakfast? Trying to hold his breath, he put his arms on the table and held them still.

Grabbing the sugar, he lingered a moment, the heat from his chest radiating onto Ben as he noticed his wife did his best to stay absolutely still.

"You're doin' good," he whispered, deep raspy voice becoming somehow deeper, "I'm startin' to like you."

He moved back away without warning.

Ben released the air in his lungs slowly, closing his eyes. "T-thanks..." A small smile crossed his lips, and he pulled the cereal back towards him, quickly eating the rest of it.

"I'm gonna have to head back to the cell to grab the stuff before heading to assembly, but I'll go back up when you do."

Hullahaz dunked his last bit of doughnut in his coffee and nodded, cradling the box under his arm before frowning. "You're gonna have to carry this."

The guards were hovering around the entrance as usual, waiting for him to take him back. He looked at Ben for a moment and wondered how he'd feel if their physical contact continued to be minimal.

Ben took the box and tried to play it off casually as they went back to the cell, and once they had walked in, Ben handed the box to Hullahaz, in case he wanted to keep it.

He slid it under the bed and nodded, rolling up his sleeves before dropping to the floor to work out. It was just the two of them.

Ben grabbed a spare sock and the toothbrush and stuffed them in his pocket, getting himself ready to head down to assembly.

"I'll be back in a bit." He waved off Hullahaz with a smile.

He nodded, the only noises coming from him being soft puffs of air with each pushup. He was secretly glad Ben listened to him.

Most people just feared him.

Ben made his way down to the activity and settled in, listening to the instructor as he looked for tools he could use to sharpen his toothbrush. Although he did find something and started on it under the table, he kept his attention on the instructor and worked on the small bit of machinery. Wondering if Hullahaz was into mechanics, he decided he might talk about his time in class with him. After all, he didn't have a friend in the class.

That was the downside to not allowing Hullahaz to join activities; he'd love to partake in assembly. Most people kept to themselves, and the instructor was nice enough, so fortunately the environment wasn't hostile.

The activity went by quickly enough, and with his new shank in tow, Ben returned to the cell happily. He was excited to show it off to his cell mates, especially since he was proud of how it had turned out.

The cell was a mess when he arrived. Well, not THAT big of a mess, but playing cards were all over the floor and Kingston and McDonagh were in a heated argument. Hullahaz was playing with his neck lace.

Ben's mood dropped a bit when he saw the two men bickering, and he looked down at Hullahaz.

"What's up with them?"

"One of them cheated at cards," he replied dryly.

"Yeah and it was CILLIAN!"

"Shut the fuck up, Jesse!"

Ben stayed back away from them and leaned against the bed. Pulling the sock out of his pocket, he revealed the toothbrush to Hullahaz and gave him a small smile.

"Think it'll work?"

"It'll work," he nodded softly as the other two bickered. "Just remember to use it as a last resort."

And not against me, his tone seemed to suggest. Still, he flashed Ben a smile.

"Good job."

A small formed on Ben's lips and he nodded, putting it away.

"So when do you think they'll stop? Sometime before lunch I hope...."

Hullahaz shrugged and zipped his uniform up properly. "Dunno. Up to them."

"-And I saw you change the-"

"-You didn't see shit!"

Ben rolled his eyes and went over to his towel to wipe his hands. He'd washed them before leaving the activity today, but they were still a bit greasy. It seemed as though he wouldn't be able to talk with Kingston or McDonagh about his time in his activity, so he sat down at the edge of Hullahaz's bed and turned to face him.

"So I had a decent time in assembly today otherwise. We were fiddling with parts of an engine, nothing all that unusual, but I haven't worked on one in years. You ever do mechanic work?"

Hullahaz's eyes seemed to light up at the mention of mechanics. He sat up a little straighter and put his hands on his lap, eyebrows raised. _Don't show too much excitement_.

"Yeah, I know a thing or two 'bout parts." He closed his eyes for a moment. "Used to work as a mechanic."

Ben smiled more as he felt a kinship with Hullahaz, even if he himself hadn't worked on cars or anything in over two years. If he felt like he could choose a new path, he'd be a mechanic. Maybe when he got out, he could find some easy work as a repairman.

Though part of him wished he could work with Hullahaz, but it probably wasn't likely that he would be getting out of here any time soon, if at all.

Hullahaz barely spoke at all, mainly listening to whatever Ben told him, but when he did, he had a certain motion to his hands that showed he actually _cared_ about what he was saying. He was displaying a level of humanity that, were the other two aware of it, would have unnerved anyone else in the room.

This conversation was cut short by a guard banging on the door, telling him to get moving.

...

About a week passed without much really happening. Ben and Hullahaz had maintained their relationship, although the talk of mechanics had caused them to bond a bit more. Ben was feeling quite happy and comfortable around the other inmate, and walked around the prison without fear, although he still kept the shank on him at all times.

...

Ben pulled the blankets up over his head, getting ready to drift off to sleep. Before long, he was fast asleep, though about an hour into the night, he heard a noise at the cell gate, which roused him. Sleep still in his eyes, he lazily rolled over, squinting at the light to try and figure out who was entering the cell. Whoever it was (he couldn't tell yet), they calmly walked in and turned to Ben's bunk, climbing up the ladder.

"G-get off my bed!!" Ben stammered. He didn't know who would be climbing up onto his bed (aside from Hullahaz, who was already in the cell), and he tried to push them off with his feet without luck.

It wasn't until they pulled themselves into the light that Ben saw the familiar face of his father towering over him, and he gasped, his body shaking in fear. Unable to move, he watched as his dad placed his hand gently on his stomach and slid it up to his throat, holding him firmly, but not strangling him. His other hand snaked its way into Ben's pants and groped him, making Ben groan unpleasantly. Through strained breath, he tried to speak. "H-h-how are you here??" But his father ignored his question.

"You know WHY I'm here... because you got sentenced for the WRONG crime!" His hold on Ben's throat tightened, causing Ben to cough. Why hadn't the others woken up yet??

Ben's pants were roughly pulled down, his father undoing his own while he moved closer to Ben's face, an angry grin slowly forming on his face.

"Right Ben?? We both know you were arrested for being a no-good _whore_ , but deep down, you're a **murderer**." Tears were welling up in Ben's eyes, torn between nodding or shaking his head.

"I'm s-sorry!! Daddy-" His words were cut off as his father pinched his throat.

"No you're not!!" He pulled Ben's legs around his body and pushed into him, causing Ben to yelp. His whole body was shaking underneath his dad, and he wanted to push him away but he was too paralyzed in terror to move. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he looked over at McDonagh and Kingston, wanting to scream out at them to help, but he was pinned under his dad's hand as the pain from his dad's thrusts spread throughout his whole body like fire.

His father's mouth opened wide, unnaturally so, rows of sharp teeth lining the inside as his tongue lolled out and eyes turned bright red.

" **WHY DID YOU KILL THEM BEN?? DID YOU HATE YOUR SISTER?? DID YOU HATE YOUR MOTHER??** " Ben screamed as his father's grip on his neck somehow got tighter, until his now-clawed fingers broke the skin and wrapped around Ben's throat, pulling back suddenly to tear it out. Blood began spilling out onto his bed as he was pounded into even harder. It was almost as if his dad were trying to tear him apart from the bottom up. Any of his words he wanted to speak gurgled out of him, and he reached his hand out from the edge of the bed, frantically trying to alert _Hullahaz_ , who should have already been woken up by this.

_Why isn’t he waking up?? Wasn't he supposed to protect me??_

His dad had transformed into a monstrous being towering over him, screaming in his face.

" **YOU KILLED THEM!! YOU KILLED THEM!! YOU KILLED THEM!!** "

With a final, shrieking wail, his father's mouth stretched open wide enough to swallow him whole, and Ben shut his eyes, sobbing with his torn throat.

His eyes shot open and he found himself clutching his pillow to his face, bed and body drenched in a cold sweat, and the pillow wet with tears.

Slowly turning over, his hands shaking violently, he noticed that his dad in fact _wasn't_ there. But there was no point in waking up his entire cell because of a bad dream.

Feeling extremely vulnerable all alone in his bed, Ben held his pillow close and did what instinct told him to do, even if it could wind up poorly for him. Climbing down the ladder from his bunk as quietly as possible, he looked over at Hullahaz, who was sleeping facing the wall, away from the edge. Ben crawled up onto the bed alongside him, facing him and putting his pillow under his head, stifling his sobs as he closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep soon and not see his father again.

It took Hullahaz all of five seconds to wake up when he noticed someone invade his space, but without having to look over his shoulder he knew who it was. Not moving at first, he took a minute to silently assess the situation. Ben probably had a nightmare- he seemed to be crying, the small sighs and mild shakes of the bed leading him to suspect this. What was he meant to do? Prison was a tough place, but he had protection... He wasn't meant to show any weakness, and neither was Hullahaz.

But still, they were in their cell, in the dead of night, with no onlookers. It didn't matter what happened in here.

Once he was sure Ben was asleep (or had at least stopped crying), he turned around slowly to face him, placing an arm not around him, but directly above him so as to offer him some shelter without having direct contact.

Ben had almost nodded off again when he noticed Hullahaz's arm was near him, and opening his extremely tired, red eyes, he looked up at him for a moment before closing them and exhaling slowly, passing out entirely from emotional exhaustion.

The urge to put a hand on Ben's cheek was strong, and he was ashamed of this realization- he attributed it to bring half asleep.

Deciding it would be safe to resume his slumber, Hullahaz let his head rest just above Ben's before closing his eyes.

The next morning, Kingston and McDonagh said nothing; in fact, they did their best not to wake them.

Ben woke up, feeling well-rested, although thinking back to his dream made him panicky again and he tried to push it down so he could act relatively normal. Pushing up from the bed, he smiled down at Hullahaz a bit before sitting on the edge of the bed to stretch and yawn. Hugging his pillow in his arms, he hunched forward resting his chin on it as he woke up.

Hullahaz was sleeping soundly still, barely making any sound at all aside from a few quiet rasps. He'd held his protective stance all night.

He looked incredibly peaceful and _docile_ in comparison to his waking hours...

Ben looked back at his husband. His sleeping gaze seemed so soft and it made Ben want to lie back against him, but with everyone awake now, he'd probably only hurt Hullahaz's image, and then he'd have to be roughed up again so no one would doubt him. And truthfully, he didn't want to be roughed up again. Although initially it was something he sort of accepted as part of gaining protection, everyone understood that Ben was protected by him, and had seen them fucking several times roughly, so there was no reason for him to be doubted.

And at this point, there almost felt like a bit of _care_ in what he did, and so should Hullahaz be rough with Ben again, he'd probably be taken by surprise and a bit upset (though he'd never show it).

The sleeping man felt eyes on him, but he didn't quite awaken- he merely stirred, hand gripping the sheets as he mumbled.

Kingston whispered (rather loudly) that he was going to breakfast, and McDonagh grumbled as he followed the blonde. Soon silence filled the cell, the noise from the halls dulling into a buzz.

Ben turned back around and put his leg up on the bed, closing his eyes and leaning down on it with the pillow. He was still a bit tired, and being alone with Hullahaz made him feel relaxed and comfortable.

It was completely instinctual. In his slumber, Hullahaz felt a weight beside him and in the dream it manifested as his niece, who'd often suffer from nightmares after nearly being abducted.  His arm shot out and wrapped around the body.

Ben gasped softly as he was pulled close to Hullahaz, but feeling the other man holding him, feeling comforted, he closed his eyes again and leaned his head in, trying not to move too much as to not wake the sleeping man.

Funny how affectionate he was being in his sleep.

Although the grip was caring, it still had a degree of roughness to it, as if he were guarding an object from harm as opposed to seeking affection. Prison had hardened him.

Still, his breathing was relaxed and he showed no signs of minding whether or not Ben was snuggled to him.

It was just a question of how long the moment would last.

Ben didn't realize how drowsy he still was, and before long, he'd fallen back asleep in Hullahaz's arms, feeling safe and happy.

Hullahaz had become embarrassed when he realized he'd shown affection in his sleep, but Ben was his wife after all. There was more to the bond than sex and protection; there was support.

He moved away slowly so as to not wake the younger man, but before he left he took the blanket from the top bunk and draped it over Ben.

About an hour later, Ben rolled over, actually waking up this time with the intent to stay up. When he looked up, he noticed he was seeing the bottom of another bunk, and realized he had fallen asleep in Hullahaz's bed. The other men hadn't returned, but looking out of the cell to check the clock, he realized there was still a little time before art.

 _Roger_.

Ben found himself being drawn to him over the last several days, caring about him, wanting to help him. But he was still confused as to how he felt that way while he was also involved with Hullahaz.

But it was prison, so perhaps there weren't any true feelings at all. Maybe he was just telling himself that.

Pulling on his uniform, he headed to his art class, anxiously looking around for Roger.

The man in question was sitting at his easel, his night sky painting having been finished long ago, and he was now working on the portrait of a woman sitting at a desk.

It was the office lady.

Seeing Ben enter the room, he offered him a bright smile.

Ben practically ran over to him, eager to see what he was working on before grabbing his own things. Recognizing the figure he was drawing, he smiled.

"Wow, this looks _amazing_ Roger!" He ran off to grab his things (paints and a fresh paper) before coming back over, pulling his easel closer to his friend's.

With his pencil, he slowly began sketching out some figures. All of them were merely headshots, but they were all roughly the same size and each took up a decent quadrant of the page. He gradually added more detail to them, and to the ignorant eye, it seemed like he was drawing four random people, but before long it was clear he was drawing his cell mates and _Roger_.

"You think so? I might give it to her as a birthday present once it's done. It's why I take advantage of the days my hands are less shaky to work on it," he smiled. "I'm glad you like it, though."

As he noticed Ben was closer to him, he snuck a few glances at his work between color switches, and once the figures began to make themselves clear, he blushed slightly.

"Is... is that me?"

Ben's face went red and he faltered, drawing a small line somewhere he didn't mean to. Quickly flipping the pencil around, he erased the erroneous line and chuckled nervously.

"Y-yeah. Hope you don't mind. I just wanted to draw some of my, uh... friends." He bit his lip and didn't look over into Roger's eyes.

Roger's eyes widened momentarily as he chuckled, reaching over and patting Ben on the shoulder. "That's really cool of you to do, man. Thank you."

Again, this was one of the single acts of kindness he'd been shown, but he tried not to make that obvious. "It looks awesome."

Ben felt himself shudder happily when Roger touched him, blushing again, but this time looking up into his eyes.

In that moment, he felt his heart tugging for the other man, and seeing the traces of bruising on him, and how tired he looked; Ben felt a surge of desire to protect him... not that he could.

It was a fleeting moment before he looked away, coughing a little bit and returning to his drawing to block out the details before starting to paint.

Roger chuckled softly as he got back to work on his own piece, but after a moment he looked over at Ben again and spoke quietly.

"Wanna go to the greenhouse after lunch? Your friend might be in there looking after his plant..."

Ben smiled and chuckled softly.

"Yeah, sounds good to me." Even if Kingston wasn't there, he'd still get to enjoy his time with Roger, and that was more than enough for him.

The greenhouse was, in fact, unoccupied, but Roger made a note of going over to Kingston's concealed bud to check on it.

"It looks good, yeah? He knows what he's doing..."

Ben smiled, looking over at it. "Well, even if he did get busted for meth, he seems pretty drug smart anyhow."

The quiet of the greenhouse while being alone with Roger made him feel better, and he finally managed to push down the thoughts of his dream the previous night.

Standing near him, he smiled sweetly, looking down for a moment when he began blushing.

Roger looked back up at him and smiled before standing up and taking his hand.

"Yeah, he seems multitalented, huh? I wonder..."

Looking around the greenhouse, he slowly guided Ben over to a pot of purple flowers. "These ones are my favorite."

Ben held his breath as his hand was taken, tagging along with Roger. The flowers he was shown really _were_ gorgeous, and it took quite a bit of energy for Ben not to vocalize how he felt about them with regards to Roger.

_What is going on with my head??_

"I can see why, they're really pretty..." With a small sigh, he looked around. "Perhaps I should spend more time in here, find my own favorite flowers." His gaze met Roger's again and he squeezed his hand, perhaps sending a message he didn't mean to send.

"You could always sign up for botany, you know. I hear it's really relaxing."

With a sweet smile, Roger returned the squeeze. Each moment that passed, the less he wanted to go through with the plan.

He'd have to tell them.

"You could join your friend... And I could sneak in..."

Ben laughed a bit. "I dunno what I'd exactly do in botany, but having you around would be nice."

Turning to face the other inmate, he took a small step closer, looking back down at the flowers. He put a hand out and gently touched the petals, feeling how soft they were, and trailed his hand from them over to Roger's arm, pulling him ever so slightly closer to him.

Roger was no fool, and he smiled to himself as he took a better hold on Ben's hand, bringing it closer to his body.

"We could grow a plant together... Because that's something _friends_ do..."

Chuckling, he waited to see Ben's reaction before making any further moves.

Ben's breathing grew heavy and the tug towards Roger was stronger than ever before. Moving in a bit closer, he let his eyelids droop just a little bit, biting his lip gently and holding his hand a little more tightly, but still with care.

Now only inches away from Roger's face, Ben's cheeks went a bit rosy, and he softly chuckled, glancing away.

" _Yeah, I think we should_."

That was enough for Roger to know what he had to do. He trailed a hand up to Ben's cheek and leaned in, head tilted to one side as his smile remained.

He planted his lips softly to Ben's and held them there for a good while, eyes closing as his grip on the other man's hand remained.

When he moved away, he looked almost coy.

"This can be our little greenhouse secret."

Ben shuddered at the kiss, closing his eyes as their lips pressed to each other. But it was over all too soon. He wanted more.

All Ben could do was nod slowly, mouth hung open, as he slid a hand to Roger's waist and held him closer, still remaining gentle. Pushing his head forward, he went in for another kiss, not wanting to be too forceful, but craving the sensation of Roger's lips on his own.

Roger was eager, as soon as he saw Ben move in for round two he leaned in to meet him halfway, arms wrapping around him as their lips locked.

If anyone were to walk in now, he was unsure what would happen... but for now he felt safe.

For Ben, all time in the world stopped. He was alone in the greenhouse with a man he loved (he couldn't hide that fact now), embracing him, and hoping he was making him feel happier.

He pulled away only a little bit, exhaling as he found words to say. " _I think I love you_..."

Roger's eyes widened at the words, and although he was smiling, his eyes seemed sad.

"That's sort of a scary thought, isn't it...?"

Kissing Ben's forehead, he stroked his arm. "I think I might feel the same..."

Now more than ever, when Ben looked down at Roger's arms and saw the bruising, scars, and scabs, his chest burned hot, and he wanted to make all of those marks go away. However he was getting them, he wanted so _badly_ to make it stop.

Closing his eyes, he leaned against him and breathing slowly, slid his hands up to Roger's upper arms and squeezed them a bit comfortingly.

Roger gave him a gentle nudge, followed by resting his cheek against Ben's head. He felt oddly comforted, but a pit began to form in his stomach.

He'd hoped his cellmates would have given up on Ben now that he was Hullahaz's wife. He'd hoped wrong.

"You can meet me here again tomorrow, if you want..."

Ben's eyes opened and he looked up into Roger's.

"Please... I'd love that."

They had spent quite a lot of time alone already in the greenhouse, and he knew it couldn’t last much longer. Giving him another, final kiss, he pulled away, still holding his hand.

"I-I should probably get back... Hullahaz might be wonder where I am..."

"Yeah, but don't worry. He won't hurt you... not in a lasting way. You're safe now, I promise."

Squeezing Ben's hand, he nodded after giving him a small smile.

"Maybe sometime we can meet at night, too," he whispered, before waving slowly.

Ben gave a small wave back to him and headed back to the cell, still feeling giddy at what had just transpired, but nervous about how Hullahaz might react if he found out. Of course, Ben was still his wife and would put him over Roger, but he didn't want his cellmate to react badly.

Making his way back, he stepped in, biting his lip a little bit.

They greeted him as usual, with a simple hey and a wave, but Hullahaz had a sort of softness in his eyes. He tried to conceal it by not looking much at Ben, though he did approach him to better acknowledge his presence.

He stood before him, almost expecting Ben to be drawn to him... then he sat back down onto the bed, shedding his jumpsuit's top layer.

Ben smirked and stepped closer between Hullahaz's legs, playing with his hands in front of him and waiting to see what he wanted. Remembering how he'd been left earlier, he felt quite pleased to be around him again, knowing how he'd made an effort to comfort him.

Hullahaz pulled him onto his lap in one swift movement, looking into his eyes before flipping him over onto the bed to lean over him.

He was smiling slightly, a hand tracing up and down Ben's neck and chest.

McDonagh took this as his cue to leave, and Kingston turned over.

Ben didn't even really notice the others, as he was too preoccupied with Hullahaz. Tilting his head to the side, he looked up into the other man's eyes fondly, still riding off the high that came from kissing Roger earlier, along with the cuddling he did this morning.

Overall, aside from the nightmare, Ben had a pretty good day so far.

Hullahaz leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, breathing deeply as he slid a hand under Ben's shirt, tweaking his pierced nipple.

This sort of thing got him off like nobody's business- but that was just it. He could barely indulge in things like these due to his ruthless status.

Ben's jaw hung open a bit as he was teased, spreading his legs out a bit as he cast a sultry gaze at his husband. Tentatively licking his lips, he arched up his back as to move his chest closer to Hullahaz, so he'd have more leverage.

His tongue flicked out deviously as he pinched Ben's nipple further, tugging on the ring. His knee came up to rub at Ben's crotch through his pants, gaze never breaking.

Ben's eyes half-closed again and he felt himself growing erect in his uniform, a hitched moan escaping his lips once he felt Hullahaz's knee rubbing against him. Sucking his lip into his mouth, he felt submissive under the other man and whimpered a little bit.

This made a grin flash across Hullahaz's face. The only time he enjoyed being in control was when he was having sex.

Swapping out his knee for his hand, he gave Ben's package a squeeze, other hand rolling up his shirt to expose the younger man's chest, to further enjoy what he was doing.

Ben shuddered and released his lip, exhaling slowly. His mind briefly flashed on his nightmare from before, causing a slight twinge of fear, but he pushed it down. This was Hullahaz, not his father, after all.

His touches were firm, but not quite rough. Still, his squeezes became harder, his face now dangerously close to Ben's body- it was unsure whether or not he was aiming for the neck.

After a moment, he slid his tongue down Ben's chest in one harsh lick.

Ben ooh'd and felt goosebumps cover his skin. He arched up his back hard into his partner and whimpered a bit, his cock beginning to throb hard.

Pressing his teeth to Ben's skin, he felt a deep chuckle in his throat. Fingers rubbed the head of Ben's cock through the fabric of his uniform.

"You gonna cum?" He teased, nibbling around his chest. "Gonna cum for me?"

Ben moved his hands to the sheets and gripped them, curling up his toes and moaning a bit louder. "Yeah, if you want me to..." He wanted to push his cock further up against Hullahaz, but he opted to let him do whatever he wanted to his body.

Gripping his cock through the fabric and rotating it slowly, he grinned and let his pearly white teeth drag across Ben's nipples. "Do it."

His free hand was softy pushing its nails into the skin of Ben's shoulder.

Ben gasped softly and moved one of his hands to his face, covering his mouth. He was getting too loud, and he _knew_ that Kingston was probably feeling uncomfortable (although he'd never say), so cupping his hand, he started rocking his hips and grinding against Hullahaz's hand.

It surprised him that Hullahaz was trying to get _him_ off.

It was his own way of getting himself off while also asserting dominance, his own way of giving back to the man who he could have sex with at the snap of his fingers.

He had been gentle once, he had been kind. There was no need to get rid of that as long as he could still be intimidating.

Grabbing him closer, Hullahaz pushed his own crotch to Ben's, putting both hands on the bed to give his hips a long, firm swing, causing their cocks to slide together for one long moment.

Whimpering, Ben arched up his back into the motion. Every fiber of his being told him to tear off the uniform, but he did not, the fire in his chest burning hot as he breathed harder. Looking up into Hullahaz's eyes, he felt such a strong pull, like he did with Roger.

_Was this love too? Or am I just high on lust?_

Looking tender for a moment, Hullahaz leaned down as he thrust again, his piercings being so prominent they could be felt through the fabric. Pushing down further, he pushed Ben's head to one side so he could graze his teeth against his neck, just below his ear.

Kingston began aggressively flipping pages.

The sensation of the piercings drove him wild, and he tilted his head up, gasping through his fingers as he felt the man teasing his neck. At this rate, he wouldn't last all that long, somehow getting off through teasing, domination, and grinding alone.

In an undoubtedly demanding yet still somewhat tender whisper, Hullahaz spoke as he rubbed himself against Ben in reverse.

"Make a mess."

The tip of his tongue flicked out to prod at his wife's ear, another deep chuckle following.

Ben felt his cock twitching, and he wished he wasn't going to cum in his uniform, but he could wash it tomorrow, and he also didn't want to disappoint Hullahaz.

Besides, it was pretty thrilling to cum through his clothes.

Pushing up harder with his hips, Ben held his breath, feeling his orgasm building up, until finally he groaned loudly and let his eyes roll back, the warm, slick fluid spilling onto his torso and making a wet spot on his uniform. Collapsing back onto the bed, he sighed, trying to calm down from it.

"Good boy," Hullahaz whispered, holding back on his own orgasm yet curling his toes regardless, his sharp toenails nearly tearing through the blankets. He slid his palms up and down Ben's body for a moment, cherishing his gasps and moans.

His tongue slid across Ben's neck one final time before he moved away, looking down at the darkened area on Ben's uniform.

With a softer tone, he jerked his head towards the small sink in the room. "Go get cleaned up."

Ben took a few moments to breathe before pushing up off the bed, attempting to sit up. It was incredibly difficult for him, but he managed to get upright, head still spinning a bit. After a few seconds, he stood up, leaning on the bed before making his way over to the sink, where he undid his uniform and pulled it down. Ben leaned on the counter as he attempted to get his strength back.

Somehow all that teasing really took a lot out of him.

Kingston looked ready to throw his book at Hullahaz's face, and the tattooed man simply cocked his eyebrow and smirked as he openly jerked himself off, tissue box at his side. He had some decorum, after all.

Sometimes.

Eventually, of course, he made eye contact with Ben before closing his eyes slowly and leaning his head back, cum seeping down onto his hand.

Ben smiled at him and slowly walked over to Hullahaz, wanting to clean up the mess.

"Should I, or would you rather use a tissue?"

He couldn't help but offer.

Kingston shouted out "really!?" and practically darted out of the cell, book in tow, with Hullahaz shrugging for a moment before offering his hand slowly.

"Do what you wanna."

Ben felt kinda bad about making Kingston leave, but he cared more about finishing what had been started with Hullahaz than Kingston's feelings.

Taking his hand and kneeling down between his husband's legs, he placed his tongue down at the base of his cock and licked up over Hullahaz's fingers. The taste of him was pleasant on his tongue, and he slowly worked his way up, lapping up every drop off of him.

After a few tender sighs and moments of silence, Hullahaz spoke quietly, looking down at the man cleaning his mess.

"Ever thought about gettin' it yourself? Stead of just cleanin' up, I mean."

A finger trailed down to stroke at Ben's cheek.

"Havin' it spill down your throat."

Ben licked his lips and looked up at Hullahaz coyly.

"I mean, I've sucked plenty of people off. Even-" He glanced over at the other bed, remembering that Kingston had left. "If that's what you mean." Leaning into his husband's hand, he almost purred, feeling the inklings of another erection in his uniform.

"Mm." He didn't say much else for a moment, but his cock was still semi-erect. "Y'know you got permission to throw yourself at me from time to time."

He didn't want to flatter himself, but he was pretty handsome.

"Just a thought."

Ben's jaw hung open as he looked up at Hullahaz, now _fully_ erect. He was still quite tired, but he now _really_ wanted him, to lie on him while he was pounded into next week, or even _below_ him, looking up at the muscular tattooed man who would be thrusting into him hard.

His head went fuzzy and he breathed out slowly, gripping his legs with a low growl.

A finger tracing Ben's lower lip, Hullahaz undid his uniform entirely, urging Ben to do the same. He had suggested just a blowjob, but now it was apparent his wife wanted more. Leaning over to the space below his bed, he reached for the lube before shooting Ben an inquisitive look- just to make sure.

The contents of the bottle had been brought down a fair bit already.

Ben felt chills run down his body as his mind began to haze over again. In an instant he had undone his uniform and pulled it off, crawling up onto the bed and reclining back, staring at Hullahaz with intense lust in his eyes, toes curling, and fingers gripping the mattress. Gritting his teeth, he waited in agony for his husband to lube up.

He wasn't terribly sure where all this sudden sexual energy came from but he felt like he was gonna burst.

Hullahaz bit his lip slightly and obliged, flicking at his own nipple piercing with a chuckle as he coated himself in lube, bringing two fingers to Ben's ass so he could slick up his entrance as well.

Then, without hesitation, he climbed over him and looked into his eyes, letting the tip of his cock press to him just a bit, the cold metal piercings warming up instantly.

"You really want it bad, huh."

" _Y-yes.... please, give it to me.... Fuck me hard_...." Ben reached his arms around Hullahaz and dug his fingernails in, trying to maintain eye contact but fighting the desire to let his eyes roll back in anticipation.

Biting his lip again, Hullahaz realized he wasn't used to being talked to like this. Still, he obliged and thrust into Ben with all his might. He'd wanted to be relatively gentle, but since he'd been told to do otherwise...

The sensation made his head spin, but he tried not to show it.

Ben almost shouted his moan, not caring about how loud he was being at this point. Wrapping his arms more tightly around Hullahaz, he panted for a moment before licking his lips and whispering, " _Again?_ "

Hullahaz did as he was told and thrust into him again, closing his eyes as he did so from the impact. He breathed out slowly, gripping onto the mattress more firmly- until he was wrapping one arm around Ben, readying himself for another thrust.

This time, Ben let his eyes roll back, and he whispered out a " _fuck_..."

His whole body felt hot, and he wrapped his legs around him to hold him even closer. Eyes shut tightly, he titled his head forward, pressing his head against his husband.

Hullahaz began to pump into Ben a bit faster, but still just as hard as before. His bottom piercings glided against his wife's walls perfectly, and it made him hiss and groan softly.

Maybe they should use condoms... No, who cared, this ass was his to make a mess of for now...

His grip on Ben tightened, and he sighed.

Stammering the word "fuck" a few more times, he tightened himself around his husband, moans now louder than he'd been before, and his body growing weaker with every thrust from Hullahaz.

His moans almost sounded like he was going to cry, but there were no tears. It was growing very difficult for Ben to hold himself up.

Hullahaz wondered if it would be a problem that Ben was being so loud, and he tried the first thing that came to mind- talking to him. Even as he pounded roughly into him, maybe he could make it seem like just a loud conversation...

"I've been thinkin' about forkin' my tongue... Should I..."

Fuck, talking was hard when he felt so good.

It was hard for Ben to even really register the words. He dropped back down to the bed and let his moans become more breathy, letting his arms fall back beside his head. Glancing down, he watched Hullahaz's body as he pushed hard into him, and the arousing sight made his cock throb, causing him to whimper again.

Noticing his intense arousal, he reached for Ben's arm, letting go of him in the process, as he slowly brought their hands down to Ben's cock. "Here... Stroke it or you're gonna go insane."

The new angle, small change as it was, enabled Hullahaz to pound into him at a different pace with similar effects.

Ben was thankful for Hullahaz helping him down to his own cock, and taking it in his hand, began lazily stroking himself. It took less energy for him to just hold his hand in place and angle his hips a bit so the motions provided the energy. With a long sigh, he felt a bit better, still lost in the sensation though.

And then the pounding began to get rougher- or faster, perhaps. Hullahaz was inches from Ben's face, spreading his legs so he'd be able to get the best possible angle to fuck him in. His tattoos rippled and swayed like some sort of hypnotic monster's lure.

His eyes, the only splash of color on the man, were full of fire. _Lust_.

It wasn't gonna take much more for Ben to reach orgasm again, and within a minute he cried out in ecstasy, more energy behind his ejaculation than he'd anticipated. Cum landed on his husband's torso, dripping down onto Ben. The feeling of the second climax was rippling through him and his remaining energy was draining as the sensations ebbed away.

He couldn't help himself. The force of Ben's orgasm awoke something within him that made him unable to hold back. Filling his hole with his cum, Hullahaz leaned forward and planted his lips to Ben's, roughly and firmly, his last powerful thrusts using up the last of his energy.

Ben closed his eyes and completely melted into the kiss, pushing up into his lips for as long as he could. Completely exhausted, he let his head drop back down to the pillow and turned to the side a bit, panting quietly.

He didn't really move, instead choosing to lay there until he had enough energy to clean himself up.

Hullahaz moved away after a moment, completely silent as he cleaned himself up and walked over (slowly) to the sink to refresh himself. He neglected to put his uniform on as he sparked up a cigarette with the method he was used to (Kingston's abandoned glasses and the sun- it took forever, but it was all he had) and took a long drag. The setting sun kissed his tattooed skin, yet it gave him an almost ghoulish appearance as it created his silhouette.

Ben stayed on the bed for a good five minutes. When he finally opened his eyes, he looked over at Hullahaz to see him smoking by the window. With great effort, he pushed himself up, scooting to the edge of the bed. Arms to the side supporting him, he sat there getting used to being upright, although he did leak a bit onto the floor.

"We gotta clean it up," he announced after a moment, speaking through wisps of smoke. He licked his teeth before disposing of his cigarette in the sink. "You sure took it."

A compliment, or an attempt. Not really intending to have Ben do anything, he moved over to the bed and grabbed the tissues, getting to work on what he could.

Ben reached for a tissue as well, using it to clean himself up as best he could He realized he should probably make a trip to the bathroom, but for now, he could manage having gotten out what he could (as much as he wanted to keep Hullahaz's cum inside of him for whatever kinky reason).

Leaning down to pick up his uniform, he began pulling it on, ignoring the small spot where it had been stained earlier.

Hullahaz, for extra measure, balled up his bedding and put it in the laundry basket, coughing as he checked under the bed for his replacement sheet. Tossing away his tissues, he got to making the bed without barely making a sound.

This was how it always was- conversation between them was strongly one-sided. The only difference was this time they'd kissed.

Ben climbed up onto his bed and laid down face-first, closing his eyes and relaxing. He'd probably be able to take a nap before dinner, though he wasn't sure if he'd have the energy later.

But he didn't want to leave Roger hanging if he would be waiting for him, so he was determined not to oversleep.

He remained silent lying on his own bed, and he made no comment when Kingston and McDonagh yelled at him to put some clothes on. He didn't want to. He had too much on his mind.

The Irishman sported a brand new bruise, but Kingston seemed to be beaming. His plant was doing well, and the two of them were hungry.

Ben woke up when the men entered, looking down at the men. Kingston didn't seem bothered by earlier anymore, which relieved him. Looking out at the clock, he realized it was almost dinnertime. He rubbed his eyes and slid down from the bed, still a bit shaky.

Hullahaz remained naked until he was told to leave the cell for dinner, at which point he reluctantly donned his uniform and headed out of the cell to be cuffed.

Kingston made a passing comment about how that was what good sex looked like, to which McDonagh responded with a punch to the arm.

Ben felt as though he'd spent plenty of time with Hullahaz already, and hoped he wouldn't mind if he spent his dinner with Roger. Looking around the prison cafeteria, he hoped he'd see him, his heart racing as his mind trailed back to their earlier kiss.

He didn't mind. He barely reacted to Ben's absence, in fact. It's as if he were locked inside his own mind, eyes absent.

Roger had bandages on his knuckles, but aside from that he looked alright. He smiled up at Ben and gave him a little nod.

Ben jogged over and sat beside him closely, though not too closely to make anyone suspicious. Smiling at him, he rested his arms on the table and looked over at him, deciding not to eat anything at the moment.

"Hey."

"Hello." He picked at his bandages and took a bite of his soup- it didn't taste like much. "You've got a glow to you. Get some?"

He'd learned to observe and recognize healthy behaviors in the prison. They usually filled him with rage.

Ben smirked for a moment. "Yeah, you could say that." He didn't really want to make his day the topic of conversation, preferring to give attention to Roger. "Your day been alright?"

"Oh, yeah. I mean, it's only been a few hours since you saw me, but... Things have been alright." He nodded and smiled, handing his bread to Ben to see if he'd eat something.

Ben smiled as he took the food Roger offered and nibbled on it. "That's good. I was just hoping you'd managed to have a good day, or continue to have a good day or something." He felt like he was tripping over himself.

Roger laughed a bit and gave Ben a discreet hand squeeze under the table. "Yeah, I think I will," he lied. "Hopefully Connors' suggestion to have movie night will be approved and we can enjoy some cheesy, outdated flick sometime soon."

Ben giggled. "That'd be nice."

The hand squeeze made him a bit excited and he was suddenly hit with the desire (and energy) to go outside and find someplace to spend part of the evening with Roger. Being around him charged him with protectiveness, and he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

Roger knew Ben would want time with him, so he finished his soup quickly and got up, but not before asking Ben if he was sure he didn't want to eat anything substantial.

"I know it's shit, but..."

Ben waved his hand. "Nah. I'll bank on breakfast tomorrow, since I _know_ it'll taste better than this."

Tossing out the small bit of bread left, he got up and kept close to Roger, excitedly wondering where they'd go this time.

"Yeah... We _really_ need a new cook. Your friend Kingston hasn't stepped up yet, has he...?" He always sort of assumed the blonde had suggested working in the kitchen as a joke, but he was willing to bet his food would be far better.

Walking out to the courtyard, Roger decided to head to the soccer field. It wasn't very exciting, but the grass felt nice, and the moon was bright.

Ben laughed. "No, but I think I might ask him to."

Following Roger, his breath quickened. The night sky was quite gorgeous, and being alone with the other man only made all of his feelings stronger. There were guards off in the distance, but considering the two of them weren't doing anything sketchy, none of them kept near them.

He sat by the goalpost, looking up at the sky for a bit before looking over at Ben. He smiled at him before pulling off one of his bandages- a bright green one.

"I know it won't seem this way to you, but to me it looks like you really hit it off with the guys in your cell. You look... Healthy."

Putting the bandage on Ben's nose, he laughed. "Maybe try looking a little more miserable, people are gonna get jealous..."

Ben shook his head a little bit when the bandage was put on his nose, and he giggled. "I mean, I probably did get really lucky, but it wasn't like it was all that easy to get there. Or maybe it was."

Knowing how Roger was so often in a far worse state, he didn't want to ramble about how great things were for him.

"I mean, I guess I did make it past the infamous one-week limit, and that's something."

"Yeah, you really lucked out. You have angels on your side, Ben." And it was clear who those angels were, but he said nothing. He did open his mouth to mention something, but he decided against it, shaking his head.

"The rest of your time will be easier here, I'm sure of it. You're only in for a year, right? You'll be fine."

He turned to smile at him, and his sad eyes seemed to reflect that he was talking to more than just Ben.

Ben moved a bit closer to him and slowly wrapped an arm around his shoulders. It was hard to see Roger talk about this and seem so... _sad_.

"You will be too. We have each other... which is something, right?" He wasn't quite sure what to say.

"Yeah." He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded, leaning against Ben. "Yeah, we got each other."

Roger knew he wouldn't be fine, but he didn't want to think about it. He didn't want Ben to think he was jealous or asking for pity.

"Just one year..."

Ben caressed him and leaned his head on Roger's, sliding one of his hands into the other man's and holding it gently.

"Hopefully it'll pass by quickly." Pausing for a moment, he sighed.

"Any plans for when you're out?"

Roger looked up at Ben for a moment, simply taking him in in complete silence. He looked _handsome as hell_ in the moonlight, a lot less boyish than during the day...

He didn't want to think about it.

"Rehab," he chuckled. "And you?"

Ben smiled and shrugged.

"If I keep up with assembly, maybe a mechanic. Something that isn't being a hooker I guess." He squeezed him a little bit with his arms.

"But it's nice to hear about you wanting to go to rehab. If..... we still know each other afterwards....." Trailing off, he bit his lip, "I'd like to spend time with you. I could help you through rehab if you want, or after rehab or whatever."

“That sounds like a great idea. And I mean... Just googling my name and adding 'heroin' will probably give you my location really quickly," he laughed, trying to make light of the situation. The truth of the matter was that he knew he'd never make it out alive.

"Hearing you say you wanna spend time with me... I dunno. It makes me feel... It makes me feel cared for."

He didn't want to cry, but it was hard to keep it together when shown kindness.

Ben laughed, but he was still concerned. Since heroin had never really been involved in their time together, Ben often forgot that Roger was an addict, and it was difficult for him to think about him using it without getting an awful feeling in his stomach.

Trying to settle the growing pit he felt, he wrapped his arms around Roger and closed his eyes, holding him closely but not roughly at all.

"Well good, because I care a _lot_ about you..."

Roger couldn't help but let a tear trickle down his cheek, but he quickly wiped it away and kissed Ben's jaw gently. He knew he shouldn't, that the greenhouse was the place for that (if there was a place at all), and that Ben was Hullahaz's and that he couldn't intervene.

Not only that, but he knew what he'd been trying to do meant he didn't deserve to be anywhere near Ben. Yet still...

"Thank you..."

Ben noticed Roger wiping away a tear and he placed a hand on his cheek, stroking him with his thumb.

"You're welcome..." As much as Ben wanted to tell him "Anything for you, because I love you," he decided not to. _It wouldn't help anything_.

Giving him a small kiss back, he felt himself well up too, the amount of love he felt for the man in his arms almost overwhelming him.

He leaned into Ben's touch, sighing softly. He didn't want to show weakness. That was the last thing he wanted. He wanted Ben to believe everything was fine on his end.

"But take care of yourself first, okay?" He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve any of it. The kindness, the pain... None of it.

He wanted to run away, to go somewhere safe where he could cry in peace. Out in the open he didn't feel as safe... But nowhere was truly safe, was it? He sighed and decided to lie back on the grass.

Ben moved with him and reclined beside him, keeping an arm over him so he wouldn't be too far away. Scooting closer, he put his knee up over the other man and pulled himself up against him, stopping for a moment when he began blushing.

"I-I hope you don't mind... I guess I'm just... feeling affectionate..."

Feeling guilty for not asking if what he was doing was okay, he began to pull away, still keeping at least a hand on Roger's chest.

Roger's breath stopped for a moment, his eyes wide with fear. If anyone out here saw them, even if it was in the dark, there could be insane amounts of trouble.

When Ben moved away, he breathed deeply. He didn't want to send the wrong message, though, so he nodded and put a hand over Ben's.

"It's okay. Just... Be careful... They don't like it when the bottom feeders get too close."

Ben nodded. It made sense that it was like that. If they stuck together, they'd be less vulnerable, and that threatened those who enjoyed dominating the weaker inmates.

Moving just a bit closer again, Ben sighed. "I wish we could just lie out here together tonight. Most nights. It'd be nice."

"I wish we could too, but we'd get our asses kicked," Roger laughed, and he was just about to put a hand to Ben's hair when he saw a guard approaching.

Instantly, he gasped and began to sit up.

"Hey, you two. Lights out. Time to go back in."

Ben jumped a bit when he heard the guard, but nodded obediently and stood up, helping Roger up as well.

He wanted to walk him to his cell, but knew the guards would escort them separately once they were inside. As they walked, he gave a sad, but caring look to Roger and mouthed an "I love you" before having to leave him for his own cell.

Roger blushed a bit and smiled, and whatever he mouthed back was lost as he was tugged away and escorted back to his cell, his true prison.

He'd try to forget tonight. He'd try to block it all out. And soon... Soon he'd have to tell them what he'd decided. But maybe not if he kept them happy..

Ben walked into the cell, and although he was happy to see Hullahaz, he found the rest of his energy drained from his body and quickly climbed into bed before he lost the will to do even that. Muttering down a goodnight to everyone, he passed out on his bed in mere minutes

Hullahaz said and did nothing, but inside he was aching to see Ben sleep in his own bed. Why? Why did he care so much? Why did he care _at all_? This was a mutually beneficial arrangement, not friendship or worse.

He hated to admit he was going soft. He hated even more that Ben had a better grasp on their relationship than he did.

In the morning, Ben woke up early, earlier than everyone else. He'd managed to get a full night of sleep (no nightmares this time), and sliding down the ladder of his bunk, stretched and yawned, walking over to the window to look outside.

It was almost hard for him to believe that less than 12 hours ago he'd been sitting outside looking up at that sky, even though it was dark then, with Roger, and his heart panged as he wanted to go find him. Breakfast wasn't for another hour though, and he'd have to kill the time.

Ben's thoughts trailed back over to Hullahaz, and wanting to keep the feelings going, sat down on the edge of his bed and watched him sleep a bit, feeling at peace. _If he wakes up, I hope he doesn't find it creepy that I'm watching him...._

Hullahaz didn't take so long to wake up this time, and meeting eyes with Ben made him... Slightly uncomfortable. He turned around with a gentle sigh and tried to get some more sleep. But it wouldn't happen.

Anger began to rise in his chest. Anger at himself. Anger at Ben, too. What did he want? What did he feel?

What did either of them?

With a grunt, he sat up slowly and reached around for a cigarette... He was out. "Fuck."

Ben noticed how Hullahaz looked at him, and he shrunk back a bit. Once his cell mate started moving though, he stood up and moved back, hugging an arm.

"Cigarettes?" It wasn't like Ben knew where to get them, or could at this hour, but he figured he should offer some kind of indication that he cared.

"Yeah. I'm dry," he murmured, and he felt guilty at how it seemed Ben was shrinking from him. Why was he feeling so many fucking things?

Maybe this arrangement had been a bad idea.

"Gonna have to... Get more..."

Ben moved closer again, sitting carefully on his bed. Hullahaz seemed off to him, and he wanted to try and make him feel better. Casting a soft smile, Ben murmured, "I can help you get some if you want."

He was trying anything to make him cheer up. After yesterday he thought that things would be swell between them, but it almost felt like his husband was _retreating_ somehow.

Was it because of the kiss?

"Would ya? I'd pay you back," he replied quietly, flexing his fingers and trying his best not to move away. If he did, he'd be admitting he had a problem.

"On the one day they let me blow my cash." He was keeping a book of how many people he owed, but he knew said people would be shocked he intended to pay them back at all.

Then all could be forgotten, he thought. Ben would go back to being his prison wife and he didn't have to think about what that meant.

Ben tilted his head. "You don't have to pay me back. But I'll make sure to grab you some first chance I get."

Standing up, Ben walked over to his belongings and pulled out a small wad of cash, stuffing it into his pocket. He wandered back over to Hullahaz's bed and sat down again, messing with his fingers a bit.

"I'd go now if I could, but, well, you know."

"But I'm gonna," he assured, running a hair through his mohawk. He wanted to scream, his head was pounding... He wished he had a cigarette _right now_. But he'd wait.

As minutes went by with him staring at the ground, he eventually turned to Ben and asked, "You don't really like me, do you?"

Kingston began to stir.

The words hit him like a punch to the gut, and Ben quickly turned to face him. "Why do you say that?"

He certainly liked Hullahaz, maybe even _loved_ him, and his thoughts began to race as to why he'd say such a thing.

"'Cause if you do, you shouldn't. Only bad shit comes from likin' people in here." He looked back ahead, watching as Kingston started to sit up.

"Remember that."

He was reminding himself.

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat. _Does he know about Roger?_

"O-oh..."

Perhaps he had been getting too close.... to _both_ of them.

_It WAS the kiss...._

His mood shot, Ben let his head droop a bit, and he stood up, walking over to one of the chairs to sit down, facing the wall and resting his head on his arms, which he folded and rested on the table.

Great. He'd gone and made Ben miserable, and worst of all, it bothered him. It felt terrible. He already cared, and in order to stop he'd have to distance himself from Ben.

It wouldn't matter.

He had that addict friend of his.

He felt his hands grip around his blanket in frustration, and Kingston waking McDonagh up for breakfast was actually a relief.

The doors opened a half hour before breakfast, and Ben took that time to slip out and go purchase the cigarettes for Hullahaz. He made his way to the office quickly, but found he just felt too upset to return immediately. Finding an empty, dark corner to sit in, he curled his legs up and hugged them, holding the box of cigarettes in his hand and staring at it, tears welling up (which he held back).

It was a different brand than his father smoked, but then again, his dad smoked cigarettes that were arguably better than the ones they sold in prison.

Ben didn't care. He simply noticed it.

Hullahaz had begun to wonder where Ben was, but as he was unable to look for him (or even show he cared) he merely waited for him to return. He considered speaking to his other cellmates, but seeing as they were already playfully wrestling, he decided against it.

McDonagh told him to lighten the fuck up, though, as he had the nicest guy in the prison at his disposal.

Hullahaz merely flinched.

Finally finding the strength to return to his cell (eyes red from holding back tears, though it was fading), Ben didn't really emote all that much upon returning. He handed Hullahaz the pack and offered him a smile, which he instantly dropped once he was no longer facing him. Sitting down on the floor, he leaned back against the wall and stretched his legs out as he waited for breakfast to start.

Ben didn't know exactly _why_ he felt so unhappy, but the implication that Hullahaz neither really cared about him, nor that Ben should allow himself to feel anything for him upset him.

Was he making up all the feelings in his head that he had for his husband? He liked his company, he liked having sex with him, of course he enjoyed the protection, but Ben did _care_ about him in return. He'd even appreciated the kiss, which he didn't expect, and at the time made him feel even more cared for.

But now it seemed like Hullahaz just.... didn't care as much. Or something.

The tattooed man did appreciate the cigarettes, though, so after he'd managed to spark one up, he placed a gentle hand on Ben's shoulder and gave it a pat.

"Thanks."

McDonagh tried to conceal a smile, but it failed. Luckily Kingston annihilated his face entirely by throwing a pillow at him.

Ben looked up at Hullahaz, appreciative of the thanks. "You're welcome." He didn't say any more though. Glancing over at McDonagh and Kingston, he said a rather flat "what."

McDonagh looked at him curiously, holding a pillow high over Kingston's head. "What what? Never seen a pillow fight? Do they not have those in Asia?"

He was teasing, but Kingston's eyes lit up.

"Wait, you're actually Asian? I thought that was a rumor!"

Ben bristled a bit. "Yeah, like my yellow skin and slanty eyes didn't tell you _that_." He paused. "And by the way, I'm _Korean_." The final words were utterly spat out, and he looked straight ahead again, glaring.

All he had to do was wait a few more minutes....

"Korea is in Asia, though, right?" Kingston got elbowed before he could continue. "Fuck, fine! Just trying to remember. Sheesh."

McDonagh shook his head. "Okay, so a bug crawled up your ass. Too bad. Guess it's not my problem, though," he said as he left the room, and turning to Hullahaz, he grinned.

"It's yours."

Ben reached for the closest thing to him (a shoe) and threw it at McDonagh has he left, snarling quietly. Turning to face Kingston, he spoke angrily, grasping the other shoe on the floor.

"Any more stupid comments?"

He didn't know where this sudden anger was coming from, but all he knew was he wanted dumb and dumber to be gone from the cell (though at least dumb was already gone).

"Sheesh, dude! Did your dog die?" Kingston hurried to the exit and completely neglected to put on his pants. Hurrying back in, he grabbed them off his bed. "If your dog did die, I'm sorry."

He was gone.

Hullahaz sighed and stretched before seeing his guard approaching. "Be careful."

Ben gritted his teeth, tightening his grip on the shoe. He wouldn't throw it at Hullahaz, but it was the thing in his hand that he had available to take his anger out on. Waiting for his cellmate to leave, he picked up the shoe and threw it hard against the wall, a few tears trickling out of his eyes.

He was hungry, which was undoubtedly contributing, but he wanted to be around neither his cell mates in _any_ capacity, nor Roger, who didn't deserve to deal with his anger.

Clutching his stomach as it rumbled, he leaned his head back against the wall and let his mouth open up, tears slipping down his face as he quietly cried.

He didn't like how he felt.

Despite not seeing him at breakfast and firmly believing it wasn't his problem, McDonagh left a muffin at the edge of his bed before he collected his stuff to go shower.

He didn't care how Ben felt about him. If he starved, the rest of them would be held accountable and the system would find some way to extend their sentence, surely.

Like hell was he risking that.

Kingston was at the greenhouse, but he kept thinking about what could have made Ben so agitated. Unsurprisingly, he came up with nothing.

Hullahaz was taken out to the courtyard to perform his required exercises, and all he could think of was how bad Ben looked before he'd left.

Ben ate the muffin that was left for him and headed out to assembly mindlessly. While he was there, he thought about how much he wanted to hold Roger and be cheered up by him, but also how much he wanted to be held and cheered up by _Hullahaz_ , and yet he felt like the latter would push him away if he tried.

He just felt numb.

Avoiding lunch, he felt just as hungry, and instead found himself wandering out towards the greenhouse, hoping Kingston would be gone. The place was empty, and he slowly walked around inside until he found the purple flowers that Roger had showed him the day before. Pulling up a stool, he moved them onto a table and sat down, leaning forward as he rested his head on his arms and stared at the plant, sighing.

The younger man in question made his way to the greenhouse a few minutes later, holding a sandwich. He approached Ben quietly, not wanting to disturb him, but he wore a sort of soft smile.

"I thought I'd find you here..."

He hadn't forgotten about meeting there with him. Of course not. He'd thought all night about it...

"I brought you this."

Ben perked up at the sound of Roger's soft voice and turned around, wiping the blurriness from his eyes. Spotting the sandwich, he smiled a bit, and leaning over to pull close another stool, moved his back a bit to allow Roger to sit down.

He was glad that he wasn't still feeling angry at the very least, but he remembered how he'd been told not to show any weakness, and crying didn't help that.

Roger gave his arm a pat and he softly said he'd go check on Kingston's plant again. He hoped Ben would have begun eating by the time he got back...

A few moments later, he settled down in the stool. "Sorry I didn't bring you a drink. I didn't have time..."

He wanted to comment on how Ben looked upset, but he didn't want to make it worse.

Ben slowly started nibbling on the sandwich, eating more in each bite as he got used to eating it.

Watching Roger sit back down, he scooted a bit closer and sighed. "Thanks for bringing the sandwich. I didn't eat breakfast, or lunch, or last night..." Groaning, he rubbed his eyes again. Not eating was his first way of dealing with stress.

"I know."

It was all he said at first, hand on Ben's arm in a comforting gesture.

"It's why I brought it. I figured you'd skipped breakfast again." He hadn't been there, having been unable to walk, but he'd just had a hunch.

He knew these things now.

Ben looked up at him when his arm was touched and his face softened.

"Yeah..."

Having eaten half of the sandwich, he placed it down and moved closer to Roger, leaning forward against him. He didn't make any moves to be more affectionate; he just wanted to feel comforted.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered, rubbing Ben's arm. His bandages were gone, revealing bloody knuckles.

It hardly mattered how he'd gotten them.

"Maybe not for a while, but it's gonna sometime," he reaffirmed, nodding slowly. Half a sandwich was better than none.

Ben closed his eyes and took Roger's hand, stroking his fingers with his thumb, when felt the skin near his knuckles. Looking down, he saw that they were wounded, and his blood boiled.

For this long, he had chosen to ignore the bruises and wounds on Roger's body, but today had been finding new ways of driving him up the wall, and he couldn't resist any longer.

Moving his other hand to Roger's hand, he closed his eyes, his face turning into a snarl.

"Who keeps hurting you?"

"Wha- No- no one! This is..." He closed his eyes, trying not to recoil from the sudden anger Ben was radiating. Had he been having a bad day? Had Roger made a mistake in invading his space?

"Yesterday, I was feeling antsy. I... I couldn't find any release, and thoughts kept bubbling up in my head, so I... I went outside and..."

He looked down, tilting his head sadly. "I punched a wall."

A half-smile formed on his face, his fingers tightening around Ben's hand. "I know, I'm pathetic."

Ben held Roger's had a bit tighter as he listened, but released the pressure as soon as he realized he was doing it. _No need to make him anxious_.

Looking up into Roger's eyes, his snarl dropped back down into a frown.

"You're not pathetic... and I'm just... worried. You have all these bruises on you, and injuries..." It seemed a lot more would be spilling out from him today.

He glanced down and away. "Sorry, it's not even my place to ask. You don't have to answer."

"It's... It's just standard prison fare, Ben. There's nothing I can do about it." _Not without hurting you_. He shook his head slowly and smiled a little wider.

"I'm... I'm okay. You don't need to worry about me. Worry about yourself, so you don't end up hurt." Like me. "Or punching walls, which you seem to wanna do already."

Putting a hand to Ben's cheek, he stroked it a bit. "Don't let it consume you, okay? Anger hurts you too."

Ben sniffled a bit. "Yeah, I know..."

He didn't _want_ to be angry. Fortunately, being close to Roger helped him feel better.

"I'll feel better soon, I might just need a little time." Glancing back over at the flowers, a small smile creased his lips. "They helped a bit."

"I know, sometimes it's hard to let go of things, yeah?" He ran a hand through Ben's hair before smiling at the flowers. "Just imagine how much nicer they'll be in the wild once we're out of here."

He turned his body to face Ben entirely, his eyes becoming more suggestive than comforting.

"I haven't forgotten why you're here, either."

Ben felt warmth in his chest, but not like the anger he felt earlier, as he looked into Roger's eyes. His smile grew wider.

"Yeah." Moving a bit closer, he let his eyelids droop and licked his bottom lip a little bit.

Roger reached for the back of Ben's head and pulled him closer, being gentle in his movements, yet decisive. He took a moment to enjoy his face before softly kissing him.

Honestly, he couldn't remember the last time he'd been kissed in prison. Had he been before Ben?

Ben spread his legs out a bit so he could move a bit closer, wrapping an arm around Roger's back. The other man's lips were soft, and Ben couldn't resist flicking his tongue out across Roger's bottom lip as they kissed. He slipped his tongue further into his mouth in order to entice him to use his own as well. Placing his other hand on the side of Roger's head, he ran his fingers through the inmate's hair, sighing lightly.

Roger did wonder if this was what love felt like. Sliding his tongue against Ben's, he moaned ever so quietly, his hands busying themselves with holding onto the back of Ben's uniform. He felt an urge to be closer, and so he nearly slid off the stool and into Ben's lap...

Ben smiled a little bit when he felt Roger using his tongue, and not wasting any time, he gently sucked it into his mouth, letting it slowly slip out. He began pushing in a bit deeper, avoiding being rough, as he tugged a little bit on Roger's back subconsciously, almost wanting him to be on his lap.

Everything about the kiss felt incredible...

He could feel his cheeks reddening and his eyes rolling back... this was how it was supposed to feel. Letting his tongue be sucked on, he slowly began sliding his hands up and down Ben's back, tilting his head every so often to give his partner different angles of access to his mouth.

Unable to resist, he slid himself into Ben's lap.

Ben exhaled deeply when he felt the other man on top of him, which only made him kiss him that much more. Now with the lack of space between them, he wrapped his one arm around Roger fully, the other one still stroking his ear with his thumb.

Opening his eyes briefly, although they were close together, Ben felt his heart swell at how _beautiful_ the other man looked, and he reluctantly closed his eyes once again to focus on the kiss.

He felt so at peace in Ben's arms, and he tried to hold onto that feeling as opposed to the guilt bubbling up inside him. He had to feel more...

He began to push against Ben slightly, his tongue now trying to enter his mouth in turn.

Every time he moved away just a tiny bit to initiate a new kiss, he'd whimper. He knew now why everyone in the prison wanted a piece of this man.

Ben felt all his anger from earlier melting away with every whimper he heard from Roger. A slight tightness in his pants, however, worried him. As much as it made _sense_ that he would be aroused from this, he didn't want to come on too strongly to the other man, and he pulled away a little bit to try and calm himself, taking a few deep breaths.

He looked into Roger's eyes and once again the burning passion overtook him. Pulling him in for another kiss, he completely forgetting why he pulled away in the first place.

Roger looked into Ben's eyes as he moved away, red faced and panting, almost about to ask why he'd moved away when he was pulled into another kiss. He moaned into the kiss this time, unable to contain the burning that was spreading through him.

At this rate he'd get an obvious boner... oh no. He had to think of something... dead puppies or something.

It didn't work, and Roger found himself moaning louder, pushing into Ben's kisses.

The hand on Roger's backside slid down to just above his ass, and Ben held him gently, sliding his other hand down Roger's chest and trailing his fingers along his ribcage. Sighing a little louder, Ben pushed up into the kiss and licked the inside of the other man's lips, gliding his tongue over his teeth before twirling around Roger's tongue as well.

This wasn't fair. Ben had to be hot for a living, so of course it was driving Roger insane! With all his energy, he focused on shutting off his mind and bringing the intense kissing to a close. He had an idea.

Looking into Ben's eyes as he moved away slowly, he whispered. "Meet me here after dark... yeah?"

Ben whimpered a bit, not wanting it to end, but the promise of continuing later on was enough to get him to stop kissing him.

"A-alright..." His head was in a bit of a spin after all the making out, and it took him a moment to clear his head enough to really register what was happening.

Roger kissed his forehead and began to move away, taking a few deep breaths as he straightened himself out, rearranging his uniform to make his boner less obvious. He didn't need trouble.

Smiling at Ben, he made his way to the exit. "I... really enjoyed that. I love... I love spending time with you."

Ben was also trying to hide his erection, and he brought the sandwich with him as he followed Roger out.

"Me too, with you..." Words were still not really coming to him all that well. "I'll... see you later then? Here?" He smiled a bit sheepishly.

Roger nodded, and with a final smile and a wave, he was off.

…

He barely ate at all that night, from nerves and excitement all at once. Waiting in the greenhouse, with all the lights off, he fiddled with his fingers and tried not to chew through his lip.

Ben slipped into the greenhouse quietly. He looked forward to continuing what he'd done earlier with Roger, and now he was finally able to. Holding his breath as he looked around, he could see the figure of someone standing around in the dark.

"Roger, is that you?" He whispered.

Without hesitation, Roger ran up to Ben and cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a firm, excited kiss.

"Yes", he whispered after reluctantly pulling away. As if Ben needed more confirmation.

Ben felt his heart leap out of his chest and reach for Roger as he felt the familiar sensation of their lips touching.

In an instant, he'd pulled him back into another kiss, pushing firmly as he gently pulled him closer to the floor. Snaking his tongue into Roger's mouth, he teased him, all while sliding his hand up and down the man's back.

He was going to suggest that they sit over by the wall, but it seemed Ben had similar and more immediate plans. Losing himself to the kiss, Roger dropped to the floor and began eagerly sucking on Ben's tongue, hands gliding up and down his torso.

He was soon brave enough to let them drop a little lower, his cheeks heating up as he bit Ben's bottom lip.

Ben breathed heavily and felt his erection from earlier coming back with even more energy. Sliding his hand to Roger's thigh, he pulled him close and gently rubbed him with his thumb, pushing up against him with his hips and panting through the kisses.

Roger obliged quite eagerly, hands sliding down to grasp at Ben's cock through his uniform, tiny moans making the other know that he was getting aroused as well. He moved away to begin kissing at Ben's neck, hands gently stroking him through the fabric.

Ben opted to let Roger command the majority of the groping, as much as he wanted to do some back, and under his hand he groaned, cock throbbing hard.

_At this rate I'll HAVE to pull down my uniform..._

In response, Ben pushed up into the kisses on his neck, and he moaned a bit in return.

After kissing about for a good while, Roger reached down and pulled on Ben's zipper. He looked up at the black haired man and tilted his head, expecting to be told what to do.

"I...  can't do much else but... I figure I'd do something no one could notice..."

He took a moment to appreciate just how cute Ben looked in the dark.

Ben wondered if Roger was suggesting what he thought he was suggesting, and if he was, he wanted to try and give back somehow.

"Can I do something back for you too?" Placing his hand on Roger's groin, he gently stroked him, leaning in to give him another kiss.

He shivered slightly and all at once realized he didn't want Ben seeing the state of his body. He bit his lip and closed his eyes.

"Maybe... maybe you could just stroke it a while once I'm done... if you want! You don't have to..."

Pulling Ben's zipper down entirely, he let his hands touch Ben's warmth directly. He sighed softly.

Ben nodded, moving his hand up to Roger's head, stroking his hair.

The feeling of the man's hand on him made him moan a bit, and he struggled to keep his eyes open, wanting to watch Roger in the low light, but also being swept up in pleasure.

He scooted back just enough to softly nuzzle Ben's cock, breathing deeply.

He wanted to say 'wow, it's actually clean', but ended up murmuring "You smell so nice" instead. Great. Now Ben would think he was a weirdo.

His tongue gently prodded at Ben's shaft, waiting to see if he was fully erect or still had some growing to do.

Ben blushed and softly chuckled.

"T-thanks..." For once he was almost feeling a bit nervous, but more for Roger's sake than his own.

Having his cock teased directly was enough for his already strong erection to throb yet again, and he sighed deeply, biting his lip.

Roger let his tongue glide up and down Ben's shaft, shifting to show his head some affection by pressing the underside of his tongue to it to get it nice and wet.

He moaned quietly, fingertips caressing the base as he took in his flavor.

A longer moan slipped out as Ben panted, gently holding Roger's hair. It felt so _good_ to have him playing with his cock like this, and he wished he could give it back to Roger.

Under his breath he muttered the word "fuck" as he felt himself melting.

It was the first time since he'd arrived at the prison that Roger felt glad to hear that word. Letting his tongue slip down a bit, he pushed it up to Ben's foreskin, sighing blissfully as he did so.

All his cellmates were cut.

Pressing his lips to it, he tugged on it gently, exposing more of Ben's head. How long could he do this until Ben was begging for him to suck?

Ben began instinctively pushing down on Roger's head wanting him to take him in his mouth, and he licked his lips.

"P-please...."

There it was. With a soft smile, Roger pushed Ben into his mouth, inching him down his throat until, without warning, he took his whole length.

It was so firm and smooth...he felt his eyes close as he sucked.

Ben released a long moan as he slipped deep into Roger's mouth, and his eyelids growing heavy, used the last bit of energy he had in that moment to gaze upon the other man sucking him off.

Leaning back, hand still on Roger's head, he closed his eyes and lost himself to the sensation, moaning every so often.

Roger was no amateur at this, but it was the first time he'd willingly sucked someone off, so he was enjoying himself. Tongue pressed firmly to Ben's shaft, he seemed intent on swallowing him whole.

Sliding him out was a slow process, and it was met with sliding him back in twice as fast.

Ben gasped and blushed hard, covering up his mouth with his other hand. Roger was doing such a good job, that he knew he wouldn't last all that long. Which was a shame, because he was _really_ enjoying himself.

" _Rog_....." he couldn't help but whisper out his name.

Casting Ben a glance as his name was spoken, he kept their eyes locked as he began kissing and sucking down his shaft, all the way to his balls. He licked and sucked on them intently, eyes closing again from pleasure.

He was keeping quiet, though, because he wanted to hear Ben instead.

Ben looked into Roger's eyes with as much warmth and care as he could muster in his current state. His moans became breathy, and he felt his cock twitch in the other man's mouth.

" _I love you_..."

 _Don't say that_ , he wanted to reply, _you don't mean it. You don't know me_.

Instead of speaking, Roger just deepthroated Ben's cock again. It was nicer for everyone that way.

His hands squeezed his balls firmly, red knuckles turning whiter as he massaged his friend.

Ben whimpered and whined as he was toyed with and started to feel his orgasm creeping up on him. It was hard not to with all the good things Roger was doing.

_Not long now..._

Giving special attention to Ben's head, Roger was unable to hold back a moan as he stroked his shaft with one hand while sucking hard, other hand still busy with his balls.

He wished he could do this forever.

"R-Rog, I'm gonna cum-"

The orgasm shot through his body and he gasped, cumming hard. He gripped Roger's head firmly as he gritted his teeth, riding it out.

Roger's eyes rolled back as he took in every last drop, hungrily swallowing it down while also relishing the taste. He'd probably never get to taste it again...

It took him a while to pull away, but when he did, he cleaned off Ben's head before licking his lips.

Ben panted slowly, watching as Roger pulled off of him, and he pushed himself up from the ground.

Moving closer to Roger, he pulled his head up into a tender kiss, closing his eyes as his hand trailed down to the zipper on Roger's uniform.

He couldn't help but moan into the kiss, body arching up into Ben's touch. He'd never been given anything in return... it was exciting, yet scary.

What if he became addicted to this too?

Ben's kisses deepened as his hand found its way onto Roger's cock, and sighing lightly, he gently held him, his tip gently held under his thumb as this strokes started out slow.

Roger's head tilted back, but he pressed himself into Ben's hold, wanting to be embraced. His body shook slightly, both from pleasure and withdrawal, and he whimpered with each stroke of Ben's thumb.

Sitting forward a bit more, Ben wrapped his other arm around Roger, gradually picking up the pace with his hand.

His kisses were all as gentle and caring as the ones before, and he felt his heart swell again.

Roger whimpered and brought a hand up to clutch at Ben's shirt. His eyes were closed, his cheeks were pink and when he wasn't being kissed, and his mouth was slightly parted in the cutest o-face.

"Ben..." he whined quietly, hips rocking back and forth.

Hearing Roger speak his name only served to hasten his pace, as his mouth dropped open a bit. He still continued kissing him, sliding his tongue into his mouth as he worked Roger's cock passionately.

Gripping Ben's shirt tighter, Roger could feel precum leak into Ben's hand. He felt so embarrassed... he must seem so easy!

Whimpering a little louder, he pressed into the kiss to try and quiet himself.

Ben smiled as he felt the precum, and used it as lube on his hand to glide over him that much more easily.

Gently biting Roger's lip, he opened his eyes and saw the other man looking desperate to keep quiet, but succumbing to the pleasure. It made Ben feel extremely pleased with himself.

Shuddering hard, Roger lost control and pressed his face to Ben's shoulder, his climax shooting cum upwards into his own chest and, of course, Ben's hand.

"I'm sorry," he mewled breathlessly, "I couldn't hold back..."

Ben simply held his head to Roger's and nuzzled him, feeling the warm fluid drip down over his fingers.

"It's okay..." He whispered. "You don't have to apologize."

Turning his head, he gave him a long kiss on the cheek and continued to hold him close.

He felt safe, held and protected by the young man he'd been about to betray. But no more. He hadn't wanted to for a long time now.

Opening his eyes, he saw just how much he'd released. It had been a while since he'd cum...

Turning his head slightly as he shyly tried to clean off his uniform, he gave Ben a peck on the lips.

Ben licked off the cum that was on his fingers and moved behind Roger, holding him closely.

The last thing he wanted was to return to his cell right now, so he glanced around until he saw a secluded corner underneath a table. Tugging on Roger a little bit, he said, "Want to head over there?”

Leaning back against Ben, Roger felt safe and happy for the first time. But he knew it wouldn't last.

Looking back at him before following his line of sight, he nodded.

"Yeah... I think I wanna lie down..."

Ben led him over to the area under the table and curled up behind him, lying on his side. His arm gently wrapped around Roger and he kissed his head, feeling comforted even though they were lying on the ground.

He really did love the greenhouse, and now he loved it even more. Unable to help himself, he tilted his head to catch Ben's lips in another kiss- he didn't mean to initiate anything, he just wanted to be touched...

Ben pushed into the kiss softly and caressed him even more. It felt nice to have this kind of affection.

With another nuzzle, he closed his eyes.

" _I love you Roger_..."

"Mm..." This was bad and he knew it. He didn't care, though. "Love you too..."

Reaching to hold his hand, he brought it to his lips and gave it a soft kiss. He could fall asleep here... yet he wanted to be awake to enjoy Ben's presence.

Ben let his thoughts settle on how peaceful he felt beside Roger, keeping him safe, and making him happy, and with a smile and a small kiss, he began to drift off.

Roger watched him drift away with a distinctive look of pain in his eyes, but he kept quiet about it, soon enough trying to do the same, holding his friend(?)'s hand.

…

" **HEY!! Wake up!!** "

A loud voice jolted Ben from his slumber, and instinctively curling his arms around Roger, looked up and saw a guard standing over both of them baton out and pointed at them.

Still waking up, Ben mumbled a "wha...?" Only to have the guard reach down and drag them both out from under the table.

"GET UP!! You two are going back to your cells NOW!!"

Roger clawed about and screeched for all of two seconds before realizing what was going on. He soon went limp and let the guard manhandle him out of the greenhouse. He'd be surprised if he were let out of his cell for a week after this...

Looking sadly at Ben, he mouthed an "I'm sorry" before being carted off. He knew shit would be twice as hard now.

Ben's heart went out to Roger as he was led off to his cell, and when he was pushed inside, he crawled up onto his bunk as quickly as possible, not looking at his cell mates and saying nothing.

Curling up, he faced the wall, eyes open.

Kingston, on several occasions, tried to ask where he'd been, but every time he did he'd get shot a warning look from McDonagh, who soon grabbed him by the arm and dragged him away for breakfast.

Hullahaz said nothing, but he was clearly unamused.

Ben stayed on his bed, but once he was alone with Hullahaz, sighed quietly.

"I'm sorry."

"I can't protect you if you aren't there," he replied slowly, as if speaking to a child.

His cube clicked in his hands.

"I know... I won't... I won't be out like that again. I promise."

Guilt was setting in, and he just wished he could suck his dick to make everything better, but he knew this went deeper than that.

"That's right, you won't, because they're gonna be keepin' an extra sharp eye on you now. You ain't _special_ just because you're in an arrangement with me. Even I can't protect you from that."

He turned to stare into his eyes, and he knew exactly why Ben had been gone all night.

 Ben froze up when Hullahaz stared into his eyes, and he looked away, biting his lip.

"I know." The words were barely whispered out.

"I'm sorry..."

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it. Sorry ain't gonna save you from the people here. You could've at least told me you were gonna sneak out to fuck the junkie."

Seeing a guard approach out of the corner of his eye, he stood and made his way for the door.

"Don't matter now. The deal is off."

Ben sat up, body shaking.

"W-wait, what?? No, Hullahaz please don't!!" He reached out for him, eyes beginning to water.

He didn't listen. He merely walked off to the cafeteria as soon as he was cuffed, and he didn't even offer a look over his shoulder.

It seemed he'd been mulling it over.

Ben placed his hand back down on the bed and let his head droop, still in shock.

Did that really happen?

Now of all times he craved Roger, but knew he couldn't be with him.

Hullahaz couldn't risk developing feelings, nor could he risk putting himself in danger for the sake of someone who abused their agreements. Ben was clearly into the addict, and that was fine, but he would have liked to have been warned.

It didn't matter, though. He tried the whole wife thing and it didn't work.

Ben wasn't allowed to go to his activity today, so he sat around in the cell moping. He sorely hoped that Hullahaz would stay out as long as possible, but he knew that was unlikely.

As soon as lunch rolled around, he would look for Roger, who was now the only comfort he had in this prison.

Roger was there, but he had a very haunted expression, one he shook off as soon as he saw Ben approaching. He clung to his food and started shaking his head, but it was too late.

There would be trouble for both of them, he just knew it.

Ben sat down beside him and didn't look at him. His expression was neutral, and he stared down at the table, staying deathly still.

"Hey."

"We shouldn't be seen together," he murmured, bringing a potato up to his mouth. "It'll get us into trouble..."

He cast a glance over at Hullahaz, who was staring out the window. Somehow he knew things hadn't gone well in the cell.

Ben snorted softly.

"Does it matter now?" Rubbing his eyes, he leaned forward on the table with his arms. It was clear he was avoiding looking at his ex-husband.

"It matters even more now if what people are saying is true." He took a sip of his juice and shrunk from one of the guards' gaze. "They saw us leave together. They know we didn't come back."

Taking a deep breath, he tried to keep on eating. "They think we're... A thing."

Ben released a long sigh.

"So what does that mean? The two bottom-feeders 'protecting' each other?" Turning to look at Roger, he looked tired, frustrated.

"Do you want me to get up? Go somewhere else?" Ben felt unwelcomed _everywhere_ now.

"No, they just think you're no longer under Hullahaz's wing." He hoped against all odds that he was wrong.

Twirling his glass, he looked down at his food. "That's not what I want, it's just... You might be safer that way."

He couldn't make eye contact.

Ben laughed, perhaps a bit louder than he should have, before leaning in.

"They're right." Pushing up from the table, he felt his eyes water again, and he headed off for the courtyard, still grinning to hold back the tears, though the facade was rapidly deteriorating.

He'd kept his shank on him since he left the cell, and once he had found a spot where he could sit alone and relatively out of view, he patted it through his pants. It was still there, of course, he just wanted to make sure he had it if he needed it.

"Wait," Roger whispered, his gut churning. He looked up at Ben as he was leaving. "Wait, you have to get him back, it won't be safe for you-!"

He didn't even know if Ben was listening. Probably not, he was making a run for it. Letting his arm drop, he hugged himself, closing his eyes.

It was only mere seconds until a guard was standing in front of Ben. "Hey. You're meant to stay inside this week, remember? Don't make this harder for yourself."

Ben gritted his teeth momentarily before exhaling.

"Yeah." Standing up, he kept his head down and followed the guard inside. Some other inmates called after him, making reference to his lack of protection, how he "blew it, but not in the right way," and whatnot. Every reminder of his fuck-up felt like a stab to the chest, and by the time he got back to the cell, he was shaking.

He sat down at the table and stared down at his hands, picking at his cuticles.

Kingston and McDonagh seemed to keep quiet around him when they were in the cell, but Kingston put a hand on his shoulder before giving it a firm pat. "I'd offer to help," he said, "but I'm just the meth guy."

Hullahaz kept his eyes constantly trained to his cube. He knew as soon as the other two went to do their business, the room would feel cramped.

McDonagh said not so subtly that he might want to take a shower- he also no so subtly gave him his schedule.

Ben smiled up at Kingston. "Thanks. I appreciate the offer."

Hearing McDonagh's suggestion, he nodded. "I'll probably go when you go then." He quickly glanced at Hullahaz and felt a pit in his stomach form, causing him to look away.

How long would things be this uncomfortable in the cell? The rest of his sentence?

At this point, all Ben could think of was that whatever timer had been on his "one week," it was probably unpaused now.

Kingston laughed a bit, rubbing one of his dreads. Being nice felt good, he just hadn't had the chance until now...

McDonagh felt the same, of course, but he'd never say it outright.

Hullahaz felt horrible, and although his face revealed nothing, the aura around him was dark and thick.

He should have never kissed the boy.

Feeling the positive energy from the two inmates, Ben took this opportunity to strike up a small conversation with them. If everything else was going tits-up, at least he had these..... friends.

Hullahaz's words the previous day haunted him, about how liking people in prison is bad.

Considering how things had gone for him so far, that seemed about right. He wondered how he'd fuck things up with Kingston and McDonagh, as well as the futility in liking people so they'd protect you, only for that to backfire and leave you unprotected.

Their thoughts seemed to be elsewhere, though, and dangerous as they knew it was for them to do, they offered Ben to play cards with them.

McDonagh had to go off and do the laundry, but Kingston stayed and tried to teach Ben a new game of cards- but he didn't remember the exact instructions.

Hullahaz was no help, but at least he wasn't making noise of any sort.

Ben did his best to follow Kingston's instructions, but found it a bit too confusing. Instead, he enjoyed watching the man try to remember, trying to live in the moment without thinking too much about other things.

He contemplated offering to teach Kingston a game he knew, but he didn't entirely remember how to play it either, nor did he think Kingston would retain enough of it.

The evening transcribed in relative calm, until McDonagh reappeared, told Kingston he'd been doing it all wrong, and nearly engaged in a fistfight with him which ended up in passionate forehead touching.

Then the redhead turned to Ben and asked, rather loudly, "gonna shower or what?"

He wanted to see what it would be like for him.

Ben jumped a bit. "Y-yeah, sorry." Hopping up from the table, he grabbed his towel and nervously waited by the door for McDonagh to follow him out.

He acted as a sort of escort, and a moment later, Kingston followed. He didn't really need a shower, but he felt like his dreads were getting a little too coarse.

The second Ben entered the shower, it was like a pack of lions staring at a zebra.

Ben felt all eyes on him and in an instant he realized how much he'd taken Hullahaz's protection for granted. His hands began shaking and it took a tremendous amount of energy to strip down. His gut was tight and he stuck close to Kingston and McDonagh, terrified (but trying to hide it).

Moving near a showerhead, he started to rinse down, facing away from the wall. He didn't want anyone sneaking up on him.

They didn't _have_ to. It was open season on his ass, and the moment he was in the shower, a tall man came over to lean beside him. Dangerously close. "Look, I know everyone wants their turn... But I got here first."

Drumming his fingers on the shower wall, he made a 'turn around' gesture with his hand. "Go on, show me the goods."

Ben trembled. At long last, without _any_ competition from big man Hullahaz, the other inmates would finally have their way with the skinny whore who had been out of their grasp for _far_ too long.

He knew better than to fight this, so he took a deep breath and turned around, leaning against the wall of the shower. Spotting his cellmates out of the corner of his eyes, he cast them a desperate, scared look, before looking forward and trying to ignore what came next.

Chuckling deeply, the man moved forward, only to be interrupted by an 'ahem' from Kingston.

There was silence. Kingston looked up at McDonagh, who seemed shocked. He pointed at himself inquisitively, but quickly rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, sorry, but that one's not up for grabs."

"Says who, carrot top? Hullahaz dumped his ass."

"Yeah, well, some of us act quick, don't we?"

Ben's eyes opened wide and he looked back over at them. He'd only hoped that they would intervene, but he didn't know how it would end up for him if they did. Maybe all they were doing was staving it off. But what was important to Ben right now was that he _wasn't_ being fucked by some strange inmate.

He decided to take the moment to move closer to his cellmates.

"What are you talking about, McDonagh, isn't that your bitch right there?"

"Um, _no_ , excuse me, I'm not anyone's bitch. I'm straight."

The redhead pulled Ben closer when he was in range, putting a hand on his shoulder. "That's right- this one's mine now. Ain't that right, Benny?"

Ben nodded hurriedly. He genuinely wouldn't complain if McDonagh claimed him; after all, he was a fighter, so there would _always_ be muscle to back up his words. The feeling of his hand on Ben's shoulder made him feel safer, and even though this probably meant that McDonagh would have to make clear his claim in front of everyone (not unlike Hullahaz before him), the thought actually _relieved_ Ben.

Placing his own hand on top of McDonagh's, he added, "Anything for you."

"So yeah... Taken, boys. You can back off now. Go. Shoo." As the Irishman's grip on Ben tightened, he knew he was pushing his luck. Even Kingston knew this. But still, he couldn't help but give the tall man a cocky grin.

And that's when he got punched in the face.

One thing led to another, and Ben was quickly flung to relative safety as people piled onto McDonagh, causing him to lash out and break several noses. Honestly, it was kind of hot to see naked men fighting.

Ben felt himself get thrown back towards Kingston, who backed up with him as the fight ensued. Ben turned a bit and wrapped a hand around Kingston's side, unable to turn away from the fight, despite the sudden violence terrifying him. It was one thing to see all this happening in a match outside, but another right in front of him, let alone _over ownership of him_.

His grip on Kingston tightened as he moved back, cowering behind him like a scared child. If he wasn't so distracted by the fighting, he'd be embarrassed of himself for acting like this in prison to another inmate, even though they were essentially friends.

Kingston looked down at him in relative shock, but began to push him into one of the bathroom stalls, quickly following him in. He knew it wouldn't be long until the guards stormed in to break people apart. It always happened whenever they were too noisy.

"Must feel kinda exciting, yeah? Everyone wants a piece of you. Not me, though. N-not anymore, I mean." He held onto one of his dreads and hoped to God they didn't knock the door down. When the guards flew in, he could hear McDonagh laughing.

Ben stayed silent in the stall, looking up at Kingston. Although he knew that he and McDonagh occasionally had sex, it seemed as though there was a time in which Kingston was the ass everyone had to have, and it made Ben sympathize with him. He wanted to ask him about it later, but figured there was no point; Kingston probably wouldn't want to relive those times anyway.

Hoping the fighting was dying down, Ben closed his eyes and hugged his arms, waiting for quiet.

As soon as the environment was quieter, Kingston pushed the stall door open and gently led Ben out. "No idea what's gonna happen now, but I suggest you don't go to the bathroom without him from now on." With a soft nod, he gave his hair a quick wash before grabbing his belongings.

"Meet you back there, or do you want me to wait?"

Ben bit his lip.

"If you could wait, that'd be nice. I'll be quick, I promise." Hurriedly washing his hair, he dried off and put his clothes back on, sticking close to Kingston's side as they returned back to the cell.

McDonagh had a busted lip, purple cheeks and a shit-eating grin. Kingston rolled his eyes as he entered and threw his hands up. "Always with the drama! Do you really have to do this every time?"

"Put a sock in it, Jesse. I was doing what I do best and you know it."

As usual, Hullahaz said nothing. He simply stared out of the corner of his eye.

Ben hung up his towel and climbed up his bunk, completely done with the day. Even though it was early, he didn't care. He just curled up and pulled his blanket over his head, shutting his eyes tightly.

McDonagh couldn't help but mutter a "you're welcome" as he climbed into his own bed. It didn't take long for him to coax Kingston up there, and the strangest thing happened.

He lay down on the redhead.

No sex, nothing. Just rested his head on his chest and watched him write in his journal.

Ben turned over and opened his eyes, hearing nothing sexual going on. Seeing the two of them cuddling made his chest tug to the bunk below him, but he knew that those days were _long_ gone. Swallowing the guilt, he let himself drift off to the pleasant scene on the opposite bunk.

It was the first time they'd done anything of the sort, but McDonagh was tired and he didn't want to dish out any more energy; he just wanted company. Kingston's hair was ratty, sure, but he found a sort of comfort in petting it.

The blonde seemed to really be enjoying it, too.

There were no complaints from the bottom bunk.

...

A week passed with Ben dodging other inmates who wanted to try and challenge McDonagh's ownership of him. Nothing pleasant, but it was better than being passed around like a joint.

...

Ben was sitting at lunch, picking away at his sandwich that hardly interested him. He'd already shrugged off two inmates who made passes at him, and the day was only dragging on. Glancing up, he noticed a familiar face he hadn't seen all week, and his eyes widened.

 _Roger_.

He looked terrible. Sleep-deprived, weak and with a bandage around his wrist. He barely noticed Ben, sitting down at the table with his food. He hoped Ben wouldn't approach him, maybe then he could still back out of this...

No, it was too late. He'd been spotted.

Today was his deadline.

Ben mindlessly moved over towards Roger and sat down near him. He wanted to give him a hug, but that wasn't an option. It was just hard for Ben to see him looking this way.

"I'd ask if you're okay... but I know you're not." Looking down at his sandwich, he sighed, pushing it away.

"No, no, eat." He brought the sandwich back to Ben's hands and pushed it against him. "You need your strength. Tonight..."

He took a deep breath, feeling eyes on his back. His skin was crawling. "Tonight I have something to show you. Our ban's lifted so..."

Ben tilted his head and took another bite of food. It felt like he was topping off a full tank.

"What do you want to show me? Or is it a surprise?" After going missing all week, Roger's invite sounded wonderful, but he was also concerned or suspicious. It seemed rather... out of the blue.

But he could trust Roger, right?

"Surprise. It's something I've been putting off for a while..." He looked down, hand on his cheek. He wasn't lying about that. He really had been putting it off for as long as he could.

But now he couldn't anymore.

"Don't be nervous, okay? Everything's gonna be fine."

Ben gave a small smile up at him. "Okay."

After lunch, he headed back up to the cell, excited and nervous for whatever Roger was going to show him.

Roger wanted to die. He wanted to die so badly, but he also was _burning_ to live. He had to do this, or they'd snap his neck. They'd already snapped his wrist. The scene from the night after he'd stayed out kept playing in his head.

_"You were out with the hooker, weren't you?"_

_"No, I-"_

_Crunch._

_"You've fallen for him, haven't you?"_

_"No! I swear! I swear it was just to gain his trust-"_

_Squelch._

_Snap._

_Crack._

_Thrust._

_Slap._

_Bang._

_The taste of vomit still in his mouth, he wasn't sure whether it was his lower body or his wrist which hurt more. All he knew was that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't move._

_And then they'd dangled the heroin in front of his face._

Ben walked down to the cafeteria just before dinner and looked around, eager to meet up with Roger. Perhaps they'd get some time to just sit and talk? It's what Ben wanted more than anything.

Roger gestured for him to come closer, a smile on his face. It was forced. His whole posture was. "Here, I'll have you back before dinner is over, okay? Just follow me."

He began to walk towards the courtyard...

Ben smiled back at him, though he didn't buy the smile for a minute. Of course, he didn't know what happened to Roger during that week, so he wouldn't be surprised if smiling was a challenge for him.

Keeping close, his mind buzzed with thoughts of what Roger might be leading him to.

Roger didn't guide him like he usually would- it seemed like he was _pushing_ Ben along more than anything. He kept close to him, though, making small talk before arriving at the warehouse.

"Well, here it is. Hold your breath."

His hands shook violently as he swung the doors open, and it was no surprise once the inside of the structure was revealed.

Three men, large and with nothing but sheer contempt and cruelty in their eyes, stood a few feet inwards, sitting on stools as if they'd been waiting for a long time.

They had.

Roger shoved Ben into the warehouse without saying a word, but quickly spoke to the men who were already making their move. "I brought him. Pay up."

Ben's smile instantly dropped once he saw the men waiting for him. Turning around to look at Roger, he felt himself start to shake.

"W-what's all this? Roger, what's happening?" Looking back at the men who were moving towards him, he pushed himself on Roger, holding his shoulders.

"What's happening!?"

Roger didn't meet his eyes, but he put a decisive hand on Ben's shoulder to try and turn him back around. "I _said_ pay up."

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Roger. You'll get it once he's in our hands," one of the men chuckled, moving closer still.

Taking a deep breath, he looked into Ben's eyes. "Don't try to resist. It'll only hurt more. Just... Close your eyes, it'll be over soon."

"That's right," another man spoke, "we can only have you for a few hours, but don't worry. We're gonna make the most of it."

"I hear hookers can take two cocks at once, but three?"

Roger cringed and shoved Ben away harder, hoping to get him to fall into the man behind him.

Ben gripped hard onto Roger, tears welling up in his eyes.

"No, no!!" The shakiness in Ben's hands made it hard for him to hold on, especially with Roger shoving him, and momentarily distracted by the approaching men, lost his grip and fell backwards on the ground. He scrambled to get up and move closer to Roger.

"Roger, _please_!"

Roger didn't look at him as he fell to the ground, soon to be picked up by the man approaching him. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "but I just can't do it anymore."

The man laughed, running his hand roughly down Ben's front before stopping to grab his crotch. Roger closed his eyes.

"It'll just be for a few hours, and then you'll go back to your merry little life, and I'll go back to this in a week's time. But at least I'll have something to help me drown it out."

Narrowing his eyes, he saw the second man throw him a ziploc. Catching it, he held it tightly in his hand, as if it were the only thing he had left. They called the third over, and they made the mistake of letting Ben's front go to try and undress him instead.

Ben shuddered and cringed through the sobs. "R-Roger, help me, please-" He cut himself off when he saw the bag thrown his direction, causing his jaw to drop.

" _H-heroin_?? You're offering me up for _heroin_??" It was as if Roger had taken a rusty hacksaw and sawed Ben's heart in two with it, right there in the warehouse.

Blind rage consumed him, rage at having been misled, _betrayed_. Hullahaz was right. And now he was going to pay for it. The only thought on his mind now was escaping, and remembering his shank, he knew that if there would be any time to use it, now was the time.

Contorting his body, he tried to reach for it in his pants, but instead managed to break away from the men groping him, some of the fabric tearing off in their hands. His heart was racing and he knew the only way out was through Roger. Body still moving to grab the shank, he shoved his hand in his pocket and spun a bit, tearing it out of his pocket and waving it at the men. The momentum from the turn caused him to face back around to Roger, and seeing his face and the bag of heroin, felt all the pain welling up inside of him in the form of white hot _fury_.

With a scream, Ben lunged forward, no longer seeing the man he loved, and plunged the shank deep into Roger's torso, knocking open the doors as they fell backwards, Ben landing on top of Roger as they hit the ground.

His head spinning, Ben sat back and looked down at him.

Blood was covering his hand and shirt from where he'd landed on him, and the toothbrush stuck out of Roger, lodged in halfway.

The men were confused for about half a second before they turned to grab him again, but seeing the shank in his hand, they decided to move back a bit. They were admittedly glad that thing had been aimed towards Roger instead.

The skinny man barely had time to react. The shank broke his skin, immediately sending blood gushing out, and his eyes widened to such a degree that it seemed they'd pop out of his head. _I understand_ , he thought he'd said. _I understand, and I deserve it. But you need to understand too. I want to live. I want to forget. They've broken me, and you were my only way out. They were going to kill me_.

Of course, by the time he hit the ground, he realized he'd said nothing at all. Looking up at Ben (or perhaps at the night sky) with wide, glassy eyes, he felt his breathing quicken and shallow at an alarming rate.

He was paralyzed, but he knew the men wouldn't be. One of them was already shouting "fuck!", and a flash of what would happen to him popped in his head if they lost both their fucktoys.

Without blinking, still holding that dead-eyed expression, Roger managed to spit out one word.

"Run."

Ben, although still very much hurt, now realized what he'd done, and he shook in fear at how much he'd scared _himself_.

And now, he'd wounded the man he swore he'd never harm.

Moving off of Roger a bit, he held his hands close to his chest in fear, and although he moved to reach for the toothbrush to take it out of the other man, Roger's voice broke through the mental fog and reminded him of the situation he was in.

He gave Roger one final look before hopping up and sprinting out across the field. Adrenaline fueled him, and he didn't dare look back to see if the other men had kept up with him. He wouldn't stop running until he couldn't hear anyone chasing him, until the only thing around him was his thoughts.

Ben had managed to cover quite a lot of ground, and after hiding behind the thick bushes on the outer edge of the soccer field, collapsed on his knees and hugged his arms. The tacky feeling on his arm made him jump, and he looked back at his blood-covered hand.

And all he could do was sob.

...

Hours passed, and guards had gotten furious at the fact Ben was at large. The men had immediately told them what had happened (twisting the story in their favor, of course), and in turn the prison had sent Ben's _entire_ cell out to find him.

Kingston started at the bathrooms, of course. McDonagh went to the kitchen and storage units. Hullahaz...

Well, he went outside. He needed to breathe. Ben wasn't his problem anymore, but he wasn't about to believe that the guy had decided to stay out after what had happened last time. He hadn't been informed of why he was looking for Ben, but he was grateful for the chance to be outside.

When he heard sobs, though, he slowly gravitated towards the sound, until he was parting bushes to find their source.

Seeing Ben covered in blood was not what he'd expected to find, and his face actually displayed shock.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

Ben nearly had a heart attack when the bushes opened up, but seeing Hullahaz only partly relieved him.

He didn't even make an effort to wipe away his tears.

"H-he betrayed me, just like you s-said." Sniffing back mucus, he whined a bit. "He was giving me to them in exchange f-for _heroin_." Trailing off, he whispered out, "I'm so fucking stupid...."

"What did you... Did you stab him?"

Hullahaz blinked a few times. There was a reason why he'd told Ben what he had- he'd been here long enough to know addicts would do anything to get their fix, even betray those they swore to care about. But the sight before him filled him with pity. He knew Ben would get in serious trouble for this, and if Roger died, he'd be looking at an extended sentence.

He slowly put his arms around Ben, bringing him close to himself.

Ben nodded and felt another wave of tears coming up. Upon being held by Hullahaz, he wrapped his arms around his neck and sobbed into the man's chest, finally feeling some sense of security.

He wanted to stay here forever with him. Funny how the last time he felt that way, it was with the man who would later betray him.

"I've never hurt anyone like that before!" He cried. "I feel so _awful_!"

Hullahaz was torn between hushing him and staying silent, but he knew neither of those things would do him any good.

"I know," he said softly, "first time's always the worst."

He found himself gently rocking back and forth with Ben in his arms, knowing his uniform would be bloody within seconds, even if the blood had long dried.

Ben cooed through the sobs, slowly calming down as he was held by Hullahaz. The nighttime sky was the only thing shining light on them, and the peaceful scenery helped his tears subside.

After several minutes, he was only whimpering a little bit, hugging the other man with eyes half-closed.

Hullahaz reached down to run a hand through his hair, not wanting to be the bearer of bad news but knowing there was absolutely no point in keeping Ben in the dark.

"They're gonna put you in solitary for this," he whispered. He knew the guards will find them any minute. "Dunno for how long."

Ben shivered and exhaled slowly, only nodding.

Solitary confinement had never been anything he'd considered he'd be faced with, and he regarded it as the place where the most terrifying of inmates went. Even though Hullahaz was a murderer, he got along decently well with others and was allowed to live in a cell with three other men.

The people in solitary were far worse.

At this point, he decided there was no longer any point in holding back his feelings. He looked up in Hullahaz's eyes, his own wide with fear.

"... _I'm scared_."

Hullahaz shook his head slowly. "Sometimes I think it's better than here."

He'd been in solitary for months at a time, but had finally put on enough 'good behavior' to be allowed to share a cell with others. It was enough to drive one to madness, but he knew Ben wouldn't be down there for that long.

"You'll be safe from all these crazy fucks," he'd had to have stabbed Roger for a reason, right? "And no one will try to destroy your ass. Think of it as a vacation."

He closed his eyes, moving away just a bit. He didn't want to smother Ben- this was important. "They might call in your case worker. They'll investigate your behavior."

Ben groaned a bit.

"He set me up. He gave me to them for heroin. Can't I just tell them that?? I only stabbed him out of self defense..."

Perhaps that was only half true. Yes, he was trying to escape, but he could have just barreled his way through. He had brandished the shank initially against the men trying to take him, but he wasn't even supposed to have a shank anyway.

"It's all so messed up..."

"They'll look into that." He moved to stand up, offering Ben his hand. He was confident the younger man would be fine, but he still felt the need to inform him. "Don't say anything unless they call in an official. They'll wanna speak to you when you're calm."

Rubbing his nose, he looked up at the sky.

"Absolute worst case scenario, the junkie dies and you're lookin' at murder charges- maybe manslaughter. But I don't think it's gonna escalate to that."

He looked back at Ben. "The odds are in your favor. No one's gonna believe you gave him the heroin."

Ben hoped that Roger wouldn't die. As much as he'd be hurt by him, he didn't deserve to be stabbed, let alone _killed_.

"Okay..." He closed his eyes and tried to forget about everything for as long as they had.

"You're gonna be okay," he said, and he didn't know why. He tugged on him gently so he'd follow him back into the building. The sooner they got this over with, the better.

Kingston and McDonagh approached in a hurry, but upon seeing blood on him, they stopped dead in their tracks. Soon the guards were surrounding them, and everyone was being escorted back to the cell... Save for Ben.

Ben felt his heart ripping for the second time that day, when he had to leave Hullahaz. In the privacy they had out on the field, he got to see the kinder side of the man that he'd never shown, that he COULDN'T show, and it only made him want to curl up and sleep next to him again.

But as he said, the deal was off.

The guards escorted him to his cell in solitary, where he washed his hands off and laid down on his bed, curling up and facing the wall. Despite the blood being gone, Ben could still see it on his hands, and that night he dreamed of the day’s events over and over, each time ending with Roger dying underneath him.


	7. Readjusting

The next week went by at a snail's pace. Ben's case worker was brought in (a lady by the name of Matilda) and she'd determined that Ben did, in fact, act out in panic. She cited his possession of a shank as a necessary evil in order to survive in prison.

Even though she had to sign a dozen confidentiality papers, Ben was let out by the next full week.

Although Roger hadn't died, no news about him was given to Ben. He was in recovery, and was to be transferred to his own cell.

Ben's cell eagerly anticipated his release. They hadn't been updated on anything, so they simply waited.

The morning of his release, Ben was led back to his cell early, about a half hour before breakfast. The guard uncuffed him and opened the door.

"Hope you learned your lesson."

Kingston dropped the book he'd been holding, McDonagh stopped working out and Hullahaz practically sprung up from the bed when he arrived.

They had no idea how he must be feeling, having been alone for so long save for interrogations.

They waited for him to make the first move.

Ben instantly went straight to Hullahaz and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight, silent hug. After a moment, he looked over at the others and gestured for them to come over as well. It might wind up being a bit crowded, but he just wanted to be hugged by all of them.

Or just touched by them. Even if it was just a hand on his head or something.

He had utterly shut down over the course of the week, emotionally, and barely spoke at all except for when he had to. Being around the people who cared about him was what he'd _badly_ needed.

Although the other two were surprised at the sudden turn of events, they quickly joined the hug and gave Ben backrubs. They didn't quite know what had happened, but they'd pieced it together enough to imagine.

"You're a trooper," Kingston said, ruffling his hair.

"Guess you won't need me to protect you anymore, eh?" McDonagh laughed.

Hullahaz just seemed to hug him tighter.

There were no more tears that Ben had left to cry out, and right now he was just thankful for the support he got from them.

And now he could put everything behind him. He didn't want to think about Roger again, and just wanted to numb himself to everything he had felt for him. It's what he spent the last week doing.

Ben held the hug as long as possible before pulling away.

"I missed you guys." Although he glanced around at the others, his eyes were primarily trained on Hullahaz.

The men smiled at him- all of them. McDonagh pushed a little bottle of whiskey into Ben's hand. "You've earned it."

Kingston laughed and went to grab his shirt, knowing breakfast would be soon. "We missed you too."

Hullahaz seemed reluctant to let go of him, but he knew he had to go back to his facade unless he wanted even more trouble to come their way. He rubbed his nose and sat down on the bed.

"Told you it would be okay."

Ben gave everyone a smile and took a sip of the whiskey. Not his favorite kind of alcohol, but it certainly was appreciated.

"Yeah, you were right." _You're usually right_.

Turning to face Hullahaz, he sat down on the bed beside him and cleared his throat.

"So... can we talk?"

Not a very private conversation, but he didn't really care if the other men heard.

He looked down for a bit and took a deep breath, noticing how the other two seemed to be getting ready to leave.

"If we must."

Kingston said something about scrambled eggs, and McDonagh eventually turned to Ben, waiting for a moment to speak. He didn't seem to want to interrupt.

Ben noticed McDonagh wanted to say something, so he looked up at him, waiting.

He could wait through this to talk to Hullahaz.

"I just. I figure you're tired, so... Just skip breakfast, we'll bring you something back."

Kingston gave him a thumbs up, attempting to tousle his already-messed up hair.

Ben laughed softly. "Thanks McDonagh." The ruffle from Kingston made him giggle a bit, and he watched them exit the cell.

Moving to face Hullahaz again, he sighed.

He wanted to ask him for protection again, but he didn't feel like he deserved it.

"I wanted to thank you... for comforting me that day." Ben ran his fingers through his hair nervously. "You didn't have to... not after how I... well... but just, thank you." His eyes were trained on his hands, which he fiddled with in his lap.

"You don't need to thank me. I was where you were once, but I had no one there to hold me."

Not that he would have wanted anyone around him at the time of his crime. That would have made matters so much worse.

"I know it's hard for you to trust me. Don't blame you."

Hullahaz took a moment, but he eventually put an arm out, encouraging Ben to lie down beside him on the bed.

Ben took him up on the offer and relaxed beside him, hugging close to him but not putting anything more than a hand on his chest.

"I just... I don't want to fuck anything up for you. And I think I was. He was already a friend to me and, well... I cared about him. I didn't like that he was often hurt, and I guess I just kinda... cared too much."

The gravity of his words settled on him like a lead blanket.

"Honestly, I don't know how you trust _me_."

Hullahaz laughed softly, giving Ben a gentle pet. "I'd get kicked in the nuts if I say I don't... But I don't trust anyone in here. Not fully. You..."

He looked Ben up and down, slowly closing his eyes to mull over his words.

"You got nothin' bad inside you. You don't wanna hurt nobody. Sets you apart from the rest. Don't mean I wanted to go easy on you, but..."

Pausing, he took Ben's hand for a moment.

"Forget about that. It's in the past. Done. Just rest now... The beds in solitary are like bricks."

Ben closed his eyes and cuddled in closer to him.

"This is probably... personal, of me, but sleeping beside you -- being beside you at all -- makes me feel safer than I've ever felt before. I mean, aside from when my...mom..." he began to trail off, "tucked my sister and I in. When we were young."

The memory raised up some deeply repressed feelings, and he took a quick deep breath to try and push them back down.

"Just... wanted you to know."

"Hmm..."

He wasn't sure how to react to that, so he simply draped an arm over Ben to make him feel safer somehow. In his mind, he was spooning him, burying his face into Ben's small shoulder. He tried to blink the images away.

"You tryin' to gain my favor again..."

He chuckled to himself, closing his eyes.

"I only want to be on good terms with you. When I left, I felt awful. Not just with _him_ , but with you. I still feel awful about it too...

"I'm still really sorry."

Ben didn't know why he was apologizing all over again.

Hullahaz just stared at him. Well, not really a stare, more of a gaze. Still... His eyes seemed softer than usual.

How scared and miserable Ben had been that night had stayed with him.

"You don't gotta be. You learned from it." He closed his eyes again. "I know I put you in danger."

"You let me learn a lesson about prison. A valuable lesson." He didn't say thank you, since, yes, he HAD put him in danger, but he was certainly thankful for it.

"You don't have to take me as your wife again, or even consider it. I'll.... I'll manage."

He hoped.

"You got McDonagh, right? Or was that just for show? You guys didn't fuck once."

Ben chuckled. "For show."

Hullahaz rapped his fingers against Ben's shoulder before making his mind up.

"Turn around, wouldja?"

Hearing Hullahaz ask him to turn around, he rolled over on the bed and faced away from him, letting his eyelids droop again.

He snaked his arms around Ben and merely rested his body lightly against him, thumb stroking his arm slowly. This was what he'd sorely craved after his months in solitary, but he'd never let it show.

How could he have?

Ben sighed, feeling Hullahaz embrace him.

It was certainly clear now (although it was before too) that the man cared about him, and inside, Ben couldn't help but chuckle about how he'd pulled a "do as I say, not as I do" on him.

Ben didn't mind it though. If he had _someone_ who cared about him in this prison, he didn't think it would be so bad.

He figured what the guy needed was some comfort, and as long as it was just them, he could be however he wanted. He'd already bitten this man's neck, fucked him against the shower tiles, and kissed him. Held him when he cried. What more was there to do?

It's not like he'd care when he left...

He'd never make that mistake again.

After a bit, his grip on Ben loosened.

Ben had drifted off rather quickly, feeling at ease with the situation, and having not had a good night's sleep in quite some time.

Even if it was just a nap, he was happy it was beside Hullahaz.

Hullahaz didn't sleep, however. He simply watched over Ben, barely holding him after a while, telling himself over and over not to care about the young man.

It would only end badly for him.

When Ben woke up, he noticed that Hullahaz was still by him, though holding him less. Rolling onto his back, he turned his head and looked back over at him, giving him a soft smile.

"You're right, a nap helped."

Fuck, he was gorgeous. No. God dammit, no, _he_ was the gorgeous one here. He was the one everyone lusted after, not... Not the other way around.

"I'm right about a whole fuckload of things."

A little giggle slipped out of Ben. "Yeah, I've started realizing that." His gaze softened even more as he looked at Hullahaz, the fire that he had felt before, and the also with Roger, burned hotter inside of him.

It was love, no doubt, even now. Ben wasn't sure how he'd deal with it in this situation, but at least he didn't think that him feeling that way about Hullahaz would end badly for him.

But then again, he'd been wrong about a lot lately.

“Kinda late in the game, don'tcha think?" Hullahaz smirked and rested his head on his arm, enjoying the deep brown of Ben's eyes. Despite how much his features had hardened in prison, he was still decidedly handsome- and young, which was only accentuated by his tattoos.

He felt the craving of a cigarette begin to creep up on him, so in an attempt to push it down he bit his lip, sighing softly.

"Bottom line is..." His deep voice had dropped to a murmur. "Even though I'm scary, trust me. Even if you think I'm fulla shit."

That giggle had sold him. He might have to consider asking to be his husband again.

Ben moved his hand up to Hullahaz's cheek, but stopped for only a moment before going through with it.

Even now he wasn't sure how far to push the affection, but decided to take the leap. His response was spoken in almost a whisper.

"I do trust you. Now more than ever."

"I suppose you would, if you're lyin' here beside me, touchin' my cheek despite me bein' the prison's scariest motherfucker..." He closed his eyes for a moment, almost leaning into Ben's touch.

"I guess I better trust you too."

He inched closer, wondering if things would unfold as he secretly hoped.

"I won't... be secretive like I was. I was just afraid... afraid of what you'd think, afraid that you'd think I was lying about having feelings for you-" He froze, realizing he'd admitted more than he meant to. Rolling onto his stomach, he pressed his face into the bed, sighing.

"Well, I do. I did for him too. I don't even know how that's a thing, but it was." He turned his head and chuckled dryly. "Not an issue now anyway...."

Well, he didn't get the kiss he wanted, but he supposed there would be more chances. Hearing Ben had feelings for him made his heart hammer momentarily, which almost made him laugh... What a mess. Ben sure knew how to pick them.

Putting an arm on the other side of him, he leaned over to him a bit, parting the hair on the nape of his neck. So soft...

"I don't care who you have feelings for," he lied. "I just wanted to be able to keep you safe without havin' it look like I let you run around."

Against his better judgment, he brought his lips down upon the back of Ben's neck, pressing the tip of his tongue to it.

Ben gasped softly, closing his eyes as he felt Hullahaz's lips touch him. Chills ran down his spine and he began leaning into him. Whatever he was going to say in response was lost for the moment. Turning his head up towards Hullahaz's, he moved his hand to the other man's cheek and gently nuzzled him.

"You don't gotta like me," he murmured, lips still trailing up Ben's neck, now moving to his ear. "But you can trust me."

The nuzzle made him feel like he should, by all means, be kissing Ben. Brushing his lips slowly from his ear to his jawline, he waited until Ben was facing him a bit more to strike.

Let's see if it felt as good as last time...

Ben kept his hand on Hullahaz's cheek and stared longingly into his eyes. The color was almost like fire, and gazing for long enough made him feel it inside of him. He tilted his head so they faced each other better, and slid his other hand up so his fingertips brushed Hullahaz's chin.

" _I think I more than like you_."

"Yeah, figured as much..." With a quiet laugh, he placed a hand on Ben's cheek and slowly, yet firmly, pressed their lips together. His other hand trailed down to Ben's waist, holding it in such a way that was meant to make him feel safe.

It felt even better than last time.

Ben closed his eyes and lost himself to the kiss. Their previous kiss had been in the middle of an intensely sexual experience, but this one was isolated as its _own_ thing. There was nothing else in the world but their lips pressing together, and Hullahaz comfortingly embracing him.

Ben's heart panged as he remembered a similar feeling he had with Roger, but of course, that was all in the past. Right now it was just him and Hullahaz.

And he loved him so much.

Hullahaz felt the pang somehow. He knew Ben was thinking of the junkie for a split second, but he didn't stop kissing him. He couldn't. Tilting his head a bit more, he began to deepen the kiss, nibbling on Ben's bottom lip.

He would deal with worrying about feelings later. Right now he wanted to know how much of Ben he'd be allowed to enjoy, and in how many different ways.

Ben slowly slid his tongue along Hullahaz's teeth and pushed up into the kiss more, wanting to taste more of him. It felt like this was their first true kiss, hopefully as prison husband and wife.

He tucked a leg up over part of Hullahaz's leg, wanting to be closer to him.

He tasted of cigarette smoke, iron and something inexplicably sweet. A bizarre combination for a complicated man. His tongue pressed against Ben's, giving a further layer of sensuality to the intimate act.

He slowly let himself come rest on Ben, a hand on his cheek.

Ben had managed to mentally work past the taste of cigarettes reminding him of his father to enjoy the taste and how it related to Hullahaz. After all, he wanted to put new memories, better ones, over the old ones.

Sliding one of his hands down, he gently stroked the other man's neck.

The rings on his neck were off-putting to some, but the sensation of having them touched seemed to illicit a low grumble from the man. Almost like a purr...

He moved to suck on Ben's upper lip for a moment before kissing him again, this time with more force.

Ben loved feeling every inch of the man's body with his fingertips, and with his tongue, he began sliding it into Hullahaz's mouth, teasing the other man's tongue with the tip of his own.

He knew their cellmates would be back any minute, but he couldn't help himself. Putting a hand to the back of Ben's head, he pressed them closer together so the younger man's tongue could slide further into his mouth. He made barely no noise, but his deep sighs were enough to show he was enjoying himself.

He sucked, tenderly at first, but quickly applying more force.

Ben relished the feeling of having his tongue messed with, and he twirled it around the other man's tongue, pulling away a little bit to nibble at his upper lip.

His hand moved to Hullahaz's shoulder and he gripped him tightly.

This man was in love with him, wasn't he? As much as a prison would allow, anyhow...

He wasn't sure how to feel about it, but he knew there was a warmth spreading through his body.

He wasn't sure if now was a good time to do anything other than kiss, but he moved away quickly to press his teeth into Ben's neck...

Ben instinctively curled his leg around the other man, sliding his hand from Hullahaz's cheek to the back of his head and holding him close. His toes curled up a bit as he felt his cellmate's breath on his neck.

A small moan escaped his lips before he moved his own mouth to the other man's neck, and just barely parting his lips, began slowly kissing up and down the nape of his neck. Ben opened his eyes a bit to look down at the tattooed skin and felt his body shudder.

Hullahaz bit a little harder, the kisses on his neck sending tingles down his spine. He reached a hand down to squeeze Ben's thigh, but did little else. His mind was working hazily- would he be able to claim Ben again so soon, or would they think something was fishy? He'd have to put on a show again, wouldn't he...

He'd worry about that later. His skin was burning now, pressing up to the man beneath him. He gave Ben a small nuzzle and inhaled deeply.

Ben curled his body in more to hold Hullahaz as close to him as possible. His kisses trailed down to his collar bone (as much as he could manage, anyway), and he exhaled a little louder upon feeling the bite grow harder. A soft whimper escaped him and he let his tongue glide over Hullahaz's skin

Hullahaz, holding Ben close still, sat up a bit, bringing the young man with him. This way, he kissed and bit from Ben's neck to his shoulder, leaving very small and casual bites. Inside, he wanted to cover the man to be able to gaze upon him and think "yeah, that was me", but...

 _Moan for me_ , he found himself thinking.

Fuck.

Ben gasped softly as he was pulled up, and it didn't take much before he'd leaned his head back, stretching his neck out so Hullahaz had more leverage over him. Each little bite made him tingle, and a very quiet, drawn-out moan left his lips. If not for the fact that Ben's head was right next to Hullahaz's, the other man probably would not have been able to hear it.

His grip on his cellmate's shoulder tightened.

The moan ignited a passion in him unlike any other, and he was soon back on Ben's lips, pressing them firmly to his own as he held his cellmate tightly, securely... as if he might fall otherwise.

He pressed him back onto the bed, propping him up against the pillows before finally pulling away to gaze at him.

That blush was worthy of remembering.

Ben shuddered lightly as he looked up into Hullahaz's eyes, his lips slowly forming a smile. He felt so happy and safe beside him, and he lifted his hand up to the other man's cheek, which he gently stroked as he looked lovingly into his eyes.

Hullahaz nuzzled into the hand for a moment before planting his lips to Ben's forehead, deciding to rest beside him as the other men returned from their breakfast.

"Here," McDonagh announced casually, throwing a bundle of napkins onto Hullahaz's bed. "You're welcome"

Ben blinked open his eyes when he felt something land on him. Happily remembering that he was lying beside Hullahaz, he wriggled around a little bit, moving back against him, before moving to grab what McDonagh had tossed at him.

It was just a bundle of breakfast items. Nothing to drink it with, though, so... Sink water it was. Kingston looked a bit too happy to see Ben and Hullahaz sharing a bed, and the latter decided to shake his head and roll over to avoid questioning.

Ben brought the food up to his chest and rolled onto his back, sitting up a bit while still leaning against Hullahaz. There was a doughnut, an orange, a bagel, and a strudel inside the napkins, and Ben was quick to take the bagel, leaving the sweeter options for Hullahaz in case he had his eye on one.

Hullahaz took the strudel, but merely gave it a few nibbles. He slowly slid an arm around Ben as he ate, making direct eye contact with McDonagh, who seemed ready to flip him off.

Hullahaz laughed.

Kingston dropped his book again.

Ben smiled as he ate his bagel, putting it down after a few bites to eat from the doughnut. If Hullahaz didn't eat the orange, he'd probably keep it for a snack later. He didn't realize the significance of Hullahaz laughing, and merely nuzzled in a little closer as he ate.

The laughter died down quickly enough, ending in small chuckles Hullahaz tried to conceal by looking away and putting a hand to his mouth. His eyes slowly lost their softness, though, and the curves of his mouth dropped.

He couldn't be too careful.

Ben didn't really notice how Hullahaz had changed his expression as he continued eating. Getting a bit thirsty, he let him know he was gonna drink some water, and he stood up, walking over to the sink and cupping his hand so he could drink.

Turning back around, he noticed the warmth had gone from his face, and a flicker of doubt flashed inside of him, that perhaps he'd either made up the last half hour, or that Hullahaz was going to distance himself again.

But he knew that wasn't the case. He would trust him, trust that what he felt for Ben was something he didn't have to hide all the time or pretend didn't exist.

Of course, Ben knew that for _both_ of their sake's, he couldn't show it all the time.

Kingston remained slackjawed at how Hullahaz had showed a genuine positive emotion, but he knew better than to comment on it or tell anyone else. McDonagh was the same, but he'd definitely tease Hullahaz in private. Maybe he'd be able to fight him sometime...

The kiss he'd had with him a few years back still haunted him.

Hullahaz waited for Ben to join him again, but didn't force him to. He knew he had to plan his next move if he wanted to protect the younger man. Still... It couldn't be too soon or people _would_ think he'd gone soft.

Ben sat back down on the bed with him, not cuddling up too closely (in case he was trying to prepare himself for when they'd have to be less affectionate), but still staying close with a smile on his face, as he finished eating. He asked Hullahaz if he was going to eat the orange.

"Nah, it's yours. I can have fruit and that shit at lunch," he replied, closing his eyes. He nudged Ben a bit with his shoulder, as if to show that yes, he still cared.

The other two inmates dissolved into chatter, and it became background noise...

"...General mood has gone up, huh..."

"Credibility's gone down..."

Ben leaned back against Hullahaz and chuckled softly. He didn't say anything, but rather listened to the general ambience of the cell.

Though pretty soon, Ben was free to re-attend his activities, today's being art.

When the time came, Hullahaz merely nodded and waved at him, as if to say 'I ain't goin' anywhere'. He'd have the time to plan the big reveal, he supposed, but he'd have to discuss it with Ben.

...

The room felt a little emptier without Roger in it, but nobody commented on it. In fact, nobody looked Ben's way.

Ben didn't really think much about how the atmosphere of the class had changed without Roger's presence, but when he arrived, he noticed the empty easel and felt a pit in his stomach. He grabbed his supplies and a new piece of paper, spying some of his unfinished pieces and sighing.

Off in the corner were some shuffled papers which Ben instantly recognized as Roger's paintings, and picking them up to straighten them, spotted the starry night and river painting.

His gut clenched.

Setting them back down, he went back out and set up, moving his pencil to the paper and drawing... nothing.

Tried as he might, every time he tried to put down an idea, the energy was suddenly gone. Ben was tempted to just pack up and return to the cell, but he didn't want to just leave, so he began doodling. Without really meaning to, he found himself drawing some skulls.

Eventually, chatter began in the back of the class. Over the shuffling of papers and paint, it was clear they were discussing the shanking.

"So what if he got stabbed? He was a good for nothing, anyway. I can't stand junkies."

"Dude, he never _hurt_ anybody, though."

"Did you see the fucks he's in with, though? They probably turned him into a shithead like them."

"Not so loud! Fuckers be lurking."

"I heard he did it for drugs..."

"Did what?"

"Fucked someone over."

Ben's pencil strokes became gradually harder and harder, until he tore the paper a bit.

He'd also been gritting his teeth.

Sighing, he walked over and grabbed a new sheet, ignoring any of the looks that the other inmates gave him. He wished he'd never walked in that day.

As he sat back down, he left the pencil on the easel shelf and instead grabbed one of the paint containers and squirted it out onto his palette, dabbling his brush in it and placing the hairs onto his paper.

It was a vibrant red.

His painting was freeform at best, a red figure with their arms and legs spread out, and red dripping down from their midsection. Grabbing the black paint, he began a single line around the figure, spiraling out, until most of the page was black with the red figure in the center.

Some watched him work, but most said nothing. Only one person dared to quietly ask, "Do you think he feels bad about it?"

Nobody spoke, but the general consensus was 'no.'

Still, as long as he was expressing himself as opposed to vandalizing other people's work...

Every guilty thought was resurfacing, and Ben knew he wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer. Nor was it like he could go crying to Hullahaz.

He leaned back, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath, and then another.

And another.

Until the wave of tears passed.

Picking up his belongings, he wandered back into the supply room, eyes trailing back over to the stack on the shelf. A few of them had gotten knocked down to the floor again, so he moved to pick them up.

As he pushed them back into the cubby, he could see a crumpled piece of paper shoved to the back, and reaching a hand in, pulled it out to inspect it.

He unfolded the paper and smoothed it out, before turning it over. Gasping, he let go, and it floated back down to the ground.

The drawing was rather sketchy, but it was shaded and obviously intended to one day be made into a painting.

Sporting big eyes and a tender expression, the drawing clearly depicted Ben.

Roger had begun working on it since before Ben had even joined the art class, and, due to his antsy nature, had forgotten to work on it once the other had actually joined.

Now the sketch lay on the floor, looking back up at its model.

Ben had backed up against the wall, clutching his chest, as tears streamed down his face.

_Why?? Why??_

He knew he couldn't leave the room like this, so he just curled up and cried as quietly as possible in the corner.

If anyone else found the sketch, they might either tear it up or use it as evidence of something deeper going on between them, and neither option made Ben very happy, so he reached forward and began folding it up, stuffing it in his pocket.

Even now, there was some sentimental value in the art. All of it. Ben moved forward and started folding up his favorite paintings of Roger's trying not to damage them as put them in his pocket. It might look fishy, but if a guard stopped him, all they'd find would be innocuous artwork.

The tears passed relatively quickly, and he wiped them off his cheeks before going back to cleaning up, heading back to his cell relatively quickly. But not before grabbing the old painting he did of his cellmates and Roger.

Nobody approached him, even if they did suspect him of crying or 'stealing'. The chances of Roger ever returning to the class were slim.

Nobody had any news about him still.

In fact, at lunch, people had begun insisting that he had died.

Kingston tried to get more information, but nobody seemed to provide any- they just said they hadn't seen him since he was taken to the infirmary, so his body had probably been disposed of.

Ben didn't go to lunch. Instead he sat in the cell, all of the paintings he had saved laid out on the floor, but the unfinished portrait of Ben sat squarely in front of him.

The sickly feeling of guilt hung in the room, Ben merely sitting down in the middle of all the paintings, hugging his knees and staring at the familiar face on the paper in front of him with tired eyes.

Roger had deserved Ben's anger. He had deserved all of it. What he hadn't deserved, of course, was every single thing leading up to his betrayal.

He knew this. The prison knew this. He'd been put in that cell for the exact same reason Ben had been put in his: the outcome had been drastically different, however.

Ben let his eyes close as he sat there on the floor. He wasn't sure what his inmates would think of the mess he'd made, nor what _Hullahaz_ would think of Ben moping over the other man, and instead sorely hoped that perhaps instead he'd be comforted again, though he didn't bank on it.

The painting he'd done of his cellmates and Roger was lying face-down on Hullahaz's bed.

As it so happened, Hullahaz was the first one to return to the cell. He took a step back from shock at how much _paper_ was in the cell, but instead of asking what the deal was, once he saw Ben was upset, he crouched down beside him.

"Stuff not lookin' the way you want it to?"

Ben leaned against Hullahaz a bit, sighing.

"I don't really know how to feel I guess. About him. Or even, how he felt about _me_. It's all so messed up..." Reaching forward, he began pulling the papers into a pile, putting the night sky painting over the unfinished sketch. His eyes flickered over to his cellmate's bed and he cleared his throat a bit.

"I did that one, on your bed. Didn't want to leave it in the art room any longer."

"Oh, these are his?" Hullahaz had never seen any of Ben's work, so he hadn't known the drawings didn't belong to him. Touching the portrait cautiously, he frowned. "This place brings out the worst in people. Shit like these activities is just so they can say they tried."

They were good, though, and if he didn't feel white hot rage towards Roger for betraying _his_ (ex) wife, he wouldn't mind having one pinned to the wall by his bed.

"You not plannin' on goin' back?" He asked, flipping the paper over to inspect it. He smiled, softness returning to his eyes. "You got my frown down pretty good."

Ben stood up and placed the stack of paintings on the table face-down.

"I'll go back I'm sure, but I don't know for how much longer. Not so long as I have to listen to others talk about it..." The comment about the frown made him smirk momentarily, but it faded quickly.

"Yeah, that'll be goin' on a while." Against his better judgement, as usual, he continued. "People're sayin' he died."

He wasn't sure someone could die from being stabbed with a toothbrush, but he didn't doubt that the medical staff here was utterly incompetent.

Ben shivered and froze, hoping it wasn't true. Not only did he not want Roger to be dead, he wasn't sure how he'd _live_ with himself, knowing he'd killed someone.

At least then he and Hullahaz would have one thing in common.

"I'd probably have a longer sentence if he did, so I doubt it..."

 "Yeah, that's what I thought too. Might a been somethin' else, or it might just be everyone here is fulla shit. My money's on the latter."

Lying down on the bed, he let the drawing rest on his chest. "Not enough happens round here."

The door swung open, and it was soon a full house.

"Just don't bring it up, okay? Do yourself a favor and..." Kingston trailed off as he spotted Ben.

Ben turned around to face the two men and he felt his chest tighten.

"What's going on? Is it about..." _Him_?

He hoped it wasn't, but his head knew better

"It... I mean, people are talking," Kingston began.

"They're starting to fear you, so this might be a good thing." McDonagh spoke up, but Kingston shot him a dirty look.

"What he means is, we don't think you did anything wrong."

Ben sighed, unsure of what to make of the information that some people feared him. Not that it would be enough to protect him on his own.

"Thanks guys..." He was thankful for their support, and turned to look at Hullahaz.

"You two should look at the paper that's resting on him."

"Hey", he said almost humorously, putting a hand up. He didn't react when McDonagh put a firm hand on his chest, lifting the piece of paper up.

His brow furrowed more than usual as his face began to turn pink.

Kingston had to get an inch from the page, but he soon said "Ooohhh! That's me, isn't it?"

Ben felt himself smile proudly, and he walked over to them, thankful that they weren't acknowledging the painting of Roger in the bottom right section of the page.

"Y-yeah, I just really felt like drawing you all. Since you guys are basically my only friends here." It felt weird calling Roger a friend.

Kingston grinned and gave Ben a hard pat on the back. "Friends, huh? Even this asshole here?"

McDonagh grunted, but also felt he hadn't really done enough to be considered a friend (even though he had). Kingston felt the same, but of course he was far more vocal about it.

"I'm glad you consider me a friend even after trying to get in your pants on your first night."

Ben elbowed Kingston and laughed.

"Eh, I think you got your just desserts that night from even trying. Which makes up for it." He gave him a wink.

His stomach rumbled a bit, and he remembered the orange from earlier.

"If you want, we can hang it up on the wall," he said as he grabbed out the fruit and began peeling it.

"Hang it on the ceiling so I can see it before bed," McDonagh joked, putting a hand in his pocket.

"C'mon, dude, then I'd never be able to see it!" Kingston whined.

"You wouldn't be able to see it no matter where the fuck we put it."

Hullahaz was already hanging it up by the sink as they bickered.

Ben watched Hullahaz hang up the painting in the midst of the squabble, and he smiled at him, thankful for him putting it somewhere everyone in the cell (including Kingston) could see it and enjoy it.

As Ben rubbed his face on his sleeve, he noticed how smelly he and his clothes were, and he cringed.

"Ugh, I need to go shower and do some laundry." He knew full well he couldn't shower on his own at this time of day, so he looked over at the others and cleared his throat.

"Could one of you stay with me in the shower? I really need one."

"Sure!" Kingston was almost instantaneous in his proposal. He went crazy if his dreads started feeling too dry.

"I can't leave the cell until later," Hullahaz clarified, "but I'll join when I can."

He was no fool. He knew what would most likely happen to Ben.

"I'll do the laundry... again..." the Irishman sighed. "Since it's my fucking job now. I'll take the clothes from you when you get to the shower, so take your other uniform too."

Ben nodded and grabbed the extra clothes as he picked up his towel, and sticking close to Kingston and McDonagh, walked down to the shower.

He was entirely oblivious to the company within.

It was a shame McDonagh barely set foot in the bathroom, or he would have been able to _at least_ offer his support in the upcoming situation.

Kingston was cheerily preparing himself for a shower when he was suddenly shoved back, a short gasp following.

"Step aside, methhead."

As much as he wanted to clarify that he only _made_ the meth, he was unable to confront the brick houses in front of him. "Uuuuuh, Ben?"

Ben's blood ran cold when he heard a familiar voice speaking to him. Turning around, he saw the men from Roger's cell, naked and closing in on him, the route to Kingston blocked.

He was completely surrounded against the wall.

Words failed him, and his mouth hung open in shock, body shaking.

Kingston wasted no time in _bolting_ out of the room, half naked and ready to scream bloody murder.

The men cracked their knuckles and displayed themselves proudly- one of them reached out to grab Ben's neck.

"You should've just stayed put. We would have been done with you soon enough."

" _You cost us our toy_."

Ben yelped as his throat was grabbed, and suddenly his nightmare from over a week ago came rushing back. Except now it was like having _three_ of his dad there.

"I-I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to!" He was wide-eyed in terror.

"Didn't mean to?" The one holding him laughed. "Didn't mean to..."

"As if you just stabbed him as an accident," another added with a scoff. "You're no better than us."

"That's right," the third spoke- god, they were like a hivemind- approaching him to grab him by the arm, applying serious pressure. "And now we're going to teach you a lesson."

Ben cried out in pain and whimpered, eyes welling up as he felt the pressure on his neck. He couldn't see past the men, so as far as he was concerned, this was his world.

In fact, it might be the last thing he ever saw. Pain rippled through his body as his sight watered up.

This was Roger's reality. Every single night, this was what he saw, what he felt.

Except in Roger's case, no one ever burst the door open.

"Fuck do you think you're doin'?" A familiar deep voice came from behind them.

The man holding Ben's neck rolled his eyes. Not turning around, he addressed the other two. "Deal with him, would you?"

 _Hullahaz_.

As much as he wanted to cry out to him for help, he couldn't get his words out above a whisper. The other men moved away, but there was one still there with him, pinning him back against the wall.

He was more terrified than the day Roger betrayed him.

Hullahaz didn't hesitate as the men approached him. Unlike their leader, they weren't talkers- they leapt right into the action, so, of course, as did he.

Sending a bench violently crashing to the ground, he kicked at one of the legs with such force that it broke off. One of the men lunged at him, and he avoided him just in time to secure the leg as a weapon.

Without a second's wait, he swung his arm, connecting the piece of wood _hard_ against the head of the man who'd gone for him. The other, in mild shock, took a moment to go after him. Hullahaz used this to his advantage and drove the leg into the second man's stomach, winding him considerably.

He then spun around and administered a second cranial blow to the first man. Hearing a crack, he noticed the leg had snapped, and with a grunt he smashed the larger piece into the back of the second man's leg, sending him to the floor.

With the first too dizzy to move, he was free to stomp on the second man until he was only wheezing.

The man holding Ben didn't dare turn around.

Ben could only see parts of the fight going on around him, but he was utterly _mortified_ by the level of violence, _especially_ on his behalf.

But he was also still within the grasp of the one man, and was too paralyzed in fear to do anything about it.

Hullahaz, now standing directly behind the man, his sleeves rolled up, spoke slowly and deliberately, never raising his voice above a casual tone.

"I suggest you let go."

The man didn't make up his mind fast enough for Hullahaz's liking. Although his grip on Ben had begun to loosen, the tattooed man took matters into his own hands by displaying a surge of brute force with which he spun the man around. He then administered a hefty punch to his face, before slamming his head down against one of the hot water buttons, triggering the shower to come on.

The man yelled in pain as blood began to trickle down his forehead.

Unblinking, Hullahaz rolled his sleeves back down. "Get up."

He didn't need to tell the men what would happen if they tried this shit again, but he decided to imply it nonetheless.

"Remember- I got eyes everywhere."

Dragging the third man out, the other two men shot him looks of utter disgust.

Ben slid to the floor, watching the remainder of the blood swirl down the drain. He didn't move, nor even look up at Hullahaz, still frozen in terror.

His mind went fuzzy and the sounds around him faded into white noise, the violence he had just seen swirling around in his vision.

Hullahaz took the occasion to strip naked and stand under the stream of water activated by his final act of violence. He turned to Ben and spoke to him, but nothing seemed to be sinking in.

"You okay?" Pause. Again. "Are you okay?"

Nothing. Time for a different approach.

"Not gonna shower?"

Ben looked up at him slowly, the tears from earlier streaming down his face, although he was no longer crying.

Sliding an arm behind him, he steadily pushed himself back up, leaning against the wall until he was back on his feet properly. Moving into the shower's spray, he stood in the water for a moment before stumbling forward and grabbing his towel. Ben dried himself off silently and pulled on his clothes, moving over to stand by the door while he waited for Hullahaz to finish his own shower.

He would properly shower another day.

The man didn't say anything as he got dressed again, though he kept an eye on Ben to see if he needed any help. He doubted he'd ask.

Outside, he was cuffed even more aggressively than usual, and the guard escorting him narrowed his eyes at him. Hullahaz didn't react in any way, shape or form.

As soon as he was back in the cell, he climbed into bed.

Kingston approached Ben, worry written on his face. "Are you okay? I tried to get him in there as soon as I could."

Ben gave Kingston a small nod before placing his hand on the ladder to his bunk. He planned on sleeping in his own (he had long since lost his appetite for dinner), but looking down at Hullahaz, he felt his heart tug to lie with him.

Ben wasn't terribly sure how he felt, be it scared of Hullahaz or safe with him, but he still _trusted_ him.

After all, in a way, he had just saved his life.

The skeleton man tried very hard not to feel personal offense at Ben wanting to sleep in his own bed. After all, he'd just put on a terrifying display. He wouldn't sleep beside himself either.

One thing was certain, though. There would be no doubt in the prison now that Ben was not to be messed with.

He hadn't meant to scare the guy, especially not after having made out with him, but he'd felt nothing but incandescent fury at the sight of Ben being cornered. He feared what would have happened had Kingston not told him to hurry up.

Ben released his hand from the bunk ladder and blinked once slowly before ducking down a bit and climbing into Hullahaz's bed. Curling up into a tight ball facing him, he shut his eyes and refused to open them, ignoring anyone else.

The shock had started wearing off, and he didn't want to feel alone as he dealt with all the emotions that came with realizing what had almost happened to him.

He rubbed the spot where he had been grabbed earlier by the arm, a faint bruise already showing.

Hullahaz let a gentle arm wrap around Ben, wanting to offer his support but also let him have his space. He stayed very still, but was internally sighing with relief that Ben didn't entirely fear him.

McDonagh kept commenting over how he should have been there, but Kingston hushed him by getting him to try and boil some tea with him.

Hullahaz eventually began to rub Ben's back slowly, as a sort of apology.

Ben flinched a bit at the touch, only because unexpected touching made him jumpy. To show he wasn't afraid of him, he moved a bit closer as he felt his back being rubbed, taking a deep breath.

Riding out the worst of the feelings, he was starting to calm down.

Hullahaz's touch only seemed to become warmer as the rubs increased in circumference. Although the other two didn't want to overwhelm him, they brought him over a cup of the tea they'd managed to make with Kingston's tiny burner.

No one had ever done anything like this for them, but Ben was _young_ and his 'crime' had only been trying to survive.

Ben reluctantly opened his eyes and looked over at Kingston, taking the tea from him and nodding appreciatively. He sat up a bit to sip it, blowing off the surface before taking a sip, and silently offering some to Hullahaz.

He took the cup gently, not wanting to seem rude, before taking a little sip and nodding. He couldn't taste much, but he understood the message behind it. He placed the cup back between Ben's hands, knowing it would keep him warm.

That night would be odd for sure.

Ben hadn't moved from Hullahaz's side the entire time, and he nearly fell asleep a few times too, but managed to stay awake. Come lights out, he laid there, awake, but waited until Kingston and McDonagh were other asleep before talking.

"What a day. Can't say I haven't had days similar to it before though. Of course... Those days ended a lot more differently."

Hullahaz had kept his arm around Ben the whole time, having neglected dinner again despite the intense rumbling of his stomach. When, in the dark, his companion spoke, it took him a moment to reply.

"Perks of the job?" Hullahaz was expecting interactions with bad clients and Ben's pimp. Did Ben have a pimp? He almost didn't want to ask.

Ben shook his head.

"Bad clients weren't really much of an issue for me."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he followed with, "But having someone be angry enough with you for something you aren't really to blame for, well...."

He still dodged saying it outright.

"You remember when I had my nightmare? It was about him." Ben avoided using the term "dad" just yet.

"Ah..." Hullahaz knew it would be story time, and he wanted Ben to know he was listening, so he sat up just a bit.

"Anger's always redirected towards the most vulnerable, yeah."

But to have a nightmare of such treatment? Hullahaz hoped Ben wouldn't have any tonight.

"It won't happen again, I promise." An empty promise in the outside world.

Ben smiled for a moment and leaned in closer to him.

"I may not have been arrested for it, but I'm a murderer too. _He_ never let me forget it, either."

He turned in to face Hullahaz more and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I never told anyone in here before, but I'm responsible for the deaths of my sister and mother..." His whole body shook, making it clear that there was some cognitive dissonance going on inside him.

Having Ben get closer to him concerned him. He felt the simultaneous urge to protect him and run away, not wanting part of any more misery. What he said, though, made his eyes widen.

Ben didn't seem like the type to mean anything like that at all, especially not after how he'd reacted to shanking Roger.

"...Accident?"

"I was thirteen. I was supposed to escort my sister home from school every day. One day I didn't. Someone took her.

"Her body was found a week later." Bringing this all up was hard, but he felt it was important to tell him.

"My mom was distraught, killed herself shortly after. My dad......." He trailed off as his body shook even more.

"Well, I'm not a good for nothing whore for no reason anyway."

Hullahaz, as much as he wanted to sit still and listen, let his hand trail down Ben's arm, fingertips 'walking' on his skin. Thirteen sounded like far too young to be held accountable for murder.

"Whoever took your sis probably had that shit planned for a long time. They were waitin' for you to slip up. Not your fault- not really, anyway." Pausing to swallow a cough, he continued. "Losin' a kid is every good mother's worst nightmare. She died the moment your sis did. Not your fault."

His blood ran cold at the implications of what Ben's father had done, but he kept quiet for the moment.

Ben gritted his teeth. Through all the years, no one had told him anything other than that he was responsible (primarily his father). It was very hard for Ben to believe him.

"Then I killed three things that day, including my dad's love for me. Every time after, when I made him mad, he'd grab me and... Remind me of the pain."

He instinctively curled up a bit.

"You didn't kill anythin'. Least, you didn't mean to. Whatever your dad did..." His teeth were gritting now, threatening to break as his knuckles whitened.

"I'm sure he deserves to be in here much more than you do."

He wondered if there was any need to expand upon that.

Ben moved a hand to Hullahaz's chest and gripped his uniform tightly, body trying not to shake.

"L-last I saw him was at my trial. First time in two years since I ran away. Honestly, I was thankful for the verdict, if it meant I would be free from him for a year guaranteed."

"You gonna have to see him again once you get out?" Hullahaz couldn't imagine prison being someone's freedom...

"Cause if you do, I suggest gettin' another toothbrush." It was perhaps not a good thing to bring up, and it probably looked like he was joking, but he _wasn't_.

Ben sighed. "I'm gonna stay _far_ away from him. I'm gonna be 21 when I'm out, so I don't have to be around him."

Oh, that's right. Ben was 20. He couldn't remember the exact age, but somehow the reminder made his stomach drop.

"...Right. Good."

Ben went silent for a few moments before curiosity took over.

"So... What kinda shit did you do to wind up in prison? I mean, I know murder, but no one's really explained anything... If you don't want to answer, that's fine."

"Mm..." He didn't know what to say that hadn't probably been told to Ben already. "Someone... took my sister away too."

His knuckles became whiter still under the ink.

"Walked free."

Ben opened his eyes and looked up into Hullahaz's, looking deeply empathetic.

"I-I'm sorry...." But he knew where the story was headed, and that the man had gotten his just desserts.

"Didn't lose her like you did." His hand found his way to Ben's, clutching into his fingers without really noticing.

"The shit he did to her _broke_ her. Couldn't testify in court. He kept denyin' it was him but I knew. I... saw it in his eyes."

His heart went out for Hullahaz's sister, and for him, and he slid his hand up to the other man's cheek, stroking it gently with his thumb.

"I guess that, like my dad's way of punishing me, is all in the past now..."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It hadn't ended yet, because his sister was still alive and still unresponsive and he didn't know if he'd ever hear her voice again.

"People wouldn't fear me if I'd just killed the fuck and ran."

Ben felt a chill run down his spine.

"S-so... What happened?"

"Found him and fuckin' disemboweled him while he was still alive. Fed him his own dick." Looking up at the top bunk, he took a deep breath. "It all felt like a dream. He fell apart so quick in my hands."

Ben tried not to think about what that looked like. It made him sick to his stomach.

But he understood how Hullahaz had been acting on rage over an injustice, and didn't blame him.

"I'm glad he died feeling the way he probably did." He didn't really have the right words.

"Me too." He fell quiet for a while before admitting something he never thought he'd say to anyone.

"The reason they found me naked and covered in blood wasn't cause I was braggin' or fuckin' the corpse. It was because I was in shock. I couldn't say a word in court."

He felt tears well in his eyes, and he blinked them away.

"Just like her."

Ben embraced him even more and gave him a soft kiss on his chin, his own heart _aching_ for the other man.

He'd never tell anyone what he'd just been told, but now more than ever, he knew that the man beside him wasn't a monster in any way. It helped Ben feel that much safer.

Hullahaz remained quiet and still for a good while, finally leaning down to kiss Ben on the top of his head. Not even his previous inmate love had known about this. Perhaps it was due to all the exposure he'd had to Ben's pain that he'd finally caved.

"'Course, killin' him didn't bring her back."

Ben's vision went fuzzy as he imagined his father, and he spoke without thinking.

"Neither did raping me."

Lowering his head back down, he buried his face in Hullahaz's chest and gripped him tightly.

"S-sorry, I'm not talking about you or to you with that... Just kinda... Reacted." He hoped dearly that the other man didn't think he was telling him that _he_ had raped him.

"And I'm sorry I brought _that_ up again..."

He understood. He didn't say anything at first, but he wrapped his arms around Ben securely and gave him a squeeze. The younger man would probably be able to feel every single muscle in Hullahaz's body tensing. He knew what he'd done had been, at _most_ , coercion, so he didn't feel like it was directed at him anyway.

Yet he still worried about Ben's state.

"No parent should hate their child like that."

He didn't want Ben to apologize, but he didn't want to tell him to stop out of fear he might react negatively.

Ben pulled himself in closer and sighed, happy to at least be comforted by Hullahaz.

"I mean...I know he was upset and didn't know how to deal with things. I didn't either! But I just.....I didn't deserve it, I don't think. Even if he did _everything_ to justify it, to make me believe I _did_ deserve it."

Moving his head up a bit, he nuzzled it under Hullahaz's and took deep breaths.

"To this day, I still question it. I try to convince myself that I didn't, but somewhere in the back of my mind I hear his voice telling me that I killed them. And that may never go away."

Pausing, he groaned a bit.

"I'll drop it now though. It's not my favorite thing to think about."

"No, no, I don't give a fuck what happened, you don't do that to someone. It fixes nothin' to try and traumatize your kid by crossin' that boundary. It's bad enough to hit 'em. That's ten times worse."

I'll kill him, he thought. I'll find a way to get him in here and I'll fuckin' kill him.

Rubbing Ben's back more insistently, he decided not to press on the matter, since the day had been miserable enough already.

"You didn't kill anyone," he whispered.

Ben nodded slowly, trying his best to believe that answer, and he actually did, though the nagging doubt persisted.

"Since I know I didn't say it before, thank you. For earlier. I'd probably be busted into pieces right now if you hadn't stepped in." He wrapped his arms around Hullahaz a bit tighter.

"I shoulda gotten there sooner," was his answer. Ben should be thanking Kingston for sounding the alarms. Otherwise he might have been too late.

"And all I really did was scare you. I'm sorry." He felt like he was going to be suffocated, but he didn't move away. He felt like it would only make matters worse.

Ben shrugged. "No one else would have stepped up to them. Me being scared is just a side effect of being so close to violence. I would have been far _more_ scared if you had never shown up."

He released Hullahaz a bit and curled up close, settling in to sleep as he felt it approaching.

Hullahaz put a hand on the back of Ben's head, stroking his hair lightly. He understood. He'd had a release of energy that day like he hadn't had since that prick had asked him how his sister was doing. Eyes closing, he gently pulled the blanket over Ben before whispering yet another thing he'd never told anyone outright since his arrival.

"My name was Zeke."

Ben smiled as he drifted off, thinking about what Zeke was like.

His dreams were pleasant, with Hullahaz making a prominent appearance.

The next morning was one of many mornings in which Hullahaz discreetly placed a kiss on Ben's forehead before he woke up. As time went by, he became more relaxed in the cell, offering his other inmates a smile or two from time to time.

McDonagh got in at least four more fights by the time visiting day rolled by, and Kingston's plant had flourished.

Ben didn't think he would have any visitors, so when he was told that he had one, he began panicking. The only person he believed would visit him was his father, and he _certainly_ didn't want to see him.

As a form of emotional support, Ben asked Hullahaz to accompany him to the visiting room, even if he was only standing near him while he talked to... whomever it was who wanted to see him.

Unfortunately for Hullahaz, he couldn't linger around people due to his sentence, and could only be in the visitor area if he himself had a visitor. Still, though, he promised he wouldn't be far.

However, if he were able to sneak past and pretend one of the waiting visitors was there for him...

 Ben was led into the room, a guard gesturing to a desk for Ben to sit at. When he sat down, his eyes widened and he gasped.

" _Aunt Stacy!?"_

Spotting a little old lady, Hullahaz slid right up to the desk and crossed his cuffed hands, smiling at her.

"Richie...? Oh dear, what have they done to your face?"

Ben placed his hand down on the desk and stared at the middle-aged woman sitting across from him, who had a big smile on her face. She was already holding the phone in her hand, and Ben, still jaw-dropped, picked up the receiver on his side, reaching his hand forward to touch his fingertips to the glass. His aunt moved her hand over to his, touching the glass in return.

"It's so good to see you Ben..." Her voice was warm and kind, and hearing it made him feel like a child again, safe and happy.

He had spent many nights at her place avoiding his father, and she always made sure to come and tuck him in, even though he was a teenager. It was just nice to feel loved by someone, so he didn't mind being 14 or 16 and having his aunt tuck him in and kiss his forehead goodnight.

She had moved halfway across the country when he turned 17, which proved to be the tipping point for him, and his final year at home was utter hell before he became an adult and fled his home (his dad). It had been a little over three years since he'd last seen her.

"W-why did you-"

"Because I _had_ to visit my favorite nephew! Even if he did get arrested, I still love him dearly." There was a soft giggle in her voice, and although Ben's mouth still hung open, it slowly transformed into a smile.

Stacy's smile dropped a little bit. "Such a shame though... You getting arrested. I talked with your father and all he told me was that you got caught trying to... eugh..." Moving her mouth closer to the receiver, she almost looked pained, "Offer sex to someone for money." Clearly this wasn't the word choice his father had used when speaking to her.

"Sorry, it's just hard to talk about you that way."

Ben sighed, looking down. "Yeah, I can imagine." His eyes looked to the side, but not back up at her. "Sorry to be so disappointing..."

Leaning in closer, Stacy huffed. "You're not a disappointment! And that's not what I mean. I just... don't know where things went wrong to make you feel like you had to resort to _that_."

With a long groan, Ben placed his elbow on the desk and rested his head next to his hand, gripping his hair.

His aunt had absolutely no knowledge of what had been going on behind the closed doors of his father's home, since Ben had always been too shy to say anything. Too afraid of his dad. Too afraid that he wouldn't be _believed_. As much as it hurt to bring up yet again, he felt as though his aunt deserved to know what her brother had done.

Ben spoke in a low voice.

"Well, I just went with what I knew I was good at. You know, since apparently that's what dad thought I was good at. Aside from fucking _him_ over." Even suggesting it made him sick to his stomach on his aunt's behalf.

Any trace of a smile that she had on her face had instantly vanished. "What are you suggesting Ben?" Panic gripped him. Maybe she DIDN'T believe him, maybe she'd get mad at him for accusing her brother of being a child molester, a sexual abuser. Maybe she'd storm out in anger, the last trace of family that cared about him going with her.

Ben neither looked up nor replied. His aunt placed her hand against the glass.

" _What did he do to you?_ " The pain in her quiet voice made his gut clench, and he closed his eyes, feeling tears well up.

"After mom and Winnie, he just... _got so angry_. At _me_. And... and..." Words failed him. Tears were dripping down from his eyes onto the desk, and held his face in his hand, sniffling.

"Oh, hun..." Stacy felt herself well up, a flash of anger burning in her as she realized that for so many years she'd been ignorant of what her brother had been doing to his son, and she became wracked with guilt. Especially now, seeing how it had led down this path for the boy. "I'm so _sorry_...."

Ben sniffed back more tears and looked up at his aunt, a small smile on his face. "Y-you'd be the first family member to know. T-thank you for believing me."

Hullahaz, who had been entertaining the little old lady (nanna, apparently), kept a close eye on Ben and saw that he was crying. He closed his eyes to listen to what was being said, but decided against it. This was Ben's private conversation. He was just there for moral support.

"Richie, darling, you look so tired..."

Stacy wanted so badly to break down the glass between them and cuddle her nephew, but unfortunately she was restricted to keeping the palm of her hand against it. Ben placed his own on the other side, feeling the warmth of her love for him through the glass.

"As far as I'm concerned, your father is no longer a part of the family. At least not MY family. I'm so sorry I didn't know..."

Ben gave her a big smile. "It's okay, I don't hold anything against you for it. Besides, he was trying to keep it secret. And for being none the wiser, staying at your place made life much more bearable."

His aunt was hearing him, but she was also still a bit lost in her headspace as she remembered all the times Ben had stayed with her, telling her all sorts of ridiculous reasons he wanted to be at her place, the conversations she'd had with her brother where she had been supportive and loving to him in how he coped with his grief, realizing why Ben never wanted to go to the pool, or why he'd sometimes scream when she opened up his door a bit too quickly.

It all _haunted_ her.

Noticing how his aunt had started getting lost in her thoughts, he gave her a soft "hey."

She looked up into his eyes, cheeks wet with tears.

"I'll be okay. I promise."

Stacy smiled back up at him and wiped her eyes. "I-I know you will... You're in here for a year, right? Tell you what, when you're out, you can come live with me. I know it's far away from where you're used to, but I think that'll be good for you. You know, until you get yourself situated and can move out."

Ben's eyes widened. "Y-you mean it??" He had only been partially considering what his life would be like after prison, and although he wanted to do something other than hooking, he didn't know how to do anything else to earn money, especially with him having been to prison. The chance to be happy living with his aunt, having her help him out until he could stand on his own again, filled him with joy.

Nodding, she sighed happily. "You mean so much to me Ben, I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to wind up killed on the side of the road, back in prison, or anything like that." She paused. "Speaking of, have you been okay in here?"

Ben leaned back and glanced over at the desk Hullahaz was sitting at, a smirk forming.

"Yeah, I've been fine." He didn't want to bring up Roger, both because it _still_ hurt, but also because it would take too long to explain. "I've actually got really cool cellmates."

As Ben prepared to talk about them, he realized how that sounded. "Yes, they're criminals, obviously. But outside of that, they're actually good people. There's Kingston, who got busted for making meth, but he's a lovable idiot more than anything, McDonagh, an angry Irish American guy who got busted for arson and cage fighting, but is actually a decent guy so long as he gets to punch things every now and then..." Trailing off, he leaned in close to the receiver.

"And Hullahaz, who was arrested for murder. But since day one, he's looked out for me." He watched as his aunt visibly clenched up at the mention of murder, but she settled down after hearing her nephew talk about him.

"W-well, I trust your judgment of people. So I'll take your word for it." Ben felt his stomach churn, being reminded of Roger.

"A-actually, if you look over at the other desk, he's chatting up some random stranger. I just wanted him around since, well... I didn't know it was you who would be visiting."

Stacy glanced around the divider to see a heavily tattooed and pierced man talking to the poor woman who didn't know any better. He certainly _looked_ like the kind of guy who killed people. But if he had been protecting her beloved nephew while he had been in prison, then she was more than thankful for him being there.

She knew her time to talk to Ben was coming to a close, and moving her head back over to the receiver, tried to get out the rest of what she wanted to say.

"I've got a small request, but first, I wanted to let you know I brought you some homemade cookies that you can eat once they pass inspection. A little something from home, your new home, to keep your spirits up."

Ben gasped, a grin forming on his face. His Aunt Stacy ran her own bakery, having been adept at cooking ever since she was little, and any of her cooking or baking was _incredible_.

"Thank you!! Oh my god, thank you!" He could already taste them in his mouth...

Stacy opened her mouth to speak when Ben interjected, remembering something he wanted to ask her.

"Wait, can I ask you a favor too?" He rubbed his fingers together anxiously. She smiled back at him and nodded.

"Will you please write to me? It would help a lot."

"Of course Ben, I'll write to you once a month. I promise. But first," Pausing, she noticed the guards waiting to lead her back out.

"Can you put your friend on the phone? Just for a moment."

Ben hadn't anticipated hearing her ask that, so he sat there dumbfounded for a moment before moving his head over to Hullahaz.

"Hey, she wants to talk to you. Not for long or anything."

He glanced over at the guards, narrowing his eyes for a moment before figuring he'd at least have a legitimate excuse to speak to someone. Standing up, he leaned over onto the desk.

"Sorry, nanna. I gotta go. Duty calls."

The _moment_ he walked away from the little sad old lady, the real Richie pulled up.

"Nanna, what the hell were you doing talking to that guy!?"

Hullahaz had to stifle a laugh as he walked over to Ben, giving him a nod before sitting down in his place, holding the phone.

"Hello."

The other man was incredibly intimidating, but she didn't look away from him.

"Thank you. For protecting him. It means more to me than you'll ever know. I just want you to know that."

A guard walked over to her, and before she hung up, she managed to get out a few final words.

"Tell him I love him for me, please."

In moments, she had left, and Ben looked down at Hullahaz to see what that had been about.

He could give her endless reasons as to why she shouldn't be thanking him for finally showing some decency after six years, but he decided against it. Instead, he merely nodded, murmuring a quiet "you're welcome."

Holding the phone away from himself for a second as she was about to be escorted away, he looked up at Ben.

"She says she loves you."

He turned just in time to watch her go.

Ben's face softened into a smile, and he waited to head to the office to see when the cookies would be cleared.

"If you have to go back to the cell, that's fine. I'm just gonna check on the cookies she brought me and then head up."

He nodded again , not saying a word as he put his arm around Ben and gave his side a good firm rub. He was silently offering his support. It was a bit uncomfortable, as it meant in fact _both_ arms were around Ben, but he released him soon enough to return to his cell.

He couldn't wait to be reprimanded.

Ben ducked off after the hug and sped to the office, discovering that the cookies had cleared inspection in record time, and grabbing the box (which had been adorned with small doodles his aunt had drawn for him), went back up to the cell.

In truth, he really couldn't wait to _share_ the cookies.

Back at the cell, he was met with open arms- mainly because they thought he'd been visited by his case worker again. "What's up? What's that you got?" Kingston began interrogating.

McDonagh furrowed his brow and approached slowly. "No one was here to bother you, right?"

Ben shook his head happily. He sat down on the edge of Hullahaz's bed and turned the box away from him, doing a dramatic reveal of the cookies inside, a smirk on his face.

"From my baker aunt."

There were chocolate chip cookies, macadamia nut cookies, sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies, and more. If there was anything Ben knew he couldn't get tired of eating, it was his aunt's cooking and baking. He'd _always_ find room for it.

The men stared at the contents as if they hadn't seen good food in years (they hadn't), and McDonagh quickly went over to the burner to try and make more tea. Stronger this time.

"Think your aunt has room for one more family member?" Kingston asked. "I am a pretty good cook, after all..."

"I'm sure she doesn't want to run a bakery with pot brownies," the redhead chastised the blonde.

Hullahaz merely smiled before gently pressing his forehead to the back of Ben's neck. He was exhausted. He'd been around regular people (sweet old ladies) for too long.

Ben grinned and pushed the box forward. "You can have some, but leave at least two of each for me. I haven't... had her baking in years." His smile faded a bit, but he shook his head to focus back on the box.

"I'll wait to get mine after you've all gotten yours."

His aunt had to have worked an entire day on these cookies, seeing as there were so many different kinds and so MANY of each kind.

"Hey, no way, man, they're your cookies, you get to eat them first." Kingston pushed the box further into Ben's hands, golden canines glowing as he grinned wide.

McDonagh didn't argue, simply pouring the tea into a thermos. In the absence of more than one mug, this seemed fairer to do.

Hullahaz's arms wrapped around Ben, and no one had anything to say about it.

Ben chuckled and grabbed one, taking a bite in a hurry and practically moaning at the taste.

"Holy FUCK you guys. She's outdone herself for sure..." Turning a little bit, he brought the chocolate chip cookie up to Hullahaz's mouth so he could have a bite.

"Try it, please!"

He opened his mouth and took a bite of the cookie as commanded (honestly, at this point, the other two knew better than to bring it up), and licked his lips once he'd swallowed.

"Yeah, this is... Real good."

That was all the approval the men needed. They dug into the box, passing the flask around as they enjoyed the gift.

It made Ben incredibly happy to see them enjoying the cookies, since it was almost a way for a part of the outside world to touch the very differently world inside, and seeing his cellmates eating the cookies _his_ aunt made helped him think about what things would be like for them on the outside.

Though perhaps not _all_ of them. The thought saddened him, and he closed the box after a short while, nuzzling in close to Hullahaz as he continued to eat.

He kept his arms wrapped around Ben as he ate at a much slower pace than the rest of them, but he did observe the change in atmosphere. It had done them all good. Somehow, families who barely wrote and barely cared became all the more missed.

Yet nobody seemed sad. In fact, if anything, the box of cookies was making a new, fucked up family inside the cell.

It was an odd thought.


	8. Changes

A few weeks went by without much happening. Ben had asked when everyone's birthday was, but the only not-straightforward answer he got was from McDonagh, and only a few days into the new month, he began pestering him repeatedly for the day.

"Come on, McDonagh, you've got to tell me when your birthday is! You're the only one who hasn't!"

McDonagh finally snapped and replied. "Tomorrow, alright? Tomorrow! Good fuck! Not that it matters, I'll be stuck in here with toilet hooch anyhow!"

He rolled up his sleeves and went back to making his bed. He hated people knowing such personal things about him! It made him feel vulnerable.

Ben sighed, rolling his eyes. _So dramatic_!

At least he finally had a response. This meant he could plan on a birthday gift for him. He still went to art class every other day, and knowing that his cellmate's birthday was in May, wanted to do some art for him. But he'd only started it the day before, so it wasn't finished yet.

However, he did have an _idea_.

Walking over to Hullahaz, he leaned down and whispered to him his plan: a lap dance, followed by wherever things naturally led.

Hullahaz nodded as he listened to Ben, but he ended up looking into his eyes, holding his arms gently.

"Only if you're sure."

The last thing any of them wanted was him feeling like he owed them sex. They had come a long way.

Ben smiled at him. "I am, don't worry. I've been kinda... looking forward to it. He's the only one in this cell I haven't fooled around with at all anyway." Leaning in for a nuzzle, he said more quietly, "Besides, I'm always yours at the end of the day. You know that." He almost _purred_ those words.

Hullahaz chuckled and put a hand on Ben's ass, giving it a tender squeeze. "I ain't worried 'bout that. I just want you to play it safe, that's all. Lotta testosterone in that one."

 _And_ he hadn't had the chance to fuck Kingston in a while. He was probably pent up.

Ben shrugged. "I can handle it. I mean, if we _do_ have sex, we could borrow your lube right? I can pay you back for it if you want me to, but it'd certainly help."

He couldn't help but wave his butt around as he hovered in front of the other man, asking for the favor.

Hullahaz responded by squeezing a little tighter, nodding with a smirk. "I'm gonna need to get more..."

Trailing a hand down Ben's front, he closed his eyes.

Things were looking up.

The following day, Ben downplayed his plans, waiting until after lunch before making any moves. He'd asked Kingston to make sure that McDonagh would be around in the cell in the afternoon, and after a morning shower, Ben was wearing his tank top and pants, the latter which he'd let droop down on his hips quite a bit. He sat down on the edge of Hullahaz's bed and waited, feeling excited about what he'd planned. All he needed now was for the two men to return...

Hullahaz ran his fingers lightly down Ben's spine, as if to encourage and reassure him. If anything began to go south, all he had to do would be look at him.

"You look great," he whispered.

Kingston's insistence on purchasing McDonagh a birthday present much to the latter's dismay was an indicator that they had returned...

Ben cast a loving smile Hullahaz's way before looking back over at the door, hearing their arrival. Ben's heart rate quickened and he leaned forward a bit, showing off his tattoo a bit as he waited for McDonagh to move further into the cell.

He could hardly wait.

As the redhead entered the cell properly, he soon stopped abruptly to stare at Ben, who looked... Well, he looked really good, being honest, but he wasn't sure why he looked so _eager_.

"What's the occasion?"

Oh, _fuck_.

Ben stood up and walked over to McDonagh, letting his hips sway a bit more with each step. He gestured to one of the chairs, indicating he wanted him to sit there. The look he gave the redhead was one of excitement _and_ allure, giving away a hint of what was next, along with a small smirk.

A blush of surprise was already creeping onto McDonagh's face, but he did as he was told, sitting down in the chair with his legs slightly spread apart. Whatever Ben had in mind, he knew it couldn't be bad, but having the other men in the room was...

Well, he'd deal with it.

Ben walked around in front of McDonagh, letting his fingertips trail on his shoulder. His breath shook a bit as he stood between the redhead's legs, leaning forward a bit and pushing out his ass as he licked his lips. Placing his hands on his cellmate's chest, he slid them down slowly, down his abs and thighs, then moving them up his own sides until they rested on his chest.

McDonagh's eyes widened for a moment before half-closing, a smirk replacing his look of shock. He tilted his head and spread his legs further, as if inviting Ben to grind against him- or better.

"Finally decided to give me a try, eh?"

He had to speak to calm his nerves...

Ben giggled flirtatiously. "Oh, I've been wanting to for a while, just figured now would be the _best_ time." With a wink, he slid his hands back down a bit, then up again, this time pulling up his shirt just below his nipples. Moving them to his pants, he turned around and pulled them down only a little bit, giving McDonagh a better view of his tattoo, while swaying his ass back and forth just over his groin.

He wasn't sure if he could touch, but the temptation to reach out and grab Ben's ass was strong. He wanted to pull him down and have him sit on his cock until he got hard, but... Patience. With a chuckle, he licked his lips.

Kingston looked like he was being hypnotized, his expression unblinking and slackjawed. Hullahaz was smiling, hands folded nicely on his chest. Ah, if only that were him.

Ben gripped his ass and pulled his cheeks just a bit before turned back around and placing the back of his hand on McDonagh's chest. He let it trail down to his belly button before sliding it back up, his other hand rubbing the man's inner thigh. Standing up straight, he stretched his arms up high turning his head to the side and swaying side to side. Ben bent forward and moved to straddle McDonagh, placing both of his hands on the redhead's shoulders, and slowly sitting down onto his lap... only to pull back off and giggle.

McDonagh's breath hitched for a moment before he relaxed, letting his arms fall loose at his sides as he felt himself grow, ever so slightly, as Ben touched him. Eyes following Ben's swaying, he put a hand to his lips and chuckled. Once Ben was on him, though, he sighed- only to lose the warmth that had been on his lap for far too little.

"Hey-" He reached an arm out, putting it to the small of Ben's back, before catching Hullahaz's eye. He smiled and let his fingers merely dance along his fellow inmate's skin.

Ben gasped softly and smiled, then began using his thighs to slowly bounce up and down on McDonagh's lap, letting himself gently grind. His own erection was growing as well, which he used to his advantage. Rocking his hips forward, he brushed it up against his cellmate's torso, sighing lightly as leaned back, arching his back up and putting his hands on the back of his head and casting a sultry gaze down at the redhead.

Kingston felt like he was watching something insanely private, and he wanted to grab Hullahaz's arm and run... But he was enraptured. Something about this was so... Alluring. Hullahaz clearly thought the same, for his eyes were half closed and his lips frozen in a small smile.

McDonagh was in heaven. When he felt Ben grind against him, he grew another inch and a half, and he just kept going as he felt his cellmate's cock against his body. The gaze was met with one of his own, and he slowly placed a hand on each of Ben's hips, bringing him slowly closer.

Ben could feel a sizeable cock growing underneath him, which only served to excite him _more_. He bit his lip and started moving a bit faster, putting a hand onto the man's chest so he could steady himself, breath deepening.

Slowly down, he pushed down harder and rolled his hips around, waiting to see what McDonagh made of _that_.

A long, shuddering breath escaped him as he hardened fully, cock pressing up to Ben's crotch as he tightened his grip on him. He wanted to pull the guy down and kiss him, but he knew he wanted to do nothing of the sort as long as the other two were watching.

As if reading his mind, Hullahaz flipped over to face the wall. Kingston decided it would be a good idea to slip away and go to the small library...

Ben leaned forward, putting his lips _tantalizingly_ close to McDonagh's as he licked his own, letting his free hand trail down the man's chest again, pausing only to circle his nipple through his shirt. He gave his cellmate his best "fuck me" eyes, rocking his hips back and forth as he excitedly imagined what his cock was like when he was hard. So far he'd only caught glimpses, but judging by just how _big_ it felt though the fabric, he knew that he'd get to have fun with him.

With a gentle sigh and a lick of his own, the redhead reached down and unzipped his uniform, pressing a hand to Ben's stomach as he decided whether or not to fuck him. He wanted to, surely, but would it be alright?

Reaching with his other hand into his boxers, he let his cock hang free. Well, 'hang' was not the proper word. His thick member pressed up to Ben's crotch as he rubbed against him, and he felt a sense of pride.

Ben gasped softly when he looked down and saw McDonagh's cock, and he felt a brief wave of jealousy at how Kingston had _this_ to himself for so long.

Looking back over at Hullahaz, he called, "Could I get the lube now please?" He turned back to look at his cellmate, leaning in close to his ear and whispering. "We can do it here, on the bed, on the floor, wherever _you_ want it."

A rush of excitement ran through McDonagh, and he nearly replied that he wanted to fuck on _Hullahaz's_ bed, in front of him, but he knew better. The tattooed man barely looked at them as he tossed the bottle over, which the Irishman caught with surprising ease. Pressing up hard against Ben, he brought him down and whispered.

"On your bed. So you can remember what it feels like whenever you're lying down..."

Ben felt a shiver of excitement run down his spine. "Well, so long as _he's_ okay with the bed rocking." With his head, he gestured back over to Hullahaz. Of course Ben didn't mind having sex in his own bed, but he didn't want anything to get interrupted...

Hullahaz laughed softly, a deep, almost menacing sound, before moving over to Kingston's bed, a finger to his lips. McDonagh grinned before practically scooping Ben up, carrying him over to the bunk bed and all but tossing him up onto it.

Ben climbed up, pushing off his pants on the way to the top, before pulling his shirt up all the way, showing off his whole chest, and then tossing it off the bed too. His cock rested against him, and he slowly stroked himself a bit while he waited for McDonagh to join him, wondering what position he'd want to do first.

McDonagh, although eager to just slip into Ben and make the whole cell shake, wanted to enjoy his time with Ben. He knew this would most likely be the one shot he had, and he wanted to make the most of it. And by god, did he look good... Pulling down his own uniform until he was in nothing but his undershirt, he towered over Ben for a second before leaning down to kiss his collarbone.

Ben, more often than not, felt Hullahaz's muscles as opposed to seeing them, since the tattoos sometimes made them a bit hard to discern, but with McDonagh, every bit of his chiseled body was on display, every mark of a fight won or lost, and of course, his massive cock hanging down, teasing Ben.

His own cock throbbed at the sight, and he released a breathy moan in anticipation

He knew he was being observed. Better yet, he knew Ben _liked_ what he was seeing. Scooting back a bit, he kissed down Ben's chest and stomach, slowly but sweetly, hands on his back.

His shirt began to ride up, displaying more of his toned body. He could probably be used as a pillow... A bit of a hard one, but one nonetheless.

Ben let his jaw hang slack, thoroughly enjoying the attention he was receiving, and unable to resist, put one of his legs up around the other man's body. Once his shirt rode up, he was treated to even _more_ of a sight, and his toes curled up, sexual frustration grasping him as he was teased.

Of course, today wasn't _his_ birthday. McDonagh was allowed to do whatever _he_ pleased.

McDonagh let his kisses stop right above Ben's cock, which he seemed to observe for a moment before letting his tongue press to the head, licking it clean of whatever fluid had appeared due to his arousal. He locked eyes with Ben as he licked in circles, slowly pressing his lips down to his cock.

He didn't blink, but he seemed to be smiling. Licking the entire underside of Ben's shaft, he even ventured to give his balls a kiss.

Ben ooh'd and gripped the bed tightly, tucking up his legs a bit as he watched the man teasing his cock. A little more precum leaked out of him and he bit his lip, looking forward to whatever McDonagh had planned. His heart was beating out of his chest, and he thought he might burst, but still, he'd restrain himself.

Kissing around a bit, giving extra attention to Ben's thighs, McDonagh reached down to begin stroking himself, so he'd be nice and ready when the time came. Sliding back up a bit, he took the head of Ben's cock into his mouth, sucking it insistently. He never got to suck Kingston off. They had a strictly-anal agreement...

Ben gasped, sliding his arm back so he could better support himself, as he reached for McDonagh's head. He placed his hand on top gently, unable to resist running his fingers through the man's short red hair, as he rolled his hips back a bit, mouth hanging open and eyes half closed.

He slid Ben down his throat a few times, wanting to taste him fully before pulling back a bit and closing his eyes, tongue still pressed to the tip. He squeezed Ben's balls gently before giving him one last suck, and then he was moving away to sit up...

Lube in hand, he began to squeeze it onto his erection, taking a few fingers to spread some of the liquid onto Ben's ass. He slightly pressed his fingertips to him...

Ben was losing himself a bit to the oral, but it ended all too soon. Looking down at McDonagh, he watched the man lube himself up, and shivered a bit when he felt lube applied to his own ass. He just couldn't _wait_ to feel that horsecock filling him up, and his eyes rolled back as he thought about it.

Positioning himself at Ben's asshole, he leaned forward to hold himself steady, a hand on the back of Ben's neck. "Take a deep breath."

Pushing into him slowly, he bit his bottom lip as he felt Ben stretch around him. He'd take it easy... And he probably wouldn't be able to go in full way (he hadn't quite managed with Kingston), but it made him shudder anyhow.

Ben held his breath as the man pushed into him, a rather load moan erupting from his lips as his ass was filled. It didn't matter if McDonagh had only pushed in a few inches, he knew right there that he wanted _all_ of his cock inside of him eventually. The sensation made him tingle, and he felt his own cock twitch, yet more precum dribbling out and onto his stomach.

At this point Hullahaz couldn't hold back his curiosity, and he leaned up a bit to see if he could catch a glimpse of what was going on.

McDonagh grinned and leaned down to press his forehead to Ben's, relishing the sounds he was making. He inched in a bit more, slowly still, until he felt he was halfway inside. Muscles relaxing, he looked into Ben's eyes to gauge his reaction...

Ben's eyes rolled back as he took in more of McDonagh's cock, rocking his hips around as he was pushed into slowly. Looking up, he noticed that his cellmate was gazing into his eyes, and in response, gave him the most submissive and longing look he could. All he wanted was to be filled up, and biting his lip, tilted his head up to nuzzle the redhead.

He responded with a cuddly gesture of his own, and slowly moved to take Ben's thigh in his hand so he could angle him better. Pushing in just a little more, he pressed their lips together before swinging his hips forward, letting the movement do the rest.

They were in business now.

Ben moaned and closed his eyes, toes curling, as he was thrusted into. Although he still loved Hullahaz most, and favored kissing him, McDonagh wasn't so bad either, and he parted his lips so he could tease the redhead with his tongue.

Placing a hand on his cellmate's head, he held him close, wanting to keep the kiss going

He pushed in now as far as Ben would allow, kissing his upper lip before moving to his lower, hands now reaching to his hips as he slipped out a bit. Thank _god_ for lube... This felt amazing. He'd have to look into getting some himself, although Kingston insisted that would add too much preparation (and thus, legitimacy) to their sex.

Sliding out until only his head remained within Ben, he thrust back in all the way to the hilt, sucking on Ben's tongue. He was a kisser for sure, but he never had the chance to show it.

Ben exhaled hard and moaned a bit louder, getting lost in both the feeling of himself getting plowed, along with the way McDonagh was playing with his tongue. Reaching his head up, he went to bite his cellmate's upper lip, moving his other hand to the redhead's back to grip into him tightly.

McDonagh took this as an indicator to go a little faster, and began pumping himself into Ben at a quicker pace (yet still he didn't want to hurt him, so he tried to keep it pleasurable). The bites made him get goosebumps, and he squeezed Ben gently beneath him.

Kingston walked in holding something wrapped in foil, and was immediately seized and pinned down by Hullahaz, causing him to yelp.

Ben didn't even notice that Kingston had entered the cell, still too distracted by the powerful man thrusting in and out of him. Letting his hand trail down McDonagh's back, he gripped the man's ass tightly, trying to push him in further as his moans got louder.

McDonagh could feel Ben trying to push him in deeper, but as he was balls deep already he had no idea whether or not this would end up _hurting_ Ben instead. He sighed against his lips, increasing the pace as he heard the slapping of their bodies fill the room.

Kingston was too afraid to defy Hullahaz, but he was also too excited by the bites and nips that were being placed on his neck. He whimpered softly, tilting his head to one side. Since the man made no noise, he could pretend it was someone else with his eyes closed.

Ben was going weak underneath of McDonagh, completely subdued by the fervor of his thrusts. He hardly had the strength to keep his hands on his partner, instead letting them drop to the bed as he panted and moaned. Wanting so badly to jerk himself off, but not being able to currently, he whispered out a few words.

" _S-stroke me?_ "

Months before, McDonagh would have said 'no', plain and simple. But now he knew Ben was part of his family. Someone he had to care for and look out for. And for fuck's sake, he was being given sex for his birthday! Every moment he liked Ben more, and liking him more meant he was more than happy to service him.

Placing his hand around Ben's cock, he began to rub him slowly- yet firmly.

Kingston continued to whimper under Hullahaz, who'd moved onto biting him through his shirt.

Ben weakly started rocking his hips back and forth to help McDonagh stroke him with less effort. After all, the man was still thrusting in and out of him. His gasps turned to cries of pleasure, and his breathing hitched as he felt his orgasm building up and then spilling out onto his torso. The cum dribbled down his sides and made a small mess on the mattress, as Ben completely relaxed on the bed, unable to much more than catch his breath.

The sight of Ben's orgasm drove McDonagh to bite his lip and give a few more powerful thrusts before emptying himself inside the smaller man, entire body shaking as he grunted and gasped, filling Ben to the brim. It had been _too long_...

Hullahaz stopped biting at Kingston for a moment to listen to their aftermath, licking his lips in delight.

The Irishman collapsed beside Ben, draping a casual arm around him before giving him a gentle kiss.

Ben moved his leg over McDonagh to hold him close, turning to face him as cum slowly leaked out. The feeling brought a smile to his face, and he whispered to the other man.

" _Hope you were able to fit in just fine_..." He _knew_ he had, but even now, he wanted to tease out the whole thing.

McDonagh chuckled a few times before kissing Ben's neck, letting his hands run down Ben's front for a moment. "Yeah, I think I was."

Kingston sat up shakily, pulling Hullahaz into a nervous cheek kiss (which he gladly accepted), before grabbing his tinfoil package and speaking up. "U-um, McDon...A...?"

Oh shit, he was back! The redhead looked over the edge of the top bunk. "Yeah?"

"I got you- a thing..."

"Shit, you shouldn't have!"

Ben didn't really move much, not wanting to make even _more_ of a mess of his bed than he already had (and continued to do), but he did roll around so he could look down at Hullahaz, who seemed to have enjoyed himself too.

His eyes were half-closed, and yet he did kinda want to fool around with him as well, if only to top himself off.  But it was McDonagh's birthday, so he wouldn't want to do it here.

_Maybe in the bathroom?_

"H-hey Hullahaz, think you could help me to the bathroom? I'll put my uniform back on, don't worry..."

While McDonagh was busy trying to open the present Kingston had somehow managed to make impossible to unwrap (with TINFOIL), Hullahaz nodded and picked Ben up in his arms, ready to make a run for it when his beeper went off.

Maybe he wouldn't have to, though...

Spotting a guard, he looked him dead in the eye and told him he was going to take a shit, and that if he was cuffed, he'd do it on the floor.

The man didn't even question why he was carrying his cellmate.

Ben held close to Hullahaz, heart racing as he thought about having sex in the bathroom. They wouldn't even need to use _lube_. His erection was already starting to return, pushing up against his uniform, and he slid a hand up to his cellmate's jaw to tease him.

Kicking the bathroom door open, Hullahaz set Ben down carefully by the showers. Almost no one was here at this hour, so he was eager to see what Ben had in mind. Without hesitation, though, he bent down a bit to give him a kiss.

"Have fun with Mr Leprechaun?"

Ben smiled up at him, grinning, before leaning back and unzipping his uniform, revealing the erection he'd been hiding the entire time.

"I did. And now I think I'd like to have some fun with _you_."

"Aha..." Admittedly, fooling around with Kingston has gotten him in a bit of a lusty mood, so he relished the opportunity to be able to get messy with his wife. Reaching down to stroke Ben's erection, he pulled his own uniform off.

"How do you want it?"

Ben smirked and let his uniform drop down to his ankles, which he stepped out of. Turning around, he leaned forward on the bench, sticking his ass out for his husband, as a bit more of McDonagh's cum leaked out.

" _Mark me as yours again_."

Hullahaz tilted his head curiously, biting the corner of his lip. Cum as lube? Ben just kept getting better by the second.

Stroking himself, he put a hand on Ben's ass to steady himself before pressing his tip to his wife's messy entrance. The feeling of his piercing against Ben never got old...

"As you wish."

Both hands now on Ben's backside, he pushed himself in fully in one powerful thrust.

Ben's mouth fell open and his eyelids got heavy as he gasped. He felt like such a _toy_ , but in a way that aroused him immensely. What Hullahaz lacked in size (compared to McDonagh; because he wasn't lacking in size for sure), he made up for in texture. Those piercings along his cock sent Ben _wild_ , and he pushed himself back against his husband, making sure he was balls deep.

It seemed as though Ben was lust-high for sure.

Ben's eagerness had Hullahaz's head spinning. He wasn't one to be noisy, but he gasped in pleasure, murmuring an "Oh, _fuck_ " as he felt his balls touch Ben's ass. It only took him a second to give him another powerful thrust...

"You wanna be filled 'til you can't walk, huh... wanna be fucked 'til you're broken..."

Ben had to grip the bench tightly, his cock throbbing _hard_ as he heard his husband talking to him.

" _Yeah_..." His moans grew louder and louder, and anyone who hadn't noticed them enter earlier was _certainly_ aware, and they were being treated to quite the sight now. Tightening himself around his husband's cock, he cast a submissive gaze back at him, tongue lolled out.

"You want me to fuck you blind, dontcha? Don't worry, babe..." Hullahaz's voice was strained from pleasure, but every bit as alluringly dangerous. "I'm gonna fuck you until you see white..."

Being watched was only a plus. Taking a fistful of Ben's hair, he slowly coaxed him into leaning backwards into him, thrusts increasing in speed.

Ben felt his hair being grabbed and he gasped, eyes rolling back. At this point, Hullahaz's words hit him less and less, as he was basically fucked silly, and his head began spinning. Precum had dripped down onto the bench, and Ben could (faintly) tell that another orgasm wasn't far away.

His mouth hanging open as he almost shouted his lover's (true) name, finding enough presence of mind to restrain himself, instead turning to more raucous moans.

In a matter of seconds, a thick jet of cum shot out from him, coating the bench and making a messy puddle.

Hullahaz brought Ben all the way up so he'd be able to dirty talk in his ear, his thrusts becoming more piercing at that angle. Nothing made him quite as happy as seeing Ben reach orgasm, and he had _never_ see him display as much pleasure as he had right now. That expression drove him wild...

Pounding into him hard, he gripped his waist tightly before emptying every last drop of his semen as deeply inside his lover as he could, shuddering and moaning as he told him to hold it all in...

He stayed inside Ben for a while, and when he pulled out, he was slow. He knew it would have been better to do this under a stream of hot water, but he didn't care. He wanted to see cum dribble out of his lover's ass.

Ben felt his legs shaking, and he _absolutely_ felt filled up. Having Hullahaz AND McDonagh's cum inside of him pleased some part of him that he didn't realize existed, and he _almost_ wished he could add Kingston's in there too.

_Another time._

By now, he was leaking quite a bit, and looked back at his lover's cock, kneeled down as steadily as he could, before he turned around and placed his mouth on him. He wasn't thinking at this point, merely doing. And all he wanted to do was clean up his husband.

Of course, he was doing this in the form of deep throating.

Hullahaz reached up to cover his face, moaning quietly. He hadn't even been able to stop Ben from latching on to his cock; he'd been too quick. "Alright, babe, you don't gotta do any more..."

His whispers fell on deaf ears as Ben sucked him off. He was rock hard in seconds- the entire situation was just beyond perverted. Two men's cum on his cock, being cleaned off by the man who he'd just fucked... He'd be climaxing again in no time.

"Ben, I'm gonna..."

He played with his own cock a little bit absentmindedly. Not that he'd cum a _third_ time, but just because it felt good, as he sucked off his husband.

Upon hearing Hullahaz _speak his name though_ , he pushed him as far down his throat as possible, not minding the piercings in the least.

Closing his eyes tightly, his frame shook as he let his last spurts of cum trickle down Ben's throat. He needed to sit down... but he needed to look after his wife, too.

Panting, he smiled down at Ben, still looking like some sort of beautiful succubus. "Kinky li'l thing, ain'tcha...?"

He swore he was in love with him more each day.

Ben didn't immediately pull off, instead keeping his husband deep inside of him, until he swallowed every last drop. When he moved his head back, a little string of spit connected the tip of Hullahaz's cock to Ben's lips, and Ben looked up at him happily and sheepishly.

"Mhm..."

As much as he wanted to stand and rinse off with his lover, he found himself unable to stand up properly, and could only lean against him, eyes fluttering closed.

Hullahaz leaned down to wrap his arms around Ben, kissing the top of his head as he waited a moment to pick him up. Not only was he a deliciously kinky little thing, he was _his_ deliciously kinky little thing, and he was happy to have been able to mark him again.

Slowly carrying him over to the showers, he noticed the other men in the room all sported outrageous boners.

He chuckled as he turned the water on. "You left an impression on the audience. "

Ben nuzzled him and sighed happily, thankful that he was being held. Looking over at the rest of the showers, he cackled a bit.

"You're welcome!!"

The poor boy was delirious, dizzy from the spinning in his head, but in love with how _pleasurable_ his day had been.

Stretching his head up, he began dotting Hullahaz's chin with kisses, a sheepish grin on his face.

He cleaned Ben thoroughly, keeping a remarkable grip on him despite his exhaustion. He could only imagine how tired Ben must be...

Tired enough to become an extrovert, it seemed. With a laugh, he began to tenderly wash his lover's hair. He knew everyone else would be too busy to care.

He returned a kiss or two, but mainly wanted to focus on Ben being squeaky clean in time for lights out.

Ben had wrapped himself in his uniform, too tired to actually put it on, as they got ready to leave the shower. His eyes were closing more and more, though he was still compelled to try and kiss all over his husband.

Hullahaz laughed and carried him back to the cell, murmuring a few "Alright, alright"s as he ventured down the hall.

He wasn't surprised to see a large bundle on McDonagh's bunk, yet he smiled at the book resting on the desk.

_Whiskey Drinkers I Have Known and Loved._

Placing Ben down on his bed, he crawled next to him, instantly resuming their embrace.

"You were outta this world today."

Ben tossed the uniform aside and curled up naked beside Hullahaz, putting a leg over him and cuddling up close. He couldn't resist giving him yet more kisses, but each one had less and less energy as he slipped closer and closer into sleep, until finally, he passed out with his head on his husband's chest.

Hullahaz returned the kisses with tenderness, stroking Ben's face as he held him in his arms, and once he was asleep, he continued to stroke his hair and planted a kiss on the top of his head.

He finally gave into his exhaustion...

The next morning, everyone seemed to be glowing.

Ben didn't really care that he was still naked and lying partially on top of Hullahaz when everyone woke up. He'd pull on his uniform when the time was right, but he didn't really mind exposing himself to his cellmates.

It seemed he was still riding off of the high from last night.

Looking up at Hullahaz, he smiled. "Morning."

Hullahaz kissed his wife's neck softly, arms still draped around him. He couldn't skip out on another meal, though, or he'd start feeling weak. And he couldn't afford to be weak in here- he had to protect Ben.

Running his hand down Ben's spine slowly, he breathed in deeply.

"Slept like a king."

Ben giggled. "Then I'm the luckiest queen in the whole damn world." With a wink, he felt his stomach rumble, and he blushed, moving up close to his husband's ear.

" _Guess cum isn't the most filling meal_."

"Maybe I gotta start _makin'_ more... Then you could afford to skip dinner," he whispered, giving Ben's ass a soft squeeze before starting to sit up. He didn't want to move Ben off, though, and he'd wait for him to do that himself.

"And I dunno if you're lucky, but you sure are a queen," he grinned.

The thought of such a thing was almost enough for him to pop another erection right there, but he restrained himself. Leaning against him, he smirked, waving his hand once.

"Oh pfft, but of course." He couldn't stifle another giggle.

Ben reached down for his underwear, and began tugging it on, before grabbing his uniform and putting it on as well so they could go down for breakfast.

Hullahaz gave him a soft nuzzle before starting to make himself presentable. He could hear slight snoring from the adjacent top bunk, and he nudged Ben to go investigate.

He rubbed his own cheek and thought about how cute Ben was, and how glad he was to have finally been able to find someone to show some form of emotions to.

He knew, after last night, that it couldn't backfire.

Ben nodded and walked over to the bunk, seeing McDonagh and Kingston cuddling. It was sweet to him how they'd managed to bond more healthily since his arrival, since judging by how things were initially when he'd arrived, it seemed they only fucked to get out sexual energy.

But now there was more depth to their relationship. Or so he hoped, anyway.

The redhead was holding the blonde tightly, and it was Kingston who was snoring, arms outstretched, head pressed to McDonagh's chest. He'd deny it when confronted, but he did genuinely enjoy a good cuddle.

"Let 'em sleep in," Hullahaz whispered, fluffing up his hair before heading for the door.

…

A few weeks later, Ben was finishing up his lunch when a guard came over and tapped him on the shoulder. He instantly froze up, terrified, and entirely unsure of what he'd done to get a guard's attention.

"Come with me. You're not in trouble, don't worry." The man looked over at Hullahaz. "I'm not taking him away."

Casting a worried look back at his husband, he continued to follow the guard, an uneasy feeling rising in his stomach.

"Allen wanted to see you. I'm taking you to his cell." Ben stopped walking, staring forward with eyes wide open.

He had no idea what kind of state the man he'd stabbed was in, but he knew it couldn't be good. Physical _or_ emotional.

"Come on, keep up." The guard seemed unfazed by Ben's shock.

Hullahaz cast him an uneasy glance as he was escorted away, but figured there would be no point in worrying until he got back.

Roger sat on his bed, looking sickly and sad and _tired_. He held his arms close to his body and kept his eyes trained to the floor, only lifting them when he saw someone approaching.

His stomach went cold, but he kept his eyes on the entrance to his cell. He had to do this- for his own peace of mind.

Ben didn't want to be there, all of his guilt bubbling up, but held it in the closer he got to Roger's cell. At least he had no cell mates, which was a relief to him.

The guard hit a button which opened up his cell, and allowed Ben to walk in. He stood at the doorway, keeping it open so Ben could leave when he was ready, making sure the other prisoner didn't try to escape.

Leaning back against the wall, Ben held one of his arms, unintentionally staring at the place he'd stabbed Roger in an attempt to avoid looking into his eyes. He wasn't sure if he felt betrayal, contempt, pity, or regret, or perhaps a swirl of all of those.

"So... why'd you want to see me?" His voice was monotone.

Roger honestly wanted Ben near him as much as he wanted to be there, but he knew this had to be done. It wouldn't even mean anything, but it had to be done.

"I wanted to say sorry. Again."

Taking a deep breath, he debated whether to continue speaking or wait to hear Ben tell him to go fuck himself.

He went with the former.

"It was... Horrible. It was inexcusable. I just- I was so _tired_ , I... I thought..." Looking away, he seemed to sink his nails into his skin. "It doesn't matter."

Ben sighed, looking up at Roger, wanting to hold him, but not being sure if that's what _he_ wanted. So he didn't move at all.

"I.... I don't blame you. Had I been in your position, I might have done the same thing." Tears were coming to his eyes, and he wiped them away quickly.

"But it still hurts. I trusted you, I love-" Catching himself, he cleared his throat, "-d you. And if I had known any better, I wouldn't have let myself get so close. Hullahaz was right about junkies. I just hoped he'd been wrong about you."

Ben knew how hurtful he was sounding, but he wanted the other man to know what had been going through his mind the last month or so.

"Not that... you deserved to be stabbed." He held his hand, staring down at where the blood had been from that night. It sent a shiver down his spine.

"I _still_ feel horrible about that. I'm _still_ terrified at how angry I was." His eyes darted back up.

"And how I took it out on _you_."

Roger didn't meet Ben's eyes as he spoke, but he tried to interject a few times. Yes, Ben probably would have done the same thing. Yes, he knew Ben loved him and that's what made it so much worse. No, he didn't think Ben was to blame.

The comment about junkies made his head snap up, however. "No! It _wasn't_ about drugs, they... They were just the final push I needed. I **needed** a high, Ben, after what I was going to do... Otherwise I- I would just be unable to carry on."

Funny, wasn't it? Had he reached breaking point sooner, none of this would have been an issue.

"I didn't want to do it. You won't believe me, but I... I was going to tell them I was through. I was ready to surrender for you, but..."

He reached for his wrist, remembering the pain of having it snapped.

Ben moved closer, reaching out. He had remembered how Roger's wrist had been wrapped up, and he remembered the two times he had been held by the men. The single bruise he had gotten had long since faded, but he would never forget just how tightly they held him, and how their treatment of Roger could only have been _unimaginable_.

"It... it means a lot that you nearly gave up this whole thing. But I know none of that matters now." Standing a bit closer, but not too close, he played with his fingers nervously.

"I get it though. The heroin was just what tipped the scales."

"I wanted to, I really did- I... I didn't care at first, all I wanted was freedom... A moment of peace, and then... I started seeing you as more than that. I started seeing you as a friend, as a..." God, he had so much to get off his chest. He didn't know if he was ready.

Tears springing to his eyes, he clutched at his skin more tightly. "I thought I _hated_ you. The way your cellmates didn't eviscerate you on your first day, the way you had a chance to get the deadliest fucker in the prison on your side... I was so jealous of you. But then I got to know you, and..."

Wiping at his face, he closed his eyes. Admitting it had been a deal from the start was hard, but Ben had been understanding...

"I didn't want to go through with it."

Ben had a gut feeling that perhaps Roger did feel that way about him, considering how his luck had gone, and how he seemed to flaunt it in front of the poor other man. That's when his mind flashed on the drawing he'd seen of him.

"When did you do the drawing of me?"

"What... You... Found that?" He was clenching at his wound now, which had scarred fortunately nicely. There was no point in pretending he hadn't drawn it. Who else would have?

"I... A few weeks... A few weeks after I met you."

Ben nodded slowly. "It's nice. I think it... captured me well."

Pausing he thought about everything he'd been told he stepped a bit closer, lowering his voice.

"I don't think you're a bad guy Roger. Not even after all of this. I just think you were in a shitty situation so you went and made some shitty decisions. When you get out, you should go to rehab. I think you'll have a good life when you're done with it."

"Please don't talk about the drawing. It wasn't finished. I wanted to make it into a painting-" His hands were digging into his torso so much that he practically forced tears out of his eyes.

"Don't _patronize_ me, please. I don't need that from you. I was almost killed trying to keep you safe." He ultimately failed, of course, and he didn't deserve to be forgiven, but he didn't want pity, either. Especially not from Ben.

"I'm... Not saying that matters. All I wanted to do was say I'm sorry."

Ben nearly reached out to pull Roger's hands away from himself, but he knew better than to do something like that to him.

"I-I'm not trying to patronize you! It's my way of saying that I'm not holding anything against you! I forgive you!" He looked down. "If all you wanted was to say sorry, then I'm just telling you that I accept it. That's all."

Turning to face the door, he sighed, shuddering. "I... I hope things work out for you Roger."

He nodded slowly, looking down at his knees before reaching out to take one of Ben's hands. He wanted to have at least one last kind touch before he called it quits.

For a split second, he wished he could forgive himself. He wished he could erase all the pain so he'd be able to someday, perhaps, befriend Ben again.

Giving his hand a squeeze, he slowly let it go as Ben moved away.

"You're gonna be fine," he whispered in a broken voice, echoing what he'd told Ben many times before.

Ben gasped when he felt Roger take his hand, the touch bringing him back to all the feelings he'd had for the man prior to that night. When they had laid together and embraced each other. As happy as the touch made him, it also stung.

Looking back at him, he looked deep into his eyes, at all the pain that was contained within them.

"You will too." He didn't even care if Roger believed it.

His fingers trailed through the other man's hand when he let go, and Ben turned back around to head out of the cell. The guard closed the door behind them and led Ben back out to the cafeteria.

He shook his head and laughed, beginning to feel more tears spill from his cheeks. He had nothing left now, his last regret had been dealt with and he was ready to move on. Climbing up to the top bunk, he grabbed the tied-up sheet he'd prepared the day before and hung it from the ceiling's hook, where a small light bulb once hung.

He hoped it would hold.

Tying the makeshift noose tightly around his neck, he closed his eyes, teetering over the edge of the bunk.

" _I love you_."

He let his body slide off the bed.

Ben remembered how he'd brought up the drawing and failed to mention that he'd taken any of the others, so he opted to make a quick trip back to Roger's cell in the event he did eventually return to class.

But he hadn't prepared to see what he did.

As he rounded the corner, he saw Roger's body hanging from the ceiling, still moving around a bit, and he screamed.

"ROGER!!" Sprinting over to the button, he opened the cell door and ran inside, wrapping his arms around the other man and pushing up with all of his strength, just trying to get the weight off of his neck.

Looking up, eyes wide with tears streaming down, he noticed that the noose was hanging from a rather weak-looking hook, and reaching up with his hand, jerked hard down on the fabric around Roger's neck. The hook broke almost instantly (already under a lot of weight), and the two of them went crashing to the floor, Ben bashing up his elbow in the process and being pinned underneath his ex-lover's body.

Roger sputtered and coughed, his body spasming slightly as he collapsed onto the floor and onto Ben. The sudden intake of oxygen proved too much for his weary body, and he blacked out.

A guard had come over upon hearing Ben scream, and, observing the scene, decided it would be best to take Roger to the infirmary. It seemed the poor guy was destined to be there more than any other inmate...

Calling medical staff over, they transported Roger off of Ben and to the examination room, not paying much mind as to whether or not he followed.

Twenty five minutes later, he lay on the hospital bed, hands twitching slightly as he regained his senses bit by bit.

He had a wicked headache, and his eyes burned when he opened them... Was this what death felt like? The more his vision cleared, the more he was able to identify the familiar furnishings of the infirmary... And a shape looking down at him.

"No..."

Ben sighed as he waited, hoping that Roger would be okay. The last time he had been in poor physical health, Ben had been running for his life, and this time, he wanted to stay beside him.

Once he saw him waking up, he felt relieved, putting a hand on him.

"Thank god you're alright..."

"What... What happened...? I'm not supposed to be here, no- _you're_ not supposed to be here!" Sitting up in a panic, Roger looked frantically around the room.

He didn't want to be alright. That should have been **obvious**. Why was he alive?

Why was Ben here?

Ben's brow furrowed.

"What? Why were you trying to kill yourself??" He was panicked, overwhelmingly concerned, and confused.

"What do you mean why? Why do you _think_?" Ben couldn't seriously believe Roger would have tried to live with himself after all that, could he?

Then it dawned on him.

"Did you do this?"

Ben gritted his teeth. "You don't have to _kill yourself_ though! And yeah! I did! What was I supposed to do, just go 'oh, he's dead now. That's fine.' I'm not an idiot, Roger!!"

"You... you..." Looking around until he saw a box of tissues by the bedside table, he grabbed it and threw it at Ben. "Motherfucker!"

His face was going red from anger, his eyes widening immensely. "You really hate me that much, huh!?"

Ben gasped and moved back, shielding his face from the tissue box.

"I don't hate you!! But you don't deserve to die over everything! I'm sorry!!" He didn't realize how _badly_ Roger would respond to having failed his suicide attempt at _Ben's_ hands.

"You don't get to decide that! You don't get to fucking decide that!!" Reaching for his pillow, he threw that too. "You'd rather I live out the rest of my life in pain and fear and trauma! You took away the one good thing I'd ever have!!"

Tears of rage were springing to his eyes, and he was shaking from the intensity of his emotions.

Ben deflected the pillow and stepped back a bit, noticing the tears in Roger's eyes which in turn caused him to well up.

"I'm not just gonna let you kill yourself!! And THAT I won't apologize for!"

"What, so now on top of everything else you want to use me to play the hero? You almost killed me once before, why the sudden change of heart?" He spat, picking up the magazine resting where the tissues had been, ready to throw it.

"I don't need you rubbing in my face how much _better_ you are than me! You said you forgave me? Then let me go!!"

"I'm not trying to play the fucking hero! You know that! I'm just telling YOU that I won't let you kill yourself. Not to put myself up on the pedestal!" Dodging the magazine, he was shaking, his own anger at saving Roger's life and receiving intense _hatred_ for it.

"I'm not gonna let you go! I can't! I _won't_!!" He knew it was selfish, but he didn't care. Feeling himself seeing red, he growled.

"You don't have any **fucking** say in the matter, Benjamin!" His voice was getting louder by the minute, sweet, gentle Roger eventually reaching his wit's end. "You try being brutally raped every night and selling your best friend off for drugs out of desperation and still wanting to live!"

He'd run out of things to throw, save for a vase he was reaching for subconsciously. "Get out of my sight!"

Ben had backed up against the wall, noticing that Roger only had a vase within his grasp, but he was still frozen in place.

"You still shouldn't fucking kill yourself!!" He couldn't apologize for that; he couldn't say _anything_ else. There was very little he could say at _all_ to try and make Roger calm down, especially not when he himself was seething with rage at having been screamed at.

"Fuck you! You don't understand a fucking thing!"

Roger was done listening to Ben's or anyone else's bullshit. Taking the vase in his hands, he threw it with all his might, watching it shatter. It made him feel horrible.

"LEAVE!!"

At this point, medical staff were rushing towards the sounds of disruption.

Ben cringed as the vase hit his arms when he blocked it, feeling shards of glass cutting him up. The rest of it fell on the floor, some of them slicing up his pants, and Ben held his arms up in front of him, as if he were going to grab his head. His hands were shaking violently.

And then he bolted.

He bolted for the only place he knew he could find any kind of comfort from the pain he was feeling: the cell.

Tearing past the medical staff, tears were blinding him, the pain in his arms fueling his anger, and his whole body ready to burst. Upon reaching the cell, he burst through the door, stopping for a split second before he ran over to the chairs and picked one up, throwing it over his head onto the floor with all the energy he could.

He even managed to dent it up.

Roger was left behind, getting smaller and smaller, tears running down his face as he suffered an absolute mental breakdown. He felt in that moment that he'd never recover. This misery and torment would all he'd ever know- now that he was being put on suicide watch.

Hullahaz sat up immediately when he saw Ben barge in. He'd been gone for so long he'd gotten worried he might have been transferred! Seeing him return made the tattooed man smile...

For all of two seconds before Ben was throwing the chair into the floor with all his might.

Something was wrong.

Getting up, Hullahaz walked over to Ben with a concerned expression. "You're hurt. Who did this to you?"

Ben whipped around, still seeing red and not Hullahaz clearly through the fog.

 _You're hurt_...

Ben only screamed. Still in a fit of rage, he balled up his fists and pounded the sides on Hullahaz's chest to strike him, tears streaming down his cheeks, and the cuts on his arms stinging as they rubbed against his cellmate's uniform. He cried out in pain.

He flinched, eyes widening in shock before narrowing from the pain he felt at being struck. Ben may be thin, but his anger was his strength. Whatever had happened had sent him over the edge.

Had it been the junkie?

Hullahaz wanted to clean and tend to Ben's wounds, but he knew first he had to calm him down. Slowly, he put his arms around the smaller man, holding him closer even as he was hit.

Ben struggled to escape, anger still filling his body. He didn't know why he was being held, but it only made him more frustrated.

"LET ME GO!!" Still writhing in his grasp, he gritted his teeth, feeling the cuts stinging even more as he sobbed through his screams.

"It's not FAIR!!" Attempting to dig his nails into Hullahaz's chest, he could start to feel the anger leaking out of him, but for the moment, he still hissed and squirmed.

He allowed Ben to take his anger out on him, and he barely flinched once he felt nails against his chest. He wasn't quite sure how to help, but he could tell Ben was feeling worse in his arms.

As much as he wanted to keep holding on, he let go.

Arms now at his sides, he stayed perfectly still as Ben continued to lash out.

"Yeah. It's not."

Ben dragged his nails down Hullahaz's front and leaned his forehead against him, sobbing.

"I'm sorry!!" _That I couldn't help you_.

"I'm sorry!!" _That you felt you had no other choice_.

"I'm sorry!!" _That you were driven to suicide_.

Gripping his husband's uniform tightly, he shook, the anger dissipating and the sadness returning.

 _Now_ he knew he could hold Ben again. Putting his arms around his wife as gently yet securely as before, he tilted his head downwards to bury his face in Ben's hair.

"You got nothin' to be sorry for. You've just been doin' your best."

Closing his eyes, he began to rock back and forth like he'd done on that fateful night.

"You've made shit so much better for everyone in this fuckin' cell, Ben. You made us remember we're human."

Ben's rage had cleared, and he heard _everything_ Hullahaz was saying clearly.

" _I still couldn't help him... even when I stopped him from killing himself... I didn't help him_..." A low wail rose up from his throat.

" _He hates me... and I can't do anything right for him_...."

Slowly wrapping his arms around Hullahaz, he whined, turning his head to the side to breathe more easily, eyes shut tightly.

Hullahaz felt his heart pang with something he couldn't identify. It felt awful, whatever it was.

He wanted to shout "who cares!?" upon finding out Ben _was_ speaking about the junkie, but he also felt a sense of dread upon hearing Ben had prevented him from suicide.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that. On one hand, Ben had absolutely done the right thing, but on the other, Hullahaz understood the man's desire to die.

Especially after all he'd been through.

Keeping his arms around Ben, he said the only thing he could think to say at the time, which was pretty useless.

"Well, _I_ don't hate you."

Ben sniffled. "W-well of course _you_ don't... But it doesn't matter now. Nothing about him does... He hates me. That's... Where it all ends."

Pulling away, he looked at the cuts on his arms. For a moment, there was a flash of humor in his eyes.

_Seems you've hurt me back._

"He doesn't deserve you or your pity. After what he did, he doesn't deserve a damn thing." Despite all the rage he felt for Roger, he wasn’t sure if he meant it entirely...

Hullahaz took Ben's arms carefully before guiding him over to the sink, and in an act of utter care (and even love), he began to wash the wounds.

"You did what you thought was right. He's gotta work it out for himself."

There weren't any shards of glass in his arms (aside from perhaps minuscule ones), just cuts and scratches that stung. Ben cringed as he tried to wipe away his tears with his shoulders, thankful that Hullahaz was helping him feel better.

"Y-yeah..." It was easier to think when he wasn't blind with rage. "I suppose you're right..."

Hullahaz _was_ right. There was nothing else that Ben could do for Roger now, and with him on suicide watch, he would be kept alive, even if he wanted to die.

Ben wasn't sure if he had been acting selfishly when he saved him, if perhaps keeping him alive was cruel, or if things really could look up for him. But the thoughts were too much for him, so he leaned back into Hullahaz and cried softly, his sobs turning into more of a low moan.

Still softly washing his arms, Hullahaz leaned forward slightly to enable Ben to better lean against him. All he wanted to do now was comfort him... He wanted him to stop crying, to feel just a tiny bit better. But he wasn't sure how.

"I know it hurts. Believe me I do. But you... You were amazing. Tryin' to save him? Even after all that?"

He leaned down and kissed Ben on the top of his head, gently wrapping his arms around him again before bringing him over to the bed.

"He'll realize that some day."

Ben cuddled up close to Hullahaz, his tears beginning to dry.

" _I hope so_..."

Lying down beside him, he stuck like to his side like glue, closing his eyes and holding his hands into his chest defensively.

It felt nice to be held and comforted.

Hullahaz stroked his hair and kept quiet, simply watching over him and occasionally kissing his forehead. He knew that was all he _could_ do for now.

When the other men reentered the cell, he cast them a look that told them to keep quiet.

They obliged, silently resuming their in-cell activities (also known as reading and writing).

Ben didn't move much, the cuts still hurting a bit, but he gradually calmed down until he drifted off to sleep peacefully in his husband's arms.

When night came around, he didn't move. He simply wrapped Ben in his blanket and looked over at Kingston, happily reading his book in a dim light.

...

The weeks flew by. Ben hadn't heard any news on Roger, which for once relieved him. Things within the cell remained happy, and it was almost hard for Ben to believe his sentence was nearing a quarter over.

...

Then there was a _new_ inmate in the prison.

He was remarkably short - that was the second thing people noticed. Short and curvy, with smooth mocha skin.

The _first_ thing people noticed was his colorful hair. Red and blue, with hints of orange. He clearly cared about his appearance...

He walked into the prison with half-lidded eyes, which upon inspection were demonic in coloration. When he looked up at his fellow inmates, he smiled, displaying a row of sharp teeth. They backed away momentarily as he went off to find his cell.

Ben had heard of the new prisoner, but not much more than "prissy and scary." Naturally, his curiosity was piqued. He had been sitting on Hullahaz's bed killing time, wondering when he'd first get to see the newcomer, as well as finding out what he was in for.

Hullahaz seemed less than thrilled that there was a newcomer- he always had the most exhausting days whenever it happened. McDonagh seemed ready to fight him without even meeting him, and Kingston said he gave him the creeps.

When lunchtime rolled around, the inmate did his best to sit alone.

Ben stuck close to his husband but moved his head around to get a better look at him.

"He's got some nice hair. Looks... soft." Glancing back up at Hullahaz, he shrugged. "I'm just saying, he DOES seem kinda prissy. I wonder how he'll keep that look in here."

Hullahaz turned his head around to try and spot him, humming. "If he's in for a minor crime, he'll be able to get products from the shop."

But he knew no one in for minor crimes was ever that confident. In fact, not even he'd been confident on his first day- he'd been terrified! What was with this dude?

The newcomer was pulling faces at the food, ignoring the small crowd beginning to form around him.

A rather gruff-looking inmate plopped down beside the man, leg on either side of the bench, resting an arm on the table.

"So, sweet cheeks, you new in here?" There was snickering from around him, and a smug smile on his face.

"You _know_ I am, papi," he replied with a tone that was menacing, despite his words being flirtatious. His voice was husky and slow, with a bit of an accent. He kept his eyes on his food, disgusting as it was.

Kingston frowned from his table and nudged McDonagh. "How long do you think until the Latinos start swarming around him?"

"Ugh, don't ask me. I don't know why _anyone_ would swarm around him, he's... Something's **off** about him."

Ben listened to his cellmates but kept his attention on the other table.

The inmate chuckled, leaning in a bit closer. "Your block has the showers today, same as mine. Maybe I'll get to," he moved a hand to the other inmate's ass, " _See you later?_ "

Ben attempted to stifle back a gasp. Had it been someone more diminutive, he wouldn't have reacted that way, but McDonagh was right, there WAS something off about him, and grabbing his ass could have been a very _bad_ thing to do.

McDonagh narrowed his eyes (as did Kingston) as he waited to see what would happen. Curiosity was burning within him, and he could tell Hullahaz was looking over and thinking the exact same thing.

Feeling a hand on his ass, the inmate's eyes opened wide. He turned to face the man beside him, giving him a soft smile before reaching up and slamming his head against the table with inhuman force (most likely feasible due to him having the element of surprise).

"Don't get it mixed up, _pendejo_. I'm not here to be anyone's bitch."

The inmate recoiled after having his face slammed and held his nose, which was now broken and bleeding.

" _Fuck_!!" Standing up in a fast hurry, he waved at the others to approach him, wanting the inmate ganged up on. "Deal with him!"

Ben had jumped when he saw the man assault the other inmate, reaching a hand for Hullahaz's shirt and holding it tightly.

"Jesus...."

Hullahaz couldn't conceal his smile. McDonagh was already moving up, not to gang up on the guy, but to fight whoever approached him (a fight's a fight!). Those who were gathering around the inmate didn't seem to faze him in the slightest.

Hullahaz's hand stroked Ben's arm.

Although his fork was plastic, the new guy seemed more than ready to stab it into someone. He licked his lips and waited for someone to make his first move.

A few Hispanic inmates had come closer to observe him...

The other inmates who had been with the first daring one mobbed him, all piling onto him at once with punches and kicks, grabbing for his hair.

Ben stood up suddenly. Seeing the dogpile sent a panic through his spine as he flashed back to months ago in the warehouse, and he quickly started moving away. Calling back to Hullahaz, he said, "I'll be in the cell."

He just needed to be out of there, more than anything. All that aggression got to him very quickly.

Hullahaz let him go with a slight nod, and he craned his neck further to see what was happening. McDonagh wasn't in- oops, no, there he was, knocking inmates around left and right.

Still, plenty remained on the newcomer, who shrieked and growled as he was pummeled. Still, he didn't seem to be retreating... In fact, now that he was being attacked, he seemed to be on fire. Teeth snapping and claws pulling at whatever skin he could find, he soon tasted blood on his lips.

He was a little ball of energy and he was prepared to kill **anyone** in here. His teeth sank into whichever body part was nearest- each hit he received filled him with strength.

The gang of inmates noticed that they weren't being beaten back by the inmate, but rather bitten, and realizing that many of them had fresh bleeding wounds, began to back off.

_The fuck is wrong with this guy??_

The mob moved back from the fight slowly dissipating (aside from any who were still going at it with McDonagh), and one of the men who sported some scratches on his arm snarled at him.

"Who ARE you??"

The inmate, licking his lips as he felt his eye swell up, stood up slowly, grabbing onto the table for support. He smiled wide, but there was an obvious anger in his eyes.

"I'm the Aztec Fury, and you can _suck my dick_."

McDonagh hooted after elbowing a guy in the gut, and he wasn't sure why. This guy _definitely_ had a lot wrong with him, but he'd given him the chance to fight.

The Hispanic inmates asked themselves things such as 'did he say Aztec???', and one of them approached him rapidly speaking in Spanish, to which he replied by adopting his coy expression.

Some of them continued to move in closer, not maliciously, as they were intrigued.

...

Ben had made it up to the cell and sat down on Hullahaz's bed, holding his arms and taking deep breaths. Part of him wanted to draw, so he got up and grabbed the drawing supplies he'd stolen from the art class, along with a fresh piece of paper.

He naturally found himself doodling Hullahaz, mainly just his eyes, until a better idea would come along.

It was then that the inmate explained why he was in, which in turn gathered a larger crowd. Despite his injuries, he was glowing.

…

When the men returned to the cell, Kingston looked ready to explode.

"Dude! Ben! You are not going to believe this guy."

McDonagh was sporting fresh bruises, but he looked happy as a clam. Hullahaz sat beside Ben, his features softening as he saw him draw.

Ben was fine until he heard Kingston bring up the new inmate he'd managed to temporarily forget about. His grip on the paper tightened.

"Oh I think I do."

Trying to distract himself with more art, he more feverishly sketched out Hullahaz hugging him, trying to focus on things that weren't violence.

The tattooed man's arm snaked around him, giving him a slight squeeze. He wanted to make him feel safe, but he also wanted to show he was paying attention to the signs he was being given.

"No, you really gotta hear this."

"He kills pedophiles," McDonagh quickly clarified, shedding his undershirt. "Lures them in and just... Splat."

The sudden mention of _pedophiles_ caused him to accidentally tear the paper, his hand freezing up on the spot.

People who were... more despicable, were kept in a different cell block, and Ben never saw them (thankfully). The prison was unaware of Ben's history of sexual abuse, so it was simply that he had been lucky to avoid them.

His thoughts were locked onto his father, and he tried to scatter them, to think of anything else, but after months of nothing that reminded him of that awful man, he was unexpectedly seized by memories.

Hullahaz held him a little tighter, looking up at McDonagh in an attempt to get him to stop talking.

He did.

The Irishman put his hand on Ben's shoulder, leaning down to ask if he was okay. Kingston was too busy writing something down to notice... He was muttering something about cannibalism.

Feeling Hullahaz tighten his arms around him, and then McDonagh holding his shoulder, he felt the painful memories fade away into mist, and he looked down at the drawing he was working on. Despite the small rip in the paper across his husband's face, he tried to continue scribbling, a few tears splattering onto the page, which he wiped from his face before continuing to draw.

The redhead kept his hand there, giving Ben a comforting squeeze, as Hullahaz leaned down to give him a kiss on the cheek. His family would look after him for as long as he was here- his _real_ family.

Kingston began getting bouncy again before he noticed something was up with Ben. "Woah, wait, what's going on?"

Another flash in his mind, but it was gone just as quickly as it came.

"N-nothing. Don't worry about it." Ben greatly appreciated the love he was getting from everyone (well, most everyone), and closing his eyes, smiled a bit, leaning more against Hullahaz.

Kingston tilted his head sadly and nodded, patting Ben's hand. "Okay. If there's any issue, let me know."

Hullahaz held him a little tighter, resting his chin atop his head. How come Ben always smelled so sweet?

"Oh, hey, didn't you have a meeting with your case worker this week?" McDonagh asked the blonde.

Kingston's eyes lit up at once. "That's _right_!"

Ben looked over at Kingston, hearing him get excited. He was finally calming down.

"Oh yeah? Man, you seem really jazzed to see her again." At this point, he was lightly teasing his cellmate.

"Okay, but really, why wouldn't I be? She's-"

"Gorgeous, funny and clever, yeah, yeah. Does she ever actually do anything other than give you advice?" McDonagh rolled his eyes.

"Well- I mean- I mean, she's... That's her job!"

Ben giggled.

"Man, you've got quite a thing for her. You think she'd be into _you_ though?" Just from what he'd heard, she seemed like a really nice woman, and although Ben liked seeing how Kingston and McDonagh got along affectionately, he knew that the man was straight, so if he found someone he could be genuinely interested in, then Ben was happy for him.

Although he still wondered how it made McDonagh feel.

Hullahaz was curious to hear what Kingston had to say for himself, so he lay down and put his arms behind his head. McDonagh, however, did not. He tried to bury himself in the high of the fight.

"Well, I mean... No, probably not. Maybe under other circumstances, though! Which is why I'm gonna try and get to know her once I get out of here. Oh, that's right! I gotta head to the greenhouse to get her some flowers..."

"They're gonna wilt if you don't pick 'em on the day," the tattooed man chuckled.

Ben smiled, but he _did_ notice that McDonagh seemed a bit reclusive, and he looked at him, worried.

They were a family, and as a family, there were times that other family members needed support from him. Or support in general. Ben made eye contact with McDonagh, trying to give him as much of a supportive look as possible.

The Irishman looked back at Ben, shaking his head with a soft smile as if to say 'don't worry about me'. Usually he would have gotten angry at the assumption that he had feelings for Kingston.

Hullahaz, noticing the mood of the cell dip, suddenly sat up.

"C'mon, let's play Pictionary or some shit."

Nobody but Ben knew how to draw worth a fuck in the cell, which made it all the more fun to play.

Ben smiled, happy that McDonagh at least had received the support well. Looking back at Hullahaz, he grinned.

"Yeah!" Hopping up, he put his drawing on his bed (which he now used for storage more than anything) and strolled over to grab the board game from a small cabinet.

Gathering round the board, the four of them shared their flask of 'water' before getting the party started.

The game resulted in a lot more laughter than actual competitive spirit or desire to win, due to McDonagh's hilarious animal illustrations and Kingston's ridiculous attention to detail, which resulted in him completing a third of the drawing before the time was up.

Hullahaz drew exclusively in stick figures.

By the time they were almost at the finish line, the doors opened for dinner.

Ben had been thoroughly enjoying himself, not putting too much effort into each drawing, but still having a good time.

Of course, when the doors opened up, he remembered earlier, and a shiver went down his spine.

"I-I'll meet you guys back up here, don't worry."

Hullahaz shook his head and took Ben's hand, squeezing it.

"You need to eat." He'd become more insistent about his wife not skipping too many meals as of late. He'd already hit the limit for today.

"He's right," Kingston nodded, standing up. "We can finish this later..."

McDonagh put his hand on Ben's shoulder again, silently telling him nothing was going to happen.

Ben bit his lip nervously, but decided to trust his cellmates. So long as there wasn't another brawl, he'd be fine. Part of him didn't believe that dinner would go without one though.

Sticking close to Hullahaz and McDonagh, he took careful breaths, trying not to feel too anxious.

The man was there, of course, now sporting a black eye and... A few new friends! He seemed to have attracted the attention of the two Latino men who had seen him fight, as well as a few people who were admiring him from afar.

Hullahaz wondered if he should be interpreting this as a threat to his hierarchy, but then snorted at the absurdity of the idea. Prison had fucked up his thinking.

"Oh. He's... Already made friends," Kingston observed, squinting.

Ben didn't look at him, instead keeping his eyes focused on the food line. All he wanted was to eat and get back to the cell, paying as little mind to the new inmate as possible.

It was hard when all anyone around him talked about was him.

"His hair! Wonder how long that'll last."

"What's up with those eyes? Or the teeth?"

"Did you hear he's in for cannibalizing a guy?"

"I heard he used to pose on chat sites..."

Hullahaz had to admit it was all a little overwhelming, but he was intrigued at how differently this Aztec Fury guy was dealing with the attention... He almost looked like he was _flirting_ with the people interrogating him.

"The moment they realize I'm not a little kid... That's when I strike."

Ben didn't want to hear _any_ of it. As admirable as it was that the man to kill pedophiles, the topic at _all_ greatly upset him, and he picked away weakly at his food, struggling hard to find his appetite.

His other arm rested on the table, hand gripping his hair, and he began lightly stabbing his meal with the fork.

Hullahaz knew Ben was uncomfortable as all hell, but something was troubling him. He had to ask. He _had_ to.

"Stay here... I'll be right back."

He put a hand on Ben and began to get up.

Ben reached out his hand in a panic, but Hullahaz had gone. Feeling exposed, he scooted closer to Kingston and hoped that his husband would return soon.

Kingston and McDonagh watched in awe as Hullahaz walked over to the new inmate's table, causing the smaller man to jump up and become defensive (he'd been told the tattooed man was the alpha). He asked the guy a few questions, and the Mexican man seemed to go into detail about something...

Once he was done, Hullahaz pulled him into an embrace.

Half the prison nearly fainted.

Ben watched the exchange nervously, but upon witnessing the _hug_ , he felt his gut just _drop_.

He panicked.

_Do they know each other? Were they involved? Would Hullahaz turn affections to him? Am I going to be abandoned?_

Tears welled up and he held his head, trying to wipe them away. The cell was too far away, so he darted for the bathroom, ducking into a stall to cry as he rocked himself back and forth.

He felt he had fair reason to be upset, since Hullahaz was NOT a man to be affectionate with anyone in the prison, and if he was being that way to a _stranger_ (a stranger to Ben), then who's to say that they don't know each other?

There was simply too much swirling around in his head for him to think straight about the situation.

Kingston freaked out and stood up to go after him, but McDonagh pulled him back down.

"Let him have his space!"

When Hullahaz returned to the table, he frowned upon not seeing Ben. Sitting down slowly, he tilted his head.

"Where'd he go?"

Seeing how Kingston was about to spill the beans, McDonagh replied. "Bathroom. Can't be breathing down his neck all the time, you know."

Hullahaz narrowed his eyes and decided he'd not press on the issue, instead finishing his food.

Ben, still feeling upset and bitter over what happened, slipped off to the cell once he left the bathroom, not alerting his cellmates to the fact he was passing by, though he did catch a glimpse of the new guy again, making him grit his teeth.

_No, don't._

Taking some deep breaths, he tried to clear his mind. He _hated_ when he was angry, and he knew that jumping to conclusions wouldn't help him figure out what happened.

But he still needed some more time to himself. Returning to the cell, he climbed on Hullahaz's bed and faced the wall, breathing slowly and trying to think about how much his husband cared about him.

Once dinner was over, Kingston was the first to enter the cell, calling over to Ben in what he hoped would be an enthusiastic tone of voice. "Hey, man, wanna continue the game? You were gonna beat the pants off us again..."

Hullahaz noticed instantly that something was wrong, but he didn't want to talk about it until lights out.

"I think we might just have to continue tomorrow," McDonagh interrupted. "Come up and read me some of your novel instead."

"Uh..."

Ben knew that Hullahaz was waiting, so he kept himself away until lights out, and then he turned around, speaking firmly. He wasn't trying to sound accusatory, but he was concerned.

"What did you two talk about?"

His eyes softened, and his hand slowly moved to touch Ben's arm. "Is that what you're upset about?"

He would tell Ben whatever he needed to know, but he wouldn't budge until he knew for sure what the issue was. Climbing further into bed, he lay beside him.

Ben pouted a bit, looking down.

"I just kinda... lost it at dinner. Sorry. I don't know why you hugged him, but I suddenly worried. Worried... that maybe you knew him. Liked him more than, well, me."

His voice trailed off to a mumble, feeling silly that he was complaining about such a thing.

His fingers 'walked' up Ben's arm, resting beside his cheek, which he stroked with the back of his hand.

"I just met him."

Waiting to see if Ben wanted to be touched more, he kept talking- as delicately as possible, as to not upset him further.

"He... Dealt with the man who almost took my niece."

Ben closed his eyes at Hullahaz's touch and sighed. He instantly knew he'd overreacted, and he felt guilt rising up in his chest.

"S-sorry, I know you love me, I guess I was just panicking... I'm happy you at least... got some closure on that though." His words were all over the place and he felt even _worse_.

Hullahaz pulled Ben close as he heard the faint chatter from the top bunk die out. Tilting his chin up, he pressed their lips together as he closed his eyes.

Kisses on the lips were a bit of a rarity with the man outside of sexual encounters, so it was extra obvious that he cared.

"You're alright."

Ben hadn't anticipated a kiss like this, and letting his mouth open a bit, exhaled deeply, before returning the kiss.

The stress of the day had taken quite a toll on him, and with his eyes already closed, he found himself drifting off peacefully, feeling better about how things had landed with the new guy and Hullahaz.

Holding him through the night, Hullahaz was able to sleep a bit easier knowing Ben knew how he felt about him.


	9. Astrid

The next morning was odd. It was cold and gray out, and the prison was strangely quiet. Kingston found it eerie as hell, but he figured perhaps the showers would be unoccupied at this time.

Lazily looking down at where he assumed Ben would be, he spoke groggily. "Hey, Ben... Wanna come shower? I need to look good for Astri- Uh... My case worker..."

Ben yawned and nodded.

"Sure." Giving his cellmate a wink, he climbed off the bed, first leaning over to give Hullahaz a kiss, before grabbing his towel and belongings.

They went down into the shower and Ben saw nothing particularly worrying, so he stripped down and turned on the water, rinsing himself off.

Hullahaz rolled over and hugged the pillow, feeling oddly lonely in Ben's absence. Still, he slept it off...

In the showers, Kingston did his best to scrub himself utterly clean. While he had shampoo in his rat's nest of hair, he turned to face Ben.

"Do you think she'll notice if I shave? Should I shave? I- I love the goatee, but what if she doesn't like it? Ah, I've never had to deal with something like this before..."

Ben smiled up at him. "I'd shave the rest of your face, but I think your goatee looks cute. She's probably used to it and likes it, but if you shave it, she'll definitely notice. For better or worse."

Not really a clear answer, he realized.

"Oh." He scratched his head, nearly getting shampoo in his eye. "So I should... Keep it, then. You seem to know about what people like- Or- I mean, you know what I mean. Right? Damn, I'm nervous! Li'l catnip hasn't been doing so well..."

 _Catnip_ is how he addressed his pot plant.

"I'd keep it. Don't stress yourself out too much, Kingston. It'll be fine." He did feel bad about his plant not doing well though.

"Do you know why catnip's been under the weather?" He was playing along as best he could, quietly.

"Thanks, man. I mean it. It really helps to talk to you about it," he smiled, flashing his gold canines.

"I think it's not been getting enough sun..." He rinsed his hair out and shook his head hard. "The weather's been shit and the lights in the greenhouse aren't strong enough... It's gonna wilt at this rate, and then I'll be bouncing off the walls."

Ben reached a hand out and rubbed Kingston's arm.

"I'm sorry... I wish I could help with that, but... I'm not the sun. Glad I was at least able to help with the facial hair thing though."

Kingston laughed a little bit and nodded, leaning down to give Ben a kiss on the forehead.

"That aside, I'm feeling GOOD! I'm gonna head over to actually pick a plant that hasn't died from lack of sun exposure, and I'm gonna give it to her during our meeting..."

"Well, if they're still there, you should bring her the purple ones. I think she'd like them. But take whatever feels right to you."

Ben's eyes glazed over as he spoke, trying to block out memories with a dumb smile as he finished his shower and headed back up to the cell.

"That's a great idea! The other time I saw her, she was wearing a lilac shirt... Not the same color, of course, but maybe she'll think I care! Oh, Ben, you have no idea. This girl is wonderful."

It totally slipped his mind that Astrid was merely doing her job in trying to help him. He was head over heels.

Once he'd gone back up, he laid down in bed beside Hullahaz again, trying to forget the memories. He didn't want _this_ day to be ruined either.

His eyes opened, arm snaking around Ben to pull him close. "Mm... Fresh and clean."

It did feel like a bit of a strange day, but he hoped it would be alright- especially with Kingston's meeting.

Ben appreciated Hullahaz's comment, and he clung to it for all he was worth as he drifted back to sleep.

Kingston, flowers in hand, made his way over to the counsel offices, smoothing his hair as much as he could before knocking on the door labeled with his case worker's name.

He could hardly conceal his smile.

Astrid had been looking through her laptop, waiting for Kingston's arrival when she heard the knock on her door. Pushing her glasses up on her face a bit, she called out, "Come in!"

Her office was tidy, almost no dust on any surface, one of those small sun-powered flower decorations on her desk, and a big painting of a stargazer on the back wall.

She, of course, was also looking tidy, with her hair done up in a neat bun, lipstick applied precisely, and a navy blue pencil skirt (topped off with a white blouse).

Watching the door, she looked over her dark purple rims, waiting to see the familiar blond dreadlocked man she'd come to enjoy seeing in her office.

Kingston just about bound into the room, doing his best to look casual about it but probably failing.

The state of Astrid's office always made him happy- back when he'd had an 'office' he'd always kept it tidy.

Of course, what he preferred ten times over was Astrid. Seeing her wear her glasses always made him feel a little guilty that he never wore his own, but he was glad to see they matched the color of the flowers in his hand...

"Hey! Good to see you. Brought you this." Holding out the flowers, he realized he could have gone the extra mile and brought her a whole pot. "I uh... they're kinda dying now I guess but you can flatten them between book pages. People like that, right?"

Being in her presence always made him feel so stupid.

Astrid smiled up at him, giggling at the comment about pressed flowers. Truth be told, she quite enjoyed them, and taking the flowers from him, put them in the small vase she already had on her desk, making a mental note to press one of them later.

Taking a good look up and down the man as he sat down, she could tell he'd made himself look nice for this appointment, which made her smile yet even more.

"It's nice to see you again, Stuart."

When Kingston heard his name, he smiled wide, a blush forming on his cheeks. He never heard it unless he was with her. Shuffling in his seat, he watched her put the flowers in a vase.

"You too! Really nice. Yeah, I've been doing better! I mean, you know, still here, but. But... But how are you?"

He really hated how much he rambled when he was nervous. Why couldn't he just find the words?

Seeing the man fumbling with his words made her giggle to herself, and she leaned forward a bit to listen closely.

"I'm doing fine! Helping prisoners, doing paperwork, you know, the usual around here."

"Yeah... yeah! You know, if only it did them any good. They _need_ help, and not in the nice way, you know?" He laughed to himself a bit before gripping the sides of his seat.

"I uh. I've been thinking of joining the kitchen... maybe? I don't know if they'd let me, 'cause of what I'm in for, but... I mean..."

Astrid sat back a little bit, listening to him talk, and nodding along.

"I'd say it's worth a shot. It might even help you improve your cooking for when you're out."

Moving her head in closer, she lowered her voice. "If only you could make the warden a nice meal, then maybe he could put in a good word for you to shorten your sentence."

A silly grin appeared on her face, amused at her own joke.

Kingston believed her words for a moment, but pouted when he realized she was joking. That was mean!

"I'll get a shortened sentence, just you watch... and then you'll be sorry..."

Shuffling his feet, he made a mental note to work up the courage to ask for work in the kitchen.

"Hey, that aside... did my psych evaluation come back?"

Astrid nodded and turned back to face her computer, clicking on a window she'd had minimized.

"Yep. It seems you've got Attention Deficit Disorder, not the hyperactive variant."

"What!? I _knew_ it! I knew- and mom-" Narrowing his eyes, he repeated the word more slowly, contempt in his voice. "Mom."

Rubbing at his arm, he looked back up at Astrid. "Does weed help that?"

Astrid reached a hand forward a bit, wanting to comfort him. She knew very little about his home life, so she was interested in hearing snippets.

The question about weed, however, shocked her out of her thoughts.

"Uhh....it might? Why," she narrowed her eyes at him, "Are you getting some?"

Weed wasn't something she'd bust him for, not in a million years, but she _was_ worried, and didn't want him to get caught with it.

Kingston's reluctance to talk about his childhood was due to how _lame_ it had been. He hadn't been beaten by a stepfather like McDonagh, but he'd been severely emotionally neglected by his mother. His father was never too far away, but he was always busy with his _other_ family.

"I- well-" Astrid could keep a secret, right? "I've been growing some myself! Weed has always helped me focus... Helped me keep the antsiness down."

 _Antsiness_ was the best way for him to describe it.

"Don't worry, everyone who knows about it is either smoking it too or someone I can trust..."

A quiet sigh came from Astrid as she heard him admit to growing weed. Well, she couldn't exactly stop him, and if it helped him, then she figured it wasn't all bad.

"Right, well, do be careful, okay? I'd hate for you to get caught and be forced to do extra time..."

On a personal level, she really didn't want him to be in there longer than he had to.

"I know, I know, I just... In the absence of anything else, I need to use that. Otherwise I go crazy, and... Well, I think I'd take it out on my cellmates."

He was somewhat eager to talk about them, but he wasn't sure if Astrid wanted to know.

"I mean, if I could get meds, then I wouldn't need the weed, right?"

Astrid pushed her glasses back up.

"You'd have to go through a process to figure out your proper dosage, so lots of trips to the medical office, as well as the fact that it's expensive. So you could apply for medication, but it'd be up to you."

Remembering how he'd mentioned his cellmates, she added, "Tell me about your cell more, how have things been with them?"

"Man... I'm poor, I can't do that. Hell, the whole reason I even sold meth was to stop being poor! I'm never gonna get meds..."

Crossing his arms, he used them as a pillow and leaned against her desk, sighing. At least now he knew what the issue was. But his eyes sparked up at the mention of his cell.

"Well- the guy... We don't... We don't do that stuff so much anymore."

Astrid raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

She checked back over her logs to see if she was missing something.

"Is it something about McDonagh?"

"Yeah, we sort of weaned off our arrangement or whatever. I'm glad, honestly, because... You know, not gay. He seems to be fine with it, too. And the other two, well... They're always at it like rabbits! I didn't know someone could have that much sex..."

Chuckling a bit, he looked to the side.

"But Ben's a good guy. He's like the little brother of the cell... I mean, that's sort of fucked up to say, but..."

Nodding slowly, Astrid wrote down a few more notes.

She knew that the two of them had had sex several times, and as much as Kingston didn't care for it, he'd seemed to develop a close relationship (outside of sex) to the redheaded inmate.

"Perhaps you viewing him as a little brother is a bit...odd consider how I'm sure things have gone in the cell, but this is prison, so any dynamic that's not an unhealthy one is fine. It's good that you feel you can care about him though. All of you, really. I'm sure it helps him."

"Yeah, yeah! That's what I mean! It's obviously not like he's our REAL little brother, he's just... The one who needs protecting. I dunno, he brought us all together. I've told you this before, but like... Before him, we never spoke much, and when we did, we were usually angry as hell. He was like a sponge."

Kingston rubbed his cheek a bit.

"Even the murderer talks to me now. He smiles and he laughs and it's so _different_ and kinda scary sometimes, but... He's... It's like he actually **acknowledges** us now. Like part of his pride- I mean pack. Yeah, pack."

Astrid made no comment about him referring to his cell as a "pride," but wrote it down nonetheless.

"Well, I'm glad that things are looking up for you in there."

Putting the finishing touches on her notes, she placed the pen down and looked up at him, into his eyes, and smiled softly.

"Anything else you want to talk about?"

"I... Uuuhh..." He felt his cheeks redden. "Well, I was thinking a lot about the new guy. Do you know him? I know you don't know _everyone ever_ to be in the prison, but..."

Fiddling with his dreads, he turned his head to the side.

"He's kinda scary, almost scarier than Hullahaz. Maybe that's because I **know** Hullahaz now, but this guy, he's... He's small."

Eyes wide, he looked straight at Astrid.

"And that makes him CREEPY."

Astrid reached a hand forward and touched his arm to comfort him.

"I know very little about this new cellmate, but I would avoid him. Keep McDonagh away from him too, I know how he is. Just...stay safe and avoid him. It's all you CAN do."

She rubbed his arm with her thumb.

"I want to, but I... I just have this gut feeling that we're going to end up involved with him somehow. Like... He's gonna do something bad. McDonagh... I don't think I can stop him from going after him, but he seems to have protected him instead! Hullahaz hugged him!"

Kingston looked distressed, but the touch was making him feel warmer.

"I-I-I saw Ben's face and he... Looked really fucked up about it."

It seemed like this newcomer had made a small rift in the cell, which worried her.

Giving him a small squeeze with her hand, she offered him the most supportive smile she could give.

"Things will work out."

Looking up at her with wide, worried eyes, he dropped his tone of voice.

"But what if it _doesn't_?"

Honestly, it was all he could think about now. He'd fixated upon this new inmate.

"What's going to happen though? If you stay on his good side, and McDonagh isn't fighting him, and I'm sure Hullahaz and Ben will work things out, then there's nothing to worry about."

Her professionalism was momentarily overridden by her personal feelings, and she moved her hand up to his jaw, which she held fondly.

"But what if he eats our..." He wasn't able to complete his thought, because Astrid was now touching him more intimately, causing his eyes to flutter shut and his chest to warm up even more.

He would lose his mind if she started talking to him again, he was sure. He had to clear his thoughts and make sure she didn't see how he felt...

"Hearts..."

Her thumb slid along his cheek and she moved forward just a smidge over the desk, inching closer to his face.

"I don't think he'll take your heart."

Perhaps it was seeing the man she had feelings for needing her comfort and support, but she was drawn to him and wanted to be closer to him.

Kingston's heart was hammering now, and he felt something begin to course through him- and it was bad news. The more he fixated on Astrid's lips, and her little freckles, and the feeling of her skin against his hand, the more he found himself losing touch with reality...

"N-no, I think..." Someone else already did.

He wanted to kiss her _so badly,_ but he knew he'd be putting her career-and her- in danger. But the thought was overpowering! With a deep breath, he closed his eyes...

And stood up from the chair.

"I gotta go to the bathroom!"

Astrid had similar thoughts, and she had similar reasons for holding back. Her lips had parted a bit, but when Kingston stood up, she reached out for him.

"Stuart, wait!" But he had already left the room.

Locked up in the bathroom against the hall, he splashed cold water on his face, letting the droplets cling to his dreads as he panted. He couldn't let her know about that! Besides, what would it matter to her? She had a dozen other cases to work with, and every single one of them wanted to sleep with her.

Everyone who got Astrid ended up commenting about it, and it made him want to scream.

Maybe it was because he saw her as so much more- she was his antithesis. Calm, elegant, _smart_.

Astrid was concerned, so she followed him out, hearing him in the nearby bathroom. With a soft knock at the door, she called for him.

"Stuart, are you in there? You okay?"

"Aaagh, go away!!" He replied instinctually, jumping fifty feet in the air. He never got a bathroom to himself, so hearing her made him fear for his life.

It also didn't help his feelings that she was checking on him. But that was her job, wasn't it?

"That... isn't very reassuring. You sure you're fine?"

The way he'd reacted to her checking on him caused her to move back a bit, but she was still worried and didn't want to leave just yet.

Plus, they still had a little bit of time left on their appointment.

"I'm _fine_ , I'm fine, please... Just... Aaaagh..." Tugging at his hair, he closed his eyes tightly and groaned. "I just let it get to my head, that's all..."

Sighing deeply, he closed his eyes and pressed his forehead to the mirror.

"I'll go back to my cell, don't worry about me..."

Astrid scoffed, placing her hand on the doorknob and moving it slowly to see if it was locked (it was).

"Don't worry about you? But you stormed out of my office in a hurry! I'm worried I did or said something that upset you!"

The feeling felt heavy inside her.

"That's not because of anything _you_ did, I'm just... Confused! I don't want to die... I don't want to leave this place without telling-"

He took a deep breath and moved towards the door, unlocking it.

"Forget about it. It doesn't matter."

Astrid, who had been accidentally leaning on the door handle, fell forward a bit as the door swung open. Righting herself, she dusted off her skirt, blushing, and closed the door quickly behind her (and accidentally locked it). She cleared her throat, and stood up again looking into Kingston's eyes, still wondering what was going on with him.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure..." No, this was bad. Being in a small space with Astrid when he was feeling vulnerable was a terrible idea! He got to see her standing up for the first time properly, too, and _god_ , those legs...

He started to gesticulate wildly, trying to control his thoughts. He knew the words were bubbling up whether he wanted them to or not.

"It's just to do with the absurdity of my situation is all..."

Crossing her arms, she leaned back against the wall of the bathroom and watched him try to articulate his thoughts. She had to admit, it was pretty _damn_ cute.

"What do you mean, absurdity?"

"Well, I got no meds, I'm growing weed at the back of a greenhouse in the middle of prison to compensate, I share a cell with a murderer who I've **befriended** , I've been in a sexual relationship with a guy for two years which finally seems to be dying down, I keep kidding myself into thinking I'll be let out early for good behavior, and at the end of the day I don't know if I even actually _want_ to leave because I have a family here now," he felt tears spring to his eyes, which alarmed him considerably, "and I'm obsessing over this new guy because I worry he'll weasel his way into my family and try to kill me, and..."

He wiped his eyes and breathed very slowly. "I fell in love with you. So you know, everything's gone tits up, and..."

Astrid's arms dropped to her side as she heard Kingston spill all of these things in ways he didn't back in her office.

However, hearing that he had fallen for _her_ both surprised and delighted her.

"Oh Stuart..." She moved closer and held his head gently in her hand, looking into his eyes.

"You have so much you're worrying about, so much that will work out just _fine_ , I promise you. But at least let me tell you this." Her face was much closer to his than earlier.

"You don't have to worry about having feelings for me, because..." Astrid moved forward and gave the man a brief kiss on the lips.

"I have feelings for you too."

Kingston felt like he was swimming in honey. Everything was slow and sticky, but sweet as can be. He couldn't gather his thoughts for a moment, losing himself to the sensation of Astrid's lips on his own, even if for a second. She had feelings for him?

For _him_? How?

Of all the people in this prison, no- of all the people in the world, had she really chosen to feel something for him? Had he really managed to set himself apart from the rest?

Him, stupid little Stuart with bad grades and a bad brain and a dumb imagination? Who spent hours pretending he was a lion in the back of his trailer park? Who'd never amount to anything?

It seemed too good to be true.

"Heh- heh, I... I..."

His crotch found it a lot **easier** to process.

Giving him a sultry look, Astrid nuzzled his forehead with hers and giggled.

"I can't really explain what it is that first drew me to you, but... you seemed to like me as more than just a piece of ass, and talking to you felt less like part of my job and... something I got to enjoy."

She pulled herself in close and embraced him a bit more, noticing (but not yet acknowledging) what was going on in Kingston's pants.

"I-I'm sorry if, you know, what's... Going on down there is making you think I **do** just see you as a piece of ass, because I don't, because... I... I just... I started noticing that stuff later, I... Could listen to you talk for hours, you're just so smart and sweet and..." Still feeling like he was dreaming, he cautiously put a hand on her shoulder, rubbing it.

"I just really love you, I think so highly of you and..."

Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm his erection as well as his nerves. The hug didn't help. "Mmngh, I'm no good..."

_He really IS a sweet guy..._

Astrid hadn't thought all that much of his erection being indicative of him seeing her as just a sex toy; she knew she was attractive and being close to him might naturally lead to such a thing.

"You're kind, Stuart. I know you care about me, and I _love_ it. Don't worry about yourself, you're fine. You're perfect. You're _sweet_." She went in for another small kiss on his chin.

Being touched by her made him purr softly, a noise he never made unless he was feeling blissful, and one he'd taken years to perfect (but nobody had to know that). Being called perfect by her made his heart skip a beat, and his body relax considerably as a result. It was funny, really, being called perfect by perfection herself.

Pushing Astrid back just a teensy tiny bit, he leaned down to kiss her on the lips, holding her to him for a few long moments.

 _That_ did not help the pants situation, but he didn't care.

Keeping her hold on his head, she closed her eyes and pushed into the kiss, wanting it to last longer. Darting her tongue out, she rubbed it against his sharp teeth and smiled, enjoying their shape.

" _Stuart_..."

His face flushed, and his eyes closed tightly as he pulled her closer still, sighing loudly. He wanted to feel more of her, and his own tongue shyly pushed against hers. He hadn't kissed anyone properly in _years_.

Not sure where the boundary was set, he slid his hands down her back slowly, inhaling her scent between each kiss he gave her.

In a stroke of passion, Astrid let one of her hands slip down his chest, then his torso, then lightly brushed his groin. She had noticed his restraint in being too forward with her, which she rewarded with some teasing squeezes to his crotch. Licking her lips, she pushed in for a stronger kiss.

Kingston wasn't sure if this was in any way, shape or form a good idea, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Rolling his hips into her touch, he shuddered and exhaled before pushing back, practically pinning her to the wall.

A hand snaked to her thigh, tracing the inside of it.

The sudden push back made her gasp lightly, but excited her even more, and she bit her lip as she looked up at him. Spreading her legs out, she instinctively rocked her hips up so he would have more access to her.

" _Mmm... You wanna play with me Stuart?_ "

If he had a tail, it would be swaying. With an enthusiastic nod, he leaned in to nuzzle her neck, hand sliding up to stroke her through her panties. God, he'd missed fooling around with pussy...

Taking it slow, he turned his head to kiss up and down her neck, chest rumbling.

Astrid breathed more heavily, continuing to stroke the tall man through his uniform. With her hips pushed out, she raised a leg up and wrapped it around him, hoping he'd hold it up as she pulled him closer to her. Her other hand moved down to her skirt and slowly pulled it up until very little was left covered.

Kingston thought he couldn't get any harder, but _boy_ was he mistaken. His cock went rock hard against Astrid's hand, and he had to take a moment to breathe before focusing on her body. He held her leg as she silently commanded and began to push up against her crotch, fingers still swirling over the fabric of her underwear.

She was the woman of his dreams.

With her hands now free, Astrid moved to undo the buttons of her blouse, one agonizingly slow button at a time. He bra underneath was white lace with small red bows on the upper corners, and she let her shirt fall down onto her elbows off her shoulders as she moved back in for another kiss.

Kingston was practically panting as each button popped, not realizing just how _badly_ he'd wanted to truly see Astrid's body as opposed to just imagining it.

Yet the bra was in the way...! Still, it was awfully pretty, and it suited her... He could see enough of her breasts to consider himself a very lucky man, and he eagerly kissed her again, a hand pressing to her chest.

Taking one of her hands and pressing it to his, she helped him stay close to her breasts, while her other hand slipped behind her back and quickly unhooked her bra. Now with her chest freed up, she moved a hand back up to Kingston's cheek and caressed him, a small moan escaping her lips.

He gasped and felt a shiver run through him. He wanted to hump against her wildly, but he also wanted to take his time and enjoy her, caressing every inch of her. He went the slow route, squeezing one of her breasts.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

He couldn't help himself, and he leaned down to kiss her other breast...

Astrid moaned softly.

"Mmm, I try, but it's nice to hear you say that. Means a lot coming from _you_."

The back of her hand stroked his head, and she realized how much she wished his hair was free flowing and not in ratty dreadlocks.

_I bet he's got lovely hair inside those..._

His kisses quickly evolved into sucks, chest swelling up at the thought of Astrid thinking he was _important_. Letting his crotch rub up against her, he looked into her eyes, glad she was close to him.

He wanted to see every last detail of her.

He tweaked her nipple, tongue pressing against the other in circles. He loved her so much, and now he could finally touch her...

The sensations from having her nipples played with tingled in her clit, and she knew she'd be wet by the time he got underneath her panties. Astrid reached her hand down and pulled them aside, pushing herself against his uniform and leaving a small wet spot on the outside.

Her grip on his head tightened a bit, the feeling of being so _dirty_ with him exciting her.

His breath hitched, and it wasn't long before he let go of her breast in favor to go back to playing with her now exposed pussy, sliding a few fingers between her folds and getting them nice and wet. A moan escaped him at the sheer feeling of it, and his eyes rolled back.

Before he could stop himself, he moved away from her breast just enough to speak.

"Can I keep your panties once we're done..."

Astrid leaned her head back and laughed, perhaps a bit more loudly than she should have, but she didn't mind.

"Oh Stuart! You crack me up." Holding his head up with her hand, she grinned down at him.

" _Sure_."

Licking her lips, she gave him an alluring gaze, exhaling hard as she felt him fingering her lightly.

His eyes rolled back again, a dopey smile on his face at the thought of being able to keep her lingerie as a memento. He straightened himself out to begin kissing her, his erection's confinement becoming incredibly painful- yet he refused to act upon it until she told him to.

His fingers squeezed her clit lightly, before slowly sliding down to tease her entrance. His thumb rubbed at her, softly yet eagerly, and his kisses became deeper.

If this was his one shot, he wanted her to remember him.

The playing that Kingston was doing with his fingers was driving her wild, and she bit her lip, trying to stifle her moans and whimpers.

But she wanted _more_.

"Stuart, _baby_ , undo your pants. I want to feel _more_ of you."

Astrid rolled her head back and looked at him, a small smile on her lips.

 _Oh, **shit** , Astrid wants to see my dick_? Kingston's entire body tensed up as he looked into her eyes, panting hard.

"Are- are- are you sure? I don't wanna impose..." He shivered as she called him baby, and despite his vocal hesitance, he already found himself unzipping his pants, fingers slipping in a little deeper.

He was sure he'd wake up any minute...

Astrid looked down to see him undoing his pants in front of her, and she released a small gasp. It had been a while since she'd been with anyone, and now the thought of having sex with an inmate who both loved her and she loved _back_ made her slide her hand down his back, nails digging hard.

Pulling him in closer, she breathed hard.

" _Make love to me, Stuart_."

He winced and bit his lip to keep himself from crying out. Astrid was into rougher things? He would have never guessed, with how sweet she'd been to him... But maybe working with criminals made her crave something dangerous.

He was willing to allow her to get it.

Uniform now at his ankles, he pressed his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. "Got no lube, it might hurt..."

With how wet she was, he wouldn't be surprised if he slid right in.

Astrid let her mouth hang open, still partially in a smile.

"Baby, your fingers have been in me for how long, and you think you need lube? Maybe you HAVE been fucking men for too long..." Perhaps her comment was a bit rude, but she followed it up with, "I'm wetter now than I've ever been before, don't you worry."

A surge of cheekiness- _defiance_ \- overflowed within him, and he soon pushed himself into her, eyes half closed, grinning cockily. "I didn't fuck any men," he clarified in a whisper, "but you can't blame me for wanting to be considerate."

Slipping in further, it was his turn to dig his nails into her- though he merely squeezed her tighter, breath shaky. " _Fuck_ , you feel so good..."

Astrid lost her dominance momentarily when she felt him push into her, whispering the words, " _you too_."

Her eyes were rolling back, so she closed them, sliding her hand back up to pull him into a kiss, placing her tongue between his canines and teasing his tongue in return.

It was too much for Kingston. Gripping her hips, he pushed himself into the woman he loved and let her slide all the way down to the base of his cock, breathing shallow. Her tongue was met with a few licks and pushes, but most of his energy was put into holding her up.

He began at a slow pace, not wanting to hurt her, trying to compose himself so he wouldn't immediately reach his peak.

As much as she adored this, she knew she wanted another angle soon, but for now, she'd play this out gladly.

Feeling pushed down onto his cock, she released a long, slow moan, wrapped her leg around him tightly and closing her eyes, trying to continue to kiss him.

Her moan made his cock throb deep within her, tingles running down his spine as he began to slide out, only managing to exit her halfway before he slipped himself right back in, craving her too much to move further away.

He purred against her lips, telling her he loved her and that he'd do anything to please her... He began to ache for her, wanting to slam his body against her- but he had some semblance of tact.

"You... love me..." Astrid slowly unhooked her leg from around Kingston and placed it down. She slid him out and then turned over, pulling her skirt up to expose her ass while leaning against the wall.

" _Show me how much you love me_."

Putting his hands to his face, he couldn't conceal his gleeful expression. Slowly grabbing her hips, he pushed himself right back in with a shaky 'yeah, I love you', licking his lips as he went balls deep, taking a moment to enjoy her before starting to move again.

"Astrid, I... I've wanted this shit for _so long_..."

Her moans were louder, her breath being practically pushed out with every thrust, and she tilted her head back.

" _Oh babe, I have too_..." Astrid's words faded out, and she pushed her ass back against him, eyes rolling back.

Unable to hold back, he began to thrust vigorously against Astrid, bending over until his dreads were over her shoulders, eyes closed despite his best efforts to keep them open.

It felt so _dangerous_ , so risky and dirty and wonderful... He wished he could break out so he could start a life with her- and that's when he knew he wasn't just making shit up in his head. He really was in love with her.

Astrid's hands were beside her head, which she'd turned to the side. Reaching back for one of Kingston's hands, she slid it down her front, moving his fingers to her clit, which she hoped he'd start playing with.

" _Fuck_..."

He did as he was silently commanded to, forehead now pressed to her shoulder as he pounded into her, knowing he wouldn't be able to keep this pace up in a million years, yet not wanting the pleasure to stop.

He could feel whimpers escape him, but he could barely hear them. His head was fuzzy...

If he managed to keep up what he was doing with his fingers, she'd be able to hit her orgasm soon. It almost surprised her how _badly_ she wanted this,

Holding her breath as best she could, she whimpered, " _S-Stuart, I'm gonna cum soon_..."

"Me too, baby, me too..." He didn't even bother concealing the fact he was going to hit that sweet spot any minute. Rubbing her faster, he panted, thrusting into her hard enough to make her skid forward a tiny bit.

He knew he had to pull out, so he pre-emptively slipped out of her, rubbing his erection between her cheeks before rolling his eyes back, a long whimper of 'Astrid' escaping him before he leaned down to bite her shoulder in order to silence himself, cum coating her back.

Astrid felt him cum onto her, and she silently wished he'd stayed _in_ , even if it would have meant trouble for her.

Focusing on the rubbing, she held her breath before feeling herself peak, a low moan trailing out of her lips.

" _Sssstuart_...." Her feet began to slip back as she slipped down the wall, needing assistance quickly to stand up.

Still riding the high of his orgasm, it took him a moment to realize Astrid was slipping onto the floor.

"Oh, shit!"

He grabbed her firmly, pulling her up against him, ignoring the feeling of his own sperm on his shirt, which had stayed on during the ordeal.

"I got you... I got you, babe..."

Astrid couldn't speak, still catching her breath, but she was thankful for Kingston being there to catch her.

However.... the dawning realization of her immediate situation hit her.

"S-Stuart, what am I going to do about my clothes? You came all over them..." She didn't want to sound accusatory, especially not when all she _wanted_ to do was cuddle, but she was completely _screwed_ , in more ways than one.

"I-"

You _idiot_ , Stuart! No wonder nobody hung around you in school.

"I fucking-! I did that. I can't believe- I just jeopardized your whole career, I... I had sex with you! **You're my advisor**! Astrid!! I am going to go to _jail_ for this!" Fuck, wrong words. "I mean- Shit, here, I'll... Clean it off for you in the sink and, and use the dryer, and... Fuck, I'm sorry, I'm..."

 _Oh no_... Astrid didn't mean to send him into a panic. Turning her head to the side, she moved her body around to give him the best kiss she could.

"Shhh... it's okay babe, it's okay. We'll think of something. You're fine, you just, didn't fully think it through. I understand. You didn't want to get me pregnant, and I appreciate that." Giving him another kiss, she found the strength to stand on her own again and moved forward, pulling off her clothes.

Of course, she didn't mind stripping down in front of him.

He blushed at the sight of her, despite having just had sex with her, and gladly collected her clothes to begin washing them in the sink. He didn't know how to thank her for not losing her temper with him or calling him an idiot outright.

Scrubbing firmly, he felt his legs wobble. That had been a strong orgasm.

"I, uh... I hope you had fun, anyhow..." Of course, he knew things had to go back to normal now, and this would never be spoken of again, and he'd never be able to show her he loved her...

Without thinking, he kept talking. "I wouldn't mind, you know... Starting a life with you, but I'm- I'm no good."

Astrid had been washing herself off, listening to him talk as she took a paper towel to her back, but hearing him talk about starting a life with her made her pause, and she looked over at him.

Moving close to him, she put an arm up over his shoulder.

"Stuart Kingston, I would _love_ to start a life with you. And, I will do everything in my power to help you write an appeal so you can get out of here sooner." She gave him a gentle kiss.

"Would you like that?"

He gave absolutely no warning- he was suddenly crying into her clothes. He didn't know how or why he'd begun (as he hadn't cried in _years_ ) but here he was, sniffling and nodding as tears fell into the sink, as if he were just a child.

The mere thought someone as radiant as Astrid would want him in her life, even after just finding out about his feelings, was enough to make him feel hopeful, if emotionally bare.

If only the others could come with him... He'd have to try extra hard to be good in the eyes of the law.

"I wann- I wanna... I wanna be good for you..."

Astrid gave him another kiss and moved her head close to him.

"Oh babe... you _are_. Just by being a part of my life, you've made my life that much _better_." Stroking his head, she closed her eyes.

Nuzzling her, he continued to cry in silence, holding her clothes to him. He got to scrubbing them again soon enough, but he was still blinking back tears. He owed her so much- months of happiness, understanding, comfort...

He was so lucky.

Astrid moved her arms to his waist, which she hugged while leaning against him. Suddenly remembering what she said she'd give him, she pulled her panties off completely and stepped out of them, holding them behind her back so she could offer him them once she got her other clothes back.

He took her clothes over to the hand dryer, holding them under it for a good while. "It's not gonna do much, but... Hopefully they'll be at least wearable. I'm so sorry, Astrid... I was careless..."

Astrid handed him her panties, letting them dangle off her fingertips as she took her clothes back.

"They'll work just fine, thanks love." Getting onto her toes, she leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips.

He blushed considerably and held them up to the light. "Woah, really? Are you _sure_ I can have these?"

His heart fluttered at the sudden kiss, and he chuckled softly as he returned it. He'd be having fun tonight...

Nodding, Astrid pulled on her clothes, not minding the fact she was still wet and without her underwear.

Maybe she'd spend some alone time in her office before she had to meet with another inmate...

"Want me to schedule another appointment to talk about how things _progress_? It'll be in a week."

Taking her hand gently, he leaned in close to give her a cuddle. "Mind if we pretend my appointment isn't over just yet? Let me walk you back to your office..."

Panties in his pocket, he grinned at her.

"You _bet_ I wanna meet in a week."

Astrid tilted her head and smirked up at him.

Opening the door, she led him back over to her office quickly, thankful that no one was around to see them. She closed her office door once they were inside, all of the blinds closed, with her door locked.

Her clit was throbbing, and she wanted _more_.

Kingston eagerly pushed her onto her desk, climbing on top of her to kiss her for a few minutes, relishing the taste of her lips...

Yet he soon climbed down, spreading her legs apart with a devious look in his eyes.

"I see someone's not had her fill..."

A gentle flick of his tongue against her folds should get the ball rolling...

Astrid had barely any time to react before she was not only kissed, but teased. She pushed him back for a moment so she could pull off her skirt (she wanted it off this time), and kicked it aside, spreading her legs apart as far as possible before stroking the inside of her thigh with one hand, leaning back on the other.

"Mmm, of course not."

Smirking, he watched the skirt be flung away with delight before moving to give her a longer, yet slower lick. His tongue pushed at her folds, her taste soon becoming addictive to him. He let it glide across her before coming to rest on her clit, giving it a few circular licks.

All he wanted from life now was to pleasure Astrid. He didn't care if he never saw the sunlight again.

Astrid tucked up her legs, moaning softly as she whimpered. Silently wondering if Kingston had eaten out much before, she noticed how _good_ he was at it.

"Mmmff.... S-Stuart..." She exhaled hard.

Spurred on by Astrid's moans, he pressed his lips to her clit and sucked, gently at first, yet slowly applying more force. His hands gently spread her lips apart, and once he was done suckling, he let his tongue trail down to her entrance, which he prodded insistently before slipping his tongue inside.

She released a soft gasp as she felt him slip his tongue inside, her arm going weak. From the earlier orgasm, she was lacking in body strength, and laid herself back across her desk while she breathed hard, gritting her teeth as she closed her eyes.

Ooh, she liked having him inside her, no matter how that was... With a soft smile, he pushed his tongue in deeper, sliding it against her walls in order to seep up her wetness. His hand trailed up to rub at her clit while he was at it...

Putting her hands to his head, Astrid held him close, curling up her toes and rocking her hips into the feeling.

" _I... I love you..._ "

He closed his eyes at the words, licking her thoroughly before moving his mouth back up to her clit, sucking and licking in circles again, trying to show her how much he loved her in return.

He never wanted to leave her side.

Astrid could feel the care coming through the way he treated her, and she cooed softly at each lick she received. It took everything in her power not to just slid down to the floor and make love all over again, so she gripped into his hair with her fingers while her moans got louder.

He was sporting a new erection from all the attention he was giving her, and he looked up at her with a smile as he glided his tongue across her, fingers massaging her folds.

He'd read somewhere about the G-spot... Slipping a finger inside her cautiously, he tried to find it.

It didn't take all that long for him to _find_ it either, and she arched up her back, giving off a longer, howling moan. In an instant, she covered her mouth, deathly afraid of someone hearing.

"Bring.... bring me to the floor...."

Kingston took that rather literally, and, gripping Astrid firmly, brought her down to the floor of her office, moving away from her pussy just long enough to look into her eyes, grinning.

"You make the prettiest sounds, babe."

Nuzzling her stomach, he made his way back down between her legs.

A smile crept across her lips.

"So do you." She remembered back in the bathroom when she was teasing him with her words.

"I _love_ it when you show me how much you love me..."

He planned to continue to do so, until she no longer needed him anymore, and he dove right between her legs again, licking and sucking with more enthusiasm than before.

Hell, he even _moaned_ as he did so.

Now finally able to stretch out, she rolled her head back and held him in place, keeping her legs tucked up as she moaned loudly through her hand.

"S-Stuart-" Her orgasm was close.

He stuck his tongue _deep_ inside her, wanting to be in her when her orgasm hit. He wanted all of her, for as long as he could have her... And if he could do this each time he saw her, he'd die a happy man.

Astrid's orgasm echoed through her body, and she slowly wriggled around as she rhythmically contracted around his tongue. This orgasm had been even _better_ , and as she looked down at him, she realized she wanted him inside of her again.

" _Babe... come up... come close_..." She was out of breath, and she held her hand out so she could unzip his uniform as he moved up.

Kingston was now instinctively rubbing himself against the floor, swallowing every last drop of Astrid's orgasm. His eyes rolled back, he tried to look up at her, his mind a haze.

Slipping his tongue out of her and giving her a few final licks, he crawled up to look into her eyes again. As he felt his zipper go down, he shivered. "You sure...?"

" _Mhm_..."

Astrid pushed down his underwear and hooked a leg over him, angling him with her hand so the very tip of his cock was pressed inside of her. Moving her hand up to her blouse, she undid the buttons as quickly as she could before pushing _his_ shirt up as well.

" _I wanna feel you pressed against me_." Her voice was a whisper, and her eyelids drooped.

" _I love you... and I want to lie here with you and make love you over and over_."

Kingston's ears went red from how much eagerness Astrid was showing to make love to him again. He felt his cock twitch against her, tip rubbing against her entrance as she positioned him. Biting his lip, he knew he couldn't refuse.

He lay down on her slowly, her soft breasts against his chest providing a feeling of warmth that caused him to sigh.

"I love you too, babe... I wanna... I wanna just stay inside you and..." He began pushing into her. "Die here, happily... Never have to think of anything else ever again..."

Sighing happily, Astrid wrapped an arm around him, while the other delicately held his jaw.

Slowly pushing in for a kiss, she closed her eyes, opening her mouth slowly while she tenderly licked his lips.

"Stuart.... I... I wanna start a family with you. I love you, and..." Words failed her. Her face went red as she realized what she'd said, so she turned her head down and tried to hide.

Kingston felt his erection _grow_ as Astrid licked the remains of her own orgasm from his lips, and he pushed further into the kiss.

Once she spoke, though, he froze up. Eyes wide like a deer's, he looked down at her as if she'd broken his brain. She sort of had.

"But I'm... Stuck in here...? How would- How... No..." He knew he wouldn't be able to deny her this. He didn't _want_ to. Pushing in further still, he arched his back. "Okay... Okay, I'll... Do my best..."

A higher-pitched sigh escaped her lips as she felt him pushing further in, and she looked up at him.

"But babe, you _always_ do your best." Pulling him into a tight kiss, she wrapped her legs around him and held him as close as she could.

There was no escape now. Astrid had him ensnared in her web like a spider, and he was willing to have his head bitten off as long as it meant she got to be happy.

Moaning quietly, he sucked on her lower lip as he tried his best to start moving, hips pushing up against her.

It didn't take much for her moans to start again, and she gasped softly with each thrust. One of her hands slid down to the inmate's ass, and she grabbed him, playing with his body.

He felt so _nice_.

The extra touch made him jolt, and he stretched his arms out, feeling his claws pop out- wait- no... _What_?

Something within him sparked up, and he soon began to thrust into her as he had done in the bathroom, except this time there was _much_ less space between them.

The sheer closeness they had meant his thrusts pushed in further, and she wanted to entirely lose herself to the feeling. Her kisses got harder, and she moaned through them, each one getting louder and louder.

He didn't want to silence her, but he knew they'd be in serious trouble if someone were to walk in, so with all the strength he had he kept her lips pressed to his, so at least that way the sound was somewhat muffled.

He could feel her tighten around him, and he felt like she was going to wring him dry. He wouldn't mind.

She'd already had two orgasms and was unlikely to have another, but it was more than enough for her, and she wanted him to have his own second orgasm. Preferably inside of her.

Astrid appreciated him quieting her, especially because of _how_ he chose to do it, and she breathed heavily, trying to give him all of the best feelings she could.

He increased the pace as he felt his body catch fire, his eyes rolling back as he whimpered into Astrid's mouth, his balls tightening as he pushed himself as deeply within her as he could, entire frame shaking as he emptied himself within her.

He had no idea he could produce this much after having orgasmed shortly before... But he hoped she'd like the feeling of it.

Astrid felt him slow down, noticing how his breathing changed, and smiled up at him lovingly.

" _Thank you_." She merely whispered to him.

Sliding her hand to his, she interlaced their fingers and closed her eyes, giving her lover small pecks on his chin.

He breathed deeply, collapsing on her, hand squeezing her own as he pressed his forehead to hers.

"N-no... Thank _you_..." Taking another deep breath, he murmured, "For everything..."

Loving him, helping him, believing in him, giving him a chance... Everything.

"Well... I love you. You mean so much to me." With a soft giggle, she added, "You're very welcome."

They laid there for several minutes before a loud knock at the door startled her, causing her to jump.

"Hey! Novak! The next inmate's been waitin' for like 20 minutes! You alright?" The guard attempted to open the door, but the lock kept it shut.

Astrid called up to them as she stood up. "Y-yes! I'll be ready for them in about five!"

Kingston nuzzled her in delight, kissing her neck and jaw line as she told him she loved him. Hearing the guard outside returned him to his reality a little too soon.

It was with clumsy sadness that he pulled out of Astrid, his energy almost entirely depleted.

"I'll help," he whispered, despite being in no fit state to do much at all.

Astrid gave him a quick kiss as she re-buttoned her shirt and pulled on her skirt, hoping she wouldn't leak over the course of the day.

"Thanks..."

Fixing up her room, she wrapped her arms around him in a final hug, giving him a kiss goodbye.

"I'll make sure to set up your appointment for next week."

He nodded, running a hand through her hair in an attempt to smooth it out. Giving her a light squeeze, he whispered in her ear.

"You've made me the happiest man alive... I love you."

Walking out of there was an adventure. He was practically woozy, but the grin on his face was impossible to conceal.

A smile on her face, she looked up into his eyes. "I love you too, Stuart."

Astrid called in the next inmate, apologizing for the wait.... only sort of meaning it.


	10. After Effects

Back in the cell, Ben noticed that Kingston had been gone quite some time. "Jesus, I hope everything's going okay."

Just then, the cell door flew open, and in came Kingston, still smiling like a dork and swaying from side to side. McDonagh raised an eyebrow, and Hullahaz held Ben a little tighter just in case the blonde was somehow drunk.

"Good meeting?" The redhead inquired.

"YEP," Kingston announced, "and now I'm gonna sleep for half my life. Gnight."

Before anyone could object, he landed face first on his bed.

Ben looked up at Hullahaz, an eyebrow up, and shook his head.

"Well... alright then." Guess he wouldn't be joining them for lunch.

McDonagh seemed slightly unamused by this, but said nothing. Hullahaz relaxed his grip on Ben, and shook his head slowly.

"Really hope it ain't mash again for lunch."

The next week, Ben found himself holding back on meals. Orozco had taken it upon himself to take over the kitchen, and the idea of the scary man making everyone's food was enough to make him start starving himself. The other men continued to bring him food, but it wasn't enough, and he began losing weight, on an already skinny body.

...

Feeling confident that no one would bother him in the shower early in the morning, Ben slipped out for a quick one, wanting to make this as painless as possible.

The men did whatever they could to get him to eat, even assuring him that the food was delicious now and he should really try it, but it seemed to be doing them no good. Kingston and McDonagh had had a tremendous falling out, and were no longer on speaking terms, but they still both brought him food.

Orozco was showering on his own, his new friends having decided to give him some space after trailing behind him all day. He knew he was being observed, and that he'd have to do something extraordinary in order for them to see him as someone _special_.

Lost in his daydream, he barely noticed the young man coming in.

Barely.

"Hey..."

Ben froze up momentarily, hearing a familiar voice. But not a friendly one.

Turning around slowly, he saw Orozco showering, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"H-hey."

"You're the little _gallito_ who keeps skipping out on meals. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with my cooking, more like?"

Eyes narrowed, he ran a hand through his hair, some of the red dripping down the drain. Even now, it seemed like he kept himself in perfect condition.

Ben nervously tapped his fingers together.

"No, nothing about your cooking, I'm just... Never hungry." It was half a lie.

"That's not true and you _know_ it. You're losing weight. You're obviously hungry." He was getting annoyed now. Had he done something to make Ben dislike him?

"What. Is. The. Problem?"

"N-nothing!!" He _knew_ he shouldn't lie and did it anyway.

"I guess it's just hard to eat when you're apprehensive?" Ben bit his lip, regretting the words.

"Apprehensive."

Fury let his head hang for a moment before thrusting it back with a laugh.

"What, you think I'm _poisoning_ the food? You think I'm feeding you fuckers _human_?"

Ben flinched back at the laughter.

"No! I don't think you would anyway. I dunno, sorry..."

"Then what's the issue? Would you rather we just not serve you instead?" He narrowed his eyes. "I hate throwing food away. But I get it- I scare you."

Turning his nose up at Ben, he shut off the water.

Ben rubbed the back of his head.

"I mean... Can you really blame me though? I'm not the strongest, bravest guy, and hearing about what you've done, it's...intimidating."

Ben closed his eyes, hoping that his words would land well.

"Whatever. _I_ have a legitimate reason to be here, so I'm not surprised you're intimidated. You're the only prostitute I've met who's lasted this long in here. I guess you have the skeleton man to thank?"

He was clearly annoyed. He liked being feared, sure, but he hated people not eating what he worked so hard to make.

"Starve if you want. It's not my problem."

Ben cowered a bit. "Yeah, alright..."

Turning back to his shower, he tried to clear his mind.

It was at least... Nice to have a normal-ish conversation with him.

Fury opened his eyes wide and did nothing but stare at Ben for a while. He was tired of the impression he got that Ben felt he was better than him.

His huge red eyes were boring into Ben's soul.

It was because of the skeleton, wasn't it?

Ben tried to ignore the feeling of being watched, but he couldn't shake it long enough to take his shower. As he rinsed off, he turned around.

"What?"

"That... boy has given you confidence, hasn't he?" He grunted. "He's made you think you're untouchable."

Smiling slowly, he narrowed his eyes. "That's why you look at me that way..."

_Except when I'm alone with you!!_

Ben shivered, seeing his eyes narrow at him.

"W-well... I don't know!!"

"You don't know? Dammit, kid! You look at me like I'm the devil, you don't eat my fucking food, and now you don't even answer my questions." Growling, he turned away, going over to the mirror to apply his makeup back on.

Ben turned off the water and grabbed his towel, walking closer to Orozco.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just...have a hard time trusting people outside my cell, and since you're the one everyone is scared of nowadays, it's just hard to feel comfortable around you. As me, some twink nobody who has someone else protect him so he's not eaten alive."

Ben rubbed his eyes.

"When I get nervous, I lose my appetite, and whenever I see you I get nervous, hence why I never eat. I can start trying to work past that though. I'm not trying to view you as a bad guy. Especially considering.... Why you committed the crimes that got you locked up here." Looking down, he hugged his arm.

"So yeah. I'm sorry."

"I'm never even around, you little bitch," he was unable to bite back, feeling anger bubble inside him despite his best efforts to keep it down. "I'm always in the kitchen, slaving away to provide the food that- Oh, I forgot, _you don't even eat_."

Running a hand through his hair, he began to aggressively apply mascara to his eyelashes.

"I love that you think I'm scary, I really do, but me as a person shouldn't affect the quality of my food. I saved this place's kitchen, for fuck's sake."

Looking over his shoulder, now with his face dolled up but clear contempt in his eyes, he began getting dressed.

"You can stop being afraid of me, by the way- you're not my _type_."

Ben shrunk back, realizing he'd offended him more by trying to apologize.

"Alright, sorry." He didn't look up at him and instead dug his nails into his arm.

With a roll of his eyes and a loud, irritated click of his tongue, Orozco left the bathroom.

Fuck that guy, he thought. If he didn't want to eat, then he didn't have to. But when he starved, he'd better not expect him to help.

Ben didn't really know how to feel. He'd been trying to say that he would be more okay with eating, now that he'd more or less gotten over his bigger fear of Orozco, but the man seemed more pissed off at him now over the fact he hadn't been eating.

Nothing had improved from this shower, and he walked back over to his clothes to get dressed, feeling upset.

Heading back up to the room, he curled up on the bed and sighed, a big frown on his face.

Hullahaz noticed this, and knowing neither man on the other side of the room would speak up, he put an arm around Ben and quietly asked him what was wrong. Had he been given too much time to think? Had someone hurt him in there?

Orozco was determined to make that breakfast the best breakfast he'd ever made.

"I saw Orozco in the showers. We talked... and I apparently insulted him. Mainly because I haven't been eating, and then telling him it was because I was scared of him only made it worse. I-I just wanted to get over my fear so I could eat more easily, but now he just doesn't like me!"

"What did I tell you about showin' fear in prison?" He replied quietly, not wanting to chastise Ben, but wanting him to remember the basics- he feared he might get _too_ comfortable. Running a hand through his wife's hair, he sighed. "The reason he got offended must mean it meant a lot to him, though, don't you think? He's probably scared too, and he wants to find his place."

Scooting in closer to his husband, Ben shut his eyes tightly. "I just wanna be on good terms with him... so I'll probably have to eat more now..."

Hullahaz felt like perhaps he was talking out of his ass. "I'd be happier if you did, y'know. It scares _me_ to see you get so thin."

Ben rubbed his eyes with his hands.

"Ugh, yeah I know. I keep messing that up... it's gonna keep biting me in the ass... I should just eat up and shut up."

His stomach rumbled, having consumed very little food in the past week, and he sighed.

"You _should_ just eat up. You're gonna fade away and I'm gonna be sad," he nuzzled Ben's cheek with his nose, chuckling. "It's good food, I promise. A whole fuckin' one-eighty on what we had before."

At the mention of food, Kingston began to stir.

Ben heard Kingston moving around, but he didn't turn back to look.

"Yeah, so I've heard. I've just been too anxious, even though I've _wanted_ to try it."

"Why does he scare you so much? He can't be any worse than me," Hullahaz whispered, looking Ben in the eyes.

Stoner man was hungry. Being upset made him get a bigger appetite.

Ben shrugged. "I dunno, maybe because you already had a pre-established position here in the prison, and I _saw_ him earn his. You and I had to live with each other, I only see him sparingly. He's amassed a following, and you... just have people's respect. One of those things is a lot of people around you all the time. And _that's_ scary for someone like me. In or out of prison."

"Wait. He has a following?" Shit, last he'd checked, the guy only had a few Hispanics trailing behind him. Now he had an actual, proper following? Prison life was crazy. "Okay, I gotta admit that's pretty scary. Still, I don't think he'd just go around bullyin' people... He's tryin' to feed us."

Pressing his head against Hullahaz, he sighed.

"Yeah, I don't think he would either, but I'll probably always be nervous regardless. But I can't let it get in the way of me eating."

His stomach rumbled in agreement.

"You could always try and join," he joked again, trying to bring the mood up. "But no, I doubt they'll mess with you if you eat. He don't seem... Like a _bad_ guy."

Kingston rubbed his eyes and stood up, stumbling around. "When's breakfast...? I'm hungry."

Ben rolled over in bed. "Soon. I'll actually be joining you guys for once." He knew that he usually skipped breakfast then nibbled on things for lunch and dinner, so it would probably surprise him.

Kingston turned to him, eyes wide. He had a pair of panties in his hand- fortunately he'd washed them. "What, really? Crazy stuff, dude! I'm glad, though. Mexican sweets are the shit."

Ben rasied an eyebrow at the underwear in his hand.

"Uh, Kingston? Where did you get those?"

"The- these? Uhh... I..." He bit his lip, looking up at McDonagh for help before remembering that was a thing of the past. "I got 'em in the mail..."

Hullahaz snorted, burying his face against Ben's shoulder.

Ben noticed how Kingston had looked up at McDonagh but didn't say anything.

"Well, alright. Nice to know you've got someone back home who sends you things like that." Whoever they were, they hadn't come up until now, which seemed odd.

"Yeah, right? It's nice to know I'm cared for," lying sucked, but he couldn't put Astrid in danger. Shit was bad enough with McDonagh being aware, and he feared that in his anger, he'd rat them out.

Hullahaz ran a hand down Ben's back before sitting up. "Let's go get you acquainted with food."

Ben nodded, smiling, as he got ready to head down for breakfast. For once, he was actually looking forward to it.

McDonagh still refused to speak a word to anyone, but he trailed behind them as they went off to eat... And as it turned out, Orozco really had blown his budget on this breakfast. Making huevos rancheros for everyone meant frying hundreds of eggs! Some people had to wait in line, and he was afraid he'd run out...

In the event of that happening, there was always chocolate fondant...

Ben was absolutely _floored_ by the spread of food, and he tried to downplay how excited and _hungry_ he was. He wasn't sure if Orozco had put forth the effort because of his interaction with Ben earlier, as if to tempt him to try, and if he was not pleased, then he'd never offer up a meal again to him, but he didn't question it and got himself a bigger helping of food than he'd grabbed before.

Hullahaz watched in (pleased) awe as Ben piled food onto his plate, and he settled himself down with his own plate to start digging in. The guy had outdone himself again, and he hoped Ben would think the same.

"Damn, what did they call these? Hue..."

"Huevos rancheros," Kingston piped up. "I had a friend who used to make them."

McDonagh merely snorted.

Ben pushed out his thoughts about his cellmates in order to dig in.

The food was fantastic, especially so because of how hungry he was, and he'd already wolfed down half of the plate before slowing down.

"Damn, the man really CAN cook."

"Better than eating potatoes every day," McDonagh said softly in an attempt at humor. At least he was trying, right?

Kingston forced out a laugh, and it didn't much help.

Hullahaz hoped whatever business this was would blow over soon. "Hope he's watchin'. If he bugs you after this, I think I will kick him."

Ben snorted. "Yeah, I hope he doesn't bother me either. He told me that he doesn't care if I starve, so I don't think he's all THAT invested in me, but who knows, really."

All three of them went 'ooh' at once, as if they'd just been given bad news. "That's... harsh, dude. I'm sorry."

"Guy's a maniac."

"He was probs just tryin' to seem tough."

Ben didn't realize that him saying that would cause such a reaction, so he shrunk down a little bit in his seat.

"Yeah, probably. Although it's accurate. Why should he care if one inmate starves while all the others are fine?"

"Yeah, true..." Kingston rested against his palm.

"I guess we just care because it's you," McDonagh ventured.

The three knew he was right.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, he pushed his half-eaten tray away.

"Well, this is better than not eating any of it. I actually _am_ full now."

Glancing around, he still didn't see Orozco.

"Of course, you gotta start small," Hullahaz pressed his lips to Ben's forehead. "Proud of you."

He himself had not been watching, but he'd have one of his assistants tell him how breakfast went overall.

Kingston's eyes kept trailing over to McDonagh, who seemed more lost in his thoughts than ever.

Ben smiled when he was kissed, his eyes thanking Hullahaz, but he was soon distracted by his other cellmates.

"McDonagh? You okay?" He'd probably regret asking that.

It took him a moment to look over at Ben, eyes still glazed over. "Hmm? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine. Peachy." He smiled slowly. "I'm going to fight today. I'm fine."

Kingston's eyes fell to his plate.

Ben glanced over at Kingston for only a brief moment.

"T-that's good. I hope it goes well for you." Doing his best to sounds as genuine as possible, he was still concerned.

_What is going on with them?_

"Not gonna watch?" He asked, with just a hint of sadness in his tone. Why did everything seem to be falling apart inside him? He shook his head. "No worries."

Getting up from the table, he took his tray with him.

Hullahaz looked down at Ben before shrugging.

Ben stood up.

"I could! Do you want... me..." he'd already left.

"...to."

Suddenly, his stomach began to churn, and he wanted to run after him, feeling awful.

Kingston whispered, head in his hands. He knew the other two were wondering what had happened. "We fought."

"No shit, Sherlock," Hullahaz mumbled in reply, putting a hand on the table. "The question is **why**? "

"I can't- I can't tell you that."

Ben narrowed his eyes as he sat down. Sitting close to Hullahaz, he tilted his head.

"Why not?"

"It's too personal! I'd be betraying his trust if I told you." And Astrid's. "I'm sorry, I just can't do it."

Hullahaz sighed slowly.

Ben folded his arms on the table and leaned forward, resting his head on them.

"Alright..."

Hopefully, whatever it was, McDonagh could take it out during his fight.

And he tried. Lord did he try. Yet still, at the end of it all, he felt empty.

He had to write to that Astrid woman. Even if he never spoke to Kingston again.

Returning to his cell, he tore out a page from his journal and got to writing.

Astrid was looking through her mailbox, flipping through the junk mail that passed through her work box, when she saw one from a name she never anticipated to hear from.

_Cillian McDonagh._

Walking back to her office, she slowly opened the letter, pulling out the paper inside it and reading it.

* * *

 

_Astrid,_

_I know about you and Kingston. Before you get worried, no, he hasn't told anyone else, and I won't either. The idiot left a pair of female underwear in plain view and I confronted him about it. I admit I was very brash and unnecessarily aggressive, but he said a few things that hurt me to the core and I don't know if I'm able to push past it._

_You don't know me, and I don't know you, but I promise you I'm not going to betray you. I told Kingston my anger was due to him jeopardizing both your career and the cell's reputation for good behavior. While that was part of it, there was more._

_I've developed feelings for him despite my best efforts, and he knows about them now. I know he feels nothing for me, as he's said so himself, but this is why I'm writing to you. Please take care of him, Astrid. Get him out of here._

_If only for me to get a good night's sleep._

* * *

Astrid had moved her hand to her mouth as she read, tremendous guilt filling her as she thought about how things must be now between them, almost regretting giving him her underwear. Of course, it had forced the two of them to be incredibly honest with each other, for better or worse.

Her heart went out to McDonagh, and she felt a few tears come to her eyes as she re-read the last bit of the letter.

She wanted to reach out to him and try to help him, but she wasn't his counselor, and wasn't sure if it would even help. Not while she was the object of Kingston's affections, with Kingston being McDonagh's. He probably didn't even want to see her.

But perhaps she could talk to Kingston.

Sending out a personal request to see him, she hoped he'd be able to come see her that day.

Kingston was pretty worried when he heard Astrid wanted to see him again so soon. Not that he didn't love seeing her, but he always felt like being summoned meant there was bad news ahead.

McDonagh had been even more despondent than before, too, making him reluctant to leave the cell and see her.

He just wished he could get out. Maybe she'd have _good_ news...? He doubted it.

At the knock at her door, Astrid jumped a bit, tissue in hand. She hadn't cried more than the few tears earlier, but she wanted to be prepared. The letter was resting halfway under her keyboard.

"Come in."

He opened the door slowly, putting on his best smile, canines in full view.

"You got some news for m-"

At once he could tell something was wrong. Rushing over to her desk, he took her hands.

"What's wrong??"

Astrid stood up quickly, closing and locking her door. She sat back down so he could hold her hands, and she looked away, not meeting his eyes.

"I... I may have been a bit selfish. Or, I don't know..."

Her eyes darted over to the letter.

"You were worried that things would go poorly, and I told you they'd be fine." Biting her lip, she sniffled back some tears.

"And now... I've caused a rift."

Kingston, being... Well, Kingston, didn't quite understand what she meant. But he still knew things were bad.

"What do you mean? What rift? What happened?"

Walking up to her, he wrapped his arms around her, trying his best to console her.

"I don't understand what's going on... Is it... Is it because of..."

Astrid buried her face in Kingston's chest and wrapped her arms around him.

"McDonagh... even if you don't care about him like he does you... was really _badly_ hurt by my selfish decision. And now," she grabbed the letter and slid it across the desk to him, pointing at the right line, "I might have irreparably damaged your relationship with him. Your relationship as cellmates, not lovers."

Gripping his shirt with her hand, she welled up, feeling like an utter _failure_ at her job, and like a huge disgrace as a human being.

"But- but it wasn't selfish! I love you, you love me, this is how things are _supposed_ to go! He- I mean- I didn't even know he knew you...!" He shook his head hard. "Who cares how he feels? This is between us! He has no say in the matter! If he wants to be a crybaby about it, that's his problem!"

Gripping her more tightly, he felt himself getting agitated. "We weren't lovers! I don't feel that way about him!"

Hands shaking, he held her face. "Don't pin this on yourself, please..."

Astrid opened her eyes wide and pushed him back, not that hard, but enough so that she could look up into his eyes.

"How could you say that!? Imagine if _I_ had rejected you for another man, after you and I were very close, and if you had hoped and seen signs that maybe I loved you back!?" She raised her hands up to her head and held it.

"I know that you want to pretend like you felt _utterly nothing_ for him, but you _broke his heart_ , and you can't play it off as him being a cry baby!"

Closing her eyes, she sighed, lowering her head.

"I'm... I'm sorry. This is my fault, and I'm taking it out on you. I mean, how you handled him finding out is all on you, but this being an issue in the first place is my fault." Her stomach churned again. "I'm sorry..."

Kingston felt attacked, and in feeling attacked, he felt afraid. He'd always wanted to unleash the inner beast when he was feeling backed into a corner, but the last person he wanted to hurt like that was Astrid.

He began inching towards the door instead.

"I didn't choose for him to have feelings for me! That's not my fault- I always told him I didn't feel that way about him! I _told_ him!!"

Tugging on his dreads, his mind began to race.

"Why are you siding with him!? Why are you buying his bullshit like he and I could have been a thing if you didn't exist?? **Why**!? "

"I'm not saying that you two would have ever _been_ a thing! But the way you let him down, _however it was_ , hurt him enough to send _me_ a letter."

Astrid noticed that he was trying to leave.

"Stuart, wait!" She hugged her arms, hoping he'd take enough pity and stay.

"I'm... I'm not trying to side with him. I just... I feel really _bad_!! I feel like I directly hurt him, made things difficult for both of you in your cell..."

The tears began streaming down her cheeks as her voice shook.

_"I don't know how to fix this!"_

"No! No, all I did was tell him he should have been happy for me! I told him he should have been smarter, I told him- I told him about you so many times! He knew how I felt! He knew!"

A letter? McDonagh had sent her a letter? He suddenly felt the urge to tear his throat out, watching him gurgle and bleed for hurting Astrid, for trying to ruin their relationship.

"You don't HAVE to fix this!! It's not your problem!" Dropping his voice, he narrowed his eyes. "None of this is your problem! It's his and mine!"

He didn't want to see her cry, but he was too agitated to properly console her. He was blindly reaching for the doorknob.

"You can't make me feel bad for what I did!"

Astrid slid down to the floor, a sobbing mess, and hugged her knees as she watched him leave.

She should _never_ have asked him to see her. She should have _never_ have told him she loved him.

She should have _never_ been so selfish.

Back at the cell, McDonagh couldn't even fit in a word before Kingston had pinned him to the wall, violently bashing his head against it before beating his knuckles into McDonagh's face, again and again, until he thought his skin would split.

"You made her cry, you piece of shit, you fucking ruined her because you couldn't keep your stupid feelings to yourself! You motherfucker, I'll kill you!"

The Irishman didn't fight back, merely gritting his teeth as he felt his face swell and bruise. He blinked back tears as the man he loved hit him, screaming at him over trying to set things right.

He could faintly see Hullahaz appear behind Kingston, prying him off as the man dissolved into howling sobs.

Ben had backed up against the wall beside the table, in shock at how Kingston had _unleashed_ on McDonagh. Both of them were crying as he saw Hullahaz get involved, and moving closer once the violence ended, slid off the bed, tended to McDonagh, since Hullahaz was still holding Kingston.

Inspecting his face, he reached for a towel to dab up some of the blood. Turning to face Kingston, he snarled.

"The fuck was that about!?"

McDonagh reached for Ben's arm and held it, shaking his head slowly. "Leave it..."

Kingston continued to cry in Hullahaz's grip, shaking and pointing. "He couldn't keep his _fucking_ heart in check and he went and destroyed my relationship!"

McDonagh closed his eyes, wishing he could sink into the wall and disappear.

Ben moved back as McDonagh told him to do and turned around, kneeling in front of his sobbing cell mate.

"What relationship?? And what do you mean?"

He paused, remembering the flowers.

"You're not talking about Astrid are you? Oh no, Kingston..."

Ben looked back at McDonagh, his heart dropping.

"Oh _no_."

Hullahaz let Kingston go with a harsh look in his eye.

"Now you've gone and done it."

The blonde shook and fell to his knees, eyes red from crying. McDonagh tried to sit up a bit more, but he had no willpower to do so.

"You've put yourself in serious danger, King-"

"I _KNOW_ THAT!" He retorted, looking like he was about to pummel Hullahaz like he had done to McDonagh. The tattooed man's eyes softened. "I know, alright!? It doesn't matter anymore! It's over!"

Ben placed a hand on McDonagh, hoping that the redhead wouldn't flinch away.

Their cell felt so broken. All of them were on the floor, having pried away the two longest-staying cellmates, a relationship that may never heal between them.

Ben looked down at the ground, feeling the pain in the room getting to him, as a low sob rose up in his chest. Gritting his teeth, a few tears dripped down onto the floor, which he tried and failed to hold back.

McDonagh put a tired arm around Ben, trying to rub his back in an act of comfort.

Hullahaz helped Kingston to his feet, patting him on the shoulder as he tried to reassure him. He didn't want to see him cry anymore, and knowing that things had ended so poorly between the two of them made him feel sudden dread that the same might happen to he and Ben.

"I'm sorry," Kingston whispered, and he wasn't even sure who he was addressing it to.

Ben turned into McDonagh's arms, kneeling, and sobbed quietly into him. This situation wasn't about him, and he felt bad crying like this, but he just couldn't stop.

The closer he got to the redhead, the more pain he felt. Of course, he could feel pain coming from Kingston too, a similar pain, but it was weaker since he wasn't in _his_ arms.

His whole body shook. What would happen to the cell? To his family? He loved all of them, and he didn't want to see everything fractured like this.

Hushing Ben gently, he looked up at Kingston wearily. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I just wanted her to know that I want her to take care of you."

The blonde's eyes welled up anew, lip trembling. "I don't need you to- I don't need you to tell her that! I...! I left her crying, I... I need to see her..."

Rubbing his shoulder, Hullahaz shook his head as Kingston repeated those words over and over. "Give it a few days."

Seeing that Ben wasn't lightening up anytime soon, the Irishman began to sing quietly, like he used to do to his sisters.

Ben took deep breaths, listening to McDonagh's voice. His sobs began to subside, and he turned his head to the side, breath still shaking a bit. He hadn't really heard the Irishman's singing voice before, aside from a few choice moments, and it soothed him deeply.

Still working through the last few tears, he leaned his head up a bit and whispered to him.

_"I'm sorry..."_

He ran a hand through Ben's hair as he transitioned from singing to humming, shaking his head slowly. It had been his fault for thinking he could tell Kingston how he felt.

It was also Kingston's fault for misunderstanding the situation, but he supposed it couldn't be helped. Perhaps Astrid had misunderstood too- perhaps they were perfect for each other.

Kingston just stood there, with his unlikely friend rubbing his arm. He'd done this... He'd torn the cell apart.

He'd lost a friend and a lover all in one day.

Ben wanted to try and fix things. He wanted to help things get better. But he didn't know _how_ or even _if_ he could.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around, sitting back against McDonagh and looking up at Kingston.

"So, what now? How do we pick up the pieces?"

"Can we?" Kingston whispered, and the question weighed heavy on all of them.

First it had been Roger, now it was them. Some things just weren't meant to be fixed.

But that didn't feel right. McDonagh certainly didn't want it to end like this, but he knew he'd never be the same unless Kingston left...

Ben sniffled back a few extra tears, sighing.

"I-I know it's selfish of me... but.... I don't want to lose my family. You guys have been the best family I've had in almost ten years." Fumbling with his hands, he looked down.

"I'm scared of what'll happen if... if someone leaves." His hands were shaking more now.

Silence fell over the cell once more, with Hullahaz inching closer to Ben, wanting to fulfill his role of consoling him.

McDonagh was about to say that they'd be fine if he left, as he could just find another cell to terrify, but Kingston spoke before he had the chance.

"Astrid's trying to get me out on account of good behavior."

It took every ounce of strength for Ben to not recoil with "Oh really?? Good behavior??" But he knew better.

"Oh." Ben found it difficult to imagine the cell without Kingston. It made him feel... hollow. Really, he'd feel hollow if any one of them left.

But this was prison, and no one wanted to be here longer than they had to. For Ben to beg him to stay, especially in this situation, would be undeniably selfish, and he was tired of being _selfish_.

"W-when would you get out?"

"I don't know," he whispered, and remembering his idyllic life with Astrid, which now for sure would never come true, he turned around to conceal his tears again.

McDonagh had to hold back a few of his own. Although he was tremendously relieved, and he felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he could feel his heart breaking again.

Hullahaz put a hand on Ben's head and said "Well, least you know I ain't ever gonna leave."

Ben closed his eyes and leaned into Hullahaz's hand.

"Yeah, but _I_ will." The tears were coming back, and he quickly wiped them away.

In that moment, he felt himself being well and truly suffocated by the cell and everyone in it, and standing up, he walked to the door.

"I... I'll be back."

They let him go, even though it was incredibly difficult to be without him. Hullahaz gave Kingston's back a pat before standing up to move back to his bed.

McDonagh took a moment, but he eventually looked into Kingston's eyes. "I didn't want to hurt you."

Crying still, he struggled to reply. "I didn't want to hurt you either, but Astrid..."

McDonagh closed his eyes, shaking his head. "This is on us, pal."

Trembling, Kingston hugged himself.

"I'm glad you're getting out, Jesse," he murmured.

Kingston threw himself into the redhead's arms and wailed.

Ben had made his way to Astrid's office, where he knocked on the door and waited.

There wasn't so much of a reply as a low moan, and opening it, he saw he sitting at her desk, holding a tissue up to her face. She looked over at him and tried to dab away at the tears, avoiding smearing her make up more than she already had.

"Y-you must be Ben Jeong, right?" Nodding in response, Ben closed and locked the door behind him, sitting down slowly at her chair.

"Yeah. Kingston.... Kingston's told me a lot about you." He tried to look up at her, but it was clear she was still very upset, and that made it difficult to maintain eye contact.

"Oh yeah?" Astrid's remark came out a bit more sarcastic, which she didn't intend.

"Yeah. And right now he feels really awful." He put his hands between his knees and looked down at them.

Astrid could only remember what his final words to her were (" _You can't make me feel bad for what I did!_ "), and she coughed a bit as the tears nearly came back.

All she wanted was to make him feel better, but she wanted _him_ to do the same. She wanted to fix the mess she'd created and he'd exacerbated, but she couldn't.

"Why... why did you come see me Ben?" It was an honest question. And one that Ben didn't entirely have an answer for.

"My cell - my family - is really hurting. I don't want us to break apart, but I'm worried that things won't get better unless we do. I mean, not me and Hullahaz, but... well, _them_."

He clenched up his hands.

"McDonagh is hurting because he's dealing with unrequited love. Kingston is hurting because he's lost a close friend, and he probably thinks he lost you too. I'm hurting because of all of this, and Hullahaz is hurting because of all of it too."

Astrid sighed. "Thank you for the reminder, Ben, that I caused all this." Her words were low, and Ben's eyes shot up.

"I'm sorry! I'm just looking for help!" He moved to stand up, but she put out her hand.

"Sorry... I'm... not really in a good place right now to help." Sliding the letter over to him, she said, "Here's what started all of this today. I know it came from a good place, but I focused on the worst parts of it, and here I am... completely fucking up my job..."

Ben reached out to hold her hand, wanting to try and make her feel better, while he read the letter. His heart broke for McDonagh, but he knew where he was coming from.

"I'll... I'll have to find a way to make Kingston understand. For as long as he's in there, I want them to be on decent terms."

Astrid was rubbing his hand with her thumb, trying to comfort herself. Ben slowly stood up, pocketing the letter (he figured she didn't need it lying around).

"And Astrid?" She looked up.

"You still love him, right?" Ben looked down at her, hoping and praying that she'd say yes. Closing her eyes, she smiled.

"Of course. I just... I think he needs some time to deal with everything. And I'm not helping. When he feels better, he should come see me. Then maybe we can talk things out. But yes, I still love him."

This was enough to satisfy Ben, and he walked around her desk, wrapping his arms around her.

" _Everything will be okay, alright Astrid?_ " She giggled.

"Hey, _I'm_ supposed to say that."

After their hug, Ben left for the cell, hoping things would be alright when he returned.

Kingston was finally calming down, and he and McDonagh were quietly restoring what they could of their relationship, with the blonde apologizing for having been so harsh and the redhead apologizing for having feelings, which made Kingston start crying again.

"You shouldn't feel bad for that!"

"Well I can't help it, can I? Not after all of today."

"I should have never punished you for it, I should have understood... I'm just so scared..."

"It'll blow over, just you see. It'll blow over."

He knew things wouldn't be the same between them, but he wanted the man to know he didn't hate him (or, sadly, love him any less) for it.

Hullahaz, although glad they seemed to be working things out- especially for Ben's sake- began to worry when Ben didn't return from wherever he was going.

It wasn't like he could go out and look for him! He hoped whatever it was didn't bring him pain.

Ben walked through the door, happy to see Kingston and McDonagh on slightly better terms.

"Hey guys." Moving closer to Hullahaz, he slipped him the letter McDonagh had written and made sure he knew he'd done it.

"I... went and talked to Astrid. Wanted to clear some things up, get some advice. But first," he looked Kingston in the eyes, "I want _you_ to know that she still loves you. Just give it some time."

He sighed, sitting down on the bed.

"For as long as we're all still here, I just want us to be a family, even if it's a fucked up family. We can find a way to make it work. After all, this is only temporary."

His thoughts went back to Hullahaz. _Well, for most of us_.

Hullahaz didn't want to breach their privacy any further, so even though the letter was now in his pocket, he didn't intend to read it. They had nothing to prove to him; he wasn't here to judge them.

Kingston's eyes filled with panic as he heard that once again people were trying to fix things for him. He was afraid they'd just end up worse.

His eyes softened at Ben's words, though. He'd rather hear it from her, but it really helped.

McDonagh closed his eyes and nodded. He didn't want to show that it would hurt him to lose them when they got out.

Hullahaz was the same. All he could do to hold back his pain was speak. "I know everyone's gonna do their best. After all, they're all still dead afraid of me gettin' mad."

Fortunately, this procured a few weak chuckles.

Ben moved closer to the two men, and he hugged them both.

"Everything will be okay. No matter what happens, all of us will be okay."

It took a lot of strength for him to say it, but it's what he needed to hear - what they ALL needed to hear - and he wanted to try and support them.

If only that were true... but for now, for Ben's sake, they'd believe it.

Picking him up, they headed for Kingston's bed, figuring he'd be the one to mind the least.

After that they just sat in silence.

Ben felt very loved, although he could tell that his words didn't quite reach everyone.

But if in that moment he could pretend they did, then he could at least temporarily feel a bit better. Taking a deep breath, he whispered, " _I love you guys_..."

Nuzzling him, the Irishman was the one to reply, knowing he was the proudest and thus the one who may need to say it the most.

"We love you too."

And that wouldn't change for as long as they were together.

A few, happy tears slipped from Ben's eyes, which he tried to wipe away.

Even if things weren't perfect, nor would they ever be as nice as they were again, Ben still had his family at the end of the day. Funny how back on day one, things were so wildly different. McDonagh and Kingston both wanted his ass, but now here they were holding him, trying to comfort him.

He loved them so much, and his heart swelled as a big smile crossed his lips.

The three men in the cell had grown from Ben's arrival- he had changed them for the better once they'd realized he needed their care and protection.

McDonagh had been reminded of the nights in which he stayed up putting a brave face for his sisters, yet he'd also been taught there was nothing to fear.

Kingston had begun to accept that he didn't have to be Yale material, that people liked him for who he was. He'd also learned that caring for others helped him care for himself.

Hullahaz, of course, had learned that there was absolutely no point in trying to stop being human- that loving people was always a much more rewarding experience.

The tattooed man leaned down to kiss the top of his- _their_ -godsend's head.

Of course, being in prison and meeting them equally helped him. He'd been stuck in a shitty life with zero options and no way out, and after meeting people who cared about him for the first time in, again, almost _ten years_ , as well as getting to spend time improving the few skills he had, he knew he had _hope_.

He hadn't had hope since the last time his sister was still alive.

Looking up at Hullahaz, he gave him the most loving smile he could, mouthing a "thank you."

He smiled fondly at Ben and stroked his hair, nodding slowly, soaking in whatever positivity the moment had. He knew it wouldn't last- he just wanted to pretend that it could.

Kingston gave into his exhaustion, brought on from all the crying, and remained clinging to Ben as he drifted off into sleep. McDonagh couldn't help but give his arm a stroke.

Ben knew the moment he left the bed, McDonagh would be would probably get out too, and then he'd never get another chance to be affectionate to the other man, so he remained there for as long as possible before he wanted to cuddle with Hullahaz.

A pit formed in his stomach as he left Kington's bed, climbing into his husband's.

Looking back over, he really, really hoped things would be okay.

Fortunately, it seemed McDonagh lingered for a moment, stroking Kingston's arm as the man hugged his pillow in the absence of a human.

Hullahaz rubbed Ben's back calmly, not wanting to close his eyes and miss something important.

"You did what you could, babe. It's up to them now."

Ben whispered a quiet "yeah" before closing his eyes, nuzzling his husband and breathing slowly.

" _I love you_...."

After a moment's hesitation, Hullahaz ran his hand down Ben's back.

"Én is szeretlek."

His Hungarian was rusty, but he'd never forgotten that.

Ben didn't speak Hungarian, but he knew that whatever Hullahaz said back was likely equally as sweet, and he felt himself drift off into a nap peacefully.


	11. It's All Gone to Shit

Things appeared to mellow out within the cell, and Kingston began gathering the courage to speak to Astrid again. On the outside, Orozco had risen to cult status due to knocking a guy twice his size out in the shower with little more than a well timed punch.

He kept on cooking, but also greatly enjoyed the attention he received.

Ben was still a bit wary of Orozco, mainly due to the fact he was gaining followers, but he continued eating his food and keeping his head down.

Orozco, therefore, didn't mess with him, but he certainly seemed to be garnering a lot of _male_ attention... Dicks. Dicks everywhere.

The attention did not go unnoticed by Ben, and he felt a wave of _jealousy_ almost. As much as he enjoyed not being a piece of meat, he _did_ like the attention, and he felt pretty bitter.

Hullahaz noticed this change in behavior, and frequently rubbed his back and asked him what was wrong. McDonagh hadn't been oblivious to Orozco's rise to power, either, and he leaned in to whisper to his cellmates.

"He's got a pair of love handles, doesn't he?"

Ben growled a bit.

"Yeah, we all do. What about it?" He dug his nails into his arm, staring at the smaller man with narrowed eyes, fuming.

"Woah, woah, what's up with you? I was going to suggest I give him a shot..." Since Kingston was out of the question, and Ben pretty much was too, McDonagh was eager to find someone else to... drown his sorrows in.

Ben lost his anger for a moment to lean his head back and cackle.

"You think you have a chance with him?? The Hispanic messiah around here?" He reached a hand over to him.

"You'd have a decent shot with any of the other men, but I feel like doing anything with him is like playing with fire. Go for it if you want, but... Be careful."

McDonagh narrowed his eyes, and Kingston swallowed slowly. Not even Hullahaz said anything.

"That's part of the thrill, isn't it? And besides, it's not like he seems to be picky. Sorry you think I'm not _hot_ enough for the guy who gets more cock in here than you, even."

Shaking his head, he picked his tray up and wandered off.

Ben's jaw dropped as he watched the other inmate leave before he turned to face the table again, biting his lip angrily.

He grumbled to himself and broke the skin on his lip, but paid no mind to it.

Kingston reached out to pat Ben's arm. "If it's any consolation, _I_ wouldn't fuck him."

Hullahaz tried to conceal a snort as he put a hand on Ben's back, trying to get him to relax.

Ben shrugged off Kingston's hand.

"Not the fucking point." Instantly regretting getting the other man's hand off of him, he looked up at him with a regretful face, before burying his face in his arms.

"Fuck him, he can go fuck himself."

"Woah, woah, where the hell's all this coming from? I didn't know you cared so much about who McDonagh wanted to screw..."

"Maybe he got addicted to that sturdy Irish cock," Hullahaz joked, but immediately rectified, "no, but really, babe. What's the issue?"

Ben sighed.

"It's stupid, all of it. I know I should be thankful that everyone is throwing themselves at him and not me, but..." Hugging himself, he sat up.

"There was a thrill to it, ya know? And now I just....don't feel... Desirable." Ben looked up at Hullahaz sadly.

"I'm happy with you, but I guess there's some fucked up self-esteem shit I've got going on."

Hullahaz seemed oddly... wounded at the fact. He didn't let it show, relaxing his posture and staring out the window with a soft hum.

"Yeah, maybe."

Kingston looked taken aback by this information, and wasn't quite sure what to do with it. "Try wearing makeup! There's nothing he has that you don't. Except, you know... freaky eyes."

"I don't have any control over who you sleep with, you know," Hullahaz mused.

Ben groaned. "I know, and it's not like I actually _want_ to sleep with anyone outside our cell, I just like feeling desired by everyone. It's stupid, it's selfish, and I hate it."

He gripped his arms tightly, feeling awful about everything he was saying. Of course his words would hurt Hullahaz, and he didn't want them to, but how could he say how he felt without doing so?

"Sorry, I'm not helping anything or anyone." Standing up from the table he began to head outside.

"I just need some time to breathe."

Hullahaz couldn't respond to anything before Ben had gotten up. He hadn't wanted to interrupt, and he didn't want to force him to stay, so he merely nodded. At least now he had time to think.

Kingston almost got up and followed Ben, but he was shot a glare which made him sit back down.

"Right, okay... Well... We'll... Be here! Or in the cell! Hah..."

This was just getting weirder by the day.

Outside, McDonagh was beating the living shit out of something tied to a tree- under closer inspection, it appeared to be a shirt tightly tied together, stuffed with _something_.

Ben was taking deep breaths when he heard the sounds of someone punching something. Searching for the sound, he wandered around until he saw McDonagh beating a shirt punching bag, and carefully making his way over, he said, "Hey."

He whipped around and nearly punched Ben in the jaw, but stopped when he saw who it was. "Oy, be careful. Coulda hurt you."

He turned back around, removing his shirt to feel less constricted as he continued his workout.

Ben jumped back, gasping when McDonagh almost nailed him with his fist, then taking a moment to sigh in relief. He knew that the man wouldn't intentionally hurt him.

"S-sorry, I shoulda spoken up when I was further away." Watching the redhead continue to punch, he sat down in the grass near him, but not too close.

"Why the punching bag? Is it because of earlier? If so, I'm sorry. Just got a lot going on in my head."

"I need to keep working out," he replied curtly, "or my muscles will go soft. Not as many fights as there used to be, dunno if you've noticed."

Running a hand through his hair for a moment, he exhaled.

"What could you _possibly_ have going on? You've got the best prison life out of all of us," he admitted. "Things are looking up for you, and you get out soon."

Ben hugged his arms.

"It's all bullshit, what's going on with me. My fucking self-esteem is tied to how fuckable or desirable I am, apparently, and...I'm _jealous_ , McDonagh, jealous of Orozco." Looking up into the man's eyes, he sighed.

"It's stupid, I've got Hullahaz and I," he paused and lowered his voice, "I love him, but even still, I like being _wanted_ by people. Sexually. Stupid, selfish, stupid..."

After berating himself for a few more seconds, he closed his eyes and held his head a bit.

"You don't need to put up with it though. You should do whatever you want because, honestly, you're entitled to. It doesn't matter if I get pissy, because I don't own your affections or whatever. I'm just... I'm sorry for being an asshole to you. And then dumping all this on you."

McDonagh stopped punching somewhere during Ben's explanation to come sit beside him on the grass. He began to undo the bandages on his hands, talking in an understanding, yet still distanced voice. He was doing his best to be a therapist here.

"Nobody said you aren't wanted anymore, though. That isn't what's happening. Instead, it's that you're not _available_. People know who you're connected to, and therefore leave you alone. And you know how it is in this place, people never ask. They just assume."

Looking up at the sky, he took a deep breath.

"I'd assume Orozco gets off on the attention, too."

Ben lowered his head.

"I guess... I guess that's just it then. Me being unavailable is the issue. But if I make myself available, I'll be in a whole world of trouble. And being with Hullahaz makes me far happier anyway."

He glanced up at the redhead.

"I just didn't realize how much that shit changed for me until it was waved in front of my face."

"It might not help, but... I'm pretty sure that wasn't on Orozco's mind. You know, making you feel bad." Who knew, though? McDonagh didn't know Orozco, or his relationship (or lack thereof) with Ben.

"Maybe don't be, you know. Totally available. Maybe just be... Open." He wasn't sure if that would change anything- the dangers or the men's approach...

Sighing softly, he slouched over.

"I know how that feels."

Ben realized the topic had changed, and suddenly he was brought back to that day in the cell. Scooting close, he leaned against him and closed his eyes.

"Sometimes I wish things could just stay...in stasis. Go back a few months and just...live in that moment while time passes, you know? Before things changed."

The redhead cast him a glance, putting an arm around him. "Me too. But I bet you anything we'd still find some way to fuck it up."

Kingston still hadn't spoken to Astrid, McDonagh had nearly lost him forever, and Hullahaz... Well, he was fine _now_ , but every day they were reminded of how he'd be left behind. And before Ben came, that was a good thing.

"How do we get through this? H-how do we even....end it? How do we....move on? From prison? McDonagh, I'm out in half a year, and... I don't even have a life to go _back_ to really. A life I _want_ to go back to."

Tears were welling up in Ben's eyes, and his voice shook.

"M-my dad... H-he knows when I get out. I ran from him the _day_ I turned 18, and now...now he could find me again. Trap me. _Ensnare_ me in his life. My aunt promised me I could live with her, but I don't think I can move there when I first get out. I-I'll _have_ to go back to my dad."

His cheeks wet, he buried his face in his hands, trying not to show how upset he was (and failing miserably).

"I-I can't just leave you guys! You're the only family I have right now, and when I get out, what, I have to pretend like nothing on the inside mattered? Forget you guys so I can move on? I don't-" Ben cut himself off with a sob, letting his voice drift down to a whisper.

_"I don't know what I'm going to do."_

McDonagh pulled him a little closer. He'd pieced a few things together and figured out Ben's father was just about the worst type of person imaginable, even worse than his own stepfather. He knew he had two years on his sentence still and wouldn't be able to help unless they somehow got the father imprisoned too.

Kingston, though, would probably get out sooner.

"Not if Kingston gets out," he mumbled, "you could find him, live with him until you want to go with your aunt."

But the thought of being without one of them was bad enough. Being without them both was unbearable- yet he wouldn't say.

"I don't know how I'm going to deal with getting out. I can't pretend that I do- I'm just going to have to adapt however I can... But you, you'll be fine. You can write to us if you want."

Ben wrapped an arm around him.

"Y-yeah... I plan on it. Maybe even care packages.... If I have enough money."

They sat there in silence for a few moments before Ben spoke again.

"Why did Hullahaz get life in prison?"

"Don't worry about that. Just knowing you remembered me would be enough for me."

McDonagh looked into Ben's eyes, tilting his head.

"Murder, you know that. He told you, didn't he?" Or did he omit the more _important_ details? With a silly smile, he put on a bit of an accent. "Murder most foul."

Ben increased his grip on McDonagh.

"I could never, _ever_ forget you."

He continued to listen to the redhead talk.

"He told me most of it I think, but....it just seems extreme. His motives, just... It's not like he just had a lust for blood and was like 'oh I'm gonna kill this dude for fun!' And then he's slapped with life in prison! There are people in here with _worse_ crimes, and they have _far_ shorter sentences!! I-it's not fair!!"

Running a hand through Ben's hair, McDonagh couldn't help but laugh quietly. "Murder's generally considered the worst one, Benny."

Scratching the side of his face, he waited to see what to say. He wasn't sure any of the rumors were true, but he knew he couldn't go up to Hullahaz for specifics.

"His motives were just, but the crime scene... Well, it was apparently really something."

Ben's eyes clouded over.

"It was a crime of passion, revenge, and hate. I'm not surprised that it was a nasty spectacle."

Once his vision cleared, he looked around him a bit, admiring the fall weather.

"It's really nice out for late September. I think... This is the first fall I've gotten to really appreciate in years."

"I'm just saying... It makes sense he got life imprisonment. That's all. Even if it doesn't seem fair."

Looking up at the tree above them, he tilted his head.

"Really? Used to stay inside during cold weather? Don't blame you, you're skin and bones."

Ben envisioned some of his fall and winter nights on the streets, and felt the pit grow inside of him.

"I didn't have many warm clothes. Couldn't afford em. Money went to food and...outfits. For work. The last two years I spent my autumn and winters on street corners, trying to avoid frostbite while also trying to look desirable. I didn't...really get to enjoy the seasons all that much. Summer was a blessing... And winter was hell."

"Oh shit, that's right. You poor thing. I forgot what you were in for for a second," he admitted, closing his eyes. "Hard to forget when you really get to know someone."

After a moment's pause, McDonagh inquired, "you won't be returning to that kind of life, right? Despite how you feel now about being wanted?"

Ben bit his lip.

"It's...it's all I know. And now I've got a history in prison, which is gonna come up whenever I look for a job. I was thinking mechanics, but I don't know enough to get hired anywhere I don't think."

He looked up at McDonagh with red eyes. "I don't _want_ to go back to it though. Cuz I'd probably just get into _another_ undercover cop's car and land my ass back in prison again." With a snort, he added, "At least there's a chance I'd see Hullahaz again."

McDonagh rubbed Ben's arm with a sigh. He didn't want to say he may only be able to see Hullahaz in the showers or at lunch if that happened. He didn't want to upset him anymore.

"Why not work at your aunt's bakery? Make it a family business kind of deal. Sounds peaceful to me."

He'd undoubtedly go back to fighting. It was all _he_ knew. Taking deep pity on Ben, he stroked his cheek.

Ben shrugged.

"Maybe. Maybe I'll get the motivation to change my life. Or maybe I'll stay in this rut. The choice is mine."

Leaning back on McDonagh again, he closed his eyes and snuggled up a bit, enjoying being close to someone who cared about him and protected him, as he brought up some of his more suppressed emotions.

"I'm sure you'll come to a conclusion soon. Can't blame you for being unable, though, with all of us assclowns around." He sighed and looked up at his makeshift punching bag.

"I should pack that away before I get in deep shit." He made no effort to move, however.

"I think it might rain soon."

Ben looked up at the bag.

"How'd you make it?"

The promise of rain felt nice.

"Just stole rice from the kitchen and tied the shirt up real tight with some of that blue shitty rope from assembly. Don't remember what it's called. Works pretty well."

Helped tide him over whenever he had no one to fight, too.

Ben nodded as he listened. "Yeah, I suppose it's better than using another inmate." It was clear he was unsure of what to say.

Silence was all that followed until the bell rang, and they were forced to return to their cells. McDonagh had trouble hiding the punching bag, but he stuck to other people as he walked so it wouldn't be seen.

Ben re-entered the cell feeling... Cathartic. Nothing had been inherently gained from spilling to McDonagh, aside from feeling a bit closer to him, and he climbed onto Hullahaz's bed on his stomach and curled up a bit, expressionless.

Hullahaz seemed to be pressed to the very wall of the cell, lying on his side. He was lost in thought, and he was afraid of what would happen if those thoughts came to light. He knew he couldn't keep silent forever.

Taking a deep breath... He said nothing.

Noticing how Hullahaz was faced away from him, Ben turned to the side and placed a gentle hand on him.

"Hullahaz?"

He flinched, eyes widening. He forgot he didn't exist in a bubble. The touch seemed to force the words out of him.

"I've been thinking."

Those words brought a chill to Ben's spine, and the pit from early grew three times in size.

"T-thinking...about what?"

"About... What you said. How you felt. It's my fault." He did his best not to move. "At least in part."

McDonagh tried to keep Kingston from questioning by forcing him to play cards.

Ben moved a little closer.

"Look, y-you're protecting me. I am grateful, I care about you, and I am _happy_ with you. What my fucked up brain wants me to believe about what _should_ make me happy, i.e. being a huge slut, is not what would _actually_ make me happy, _nor_ keep me safe. _None_ of this is your fault."

"I just wonder if-" He seemed to flinch again. "I just wonder if givin' you space would make you happier. Have you... Do what he does. Instead of clingin' to me, havin' you show some skin..."

He closed his eyes tightly.

It was painful for Ben to think about, simply because the idea of showing off more and being further from Hullahaz _excited_ him, but also _terrified_ him.

"But what if... What if instead we just were more open with our sex? I don't have to be truly available, I just want to be _wanted_ , and if I'm out there looking like a sex doll in front of _them_ , despite not being that way for you, then I'll get that attention. And we won't have to be apart, and I won't feel so jealous of him."

He didn't mind that- not really. He wanted whatever would make Ben happy, and if being more sexual in public was the way to do it, then he'd cave. He didn't think it would do much for any other inmate, though.

"But then the focus will be on _us_ , not just you. What if I just... Backed away. Let you have the spotlight. Let you flirt with people."

Dangerous suggestion, but it was nagging at him.

Ben sighed, retracting his hand.

"I....I suppose. But," he looked up at his back, "you're not gonna turn a blind eye right? I'm gonna try not to get myself into stupid situations, but if things go bad....I'm not on my own, am I?"

Ben felt horribly selfish right now, and he didn't even want to be in his own skin. He wished he were someone else.

"No, of course not." Even if he wasn't keen on touching or moving right now, he wouldn't leave Ben on his own if he needed his help. "I ain't like that."

He'd already messed up enough by calling off their arrangement in the past. Had it not been for McDonagh, things wouldn't be right as they were.

He felt sudden respect for the Irishman.

Ben wasn't blind, and he knew that Hullahaz was keeping to himself.

"Alright."

Slowly, Ben began to climb out of bed. Reaching up to his bed, he pulled down the piles of clothes, drawings, and other belongings, setting them on the table, before climbing up onto his cold bunk and curling up.

Kingston called up after him once he retreated to his bunk. "You alright? Wanna play cards?"

McDonagh knew the guy most likely wanted his space, but he was glad the blonde had decided to ask anyway.

He also found it funny that, after all this time, they _still_ played cards.

Ben shrugged.

"I'm fine. You two have fun."

Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind.

Dinner rolled in, and it was pretty much as good as one would expect. Tacos with carnitas, chicken, beef and fresh vegetables.

Shower time, however, was not so great. McDonagh was still going to go ahead and try to seduce Orozco, who had a growing following and was seldom on his own, and Hullahaz and Kingston had showered in the morning- so they were clean (not to mention Hullahaz was still pressed to the wall).

Ben knew this was his moment, with space away from Hullahaz where he could shower and flirt in peace, but he was undeniably terrified.

Making his way down with McDonagh, he could see the smaller man in the showers already, and he looked around to find a decent amount of men present there.

And yet... He found himself scared still.

_This is what I wanted...right?_

McDonagh kept an eye on Ben, but he also wanted to do his own thing. He wanted to get some ass, dammit!

And by _god_ he was going to get it.

Walking over to Orozco, he pushed a few cultists (God, how creepy) aside, leaning into the smaller male, who looked unnaturally relaxed.

"Nice cookin', good lookin'."

Orozco laughed quietly and crossed his arms. "I remember you. You tried to keep the pigs off me on my first day here."

Oh shit, he remembered that?

Ben kept his eyes on McDonagh, wondering how all this would play out.

He felt a burning sensation rise up in his chest, and he realized that his jealous burned _hotter_ at the sight of _McDonagh_ trying to play into the other man's game.

He _hated_ it. And he realized he wanted his cellmate again.

He didn't think Ben would have an issue with it anymore, or else he wouldn't have done it. So far, all they seemed to be doing was holding a conversation...

And then Orozco said something a little _more_ than friendly.

"You're hung like a horse and buff as fuck, why aren't there guys throwing themselves at you every two seconds?"

"Oh, because I punch. Hard."

"Well," Orozco replied, leaning closer to the now-red Irishman, "I bite. Hard."

Ben was gripping his towel, now watching intently at everything that would happen. He wanted to run over and push them far apart, push entire _worlds_ between him, but he wasn't that stupid. His knuckles turned white.

McDonagh laughed nervously, getting up after a moment and excusing himself. Orozco purred after him, asking him if he couldn't handle the heat.

McDonagh replied that perhaps another time. He was feeling nervous with all Orozco's followers staring.

Walking back over to Ben, he sighed.

Ben felt red hot hatred in his chest, which he tried to ignore once he saw his cellmate coming back over. Turning to face the shower, he turned the water on and aggressively scrubbed himself.

"Couldn't do it. He made a cannibal joke and now I feel like I have bugs crawling all over my skin," he admitted, rubbing himself down with another sigh. "Take it easy, there, you're going to break something."

Ben gripped his arms tightly for a moment before resuming his shower. Something inside of him reached for McDonagh, and he quickly realized it _had_ been possessiveness.

Maybe it was the night of the redhead's birthday. Or maybe it was how much the man seemed to care for him. But he didn't want him to feel like _he_ was off limits.

Maybe Ben simply needed more partners. If he were able to keep the sexual interest of both men, then perhaps he'd feel better, and worry less about Orozco.

As the shower was being spent in silence, the redhead couldn't help but slowly turn his eyes back to Orozco, mainly to see if he wasn't planning his assassination.

No, he was simply getting a massage. Lying on his stomach, with his ass in the air. And a blissful expression.

Jesus God.

How could _he_ get a cult following?

Ben finished up his shower in a hurry and got dressed, heading up to the cell without so much as a word to his cellmate.

He hoped that Hullahaz was in the cell alone.

Being given the cold shoulder without knowing entirely why made him mad. It made him _mad_ enough to waltz right over to Orozco, get over his fears, and get at least a kiss on the lips before showertime was over.

Maybe a little more.

Kingston was out doing laundry, so Hullahaz really was the only one in the cell.

Ben tossed his towel on a chair and sat down on Kingston's bed. His feet had only increased their pace on the way up, as he went from mad to _panicked_.

"H-Hullahaz? I uh, I don't know about this. I was in the shower with McDonagh, and he went over... And... I wanted to throw myself between them, scream at Orozco to stay away from him- a-am I selfish? Am I a horrible person? Am I toying you along like a huge asshole?" His words were just as fast as his feet, and he felt his body shake.

Hullahaz turned over slowly, eyes half-closed as he looked into Ben's eyes as best he could. "I have no idea what the fuck you're talkin' about."

It took him a moment to process everything. "So you don't like McDonagh flirtin' with other men. Okay. Wouldn't say entirely selfish, just means you got feelings for the guy." He took an uncomfortable pause. "Don't think you're a horrible person, I know you don't trust the guy."

The third question wasn't something he wanted to answer. "...Are you?"

Ben held his head in his hands and whined as he felt tears coming on.

"Now I do!! The moment I opened my stupid fucking mouth about my jealousy, I had fucked up. I made you feel awful I'm sure." He paused and looked up at him.

"That's...that's what this has all been about! You hiding in your bed!" He pulled down hard on his hair and screamed.

"I knew it!! I fucking hurt you again!" Standing up in a hurry, he slammed his fists on his bed and screamed again, placing his head on the side of the mattress.

"I'm sorry Hullahaz!!" His words were muddy with his wails, but he couldn't help the overwhelming pain he felt, and his anger at _himself_.

"H-how am I going to fix this? What is wrong with me? What about McDonagh?"

"Hey, hey-" Hullahaz began to stress out, and when he stressed out he lost sight of himself. He began to sit up, wanting to make his way to the other bunk. "I just needed space, okay? I need space sometimes. I can't be a cuddle machine twenty four seven. I got limits."

Frowning, he stood up. "Don't- don't beat yourself up over-" It was too late to say that. Ben was already in full panic mode and he wasn't sure what to do.

"I'm _not hurt_. I'm fine. You got needs and I can't get in the way of that. I don't wanna get in the way of that."

He just felt like he wasn't enough, despite being top dog and opening up to Ben and protecting him from harm and letting him **see** -

"What _about_ McDonagh?" He whispered. "What do you need to fix?"

Ben slid his hands down to his arms and crossed them, hugging himself.

"I just feel like I've done something _wrong_. Bad even. I don't like myself or how I feel. How I'm treating those around me." He looked down at Hullahaz, dead in the eye.

"My needs? I like feeling wanted by many. I _am_ jealous of Orozco for having a following of people, many of whom would do any number of dirty deeds for him just for a _taste_. I'm a guy who made his _living_ off that kind of fantasy. And him? He went and actually _did it_. I can't compete with him, and the more I try, the more I burn down the bridges around me." Stepping back, he leaned against the bunk opposite his cellmate.

"I love McDonagh, obviously. I don't want him to go to the sexy Kingpin of prison to get his rocks off though, a man who wouldn't even give him a second _thought_. I care about him, and he deserves better than that. So when I got pissed off at him in the showers, it's because I hated seeing someone I care about looking for a cheap thrill with a man who will move on when it's done."

With a snort, he added, "Guess that makes me the king of all hypocrites. I'm sure many people who were dating the people who fucked me when I was out on the streets felt the same way."

Sitting beside him, Hullahaz weighed his words and debated whether or not to speak them. But he knew silence wouldn't help the situation in the slightest.

"What do you want to do about it? You can't get rid of Orozco. He seems to be the main problem, but he ain't gonna disappear overnight. The reason people go wild for him is 'cause they think he has superpowers. I mean, look around you, Ben. Look at this place. People need **hope**. If it's in the form of a demonic looking Mexican man with good cookin', then so be it. A buncha those people were religious before, and they were let down by their God. A lotta 'em have families, too. They got nothin' in here."

Shrugging, he continued without much pause. "He may not give the people he screws that emotional connection, but they don't need it. They just need to believe in somethin'. They just _need_ that gap filled. McDonagh? He's got a gap to fill too- no dirty joke intended."

He looked down at the bed they were sitting on.

"I know none of this helps. I just dunno why you wanna compete with him. You don't need to. He sticks to his group, you stick to yours. As I said, McDonagh just wants an easy screw. He's not gonna try to make Orozco his new Kingston."

Ben lowered his voice and leaned against the other man, head down.

"You're right. I’m just...I'm just being stupid. Emotional. I just want to feel _better_ about things. I wanna know what I can do to make myself feel better. I don't think it's to flirt with a bunch of other inmates, I don't think it's trying to micromanage McDonagh, I just don't _know_."

As he sat there, Ben looked over at his husband.

"But I do know one thing that always makes me feel a little bit better at least." He swallowed nervously.

"C-can I hug you?"

"The more you seem to antagonize McDonagh for his decisions, the more he'll come to resent you. He loves you a lot, and he trusts you, and if you don't give him a clear message he's just gonna assume the worst."

Hullahaz wished he were enough. He really did. But the world didn't work that way.

"You gotta make peace with yourself, try and find another way to feel good. I dunno, maybe start your own cult. Maybe start a club. I don't know."

Feeling useless enough as it was, he figured he wouldn't speak any more unless it was required. Without words, he put his arms around Ben and brought him close.

Ben closed his eyes and enjoyed the hug thoroughly, but in the end, he _still_ felt guilty about things. He needed to tell McDonagh how he felt, find something in that to help him, and then he could work on no longer comparing himself to Orozco.

"Thank you...Hullahaz... I mean it. I'm sorry I've put you through all my bullshit, but you're the one honest voice I have to listen to that I trust." Tilting his head up, he finished with, "And I'm sorry if I've made you feel bad at all. You know, with the whole 'wanting more people' thing. Even thinking it makes me feel awful, and I can't imagine how it makes you feel."

Rubbing his back, Hullahaz tried not to lock himself in his own mind. He knew Ben had needs and he knew he couldn't meet them all. In a way, he loved more than one person too, even though he didn't want to. And Ben had never really been monogamous to begin with- there had been Roger... He supposed it was different when Ben thought of bringing in total strangers simply because the limelight was falling on someone else.

Sighing deeply, he shook his head. "Don't worry 'bout me."

He couldn't think of anything else to say in response to Ben's apology- that seemed like the safest option.

He was about to call it a night when McDonagh returned. Kingston was still busy crying into laundry.

"I _do_ worry about you. I _love_ you alright?"

Before he could say more though, he watched McDonagh enter the room, and he stood up to meet him.

"I...we-we should probably talk..." His voice was low.

Hullahaz silently moved away back to his own bed, wanting to give them space. He remained alert, however.

McDonagh raised an eyebrow, looking oddly at Ben. He seemed less agitated than he had been.

"About _what_? "

"About, well... How I acted earlier. And...earlier-earlier too." Ben absentmindedly scratched his arm, not meeting McDonagh's eyes.

McDonagh exhaled through his nose, starting to undo his uniform. "Well, you might want to make it quick, I'm about to head to bed. I'm feeling pretty tired out."

Ben had a few thoughts as to why, but he pushed them out of his head so he could speak without getting worked up.

"I...I think I might be in love with you." His eyes shut and he gritted his teeth, horrified over how it might end.

Hullahaz felt a pang inside no matter how hard he tried to prevent it, but he watched on calmly.

McDonagh, however, let out a bitter laugh. "Oh, I'm sure. Who else? Kingston too?" Closing his eyes, he began to climb up his ladder. "Save it, please. It doesn't matter anymore."

Ben shrunk back, tears clouding up his eyes.

"I-I just... Wanted to clear the air...I guess."

For the first time since he'd arrived, Ben felt a dark, harrowing feeling in the very pit of his stomach. It made him tremble, it made him weak, and it made him want to run.

He felt like he'd lost his family.

"Well it didn't work, did it?" He came back down, the feelings he thought he'd left behind in the shower coming back. "You breathe down my back when I want to get laid like it actually _matters_ to you how I feel, and then you try and justify that with saying you're in love with me?"

Hullahaz began to speak up, but to his shock, the redhead cut him off.

"And what about this guy then, huh? You just pulling him along for a laugh? If it's me you're in love with, why didn't you let me _really_ be your husband?"

The tattooed man was losing confidence, and he was losing control. He wasn't sure what to say.

Ben backed up, speechless.

His eyes glazed over and drifted to the floor, and he felt his legs growing weak.

"I...I.........I don't have any excuses to give. I'm just horribly selfish, and I've got issues. And I'm sorry I've dragged you both into it." His voice was monotone and conveyed no emotion whatsoever.

Hullahaz reached out to hold Ben, trying to pull him into his lap. He was glaring at McDonagh, who glared back, because they both knew he had the right to be upset and doubt Ben's words, if he wanted to.

"You're damn right you're selfish. The only reason you care about me now is because you want to be better than Orozco."

It looked like he might start crying, his green eyes shimmering. After today, and after all that had come before that, he thought he'd finally be able to trust Ben. Now he just felt betrayed, and he couldn't explain why.

"And you couldn't have said this back when _I_ loved you."

"That's enough, McDonagh."

"No, you're right. I'm done." He wanted to go to the courtyard and stay there, but he knew he couldn't leave.

Ben felt himself get pulled into Hullahaz's lap and he felt his head going fuzzy.

He began whispering the words "I'm sorry" to himself, over and over, and occasionally murmuring the words "you don't deserve this."

His mental state was slipping. He felt _awful_ and he was emotionally overwhelmed. Sensory overload.

"I'm here for you, babe," he whispered, holding Ben close and rocking him back and forth. "I'm here. I'm here."

McDonagh was unaware of how much hurt he'd caused, as he was only aware of the pain he was in, and he hated it, but he'd begun to cry. He felt so **weak**.

All Hullahaz knew was that if things escalated, he'd become aggressive towards the Irishman.

Ben closed his eyes, feeling himself fading, and turned inward into Hullahaz's chest.

_A little break....._

His final words before he momentarily went under were "I'm sorry."

Cradling Ben and kissing the top of his head, Hullahaz looked up at the top bunk.

"I swear if you've fucked him up, I'll kill you."

His words were merely answered with a ragged sigh.

Ben woke up in Hullahaz's arms, feeling weak with bleary eyes. The energy in the room was still toxic to him, and he felt like dirt. And once Kingston would arrive he'd only feel worse. Whimpering, he cowered closer wanting to be as close to the other man as possible.

Hullahaz leaned back a bit so Ben would feel more supported, and frankly, when Kingston returned, everything that followed was a blur.

"Again? I leave for a few hours and everything falls apart..."

"Not now..."

"...look what you've done..."

"...didn't mean to..."

"...Are you... crying?"

Ben only heard snippets of the conversation, as his head was still spinning, and he clung to his husband almost for dear life in the sea of emotions he felt.

" _Please_...."

Hullahaz looked down at him and became more alert, moving to sit up a bit again. "What is it?"

He spoke in whispers, letting the other two talk out their problems in a separate bubble.

His voice went higher pitched.

" _Get me out of here...please_...."

"I can't," he whispered, stroking Ben's face. "I would, in a heartbeat, but I can't... You'll be out soon, just hold on a little longer..."

" _The bathroom_...." Ben wanted nothing more than to be out of the room.

" _Get a guard_...."

Hullahaz looked down and, after a moment, clicked the button around his ankle.

The beep made Kingston turn around. "Oh, shit, you're awake! I-"

He was silenced with a harsh movement from Hullahaz's hand.

Ben's head felt heavy again and he huddled himself in tightly to Hullahaz.

" _T-thank you_..."

The guard who arrived questioned Hullahaz on why he was carrying his cellmate, to which he responded that he was too weak to go to the bathroom himself.

No objection could be made once he bore his eyes into the guard.

Once in the bathroom, he lay Ben down on a bench carefully.

Ben still grasped Hullahaz's shirt and kept him close, looking into his eyes as his focus came back.

As well as the pain. His body couldn't handle the overload, and to protect itself, made him almost catatonic. Now that he was away from the source of it, his clarity was coming back.

His voice shook, and he was still whispering.

" _D-did I break our family_?" Ben closed his eyes in anticipation.

"No, baby," he murmured, putting a hand on Ben's forehead to brush the hair out of his eyes. "You didn't break it. It's kinda crackin' here and there, but it ain't nothin' that can't be fixed."

Sitting on the bench, he took one of Ben's hands in his own.

"There's all these different factors. Kingston's not been able to tell Astrid he's sorry, and he and McDonagh are still ridin' the high of their reconciliation- which was mainly for your sake, 'cause they care about you. McDonagh's just scared. He lost someone before and he don't wanna lose you too, and he feels shit is real complicated to begin with."

He wasn't used to talking so much, even now. It was wearing him down.

"I'm just tryin' to come to terms with the fact I'll never see you again. That's all."

Ben was listening through all of it nodding through the tears, but at the mention of Hullahaz's fears, he sat up as best he could and pulled him close.

"I don't wanna leave you!! I _need_ you.... I love you..." Sniffling back some tears, he looked into his husband's eyes.

"I've made some _horrible_ decisions lately, and I've hurt you, and I feel like shit because I wanna make it right... And when I _do_ get out, I'm just gonna miss you... You're... _everything_ to me." His eyes closed as he spoke the final sentence.

As Ben spoke, Hullahaz stroked his cheek, wiping away his tears with his thumb. He hated seeing him so sad.

"But you can't stay here with me. You gotta go back out, you gotta _live_... This ain't no place for you, you don't deserve to be stuck in here."

Each time Ben told him he loved him, he felt both pain and joy at the same time. The reason he could never bring himself to say it back was not because he didn't feel the same, but because he feared it would just make everything all the more impossible to deal with when the day came.

But it didn't matter now. Ben needed him. Cupping his face, Hullahaz leaned down to give him a long, tender kiss.

"I love you, too."

Ben relaxed into his hand and smiled a bit, his tears drying.

" _Thank you_..."

He knew they didn't have much time before they had to go back to their cell, and although Ben was nervous, he felt better having talked things out privately with Hullahaz. As he was slowly walking back, he leaned on his husband.

"I don't have to sleep in my own bed tonight do I?"

Hullahaz shook his head and, upon arriving at the cell, he silently pulled Ben into bed with him, covering him with the blanket.

"It's gonna be okay," he whispered. It was odd, a heavily pierced man with every inch of his body tattooed, comforting someone in such a gentle and sincere way.

Kingston was reading quietly, and McDonagh had finally given into exhaustion, but upon realizing the other two were going to bed, the blonde looked over.

"G'night. Hope you feel better."

"Thanks Kingston."

Closing his eyes, Ben nuzzled himself into his husband's neck and kissed him gently, thanking him again for being there to support him, even after Ben had treated him poorly.

_I guess that's what couples do...they look out for each other._

Hullahaz gently reminded him that he hadn't done anything wrong before wrapping himself around Ben more tightly in order to get better sleep. It was getting colder and colder, and he needed as much warmth as he could get.

Hopefully tomorrow everyone would act like they had some sense.

Hopefully whatever had to be resolved would at least be talked out.

Ben woke up in the morning, shivering. Their block's radiators had broken down, and the abnormally cold weather had only made everything worse on the building. Sticking close to his husband, he tried not to put his cold feet against him.

"F-F-F-fuck... W-why is it so c-cold??"

Being woken up by the cold air, Hullahaz leaned up a bit- instantly regretting it. Ducking back under the blanket, he held Ben closer to him, breathing on him to keep him warm.

"Motherfuckers... Bet they're gonna ask one of the inmates to fix the heat."

He knew the blanket on Ben's bed would help at least a little, but he didn't want to get up and grab it. Catching a glimpse of Kingston, he could see the man was absolutely miserable from the cold.

Ben rolled over, sticking close to Hullahaz, but wanting to look over at his other cell mates.

"Kingston, are you okay?" He didn't get acknowledge McDonagh, but then again, Kingston was easier to see, and it was clear he was shivering.

"No," he whined, teeth chattering. "I feel like I'm-g-g-g-gonna die."

Hullahaz would suggest that he join them, but wouldn't it get a little crowded? ... Did it matter? They were all freezing.

McDonagh said nothing.

Ben reached an arm out and waved at him to join them.

"Please, don't suffer alone. But please, grab my blanket when you come over."

As much as it pained him to say, Ben followed up with, "You can too, McDonagh, if you want to."

Kingston tiptoed out of bed, dragging his blanket with him, and with some level of difficulty he managed to pull the blanket off Ben's bed as well, shakily creeping into Hullahaz's bed.

"Why would I?" McDonagh answered hoarsely. "Hullahaz said he'd kill me."

"Can you just get your ass over here, you fuckin' reprobate?"

Ben wrapped his arms and legs around Kingston, holding him close to try and warm up the man's freezing skin.

"Hope you start feeling better soon..."

Kingston gained a healthy blush from the interaction, and it helped warm his body up. He couldn't help but wonder, though, what would happen to anyone else in the building.

"Most cells don't get along like we do... Are they just going to freeze?"

Hullahaz chuckled to himself, pressing into Ben's back.

McDonagh slowly made his way down the ladder.

Ben pulled back part of the blankets (but not before tucking up his legs) to allow McDonagh to join them.

"Yeah, they probably do."

The Irishman refused to make eye contact with them at first, turning his back to them as he trembled, though considerably less than Kingston.

He wanted them to forget him.

The silence among them was palpable, and Ben decided to break it, which was probably a poor idea.

"I'm sorry. About yesterday. I didn't...really get to properly apologize for it."

Hullahaz rolled his eyes and murmured that his bed was going to break. Kingston felt incredibly awkward being between two men who seemed to have issues to talk about...

"Doesn't matter."

"It does to me! I was so hurtful to you...and although I don't know how to make it right, I'm at least trying to start with an apology." He could feel Kingston tensing up and spoke softly to him.

"Sorry... We don't have to keep talking about it, I just needed to get it off my chest before it suffocates me."

Kingston's eyes turned to Ben, and with a blush still present, he shook his head. "Oh, no, don't mind me! I'm just trying to survive the cold. Nothing more."

"You should talk to Astrid," Hullahaz suggested.

"Man... Why do you have to do that?" He whispered, just as McDonagh began to turn around.

"But what does it _matter_ if it can't be fixed? I don't know what you want from me."

Ben coughed a bit.

"It matters because at the end of the day, I still care about you, like I do this whole cell. Romantic love aside... If it's a bother.

"I mean, I want what I want from _all_ of you, continued love and support. I don't want the fracture to worsen. Even if it is."

"Well, I mean, I'm not gonna let you down, but I'm not gonna sle-" Hullahaz quickly reached over and clamped a hand on Kingston's mouth. He whined.

"What is with you...? What gives you the idea that you have romantic feelings for me?" McDonagh's eyes seemed confused, afraid.

Hullahaz could feel his heart begin to strain again, but he kept himself calm, as usual. He would love and support Ben no matter what.

"I-I dunno, just, caring about you, wanting to stick with you when you're out, be around you for a long time... Wanting to make you feel better physically and emotionally. I mean, I'm closer to Hullahaz in all those ways, and that's fine, I just know I feel all those ways about you too... For a while now too."

He knew how it must be for Hullahaz to hear him say those, but he looked back over at his husband, pleading for him to understand so he could try and make things right in the cell.

Ben wasn't lying, not by a long shot, but he _would_ put Hullahaz before him any day.

"If it makes you uncomfortable," he was still speaking to McDonagh, "I can just... Find a way to let it go. Your feelings are more important than me 'getting my way' or whatever."

Hullahaz closed his eyes slowly. It was all he could do to keep from giving in to his fearful thoughts. He began to turn onto his back, trying to pull the blankets up more. It was damn cold.

He couldn't help but feel that Kingston and Ben should switch places.

McDonagh listened intently, not saying anything for a good while until he had processed all Ben had said. Knowing Kingston was too busy trying to keep warm, he whispered.

"I can't lose anyone else."

Ben reached to touch McDonagh with his leg.

"I know... which is why I don't want to force any of my feelings on you. If something happened, I wouldn't want you to go through that again..."

His voice got lower and he sighed.

"You don't have to reciprocate, and like I said, I can... get over my feelings so we're just a bunch of people who happen to care about each other. I just needed to be honest with you so we can.... work through it. Because I've treated you badly lately and it's not fair... I'm sorry."

Hullahaz could feel the pit in his stomach grow, and Kingston's cheeks continued to redden as he remained sandwiched between the interaction. McDonagh's eyes softened again, and he nodded slowly to show he understood.

He wouldn't say anything now, though. It wasn't the right place to do so- he'd learned to read Hullahaz's energy, and he knew the man was feeling some sort of pain.

"You're a kind lad."

"W-well... thank you. Maybe I can try to be that way more often from now on."

Ben sighed, relieved that things were simmering down. However, aside from Kingston's blushing, he could still feel some negativity, and it seemed to be originating from his _husband_.

He silently pleaded.

_Forgive me for feeling the way I do._

Hullahaz spoke up, wanting to push past what he was feeling. "Kingston."

"Yes!" The blonde jumped, his teeth clacking harder for a second.

"You gotta talk to Astrid," he smiled, and Kingston's face fell.

"I knooooow, but I can't now! It's too cold to move!"

"Bet the showers are like ice, too," the redhead muttered.

Ben smirked. "But Kingston, think of how _warm_ you'll be if you go see her!" He couldn't help but tease his cellmate.

"Well, it's a good thing we showered last night then, right?"

"Hey, hey! Don't talk about my sex life! To some, that stuff's private" Kingston retorted, looking offended. Hullahaz smacked his arm lightly.

McDonagh groaned. "But if they don't fix it by tomorrow, we'll have to fucking wait to be clean."

And have shower sex.

Ben nodded. "Right, true. Also sleeping's gonna be a bitch if we don't get like some extra blankets if the heat isn't fixed."

After a moment of silence, he turned to Hullahaz and spoke softly so the others couldn't hear.

"So is sex with the other cellmates still okay? I know it's horrible timing, I just, if anything were to happen sexually ONLY, would it be upsetting? Has that changed at all?"

Hullahaz felt the sudden urge to slash Ben open with his talons, and it both terrified and sickened him. How could he think such a thing? Maybe the timing really _was_ bad...

"Of course," he replied calmly, "that never changed."

McDonagh seemed to be teasing Kingston over his inability to go fix things with his girlfriend. Kingston told him he should be worried about fixing the heat instead.

Ben nodded, still unconvinced that Hullahaz was okay, but turned back around to face forward again. Closing his eyes, he didn't smile, but he didn't frown. Things felt... alright, but not okay.

But at least they weren't bad.

....right?

Four blankets and four people huddled together was alright, but it wasn't helping anyone's hunger.

McDonagh sighed and sacrificed his warmth to make tea for everyone, as well as giving them whatever snacks were left in the locker.

Ben was thankful for the tea and food, knowing he'd be satisfied until lunch. Now way in _hell_ was he going to get up when it was so cold in the cell.

"Thanks McDonagh..."

He nodded and sat down, with Kingston sitting up. Hullahaz was tempted to click his button and ask a guard what was going on...

"Should I call someone here to see what's up?"

"Ooh, shit, good idea..."

Ben felt himself being pushed around a bit by all the sitting up, and he pulled one of the blankets around him, trying to keep himself warm.

As the skinniest member of the cell, he got cold a lot faster than the others, and even when the cell was comfortable, even if a bit drafty, Ben was usually shivering a bit.

The beeper went off, and Hullahaz slowly put an arm around Ben, trying to offer him warmth. Whatever he felt inside, he had to look after Ben.

Once the guard arrived, he expressed unamusement at being summoned in this cold.

"Heat's busted."

"No shit."

"The repairmen haven't called back," he replied nervously. "I don't know if it'll be fixed until tomorrow."

Ben groaned, feeling a bit better in Hullahaz's arms, but not entirely.

"Well... fuck. What are we gonna do in the mean time to keep warm? Are there gonna be extra blankets?"

"'Fraid not, kid. Not enough blankets for every cell. I _think_ they're talking about requesting someone from assembly to do it..."

"Hey, Ben, you're in assembly!" Kingston chirped.

Hullahaz began to sit up more. "I'll do it."

The guard looked taken aback. "I don't know if they'll let-"

"I'm a handyman. I'll get it done."

Ben eyes lit up for a moment, but hearing Hullahaz announce that he was going to take care of it made him feel... pretty _bad_. Even if he would be completely lost.

"R-right."

It just felt nice to be appreciated for the first time for something involving mechanics and not sex.

"Good luck."

Honestly, Hullahaz just wanted to get out of the cell. He wanted to be alone with his own thoughts, and keeping his hands busy would soothe him.

Climbing over Ben, he slid off his bed.

"Blondie, you come too," the guard announced. Hullahaz's face fell.

"Me? Wh-"

"Safety in numbers."

Signing, Kingston crawled out of bed looking miserable as ever.

Ben soon found himself alone in the cell with McDonagh, and he finished nibbling on an old bag of chips while wrapped up in three of the blankets.

He said nothing, but he watched the redhead.

His green eyes slowly trailed down to Ben, as being watched was a feeling he'd come to recognize. Holding the mug in his hands, he struggled to stay still.

"What?"

Ben glanced down, feeling embarrassed that he was noticed.

"Nothing. Nothing really. Just a bit cold." With a sigh, his eyes trailed back up. "You okay?"

"Dunno. Can't say for sure." He was being honest at least. "It was nice being all cuddled up, though."

Still hoped they fixed the heat.

Ben pulled back the blankets a bit, inviting the man to join him.

"Even in all these blankets, I'm still freezing. Would you mind coming back over? I promise I won't put my cold feet on you."

Smiling slightly, he put his mug aside to lie back down. "I'm still miffed, you know. I feel like I'm being tossed around like a football."

Despite his words, his tone remained neutral.

"Kingston and his attitude, you fooling around with everyone but me until suddenly my birthday rolled around, Hullahaz and his attitude, me protecting you yet not putting on a show for the others to back off, the whole thing with Orozco... I don't know how I feel."

Ben sighed, moving a bit closer to his cellmate.

"I don't blame you. Honestly, the reason I didn't approach you was that I didn't really know _how_ I wanted to do it. Even though Hullahaz is fine with me doing things with you guys, I was still nervous to try, and the time I sucked off Kingston was a spontaneous morning before things really... got serious I guess. I didn't see him then the way I do now.

"I felt bad though, because I _did_ want to fool around with you, so I wanted to make it up to you by giving you an awesome birthday."

Shuffling around, he fiddled with his fingers that held his blanket.

"A lot of this is just me being... I dunno. Full of issues. I fall in love with multiple people at once, it fucks things up. I tried it with Roger and Hullahaz and obviously _that_ didn't work out. Then after that night with your birthday, I just... felt a lot closer to you. Felt like _you_ cared even more about me. I couldn't help but start forming feelings."

He bit his lip.

"And then with Hullahaz, I just... I wind up dragging him through all this. He's protecting me, but we both formed an emotional attachment to each other. I just seem to keep abusing it. I'd break things off for _his_ sake if not for the fact I'd be putting myself in very real _physical_ danger if I did so. And I have to be selfish in that respect. Since this IS prison.

"Sorry, I know that me saying all of this just makes me sound like even worse of a person than I've already been acting like."

McDonagh snorted and shook his head. "At least I don't feel like Roger's replacement anymore."

He wished it had been as easy for him to give up on Kingston as it had been for Ben, but then again he and the blonde had shared a lot more. He couldn't get over that overnight.

"Honestly, I've never seen Hullahaz be as lenient or patient with anyone else. He obviously cares about you, but I do worry about how he processes this shit. After Laney-"

He shook his head, knowing he should have kept quiet. Leaning down to kiss Ben on the forehead, he closed his eyes. 

"I guess I should be grateful someone feels anything for me at all."

Ben froze, taken off-guard by the mention of someone _else_ who Hullahaz had been involved with, but he didn't want to ask. For a number of reasons.

The kiss also helped him feel better, but only a bit.

Leaning against McDonagh, he closed his eyes.

"You're a good guy, and you care a lot, even if you hide it from most people. You absolutely deserve to be loved. And lusted after." He slid a hand to his cellmate's chest and smiled, resting it there.

McDonagh raised an eyebrow playfully and put a hand over Ben's.

"Oh, do I? Even after the fuss _some people_ make when people share actual interest in me?"

He chuckled and shook his head.

"You learn to care after people once you're stuck rearing two little girls."

Ben nuzzled his head close.

"I don't really care who you fuck so long as I can still be one of them. I think that'll make me feel better. I mean, unless you wind up getting into a monogamous relationship, but if you're out there trying people out, just... don't forget about me? Because I still care about you. And your orgasm."

He felt a blush creeping upon his face. "You could've said that from the beginning. It would have spared me a lot of tears."

It felt weird to admit he had cried.

"I just wanted something to feel right again."

Ben wrapped his arms around him more tightly as McDonagh continued.

"Sisters?"

Nodding, he put his arm around Ben.

"Ciara and Orla. Little devils, they were. But then _he_ arrived, and the life was just sucked out of them."

"Sorry, I should have been more upfront. But... at least we cleared it up now, right?"

Ben stroked McDonagh's jaw gently, doing so even more carefully once he spoke again.

"They sound nice.... although this other person does not. Who is he?" Ben paused. "If it's alright to ask."

The caress made his eyes close, and for a moment he could pretend he was somewhere other than prison.

"Right..."

He sighed, opening his eyes again, green seeming more vibrant in his anger.

"My stepfather."

Ben immediately felt his chest tighten up. "O-oh....."

He stopped stroking McDonagh and moved to hold him tighter.

"I'm sorry..."

It seemed the two of them shared a poor relationship with their fathers. Or at least, father/stepfather.

"Can you believe they're still together after all he did to us? I love me mam," somehow when he said it, his accent changed, "but I don't know why. She was a terrible mother."

Reaching for Ben's hand, he brought it back up to his face.

"I don't want to think about it now. I ruined his business, that's all that I can hold on to."

The pieces were starting to fall into place with the man he'd been sharing a cell with for all these months.

"Yeah... I'd hold onto it. It's more than I can say for my own dad. Well, aside from the fact he's probably been exiled by the family. I can thank my aunt for that."

Feeling his hand return to McDonagh's face, he pulled himself closer to his head and gently rubbed him with his thumb.

"A little bit of hope for justice, for both of us."

"You don't need to go with him when you get out. You don't even need to see him. Hell, if there's any proof of what he did, he'll be in here right after you get out."

McDonagh breathed softly, letting his hand trail down Ben's arm.

"Small comfort, but it'll have to do," he murmured, face inching closer to Ben's.

Ben felt his body warm up, and he smiled softly at McDonagh.

"Yeah... it's the little things, right?" He was slowly pulling the man's lips closer to his own, with his eyelids drooping just a bit.

His hand now securely on Ben's shoulder, the redhead figured there was no point in wallowing in the past. His sisters had gone into foster care, he'd heard, and that wretched man and his ghastly mother were now struggling to survive. It was good enough for him.

Tilting his head just a tad, he gave Ben a slow kiss, soft as a cloud.

Ben's eyes closed as they kissed, not pushing into it too hard. He wanted to savor the moment, feeling warm and happy and _safe_ beside the other man.

He loved Hullahaz very, very much, but he of course knew how strong his feelings were for McDonagh. How _badly_ he wanted to care for him as well. But these kinds of things don't work out. Not for Ben.

But still.... he wanted to live in the moment. Because right then, the only thing that mattered was him and McDonagh.

McDonagh's hands slid down to Ben's waist, pulling the much thinner man onto him, knowing moments like these would be few and far between. He needed to make the most of them.

He had the feeling by the time he got out, Ben would have moved on with his life enough to not need the redhead in it.

He found himself kissing with just a little more force.

Ben rested on top of McDonagh and held his head as they kissed. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that they were doing this on Hullahaz's bed, but so long as it didn't escalate to sex, he didn't think it would be the end of the world.

Pushing into the kiss, a happy small sigh escaped his lips.

McDonagh's hands inevitably landed on Ben's ass, giving it a tender squeeze as he chuckled into the kiss. Frankly, he could care less where this happened, as long as it happened. It wouldn't instantly cure him of Kingston, of course, but it would heal him gradually.

Ben whimpered a bit, pressing into him more. Being so intimate with the redheaded man had a way of exciting him, and he could feel an erection growing, much to his disappointment. At any other time he'd be thrilled, but right now he _didn't_ want to give off the vibes that he wanted sex.

It's not that he didn't, he just wanted to focus more on intimacy.

McDonagh took notice of this, and gave Ben a little subtle rub with his leg. He didn't want to force anything- merely acknowledge the situation. His mouth began to trail down Ben's neck, kissing his skin while also breathing on it to keep him warm.

Sex or no sex, he was obviously having a good time.

Ben stretched his head back a bit to give his cellmate more room to kiss him, and with his eyes still closed, he softly moaned, running his fingers through the other's ginger hair, breathing heavily.

"Nng...."

McDonagh brought him closer, practically burying his face against Ben's neck, his hand running through the younger man's dark hair. He always managed to smell so good... He could feel his own erection begin to grow. He wouldn't act upon it, though, not unless it was asked of him.

His kisses became slight hickeys, his heart bubbling in his chest.

It was too difficult for Ben to resist, so he began slowly grinding himself against McDonagh as he felt his neck being sucked.

He tried to say the other man's name softly, but his words faded out to a long moan.

McDonagh's hand ran down Ben's front this time, rubbing his chest and teasing him lightly through his uniform. A shiver ran through him as Ben moaned, and he pushed himself up against the smaller man.

He let his tongue run across Ben's collarbone... He never got to have any fun with Kingston.

Ben was partly getting off to the thrill of fooling around with someone he hadn't in a while, but he really loved McDonagh and how he loved physically, and he could feel himself throb a bit.

His eyes rolled back and he released another moan.

His hand came to gently squeeze Ben's crotch with a chuckle, but he was soon back to kissing him on the lips, arms wrapped securely around him. The room felt a lot less cold now, even though all the warmth was practically going to his pants.

He sucked gently on Ben's lower lip, trying to shower him in love however he could.

Ben let his tongue dance across McDonagh's teeth as he opened his eyes a bit, looking into his partner's. It was a look of longing and affection, and sliding his hands to the man's jaw, pushed into a deep kiss, letting his eyelids naturally shut. His hips still rocked slowly against the redhead's.

McDonagh sighed deeply as he was kissed, feeling more alive than he had in quite some time. He seemed to smile as he was kissed, somehow holding Ben even closer without being forceful. He couldn't help but rub up against him, though... It was keeping him warm, after all.

Ben's hip movements hastened a bit, and he whimpered through each kiss, holding McDonagh tightly with his hands and thighs. Pulling off of his lips, he pressed their foreheads together.

He didn't want to ask, but he could feel that Ben wanted more than what he was getting. He didn't push, though. He merely looked up at him and smiled, panting softly.

"You okay?"

Ben sighed.

"Y-yeah, it's just hard not to get caught up in the moment..." Thinking for a moment, he added, "if we _do_ do anything, I'd like it to not be on, well, _his_ bed."

McDonagh's eyes hardened for a fraction of a second, reflecting something akin to pain. He understood, though, and let Ben slide off him a little.

"I guess we could move to Kingston's, just in case."

Ben nodded. "Yeah, thank you." Pulling the blankets with him, he moved over to the other bed and sat back against the wall, watching to see what McDonagh would do, while he gently rubbed himself through his uniform.

The Irishman figured there was no point in ignoring what Ben was doing- the guy wanted release. Most of all, he wanted fun.

Leaning over, McDonagh put his arms at each side of Ben's waist, moving in to kiss him again, pressing him against the wall.

Ben closed his eyes and pushed into the kiss, a soft sigh leaving his lips. His tongue flicked the inside of the other man's lips and a smile formed on his own, excited at the momentum of their actions.

McDonagh slowly pulled Ben closer, spreading his legs as he himself began to lean back. Something about Ben being on top excited him. His tongue slipped into Ben's mouth, softly sliding over Ben's own.

Ben started grinding on McDonagh again, his sighs of pleasure becoming louder. He kissed the man harder to quiet himself, only half successfully.

McDonagh felt certain pride in the sighs Ben was letting out, but he wasn't really doing all that much... Hands snaking to Ben's zipper, he began to pull it down as he nibbled on his bottom lip. Once he realized Ben would be cold with his skin exposed, he threw a blanket over them.

Ben pulled the blanket up over him more, giving McDonagh a quiet "thank you," and he sat up a bit, pushing his underwear down and letting his partner see the strong erection he had. It made him blush a bit.

"Mm," the redhead couldn't disguise his desire as he brought a hand up to run his palm up Ben's shaft. "Feeling playful, are you, sweetheart..."

Being called sweetheart made him shudder, and he blushed harder, arching up his back and grinding slowly against McDonagh's hand.

"A l-little bit..."

McDonagh purred and gripped Ben's cock, stroking it slowly as his other hand pushed against the small of his back. He was still growing under Ben, hope moving at a very mild pace.

"You're a beauty."

Ben gasped quietly and pulled the blanket up a bit over his chest, feeling a little cold as his nipples hardened.

"Y-you're pretty damn handsome yourself you know." He gave the other man a cute smile.

"Oh,  am I?" McDonagh pulled Ben a bit closer, pressing his lips to his chest. So warm... He kept the blanket closed around them, breathing deeply.

With a shudder, he placed his mouth on Ben's right nipple, tongue pressed right up to it.

Ben "ahh'd" loudly and exhaled hard, gripping his fingers into the blanket. His cock throbbed and his eyes shut tightly, and with an energetic thrust, he grinded hard against the redhead's hand.

McDonagh replied with a squeeze to Ben's cock, teeth pressing to his nipple. He wanted to hear more of Ben's moans... He was rock hard, cock pressing right up to Ben's ass.

Ben could feel the other man's erection, and he acknowledged it by sitting back on him and grinding his ass against his erection.

His own moans got louder and breathier.

"Ah-" The Irishman shivered and moaned in return, grinding up against Ben. Fucking him through his clothes didn't seem like a good time... He reached down to unzip his uniform with some difficulty, tugging on Ben's in turn.

"I'll keep you warm..."

Ben nodded and moved up enough to remove his clothes.

"Please do..."

He felt chilled the moment he took everything off, but focused on the heat coming off the muscular Irish man below him. Exhaling deeply, he shook a bit in anticipation.

Reaching under Kingston's bed, he pulled out a box. Sliding the lid off- with one hand, as his other hand was still on Ben's cock- he took out a bottle of lube. He'd purchased it against Kingston's wishes in hopes he'd get laid soon...

"It'll be cold, but don't worry... you'll be feeling hot soon enough."

Ben nodded eagerly. "Okay..."

Moving up and off of the other man, he gave him enough room to lube himself up, and supporting himself with his hands on McDonagh's chest, hovered over him.

"W-whenever you want me to."

"Whenever you're ready," McDonagh purred, stroking himself a few times, before pressing his slick fingers to Ben's asshole, aiming to relax him. With a pearly white grin, he pushed up only slightly.

"I love the view..."

Ben let his eyes half-close and he smiled down at McDonagh sweetly.

"So do I."

Carefully moving his hips down, he slowly took his cellmate's length, moving halfway down it at first before stopping, a long sigh leaving his lips as each inch went further into him. Pulling off again briefly, but not entirely, he sat down fully, pushing the man into him balls-deep, and sat there, tightening himself around him while sliding his hands up and down the redhead's chest.

McDonagh's body shuddered and he let out a long, drawn out moan, his hands clutching Ben's hips as he felt his entire length slide into his lover.

He would wait for Ben to move, but as long as he was in him, he stroked Ben's cock and waist, throbbing within him.

Ben began rocking his hips back and forth, wanting to roll them around in McDonagh's hands. Feeling the other man's hand on his cock, he gasped and sat back a bit, putting his hands behind his head and stroking his hair.

As cold as he was, he wanted to put on at least a _little_ bit of a show for him. Ben couldn't help but enjoy doing it.

Letting his jaw hang slack, he panted slowly.

McDonagh exhaled as he watched Ben display himself for him (was this how he dealt with jealousy?) before he pushed up once, moving them both upwards. He stroked Ben a bit more firmly, his hands becoming instantly warm.

Every good Irishman could withstand the cold. He was no exception.

Ben's body was so smooth and beautiful compared to his scarred one, and his hand found itself traveling all over his lover's skin.

Ben admired McDonagh's body in a way he wasn't able to before, in a way he couldn't quite do in the showers without being noticed. Moving his hands back down, he slid them down the other man's arms and traced every mark and scar. Leaning down, he kissed the man's neck and shoulders, before trailing up to his lips.

Being admired like this made him shiver- he felt _appreciated_ as well as slightly self conscious. His thrusts were slow and gentle, not wanting to ruin the mood of the kissing, although it was torture on his erection. He savored every moment Ben's lips were on his own.

Ben arched his back up a bit and moved up McDonagh's body so he could be thrust into more easily, still kissing him and stroking his lover's body with his fingertips, losing himself to the feeling of the cock inside of him.

"I lo-" Ben cut himself off, suddenly losing his blissful smile. "S-sorry...maybe I shouldn't say it..."

"Shh..." The man held Ben a bit tighter, slipping out of him slowly until only the tip remained inside him, hands rubbing his back lovingly as he smiled up at him. "You can say it if you want to. I won't mind..."

Very calmly, he began to slide back into Ben, sighing in the process.

" _Mmm I love you!_ " He practically gasped the words, letting his head hang down a bit and catching his breath.

"I love you _so much_..."

Sliding a hand back to brace himself, he pushed himself back on his cock and blushed.

McDonagh blushed as well, despite his best efforts, and pushed up as Ben slid down, reaching further into him and moaning in ecstasy. He _loved_ having the smaller man on him...

"I love you too," he whispered in a strained voice, and it felt scary to say it, but good, too.

They hadn't noticed the cell getting warmer.

Outside, Hullahaz gripped his shirt, eyes wide, breathing hard as he was pressed to the wall. He didn't know what to do- or why he felt this way. Ben loved him too, right? Of course he did, and he cared about him, he was just very loving, that was all... So why? Why did it hurt so much?

Kingston, in the meantime, had snuck off to go see his plant. Maybe Astrid was in? Probably not, if her heat was broken too…

Ben smiled and leaned back down to kiss him again, still moaning loudly. He was entirely unaware that Hullahaz was nearby, and as he rocked back and forth on McDonagh's lap, he could feel himself edging towards an orgasm.

McDonagh increased the pace and moaned against Ben, feeling a lot warmer already. Being buried deep within his lover made him feel ecstatic, and he was eager to blow his load into him-if he'd allow it.

Biting his own lip, his eyes rolled back.

Ben rode him hard, panting and feeling his orgasm coming up quickly.

"F-fuck-" he could hardly speak before a jet of cum shot out from him and coated McDonagh's abs, and he pushed back hard onto his lover's cock, wanting him to cum deep inside of him.

He muttered something under his breath and pushed deep into Ben, his orgasm shaking his body as his head pressed against the bed, sighing loudly with a deep moan or two.

He'd absolutely flooded Ben's ass, and he shakily commented on it, hands now on his cheeks.

"Bet you're feeling nice and warm now..."

Ben sat there, letting the blanket fall off of him.

"Mm, yeah I am."

_Too warm._

"Oh....oh no." His smile instantly dropped and he looked around.

He whispered to McDonagh, "Does it seem warmer in here?"

Still panting and trying to relax from the experience, he opened one eye to look around the room.

"Huh...Yeah, it does. Maybe they got that shit fixed?"

Hullahaz had made a run for it, had gone and holed himself up in the breaker room to pretend he was still messing with things.

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat, and his voice got even quieter.

_"D-do you think Hullahaz is back? That he saw or heard us?"_

McDonagh took a moment to think, and he could feel the atmosphere get colder, even if the heat remained.

"...Does it matter? That would mean that we're doing something wrong."

"N-no, I just don't think he likes to see it is all. We're not doing anything wrong, don't worry. Don't worry."

Perhaps he was more reassuring himself.

Giving the other man a smile, he kissed him softly stayed close.

McDonagh sighed gently and put his hand on Ben's head, stroking his hair slightly. "Alright. I won't."

Hullahaz knew how Ben felt, and he was fine with it, so why should reciprocation be an issue?

Ben gave him a few more loving kisses before moving off of him and heading over to the sink, which he climbed up onto and sat on.

"I hate doing this in here, but I _really_ don't want to make a trip to the bathroom." He sighed. "Please don't tell the others."

He couldn't help but laugh, putting a hand over his mouth.

"Oh, yeah, I'll just tell the whole cell you shat jizz in the sink... That'll really brighten their day."

He struggled to sit up, but at least now he could be without a blanket.

Unless the heat broke again, of course.

Ben gave him a brief glare and waited until he felt cleared out before wiping himself off with his nearby towel.

Walking over to his uniform, he picked it up and pulled it on, climbing back onto Kingston's bed and relaxing next to McDonagh. He was warmed up for sure, but always felt a bit chilly, so he wrapped an arm over him.

McDonagh kept him close and closed his eyes, just about ready to drift off. He didn't care if the whole prison saw them like this- he was going to enjoy what he had for as long as he had it.

Kingston eventually returned, humming to himself. Upon seeing his bed occupied, he frowned. "Hey, make space for me. And where's Hullahaz? He fixed that shit hours ago!"

Ben had fallen into a light nap and woke easily when he heard Kingston nearby.

"Oh, hey. I mean, we could make room if you wanted to join."

His heart dropped. "I dunno, maybe he got into a fight because someone told him he didn't fix it soon enough. But if it's been hours, where were you?"

"I was taking care of my catnip," he replied, rubbing his arm and sitting on the edge of his bed. McDonagh looked up at him inquisitively.

"A-and then I decided to go check on Astrid. But of course she wasn't there. But, you know, I'm proud I decided to check! It means I'll be able to see her soon!"

McDonagh smiled softly before closing his eyes again.

"That's good! Glad you at least worked up the courage to check on her. I'd try again later today if possible." He nudged Kingston with his foot, smiling at him.

He chuckled and shook his head. "Noo, I don't think she'll be in... But anyway, I don't need a PhD to figure out what you two did."

"That's my Jesse," McDonagh teased in a tired voice.

Ben smirked. "Yeeep. Had to do _something_ to keep warm, right?" He couldn't help but tease him as well.

Kingston began to wave his arms around as if he were possessed, lips pressed tightly.

"Everyone in here is getting laid!"

Ben pushed him a bit with his foot, laughing.

"Yeah, including you dude!! So why are you complaining?"

"Because I _haven't_ been getting laid! Because I royally screwed up with Astrid-"

"Well, you can blame it on me," McDonagh lowered his voice.

"I _do_ blame it on you. Kind of."

Ben sighed.

"Well, you're working on baby steps to getting back to getting laid, right? Things'll work out, don't worry."

"It's- It's not just for the sex, Ben! I love her!"

McDonagh rolled his eyes, groaning. "Yes, we know, but you were complaining!"

Nobody seemed to notice Hullahaz slip into the cell and sit down on his bed.

Whatever light mood Ben was in, the suddenly feel it go very _cold_.

Sitting up a little bit, he could see the tattooed man on his bed. Perhaps against his better judgment, he said "hey, you're back."

"Yep," he replied with mild exhaustion in his voice. "I'm back. And I fixed the heat."

"But I thought you did that hours... Ago..." Kingston trailed off, suddenly feeling awkward.

"Got into some shit with the guards."

Ben raised his eyebrow.

"Thanks for fixing the heat. I don't think I could have survived another night with it broken."

"I'm sure you woulda found a way," he replied, pulling out a cigarette and producing a _lighter_.

Just what had he done in his time away?

Ben sat up more when he saw the lighter, his heart pounding a bit faster.

"I... suppose."

"Hey, maybe that could keep us warm," McDonagh replied jovially, trying to lighten the mood. Hullahaz looked up at him and replied rather humorously, much to Kingston's (bless his soul) relief.

"How, by lightin' your hair on fire? It's already the right color."

"Ah-"

Ben felt... A little bit better.

"Or we could cut off one of Kingston's dreads. I'm sure those things are like duraflame logs with the grease in 'em."

"Hey! Don't diss the dreads! I take care of these things."

"Give it up, Jesse, they look awful."

"They do NOT! I have _seen_ awful dreads, and let me tell you..."

Hullahaz closed his eyes and exhaled.

Ben glanced over at Hullahaz, still worried, but after last night, he was trying to avoid negative energy, and all of the bad energy he felt was on his husband's side of the room.

So he stayed where he was beside McDonagh. Lowering himself back down, he closed his eyes and cuddled close to him.

The smell of smoke filled the room gradually, and Hullahaz slowly moved over to the window, cracking it open to blow it all outside. Kingston approached him and asked him if he could eventually borrow his lighter- once his plant was ready.

"Sure. Nicked it off a guard anyhow. Ain't even mine."

Ben let his eyes open a little bit, still looking down, and he tucked his knee up on McDonagh. Giving his lover a small kiss on the neck, he closed then again, hoping to try and put the negative energy out of his mind.

"Ooh, tell me about that..." Their conversation trailed to a murmur as McDonagh put his arm around Ben, kissing his cheek lightly. He wanted to shower him in affection, of course, but he didn't want to look like he was trying to start shit.

Ben appreciated both the affection and the restraint on McDonagh's part.

Of course, his mind didn't hesitate to wander to looming thoughts.

If Hullahaz ever did leave him, as much as he loved McDonagh, he wouldn't ask him to be his husband. The fear of dragging someone else into his own messes terrified him, and he had an inkling that Hullahaz was _not_ pleased with what was happening.

As night rolled in (with lunch having been canceled due to nothing being made in time), Hullahaz lingered in the cell for a moment before going to dinner. He was writing something...

He hadn't written in such a long time. The writer of the cell was McDonagh, with Kingston being the reader and Ben being the artist.

He was the overseer, he supposed. Except he was losing power.

Whatever.

Ben was about to head down for dinner, when he noticed Hullahaz writing. Stepping over to him, he kept himself low and submissive.

"What are you writing?"

"Letter to my sister," he answered in a low voice, scribbling on the page as if his life depended on it. He knew it wouldn't make any difference, but by _God_ , he never wanted her to feel like he'd forgotten.

"I'll be there soon."

Ben gave him a small smile.

"Okay. I'll see you down there, and I'll save you a seat unless Kingston sits in it."

He was doing everything he could do be sweet and loving to him, without resorting to his normal methods of affection. It seemed like Hullahaz wouldn't appreciate any of it right now.

"Yeah, you do that. But if it's mash I don't wanna eat it."

After all, he had no idea if Orozco had been able to get around to having dinner. Orozco... Maybe he could help him if he felt he was slipping.

Looking up from his letter at Ben for a moment, he tried a small smile.

Ben reached a hand out and gently rubbed his arm before moving for the door.

He tailed his cellmates out to the cafeteria, relieved to see that at least some attempt was made by Orozco to make food.

Ben wanted so badly to not envy him like he did... So perhaps he could try to start by learning to....like him more. Like his cooking.

The men had already piled their plates full of enchiladas, and smiled at Ben as he joined.

"You're going to love these, they're delicious. I swear, that guy uses witchcraft to cook." Kingston purred, stabbing a decent amount of food onto his fork.

"Where's Hullahaz? Busy writing?" McDonagh put a tender hand on Ben's arm.

Ben nodded. "I'm gonna try to get him a plate of food for when he comes down. Save these seats for us please?" He gave the blond a puppy dog face.

Kingston put his hands on his hips. "How can I say no to that face!?"

Hullahaz signed his letter with the name he'd almost forgotten, and made his way down to the cafeteria- after calling for his escort. He felt a bit better having written everything down.

Ben had grabbed two plates of enchiladas and sat back down at the table when he saw Hullahaz coming over.

He seemed to feel less...upset, so Ben figured it would be okay if he was more lovey. Although he was nervous about giving affection if he didn't want it, he figured he ought to at least try.

He actually smiled at his cellmates- his family...?- and thanked them for the food. Thanked _Ben_ for the food.

"Smells good as always. Dunno how the dude managed to get the motivation when we were all freezin' our nuts off."

Ben took a big bite, noting the spiciness and replied, "That would sure explain the heat in this dinner."

Leaning against Hullahaz, he wrapped an arm around him tightly, lowering his eyes and hoping, praying, that the hug would help him feel a bit better.

His cellmates laughed, Kingston commenting about wanting heat in reserve and eating twice as fast, which resulted in him quickly suffering a stomachache.

Hullahaz appreciated the hug, wrapping his own arm around Ben to keep him closer, looking down at him with as much fondness as his tired state could muster.

Seeing the light in Hullahaz's eyes briefly flicker, he leaned up close to his ear.

" _Can we snuggle again tonight?_ " He sorely wanted to give him some love, after all of today.

Hullahaz nodded, holding onto Ben a little tighter.

"I'd like that."

He needed it, too. Writing that letter had just reminded him of how much he missed her.

Although they were in public, Ben couldn't resist briefly leaning up to give Hullahaz a quick peck on the chin.

"We should do movie night sometime, if you can go. It'd be nice to do something akin to a date."

Did Ben love him again, or did he just feel bad for him? He supposed it didn't matter right now. He just wanted to feel happy.

"Wish I could. Maybe... Maybe we could get the movie to our cell somehow."

Ben laughed. "Maybe if we can get phones in. But you know how that is..."

"Nah, don't you remember back in school when teachers used to roll in those big TVs and we'd watch a VHS for class... Kinda like that." He closed his eyes and remembered coming home to excitedly tell his parents.

Ben nodded. "Oh yeah. Well, I wonder if they have anything like that around here that they could lend out to an inmate. And if there's anything worth watching on VHS."

Ben snorted and sighed. "Hell I'd be happy if we got to even see the Lion King or something."

Kingston perked up and leaned forward. He wasn't sure what they were talking about, really, but he only needed to hear the title of the movie to join in.

"Oh man, that was my favorite as a kid!!! I used to watch it every day."

Ben looked over at Kingston and smiled. "Well that would make sense, Mr Golden Fangs." He never understood the blond's motivation to get those, but liked them anyway.

Chuckling, Kingston grinned and displayed his golden canines. "Yeah, I figured mine weren't sharp enough and I wanted to make them stand out. Look predatory, you know? B-but not like _that_ , of course."

McDonagh looked over at the blonde and smiled fondly... although a bit sadly.

As much as Ben wanted to say "what, fierce?" as a gay joke, he didn't feel compelled to rub how Kingston _wasn't_ gay in front of McDonagh.

"Don't worry, we get ya."

He pushed a dread behind his ear and blushed a bit, resuming his eating.

"I'd rather we watched Million Dollar Baby," McDonagh announced haughtily.

Hullahaz rolled his eyes with a little snort. "Go figure."

Ben smirked. "Hey, I'd watch it. There's a lot of shit I haven't gotten to see in forever... And I didn't realize how much I'd missed movie watching...."

"Same, though. I wonder if we can bribe someone to buy us DVDs from the outside!" Kingston chirped.

A pause.

"Oh wait!"

"You shouldn't ask her to do that for you, Kingston," Hullahaz warned softly.

"Aw,  but it wouldn't be a problem!"

The thought of watching a movie all together in Astrid's office made him giggle.

Well, maybe at some point we can watch movies all together. We'll find a way."

"Yeah! And maybe once we get out-"

"Alright, that's enough! I'm heading back to the cell..." McDonagh announced, knowing things were headed right into the garbage. Still, his tone wasn't angry. "We can play charades or something and pretend."

"Aw... alright..."

Ben shared his worry but said nothing.

"We'll meet you up there." Still holding onto Hullahaz, he moved to hugging his arm and staying close.

Hullahaz rubbed his back and watched Kingston finish his meal, completely oblivious to anything he might have said.

Once the tattooed man was done, he moved to stand up, holding Ben's hand for a moment.

Ben stood up with Hullahaz, making sure to take his tray with him. Sticking close, he emptied it off and followed him back to the cell.

McDonagh resisted the temptation to read Hullahaz's letter. He'd never read the Irishman's journal, so why would he breach the other's confidentiality? Still, it was hard not to want to know more about the man...

When he saw the men return, he smiled softly (especially at Ben.)

Hullahaz bristled, but disguised it. "Fuck, I forgot I got no envelopes."

Ben tilted his head.

"Want me to go get you one? I'll bring it back so you can seal it up yourself."

"Store won't be open at this hour," he replied softly. "Don't matter, I'll deal with it tomorrow..."

Kingston stretched happily and got into his bed with a grin, feeling confident that he'd be able to talk to Astrid soon.

"Thanks for fixing the heat," McDonagh quietly spoke, "again."

Hullahaz, shedding his shoes, nodded. "No problem."

Ben for ready for bed quickly before climbing in beside Hullahaz. He shut his eyes and nuzzled in close, hoping that perhaps all this affection would ease any of his stress... After today anyway.

It would probably take a lot more, but due to his refusal to open up, he'd just need to keep to himself. Still, for tonight, he wrapped an arm around Ben and did his best to sleep.

Several days later, the morning seemed to come around too early for Astrid. The previous night she'd bought herself a few pregnancy tests, but didn't have a full enough bladder to use them, so she chugged two glasses of water before bed and hoped that she'd be awake enough to use them in the morning.

Fortunately, she was, and grabbing all of them out, shoved them all underneath her before having the most satisfying pee of her life. Each device came up positive.

Taking a deep breath, she finished up in the bathroom, washing her hands and heading back out to her bedroom, where she sat on her bed and thought to herself.

As much as she loved Kingston, she worried that perhaps she'd been a bit too hasty, maybe she'd made a poor choice in deciding to start a family with him while he was still on his sentence (even if she could get him out sooner). She wouldn't be able to tell her mother, nor any of her friends, at least, not until she showed.

Still, she had to at least tell Kingston.

Once she got to work, she sent another notice to him that she wanted to see him, and she began reciting how she would break the news to him while she waited.

Kingston had been oblivious to the rest of the world in the days that had passed. He'd sent a letter to Astrid apologizing for his cowardice and inability to visit (as Orozco had asked him to perform a few chores and he'd been too afraid to say no), so when her notice arrived he felt ready to jump for joy.

McDonagh and Ben had continued being affectionate, of course, and Hullahaz had done his best to be affectionate and cheerful through it all, despite how big the hole inside him had grown.

At least he'd managed to send his letter...

"Okay, guys, wish me luck!" Kingston pulled his dreads back into a ponytail and skipped off to his meeting…

Astrid called him in once he arrived, playing with her hands nervously as he sat down. Giving him the most confident smile she could, she pulled her chair close and leaned forward.

"I'm glad you were able to come. And... I did get your apology letter." Reaching her hand across the desk, she added, "I appreciate it a lot, so thank you Stuart."

"I-I really _am_ sorry I couldn't... Come sooner, I just..." He played with his ponytail and looked down, blinking anxiously before shuffling in his seat. "Anyway..."

She would probably just want to check up on him, right? It had been a while, after all. "As I said, things are better now- we... We talked it out with Ben's help, and it didn't seem fair to drag him down too."

Astrid realized she hadn't made clear her reason for wanting to see him, and that she was still his counselor. She gave him a reassuring smile.

"I'm glad things are working out better for you all. Hopefully they stay that way." Pausing, she bit her lip.

"I...I, uh, I have something I should probably tell you." Her eyes glanced down.

Her smile made him feel so warm inside, he realized how badly he'd really missed her. Doing his best not to reach over the desk and pull her into a hug, he put his hands in his lap and waited expectantly.

"Yeah? What is it?" Before waiting for an answer, he leaned in a bit closer. "Is it news on my appeal?"

Oh, that would be wonderful!

Astrid looked up at him.

"O-oh, no, nothing about that yet. But soon, I'm sure. Actually..."

She lowered her voice.

"You remember when we fooled around? The first time, of course. Well.... We... We _are_ starting a family it seems. I'm pregnant."

"Wh... Excuse me?"

Kingston rubbed his face and leaned in, tilting his head in confusion.

"You're _what_?"

Surely it wasn't his kid, even if he had heard her correctly... But who else was Astrid seeing?

"I'm _pregnant_ , Stuart. And it's yours. I'm not seeing anyone else, and that day I _did_ have you cum inside me. All the pregnancy tests I took came up positive, and... I should have had my period by now."

She knew she was dumping a lot on him, but the news was just a big a shock to her, and _she_ was the pregnant one.

Blinking a few times, Kingston merely stared at her dumbfounded for a while before putting a hand to his face, letting it drag down slowly.

"Oh."

Silence followed for a second before he spoke again.

"This is bad. Astrid, this is _really_ bad."

"I-I know! I mean, it's not your fault, I asked you to, I just... I know my timing was bad. You don't have to worry about it until you're out." Pausing, she looked down.

"U-unless you don't want to worry about it then. Which...." She didn't want to say she was okay with it, because she wasn't, especially because she believed he loved her.

"I-I mean, if I don't get out, I'm still looking at a _long_ time in here! Way too long to be a fucking dad! I..." He dropped his voice, hands fidgeting. "I wouldn't be able to see the kid be born... And I mean that's not all! I..."

He put his arms out. "I'm a criminal! I'm your...! You could lose your job over this! I..."

He began to feel intense pain in his chest, hands now gripping at his shirt.

"I think you might have to get rid of it."

Astrid felt her heart break at the mention, even if it was the smarter decision. She didn't _want_ to get rid of it.

Tears welled up and she buried her face in her hands. "I don't wanna think about it though!!"

_But really, what choice do I HAVE??_

Putting his hands up to his head, he got up and began to pace before putting his hands out, trying to hush her.

"Listen, listen... We can try again after I'm out, okay? It's no big deal! It's... It's not even a kid, right?"

Wasn't that what his mother had said? They weren't babies until they were outside the womb or something...

"I mean..."

Every fiber of her _being_ knew he was right, but she was still holding on, and for a moment, all she could do was whimper.

"I-it's just... It's still something you and I _made_ together that I get to have growing inside of me.... I'm _attached_ , even if it's stupid of me to be..."

Hugging herself, she wiped her face a bit, trying not to smear her make up.

"But it was an accident..." His voice trailed off as he sat back down, looking at the floor. If she wanted to keep it, there was nothing he could do about it. Sighing deeply, he let his head hang.

"Well, I don't know what to do. There's nothing I _can_ do, since if someone finds out, I'm never getting out for sure."

Feeling a need to be close to him, Astrid stood up and walked around the table and kneeling down close to him.

"They won't find out. I'm a prison employee, and for all they know, I could be pregnant for a number of reasons. They're not allowed to ask. Unless you or I explicitly say so, no one will ever find out."

Of course, that was if she decided to keep it. She still had some time to work out the decision before committing to anything, although she knew the longer she waited, the more attached she'd be.

Kingston pouted as he looked down at her, as if ready to protest and say 'but it's MY baby!'. He stopped himself, though, relaxing again as he fiddled with the edge of his shirt.

"I'm sorry... You're right. You can do what you want... I just don't want to think about being stuck in here if there's a kid of mine out there in the world without a dad... I know what that's like, and it's not good."

He closed his eyes for a bit. It was quite a lot to take in.

"I....I understand, as much as I can. It's ultimately my choice, but I know... I know that it's selfish of me to keep it. I want what's best for you, for me, and for our future family."

Astrid was still on the fence, but she knew what choice she had to take.

"I-I'll abort it..... F-for both of our sakes...." Another sob was welling up in her, and she dropped to her knees fully and wrapped her arms around him, feeling awful about everything, especially her decision-making as of late.

His eyes widened and he moved down to hold her, wanting to comfort her despite being part of the problem. It was odd to see her so vulnerable, when she'd been so collected for all the time he'd known her.

Until he'd confessed.

In every way, this was his fault.

Rubbing her back, he tried to hush her, keeping her still. He had a thought that saddened him as he did this. Out there, somewhere, was a man who wouldn't make her suffer as much.

Hugging him back tightly, Astrid sniffled, pressing her cheek to his.

"I-I'm sorry I've been acting selfish and immature, making poor choices... Life in here is hard enough for you as it is. I-I still love you... But I worry that I'm not... I'm not helping you anymore." She pulled away only a little bit.

"Stuart... Am I a bad counselor?"

"Wha...?"

The question (and the apologies!) took him by surprise, and he looked Astrid in the eye with a bewildered expression.

"You're not! Not to me... I-I don't know who else you deal with, but you've always been great with me... I just don't want everything to fall apart for real, that's all... No matter what happens, I wanna know you're okay."

Astrid's gaze softened and she kissed him. "Baby, you're the one in jail. If either one of us should be worried about the other being okay, it's me to you! But... I do appreciate you thinking I'm a good counselor." Curling in close to him, she leaned against his chest.

"From now on, let's just focus on your appeal. The sooner you get out, the sooner we can put your time in here behind us and focus on being happier together..."

He nodded and kissed her back, running a hand through her hair. He'd missed her so much, and it made him so upset to see her cry. "I'm fine, though. I promise."

He paused for a bit, hand still in her hair.

"If..." He sniffled, holding onto her as tightly as he could without hurting her. "If we manage to get me out of here... Soon... Like, before you start to show..."

Biting his lip, he tried to continue. "Maybe... Then it would be okay to, you know, keep it..."

Some more tears trickled out of her eyes, but they were happy ones.

"I-I won't show for several weeks, so we have some time, but I promise you that if the appeal doesn't go through, I'll abort it." She leaned in for another kiss. "I promise."

Astrid felt so warm and safe with him, and closing her eyes, she breathed slowly.

"I love you so much...."

Kingston noded softly, pulling Astrid up into his lap to better embrace her. He kissed her as gently as he could, stroking her back. He didn't want it to even be an option, but he knew there was no other choice.

"I trust you... I trust you know what's best."

After all, she was the clever one of the two.

Hugging her tightly, he leaned to rest his head against her shoulder.

"I love you too, Astrid..."

Astrid didn't want to move from this position, but her knees were starting to hurt, so she stood up and moved to sit on Kingston's lap. Hugging his head close to hers, she whispered to him.

"Just think, when the appeal goes through, you'll get out of here and you can come live with me once your parole is over, and then we can be a family for real."

"I think about that a lot," he admitted, "I just feel it's not gonna actually happen... Like I'm never gonna be able to get out of here no matter how hard I try."

Alright, so growing cannabis wasn't the smartest thing to do to help that, but he needed it.

"Babe, I'm gonna do my best to make sure you have the best shot at getting out early. I promise. As soon as it gets reopened, we can work on it together. I'll get to have you in here a lot... And together we'll help you get out early."

Stroking his cheek, she nuzzled him and kissed his forehead.

Kingston nodded and cuddled into her, hoping he didn't smell bad or look shitty or anything of the sort... He'd tried to make himself look presentable.

"I'll be on my best behavior, I swear! And then finally... Finally we can be a real family."

Glancing down at her stomach, he felt tears rise to his eyes, even though nothing was visible yet.

Astrid felt so comforted and happy beside him. If not for the fact that fooling around had gotten them into the mess they were in, plus the emotional moment they had just shared, she'd be tempted to initiate something sexual as a way to spend the rest of their time, but she knew better.

"I know you will be Hun... I know..." Running her hair through his dreads, she smiled, closing her eyes.

Kingston rubbed her back tenderly until it was time for him to leave. He was already bursting to tell his cellmates, but he knew if he did he'd probably get in a lot of trouble! Still, he kissed her cheek once he had to leave, and held her hands tightly.

"I love you, Astrid. I'll see you soon, okay?"

“Yeah.... I love you too... And, I'll see you soon." Standing up, she kissed the top of his head and smiled, moving back over to her side of the desk.

He walked back to the cell with an odd spring in his step. On one hand he wanted to be happy, but on the other hand he was nervous. Still, he'd do his best to keep everything under wraps.

Ben had been folding some of his clothes when Kingston came back.

"So... Things go okay with you and Astrid?"

"Yeah! You could say that," he smiled, shedding the top of his uniform and letting his ponytail fall. McDonagh looked at him funny, but said nothing.

Neither did Hullahaz, but that was to be expected. He was busy doing his exercises.

"Well? Any news about your appeal?" He set aside one of the piles to sit down on the chair beside the table.

Kingston's face fell as he sat on his bed, pushing his magazines aside. "No... It's taking a really long time. But I'm sure I'll get it!"

McDonagh clicked his tongue with a smirk. "'Course."

Ben raised an eyebrow. "Well then what has you in a good mood?" He was lightly hinting at a sexual happening, but didn't want to actually vocalize it, in case a guard was nearby.

"Just... Being able to see her again and know that everything is okay." He smiled softly, looking down at his hands.

"Duh, Ben," McDonagh teased.

"Right, right. Sorry, you're right." He lowered his head and blushed, feeling a bit awkward.

"Man, I was being playful. What's up?" The redhead put his arm around Ben as Kingston tried to conceal his strange joy.

"Ah nothing, I promise." Smiling up at McDonagh he sighed.

Dropping his voice, he began to rub Ben's shoulder. "Are you sure? You know you can talk to me."

"Of course, I know. I'm fine." He stood up and gave McDonagh a hug as he grabbed the pile of clothes to put them away.

McDonagh watched him move away with the ghost of a smile, but couldn't help but feel uneasy as Hullahaz _instantly_ sparked up a cigarette once he was done working out. Kingston didn't seem bothered, though, and he hopped up.

"Any news on getting the TV player or whatever?"

Ben sat back down at the table, putting a foot up on the chair. He hoped things wouldn't be uncomfortable in the cell today.

"Look, man, I don't have the best record of conduct. Ben should do it."

"Ben's always being juggled between you two! I thought you would do it!"

"And why don't you do it, huh?"

"I'm trying to stay off the radar so I can get out, man!"

Hullahaz blew smoke out the window and smiled. "Like they'd let _this_ cell have the TV to itself."

Ben shrugged. "I-I mean I COULD try if you really want me to. It's not exactly like I'm eager to leave?" His eyes glanced up at Hullahaz and fogged up a bit, before they looked over at McDonagh.

"I don't think..." Hullahaz began, yet again wanting to reiterate that there was no way in hell they'd let the murderer have special privileges, but McDonagh had already bounced up off the bed.

"I'll go with you. Extra protection. I won't be asking, but I'll be there."

"Plus, it's just for one night right? That wouldn't be too bad." He stood up getting a bit excited, although he was still nervous about it.

McDonagh nodded, and Kingston chuckled to himself as he began rearranging his magazines. Needless to say, Hullahaz felt the pit inside him grow a few inches, but he merely smiled as they walked off.

Ben stuck close to McDonagh, happy he was accompanying him to the office.

Once they got there, he walked up to the office lady and asked if they could borrow a small TV for the cell for the night.

It took quite a bit of pushing and prodding, but finally the lady caved, telling them to hurry up before anyone else noticed.

She refrained from mentioning Roger.

Ben grabbed the DVD player and small TV and handed a handful of movies to McDonagh before making a break (at fast walk speed) for the cell.

McDonagh followed closely behind him, a stupid grin on his face. Hopefully Kingston hadn't finished off their snacks, so they'd have something to chew on as they watched...

Kingston's eyes sparkled at the sight of the TV, and he produced a DVD... Only to see the redhead already had a bunch.

Ben pulled the table over and placed the TV on it. Looking over at Kingston, he saw the DVD in his hand.

"Let's put all the movies out on the bed and pick a few to watch."

The choices were soon brought down to Fight Club, Hitch and (Kingston's) Marley and Me. He _insisted_.

"Alright, do we still have snacks, or..."

The blonde went to check- producing a _ton_ of them

Ben grinned, eagerly going over to Hullahaz's bed and sitting down.

"So, which one first?"

"Fight Club," McDonagh whispered with a huge grin. Hullahaz rolled his eyes, entertaining himself with a mars bar. He didn't care _what_ they watched. He'd most likely not pay attention.

Ben stayed close to Hullahaz, facing out to watch the movie while eating some Skittles. He was content, happy to be able to spend some time seeing a movie with him.

After all, with him never getting out, it would probably be their only chance to have anything resembling a date.

He obliged, for Ben, and tried his best to pay attention to the movie. He only had seldom opportunities to feel Ben's warmth beside him like this anymore, and he wanted to cherish it.

Of course, all the positive thoughts came with negative ones, holding hands. The more he focused on the movie- the outside world- the more he realized he'd never be rejoining it, and he'd lose Ben forever.

...As McDonagh got his freedom, too.

Ben was still excited by the end of the first movie and was excited for the second, opting to watch Marley and Me in the event he got tired (he wanted to watch Kingston's movie and be awake for it).

Giving Hullahaz a kiss as he swapped the DVDs, Ben grabbed some more candy.

Kingston immediately regretted choosing this movie, as he was bawling his eyes out by the end of it, unleashing all of the day's emotions. McDonagh was somewhat confused, but he didn't question anything, merely rubbing his back.

Hullahaz passively offered him a Mars bar.

Ben looked over at Kingston, hoping he was okay. The movie was emotional for sure, but he was reacting very strongly.

Ben shed a tear or two, but otherwise hadn't gotten too emotional by the end of the movie.

"Do we have energy for one more? Or should we call it quits? We'll probably have to return all this in the morning."

Kingston was definitely not okay, but he found solace on the shoulder of his ex "lover", who wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. He rubbed the blonde's shoulder with a quiet sigh.

Hullahaz was already closing his eyes.

"One more," Kingston whispered, "to lift me up."

Ben set up the next movie but found himself drifting off as it played, and before long, had fallen asleep in Hullahaz's arms.

By the time the movie was over, everyone had quietly said their goodnights and headed off to bed. Hullahaz held onto Ben throughout the night, and it closed up the pit just a little.

It was torn open almost immediately the more Kingston kept talking about his appeal- it was all a reminder that he was going to lose Ben, and that he'd been an idiot for falling for him after the pain he went through with Laney.

He needed to find a plan, and fast- and eating his quesadillas, it came to him.

Ben was sitting with his cellmates at the table, finishing up his breakfast early.

"I'm gonna take my tray up and then head to the shop to buy some more snacks. We're out after last night. See you back at the cell?"

He nodded absentmindedly, but put his hand up after a moment. "I'll... Be at the showers, probably."

This was about when Orozco showered, right? According to what he could remember, anyway.

Ben smiled at him before heading off with his tray. Wandering off to the shop, he picked up a few bags of chips and candy, telling the office lady that he'd bring the tv and DVD player back down once he had a cellmate who could help him.

He made his way back to the cell and discovered it was empty. His bladder, however, was not, and he opted to make a trip down to the showers to deal with it, and hopefully see Hullahaz.

Walking in, he closed the stall door and began to pee.

He'd been right. Orozco was there, with three of his acolytes, washing his hair and applying some strange product to his face. Hullahaz wasted no time in approaching him- he'd never been intimidated by anyone before, and he wouldn't start now. Especially not after they were on 'friendly terms'.

Blinking the water out of his eyes, the smaller man greeted Hullahaz with a smile. "Ah, it's good to see you! Is there something you need?"

"I need to talk," he replied quietly.

Orozco opened his mouth to reply, but Hullahaz interrupted.

"In private."

The soft pitter patter of men moving away could be heard.

Ben finished up and was about to leave the stall when he heard Hullahaz talking to... Orozco? A bit of panic set in, but he stayed quiet, listening intently.

_It's fine, they're fine, he saved Hullahaz's niece, and maybe this is about that, right?_

"What do you _need_ from me?"

"I don't need nothin'. I got an offer to make you."

"Offer...? What could you pos-"

"Let me talk."

Something about Hullahaz's tone was gentle but stern at the same time. Imposing. Orozco didn't interrupt. This wasn't an easy thing to say...

"I'm gonna be here forever, you're gonna be here forever."

"Well, that's depending on who you ask..."

Ben's gut clenched and he hugged one of his arms. _Where was he going with this?_

"Soon it's just gonna be me in my cell. I'm gonna lose the web of support I had and I'm gonna feel empty."

"You sure are opening up a lot today," Orozco purred quietly.

"Not by choice. Prisoners'll still fear me, I'm sure, but now that they seen I can form bonds with people, they'll try and fuck with me again."

"And?"

"Don't make me explain."

"You want to join my cult."

Ben couldn't help but whisper "no!!"

_What is he DOING!?_

Still, he wanted to hear how this conversation would end, and he stayed quiet, biting his lip as his stomach did flips.

"Don't make me _laugh_ , I ain't that desperate."

"Then?"

He took a deep breath, taking a step closer to the red-eyed man. Size-wise, he was imposing on his own.

"Join forces with me. If we form an alliance, ain't nobody gonna touch me, and ain't nobody gonna shittalk you."

It took a moment, but Orozco dissolved into giggles.

"Is it really so hard for you to talk about human emotions?"

Hullahaz flinched as the man put a hand on his chest, but he said nothing.

"Fine. I promise you that once you're entirely on your own, I'll be there for you. After all, you're going to be the only constant in my life..."

Ben placed his hands on the cell door, feeling his whole body shake.

It made sense for Hullahaz to have someone who _wouldn't_ leave the prison, but still, it made him feel _dispensable_. But then again, Hullahaz probably felt the same way, since Ben would get out of prison and forget about him and everyone, right?

But he _wouldn't_. He would _never_ forget the men he'd come to know and love, and being away from them would hurt more than anything.

Even more than thinking of Hullahaz being prison partners with _Orozco_.

A few tears tricked out and he turned around, hugging himself and leaning back against the stall door as he cried quietly.

Shaking hands with Orozco, Hullahaz began to move away to take a proper shower, when the man said something odd.

"You need to start being honest with yourself."

Locking eyes with the man, Hullahaz snorted.

"Save the prophetic mumbo jumbo for the masses..."

"You know what I mean. Just say it's to protect your broken heart. Say it's because you want me to fill the void."

A bitter smile crossed Hullahaz's lips, and he closed his eyes.

"Shut the fuck up."

Ben put his hand to his mouth to stifle any noise, sniffling as quietly as his body would allow. He didn't even bother to flush, instead silently opening the stall door and rushing out quietly.

Once he was back in his cell, he dug through his belongings until he found an old drawing of Hullahaz he'd done, and sitting on his husband's bed, clutched it to his chest, curled up in a ball, and sobbed into his arms (so he wouldn't get the drawing wet).

McDonagh happened to enter the cell shortly thereafter, and, seeing Ben in distress, immediately ran to his side, putting his hand to his back to rub at it slowly. "Hey, what happened?"

He knew he should be asking other questions, so he tried his best to do so. Sitting beside Ben on the bed, he pulled him into a side hug. "Who hurt you?"

"N-no one... For once... I just... I overheard Hullahaz and Orozco. They're gonna be... Looking out for each other once he's alone I guess. I just don't know how to feel..." Moving his arms back, he revealed the drawing he was hugging.

"I...I don't even know what's going to happen when I get out... But I don't want him to _forget_ me..." Wiping away his tears, he leaned into McDonagh and whimpered a bit.

McDonagh looked deeply bitter for a moment, but slowly softened his features for Ben's sake. Rubbing his arm, he shook his head. "I know it sounds tough, but I promise you it's just a way for him to... Get back on his feet. It's not easy to lose someone like that, and he'd be losing someone for the second time."

When was Hullahaz going to bring him up? Had he done so already? Closing his eyes, he sighed. "He's not going to forget you, but he's never going to see you again, so he needs to start getting used to that."

"Unless I visit, but... He might not want to see me..." Looking up into McDonagh's deep green eyes, he felt himself want to well up again.

"And... Who was this other person?"

He bit his lip, figuring if Hullahaz wasn't going to tell Ben, he may as well do it himself. "His name was Laney. Well- that was his last name... His first name was Chester, but only _he_ called him that."

Rubbing at his face, he sighed. "A lot of people forgot about this, but it was a period in which Hullahaz used to actually **smile** from time to time. Laney was in another cell, of course, but they bonded over mealtimes and showers, and... Notes."

Ben was reminded of Roger and found himself gripping the drawing tightly enough to wrinkle it, so he relaxed.

"And he got out?"

"That's... What they told us, anyway."

McDonagh's gaze seemed very distant.

"He didn't believe it."

"W-what do you mean?" Why wouldn't he believe it?" Ben bit his lip and pushed in a bit closer.

Taking a deep breath, McDonagh took Ben's hand. "He never mentioned the chance of getting out early to Hullahaz, and he had a few years on his sentence still."

"So...what do you think it was?" Ben was lost as to what he thought was the reason behind the leave, or had several ideas in his head, but he hasn't been there, so he couldn't have known the situation.

"I mean, I don't want to speak out of turn, but... Hullahaz believes it was a cover-up for the guy's death. I don't think I got it in me to disagree."

Looking up, he took a deep breath.

"You've already seen how shit other inmates can be, us included, but we've kept you safe from the guards."

" _O-oh....._ "

Ben stayed deathly silent. He didn't want to think about what could have happened to Hullahaz's ex-love, and was thankful that nothing super bad had happened to him, but still, the thought was utterly _terrifying_.

Moving to hold McDonagh's shoulder, he curled up and remained quiet.

He held Ben close and sat in silence, not wanting to dwell on what had probably happened, either. Laney had been a good man, imprisoned for whatever stupid reason, and he was a kind soul.

That was probably why he'd disappeared.

Thinking about it, that may have been why Hullahaz was so insistent on showing (odd) compassion to Ben.

"Can I still contact you when I'm out and even when you get out?" He asked in earnest, wanting at least someone from his time here to be stay in touch with (he figured Kingston would be off with Astrid and would forget about them).

Moving his head up, he closed his eyes and nuzzled the redhead's neck.

"Of course," he whispered. "No idea where I'm gonna be, or when, but you're free to look me up whenever you want. Maybe I can go to your aunt's bakery, or wherever you'll be..."

He laughed a bit, holding Ben there even after the other men entered the cell.

Ben chuckled lightly. "She lives out in the Midwest, but I'm sure if you look up ‘Jeong’ and ‘bakery’ or something, you could find it. Plus I can write you the name and number for when you get out." He relaxed against McDonagh, still holding the drawing to his chest.

"Yeah, I'm thinking I'll head to New York, you know?" He was musing now, but he wanted Ben to know he was paying attention to him too, thus continuing his strokes.

Hullahaz cleared his throat.

Ben jumped, opening his eyes and moving back a bit.

"S-sorry Hullahaz." Wiping his cheeks with his head down, he sat forward a bit, realizing he had been affectionate with McDonagh on _his_ bed.

All he said, however, despite the raging fire in his stomach, was "Can I sit?"

McDonagh grinned and scooted over, not caring (or not realizing) that he was taking up someone else's space.

Ben kept the drawing close and moved over so Hullahaz could sit on the bed.

_I wonder if this is about the shower conversation._

He said nothing, however, merely shedding down to his underwear to relax after his shower. Closing his eyes, he lay on his bed, almost oblivious to the other two.

Almost.

"So yeah, shoot me an email or something."

Ben nodded. "Will do."

Feeling a bit crowded on the bed, Ben stood up, leading McDonagh off with him, and over to his things.

"Here, for last night." He handed him some candy he bought.

He looked down at the candy and grinned. "That's right, we need to take it back... Well, hey. It's no problem. I'm glad we could have a nice night for once."

"Speak for yourself! I have plenty of nice nights," Kingston piped up, having settled down to read a magazine about... cars.

Hullahaz would be asking to borrow it later.

"Well, a nice night where all of us are spending time together." Sticking out his tongue at Kingston, he began pulling all the DVDs into his arms (excluding Kingston's) while coiling up the cables.

"This time I'll take the cables and movies and you can take the TV and DVD player."

"Leave it to me," McDonagh flexed, as if to say 'ain't no challenge'. He grabbed the tech and began heading off, glancing back at Hullahaz for a split second.

They met eyes, and he felt his stomach shrink. He couldn't explain why.

Ben hadn't noticed them looking at each other and he waltzed out of the cell, making sure McDonagh stayed with him.

Heading down to the office, he announced their arrival to the lady and handed back the things. She seemed pleased that they were timely with the return.

Grabbing a sudoku book and a pencil for himself (he'd always wanted to try sudoku), he walked back up to the cell beside his cellmate.

McDonagh squeezed Ben's ass as they walked back, laughing quietly.

"You gonna exercise your brains? Might want to lend the book to Kingston." Yes, he was never going to stop joking about the guy's mental state. He couldn't, as much as he wanted to let go of his affections.

Hullahaz's look still haunted him if he stopped to think about it.

Ben leaned against him and smiled when he felt the ass grab, wanting to give him a brief kiss but deciding against it while they were in the public area. Not that they could do it back in the cell either...

"Oh, I know he ain't the brightest, but I don't think he's _that_ stupid." He chuckled, looking forward to his book.

"Nah, he's not. It would just be funny to see his face as you handed it to him is all." Opening the cell door, he waited for Ben to head back inside, silently hoping Hullahaz would be busy with _anything_ in order not to look at him.

He seemed to be looking at the drawing.

Ben walked in, smile dropping once he saw Hullahaz looking at the drawing he'd been crying into. It seemed a few tears had gotten into it and smeared the very top…

He sat down beside him and pulled out his book and pencil.

"Mind if I lean against you while I work on this?"

He tilted his head curiously and ran a finger across the top of the drawing- yet he said nothing. What was there to say? He couldn't just ask "hey, why's the paper wet?".

Looking down at Ben, he nodded softly.

"Go ahead, I got nothin' to do."

Ben smiled and leaned up against him, kissing his chin as he opened up the book. He used one of his hands to grab the blanket and pull it over him (he was a bit chilly), and before he got to work on the first puzzle.

He did his best to ignore Hullahaz's noticing of the tears on the drawing.

Hullahaz leaned against Ben for a moment, ignoring the looks he was getting from across the room. Setting the drawing aside, he closed his eyes. He kissed him on the shoulder before leaning back a bit.

He knew he couldn't help Ben when he cried anymore.

Ben felt better, although he still had thoughts in the back of his mind that made him feel sad. Thoughts about things he couldn't do anything about.

After working on the puzzles for an hour or so, he noticed his stomach rumbling, and set the book aside.

"Lunch can't come soon enough."

"I can't wait to see what he's made! He had me press corn tortillas the other day... But we already had some of those. Damn, I just want beans. And chicken."

"You want a burrito, Jesse."

"I fuckin' do!"

Hullahaz grunted softly, opening one eye. "Eat some of the candy..."

Ben held his stomach.

"I think I ate too _much_ candy last night..." He giggled a bit, curling into Hullahaz while they'd still be lying together before lunch.

Wrapping his arm around Ben, he gave him a gentle rub. "Gotcha. Better eat somethin' healthy for lunch then..."

McDonagh waggled his brows, looking over at them.

Hullahaz said nothing.

"Yep, if I'm gonna gain any weight while I'm here I'd rather it be muscle, not fat." Closing his eyes, he sighed, placing a hand on his husband's chest, enjoying the physical attention.

"You'd always look great, though," Hullahaz whispered, letting the words roll off his tongue slowly.

"You? Muscly? Unheard of," McDonagh laughed before flexing.

Ben blushed, casting his eyes down and giggling softly.

"Well, thank you. Don't think I could live with myself if I had any other body type, but it's nice to know I'd still be loved." His words were quiet as well, and he lovingly murmured them back.

Listening to McDonagh's comment, he turned back for a moment. "Yeah, just try thinking of us with swapped body types. It'd be _ridiculous_."

Hullahaz wanted to stay with him forever, to block out the rest of the world and pretend like he could freeze time, but the more he wished for this, the more his heart ruptured, and he sighed slowly to try and relieve some of the pain.

"Don't say that..."

McDonagh cackled, shaking his head hard. Kingston looked up. "That's a scary thought."

Ben turned back to face Hullahaz and placed a hand on his cheek, pulling his head down a bit to kiss him gently.

" _I love you_..." It was important to him to remind his husband of that.

Lifting his head up, he rolled his eyes and spoke to Kingston. "Better yet, imagine all of us with your hair. Even _scarier_." He sneered.

Hullahaz smiled and nodded, pushing back the nagging doubts in his head as he kissed back, stroking Ben's hair as he did so.

"I love you too," he murmured, hoping to whoever was out there that saying this would heal the hole inside him.

Kingston threw his pillow at Ben with a 'fuck you, imagine all of us with your height'.

Ben grabbed the pillow and hugged it to himself. "Haha! My pillow now!" As he pulled it closer, he turned to face Hullahaz a bit before saying, "imagine all of us with Hullahaz's tattoos and piercings!" He gave him another kiss, a smile on his face.

"Even the cock ones?" He replied playfully, causing Kingston to yell out in disgust and fear. McDonagh jumped down from his bunk, sitting on the blonde's bed.

"I'd make the black ink green, but I'd go for it."

"Oh, thanks," Hullahaz rolled his eyes with a smirk. "Glad you'd steal my look..."

Ben laughed, happy to see the cell getting along. Or perhaps, at least seeing Hullahaz and McDonagh getting along.

The buzzer for lunch went off and Ben tossed Kingston's pillow back onto his bed. Holding Hullahaz's hand, he helped him up, wanting to stick by his side during their lunch.

It wasn't that Hullahaz hated him, or even the concept of _them_ , he just felt miserable and broken. He blamed himself above all.

He escorted Ben as much as he could, hoping he'd still choose to sit beside him.

Lunch was fajitas and Kingston was dying.

Ben eagerly took his plate and stuck beside Hullahaz as they made their way to the table.

"Shit, I feel like it's been forever since I had these!"

"Well, at least we know for sure they'll be good," Kingston grinned, dashing to the line to get his fill.

"I could eat a horse," the redhead admitted, following closely behind.

"Wouldn't that be cannibalism?" Hullahaz mumbled.

Ben giggled, sitting down with his food. Hopefully this meal wouldn't lead to him feeling bad later like the last one did. Eating away, he did his best to enjoy the food, though somewhere in the back of his mind, all he could think of was Orozco with Hullahaz until they were old men and passed away in prison.

He wished that _he_ were the one growing old with Hullahaz.

Kingston seemed delighted at the meal, and he very nearly let his secret slip from sheer bliss... Fortunately, that didn't happen. The redhead gave Hullahaz some shit, but in general kept to himself with a small smile on his face.

It was odd to see how they'd evolved. From sitting alone or away from one another, to conversing like family.

If only it were all perfect!

After lunch, Kingston and McDonagh headed off to their activities, with Hullahaz staying inside. He wished he could leave and discuss things with Orozco further, but there was no use crying about it. He also wanted time alone with Ben- but he was deathly afraid of it at the same time.

Ben stayed behind in the cell to work on some more art. Nowadays he only attended to pick up supplies, showing up long enough to be counted as having attended, but not bothering to really hang around. Besides, he was content with pencils. Paint was usually too much work.

Lying beside Hullahaz, he started drawing a more full drawing, showing their cell all holding hands in a circle, going from Ben, to Hullahaz, to Kingston, to McDonagh, and back to Ben. He seemed quite focused on it, trying not to get frustrated when he forgot what one of Kingston's tattoos looked like.

Hullahaz gently whispered a description of the tattoo to Ben, watching him work every so often but not wanting to interrupt his flow, instead turning to lie on his side with his back facing Ben. It had been a long time since he'd wished for freedom, but right now the feeling was incredibly intense.

He remembered, then, that today they'd let him out to do a bit of exercise, and he sighed deeply, thankful for the promise of fresh air.

Ben thanked Hullahaz for the description and finished up his drawing over the next hour or so, pleased with his work and eager to show it off to the others.

Naturally they were more than pleased with the drawing. It went up on the wall, alongside the others.

…

Hullahaz had finally gathered the strength to have a talk with Ben, and just as he was about to speak them...

"Hey, I've-"

Bloody McDonagh had to come in, smacking Ben's ass in the process.

"You gonna come see me fight or not?"

Ben wanted to know what Hullahaz had said, but the smack on the ass had startled him, and he blushed, looking up at McDonagh.

"Y-yeah, you want me to follow you now?" _Hopefully Hullahaz can wait_... He doubted he would though, but having McDonagh feeling disappointed during a fight could turn out a lot worse for him, and he felt that it was the worse of two evils.

The redhead nodded with a grin, pulling Ben after him, murmuring something about wanting him to be there to kiss his bloody lips. He gave a goodbye to the skeleton man and made his way to the courtyard...

The tattooed man sighed. There went his courage. Maybe it was the universe giving him a sign.

Ben wanted to say goodbye to Hullahaz before he left, but didn't get that chance. As excited as he was to see the fight, his heart panged for Hullahaz, and he wished he could be in two places at once.

The fight went exactly as one would imagine, but with the difference that at the end of it, instead of stumbling back with a stupid smile on his face, McDonagh picked Ben up and spun him around, getting blood on his uniform, sure, but it was for a good cause...

Nobody understood the cell's relationship any more.

Ben cackled as he was spun about, so pleased that his love had won another fight. He didn't even mind the blood on him at this point, and when he got the chance, gave McDonagh a kiss on the cheek.

McDonagh responded with a kiss on the lips, and he carried Ben back to the cell, not minding a few bruised ribs... he wanted to have victory sex, but he wouldn't push anything. Besides, hadn't Hullahaz wanted to say something...?

He greeted them with a soft smile, but gradually closed his eyes once McDonagh put Ben down.

Ben gave McDonagh another kiss before sitting down on Hullahaz's bed.

"Hey hun... Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Oh..." He smiled and decided to just let it slide. Who cared? Everyone was doing just fine. There was no need to jeopardize that. "Nah, just about assembly... askin' if you ever wanted to go back."

Ben raised an eyebrow but didn't press.

"O-oh, well I should. It's good practice for me for well, later. I know it's been a while since I've gone and been able to tell you about it..." Suddenly realizing how long it had been since they'd had a conversation about it, he moved closer to Hullahaz and took his hand.

It had been one of the few things Hullahaz was told of what he considered the outside world, even if it was just in another part of the prison... he would like to hear of it again, and have something to bond over with Ben again...

Squeezing his hand, he nodded. "It'll help you..."

He pushed away thoughts of the future by focusing on the Irishman, who was cleaning the blood off his face in the sink. Hullahaz became extra aware of the blood on Ben.

Ben moved closer to Hullahaz, leaning on him.

"Yeah, it will." Looking up at him, he noticed Hullahaz watching McDonagh and he squeezed his hand more tightly.

He ruffled Ben's hair and closed his eyes. Smiling still, he kissed the top of Ben's head and began to stand up, ready for his shower. Maybe he could live like this! Maybe it wasn't so hard...

Putting his jewelry in his box, he stretched. "Gonna shower... need to soak."

Ben yawned, feeling a bit tired. "I hope you have a good shower. Hope you don't mind if I nap though. I'll be here when you return." Laying down in Hullahaz's bed, he stretched, curving his body to the side and looking up at him lovingly.

"I don't mind." Hullahaz put his towel over his shoulder and smiled, flagging down a guard to escort him.

Once he was done, McDonagh looked down at Ben for a moment before sitting beside him, still high from the fight.

Ben looked up at McDonagh, letting his eyes go half-closed as he bit his lip.

Yes, he WAS tired, but he was also coming down from the excitement of the fight he watched, and still had some energy left in him.

" _Yeah?_ "

"Nothing," he murmured, running a hand down Ben's back. He knew he should let him rest, and he would, but he also wanted him to know other things were on the table, if he wanted them to be.

They almost never got the cell to themselves.

"Just admiring the view."

Ben winked at him. "Oh are you now?" Slowly rolling onto his stomach, he raised his ass up a little bit and wiggled it around slowly.

"You like it even _more_ now?" Glancing back, he spread his legs out just a bit.

He chuckled and closed his eyes for a moment before reaching his hands out and caressing Ben's ass. "You know I do."

Leaning in slowly, he gave Ben's ear a little kiss. "Looking delicious, as always... hard for me to resist."

Ben moaned softly and arched up his back a bit,

"Good...." Sliding a hand back, he pulled down his pants, revealing his tattoo more.

McDonagh knew there would be no point in denying Ben what he seemed to be asking for, and besides- what better to help you sleep than some good sex? With a squeeze of Ben's ass and an erection steadily forming in his pants, McDonagh reached under the bed for the lube.

You know, to be prepared.

Rubbing Ben's ass more, sliding a few fingers towards his crotch, waiting for him to either remove his pants entirely or give the redhead order to do so.

"Mmm...." Pushing his pants down a bit more, he moved his legs together again a bit so McDonagh could pull his pants down, using his hands to now pull up his shirt a bit. His pierced nipples rubbed on the sheets and made him moan again. The erection of his was now also pushing against the sheets, and he was slowly grinding against the bed.

McDonagh _adored_ the sight of Ben like this, and therefore he pulled his pants down completely, squeezing his balls softly before spreading his cheeks apart, giving them both a kiss (and a bite- oops) before he hurried to undo his own pants... ouch.

Ben looked back at McDonagh and bit his lip excitedly, eager to take the Irishman's girth inside of him again. There was something _addicting_ about having someone as hung as him pounding his ass, and he longed to feel it again.

Moving himself back a bit, he pressed himself closer to McDonagh's groin.

He wasted no time in uncapping the lube, applying a healthy amount to both his cock and Ben's ass, not wanting to hurt him despite his size.

Moving up, he put his hands on Ben's waist and began to rub his cock between his cheeks. "You ready?"

He knew he'd go crazy soon enough if he didn't start fucking...

Ben tilted his head up and sighed, giving a small pant.

" _Please_..."

He seemed to have entirely disregarded the fact they were going to be having sex on _Hullahaz's_ bed.

So had McDonagh. His one golden rule was disregarded entirely due to the heat of the moment... he needed Ben and he needed him _now_.

Positioning himself, he pushed in halfway with a low grunt. It never got old...

Ben gasped and exhaled slowly, curling up his toes and arching up his back some more. The Irishman's cock was missed, and he moved back on his own, grinding against the blankets again autonomously.

McDonagh couldn't suppress a chuckle at Ben's reaction, and he pushed in all the way, sliding Ben forward a bit.

He'd usually wait for a command, but this time he was going to start on his own after a few seconds... Ben looked so eager.

When the first thrust came, he sighed.

Ben yelped and released a loud, drawn-out moan that echoed around the whole cell. Eyes rolling back, he stretched his arms out in front of himself and felt weak, already melting underneath his lover.

" _Oh god McDonagh_....."

He leaned forward and licked the back of Ben's neck with a deep laugh, hands traveling from his waist to his cock, which he began to stroke.

"You know what? Call me Cillian."

Pushing into him again, he moved to straighten himself out.

Ben felt a spur of energy flow through him once he got permission to use McDonagh's _first_ name.

"Nng... _Cillian_...." His name rolled off his tongue as he felt shivers run down his spine, leaning his head back.

Oh, yes... Oh, _fuck_ yes. A wave of bliss washed over him as he heard his name, his **actual** name being moaned. He pumped into Ben a bit faster as a result, but he made a note to pace himself. He wanted this to last.

Ben cried out and flexed his fingers, pushing his hands into the mattress and tilting his head way back.

His eyes were closed and he let his jaw hang open.

"C-Cill-" Another shout followed by an equally-loud moan, and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out.

He held Ben up a bit to kiss him as he kept on swinging his hips, wanting the younger man to moan directly into his mouth...

Hullahaz could already hear the commotion from the hall, but he had to go inside no matter what, so he'd just ignore it... he'd had a little talk with Orozco about nonsense like territorial dispute...

What he saw, though, was not what he'd expected. He didn't even need to walk in to see. They were on his bed.

He pushed past the guards before they could object and headed off in the opposite direction.

Ben let his tongue flicker out against McDonagh's lips and whimpered.

" _Cillian... I-I'm gonna cum_..." His voice was breathy, and he felt his cock throbbing as his orgasm hit, cum shooting out and making a mess on the blanket. Ben's entire body went weak and he collapsed his body down any place he wasn't held up.

McDonagh held Ben up as best he could, not yet being done... but man had that orgasm been hot. He kept on kissing Ben as he gave a few more thrusts, building his orgasm up before pushing in as far as he would go, reaching his peak...

He didn't want to make a mess of the blankets for a reason he wouldn't realize until later.

-

_"You're in cuffs..."_

_"Yeah, no shit."_

_"What's wrong?"_

_"Just **fuck me** , alright?"_

_"Mmmh... I've been waiting for you to come along, papi..."_

-

Ben had all but passed out on the bed, an eye glancing back up at McDonagh as he felt the other man climaxing deep inside of him. It felt so _good_ to submit to him, to show him what he'd do for him, and tilting his head up so he could speak, he slid a hand down the bed letting it face up at the redhead.

"I _love you Cillian_."

“I love you too, Ben," he replied quietly before collapsing beside him, pulling him close, reluctant to pull out.

Drowsiness began to hit him, and he passed out holding onto Ben tightly. He didn't even care about the mess. He was too happy to have been able to fuck his cutie again.

Ben stayed close to McDonagh, also falling asleep beside him, riding off the ecstasy of both the orgasm and, honestly, everything around that, like Ben finally getting to call McDonagh by his first name.

It really took a lot out of him.

McDonagh was feeling very rested halfway through his sleep, but not really rested enough...

Which was a shame.

"Hey. _Hey_. Do you mind?"

The voice was strong, deep and imposing. McDonagh's eyes instantly shot open.

Ben was groggily awoken from his nap when he heard a familiar voice waking him up.

_Oh no... The mess, the bed, the blanket..._

He couldn't even bring himself to look at him. All Ben could do was shut his eyes and curl up, body shaking.

"Get up, goddammit, I gotta lie down 'fore I pass out."

McDonagh was cursing and apologizing, trying to hoist Ben up to remove him from the bed, but Hullahaz wasn't paying attention.

He didn't even seem all that angry. He just had that cold indifference in his eyes he'd had when Ben had arrived...

Ben grabbed the blanket on his way up, tugging his own off his bed and tossing it down onto Hullahaz's. He balled it up and threw it over into the corner, making a mental note to wash it later, before moving over to McDonagh's ladder and climbing up.

Every effort was made to avoid looking at Hullahaz, but something about the energy in the cell confused him, specifically what was emanating off of Hullahaz, and Ben wanted nothing more than to bury his face in his redheaded lover and pretend that everything was normal in the cell.

The tattooed man made his bed, shed what little of his uniform he'd chosen to put back on, and lay in it, hands crossed over his stomach. All his negativity and internalized pain had been let out in the shower, and now he had no desire to be emotional ever again. A reset.

McDonagh looked over at him as he climbed up. "Look, man... I'm sorry. I forgot..."

"Mm. No big deal," he smirked, "Cillian."

Eyes widening, McDonagh used his head for once and stayed quiet as he headed up.

Ben waited until McDonagh had climbed up beside him before tightly wrapping his arms around him. He was slowly realizing that something in Hullahaz had changed, but he didn't want to think about it yet. He still had some time.

And at the very least he was involved with McDonagh. But even then, he felt tremendously guilty, considering that he could do the same thing to him that he did to Hullahaz.

It made him feel like an awful person, though he did not outwardly show it.

By the time Kingston got back, he realized something was pretty wrong in the cell. He thought they were past this! Doing his best not to flare the issue up, he waved slowly. "Sooo... sup?"

"Not much," Hullahaz replied, reading a porn magazine like it was a grocery list.

"Oh shit, where'd you get that???"

McDonagh bit his lip. He'd been holding Ben for the entire time they'd been without Kingston.

Ben jumped a bit when he heard Kingston come in, curling up more into McDonagh. He held his lover's chin and nuzzled his forehead into him, trying to ignore everything around them.

"Contraband? Damn, I thought you'd given that up!"

"I did... back when everyone was useless at it. But I got people now."

McDonagh looked down at Ben and murmured 'did we royally fuck up, or is he really not fussed?'

Ben kept his eyes closed and sighed quietly.

" _We fucked up_."

He hadn't even looked at the man since earlier that day, but judging by the uncomfortably neutral energy that permeated the walls, along with his tone of voice, he knew something was very off about the whole situation.

In Hullahaz's defense, he did try to remain as neutral and friendly as he could while not showing any of the emotions he'd finally come to show in the past months.

"What are we gonna do?" The redhead whispered.

Opening his eyes, Ben looked up into the green irises of his redheaded partner, feeling his heart ache.

"I...I don't know. I don't know if there's anything TO do, or that we CAN do."

"You're kidding me... there has to be something, right? Guy fucking loves you, he can't stay mad forever."

Looking down at him, McDonagh wrinkled his nose.

"If he even _is_ mad."

Ben couldn't hold his gaze and cast his eyes down.

"I think he's just _sad_. But I'm not going to break things off with you if... If he can't handle that I'm not monogamous."

It was the first time Ben had ever said that or even _thought_ that way. He had always put Hullahaz above the others, but considering what Ben had heard the other day in the showers, it seemed like this was becoming the easiest way for them to break things off for his inevitable leave.

In a way, Ben didn't want to fight it because he felt it would be better for everyone. Even if it hurt like utter hell.

"I mean... is that what it is, though? He didn't seem to mind before... or with R-" catching himself, he shook his head. "Anyway, I... I dunno. Doesn't feel right to me."

He shrugged and unwrapped the bandages on his hands. He'd always wanted to be as honest as he could with his cellmates.

He felt like _he_ needed a shower now.

Ben wanted to say how the Roger thing was different in a number of respects, but it didn't matter, nor did he want to talk about it again.

Watching him undo his bandages, Ben placed one of his hands on McDonagh's, and closed his eyes.

"No matter what though, Cillian, please don't forget," He looked back up into the redhead's eyes, "I really do love you. That isn't going to change."

Part of Ben still loved _Roger_. He was undeniably speaking the truth.

"Hey, I'm not saying it _has_ to change, I'm just saying this isn't... well, it isn't how I wanted things to end up."

Truth be told, he still had feelings for dumb straight Kingston. That was just the way the cookie crumbled.

Rubbing Ben's arm, he gave him a reassuring smooch to the side of his head- which was, up until then, Hullahaz's thing.

Ben hugged him a little more tightly.

"Yeah, me neither."

Part of him wanted to hop off the bed now and just say "I'm sorry" to Hullahaz before leaving the cell for a bit, but it wouldn't help a damn thing.

Things just... Sucked.

The sickly sweet smell of smoke filled the cell for a second before the window was cracked open, and Hullahaz leaned by the window just as he had on the first day.

Kingston went over to the other two, looking a little confused.

"Is something the matter? You guys are all... Cooped up."

"Yeah... I suppose."

Ben wasn't terribly keen on having Kingston worm his way into the situation, so he shrugged.

"It's nothing."

"Kay."

He wasn't going to press if they weren't going to share. This stressed McDonagh out, causing him to groan loudly and lie on his back.

Hullahaz looked over his shoulder with a mildly inquisitive expression. _What could you have to whine about?_

It certainly wasn't nothing, but having a conversation about someone as if they weren't in the room wouldn't make anyone feel any better. And honestly, he didn't really know where he'd begin.

The desire to go shower was strong, though he wasn't too sure if he could get anyone to join him. Turning to McDonagh, he whispered, "Shower?"

Ben wasn't necessarily trying to get away from Hullahaz, but he certainly felt uncomfortable staying in the cell.

McDonagh looked _very_ reluctant to get up, **especially** for something like that, which would just serve to exacerbate whatever situation they'd created, but he couldn't say no to Ben.

Sitting up after a moment, he said "Alright. Let's go."

Kingston was about to ask, again, but he refrained. Whatever had happened, he was certainly hoping he'd be able to spend more time with Astrid sooner.

Ben slid down off the bed and grabbed his uniform, putting it on while grabbing his towel. Their shower didn't need to be long, but he needed to use the bathroom and clean up a bit. It'd help him think better if he were cleaner.

Waiting for McDonagh to follow him, he held off until they were out of earshot of the cell before saying anything.

"I'm not trying to avoid him, I promise. I just wanna clear my head, wash up, and then face the situation. That's all."

Following closely behind him, his eyes kept trailing back to the cell, even as he made his way down the hall.

"You don't need to justify yourself to me, I'm not gonna question anything. I mean... I want to apologize again, but he might punch me in the face."

Hands behind his head, he picked up the pace a bit.

"And I'm pretty sure I'd deserve it."

Ben didn't immediately reply, but after a few seconds, he sighed and followed with, "Yeah, I feel bad too."

Once they got into the showers, Ben made a quick trip to the toilet before returning to the shower beside McDonagh, and stripping down, turned on the water and began to bathe.

He wasn't sure how he was going to face Hullahaz again, but something inside of him told him that affection would be unwelcomed, or at the very least, would come across as patronizing.

_Is... is this it for us? Is this how it ends?_

McDonagh silently pondered whether he should have made a move at all. He hadn't suspected anything was wrong with Hullahaz, except perhaps that he'd been more quiet, but his support for Ben had never wavered... Maybe he'd been keeping it together only barely and this had been the last straw.

He felt sick to his stomach.

Scary as the man had been to him, he'd gotten to see him open up and become more _human_ , and now he was afraid he'd be the cause of him closing up again.

All because of a relationship that would most likely cease to exist when they got out.

He scrubbed his hair with a deep sigh.

Ben was the one who kept hoping that maybe things could somehow continue post-prison, even between he and Hullahaz, but it was the shower conversation he had overheard that had cemented in his mind the idea that Hullahaz didn't want to continue their relationship so Ben's leaving wouldn't hurt him so badly, and so that he wouldn't be lonely when he left. They had no future together, and especially after the things Ben had done (the whole Roger situation, falling in love with McDonagh, and especially having sex with him in Hullahaz's bed), he knew how now more than ever, Hullahaz certainly had valid reason to break things off.

And Ben didn't want to fight it, because to him, fighting it would be a very selfish thing for him to do.

Even with McDonagh, Ben had hope that perhaps things could continue on the outside, so long as their connection stayed open, but even _that_ was perhaps too much to ask for.

Or living any life that wasn't the one that got him in there. No one, not even his aunt, should have to put up with him, in his eyes.

Ben did not cry as he finished showering, but his whole body felt weak and he was ready to pass out in his bed.

The more he thought about it, the more awful he felt. He'd been a shithead from the start, and Hullahaz... Well, he'd admittedly been pretty mean too, but he'd always ended up doing what was best for Ben.

Almost always, anyway.

He'd given up a lot for the guy, put a lot on the line for the _entire_ cell, and McDonagh had gone and shown him disrespect. He'd never wanted to feed into the alpha male bullshit, but now it felt like betraying a friend.

He wasn't sure what to do. Or say. He just went with whatever.

"He, uh... He really does love you, you know."

This seemed to be what cracked his facade. Ben looked down as he was pulling on his shirt, feeling his chest tighten and face grow hot. His eyes welled up, but he took a deep, shaky breath, and exhaled slowly, repeating the process a few times.

"I..." He wanted to say "I know," but the words wouldn't come.

"...Yeah."

After a moment of silence, he gathered up his things. "Let's get back."

It didn't feel fair of him to say that Hullahaz loved him, because in Ben's mind, he _shouldn't_. As much as Ben loved him, letting him go was the best thing for both of them, and Hullahaz wouldn't have to feel used anymore.

"Shit, don't cry. I'm sure... Everything's going to be fine, yeah? It's silly to think something like this is going to, you know. Change things."

He pulled Ben into a hug, rubbing his back and shoulders. He wasn't all that great at comforting, was he? It had been so long since he'd done it.

Nodding, he got dressed quickly and followed behind Ben... Had he not helped at all?

Probably not, no.

The first thing he did upon re-entering was to talk to Hullahaz, though. He felt like he had to.

"Hey, man, I said it before, but... I'm really sorry. What I did wasn't good-"

"It's _fine_."

"No, it's not. I was careless and a fuckhead and-"

Hullahaz turned around with a small smile.

"Let it go, yeah? I get why you wouldn't wanna fuck on Kingston's bed."

"HEY."

Ben sat down in one of the chairs once they arrived back in the room after grabbing a fresh piece of paper and a pencil. There weren't any drawing ideas in his head presently, but it helped him look busier. Initially he drew spirals absentmindedly.

As he listened to the conversation though, he felt something welling up in him, and without looking over at the other men, he sighed before saying, "I'm sorry too." Pausing, he turned his head a bit and looked over at Hullahaz, every bit of his body feeling horrendously guilty and sad the longer he looked at him.

"For... a lot of things." He'd paused his drawing while he talked, but resumed doodling shortly after.

Hullahaz wasn't entirely sure how to respond. He'd already steeled himself emotionally after the utter breakdown he had in the showers prior to having raunchy handcuffed sex, and he didn't want to immediately put his walls down, especially not when his head was _begging_ him not to be an idiot and let anyone in again.

At the same time, though, he'd like to give Ben some reassurance and pretend that everything could go back to normal, that he'd be fine and actually loved...

But that wouldn't happen, would it? Who could love him? No one. Not even his own family.

He could hope Ben would go back to cuddling him or at the very least looking at him properly, but the faintest sting of betrayal flickered within him still, and he knew it wouldn't happen.

"It's fine," he replied, wearing that same smile. Not wide, but genuine enough. "Shit happens."

Ben snorted. "Yeah, shit happens, and it then it happens again and again." Looking back up at Hullahaz now with more energy, he had a face that conveyed regret, sympathy, and longing all at once. Of course he wanted things to go back to how they were, but they wouldn't. It wasn't fair to Hullahaz to pretend like everything was fine and always would be.

He maintained eye contact for several seconds before his eyes dropped down a bit. "And I'm... I'm just sorry you got caught up in it."

"It doesn't have to be so bad-" he began, before he realized the other had already made up his mind, and although he didn't say anything, he conveyed it.

That was it, then.

He didn't do anything to betray how he felt. He didn't fight. He didn't protest, or beg, or yell, or cry, or laugh bitterly. He didn't even acknowledge the other two men watching on in horror.

He merely shrugged and turned around, climbing into bed, facing the wall.

"It was my choice," he said, before closing his eyes and shutting everyone out.

Ben didn't have the words to respond, and inside he could feel the fire in his heart die, leaving nothing but a cold, still, lifeless shell. His walls were going up, and he closed his eyes, steeling himself to the reality of his situation.

As much as he cared about McDonagh, he worried that perhaps in his emotional withdrawing, he'd wind up shutting him out, and that the man wouldn't receive the affection and love he deserved, but somewhere inside of him, he knew that there was still a lot of love there for him, and that the one connection he would feel to keep him in touch with his emotions would be the one he had with McDonagh.

Still, in this moment, he turned back to the table and flipped the paper over, starting on a quick sketch of some flowers.

Confused and afraid, Kingston and McDonagh exchanged looks of bewilderment, trying to think of how to fix the situation before reaching the silent conclusion that it couldn't be fixed.

Kingston's eyes began to water, because he didn't understand a single thing that had gone on, yet he knew something had broken again, and probably for good.

McDonagh couldn't shake his guilt, and he was itching to punch something- someone. But he couldn't hurt anyone here.

Hullahaz just wanted a new day to come.

The following week was long... _too_ long. Ben had maintained his relationship with McDonagh, although it was clear that the break up had really affected Ben, if only in the opposite way that everyone probably assumed it would.

Up to this point, Ben had always been the most emotional and vulnerable one of the cell, and that aspect of him had helped the others to remember their humanity, despite being in prison. And having him lock that part away was probably jarring for _everyone_. He didn't do it for the same reason that Hullahaz did, though.

He'd done it because he felt like such a mess in everyone's lives otherwise, and that perhaps reminding them of their emotions had only made things like the gravity of their situations worse. This was _prison_. You didn't go here to have a good time or to make friends. Ben had forgotten that by day three, and inadvertently caused more emotional pain in his cellmates than anything. He'd also nearly gotten Roger killed.

Being emotional had only served to ruin the lives of the people he cared so much about, and for the rest of his time there, he would refuse to hurt another person, physically or emotionally. It didn't matter what happened to him, so long as he stopped ruining everything good he'd ever had in his life.

Somewhere deep inside of him, his father was holding him close and whispering in his ear.

That week had been one of the most stressful for the cell. Hullahaz had tried to be 'optimistic', which translated into him being neutral and a bit eerie in how he approached things, with that ghost of a smile accompanied by a veil of smoke over his eyes. It was terrifying, because even though he didn't show it, everyone could tell he was absolutely broken inside.

He was doing all he could not to begin shouting... He thought he was doing well.

Kingston kept pacing back and forth, waiting for news from Astrid, and crying a little bit each night as his family had turned into a foreign entity he could find no footing with.

McDonagh did his best to comfort Ben, but he always felt dirty doing anything in Hullahaz's company. He felt like a failure.

The notice came that day, slipped under the bars. The tattooed man opened it, quickly pocketing what it said.

Ben had been sitting at the table sketching when he noticed Hullahaz receiving a note under the door. Curious, he stood up and walked over to him.

"What's that about?" His expression was neutral, aside from a raised eyebrow.

"Notice," he replied softly, lacking intonation.

"What, like a summons?" Kingston asked, sitting up. Hullahaz shook his head.

"Cell transfer," he murmured.

McDonagh, who'd been doing pushups by the window, immediately stood up.

"Wait, what?"

Ben was taken aback and felt his heart drop from his chest all the way into his feet. The news had taken him entirely off-guard, and he almost felt himself choke up, but no tears were anywhere near his eyes.

"Why? Why the transfer?" He paused for a moment. "And where to?"

Inside, he already knew where.

"Block C," he replied, looking down as if he wanted to say more, feel more, but was too afraid to do so. "Transfer specifics are..."

He pulled out the piece of paper as McDonagh walked over, a look of shock and pain on his face.

"Disorderly conduct... lowers morale... poses a threat to inmates."

"And they didn't think of all that before?" Kingston jumped up. "What do they _mean_ , disorderly conduct?"

He merely shrugged.

Ben narrowed his eyes and nearly snatched the paper from Hullahaz's hand to read it. "That's bullshit, you haven't been a threat to us since I got here, _if_ that. Seriously, what the fuck is this about?"

Something in Ben made him want to hear Hullahaz say it, but he also never wanted to hear it either. His body was tearing itself apart.

He was _panicking_ , even if he didn't want to show it.

He turned the piece of paper towards Ben, showing that he wasn't making up the words. With another shrug, he said, "Maybe someone filed a complaint."

McDonagh narrowed his eyes as well and took a step forward. "You don't seem too bothered about this. Don't tell me you asked for the transfer yourself!"

Looking McDonagh in the eyes, Hullahaz grunted. "Think what you want."

Ben knew it was one of two things, and he didn't care for either one at all. Walking back over to the chair, he leaned over onto the table as he sat down, resting his head in his hand as he resumed drawing.

He didn't have any words, feeling as though "we'll miss you" was sappy and inappropriate, but anything else would wind up being rude. So he stayed silent.

_Okay, well, seeing as it had such a huge impact on you..._

"You can't seriously leave!"

Hullahaz didn't respond, merely beginning to gather his belongings, and McDonagh spoke up.

"You're just gonna go? Just like that? What about us?"

"What _about_ you?" Was all he replied with before resuming his chore.

"Don't we mean anything to you?"

No response. McDonagh's vision went red, and before Kingston could catch him, he threw himself at Hullahaz.

Ben quickly turned once he heard the sounds of fighting, and despite the very real danger he was putting himself into, tried to force himself between McDonagh and Hullahaz. Pushing back on McDonagh to get him away from Hullahaz, he closed his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth.

"Cillian, stop!! It's not gonna change anything!!" A few tears left his eyes as he strained himself, desperate to keep his ex-husband safe. The one last good thing he could do for him.

Hullahaz did not intend to fight back. He barely reached to Ben putting himself between them, only putting a light hand on his back to keep him at a safe distance were McDonagh to continue his assault.

"Can't you see? He's leaving us like we're nothing! Like we don't matter!"

"Don't pretend that ain't exactly what you wanted," the tattooed man replied bitterly, finally speaking with a shred of emotion since the situation started.

"What...?"

Ben moved back a little bit, still snarling a little bit.

"We NEVER wanted you to leave! Don't even give me that bullshit!" Taking a long breath, he added, "And if leaving us is what you want, if it'll make you happy, then _fine_. Go be with him. Saves us the trouble of a long and painful goodbye."

The emotions Ben had been holding back were leaking through, and his vision clouded up. Shaking his head, he calmed down a bit, lowering his eyes and his voice.

"We can't stop you from leaving, but we're sad to see you go."

McDonagh was now being held back by Kingston, but he very clearly wanted to yell at Hullahaz some more.

At Ben's distress, he merely laughed, shaking his head.

"Sure, alright."

Collecting the last of his belongings, he leaned down to press the beeper on his ankle. Not looking at any of them, he added, "I really didn't ask for the transfer."

"Then why go?" Kingston asked softly, terrified that he was losing his family for good.

It took a while for Hullahaz to reply. What could he say to get them off his back? The guard was approaching...

"Nothin' left for me to do here."

Ben looked up as he saw the guard entering the room, and he waited until Hullahaz had been cuffed and was being led out with his things that he said, "It's Orozco."

Moving back over to the table, he grabbed another sheet of paper and started to sketch Hullahaz... with his face scribbled out.

"God dammit, you can't leave us for-" McDonagh began, but soon became painfully aware that not only could he, but he would.

As much as Hullahaz wanted to say goodbye, he knew it wouldn't do any good. They didn't want a goodbye.

"Don't go," Kingston whispered, but he was already being hauled away by the guard.

Before leaving, he turned to look at Ben one last time.

" _Szerettelek annyira_."

Ben had closed his eyes once he heard Hullahaz speak to him, and his gut clenched up. He couldn't understand what he said, but the words were similar to something he has said before when they were close, and he knew it was about that.

The feelings that erupted from that were _agonizing_.

Looking down at his drawing, Ben quickly changed to drawing himself hugging the faceless Hullahaz already on the page, and as the realization dawned on him that his ex-husband really was gone from the cell, he felt his lines getting shaky, a few droplets landing on the paper, startling him.

"W-what...?"

Moving back away from the table, he wiped away the tears he didn't realize were coming up, and it took every fiber of his being not to bolt out of the room and chase him down and hug him tightly.

McDonagh's desire to hold Ben and comfort him was conflicted with his need to punch someone in the face, and he ended up clutching at his head and groaning before he felt strong enough to pull the smaller man close, not wanting to hurt him but needing to be there for him.

Kingston kept repeating "it's okay, it's okay" to himself as tears ran down his cheeks, the stress of all his situations getting to him at once.

Orozco welcomed Hullahaz with open arms and a wide smile, but he, despite having had no expression as he walked to the block, merely collapsed on the floor and began to cry, finally having a space where he could show his emotions without repercussion. He cried, openly and continuously, for what felt like the first time in three years.

Ben closed his eyes as he was held, transporting himself to another place. He didn't want to express any emotions, and he let the tears roll down his cheeks without adding to them.

_I will push through this, it's alright..._

But it wasn't alright. It wouldn't be alright ever again. And his cellmates needed him. If he didn't open up now, they might never recover.

When he opened his eyes and saw how badly Kingston was taking it, then turned to see how upset McDonagh still was, his vision went white as he let his crumbling walls topple and the light pour in. Body beginning to shake violently, Ben felt his eyes wet up almost instantly, and as his mouth fell open, the longest, despair-filled wail left his body.

McDonagh held him all the more tightly, rocking him back and forth as he tried to compose himself, failing miserably as all he could think of was that Hullahaz was a traitor, that he'd made them love him just so he'd turn around and break their hearts, that Ben had never stopped loving him and could now do nothing about it... and that all this had been his fault.

Kingston cried out in shock at hearing Ben wail, and he ran over to them, wrapping his arms around them to tell them they were all going to be okay. It was going to be fine.

Hullahaz, having not cried in so long, fell asleep in the lap of the strange man who had offered him a chance to get away from all the pain... he never wanted to wake up.

But one must always wake up eventually.

Ben no longer felt himself in his body. He was somewhere far away surrounded by two people he loved dearly, riding off into the distance on a wave of shared grief.

Their family truly was broken.


	12. Broken Family

Over the next two days, Ben actively avoided Orozco, not wanting to see him gloat or anything of the sort. As much as he wanted Hullahaz to be with someone who would be there for him and make him happy, he so desperately wanted it to be _him_ , though it never would be. He had brought this upon himself.

Astrid sent a summons to Kingston, a complete wreck herself. She had only bad news for him, and loathed the fact that she only ever seemed to meet him to give him bad news. The previous night, when she'd found out about the result of his appeal, she'd drunk herself into a stupor, no longer worrying about the fact she was pregnant, since as she promised Kingston, she'd abort the child if the appeal was rejected, so there was nothing to lose. Remembering she had work in the morning only made her drink more.

Waking up every hour or so, she barely got any sleep that night, waking up to vomit and cry. Her hopes with the love of her life were pushed back for so long, and she pulled on her hair so hard that her scalp was sore in the morning.

By the time she got to her office, she was hungover, wearing jeans and a blouse and a baggy blue jacket. Her make up was poorly applied, which she tried to fix while she waited for Kingston to arrive. He was her first meeting of the day.

Hullahaz looked _different_ , for lack of a better word. He looked more cared for, more done-up... emotional release had done a lot for him as well, and he now seemed a lot more relaxed... he never let anyone outside know how much he was hurting.

McDonagh kept trying to get onto fights, but people merely looked down on him. They accused him of being a bigshot, a wannabe. It made his blood boil, yet nothing ever came of it.

Kingston did little else other than worry, and worry he did as he went to see Astrid, hands in his pockets. Opening the door, he spoke before even entering the room.

"It's all gone tits up."

Astrid leaped up from her chair and wrapped her arms around him, closing the door in the process.

Her just-fixed make-up was already smeared by fresh tears, and she didn't speak for the first minute or so, just wanting to be held by him.

"I-I know... it really has..."

Kingston held her closely, not sure why she was so upset since he hasn't had the chance to speak to her, but fearing the worst. He rubbed her back and held back his own tears.

"They moved Hullahaz. The cell's broken."

His voice was barely a whisper.

Astrid furrowed her brow more and buried her face into his chest, hugging him more tightly.

" _I'm so sorry Stuart_..." Her heart went out to him, and she wished she could do a better job of comforting him right now, but instead she only had bad news.

"C-can we sit on the floor together?" She was already tugging on him a bit to do so, wanting to cuddle close to him when she delivered the verdict about his case.

He looked back momentarily, checking to see that the door was closed before dropping to the floor with her, putting his arm around her to kiss her face.

He knew what she was going to say, yet still he wasn't ready for it.

"It's not your fault. It's..." he took a deep breath. "It's nobody's fault."

" _I'm sorry_..." Her words were a faint whisper.

"I-I thought... I really thought it would get approved..." Gripping his shirt tightly, she buried her face into his neck and began to weep quietly.

His heart sank, stomach becoming a tight knot. He thought he would vomit. Holding onto Astrid, he began to cry quietly, knowing now that his chances of being a father were gone, and that he'd be unable to live by her side for another two years at _least_.

He didn't even want to know why it had been rejected.

Astrid could feel him tense up and she held him as close to her as she could, whispering the words "I'm sorry" over and over.

She felt like a complete and utter failure, especially after heaping that news onto him after he told her that their cell had completely fractured.

There was nothing she could do to help him now, aside from being a shoulder to cry on.

Moving a hand up to his face, Astrid held his cheek and wiped away his tears with her thumb, leaning her head up to kiss his jaw slowly.

He gently moved her away, holding her hands in his momentarily. "Don't, Astrid..." Choking back sobs, he turned away. "You did all you could..."

Shutting his eyes tightly, he slowly let go of her hands.

"I can't be with you, and I'll only drag you down if I try... I'm so sorry... I failed you, and I failed our family, jus-just like I failed every other family I've ever had, and I just... I don't deserve comfort... I don't deserve anything."

That was probably why his appeal had been rejected. He had been a failure since birth, and he'd have nothing to offer society when he got out, so why let him out sooner?

He'd have nothing to offer Astrid, either.

Astrid held his arms and looked into his shut eyes, staying close to his face.

"Stuart, listen to me. You deserve all the love in the world. You're not a failure, and you're still young. You have lots of life to live, and just because the beginning of your life wasn't the way you hoped it'd be, the rest of your life _can_." She pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes.

"I won't stop trying to get you out sooner, but even then, all you have to do is wait out your sentence and then you get to take on life again, try something new. And I promise you," she moved a hand to his cheek, "I _promise_ I will be here for you along the way, and when you get out."

He wiped his tears away, clutching onto her anew with desperation, wanting with all his might to be as far away from there as he could be, with her, on a tropical island where no one would know his name...

"But you shouldn't wait for me like that... I'm a good for nothing criminal, I could never give you what you wanted... I'm... I'm so sorry, Astrid... I'm so sorry..."

The last thing he wanted was to shackle her to a life in which she'd be miserable when she deserved the world.

"I just want what's best for you..."

"But baby, all I want is you! You're not some good for nothing criminal to me, you're the kindest, most considerate man I know. You love with all your heart, don't have any ill-will towards anyone who doesn't deserve it, and you _care_ so much!"

Moving to kiss his lips, she felt more tears slide down her cheeks. "Please Stuart... _I love you_..."

Trying his best not to cry into the kiss, Kingston pulled her close and held her in his arms, doing his best to cradle her. "I lov- I love you too, Astrid... I ju-just... I wanna get out, I wanna get out and be with you, and be a dad..."

He dissolved into sobs, completely unable to articulate. Although it had been his idea to abort, he'd built false hope within himself that he'd be let out early.

It was gone now.

"I know babe, I know... And you will one day, I promise you..."

Her hand moved to her stomach and she swallowed the lump in her throat that formed. "E-everything will be fine..." Kissing away his tears, she felt herself shaking a bit, and she leaned her head in close to his again to cry.

He had no way of replying to her, his cries absolutely overtaking him, shaking his frame as he bent over, accidentally squashing her a bit.

This went on for nearly their entire session, until he thought he'd pass out or puke.

Astrid held him the whole time, crying along with him until her own sobs faded into whimpers. She didn't want to say goodbye to him, so she set up another appointment in three days to check up and spend more time together. Astrid even promised that they could meet three times a week every week until he got out, barring any time she needed to keep their meetings on the DL or holidays when she wouldn't be able to make it into work.

He accepted this as the only happiness he'd have right now, and any time with her was good, even if they had bad times ahead of them. Would he be able to spend Christmas with her someday...?

Holding onto her with puffy red eyes, he moved to stand. He didn't want to leave her side, he wanted to stay under her desk draped at her feet so neither of them would ever feel alone again...

Astrid pulled away enough to look into his eyes, and giving him a soft smile, kissed him slowly, not wanting to pull away.

"I love you so much Stuart, and we will weather this storm together. And once you're out, we can focus on our future, getting married, raising a family, and just being happy _together_."

"You... Y-you wanna marry me...?" Kingston wiped at his face, desperately trying to grab onto anything that would make him happier. He leaned in to nuzzle her, whining. He didn't deserve her at all...

"I love you too, I just wish... I just wish you could be in our cell. With us... Make things right again..." Maybe things would feel more complete then.

Astrid nuzzled him back happily. "I can't stay with you of course, but perhaps I could ask the guards to let me visit? For a group therapy thing, I could tell them. It's my risk to take, but they'll probably keep guards outside your cell.

"Plus... I've never seen your cell before."

"It's nothing to look at..." He chuckled quietly, wiping his eyes again. "Two bunk beds, a table, a few chairs, tiny lockers... A sink... The only good stuff is the art..."

Sniffling, he pulled her into a deeper hug. "There's still so much I gotta tell you about me..."

Astrid had heard that Ben drew, so she figured it was his art. "I can't wait to see."

Giving him another kiss, she closed her eyes and cuddled into him.

"I wanna know all about you, my handsome lion man." She'd tail ended her words with a giggle. Having picked up on Kingston's frequent usage of lion terms, she figured she'd throw it back at him.

His face went red, and he pushed his palms into her back in a sort of massage... He couldn't help himself. "How'd you... Guess..."

That was one of many things he was hoping to talk to her in depth about. But now he had to go... He had to go back to his broken cell, still carrying the weight of his bad news.

"Please come visit soon..." He leaned down to kiss her forehead, reluctant to let go of her.

Astrid held his jaw and kissed him back, equally unwilling to let go, but fearing that a guard would knock on the door.

She helped him up off the floor.

"I'll look into it as soon as I go on break later today, I promise hun."

She could think about the abortion planning later.

He tried a big smile, just for her- one of the smiles that showed his fangs- but fearing it would falter, he couldn't hold it for very long. Pulling her close again for a quick hug, he turned around after saying yet another "I love you", feeling the tears come to his eyes again.

"Please take care of yourself..."

He stumbled out of her office, eager to see her again, yet devastated about, well, pretty much everything else that was going on.

The cell was dark and deserted when he got back, and he curled up in bed.

"I love you too, and please... Take care of yourself too..."

Wiping away her tears, she set to work fixing her make up before the next inmate arrived.

Ben came back from a walk out in the courtyard, in the rain, and when he walked back, he was mentally planning his path to his tank top and pants, which he wanted to change into.

But seeing Kingston lying on his bed in the dark made him pause, and he sat down beside him.

"Hey, how did things go with Astrid?" He knew the answer couldn't be anything other than "not good," but asked anyway.

"It went shit," he replied earnestly, eyes closed. He sat up slowly, though, appreciating Ben's efforts to reach out and ask. He knew Ben had been taking things really rough, and that was why he was so withdrawn... Kingston had to make an effort too.

"No appeal... But in a way, you know, it's..."

He sighed deeply, running a hand through his dreads.

"It's not so bad... I get to stay with you guys..."

McDonagh had stayed after his activity, wanting to help clean up, but he was making his way back to the cell slowly. The day was so gray...

Ben leaned down to hug Kingston, rubbing his head on the other man.

"I'm so sorry... I know how much you wanted to get out..." Rubbing Kingston's arm with his hand, he did smile a little bit.

"Yeah, that's true." He held Kingston tighter, afraid that if he let go, that he'd suddenly lose him too.

Kingston could feel the tears welling in his eyes, but he kept them in, pulling Ben close to give him a strong hug, knowing right now, he was the only pillar of support he had. "Better than nothing..."

When the cell door opened and McDonagh walked in, it took all of Kingston's strength to not start bawling then and there.

"Oh, shit..." The redhead put his drenched shirt aside, making his way over to them. "Bad news...?"

Kingston just nodded.

Ben looked up at him and pulled him into the hug. "The appeal didn't go through." It was all he needed to say.

"Fuck," McDonagh murmured, pulling Kingston (and Ben by extension) into a bone-crushing hug. It was one bad thing after another. It didn't even cross his mind to be happy that Kingston would still be around them.

After the hug had drawn on just as long as the silence, Kingston whispered.

"I was gonna be a dad."

Ben's eyes shot open wide, and his jaw dropped.

"A _dad_!?" He was smart and kept his voice low, but was still in shock.

"Was?" McDonagh asked sadly. Kingston merely nodded at both questions before his frame began to shake, and he held them even tighter if possible as his warm tears began to drip down their shoulders.

"K-Kingston... I'm so sorry..." Ben had no concept of what it would be like to be a dad (or at least create a child), and couldn't really relate, but he knew how much he adored Astrid, and the idea of starting a family with her only to _not_ wind up having it had to be too painful for words.

All Ben could do was hug him more tightly.

Thunder began to rumble outside as they hugged, with Kingston somehow feeling even _worse_ about the situation, even with the promise of seeing Astrid again soon... McDonagh was absolutely heartbroken. Kingston would make such a _fun_ dad, he thought... Good natured and goofy, and far better suited for it now that they'd met Ben...

…

Over in block C, Orozco paced around contentedly.

"Thunder makes me think of things to come..."

Hullahaz looked up from his magazine over at the man pacing, eyebrow raised. "Whaddyamean?"

"You'll see, my darling," Orozco replied, turning to face him. "You'll see soon."

At that very moment, Orozco's acolytes were collecting rags in bulk, and shipments of well disguised flammable material were being carted into the kitchen. The pipe bombs would take a bit to make yet, as the process had to be kept an absolute secret, but the day was coming...

…

Ben began to sit back further on Kingston's bed.

"I don't know if either of you really want to, but would it be alright if we made a cuddle pile for a bit? I just..." His head lowered a bit and he sighed. "It's just what feels right right now..."

McDonagh and Kingston didn't have to agree with words- they just all huddled on the bed, holding each other, wishing for once things would go right.

And then McDonagh remembered something.

"Fuck."

Ben turned his head to look at McDonagh. "What's up?" He didn't want this moment to be cut short, since every moment he spent lying with them helped him feel better.

"I think we're getting a new cellmate," he replied quietly, and Kingston groaned. Even though they'd become better people since Ben, they weren't sure they were equipped to be nice to newcomers still.

"I fuckin' opt out..."

Ben's gut clenched. He didn't _want_ a new cellmate, especially since they'd just take over Hullahaz's bed and it was still too soon!! It would _always_ be too soon!!

"Oh god no..." He groaned and curled up into the bed a little bit closer to McDonagh, shutting his eyes.

"With luck, they'll assign him somewhere else, but... Way things are going for us? Pfffffffff..." McDonagh idly placed his hand on Ben's back, petting it. "Gonna have to be on our best behavior."

"Why don't we just scare 'em off?" Kingston muttered bitterly. He didn't really mean it, though...

Ben leaned up and tapped Kingston's lips with his fingers.

"Just show off your fangs, that'll do it." He still tried to crack jokes about Kingston, but his heart wasn't really in it anymore.

Still, he sorely hoped that new a new inmate wouldn't be joining them...

Kingston smiled through his tears, nodding at Ben. "Yeah, it'll send 'im home alright..." As jokingly hostile as they were, they knew they had to be prepared for the very real possibility of a new cellmate...

One who might just be the new Hullahaz.

-

_"Each time I miss Chester, I miss Ben, too."_

_"It'll hurt less each day, I promise. And one day you won't be hurting anymore... Besides, you have me, right?"_

_"Yeah."_

-

In the next week, Astrid had managed to convince the higher ups to let her visit Kingston in his cell, keeping guards just outside but allowing the door to be closed.

She arrived just after breakfast, eager to meet McDonagh and see the cell for the first time. Her walk down there had only been mildly terrifying, but fortunately she wasn't cat called as much as she thought she would.

"Stu- er, Kingston _?" Probably what I should use_... "I'm here."

Kingston nearly jumped up when he saw her, wanting to run up to her but knowing it wasn't a wise move by any means. Still, rising to his feet, he couldn't help but smile at her and whisper her name as he walked over to her.

McDonagh lifted his head, curiously looking over the edge of his bunk to see a blonde woman in sharp attire...

Was that Astrid? He could feel his heart in his stomach. He didn't know how to react to meeting her. Maybe he should pretend to be asleep...

Astrid walked into the cell and instantly admired the artwork that was up around on the walls. Her eyes eventually trailed down to the empty bed below one of the beds, where Hullahaz likely slept, and her gut clenched a bit.

But it wasn't until she looked up at the bed above Kingston's that she spotted a muscular redhead who she instantly knew was McDonagh.

Not eager to reopen old wounds, she sat down on the bed beside Kingston. "Wow, this place really is something."

Ben was out at the store buying some snacks and supplies.

"It's terrible," Kingston laughed, holding her hand as cautiously as he could, not wanting to be caught doing anything out of the ordinary by the men outside. "But as I said, the art makes it better... Oh!"

Looking up at the bed above them, he smiled. "McDonagh! Come down and meet Astrid!"

McDonagh froze in place, taking a deep breath before beginning to stir.

"Yeah... I'll be right down."

Kingston grinned at Astrid. "Ben's out, but... He'll be back soon."

Astrid nodded at him and smiled, but she was still nervous about really getting to properly meet McDonagh. Fiddling with one of her hands, she turned to Kingston.

"It's nice to finally be here though. You guys have a nice setup."

"We try, I mean... May as well make it seem livable, you know?"

McDonagh hit the ground with a slight clearing of his throat, one hand in his uniform pocket, the other extended.

"Astrid. It's. It's nice to meet you."

Astrid looked up at the man, feeling her gut clench as she realized how _muscular_ he was. Shaking his hand, she held her gaze steady with his in an attempt to avoid ogling him.

"Nice to meet you too, McDonagh." Leaning forward a bit, she added, "I usually address prisoners by their first names, but I'll do last names here."

"I mean, if you want to call me Cillian..." He shrugged, putting his hand back in his pocket. Kingston was grinning like an idiot, and all McDonagh could think of was the letter he'd sent.

"He knows about stuff, so don't feel the need to be too secretive," Kingston smiled. "Oh, and let me make some tea..."

Astrid wasn't too sure how good the tea would be when it was made in a prison cell, but she wasn't one to turn down and offer like this from a lover. She watched him stand up to go make it before turning her attention back on McDonagh (and less on his body).

"So how are things holding up in here? You know, since..." She halfway gestured towards Hullahaz's old bed.

Kingston froze in the middle of boiling the water, and McDonagh's face fell slightly. They tried not to talk about it. Trying to be polite, however, he figured he'd answer... Better when Ben wasn't here, anyway.

"Uh, we manage. You know. Life goes on." Sighing, he shrugged. "It's hard. It felt like a stab in the back, but it's not like we can get him back now."

Astrid sunk down on the bed a bit, realizing she had struck a nerve. _Already fucking up_...

"Y-yeah..." She rubbed her arm nervously, unsure of what to say next.

"Do you usually stay in here or go out of your cell more? Or keep a balance? Sorry if this is a weird question, I'm just curious."

"I try to be out as much as possible," Kingston chirped, trying to raise the mood of the place a little more. "Get restless if I'm in here for too long."

"I keep a balance. I..." McDonagh wasn't sure if he should tell Astrid about this, but he figured he may as well. "I participate in fights. They keep me... subdued."

Man, she must be terrified of him.

A small smirk appeared on Astrid's face, though it disappeared quickly.

"We all have our thing, right?" She turned to look at Kingston. "He grows catnip to pass the time." Giving him a wink, she made sure he knew that she had remembered about the nearby guards.

"Hey, it's good stuff! And you know I can't get meds..." He shrugged and brought her a nice little mug of earl grey. The mug depicted a kitten.

McDonagh snorted. "Growing catnip is a lot less life threatening than fighting fellow inmates."

"That's not entirely true!"

Astrid squeaked happily when she saw the kitten mug and took it gently, sipping it. Kingston had quite the gift at tea making.

"Growing catnip and getting _caught_ leads to getting sent to max."

"Yeah, yeah, big deal... You only really get caught if you're careless. Oh, wait... How is it you got in here again, Jesse?"

"Fuck you," Kingston narrowed his eyes, sticking his tongue out.

"With Astrid here?"

"...!"

Astrid froze up for a moment before giggling and rolling her eyes.

"Oh man you two..." She didn't quite have the words, and instead laughed a bit again.

"S-sorry, that just caugh me off-guard."

Ben took that moment to walk back into the cell, uniform stuffed with food. Taking a glance at Astrid, he looked immediately over at McDonagh, then back at Kingston.

"So... uh, what's up Astrid?"

"Flash visit," McDonagh replied with a small smile and a shrug.

"Ben! How about you tell Astrid about the drawings? They're really the only thing we have to show or our time here... Well, your time here. We didn't do anything," Kingston chuckled.

McDonagh put a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing slowly, he lost himself in replaying the conversation.

Did she like him?

Ben sat down on Hullahaz's old bed and fiddled with his fingers as he began to talk about all the art he'd done during his time here. Astrid listened closely, but she periodically felt her mind wandering back over to McDonagh.

She hadn't anticipated him to be as attractive as he was, but she didn't want to let that on to Kingston. It undoubtedly wouldn't help anything, plus she was merely attracted to the redhead, nothing more. He was a looker for sure.

When Ben finished, he walked over to the table where he'd left a drawing overnight. It was just a quick sketch of their cell watching a movie together, but a smile seemed to form on his lips as he talked about it.

Kingston, who had to endure McDonagh periodically fiddling with his shirt as he continued his workout (he wasn't being spoken to at the moment, so he figured he may as well), grinned as Ben spoke on, and once he was done, he decided to give his two cents.

"Yeah, shit used to be great for this cell."

McDonagh looked up in shock, but as Kingston was smiling, he decided not to say anything.

"We're trying to get it back to that point."

Astrid looked back at Kingston and gave him a smile back.

"Well, I admire your efforts." She wasn't gonna push anything about how hard it must be, and instead finished with, "You all seem to be doing better."

_Well, as much as they can be._

"Yeah," McDonagh chuckled, pushing up off the ground and removing his shirt entirely, which caused Kingston to start snarling. "We're getting by. In a way it's like the air is clearer, too..."

"Man, do you have to do that here?"

"Where the hell else am I gonna do it?"

Astrid's face went red and she looked away from McDonagh, biting her lip a bit and hoping that Kingston wouldn't notice. Ben certainly did though, but he knew the appeal the Irishman had and understood completely.

"It's fine, don't worry. You live here, after all."

He walked over to the sink to wash his face and shoulders off, sighing deeply. The weather was still pretty garbage.

"Bu-but yeah! Things are... Things are _great_. How are you...?"

Kingston was nervous. He didn't want to talk about **that** , but he knew he should.

Astrid's smile drooped and she instinctively moved a hand to her stomach, though she played it off as though she had an itch to scratch.

"Well, uh, better I suppose." Truth be told, she still felt miserable, but she kept that secret. No point in worrying him. "Work is work, and not much else is going on."

Ben had put his drawing back and went back to sitting on the bed, watching Astrid talk.

"Yeah? You sure you don't need to get anything off your chest?"

He lowered his voice considerably, taking both her hands in his own.

McDonagh observed Ben, noticing how much more comfortable he seemed to be approaching _that_ side of the room. It was progress. And so far no new cellmate had appeared...! But they still couldn't consider themselves in the clear.

Astrid bit her lip and lowered her voice to a near whisper.

"I'm just... you know... _nervous_." Her hand moved back to where it was and she gripped herself tightly. Watching her do this, Ben frowned, feeling her pain even from where he was. He moved over to her side and sat next to her, though he didn't reach to hug her or anything. Turning to the side to give him a smile, she slowly moved her head back to face Kingston.

"But I'll do it, I promise."

He looked down, running a hand through his dreads with some difficulty, before looking back up at her, holding his hand over hers. "I... I dunno, you don't... Have to..." Taking a deep breath, he blinked hard a few times. "You don't have to listen to me and do what I say... You can just... You know."

McDonagh looked over curiously. Was he suggesting she keep the child and raise it without him until he got out? That didn't sound terrible...

Astrid gripped his hand more tightly.

"N-no, I'm not gonna do that. You're the one who said you didn't want the child to grow up without a dad, even if only for a little bit. I-it'll be better if we wait."

Her voice was very quiet. The last thing she wanted was for the guards to eavesdrop on them.

Ben put a hand on her shoulder, which initially startled her but she relaxed a bit when he rubbed her with his thumb.

Kingston looked down again, but the last thing he wanted to do was cry in front of Astrid _and_ his friends at the same time, so he kept his tears in, nodding slowly.

"Yeah... Yeah, okay. You're right."

Even McDonagh walked over now, clapping Kingston on the back. "You'll be a good dad whenever you do get outta here, take that for comfort."

He, too, kept his voice at a mere whisper. God, if only those guards would just **fuck off...**

Astrid pushed away the boys for a moment before calling the guards.

"The inmates are having a hard time opening up further with your presence. Do you think you could come back in an hour? I promise I'll be fine. Again, this is my risk, I know."

She sorely hoped they would leave.

Hearing footsteps getting further and further away after a quiet 'alright', McDonagh put his middle finger up and shook it extensively at the door. "That's right, get the fuck away..."

Kingston chuckled for a moment before bringing Astrid into a big, tight hug. "I love you."

The redhead looked over his shoulder, and although his heart hurt, it felt good to see them have a moment. Maybe now they could go back to goofing off...

Astrid chuckled when she saw McDonagh flip off the guards, and Ben relaxed, moving back from the couple to let them have their moment. It reminded him of Hullahaz though, which caused his gut to churn.

"I love you too." Nuzzling him, she giggled, moving back soon after so the other men wouldn't feel uncomfortable by the affection.

McDonagh sat beside Ben, pulling him into a side hug to ask him if he, too, was feeling okay. They could do whatever he wanted today... And talk about anything, now that the guards were gone.

Kingston didn't care about the others, though. He remained latched onto her, afraid she'd leave him soon (which she would, and he didn't want her to).

Ben was actually having an okay day, and he smiled up at McDonagh, giving him a light kiss to reassure him.

Looking back over at Astrid and Kingston, he sighed.

"Nice to be alone without the guards around." He didn't really know what to say and felt stupid for saying something so obvious.

McDonagh wasn't sure if Astrid knew about he and Ben, but she sure would now. Kissing his neck a little just to be cheeky, he caught Kingston's glare...

He was silently begging him to put a shirt on. With a grin, he got up, yet didn't put his shirt back on.

No, instead he began to flex.

Ben didn't really notice what was going on between Kingston and McDonagh, being too distracted by the redhead's flexing. Smirking, he eyed Astrid, who seemed to also be looking that direction, although she leaned in to kiss Kingston's neck a bit and gently nibbled his skin, periodically stealing glances over at the Irishman.

Ben leaned back a bit to admire what was unfolding in front of him.

McDonagh saw the situation unfold somewhat in his favor, and he inched over to Ben, a goofy smirk on his face as he flexed his arm inches from his face. "Like what you see? Hmmmm?"

Kingston was going red, biting his own lip as he nuzzled into Astrid instinctively, closing his eyes, reaching for her hand to stroke. His breathing became shallow...

He tried to laugh it off.

Ben reached out to grip McDonagh's arm, leaning in close to reply softly.

"Who _wouldn't_?" Resisting all urge to glance over at the other two, he slid his fingers along the muscles in the Irishman's arm, biting his lip and giggling.

Astrid held his hand tightly, pulling it down beside her and leaving it just barely touching her ass. With a snicker of her own, she slowly nuzzled him back, taking a quick peek over at McDonagh and Ben, feeling herself growing warmer.

McDonagh laughed and pulled a Gaston-esque expression before draping himself across the bed, looking up at Ben with a chuckle before getting up again and rolling his neck, taking Ben's hand. "C'mon, don't be shy, feel these ones too."

Gliding Ben's hand across his chest, he made his eyebrows dance.

Kingston, despite the theatrics, was getting too aroused for his own good, and he swallowed hard, giving Astrid's ass the most minuscule touch. Just... a tiny tiny pat...

Ben's breathing shook as his he felt his hand sliding across the taut muscles in McDonagh's chest, and he moved his other hand to the man's shoulder, holding him steady.

"Damn Cillian, you've got the body of _Adonis_." With a flicker of lust in his eyes, he felt an erection grow, and turning his head up, exposed his neck a bit while casting a sultry gaze at the redhead.

Astrid subtly pushed Kingston's hand onto her ass more. She slowly moved one of her legs around him as she looked back over at the Irishman, and released a soft moan into Kingston's ear.

Kingston's face caught fire, his other hand going down to her ass as well to give it a firm squeeze, even though he was in the presence of his other cellmates... He felt like a _real_ criminal! Pushing against her, he felt himself grow harder, her moan making him shiver.

McDonagh chuckled at Ben's comment, but he also realized playtime appeared to be over. Well, of the humorous variety anyway... Leaning down, he kept Ben's hand on his chest.

"Yeah, but Adonis wouldn't be scarred to hell."

Pushing against him, he placed his lips to the younger man's.

Astrid's outfit today was another pencil skirt, along with a silky, fancy top that draped over her shoulders. Tucking her arm up, she let part of it droop down further, moving her hands to Kingston's chest and jaw where she began kissing his forehead. She pushed his head up a bit as she wrapped her other leg around him and kissed his lips, licking them teasingly and stealing quick looks over at the other two (especially McDonagh).

Ben pushed his tongue into the redhead's mouth and moaned a bit, opening his mouth wide and licking the other man's lips.

" _He would if he'd fallen to earth_."

Kingston couldn't hold it in, he softly moaned her name before looking into her eyes with something akin to guilt... Or was it just embarrassment? Embarrassment at how hard he was, surely... His erection was throbbing in his uniform, and he wanted to die. "I'm- I'm sorry."

Seeing what the other two were doing didn't help...

McDonagh pushed Ben further down onto the bed, climbing atop him to kiss him move fervently, a low laugh in his throat.

"Yeah, well, you make a pretty fuckin' cute Aphrodite..."

Ben curved his body to the side and let his hands drop back beside his head. "Oh yeah? Well, I'm _glad_." Tracing a finger down from the redhead's chest down to his pants, he pressed his palm against the other man's groin, smirking at him.

Astrid slid her hand down Kingston's chest all the way to his pants, confirming what she'd hoped. Giving him a light squeeze, she arched up her back and tilted her head back, giving Kingston free access to her neck.

" _Mmm, Stuart_..."

McDonagh pressed himself down onto Ben entirely, kissing his neck before looking up into his eyes, a certain 'you can't get away now' look on his face as he chuckled and held Ben's wrist carefully, other hand slowly reaching under his shirt to stroke his bare skin.

Kingston yelped and put his head down, eyes shut tight. "Ca-can we really do this...?" He opened one eye and instantly leaned in to kiss her neck, inhaling her sweet scent before relaxing against her- most of him anyway.

Ben smiled at him, letting him know that being pinned down was _exactly_ what he wanted. His nipples hardened at the Irishman's touch, and he exhaled hard, letting his eyes flicker shut as he licked his lips.

Astrid could hear the other two getting physical, and she gave Kingston another squeeze, moving her other hand from his chin to her shirt (where it had fallen around her shoulder), which she tugged down until it was just above her nipple. Her grip on Kingston tightened a bit (but not too much), and she grinned, casting a glance back at McDonagh and Ben.

Squeezing at Ben's chest before giving him a few kisses, McDonagh turned to the other two and smirked, rubbing himself up against Ben slowly. "Hey, Astrid... Check out how cute this one is."

Kingston panted, pulling her closer as if she didn't want her to be distracted from him, bending down to put his face between her breasts before sighing contentedly, one hand reaching down to stroke her inner thighs. _Fine... So it is okay..._

Astrid pulled the shirt down more so Kingston's face was pressed against her bare breasts, not minding at all that the other two could see them. Stroking her lover through his pants more firmly, she trailed a hand up to his zipper and pulled it down, sliding her hand down into his underwear as she went.

Looking back at Ben, she took her hand and stroked his hair a bit, which made him moan and shiver.

"Mmm, he sure is, isn't he?" Sliding her hand down to his cheek, she brushed him with the backs of her fingers, and he released another slow moan, letting his eyes roll back.

Kingston at this point didn't mind what went on. He'd put his hands on Ben too, probably, if he weren't now busy licking and sucking Astrid's breast, pressing his fangs to her tender flesh as he squeezed the other, other hand traveling to rub at her through her panties...

McDonagh enjoyed seeing Ben be touched by her for a reason he couldn't pinpoint, but it made him grin in delight. The younger man's expressions were making his cock ache, but he'd wait it out... Pulling Ben's pants down, he slid off him until he was on the ground, licking at the very tip of his cock.

Kingston wanted to mount her, but he was also aware of what had happened last time- and it sent a cold shock through his body- so he wasn't ready to take the leap.

Astrid felt her clit throbbing as Kingston sucked on her breast, and pushed her hips up into his hand while she stroked him off. Her other hand trailed down to Ben's shoulders, and she slid her hand down into his chest, surprised to feel his nipple piercings, but not hesitating to toy with them between her fingers. The sensation of having them tugged on and squeezed made his cock throb and twitch against McDonagh's tongue, and he let the hand closer to Astrid fall back closer to her head.

His fingers brushed her lips, and she began licking them gently, teasing him again by sucking one into her mouth before he could realize where his hand had landed, and he audibly moaned once again, which made her tuck up her legs a bit more.

McDonagh looked up for a moment to scope the situation, and he quickly pulled down his pants to relieve himself of the strain, sliding Ben's cock into his mouth inch by inch... He cupped his balls and began to squeeze very softly, pushing his cock around with his tongue. Sharing is caring...

For a split second, just like Kingston, he remembered something incredibly painful, but it was soon gone and he was back to stroking himself slowly.

Kingston pushed against Astrid, sloppily licking across her chest before hungrily latching onto her nipple, giving it a hard pull as he slid his fingers under her panties, massaging her folds. He could see her playing with Ben, and it made him want to pry her attention to him by force- although it was nice to watch...

Ben arched up his back as his cock slid into McDonagh's mouth, and he leaked precum onto his tongue as he felt his balls being teased. His legs tucked up and he subconsciously slid his fingers deeper into Astrid's mouth, the sensation feeling oddly nice to him.

Astrid, in turn, sucked on him a bit more, while not sucking his cock, but giving him twice the sensation. Her fingertips on the smaller man scratched his chest gently as she moved to his other nipple, which made him shiver. Playing with Kingston's cock some more, she squeezed his head with her fingers and rubbed the tip with her thumb. From where she was, she could see McDonagh doing something to himself, and hoped that his cock was as impressive as the rest of him.

McDonagh gave Ben an extra hard suck, massaging his balls with his thumb as he stroked just a little faster. He wanted to join them, to get his cock on some flesh, but he was patient... Swallowing Ben's precum eagerly, he moaned very, very softly.

Whatever Astrid was doing to Ben was also transmitted to Kingston through her squeezes, and he felt himself lose control quicker than he thought. Moving away from her breasts in order to sit up, he pushed her legs up and apart so he could begin rubbing his erection to her folds, panties now pushed entirely to the side. He was panting hard, an almost feral sound, as he took extra care to rub up to her clit.

Astrid pulled her panties off (they were a bit tight otherwise), letting them drop off her right foot beside Kingston, as she spread her legs again. The sight of her lover so aroused made her bite her lip, and she looked up at him almost submissively. Her now-free hand moved up to her breast and played with it in front of him, while her other gave Ben another squeeze.

Ben whimpered as the pleasure almost overwhelmed him, and in the heat of the moment, his hand slipped out of her mouth and travelled down her chest, landing on the breast she hadn't grabbed. Never really appreciating how soft they were, he smiled just a smidge and gently took it in his hand, keeping her nipple between his fingers.

Kingston felt a low growl in his throat, but it was all for show. He rubbed up to her faster, leaning down to bite her ear while looking straight into Ben's eyes as if to say 'you be careful, that's my lady you're playing with.' Everyone appreciated a bit of thrill in their sex life, right...? Licking her ear, he slowly closed his eyes again, growls becoming soft rumbles.

McDonagh was getting kind of tired of being down there, but he wanted to feel like he deserved some reward for his efforts, so he pulled Ben out of his mouth with a loud 'pop', licking up and down his shaft, fingers idly playing with his foreskin.

Ben blushed when he made eye contact with Kingston, squeezing Astrid's breast a bit harder. Kingston knew that Ben wasn't into women and was no threat, and if he really didn't want him touching her, he would have stopped it already. Ben wasn't worried, just flustered. Feeling McDonagh pull off of him, he looked down at him and panted, admiring the sight of the redhead licking up and down him while Astrid was playing with his nipples.

Meanwhile, Astrid looked down and saw the man's cock out in the open again and smiled to herself, silently wishing she could suck it too, if only to keep getting him off as _well_ as put her mouth somewhere _McDonagh's_ just was. Getting Kingston off was fun and she thoroughly enjoyed doing it, but she wished she could do it while getting the others off too. Having her breast played with as well as having Kingston's cock grinding up against her made her moan, and she rocked her hips around to help coat his cock in the wetness of her folds.

Kingston moved away a bit and looked into Ben's eyes again, discovering and enjoying a new sense of power that came with making Ben blush simply by staring at him. Baring his teeth, he licked his lips, reaching a hand down to pinch Astrid's clit. Bottom bitch Kingston, showing the world he had more to him...

McDonagh gave Ben's cock one final lick before standing up, climbing slowly back onto the bed to position himself between Ben's legs. He seemed a bit busy, but McDonagh figured he could give him a kiss or two still... leaning down, he bit Ben's bottom lip slowly.

Ben shrunk back a little bit when he noticed Kingston looking at him again, letting his mouth hang open in an o-shape as he waited for McDonagh to move more on top of him.

In that moment, Astrid was finally able to see how well _hung_ McDonagh was, and she gasped, face blushing as she looked away, biting her lip. Kingston would _surely_ notice that noise, and she didn't want him to feel bad that she was ogling the redhead. But still, he couldn't blame her, right? It _certainly_ was a sight to see.

Kingston chuckled to himself before noticing McDonagh was back in the picture, towering over Ben and giving him love... he growled again as Astrid proclaimed her astonishment with his size...

McDonagh noticed this too, and with a chuckle, he broke his kisses to tease her. "Want some?"

Kingston flopped onto her with a low sigh, yet he began to finger her, cock twitching against her.

Ben still managed to grope her during all of this, unaware that she was slowly pulling herself closer beside him so their heads almost touched. Not wanting to elbow her, he slid his hand further down her stomach (making her shudder), and she pulled out from his shirt to take his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers.

Hearing McDonagh talk to her, she grinned sheepishly. "Maybe later, if _he's_ okay with it." With a soft chuckle, she clearly mouthed the words "back door" to him and smirked before closing her eyes and arching her back up with a moan as Kingston's fingers slid into her. Her other hand moved to his ass which she firmly grabbed, enjoying how tight it felt.

Ben giggled quietly at the exchange, pushing back into McDonagh's kisses and stroking the Irishman's chest with his hand.

Kingston suddenly felt the urge to flip Ben on his stomach, put Astrid on top, and fuck them both, but he quickly shook his head with a low whimper, flexing his fingers to rub against her g-spot.

McDonagh, now rubbing himself against Ben again, smirked and looked over at Astrid, somewhat surprised she'd be willing to give him a try. As Kingston moaned in response to having his ass squeezed, he realized how much he missed it.

Leaking precum all over Ben's stomach, the Irishman realized they'd forsaken the lube ... but he knew they were all too in the moment to grab it.

Hell, Kingston had abandoned speech entirely, merely panting and whimpering in delight as he began to rub up against Astrid again.

Ben wanted McDonagh inside him so badly, but as they kissed, he moved his face away and whispered, "lube," remembering that they _didn't_ have the luxury of a naturally-lubed orifice. While he waited for him to grab it, he turned his head to face Astrid, admiring the sight of someone so aroused (two people, actually, once he spotted Kingston again), which made his cock twitch again.

Astrid turned to face him as well, not expecting to see him so close to her, and she smiled with her mouth hanging open as she panted. Moving her face closer to his, she gauged his reaction to see if he would pull away, and instead Ben actually pushed _into_ her lips and kissed her. Both of their eyes closed and Astrid squeezed his hand, while she succumbed to the pleasure Kingston was giving her.

McDonagh did as he was asked, hopping off Ben to root under the bed, quickly locating the lube and applying it to Ben's hole... while also admiring the sight of him losing himself to pleasure with Astrid. If only the guards knew...

Kingston pushed his fingers deeper into Astrid, at a loss of what to do with his hips since he wanted to feel more, yet didn't want to fuck her fully out of nervousness... he felt a bit left out, though.

Once McDonagh was slicked up, he climbed back over Ben before noticing Kingston's puzzled expression... with a small sigh, he put his hand under the blonde's chin, pushing it up to catch his lips in a kiss.

Kingston moaned in shock, spurting out a small jet of precum as a response... McDonagh had never really kissed him before. He could feel his eyes roll back into his head.

Astrid and Ben opened their eyes to see their partners liplocked, and it made both of them smile and giggle to each other. Ben reached down and stroked McDonagh with his hand, a bit before pushing his cock down to his ass, steadying the tip at his entrance. Similarly, Astrid put her hand on Kingston's cock as he grinded against her, savoring the feeling of his precum on her hand. Putting pressure on him, she forced him lower and lower as he slipped between her folds, hoping that the wetness would catch him and slide him into her.

Both of them were so incredibly eager to be fucked, and resumed kissing each other with more energy.

McDonagh pushed into Ben without issue, sliding a hand down to lovingly rub at his chest, slowly trailing up to his cheek to give it a stroke... wrapping Ben's legs around his waist, he continued to press forward, sucking Kingston's tongue into his mouth.

Kingston moaned loudly, desperately, as his hips began to move almost on their own, rubbing against Astrid before finally slipping into her, causing him to gasp and break the kiss, looking down.

Before he could comment on the situation, McDonagh caught him in another kiss, sending Kingston's hips forward _hard_.

Ben gasped into Astrid's mouth as he felt the Irishman push deep inside of him, letting his moan trail out as his chest was rubbed again. Astrid pulled their hands up and stroked his chin before sliding her tongue into his mouth, which stopped his gasps and caused him to suck on her a bit. Of course, once Kingston pushed into her, _she_ was the one who gasped, and Ben tapped her jaw with his finger and snickered before kissing her again.

The whole scenario had both Ben and Astrid incredibly aroused, and she slid her hand up to Ben's head, caressing it. He responded by stretching his arm across her and grabbing her side, pulling her towards him a bit. Nothing mattered to him except losing himself to the moment and helping everyone get off.

McDonagh let a tentative hand graze against Astrid as he reached for Kingston, coaxing him to move faster. He broke the kiss to look down at Ben, leaning over to kiss his neck, seeing as his mouth was busy. His thrusts soon picked up, making the young man slide across the sheets a bit.

Kingston panted and shivered, dreads falling over his shoulders as he began to push deeper into Astrid, her wetness sucking him in. How he wished he could be kissing her too...! But squeezing her breasts would be good for now... leaning over made him be right over both she and Ben, and he purred quietly without really realizing it.

Ben glanced down at McDonagh once he felt him kissing him, and moaned softly into Astrid's mouth. His cock was throbbing as his partner thrust into him harder. Noticing all of this, Astrid moved her hand down to Ben's cock and grasped it gently, using the motions from McDonagh's thrusts to jerk him off for her. The smaller man wasn't quite able to reciprocate, but he did dig his nails into Astrid's side which drove her _wild_.

Her other hand moved to Kingston's shoulder and she gripped into him, tightening herself around him all the while. The attention had caused Ben to moan more loudly, and he "ahh'd" in Astrid's face. She licked his lips and all around his teeth, which made him tremble out of pleasure.

McDonagh, feeling a lot more daring than usual, stopped suddenly, pulling out before stretching and sighing. Kingston looked up at him in shock, wondering what had triggered his withdrawal at such an intense moment, but soon he found himself being pulled forward, causing him to nearly lose his balance. "Wh-!"

"Pull out," he cooed, "I got a better idea..."

Kingston reluctantly moved away inch by inch as McDonagh handed him the lube, grabbing Ben firmly before pulling him up- all the while making eye contact with Astrid. "Will you be good and let Astrid lie on top of you, babe?"

Ben was startled by the sudden change, but he didn't complain. Astrid got onto all-fours, knowing that was the position they were headed for, and held Ben's head in her hand, kissing him again, if only briefly. He blushed and pushed back into the kiss, staying upright while the other men moved into position.

McDonagh moved a very confused Kingston over to his side, coaxing him to lie down. The blonde was far too horny and lightheaded to question anything, and he lay flat on his back.

At this point the redhead licked his lips and gently pushed Ben towards Kingston. "You never did get the chance to ride him, did you?"

His hands slid slowly to Astrid's sides, and he waited for protest from any of them. Kingston offered none, merely panting harder than ever.

Ben panted and laid back on Kingston, his cock harder than ever as he anticipated _finally_ getting a chance to have sex with the tall man. Helping to guide his cock to his entrance, he pushed the very tip in, his ass still thoroughly lubed up. Astrid had climbed on top of Ben, straddling him and biting his neck, which made him whimper. The smaller man's cock was hovering near her, and she let his tip slide along the folds. She wouldn't push him into her unless he wanted to, though, but figured that at least keeping him near her was the least she could do for him and his cock in this position.

Meanwhile, she spread her legs out further, giving McDonagh clear access to her ass. It had been months since she did anything anally (via masturbation), but she knew she was ready for it. _Especially_ a cock that big.

McDonagh felt like a real alpha now that everyone was following orders from him, especially of that nature. He was painting a pretty picture here, and he felt proud. Grabbing Astrid's ass firmly, he spread her apart before rubbing up against her, lube coating her.

Kingston inhaled sharply as he felt Ben on top of his cock, bringing him down slowly after a moment, eyes shut tight as he pushed in a bit deeper, his exhale slow and shaky.

"Here we go," McDonagh purred in a quiet voice, pushing himself slowly into Astrid, beginning to tower over her.

Ben instinctively pushed up into Astrid once he felt Kingston slide in, and his own cock pushed deep inside of her, making him gasp and whine. At the same time, Astrid went weak, her eyes rolling back as she felt not only Ben enter her, but _McDonagh_ , and _how_. His girth stretched her out and she cried out in pleasure, her initial expression becoming a huge smile. Ben reached down and grabbed her ass, holding her close to him and panting, as she dropped her head to his shoulder. Her hands were on Kingston's shoulders, and she gently rubbed him with one of them as she was acclimating to the feeling of double penetration.

Kingston could feel Ben enter Astrid, and his initial confusion was replaced with extreme arousal, causing him to buck his hips and push all the way into Ben. The weight he felt on him made it hard to move, but the strain just served to drive him crazier. He tried craning his neck to reach Astrid and kiss her, putting an arm around her...

McDonagh held her waist and waited a few moments, letting her get used to him. Heat pooling in his stomach, he pulled out a bit before sliding back inside. He was taking it easy for now, but his cock alone was enough to make the experience intense.

Astrid could barely reach him with her tongue, but try she did nonetheless. Ben could tell what they were doing and he moved his head a bit, which helped them reach each other better, and he looked up into McDonagh's eyes with intense lust and love for him. The whole _act_ was so dirty, and he had never been a part of something like this.

His first time was certainly something he'd remember forever.

Spreading her asscheeks a bit more, Ben pushed harder into Astrid, staying as far down on Kingston's cock as he could, groaning and panting.

Kingston's attempts to reach Astrid continued to push Ben up further, and once he managed to lock lips with her, he began properly thrusting in and out of the guy lying down on him. Funny... he'd tried to do exactly this on Ben's first night.

Things were so different now. He knew real life would never be as insane as this... not by a long shot.

McDonagh once again stroked Ben's cheek lovingly, increasing the pace of his thrusts bit by bit. Astrid was a _virgin_ in this aspect, wasn't she...? He couldn't help but grin at the thought that he'd been the one to fix that.

Ben's mouth hung open and he panted a bit before gritting his teeth and thrusting with more energy as he felt his ass being pounded.

Astrid pushed hard into her lover's lips and moved one of her hands up to Ben's cheek, which she held as she was thrust into. Angling her hips a bit, she discovered she was able to grind her clit against Ben's pelvis, and her breathing shook as she felt her orgasm building.

Kingston pushed against Astrid's lips, somehow feeling Ben melt between them to the point he thought he was fucking Astrid instead- yet he still brought his friend pleasure by thrusting into him at an angle. His breathing was heavy, and McDonagh couldn't help but pick up on it.

He gave Astrid a light smack as he pushed so deep into her that he was nearly flat on her back, feeling his balls start to tighten. If he wasn't careful, he'd be emptying himself inside her.

With a blush he noticed that would be his only option, as she was still regrettably somewhat clothed.

Ben also knew that pulling out wasn't an option and silently thanked the fact she was pregnant already. His breathing got louder as he felt himself approaching orgasm, and in this case, he would be the first. Cock throbbing, he gasped as he came deep inside of her, gripping into her ass with his hands as tightly as possible.

Astrid felt him cum and she smiled, although she quickly went back to moaning as her clit continued to rub against the smaller man, and holding her breath, felt her climax suddenly build up fully, and she shuddered as a long moan left her body. She rhythmically constricted around Ben and McDonagh as she rode out the waves of pleasure.

McDonagh watched Ben cum with a soft smile on his face, pressing his thumb to his lower lip as he reached orgasm inside of Astrid. He wouldn't be far behind, but he wondered if he could time it with Kingston, who was shaking under Ben from the strenuous act.

The blonde man shut his eyes tightly and dug his nails into both Ben and Astrid as he pushed in as far as he could go, moaning in rapid succession as he came. McDonagh had so missed that sound, and the combination of hearing it again and rubbing so quickly against Astrid's walls sent him over the edge, grunting as he pressed his forehead to her back, spilling deep within her.

Both Ben and Astrid were shaking, coming down from their orgasms. Astrid was _dizzy_ in fact. She relaxed on top of Ben, eyes closing as she calmed down, and Ben wrapped an arm around her, still catching his breath as he lied there.

McDonagh was slow to pull out, trying his best to sit up so as to not show tiredness or defeat. He looked down at the sight and smiled, rubbing his neck as he breathed deeply.

Kingston continued to pant and twitch, feeling constricted yet not having the energy to push Ben off... besides, he was warm inside.

Astrid knew they had very little time left before the guards would return, so after giving Ben a little peck on the cheek, began to sit up, leaning back against McDonagh and whimpering just a bit.

Ben was relieved to have the weight off of him, his cock sliding out of Astrid gradually. Still, he didn't really move, taking deep breaths as he stayed on top of Kingston.

"S-sorry, gimmie a minute..."

McDonagh gave her a little pat on the arm as she leaned against him, a congratulatory gesture as well as a way of saying "it'll pass." A small part of him wanted to apologize, too, but he didn't.

Kingston whined weakly under Ben and resisted the urge to squirm a little bit. He wanted to be able to say goodbye to Astrid!

McDonagh smiled down at them and reached out to give Ben's cock a loving stroke.

Ben shivered and rolled to the side a bit, which helped him to slide off of Kingston. Besides, they didn't have much time left before she had to leave, and he was sure she wanted to spend some time with Kingston. Pushing off the bed, he moved over closer to McDonagh and allowed her to move where he had been.

Since she couldn't stand, she laid down next to her lover and kissed his cheek, pulling her shirt back up and her skirt down.

" _I love you_..."

Astrid nuzzled Kingston for a moment before leaning in close to his ear.

"Could I borrow a clean shirt or rag or something? I need to make it to the bathroom without ruining my underwear, and I can clean it back at home and give it back to you at our next meeting."

McDonagh immediately put his arms around Ben to give him a slow kiss, laying him down to start licking him clean. He felt extra naughty this time.

Kingston shakily reached a hand out to Astrid, his body complaining due to having to push two people up with every thrust of his hips. He closed his eyes and smiled as he heard her speak, murmuring an 'I love you too' (in his sweet time) before nodding and pointing over to a pile.

He wanted to say he wished he'd been the one to finish inside her, and that he wished he could, but he instead chose to say something a little more uplifting. "Fun..."

Giving him another kiss, she slid off the bed and quickly picked out a clean face cloth, picking up her underwear from the floor and pulling them on as she stuffed the rag onto the bottom of it.

The sound of approaching feet made Ben jump a bit, and he hurriedly pulled the blanket over himself, but Astrid straightened up her hair and outfit and walked out to meet the guards before they could walk in and see three nearly-naked inmates.

"I'm ready to be escorted back." As she walked with them, she turned back, "Four days, Kingston! See me then!"

And just like that, she was gone.

Kingston felt a certain emptiness as he watched her move away, winding down from the experience with a little sad huff. He wished she could stay in there with them forever! Unfortunately, that was the most impossible request on Earth. Four days wouldn't be terrible, though...

McDonagh called after her cheekily. "Nice meeting you, Astrid." Kingston tried to throw a weak punch at him from where he was lying.

The redhead didn't mind, though. He went back to giving Ben a few loving licks.

Ben moaned softly and stroked McDonagh's head, feeling exhausted and tingly from the day's events. In no way could he have predicted it when he walked in on their conversation, and now he had quite a lot to process.

Mainly the fact that he'd had sex with Kingston's _girlfriend_. But the man didn't seem to mind. It was still just quite a shock to him.

Astrid had made it back to her office and immediately headed for the bathroom with her purse. She had access to a private stall-less bathroom (the place she first had sex with Kingston), and locked the door quickly heading for the toilet to sit down.

As she pulled down her panties, rag included, she could see the mess that had begun to seep out of her, and pulling a hand mirror out of her purse, inspected the mess first-hand.

The sight reinvigorated her, and she slid her fingers down into her folds, relishing the slick feeling of the cum on her fingers. Reaching back down into her purse, she felt around until she found a small bottle of contact solution, almost empty, and pushed up inside of her, enjoying the way it squished around the fluids already inside of her. Sliding fingers into her ass and pussy, she used her thumb on her clit. Holding her breath, she watched in the small mirror, feeling so _dirty_.

It wasn't long before she came again, sitting back on the toilet with a glazed over, grinning expression, the remaining cum still seeping out.

Once McDonagh had left Ben squeaky clean, he leaned up to give him a soft kiss, moving away gradually. "You did great today."

Turning to Kingston, he scooted over. "And so did Astrid, wow. Why didn't you tell me she was such a bombshell?"

"I... did..." He replied shakily, holding his middle finger up to McDonagh, a shadow of a smile tugging at his lips as he continued panting.

"Still tired, huh? Need to work out more, Kingston; this wouldn't happen if you did daily crunches..." Holding himself up above the exhausted blonde, he slowly moved to support himself with his elbows instead. "Miss her already, huh..."

Kingston let out a soft 'mhmm', eyes half-closed as his breathing began to steady. He didn't protest when McDonagh lowered himself upon him entirely, and surprisingly, he pushed into the kisses the redhead began to give him.

All would go back to normal soon, but in that moment, Kingston just wanted to feel. He remembered reaching out to Ben before everything went black.


	13. Turner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you see text that is between the greater than and less than signs, it represents someone speaking in Spanish.

Two days later, new inmates were arriving, and one of them naturally got assigned to their cell. He was a tall, slender black man by the name of Shawn Turner, and he stayed pretty quiet as he was walked to his new home.

"Get in there, Turner. Lunch is in an hour." One of the guards spoke to him before looking Ben dead in the eye. "One murderer for another, ey Jing-Jong?" He laughed to himself before walking off.

Turner looked around the room, not moving towards any bunk, instead walking over to the table and setting his belongings there. Turning back to face the men, he gave a brief smirk.

"Sup?"

Shit. This had been exactly what they wanted to avoid. A new inmate? He could have arrived months from now and it still would have been far too soon. Kingston was inclined to be friendly, even though he wasn't used to being nice to new arrivals and he was less than keen on someone else invading his space. He gave a brief "hey" and continued folding his clothes.

"I'm gonna kill that guard," McDonagh murmured, rolling his sleeves up before turning to Turner and giving him a nod. He wasn't pleased about this at all, but he'd see how it played out.

Ben didn't enjoy being reminded of how much Hullahaz _wasn't_ there anymore, but even more how the guards poked fun at it. They all knew how close he'd been with Ben and _reveled_ in making him feel bad, especially since they knew about Hullahaz and Orozco's sexcapades and sometimes called after him with what they were doing just to make him feel bad.

And boy did it. Ben started making an effort to avoid guards, which sometimes led to them frisking him just to be assholes (saying "he was acting suspiciously") all while they groped him and whispered in his ear the dirty things his ex-husband was doing with the prison favorite.

He didn't let any of this on to the others, but now that it seemed to follow him to the cell, it was harder to deal with. Disregarding the new guy, Ben climbed up onto McDonagh's bunk and curled up, no longer helping Kingston fold his laundry.

_He really is gone._

Turner shrugged, happy that at least no one dogpiled him. Opening his mouth, he was about to speak, when he saw Ben climbing into the bunk.

"Yeah, which one is mine?"

McDonagh didn't know what was happening with Ben, but he knew whatever it was, he'd kill the guard and anyone else who made him feel bad. He'd sent people to the infirmary over Ben before and he'd do it again in a heartbeat. Internally he was already planning how to corner and murder him. How did Hullahaz do it???

Kingston felt similarly. He was not a violent person outwardly, but he often dreamed of making the guards a cup of tea infused with some deadly chemical, and watching them foam at the mouth and collapse in a pool of their own blood. One day, he sighed, putting the blanket aside. One day.

Looking up at the new cellmate awkwardly, he glanced over at McDonagh for advice.

"It's..." What should he say? Ben usually slept up with him, but it could get kind of cramped... but what would happen if he mentioned the bottom bunk? "The top one there."

Ben closed his eyes, not correcting him. He didn't like being on that side of the room anyway. It felt cold and lonely, and only served to remind him of how Hullahaz was gone.

Turning over, he motioned to McDonagh to help their new cellmate move Ben's things off his bed. Contrary to when Hullahaz was there and much more of his laundry was up there, along with drawings, now there was only a shirt or two and a sock remaining. Still, he didn't want it to get tossed aside.

McDonagh pulled a sour expression as he climbed up there and cleared the space, having half hoped someone would say something. Now they had to keep pretending he'd come back... but ultimately it was for the best.

Kingston decided to break the awful silence somehow. "Uhh, so. Who are you? Like, how'd you get put in here?" _How much do you know?_

Turner snorted quietly to himself.

"I'm a man who spent a year in max for a crime I didn't commit. Good behavior let me come down here, and now I get to live out the rest of my 15-year sentence here, all comfy cozy.

Readying his bed, he climbed up and lay back, stretching out his arms and feet.

"What about you three? You all seem... close."

It was clear that Turner wasn't used to seeing inmates acting this way. Back in max, relationships didn't ever extend beyond mutually assured destruction, so no one fucked with each other unless they were looking for a bad time. But these men actually seemed to be _friends_ , or even more than friends, if the fact that the bed below his was bare, the one he was in was used for storage, and the bed opposite his had two pillows, plus there being three men living in the room.

"Damn," Kingston let out without thinking, "I hadn't met someone in for false imprisonment before. That's gotta suck."

Not wanting to divulge too much of his own history, he shrugged a bit. "At least they let you come down here. It's shit, but this cell's pretty nice, and there's even a cul-"

McDonagh interrupted by clearing his throat, arms folded across his chest. "Yeah, we're close. We ditched that whole dog-eat-dog mentality when we were joined by someone without a cruel bone in his body," he cast a glance up at the bunk behind him, "but that doesn't mean we'll roll over for just _anyone_."

Kingston muttered a 'damn right' before sitting on his bed, fumbling with his belongings. "It's not gonna be all Kumbayah, but we can at least share our names- Kingston. In for meth. Production, not consumption."

"McDonagh. Arson."

Ben sat up a bit, and Turner did too, raising an eyebrow at the men.

"Ben," he paused, "Prostitutution." Very slowly moving back down, he kept his eyes on the man on the bunk across from him.

"Damn... Quite the cast of characters." Raising his hand, Turner cleared his throat and said, "Turner, murderer." With a dark chuckle, he laid back down on the bed.

"Well, hopefully I don't disturb whatever little dynamic you have goin' on in here too much."

McDonagh put on a rather false smile and nodded, looking down at Kingston. "Yeah, we've had our fair share of experiences with murderers, haven't we?"

Kingston looked up at him awkwardly, rubbing his nose in mild bewilderment as he struggled to continue the conversation with something that wouldn't trigger a cell-wide breakdown. "Uhh, yeah... But real ones."

Looking Turner in the eye, the redhead put his hands behind his head.

"You won't."

He knew Turner knew things could get ugly if things began to fall apart.

"Any questions, though, ask Kingston. He's the mom."

The final comment made Turner chuckle. "Oh yeah? Well then," he rolled onto his side, supporting his head.

"What happened to them then?"

Ben visibly curled up more and closed his eyes, speaking before the others could.

"He left."

Kingston opened his mouth to elaborate, but it took him a while to get the words out. "Yeah... Cell transfer. Something about lowering morale..."

"Ain't that the truth," McDonagh coughed.

"No, it's not, actually, but anyway. Maybe he's being moved to maximum to take your place."

"DON'T EVEN SAY THAT!!!"

In a flash, Ben had sat up and thrown his pillow down at Kingston, hot anger in his eyes burning momentarily. It was quickly replaced with tears, which he hid by flipping over to face the wall, hugging McDonagh's pillow into his face.

"I-I'm sorry Kingston...." His words were mumbled.

Turner's eyes widened, and he knew there was more to this than he'd initially gleamed, but clearly it wasn't smart to pry.

Kingston recoiled from the object with a loud gasp, hands up at his face, leg tucked up. Great, now he looked like a scaredy cat. McDonagh sighed deeply and looked from Kingston back to Ben.

"I'm- Was it because of the transfer thing? I only meant-" The blonde was cut off by McDonagh putting his arm out. He began to move towards the bunk ladder, but not before telling him to keep the conversation going. "A-anyway... there's activities..."

Climbing the bunk, McDonagh lowered his voice to talk to Ben.

"You think he's gonna come back?" It was a genuine question, asked in a kind tone.

Ben wiped the tears away and rolled over to face McDonagh.

"N-no, not to this cell.... But I don't want to think about him going away to _max_!" More tears slipped out and he wrapped an arm around him tightly.

_"God... I miss him Cillian... I miss him so much..."_

Getting on the bed entirely, he sat beside Ben and pulled his head into his lap, giving it a few strokes. "I..."

What could he say? That he'd been the cause? That maybe on some deep level he'd driven Hullahaz away on purpose to be the leader? That he didn't deserve Ben or any sort of kindness? That Hullahaz didn't either?

All those would be selfish. He just went with the truth.

"I know. I miss him too."

Hearing McDonagh admit to missing Hullahaz made him cry harder, and he buried his face in McDonagh's abdomen. Turner found it distracting so he slid down his bed and squatted down beside Kingston to listen.

"And- there's... Y'know, botany, which I'm in. And- I'm sorry, can you excuse me for a second? Swear this won't take long." He moved to climb up the ladder, but hesitated as he heard the other two talking.

"I-I'm sorry... Just, the new guy, the guards, especially the guards, all just reminding me of him. Telling me about Orozco and him..."

It seemed he'd be spilling out a lot.

"Wait, wait a minute, what did the guards do? What did they say?" McDonagh's rubs became softer, as he was listening more intently.

Kingston slowly climbed back down, sitting back next to Turner. He'd wait.

Ben's body shook and he gripped McDonagh more tightly.

"T-they like telling me about him and Orozco, the stuff they do in the showers, how loud they are in the cell, how they're the popular power couple of the prison."

His body constricted a bit.

"I-I've tried avoiding the guards but they use it as an excuse to pat me down...and up...and all over... _and_ whisper in my ear about how much everyone was ogling them in the showers."

Ben's fingers curled up and he dug them into the Irishman as he saw red, but releasing him just as quickly, feeling awful about hurting him.

Turner ignored the couple on the bed, nodding at Kingston.

"Don't worry dude, things are tricky right now. So, is there like, a math activity or anything like that?"

He was letting on more about his interests than he wanted to, but tried not to feel awkward about it.

Ben wasn't the only one seeing red. For each word McDonagh heard, his body began to heat up and shake, and his strokes stopped completely. How had he let this happen? How had he failed at the one thing he was meant to be good at.

He gripped at the sheets and debated his failure. He had to fix this.

He couldn't even be _mad_ at Hullahaz for fucking Orozco. He'd done the same, on top of fucking Hullahaz's wife in his own bed- yes, all of this was his fault. Without warning, he gently moved Ben aside and descended the ladder, jumping off halfway.

"Math? I don't think so, but there's literature, and that sometimes involves stuff like... Physics..." Kingston thought long and hard and _almost_ didn't notice McDonagh rushing out of the cell. "Wait, where are you going?"

McDonagh didn't respond.

Ben got up and jumped down off the bed, almost landing on Turner. Falling forward, he leaned briefly on Hullahaz's old bed and panicked, pushing off and rushing out the door.

"Cillian, wait!!" He didn't even care that he was using his first name. "Stop!!"

Turner hadn't expected to almost be toppled, and he went "damn!!" as he ducked to the side. Peering out the door, he glanced back over at Kingston.

"The fuck's up with him?"

McDonagh was already running down into the guards' office, not realizing Ben was following him. He pounded on the door until they opened it, at which point he flew at the one who'd taunted Ben earlier today, grabbing him by the throat.

Kingston would reply to Turner, but seeing the scene unfold told him that _only something very bad_ could have happened, and he jumped up with a panicked look in his eyes.

"Stay here!!"

Ben stood back, not wanting to get close to McDonagh in case he got hit. He knew that if McDonagh accidentally hurt Ben in all this, he would _never_ forgive himself.

"Cillian, stop!! It's not gonna stop anything!!" Something about his words had a painful echo, and tears rose up in his eyes as he watched his lover make a decision that could rip him out of Ben's life forever.

" _Cillian_...."

"It will if he's _dead_ ," he replied, a fearsome glint in his eye as he strangled the guard, swinging him at any other who tried to get close.

But the pain in Ben's voice made him falter. He didn't want to make him suffer, not anymore. He just didn't know what else to do...

Kingston caught up with them just as McDonagh threw the guard into the desks.

"No, it won't.... It won't change that he's gone."

Ben didn't want to think about the guards. He didn't want to think about Hullahaz and Orozco. He just wanted to be held by McDonagh and pretend for a moment or two that nothing else mattered.

But now... Now he wouldn't be able to do that.

Darting forward, he wrapped his arms around McDonagh's torso and sobbed into his back.

Kingston stayed at a safe distance, watching as the guards moved around him, some with their guns drawn, as the one who'd been attacked stumbled to his feet, unable to speak.

McDonagh yelled. It was just for a moment, but it was an _angry_ sound, a pained sound, one that showed how useless he felt.

He hadn't been able to do anything.

Head in his hands, he turned around slowly to hug Ben, but the moment he put his arms out, he was apprehended by the guards- who also forcibly removed the smaller inmate.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Ben reached for him, but the guards pushed him away, his cheeks wet with tears.

" _Cillian!!_ " He cried out after him as he was led away, mortified that he'd never see him again.

The fear of losing everyone he ever loved... It was becoming all too real, and as he and Kingston were being marched back to their cell, he felt his legs getting weaker.

He would be sleeping in McDonagh's bed tonight, cold, and alone.

McDonagh was practically led to solitary by the neck, and he wasn't able to look Ben in the eye as he was carried away. He'd been impulsive, as always, and had made the situation worse- as always. Why did he ever try to fix anything?

Kingston held Ben up as they walked, as much as he could with the guard forcing his hand behind his back every two seconds. "He'll be back," he spoke softly, "don't you worry."

"Don't be so sure," his guard scoffed.

Kingston had to bite back a rant.

Ben merely shut his eyes as they walked, feeling helpless against the guards.

With no one left to truly protect him, he wouldn't be surprised if the guards picked on him more now...

...Or if other inmates did.

His protection was _gone_ and only seconds after the guard left the cell, Ben collapsed to the floor on his knees, feeling utterly defeated.

Turner had been sitting at the table looking through the drawings Ben had left there, and when he heard them arrive, he turned and leaned back against the table.

"Where's the redhead, McDonagh or something, right?"

Kingston made up his mind to fill in the gap as much as he could. He was pretty nonviolent, and on the leaner side, but he was tall and full of indescribable anger- he just never let it show because it came in conflict with his beliefs.

Those beliefs were slowly withering away with each passing moment.

Kneeling down beside Ben, he put an arm around him and tried to help him to his feet, coaxing him onto his own bed.

Addressing Turner with a defeated sigh, he put his hands on his hips.

"Got himself into trouble, so he's heading to the SHU."

Turner raised an eyebrow with a look of awe.

"Damn, and on my first day down here. I'd say things were almost more civilized in max. Almost." Standing up from the table, he walked over to his bunk ladder and began to climb up.

"I'm gonna take a nap."

Ben nuzzled up close into Kingston and held his shoulders, terrified to let go. He was afraid that if he did, that maybe Kingston would run off and get himself SHU time as well, leaving him all alone with the new guy who didn't care about him at all.

His tears had dried, and now he just softly whimpered.

"Hey, I don't know how things are where _you_ came from, but over here, we don't just let people shittalk our own," Kingston replied, putting a hand on Ben's head. He was slowly losing his rag over here, having been given the role of alpha in the absence of McDonagh. "Sure, he was reckless, but he had a reason."

Looking down at Ben, he gave him a pat on the back as well.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna get myself in trouble like an asshole."

He did, however, feel like he had to go to the shop to get them some comfort food.

Ben sniffled and closed his eyes, resting closer to Kingston.

"Thank you..."

Turner had turned away from them, but in his heart, he felt bad for them. Whatever had happened with the previous cellmate, it had clearly affected them deeply, and they seemed quite broken. He almost felt bad joining them, but he didn't have a say in his assignment.

Hopefully they wouldn't hold anything against him. Remaining cautiously optimistic, he wondered if he could ever find close company with them too.

Kingston did become Ben's bodyguard the next few days, which made him quieter on the Turner front due to how much attention he'd pour into his friend. Turner seemed like he'd be able to handle himself, though. He'd be fine.

Lunch hours were interesting, as well as activities... Men with a turquoise ring embroidered on their uniform seemed to be smiling openly, expressing affection to one another, and overall acting like a family.

Or perhaps a gang, considering the use of an insignia.

Turner finished up his lunch (which was still _fantastic_ ; how the kitchen got such a great chef he'd never know), putting his tray away.

He couldn't help but notice the men who had turquoise on their uniforms and somewhere in his chest, a memory called out shortly before his life on the outside ended. But things could be different here.

Walking over to them, he cleared his throat.

"Hey, you guys a part of something?"

The two men closest to him looked at him in surprise, before looking at each other and chuckling softly. This was a new face, perhaps one they'd get to mess around with.

"Yeah, you could say that," one of them replied with a snicker.

">Nothing you'd belong to, though<", the other replied in his first language, speaking with a Venezuelan accent.

They both began to chuckle again, turning back to their food.

Turner laughed softly. "Oh yeah?"

Leaning down on their table with one hand, he narrowed his eyes and replied, ">And what makes you so sure?<"

He'd known Spanish for years, growing up on the edge of the barrio in his home city.

They stared at one another, wide-eyed, before staring back at him.

Sighing in a defeated manner, the one who'd spoken Spanish folded his arms on the table.

"What do you want to know?"

Turner snickered and leaned back a bit.

"Is there some kind of... _gang_ or group around that's looking for new members?" He wanted a second chance _badly_.

"It doesn't matter what the group is about, I just want to feel like I belong somewhere. >Like a family.<"

Looking at each other again, the first inmate to address him took charge of the conversation for the time being.

"Gang... I guess you could call it that. Family is better- we like to think so, anyway. Everyone else calls us a cult. I don't see why not... But wouldn't all gangs be cults? We have a leader who we help and respect, and in return, he gives us guidance and hope."

"And other things," the Venezuelan inmate replied with a soft smile.

"Alright then, can I meet your leader?" On the outside, he would likely never meet the leader of a gang (but a cult, maybe), but this was prison, and everyone was all around each other.

Looking at each other again, they rubbed at their necks.

"On principle it's... Hispanics only..."

"Yeah, but then Hullahaz got taken in! Also, he speaks Spanish!"

"I don't know, I mean... What can he even do? All our positions are taken..."

"We can think of something, right? After all, I'm _sure_ your boss is the creative type." He gave them a playful look and stood up. Placing a hand on his waist, he watched to see if the other men would lead him.

The men shrugged, figuring the best way to put this to rest was to take him to their leader.

"You gotta promise to behave, though."

"Yeah. Be respectful."

"He ain't got time for bitches, and he likes to get violent."

Turner laughed.

"Sure, fine with me."

He'd been housed with _far_ worse people.

Only half surprised to be led into the kitchen, Turner glanced around to see if he could spot the alleged cult leader, and he thought he'd never find him until his eyes settled on a much shorter man who was looking over the cooks' shoulders.

Walking up close with the other men, he stood tall, looking down at the man (not condescendingly) with a smile on his face.

">So you must be the man in charge around here.<"

Orozco was giving the man quiet instructions, eventually putting his hand over the other's in order to help him stir. At the sound of voices behind him, he turned around, looking up into the eyes of a young (yet tall!) black male, which startled him considerably.

">Your Spanish is very good!<"

">Sorry, Orozco, he wanted to come see you, and...<" One of the men began, but he waved his hand dismissively.

">About what?<" Letting go of the cook on duty's hand, he turned around completely.

The compliment made Turner blush momentarily, but he brushed it off.

">I'm looking to join your _family_ , if that's not too much to ask for.<" His eyes conveyed that it was a family he was more interested in joining than an outright _gang_ at this point, but really, he wouldn't be picky, and so long as everyone cared for each other, then who was he to complain?

Orozco smiled patiently, putting his hands before himself in a very neat gesture.

">What do you think you'll be bringing to the family? And what do you hope to get out of it?<"

The men looked at one another, surprised he was being so lenient. Maybe he _had_ ditched that whole 'Hispanics-only' idea...

Turner bit his lip a bit and tilted his head to the side.

">Well, a loyal member. I haven't had a family really my whole life. I'm really looking for someone I can belong with... Some people I suppose.<"

Realizing how he might have come across, he faltered and laughed, looking down.

">People who care about me. And people I care about. Well, _and_ I'm hardworking. <"

The men rolled their eyes, but Orozco just laughed softly.

">You're the new boy in Block B, right?<" Not waiting for an answer, he continued to speak. ">I can't guarantee you will be cared for off the get go, but if you do join us you _will_ belong to a family. <"

Pausing to tell the cook he was free to go, he faced Turner again.

">Hard work is welcome, but I may ask things of you that are more...Dangerous.<"

">Whatever you need me for, I'm yours.<" It had been too long since he got to do anything risky, and he was itching for some excitement.

Orozco laughed, louder this time, but it wasn't an unkind sound. This one seemed **desperate** to belong, more than the others, who had joined to feel alleviated from their burdens.

">We'll start small. I give you a task, and if you complete it, I'll see about letting you join.<"

With a grin, Turner stood up straight again.

">Consider it done. What do you need?<"

">I need you to go down to the boiler room and give me the readings of this place's heating.<"

 _That_ was small? The boiler room was an area restricted to guards only. He'd have to be sneaky and cunning to get in... Or come up with a very good excuse.

Turner thought hard for a moment. ">How soon do you need it by? I could have the schematics to you in about three. But I need those three days to have the best shot at it.<"

His plan was to join assembly and then steal a work order form, allowing him easy access to everything in the boiler room as he "worked on things."

">Three days is fine. On the third day at noon, I'll have someone come and collect you. If you don't have it by then, I'm afraid I won't be swayed to let you join so easily.<"

He was interested to see how this would pan out. There were black people in his cult (Dominican), but never any African Americans. He was beginning to feel _legit_ in his inclusivity.

">Thank you.<" Considering his work there done, he nodded at the leader and led himself off back to the cafeteria.

Orozco watched him go with a soft smile before proceeding to tell everyone what to do in order to clean this place up in time for dinner.

The men who watched him go rolled their eyes a bit, ultimately expecting him to fail.

Kingston asked him how his day went, but he was still too preoccupied with Ben.

Ben was absolutely miserable, and he barely ate. Using what money he had, he bought up snack food from the shop, but otherwise he ceased to go to meals.

He was getting gaunt.

Turner returned to the cell whistling, paying his cellmates no heed after having signed up for assembly (Ben ditched both of his activities).

Kingston was trying to coax Ben to eat, telling him McDonagh would only feel worse if he came back from solitary and saw that his boyfriend was practically dying.

"Come on, it's like... Soup. I know you don't like him, but the food's good..."

Looking over at Turner, he nearly asked what had him so happy, but he narrowed his eyes instead.

Turner saw his skinny cellmate and raised an eyebrow, but glancing over at Kingston, he noticed he was being glared at.

"What, what I do now?"

Ben took a few bites of soup before he couldn't bring himself to eat anymore. Once his mind got like this, eating because almost painful for him. Collapsing down into his cellmates arms a bit, he sighed, grabbing a bit of bread to nibble on.

"Nothing."

Kingston sighed and realized there was no point in getting mad at someone over having a good day, it just irritated him to no end to see the _new_ guy being all fine and dandy as his friend starved himself.

Looking back down at Ben, he tilted his head.

"Do you need me to reheat it or something?"

Ben replied weakly.

"N-no, I just can't eat anymore. I feel like I'll be sick otherwise... I can try and eat more later."

Giving Kingston the strongest smile he could, he set the bowl aside and hugged his friend, body shaking from mild starvation.

Turner shrugged.

"Well, alright then. I might take a trip down to the library, see what I can find that'd be interesting to read."

He was also interested in reading up about the prison, if he could.

"Alright, alright..." Kingston sighed and hugged back, not feeling very confident about the situation, but not really knowing how to approach it either. If Ben didn't want to eat, he couldn't very well force him to.

"Yeah, you do that," he looked up at Turner, "it's to the left of the... You've already been there, what am I saying..."

Pinching his nose, Kingston realized he needed more sleep. He hadn't been able to do much else but look after Ben, and it had made him antsy as well as exhausted.

"But try not to incur anyone's wrath, please? I can't handle that right now."

Turner stretched a bit before heading towards the door, laughing.

"You don't give me enough credit! But yeah, alright. Don't worry." Waving them off, he left for the library.

Ben signed, stomach growling despite having no appetite.

"This... Is the worst. I can't really begin to describe to you how _awful_ it feels to be hungry but unable to eat. The best I can do is compare it to working in a kitchen and being _starving_ but unable to eat any of the food. I dunno..."

Truth be told, Ben knew he should probably be in the infirmary so they could at least hook up an IV to him, but he didn't want to leave Kingston's side.

But... He felt horribly selfish. Ben knew that Kingston was suffering as he cared for him, and that not having McDonagh was taking its toll on him as well. After thinking for a few moments, he gripped his hand into his cellmate a bit tighter.

"Should I be taken to the infirmary? You know... To give you a break..."

Kingston waved him off, not laughing but no longer particularly worried either. It's not like Turner was _really_ his responsibility, but somewhere down the line the dynamic of the cell had become one of mutual support and it was taking some unlearning to not bring the new guy in too.

Looking down at Ben in mild shock, he shook his head.

"No no, if you need to go to the infirmary don't let the reason be me! But... I do think it's a good idea. I'm really worried about you."

Holding Ben a little tighter, he closed his eyes.

"I want you to get your appetite back... I don't know if destressing you will help, and besides I'm not sure I know how. But I worry if I leave you there alone, someone will try to hurt you..."

Ben sighed raggedly. "Yeah... I worry about it too."

He heard his stomach grumble again and whimpered. "I-I'll keep trying to eat, I promise..."

McDonagh being locked up had affected him more strongly than he could have anticipated, and as much as he loved Kingston, he longed to have him back. And he knew that Kingston missed him too.

"But I just... it hurts to see you like this, man. I'm thinkin' we should at least check it out... see if they can help you."

With a deep breath, the blonde pinched his nose.

"I can't lose you too," he mumbled.

With a small cough, Ben looked up at his cellmate. "D-don't you have a meeting with Astrid today?"

Astrid... that's right. Shit. Yet another thing to worry about...

Moving to stand, he pulled Ben up with him. "Let's check it out at least."

Ben squeezed him in a tighter hug when he heard Kingston admit his fear of losing Ben.

He knew that going to the infirmary was the best thing to do, if only so Ben could get back on his feet and eat normally.

Slowly climbing down off the bed, Ben grabbed his jacket and pulled it on in a hurry. His arms were almost skeletal, and he wanted to hide just how skinny he'd become. Surely by now he'd dropped well below 100lb... And being that skinny also caused him to be cold all the time

Waiting for Kingston to join him, he leaned against the bed for support until his cellmate could help him to the infirmary, feeling a bit dizzy as his eyes blinked.

Kingston did his best to hide his worry, wrapping an arm around Ben to help him out of the cell. He begrudgingly told a guard they were going to the infirmary 'for a sec', ignoring any other attempts at communication.

As he walked there, he worried about what he'd tell Astrid. He didn't want her to worry, but the situation was spiraling out of control so hard that he needed advice.

At the infirmary, he told the nurse Ben was having trouble eating, and to please not let anyone bother him.

"Oh... well, we have someone else in there as it is, and we can't just clear him out."

Even though he was terrified of who could possibly be in there, Ben waved his hand and sighed.

"I-It's fine, I only want to be here for the day anyway..." He could survive with one other inmate, right?

"Okay... come right through, I'll see what I can do for you."

"I'll stop by when I'm done with my meeting," Kingston said with a glint of concern in his eye.

Ben nodded, separation anxiety from Kingston filling his body as he was taken to a bed.

The nurse went to check his vitals and stabilize them, hooking him up to an IV so that he could get back the nutrients he was badly in need of.

Explaining to the nurses how he had lost his appetite and couldn't get it back, he clenched his fist a bit, leaving out how his cellmate had been taken to SHU. They merely wrote down what he said and left to let him recover.

Astrid was actually in a good mood for once, looking forward to seeing her boyfriend and catching up. She had been entirely unaware of McDonagh going to solitary.

Ben was entirely alone in the infirmary... save for one person at the end, lying flat in his bed, head facing the window. It seemed he was giving Ben some privacy... once the nurses were gone, though, he slowly turned around.

He was a tall, well built man with ebony skin and piercing blue eyes- he almost looked fake. His expression was neutral, but he was clearly observing Ben.

Upon entering Astrid's office, he saw how happy she looked, and immediately tried to put on a front.

"Hey!"

Ben could see the other man watching him and he held his arm nervously.

"Um.... Hello?"

-

The moment Astrid saw Kingston she jumped up and hugged him, closing the door as she gave him a big kiss. For the moment it seemed she was ignorant of her partner's pain, although she quickly picked up on it.

"Baby, you alright?"

-

The man nodded and waved in response, soon settling down on his pillow again.

"I overheard."

-

Kingston chuckled nervously and shrugged, disappointed in himself for not being able to hide his distress better.

"Eh, you know! It's been a week..."

-

With a long sigh, Ben relaxed back as well.

"I'm one sorry ass motherfucker, aren't I?" With a weak laugh, he closed his eyes. "A fuckin' breeze could knock me over."

-

Moving Kingston down to the floor (it was a safe, comfortable place to cuddle with him), she wrapped an arm around him.

"Oh yeah? What's been going on? You three getting along alright?"

-

"You are going through a tough time. You need to feel protected, sheltered. What I wonder is why you feel unsafe in the infirmary."

He wasn't quite meeting Ben's eyes, head more angled towards the ceiling, but he was clearly paying attention.

-

"We- we are, yeah, but... you know..." Not at all keen to bring her into this mess, he fiddled with his dreads as he leaned against her.

"We got a new guy..."

-

Ben shut his eyes and in his mind saw only Roger, saw him throwing the vase that shattered against his arms. It made him shiver.

"Y-you know, being this weak in a prison full of... People stronger than me, who knows what might happen if someone found out that I was alone in the infirmary, not a single person around to protect me."

He paused and looked over at the man.

"Why are you in here, and what's your name?"

-

Sliding a hand up to his cheek, Astrid looked into his eyes.

"Are the three of you handling it alright?" With a light chuckle, she added, "McDonagh hasn't picked a fight with him yet, has he?"

-

The man nodded in understanding, sitting up gradually to reveal a slash wound across his arm, only partially bandaged.

"I imagine it can be scary, but you seem to have been well so far. I remember you arriving long ago... I cannot understand why someone would want to hurt you when you have wronged nobody in here."

Rubbing at his arm, he looked over.

"It isn't a serious cut, but it was very painful. I've been feeling dizzy lately as well due to lack of medication. My name is Obasanjo."

-

"He's fine, but it just felt... weird, you know? A-and... No..." Kingston averted his gaze. "But he did pick a fight. Outside the cell."

Shrugging, he forced a smile. "But what's new?"

-

Ben noticed the marks on the man and swallowed the lump in his throat. He _had_ wronged some people, more than one in fact.

"D-damn, I'm sorry though. But it's nice to meet you Obasanjo. In case you didn't catch it or something, I dunno I'm kinda fading right now, I'm Ben. Well, Ben Jeong, but I'm used to my cellmates calling me by my first name."

-

Something about the way Kingston talked about the fight gave her pause.

"What do you mean he picked a fight?" She turned his head to face hers. "Did something happen to him?"

Astrid silently hoped he wouldn't think she was more worried about McDonagh than him, but considering he hadn't been up front about something being off, she was very worried.

-

He met Ben's eyes properly and nodded in acknowledgment.

"Ben. A pleasant name, and a good way to engage with your cellmates; using your first name. Mine are not so understanding. That, and they always get my name wrong."

Rubbing at his neck, he shrugged.

"My name is very important to me, so I'd rather they left it alone."

-

"He, you know, he fought...! Except this time it was with someone he should've left alone. And now he's in solitary."

Sighing deeply, he put his hands to his face. "It's like we can't catch a break, you know? And yeah I know we're way better off than any other cell... it's just really hard to manage."

-

"What do you mean?" He greatly appreciated the kindness the man was showing him, feeling much more at ease in his situation away from Kingston.

-

 _Oh no_. "Oh Stuart, I'm so sorry..." _God I hope he didn't fight Hullahaz or Orozco_.

"I-I could try and see if I could pull a few strings and get him out." Thinking back to Ben, she hugged him more tightly.

"Is...how is Ben doing?"

-

"I mean, I don't like to see people tripping over it and saying it wrong without ever trying to get it right. I stick to my last name to feel more at ease. Yet my cellmates refuse to engage positively with me."

He shrugged again and pulled the blanket up.

"But you, you're not eating. From stress?"

-

Kingston sighed again and rubbed her arm. "It's fine, he's just being an idiot as usual. He calls me stupid, but I'd never pull shit like that."

Shaking his head, he pulled her a little closer. "He'll be out in a few days. Guards tried to scare us into that not being true, but..."

He closed his eyes. "Bad. He's in the infirmary 'cause he can't eat."

-

Ben sighed. "Most prisoners don't bother to attempt to say my last name right. I've heard every variation under the sun, from jing to jang. Plus others that aren't remotely close. Mine ain't even that hard!" He gesticulated wildly before dropping his hands back down to the bed. "Like sorry my name ain't Whitey McWhiteyson."

The comment about his inability to eat brought him back out of his rant.

"Y-yeah, when I get stressed out, I lose my appetite. It's.....been a struggle for me all my life."

-

Kingston's remark about McDonagh made her lightly chuckle, but she was too concerned to laugh more. This wasn't helped by his addition about Ben.

"Oh god, the poor boy..." She brought her hand to her lips as she imagined the already-skinny man somehow even more underweight. "I hope he gets better soon..."

-

Obasanjo smiled in understanding, snorting as he shook his head. "Your name isn't even difficult. It's due to their disrespect and desire to ostracize that they don't try. Sometimes it's the same outside."

Trying not to dwell on life outside of prison, he focused more on his company.

"Good idea to come here. The food quality is as good as it will get, so if you have trouble, the IV should help."

-

"Swear I've been trying to help. I _swear_ , Astrid. He just... his stomach shrinks or something. He's losing weight like crazy... I hate it here."

-

"Yeah... I've been well aware of that, it just sucks though." Folding his arms, he shrunk back. "I hate it."

The thought of a meal sounded good, but his throat seemed to tighten up at the mere suggestion.

"I might need the IV longer than I originally thought... I just hope that him coming back will make me feel better." Realizing he was talking to himself, he shook his head a bit. "Sorry, one of my cellmates got sent to SHU and I've been like this ever since."

-

A few tears trickled down from her eyes as she more clearly pictured her fears.

"Hopefully McDonagh coming back will fix this... But I'm glad he's in the infirmary for now."

Giving him a kiss, she embraced him again more tightly.

"You did your best, I'm sure, and he'll be fine. There's nothing more you can do, so don't stress yourself."

-

Obasanjo listened intently even as he was not spoken to, and he nearly climbed out of bed to breach the ridiculous distance between them.

"There is no shame in needing help. Use it for as long as you need it."

It was so refreshing to be able to talk to someone who wouldn't throw racist remarks back at him. Fortunately, his gender identity was under wraps.

"Ah... will he be back soon? I'm sure he would not like to see you this way."

-

Kingston wiped Astrid's tears away, not wanting to see her upset on top of everything else that was going on.

"I'm sure it will, but... what if he doesn't come back soon enough? Ben's not gonna put on twenty pounds overnight."

Resting his chin against her head, he rubbed her back.

"Yeah, that would be easier to do if shit didn't keep going wrong."

-

"We were told it was gonna be several days, but he was strangling a _guard_ so I have no idea." Holding his head, Ben shook a bit, closing his eyes. "I should have never said anything to him about them..."

-

"I know hun... I'm sorry..." Astrid didn't particularly have anything else she felt she could say, and felt bad about it. Hugging him more tightly, she sighed quietly.

-

"Oh, what? He attacked a guard?" Obasanjo put a hand to his lips in thought. "That is troubling. But I assume he knew you were being harassed by them?"

He hoped he wasn't making any assumptions.

-

He nuzzled her and kissed the top of her head. "Least this new guy is staying out of shit. I just wish the cell could heal, you know?"

He didn't even want to ask if she'd had the abortion yet. He assumed yes, and he didn't want to know.

-

"Y-yeah, I wound up telling him about it. He saw red and before I knew it he was out the door, out for blood." The panic from that day flooded back into him and he looked away, biting his lip.

"Sorry, I must seem like such a mess."

-

Astrid relaxed as she mentally carried them both away to someplace tropical.

"Yeah, I understand..."

-

It's alright. I've taken my fair share of abuse from the guards. It seems nothing is a secret in this place." He rubbed at his arm and closed his eyes. "In a way it must be good to have someone within these walls who cares for you."

He only had himself.

-

"It'll be... It'll be fine. Once McDonagh comes back, everything will be fine, and I'll make sure no one pulls this bullshit anymore."

He squeezed her tightly and disconnected from the outside world.

-

"It is. Without out, I would be dead right now. And I'm not lying. If not for the people in my cell, I would literally be dead." It was hard for him to say, be he had truly been in enough situations that could have resulted in his death.

The warehouse, the shower after SHU, prison life in _general_ probably would have killed him.

"I-It's something I try not to take for granted."

-

"I'll still see what I can do though." Astrid whispered to him.

Kingston nodded, trying to focus the rest of his visit on being happy...

-

"You were very lucky getting such a good cell." If he remembered correctly, the man had ended up with Hullahaz, right? And now that was over? "That is no minor miracle. Perhaps God is looking after you, if only a little bit."

It felt weird to speak of God, but his family had been so religious, he'd been drowned in it since birth. It didn't make his life easy.

"Well, it WAS a good cell until... I dunno. I made Hullahaz feel bad. He's in Orozco's cell now. Doesn't talk to me. And with McDonagh in SHU and the new guy doing whatever, all I've had is Kingston. And I love him, he's great, but... My family got a lot smaller."

Realizing he had rambled, Ben ran his fingers through his hair.

"Orozco? The cook with the cult?" Obasanjo tutted and shook his head. "I never understood the appeal of cults. Humans aren't supposed to have so much power over one another. But I am sorry to hear about Hullahaz. I did notice he hung around the... Uh, the... Cultists a lot more. I didn't know they were together."

Nodding, Obasanjo put his hands in his lap. "Mine did too. I understand."

"Yeah they're.....a thing." The words were spoken with a hint of bitterness to them, and he opened his eyes, glancing over at Obasanjo.

"What happened to yours?"

"Oh." That did not sound good or pleasant for Ben. He felt bad. "That's... Unfortunate. I'm sorry."

Wondering whether he should divulge so much information at all, he rubbed at the back of his neck. "Being born with _blue eyes_ was bad enough growing up. But then I deviated from... The natural order."

Ben looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. "Natural order?" The way he spoke of God made him think of something _he_ was familiar with.

"Are you gay or something? Not that I'm judging... Obviously." He sort of gestured at himself.

"No, no," he chuckled, closing his eyes with a hand up, shaking his head. "It's a little bit _worse_ than that, or so I'm told."

Standing up slowly, he began to undo his uniform.

"To be gay is to reject God's path for you," he said in a voice that sounded mocking, insincere, "but to be like me is to reject His greatest gift- yourself."

Showing off scars under his chest and along his hips, he smiled softly. He would regret this, wouldn't he?

"In my family's eyes, I did both."

Ben's eyes widened as he saw Obasanjo stand up and begin to undress, but the moment he saw the scars, he relaxed them.

"Oh... You were born a woman then? You're...transgender?" Now suddenly his mentioning of the abuse he'd gone through made a _lot_ more sense.

"That's... Wow. I give you tremendous props for surviving in here. I can't imagine what it's like to be in your position." With a pause, he glanced away. "Familial rejection... Is never pleasant."

"I suppose I was born into a woman body, but I was never really born a woman. I don't know if that makes sense."

Zipping his uniform back up, he gestured towards his arm. "It becomes difficult sometimes, but that's why I work out regularly."

He was no McDonagh, but he had abs and was decently tall- he didn't like perpetuating the scary black male stereotype, but it could be what kept him alive.

"Since I don't sleep with anyone here, either, it becomes extra difficult." Sitting back down, he looked over at Ben gently. "It's sometimes for the better."

"For a myriad of reasons, I can't and don't work out. Not that it would really help me anyway."

No amount of muscle would change the fact he was submissive and arrested for being a hooker, and even if he got really muscular, it wouldn't stop people from reminding him of it, nor keep them from perhaps tying him back to fuck him.

There was very little point in trying to defend himself.

Obasanjo, had he known Ben's internal thought process, would have told him not to put himself down so early on. He himself used to be a scrawny little thing, but his sheer desire to survive made him push himself to the limit.

And Alicia needed him...

"You never know. It could make a difference in a pinch."

"Eh, I'll be out in like five months, if I can survive that, then I won't have to worry about it."

A nurse came back over and checked his vitals again, writing down some notes.

"Your condition is improving, but you should stay here overnight. We'll bring you dinner in a bit."

She left, leaving the two men alone again.

Obasanjo opened his mouth to say something, but something about arguing with people drained him of his energy. Turning around slowly, he lay back down on his bed, holding his injured arm.

Even when he left prison, he'd have to be on his toes. Everyone would know him as 'the tranny' no matter how masculine he looked (and he did look, in fact, quite masculine), and he ran the risk of being killed merely for breathing.

He couldn't afford to be a defeatist.

"Very well."

Ben felt as though the conversation had pretty much ended, so he reclined back and closed his eyes, hoping the time would pass until he could go back to the cell with Kingston.

Kingston walked in to check on Ben, but the moment he saw who was two beds across from him, he began to stutter and sweat.

"O-oba-oba-oba-o-uh..."

The man merely raised an eyebrow.

Ben looked over to see Kingston.

"Hey!!" With a weak smile, he reached a hand out over to him, hoping to draw him closer. But he looked frightened.

"What's up?"

He put a hand up shakily and gestured about. He thought Ben would be alone and safe in here! He'd heard stories of Obasanjo making men swallow their own teeth...

And he was under Astrid's care, too...

"A-are you okay? Nothing... Nothing happened, right?"

The man struggled not to take offense.

"Um... No? Nothing happened. I talked with him for a bit, and that was about it. Then I napped till you came in." Perhaps Kingston had something against Obasanjo. Ben preferred not to know.

"Okay, okay, I- I wanted to know if you're coming back? Or if you're staying overnight..."

Obasanjo sat up with an air of irritation, reaching for something to distract himself with. This dreaded guy looked like a tool.

"I'll be here overnight. Trust me, I'll be fine." Giving Kingston as reassuring a smile as he could, Ben couldn't help but notice Obasanjo's irritation.

"You can check on me around lunchtime tomorrow if I don't come back before then."

“Yeah, okay, I'll-"

"There's no reason why he _wouldn't_ come back before then," Obasanjo interjected, and Kingston felt goosebumps form on his arms.

"You're right... I'm- I'm sorry."

Putting a hand on Ben's shoulder for a moment, he turned around and headed out.

Ben sighed, glancing over at the other inmate before waiting for his dinner.

…

In the morning, Turner rummaged around through McDonagh's belongings until he found a pen (Ben only had pencils), taking it and filling out the work order he had stolen from assembly the day before when checking out the activity room.

Sneaking in early to the room, he took a tool belt and a notepad before heading over to the boiler room, showing the guards the work order.

They let him in and he set to work writing down the schematics of the place, as well as any other information he felt he'd need. Thanking the men for letting him work, he promised the leaky pipe was fixed and went back to assembly, dropping off the tool belt before anyone arrived, and folding up his papers to stuff into his jacket.

Lunch was coming up, and he figured Orozco would be readying it.

…

Ben had been let out of the infirmary just as breakfast was starting, and he walked back to the cell to pass out. Kingston wasn't in, so he laid down on his cellmate's bed to nap in the mean time.

Obasanjo felt a bit dejected, wondering if he'd been wise in divulging such personal information to a stranger who would most likely tell the whole prison if his dreaded companion decided he didn't like the Nigerian. It was a miracle they didn't all know already... Perhaps they were too stupid to tell.

He'd been too quick to trust the boy. He'd felt a connection to him and felt a naive sense of security. He did not rest easy, nor did he feel good returning to his cell.

Hopefully he'd meet his case worker soon.

…

At lunchtime (which was chicken strips in barbeque sauce), the two men Turner had approached Turner in turn, sitting in front of him with large smiles on their faces.

"So we know you have one day left, but we're here to check your progress. You know, to see if you forgot what you have to do."

">He wouldn't forget, would he? You saw the twinkle he had in his eye when he saw Orozco...<"

">Shh! He can understand you!<"

Turner rolled his eyes at them and pulled the papers from his uniform.

"Done and done. Hope this makes Orozco happy." He pushed the papers towards the men and waited for them to take them.

They looked at one another with their jaws hanging open, quickly pulling the papers together and rushing over to the kitchen.

"We'll be back for you."

Turner put his hands in his pockets and stood there looking around as he waited. This was significantly easier than killing someone, and he hoped that it would mean he'd be allowed into the cult.

A little while later, they came back. They looked very stern, and they spoke to him quietly.

">Come to the showers after lunch. He wants to see you.<"

Turner nodded and headed for the store in order to spend some of his allowance before lunch.

After eating, he made his way to the showers, looking around for some of the men.

By some miracle they'd managed to get the showers _mostly_ to themselves. Members of Orozco's cult stood around him, the lights off, as he sat cross-legged in a half-circle of candles. He looked serene, with his hair pulled up and his chest bare.

He smiled up at Turner as he came in. "Sit, please."

Turner was impressed by the setup and even more thrilled that he'd managed to succeed in joining this group (as opposed to his last attempts at joining some group).

Walking over to Orozco, he sat down and crossed his legs, sitting up straight as he looked at the man across from him.

"You showed a lot of resourcefulness and dedication in bringing me those readings, and it didn't go unnoticed. That eagerness to join this family has made me very happy."

The men around them stood still, quiet, but their energy was relaxed.

"Now, of course, I need to tell you... Being one of us is a commitment. You must be willing to come when you're called, do what is asked of you without hesitation, and look out for your fellow members."

Turner felt his chest swell a bit, but he didn't let on about it. Continuing to listen to Orozco, he glanced at the other men before looking back to their leader.

"I will absolutely commit to it. You're all my family now, and I would help you without a second thought."

Orozco smiled gently, nodding.

"In return, we won't turn you away no matter what. I am always available to those who need me. I will ease your pain."

Looking their leader - _his_ leader- in his large eyes, he smiled back.

"Thank you, for letting me in."

Opening his arms, Orozco beckoned him near.

"Come."

This was the fun bit.

Even though he had just promised his undying loyalty, Turner was still a little nervous, though he didn't let it show as he scooted closer, now only inches away from Orozco. He almost held his breath.

Orozco tilted his head to the side and wrapped his arms around Turner, resting against his shoulder for a moment before pressing his lips to the soft bit between it and his neck, sinking his teeth in slowly to minimize the strain. As soon as he tasted blood, he moved away, licking his lips as a few inmates handed him a rag and cotton, with which he proceeded to clean the bite wound.

"Welcome to the club."

Turner felt himself shiver at the hug, proceeding to yelp softly as Orozco bit into him. But... he wouldn't show fear or pain aside from it. Letting his new leader pat his neck dry, he moved his hand up to hold the rag to his neck while he waited for the bleeding to stop.

A smile formed on his lips.

"Glad to be a part of it."

The men cheered quietly and patted his back. Their first African American! Now they _really_ felt like an inclusive group. If only Hullahaz were here to see! But he was back in his cell, sleeping or something...

Orozco smiled in return and moved to stand, asking that the lights be put back on.

"Any chores you want to do, run them through your mentors," he jerked his head towards the two men who'd brought Turner in initially. "Rivera, Costa, he's your responsibility for right now."

The two men looked bewildered, but they nodded.

Standing up, Turner dusted himself off and turned to face Rivera and Costa, giving them a small smile.

"Well at least I get to stay with some familiar faces while I'm learning things." He chuckled softly. "Need anything from me right now?"

“Uuh... Nothing yet," Costa replied, pushing some hair out of his face, but Rivera seemed to think otherwise.

"There's been a job no one's stepped up to doing yet, and you could fill the role if you wanted. It's not very fun, and it requires the ability to count."

"Yeah, I could do that. I've got nothin' better to do with my day anyway. Whaddya need?"

"It's distributing allowance. We've all been in limbo about it." He groaned and rubbed at the back of his neck before starting to strip. It was the shower room, after all.

Costa took over. "We've set it up so the whole of the Yollotl pool their accounts together, but we need to know the exact amount to give each person as basis. If they're in trouble or want to make bigger purchases, they can take from the pile as long as the amount is recorded."

"So you need me to count it out for you? Doesn't seem too hard, just tedious." His eyes glanced over to Rivera, but didn't stare at him.

"Yeah, that's why people have been avoiding taking the position. It's like being a bank teller, or an accountant or whatever... You know..." Costa felt a bit awkward, but he chuckled.

"It would be a great help if you could man that front. People have been struggling to keep up on their own." Rivera walked over to the showers.

"I suppose I'll have to add in my own then too, while I'm at it." Truth be told, Turner was _thrilled_ at the opportunity to do math-related things, even if it would be essentially accounting.

"Any place I should do it?"

"Probably the library, I dunno. It's one place people won't question you for doing paperwork. Cellmates can be nosy." Costa shrugged, before moving up to pat Turner on the arm. "It's good to have you."

"Hey, Turner," Orozco called sweetly, having been occupied with clearing the area.

With a smile, he turned to walk away (and perhaps ask Orozco where their allowance was kept), when the man he was looking for called out to him. Quickly strolling over, he looked down fondly at his leader.

"Yeah?"

"Give me your uniform when you can, so we can embroider the symbol into it. That way it'll be official," he chuckled, as if the bite somehow hadn't been enough. He folded up a few towels and began to hum lightly. New additions always made him feel happy.

"I can run up to my cell and grab a spare shirt if you'd like me to give it to you now. Oh, and where can I find the allowance? I'm taking it upon myself to take care of that, it seems." Turner was enjoying being around his leader, feeling particularly drawn to him.

Orozco tilted his head before nodding. "We usually do it on the outer sleeve, but a shirt sounds fine, too. The allowance can be dealt with at the main office- I'm sure you already know where that is... Otherwise, someone will be more than happy to help you get there."

"Actually, I've got a shirt underneath this one, so lemmie give you this one." In a hurry he pulled off his uniform shirt, revealing a white tank top underneath that showed off his lean arms and some of his abs through the fabric.

As he reached to hand the shirt to Orozco, he realized the man was probably not the one who did the embroidering.

"Or, uh, is there someone I should take this to?" He bit his lip, trying not to blush.

Orozco eyed him up and down, humming to himself as he bit his lip. How come the handsomest ones always ended up under his wing?

Part of him told him he wouldn't be able to taste Turner, though...

"Oh, yes, Bautista is in charge of that. Hang on, he should still be in here..." Looking around, he found the man and flagged him down. "He has a very steady hand."

The man was not very tall, but what he lacked in height he made up in muscle mass. His arms were tattooed from hand to shoulder. "Qué onda?"

">Turner needs his uniform sorted.<"

The man nodded, putting his hands out.

Turner handed the man his shirt and stood there as he watched him leave. Looking up at Orozco for a moment, he glanced away again.

"I-I should probably get my spare shirt and head down to the office. I'll be around if you need me though."

"I know you will," Orozco smiled, eyes trailing to Turner's shoulder. "I'll have your shirt delivered to your cell.  You're in the _nice_ cell, right?"

He almost sounded bitter saying it, as usual. But that's what it was known as.

Turner picked up on the disdain in the smaller man's voice and he began to wonder just what really happened in his cell.

"Y-yeah, I am." Waving him off, he headed for the office, and then the library.

Over in block C, Obasanjo had been consumed by nerves, and had requested an emergency meeting with Astrid- or whoever was available. He just needed to get things off his chest (he'd laugh at this thought, but it wasn't the time) and voice his worries... Once that happened he could resume his life.

The so-called nice cell had a lot to answer for outside itself.

Astrid had received the emergency request and waited for the man to arrive. Being Obasanjo's case worker, she already knew of the man's gender identity, and hoped that something bad hadn't happened to him.

He was unnaturally fidgety and quiet as he sat before her, trying to find the best way to approach this. She always made him feel calm, but he felt like he might overwhelm her.

Finally finding his voice, he spoke.

"I told someone."

Astrid sat and looked at him, hoping he could find the words to say, and was about to speak when he finally did.

"Oh." Scooting in closer to her desk (and by extension, Obasanjo), she lowered her voice. "Did things turn out okay?"

"I don't know," he admitted, rubbing at the wound on his arm. "I haven't been able to tell if other people want to kill me for it yet. The person I told..."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I thought he was alright with me, but he seemed to change his mind very quickly. I'm afraid he found me... Unnatural. With some help."

Astrid tilted her head, concerned. "Do you know who you told?" On the off-chance she'd know who it is, she figured she'd ask.

Rubbing his nose, he furrowed his brow as he remembered the man's name. "Ben... Jeong. Part of that one cell... He said things had been going wrong, so I offered him compassion. I opened up too much- it was an error."

Astrid froze up and moved back a bit, shaking her head to clear her mind. "O-oh. Well..." She thought hard about what she'd say to him.

"I can tell you with certainty that Ben is harmless. I don't think he would go around telling people about it, considering he knows what it's like to feel like a target."

Blinking a few times, the man put his hands on the desk, nervous yet eager to feel relieved. "You know him? That's good..."

He didn't mention how much he'd felt like a target outside of prison, of course. "Yes, but... He has a friend who looked at me funny. Who spoke like I was a villain. I know there are rumors about me, but none of them are true."

The only friend that Ben had who would have been around and in the infirmary was Kingston, and she paled a bit.

"I... um... I know him too. P-perhaps I can talk to him a bit, if you'd like. We already see each other often, and if it would put your mind at ease, I would have no objection to doing so."

"Would you? Please?" He knew now he couldn't think of Ben as a friend, exactly, but he didn't want to think of him as a foe- or anyone from his cell. If Astrid could help him, that would put his mind at ease.

"I just want to stop being afraid for two seconds."

It was hard opening up.

Reaching a hand for him, she gently touched his arm. "I can only imagine. I'll see what I can do, Obasanjo, I promise."

There wasn't much else she could say to him right now.

“Thank you, Astrid. God be with you," he couldn't help but say, silently hating himself for having those words, those beliefs, drilled so deeply within him. Especially with each strike of his father's belt.

"You really eased my worry, and I hope you are well too."

"I'm glad... glad I could help, and glad you're feeling even a bit better." Astrid sat there for a moment before sitting back.

"Anything else you wanted to talk about?"

Putting a hand on Astrid's, he gave her a squeeze. "I just think I should say you need to get more sleep. You look stressed."

Standing up slowly, he moved towards the door.

"I'll let you do that, now."

Astrid chuckled as she watched him leave, realizing he had given her about a half hour before her next meeting. Tomorrow she would put in a request to see Kingston.

Back in the cell, Turner had returned without his shirt, which gave Ben pause, but he said nothing. The man pulled on a fresh one and started rummaging through some of their shared belongings (with Ben keeping an eye on him) before pulling out a deck of cards.

He sat down at the table and began absentmindedly shuffling them, beginning to set up a game of Solitaire for himself.

Kingston could appreciate Turner's choice in entertainment, but it made him miss McDonagh all the more. He should be out soon, right? Surely...

Down in solitary, McDonagh was beginning to go a little bit crazy. He kept trying to tell himself Hullahaz had survived far longer down there, but it always ended up having the same effect on him.

He'd get caught up on thoughts about him, and how he'd attacked him before he left. Even when he knew his misery had mostly all been caused by him (or so he thought).

It made his chest tighten with grief. He missed his cellmates like crazy, but at least he'd see them again. He knew he wouldn't be able to get Hullahaz back.

Astrid was nervous about seeing Kingston again, and so soon. He might think she had some person news to offer (she still hadn't aborted their child), but instead she actually had some counselor stuff to talk about.

All she could hope for was that he would react okay.

He stepped into her office with a smile, eager to see her again. Even if he got no good news, all he wanted right now was to be near her. He needed a break from all the stress. Fortunately, Ben seemed to be doing a bit better...

But he was still wary of leaving him on his own for too long.

"Hey Stuart. Glad you could come in." Her tone she hoped would reassure him that nothing big or bad was going on.

"I called you in to talk about something that came up yesterday; I just needed to talk to you about it. Prison stuff." Astrid gestured to the chair across from her.

"Uhh..." His smile diminished considerably, and he fiddled with his dreads as he sat down in front of her, waiting to hear what she'd have to tell him. Had he done something wrong?

"What's up?"

-

It seemed inmates couldn't let the chance of sleeping with Ben go. He was awfully attractive, after all, and he looked so soft to the touch. Now that he had no one to really protect him, the efforts were increased.

-

"I'm pretty sure you know who Obasanjo is, right? What's your take on him?" She leaned forward and watched him to see what he'd say.

-

Ben had been putting off showering, afraid of going there even with Kingston, but after Turner kicked him out of the cell for stinking up the place (refusing to let him back in until he showered), he gripped his towel and walked down to the showers. It was neither an optimal time or an optimal situation, but he was stuck and unsure of how long Kingston would be gone for.

Walking into the bathroom, he steeled himself for the inevitable approaches he would get and began to strip down, pressing the button to start the water.

-

"A- He... He's _scary_ , Astrid. He's so big and quiet, he's like Hullahaz but... Well, without all the fancy tattoos. He's apparently made people swallow their own teeth and performed witchcraft, and when I saw he was in the infirmary with Ben, I... Well, I thought I'd lose the guy for good."

-

It took maybe two minutes for the first guy to try. Nothing to look at- dirty blonde hair and average build.

"Hey. You gonna put out finally? No one's given you any for like, a week, right? Thought that sort of shit would drive you crazy."

A few other inmates laughed, though some didn't find it amusing- yet refused to intervene.

-

"I trust you, he's not going to hurt you or Ben. I'm not saying you show go around saying he's a softie, because he's not, but he won't hurt you. Just.... don't treat him like a bad guy. He doesn't deserve to be demonized."

-

Ben continued to shower. "It's whatever. Just get it over with." Looking back at the man, he sighed and placed his hands on the wall, deja vu haunting him to his core.

There was no Kingston or McDonagh to interrupt, nor a Hullahaz to break things up if they got bad. And no Roger to help him afterwards.

Within the last few months, things had truly fallen apart for him, and he had only himself to blame.

Ben closed his eyes in anticipation.

-

"Oh...?" What had happened? Kingston knew Obasanjo was in with Astrid as well, but... Had he come to see her? Over him? But they never spoke! "I- I don't mean to demonize him. I guess I just... I guess I just never stopped to think about how my reactions could affect him."

-

"What, really?" The inmate chuckled, starting to stroke himself. "Score! Hey, can you maybe call me 'baby' or something? That would really add to this experience."

"Man, you really _are_ easy!"

"I wanna go next!"

None of them knew who'd be in the room with them, or they wouldn't be so careless.

-

“It happens. And this is prison. But I would probably be a bit nicer to him. You don't need to be nice to ALL the inmates, but it would help him feel better if you were, that's all. Not that you're a bad person, of course." Astrid gave him a smile and touched his arm.

-

"You're getting to fuck me before anyone else in here. I think you're already getting a lot as is. Don't push it." Ben knew he wouldn't have a response for an "or what?" but didn't really care. He didn't even care about the comments about him being easy.

It wasn't like he would have much of a choice anyway.

-

 "I... Did I do something wrong?" He knew he probably had, but he wanted to make sure. "I'll do my best to be better. It's just all been a bit much lately, and I get afraid. Afraid of losing what little I have left, you know?"

-

The man got taken aback, but he smirked and began to push into him regardless. "Sure, yeah, as long as I get to fuck..."

"Actually, he's right, why do _you_ get first pick?" Already another inmate was moving in, tugging on Ben's arm.

Hullahaz walked in, Orozco a few steps behind, but he didn't really register what was happening.

-

"I understand hun, I do. I'm just helping reassure you. Plus it helps to not make enemies where they don't need to exist. It helps both you _and_ Ben."

-

Ben gritted his teeth as he felt the inmate push himself deep, but didn't react. The tug on his arm sent his heart racing though, afraid that this would turn into a gang rape, but again, he stayed silent.

He didn't notice Hullahaz and Orozco walking in.

-

You're right, I really gotta be careful. But oh, god, Ben. I feel so bad leaving him alone, but he'll be... He'll be okay, right?"

-

The water hitting them seemed to be no deterrent. They kept tugging and yelling, more of them joining in.

"Get fucked, I made my move!" The inmate said, pushing further into Ben, which earned him a smack from another inmate, who was now trying to turn Ben around.

Hullahaz caught on, and getting a glimpse of who was underneath the pile of men, felt a sudden surge of rage. Orozco put a hand up to stop him, but he flew at them before anything could be said.

Grabbing the one trying to forcefully move Ben first, he tossed him to the side before putting his arm around the blonde inmate's neck, choking him enough to successfully get him away from Ben. The one grabbing Ben's arm received a swift punch to the face, sending him to the floor.

-

"I'm sure he will babe. He's got good people looking out for him."

Kingston couldn't help but blush at this. He'd certainly come a long way.

-

Ben was trying to ignore all the fuss around him, but hearing a scuffle going on beside him, he opened his eyes and saw a flash of black and white tearing the men away from him. Backing up against the wall, he looked up and saw Hullahaz standing there, a bit of blood on his fist, and the three men who had been harassing him lying on the floor.

He didn't have the words at first. All he could do was stand there looking up at him. "Th-thanks..."

Hullahaz held his gaze on Ben, the rage slowly dissipating and being replaced by a deep sadness. Yet his eyes betrayed nothing, glazed over as he nodded softly, holding his hand under the stream of water to get rid of the blood. Orozco looked shocked in the background.

As the men got up, they tried to approach him, infuriated, but he put his fist up as a warning.

"Shit, dude, why do you even care? You're not together anymore!" One of the men said. Hullahaz ignored him as best he could.

Ben began to start showering again, nervous about anyone else trying anything, and hoping that Orozco wouldn't approach them. He wouldn't speak for him, nor try to defend himself, so he stayed quiet, shampooing up his hair and keeping an eye back on the man he used call his husband.

Inside, he was still shaking.

"Just stay out of it, trying to make yourself the bigger man after you just _abandoned_ him for your exotic boyfriend..."

It was becoming a bit much, and Hullahaz's breathing was shallowing. Orozco looked ready to jump onto the man and eat him alive.

The blonde reached for Ben again, and Hullahaz sent him to the floor, straddling him. He squealed in panic and writhed to get away- the tattooed man knew he wouldn't be trying again for a little bit.

Ben tried to ignore the comments, but they stung just as much as the ones from the guards. His gaze only briefly caught sight of the first man being thrown to the floor, and he moved away from it, still staying under the water.

 _I just gotta rinse and condition, rinse and condition_... He repeated the words to himself, trying not to think about everything that had just happened.

Hullahaz watched Ben's assailants go, slowly undressing to also take a well deserved shower. He still looked out for Ben, even after all that had happened.

It made Orozco incredibly angry, but he said nothing, merely joining him under the jet of water, pressing his face to the skeleton man's back. He tried not to look at Ben.

Hullahaz almost asked Ben why he'd come unaccompanied, but he said nothing. Just the 'thanks' had been enough to make his chest hurt- but he hadn't been able to just let it happen.

Ben dried off quickly, pulling his clothes back on and heading back for his cell, but not without stealing a glance at Hullahaz and Orozco. The sight made his stomach churn, but he didn't say or do anything about it.

Arriving back at the cell, he sat down on Kingston's bed and hugged himself, not speaking, alone in the cell.

-

"Why did you do it?" Orozco asked softly.

"I couldn't let him get hurt."

" _Why?_ " His voice sounded strained.

"You know why, Nex."

"Then why not just go back to him if you love him so much..."

"You know he wouldn't have me. That's how I'm with you."

"..."

"Don't cry..."

-

Kingston made it back to the cell, feeling more confident in the future. He smiled at Ben, but his smile faltered once he saw he looked poorly. "What's up?"

"I..." For once, Ben contemplated lying to him. What had happened, happened, and it was in the past and would likely never happen again. Besides, Kingston seemed to be in a jovial mood.

"I was just-" But lying wouldn't help him be trusted.

"Hullahaz. Was in the shower. Some other men were trying to get with me and he pulled them off. That's all. Nothing else happened."

"What...? Really??"

Somehow, after all that had happened, Kingston was shocked to hear Hullahaz had stood up for Ben, even after being apart from him and the rest of the cell. It seemed he hadn't been able to let go of whatever promise he'd made...

"Did he say anything? To you?"

Ben shook his head and stood up, walking over to his things to grab a brush.

"It just... is what it is. Nothing more."

Turner walked back into the cell, admiring the new embroidery on his shirt and completely oblivious to what he was walking into.

"Hey, guys, check this thing out!" He displayed it proudly.

Kingston didn't want to push it, but he felt he needed to say something.

"I... I think you should talk to him, Ben... I don't think things can end the way they did."

Before he had the chance to expand upon that, he noticed Turner entering the cell, displaying his shirt proudly for some reason.

His eyes fell to the turquoise ring, and his jaw dropped, a long gasp following.

Ben opened his mouth to protest, to tell him that there wasn't anything he could say to him that he hadn't, when he was interrupted by Turner.

And his cult insignia.

He could feel rage boiling up inside of him, as he would now have to live with not only the fact that Hullahaz was gone because of Orozco, but the fact his new cellmate was involved with Orozco's cult. What was next, Kingston being too busy to spend time with them because Orozco had him in the kitchen all the time?

The man was out to make his life a living hell, it seemed, intentionally or otherwise.

Turner noticed their reactions and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, something up?"

"Why the fuck is that on your shirt?" Kingston couldn't think to ask anything else.

He wanted to turn back to Ben and tell him that clearly there were unresolved issues between he and Hullahaz, and that he also wanted to speak to the man (and secretly beg for his return), but now all that had been overridden by the insignia on Turner's shirt.

"Do you know what that _is_?"

"No, I think it's just pretty and only on the shirts of the men who look up to Orozco for some reason." Leaning back against his bunk, he folded his arms.

"I'm not an idiot. I'm one of Orozco's men now. Thought maybe y'all would be happy for me, but I guess we're not that close yet."

Ben couldn't help but interject. "And we sure as hell won't be now!" Looking up at him, he gritted his teeth, almost snarling.

"How long till you're porkin' him too?"

Kingston wanted to ask the same thing, but he let Ben man that front. He knew his question had been stupid, but it had been inevitable. He hissed and began to pace around the room, tugging on his dreads.

"You're one of _them_ now? **Why**?"

Turner's comment about being happy for him, and Ben's response to them not being close, made Kingston feel awful. Things seemed to be perpetually getting worse.

"Orozco's the reason we lost the man before you. We don't really sympathize with his plight."

Turner felt his gut clench a bit. _Oh_.

He watched as Kingston paced and Ben looked away, and somewhere deep inside of him, he could feel some of his _own_ anger rising up. But they wouldn't understand why, so he put a lid on it and hoped it would hold.

"Well, fuck, I'm sorry that I only rubbed it in." The apology was less sincere and more of a retort, but it was the best he could manage.

Ben snorted and laid back on Kingston's bed.

"Yeah... sure."

"I mean, you couldn't have known, but..." Looking down at Ben, Kingston wished he could do something to alleviate his pain. To diffuse the tension, to do away with the hostility.

He wished Astrid were here.

"Why would you willingly join a cult, man? Is he gonna ask you to kill us in our sleep?"

His interactions with Orozco had been fine up until the man had taken Hullahaz from them, but the more he understood why, the less he knew how to feel about the leader of the Yollotl.

Turner didn't really care to divulge information about himself while his cellmates were upset with him, but he hoped it might do away with some of the negative energy in the room.

"I haven't exactly had much of a family my whole life, and when you see one right there in front of you, big, caring, and not to be messed with, you can't help but wanna be a part of it. I ain't gonna say shit about your families outside of prison, especially since it seems like y'all got on just fine before me, mostly anyway, but you guys got you, and I've got the cult."

Ben didn't really care. His hatred for Orozco overrode his sympathy for Turner.

After a moment of silence, in which Kingston took in all Turner was saying and realized he had a very valid reason to want to join, he spoke up.

"They won't make you... Eat hearts, though... Will they?"

He would maybe finally get to find out what went on in the cult, and whether it was as creepy as he thought. He didn't want to keep on talking about these things with Ben around, but he couldn't help it. He felt responsible for Turner joining at all, in truth.

"A-and did you have to pledge your undying loyalty to _him_?"

"Pfft, I don't think so. Honestly, my job got quickly relegated to 'accountant,' if that tells you anything." The comment about undying loyalty made him smirk.

"Of course, I mean, what cult _doesn't_ make you do that? I'm not like the others; I don't view him as some kind of supernatural being, but he _does_ have a way with bringing people together, and I'll give him that."

Ben gritted his teeth. _Or tear them apart._

He stood up and headed for the door. "I'll be back." Turning back to look at Kingston, he added, "I'll be fine, don't worry."

And he made a beeline for the store.

"Accountant? That's new... I didn't know they were so well organized." He let his head hang though, at the thought of Turner looking up to someone who had brought so much harm to his family. Even though his food was wicked good.

"He... He does, doesn't he? Except when he's stealing members from your cell-" He began, anxiety rising in his throat.

Watching Ben go, though, he jumped a bit. "Are you sure you don't want me to go with... you..."

He was gone, leaving Kingston with Turner.

Turner sat back down on the empty bed, relieved that Ben had left.

"Look, I'm fuckin' sorry about what's all happened with you guys and Orozco, but he's been a good guy to me, and I don't wanna lose what I finally have. Sorry it pisses you guys off, but I'm not gonna sacrifice my shit for you guys. I'm not. I just won't talk about it, alright? I'm not askin' you guys to stop doing anything for me."

-

Ben bought himself a bag of chips before he headed outside. Which was honestly a mistake, since it was freezing and he wore no jacket, but he wasn't about to head inside.

Making his way over to the field, he sat down beside one of the bushes and ate, wishing he had brought some water. Being away from people was the primary reason for going outside, but he realized that he had only ever been out here for any length of time with Roger and Hullahaz, and the thought deeply unsettled him. As he got up to walk back in (especially since he was freezing over), a guard spotted him and began heading over to him.

It was the same guard that McDonagh had strangled.

-

"I'm not saying you have to, I'm just... Do you understand why this is hard for me to process? For _us_ to process? That's all it is. I'm trying to get Ben to talk his stuff out with the guy who left, but he's not going to, and... Well... I guess that means shit's never gonna get better for us. Maybe it will for you, though."

He closed his eyes momentarily.

-

He still had the faintest marks on his neck, and he had a look of pure malice on his face as he approached Ben, but he tried to disguise it.

"Hey, what you doing all on your own, eh?"

Approaching Ben a little quicker as he saw him head for the entrance, he allowed himself a smile.

"Don't you know it's not safe?"

-

"Yeah, maybe it will." Looking down at the floor, he sighed, leaning forward and holding his hands. "I know Ben ain't gonna be in here for that much longer, and I've got no clue how long you're in here for, but I'm hopin' that at least eventually we can be... friends I guess. I didn't really know what to expect, comin' from max and all, didn't think that cellmates could be close. I _am_ sorry I didn't help anything around here, but at the very least, I'm tryin' to make something of my time here, and that meant joinin' a cult. Eventually shit'll sort itself out. Might take time, but I got a lotta years to kill."

-

Ben stopped in his tracks and began backpedaling immediately. It wouldn't help him to be running from a guard, especially not in the direction _away_ from the main building, but he didn't know what else to do and was panicking.

"L-leave me alone!!" His voice shook as the cold got to him, and he suddenly felt like he was back on the day he stabbed Roger, running in terror from those abusive inmates. Except this time, escaping wouldn't be possible.

-

"I'll be here for another two years, probably," Kingston admitted, "at least. And I really don't want to make an enemy out of you, I don't! I've been working on being less judgmental and more open to change. I used to be just like anyone else in here, but now I just... Refuse to be a dick forever for no reason. If we can push past the Orozco shit, we can... Probably be friends..."

Rubbing at his cheek, he sighed. "I think I'd better go find Ben, though. I'm worried."

-

The guard chuckled and shook his head. "Aw, come on, Yin-Yong, I'm not even doing anything to you. _Yet_. What's the point in running?"

Closing in on him, he reached out to grab him by the uniform.

"I wanna show you up close what your replacement boyfriend did to me." His voice was deep, dark. He loathed every single inmate in this prison, and he'd torment them as much as he could. The weaker ones were the easiest.

-

Turner was satisfied with that and stood up from the bed to climb up onto his own. "Fair enough."

Settling in, he cleared his throat a bit. "Hope he's fine."

"Me too, man."

Kingston ventured out of the cell, wondering where to start looking first.

-

Ben squirmed around in the guard's grip and tried to break free, but the man had hold of him too tightly. The cold also made it harder for him to move, and he whimpered as he gave up, tears welling up in his eyes. He said nothing.

"Look at it," the guard snapped, pushing Ben up against himself, neck in full display. "He assaulted me like the fucked up little savage he is, and now he's going to be stuck there forever. Hear that? He's never getting out of solitary for this."

Chuckling, he tilted Ben's head to the side, running a hand down his front, lips dangerously close to his neck.

Ben's worst nightmare about McDonagh's situation had come true, and he was too terrified to question whether or not the guard was only saying it to upset him. The marks were still pretty bad (the result of a _lot_ of anger behind them), and Ben didn't want to look at them. They were justified.

No one could help him here, not against a guard. The other guards had always turned a blind eye to this one's treatment of Ben, and now the two of them were close to the brush beside the field, close to a place that would conceal them and anything the man wanted to do to him from everyone else.

He wanted to cry out for Hullahaz, remembering his shower earlier, but the man wouldn't be out here, nor would he punch out a guard for him anymore.

He wanted to cry out for McDonagh, but he was locked up forever in solitary.

He wanted to cry out for Kingston, but he was still back in the cell.

He wanted to cry out for _Roger_...

Knowing full well no one would stop him, the guard licked at Ben's ear, roughly groping him through his uniform, pressing him against the outer wall of the prison, the grainy texture of the rock probably scratching him here and there. _Good_.

When he stopped for a minute, he'd talk about how he'd make extra sure McDonagh was neglected in solitary, how he'd love to watch him starve... How he may even convince Orozco to poison his food. He also, of course, mentioned Hullahaz...

"You think he'd ever actually want to be with you? After what we did to his precious Laney? And where is he now? He failed at protecting you, didn't he? Or did he just not want to anymore?"

Kingston had walked through the cafeteria, asking around for Ben, and someone had finally mentioned seeing him outside. The blonde hoped he'd still be there as he walked out.

Ben couldn't help the tears that were rolling down his cheeks, his cold skin scraping against the rock as he was forcefully touched. All he wanted was to be far away from the guard...

And the _awful_ things he was saying.

Mucous drained down his nose and he tried to sniff it back, not wanting to think about what happened to Hullahaz's old love.

 _Is this it? Am I the next Laney?_ There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he was, and closing his eyes, he gave up completely, waiting for the inevitable and hoping that the guard would be quick.

Starting to unzip Ben's uniform, the guard seemed to deny Ben any mercy. Squeezing his neck with a laugh, he shoved his hand down his front, squeezing and digging his nails wherever he pleased.

"It's so fucking _funny_ to see you cry. I'm gonna take my sweet time enjoying this."

Pushing him further against the wall, he was oblivious of a figure approaching in the distance.

Truthfully, Kingston could not make out anything that was happening, save for the fact there seemed to be a guard and an inmate. Maybe they'd know where Ben...

Wait. Was that Ben? The way he was being held made him feel extremely uncomfortable, and he began to pick up the pace.

Ben's mind flashed back to the nightmare he'd had months ago, and opening his eyes, saw his father in the guard's face, if only momentarily, causing him to gurgle out a pained sob. He wondered if this was the last thing Laney ever saw too.

The exposure of his bare chest to the cold made him whine loudly, and he shut his eyes again as his nose suddenly got a lot colder. His entire body was shaking violently.

He was torn between choking out Ben's sobs or enjoying them for what they were, and as he began to force him to kneel, he began to laugh all the louder. It drowned out the noise of footsteps behind him...

But it wasn't enough to drown out the pain of being tackled to the floor.

Kingston was at his _wit's end_. He had been having an abysmal time, what with his appeal being rejected, his secret girlfriend having to abort their baby, his best friend being in solitary confinement for trying to defend their cell's protégé, Hullahaz being **gone** yet still an influence on everybody and the new arrival, who suddenly became one of Orozco's followers- and now, with all the responsibility falling to him, he'd managed to fuck up the one thing that was important right now: Ben's safety.

And he'd had enough.

Screaming, he began slashing and clawing at the guard's face, his sheer size holding the man down as he flailed about, trying to defend himself. Kingston was going for the eyes, and he wouldn't stop until this piece of shit had been blinded. He'd deal with the consequences later. He was **not** going to go to solitary for saving his friend.

Ben dropped to his knees painfully, mouth hanging open as he waited for the guard to do whatever he had planned next, when he felt the man be torn off of him and a loud roaring in front of him. Opening his eyes, he saw Kingston gouging out the man's eyes, and he fell to the side, hugging one arm while supporting himself with the other as he resumed crying.

Kingston would get locked up in solitary for this for sure, and then he'd truly be alone.

_Are you happy now Orozco? You've won._

Kingston drove his nails into the man's eyes before turning over to Ben, panting hard, eyes wide and angry, expression _feral_. He got up off the whimpering man slowly, blood coating his thumbs, which he quickly wiped on the grass.

His streak of nonviolence had ended.

Quickly walking over to Ben, he leaned down to scoop him up, putting both arms around him. The anger in his eyes was still present, but he was juggling emotions.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry... Let's get out of here..."

Ben did not protest. Kingston was going to take him far away from there, the one thing he wanted most, and he wasn't about to jeopardize that. Letting his head fall against his cellmate's chest, he closed his eyes. In his head, he was back in the cell with Kingston, McDonagh, and Hullahaz, remembering a time when they were happy together as a family. He wasn't sure if it was the rush of oxygen back to his brain after being strangled, or the sheer distance he felt from the memory, but he almost saw it with film grain as he remembered.

Kingston knew that as long as the guard hadn't seen him, he had no real way of saying it had been him. Knowing the guy, he would have been in a security camera blindspot, too. For once, his head was making analyses that were fit for a great thinker, and he bitterly thought "if only mom could see me now."


	14. Justice

Walking around the building to enter from another side, he carried Ben back to his cell, doing his best to not be spotted by anyone. It almost felt like a stealth mission in a videogame.

"I'm sick of always running to other people for help," he whispered through gritted teeth.

Turner looked down to see them return, _not_ expecting to see Ben with his uniform mostly open, strangulation marks on his neck, and a _blood-covered Kingston_. He hopped down off his bed in a flash to help Kingston set him down on his bed, and darted over to grab a rag to help Kingston clean up.

"What the fuck happened to him?" His words were hushed so no one outside the cell could hear. Ben remained silent.

Kingston appreciated the help, but couldn't respond for a moment. He was too busy shedding his uniform, walking over to the sink to get it washed. "Turner, boil some water for tea, please."

His emotional state had risen far beyond panic, and he was now in sheer military mode. _No one_ would hurt his family again.

Feeling like he owed his cellmate an explanation, he glossed over the situation as he scrubbed his uniform.

"Ben was in danger. I helped."

His mind was working faster than he was used to. With a deep sigh, he tried to collect his thoughts. There would be an investigation in no time, and he had to cover his bases.

Turner went to go boil water for him, almost a bit _frightened_ of the taller man and his anger. Even though he'd only known McDonagh for all of about five minutes, he seemed like the kind who would rage like that (or did, which is why he was in SHU), so seeing Kingston do it was actually somewhat worrying. He contemplated talking about it with Orozco later.

"I'm gonna wanna know more later, but for now that'll do." _Obviously_ there was more to it than that, but he wouldn't push it.

Ben remained deathly still. He was still warming up from being out in the cold, and moving at all was painful, especially his knees and neck, so he didn't speak either.

As the water boiled, Kingston left his uniform in the sink. What had been said about bloodstains? Salt and vinegar did the trick...? Those were both kitchen items.

He cringed before walking over to Ben, taking his hand and beginning to rub it, trying to gradually spread warmth through his body.

"I'm getting an idea," he murmured down to him, "but it's a real stretch. I'm gonna need your help when you feel better..."

If Ben felt better. God, he'd messed up.

Looking back at Turner, he groaned.

"Trust me, you don't want details."

Ben opened his eyes slowly and looked up to Kingston, eyes red and puffy. He could barely mumble out the words "tell me" before coughing, a wave of pain rolling through his body. Turner watched him from near the sink, feeling bad for the guy. He couldn't imagine what it was like to have such a target on his back that Ben did.

"Well, first of all, he can't really describe the situation without owning up to what he did to you, and that's already something in our favor, right? And even so, if we can find a way to conceal your bruises, we can say he's making it up."

His eyes darted about.

"We can say he did it to himself. We just need... we need to get drugs on him."

Ben nodded weakly. He didn't want to risk anything with drugs, but at the very least, even if the man didn't suffer any legal consequences for what he did, Ben was fine with confessing how his cellmate had saved him. Even if Kingston spent a week in the SHU, it was better than....

_...McDonagh..._

...Having him be sent there permanently.

Turner's mind began churning away as he contemplated what the guard could have done that he would not want his superiors and coworkers to know, but then remembering how Ben's uniform had been unzipped, he could only assume sexual violence.

And again, was grateful that he had never been targeted in that way.

And now, under Orozco, he never would be.

Kingston walked over to the boiling water and began to make the tea, pausing only to continue his train of thought.

"I dunno how to get the drugs on him, but I have an idea of where to get them. But it would have to be like... really soon."

Kingston faced Turner.

Ben opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was very soft.

"Confess.... self... defense..."

Another cough cut off his words. Turner raised an eyebrow at him before looking back at Kingston.

"Why are you lookin' at me?"

"I dunno if that's gonna cut it," he replied, "I kinda went above and beyond that."

Looking at Turner still, he began to bring the mug over to Ben.

"Can your man get me some PCP?"

It was a lot to ask, but it could work.

Turner groaned. "Fuck, man... I haven't even been a part of the cult for a _day_. I doubt it, but I could try."

Ben jolted. "Don't mention me!" With a groan, he turned to the side face in Kingston, looking up at the tea.

Kingston dropped down onto the bed, putting the tea in Ben's hands to keep him warm at least.

"You'd be doing me a huge solid. I'll do whatever you want in return," he promised Turner.

Turner rubbed the back of his neck and headed for the door.

"Fuckin'- fine, I'll try. No promises though."

Heading off, he went looking for Rivera or Costa, hoping one of them might be able to hook him up.

Ben took the tea and sat up a bit, hoping to sip it a bit, but needing a bit of help from Kingston.

Kingston sighed and mumbled a 'thanks', hoping this idea of his wouldn't somehow be worse than just sucking it up and confessing. He put a hand on Ben's back to help him up.

-

The two of them were playing chess near the window, the shorter man groaning in agony as the taller kicked his ass.

-

Ben leaned against Kingston as he drank, the warm drink helping his throat open up again. A few more tears slipped out of his eyes as he began mentally reliving the scene outside.

-

">Hey. Can I ask you two for a favor?<" Turner stood near them, keeping his voice low.

-

Kingston stroked his hair idly,  staying close beside him to share his warmth and let him know he was being cared for.

-

Costa looked relieved to have an interruption from the game, but Rivera sighed deeply. Turning, he shrugged.

">What's up, brother? <"

">I need... Something. Not much, because it needs to be expendable, but...<" Turner leaned his head in close, ">Drugs, PCP, heroin, anything like that. Just a bit.<"

Inside he felt his stomach churning hard.

Rivera leaned back in surprise. Costa leaned in.

">Shit, man, you an addict?<" Costa inquired.

Rivera looked pensive.

">By when do you need it?<"

">I, uh, I'm not but, I need it like, as absolutely soon as possible. Today, within the next few hours. Not much, just some.<"

His heart was racing.

"That's a tall order, man..." Costa accidentally slipped back into English, but he quickly went silent.

">We'll see what we can do. Might not be possible today, but we'll check. Wait for a note. <"

">Yeah, please do. It's important. And...thank you. Honestly.<" Turner hadn't entirely relaxed, but he felt better for sure.

They nodded, and Costa packed up the board before Rivera could protest... The two of them headed off to find Orozco.

Kingston was anxious. He felt like Turner genuinely wanted to care about the cell, but what if he was wrong?

Turner came back to the cell and sat down on Hullahaz's old bed, playing with his fingers nervously.

"They said they didn't know if they could get some today, but they'd try."

Kingston didn't say anything about where he was, but he did walk over and pull him into a brief hug.

"Thank you, really. I owe you big time."

"Thank you, really. I owe you big time."

He wasn't sure what he _could_ do for Turner, but he'd try.

Turner returned the hug and smiled at him.

"Yeah man, it's... The whole situation is just so messed up. I'm glad I can help in any way."

Ben had finished his tea and was sleeping it off.

Kingston felt a sudden love for the man, and pressed their foreheads together as the situation dawned on him better.

Turner didn't mind the show of affection, the last bit of any kind of physical affection he'd had being his initiation, and before that, nothing in years, so he closed his eyes.

Kingston eventually gave him breathing room, keeping an eye on Ben...

Turner relaxed back eyeing the man lying on Kingston's bed.

From even the brief time he'd been a part of their cell, he could tell that Ben had been through a lot.

Kingston would talk about it, but he knew it wasn't his place.

By the afternoon, half the prison knew about the guard.

Orozco was contacting all his dealers with a frown. What had happened for his newest member to need drugs so badly? And what was this he was hearing about an injured guard?? He knew once the package arrived he'd have to bribe a guard to get it, since shipment hadn't been scheduled for today, and he kept an eye out for someone he could hopefully ensnare.

Garcia was walking around the prison, keeping an eye on things. He'd heard about the guard with his eyes clawed out, and it sent a cold shiver down his spine.

Orozco silently praised the gods for giving him a Latino guard. It didn't mean it would be any easier, but he could try, right?

He'd been exhausted lately, Hullahaz's pain seemingly flaring up again.

"Hey. _Oy_. "

Leaning over the edge of the storage room, he flagged Garcia down.

Garcia froze and looked over to see the resident kingpin waving him over. With a groan, he swallowed the lump in his throat.

"What is it, inmate? What do you need?"

A small smile on his face, he ran a hand through his hair, not quite meeting eyes with the guard.

"I have a package arriving soon, and I need some help getting it. You know how regulations are always on my ass, right?"

Sighing, Garcia moved over to him and led him to receiving.

It was empty there, and he worried that perhaps the man would try to eat his heart or something there. The man was pretty unpredictable...

Orozco smiled at him and took his hand, giving it a squeeze.

"Thank you," he cooed, "I'll make sure you get extra good food this week."

With a chuckle, he waited around for the cargo truck.

"Unless you have some other form of payment in mind."

Garcia was absentmindedly scuffling his feet about but tensed up when he heard the inmate suggest something likely sexual.

Rubbing the back of his head, he laughed uneasily.

"I, uh, well food will probably be fine." He wasn't sure how to get out of this situation, despite being a guard. Up this point, Garcia had survived by not making prisoners his enemy, and he sure as hell wouldn't start now.

"Are you sure?"

Orozco wouldn't push, but he hadn't had much time to get down and dirty with _anyone_ in days, having been tending to emotional wounds instead. It took a lot out of him, but he was hungry.

The package shouldn't be here for a little while, anyway...

"Do you speak Spanish or _sólo inglés_? "

Garcia bit his lip. ">I'm probably a little rusty but...<" Just what was Orozco _getting at_ anyway?

Standing up a bit straighter, he cleared his throat, trying to make himself feel more confident again.

"Oooh..." He could play a little game if he wanted, then. He had time to kill.

He'd push his luck a bit, just for fun.

">Then I wonder how much of this you'll understand. If I were in your situation, I'd be pinning me to the ground and tearing my clothes off.<"

Garcia could understand about 95% of it, and he gasped, moving back against the wall. So the prisoner really WAS coming onto him...

He wasn't gonna lie, he found Orozco quite attractive, but he'd always resisted any temptation to get sexual with the inmates.

">T-That's improper conduct, Orozco. I couldn't do that.<"

He didn't realize he didn't say he _wouldn't_.

"Hey, don't be afraid... It's just talk..."

Orozco, short as he was, made himself look more available (and docile) by tilting his head to the side and shrinking his arms to his body.

">I'm just teasing you anyway. It's not like I _want_ your lips all over my body, licking and sucking away at my skin as if you'd never been laid before... Of course I don't want to run my hands down your front and unbutton your uniform... <"

He looked to the side, as if offended.

Garcia'a breath hitched and he closed his eyes, turning his head to face away.

"> _Orozco, stop_... <" His voice soft, the guard was rocking a half chub now, trying to think of things that weren't what the inmate was describing to him.

"Alright."

Leaning against the wall with a little smile on his face, he crossed his arms and puffed out his chest. He'd gotten _somewhere_ , he was sure of it, but he didn't want to push his luck. He'd see if the guard came to him...

"If that's what you want," he whispered.

Putting a hand over his mouth, Garcia opened his eyes and looked back over at the other man, gritting his teeth. His erection was only getting bigger, and his self-restraint weaker.

"Fuck... C-C'mere..." He didn't even have any plans for when Orozco moved closer to him, he just wanted the man to be closer to him.

He fluttered his eyes back in joy and walked over to him, coming to rest beside him on the wall he was leaning on. He knew guards could get away with literal murder in here, so it was unlikely they'd get in much trouble if seen by another.

Still... There was always that risk.

He wasn't sure if Garcia _liked_ sharp teeth, so he kept them concealed for the time being, though the temptation to bite his lip was strong. He brushed up against him lightly, closing his eyes.

Garcia was unable to resist placing a hand on Orozco's cheek, pulling himself in closer to the man, mouth hanging open.

He had never had any kind of random hookup like this, and in a power imbalance way, didn't want to just ask him to suck him off.

Kissing might be weird too, but it's what the man wanted. Glancing away, Garcia sighed.

"Can I.... >kiss you?<"

Orozco didn't reply for a moment, instead slowly reaching out to take Garcia by the front of the uniform, pulling him down to be at his level and practically forcing them to lock eyes.

Nudging him slowly at first with his forehead, he slowly brought their lips together, wanting to savor the moment before things got more intense- if they did.

His free hand trailed up to run through Garcia's hair, nails ever so slightly grazing his scalp.

Being pulled closer to the man only made him blush harder, and by the time their lips met, he was almost like putty in the man's grip.

"Mmmm...." Garcia wrapped an arm around the man's back, holding him tightly and keeping his other hand on Orozco's cheek. His erection was pushing against the inmate for all it was worth.

Orozco's eyes rolled back again as he pushed into the kiss, hand slowly trailing from the front of Garcia's uniform to his erection, which he tenderly rubbed through the fabric of his pants.

He had the feeling this was his first time with an inmate. Something about that excited him to no end, and he began to feel his own uniform tighten.

Trying to be held up more, he attempted to lean back in Garcia's grip in order to have him hold him up...

Garcia moaned into the inmate's mouth as he felt his erection being played with, and noticing how he was falling back, moved his other hand to the man's back and gripped him tightly.

His hips began to move on their own as he felt Orozco getting his own erection, and he "ahh'd" into the man's mouth as the sensation filled his body.

"Fuck, Orozco... I want... I want _more_ of you..."

Garcia's moans only served to exhilarate him, and he found himself giving the guard a squeeze through his pants. His pent-up sexual energy meant that _absolutely_ , he would fuck a copper in the loading area.

He whimpered as he felt Garcia rub up against him, closing his eyes for a moment before pushing his chest up. His grip on the guard tightened.

"Come and get more, baby...  I'll give you everything..."

Garcia's mouth hung open and he moved to push Orozco back up against a wall in a hurry. Undoing his pants, he pulled the zipper down on Orozco's uniform and began stroking the man's large cock, putting a hand under the inmate's leg to lift him up. Now with the man's asshole more accessible, he gently teased the entrance with his tip as he pushed back into the kisses.

Orozco moaned loudly at the sudden rush in Garcia's actions, putting his hands up against the wall as he tilted his head to one side, allowing himself a blush as he was stroked, absolutely adoring the feeling of being _wanted_ so badly. He looked down with a little whine, reaching for Garcia's cock to give it a stroke as he felt it near him.

Wrapping his leg around the guard more tightly, he closed his eyes and waited as he gave him quick and gentle kisses. It would hurt, but he was so eager...

Garcia knew that they had no lube, but the man seemed too excited to care, and with a leg hooked over him, he knew he couldn't back out of this now.

With a groan, he pushed up and into Orozco, slowly at first, hoping that the precum he had been leaking would provide _some_ lubrication.

He winced and cried out, soon biting his own lip to keep himself quiet before taking Garcia's hand and putting it over his mouth, licking at his fingers in an attempt to soothe himself. He didn't move, and he hoped the guard wouldn't either, at least for a second.

Opening his eyes once he was feeling more ready, he cast a glance up at Garcia.

Garcia held his jaw and kissed him as his partner got acclimated to the sex without lube, and hearing him cry out made him almost want to stop and wait until he had some he could use, but that wasn't an option.

Once Orozco looked at him, he pushed in a little further before slowly pulling out.

Orozco's breathing was shaky, but he was pushing up against the guard, trying to busy his mouth whenever he wasn't being kissed. He felt too _dressed_ , so he managed to push his shirt up as he waited for Garcia's next move. It wasn't coming soon enough, though...

"Come on... I'm okay, you can put it back in..."

"Y-you sure?" He was already pushing back in again while he spoke. Leaning his head back in, he gave Orozco a bunch more kisses along his neck, thrusting in a bit harder before easing off and leaving just the tip in, and then ramming in again with a grunt.

Orozco shivered and chuckled as he was kissed, a few moans escaping him as his body trembled. The harder thrust made him gasp, and he nodded slowly, arms tightly around Garcia now.

">Plea<\- AH!"

He tossed his head back, pushing up against the guard more.

">Like that, like that...<"

Garcia was driven _wild_ by Orozco's yelling moans, and he slipped his hand down the man's cock to slowly start jerking him off as his thrusts picked up speed.

">Yeah baby? You like it?<" The man couldn't help himself.

He moaned and nodded, gripping him tighter as he rocked his hips against Garcia's cock, also helping himself get off as his own cock rubbed up against the guard's hand. The only thing better than this would be to be watched...

">Come... See me again after this...<"

Garcia nodded, panting as he continued to kiss him. He knew he wouldn't last at this rate, and as his orgasm built up, he leaned down and latched his teeth into Orozco's neck to brace himself.

Pushing in harder, he rode out the orgasm as he emptied himself deep inside of the smaller man, groaning loudly.

"No, don't finish yet..." Orozco whimpered, clinging to Garcia as he was filled up, the feeling of teeth on his neck almost enough to make him cum, too.

His toes curled, and he desperately wished they were in the shower, so he could just turn over and do it again and get as messy as he wanted... But right now he couldn't cum, could he? It would get on his clothes... Or on Garcia's...

Straining himself, his breathing became shallow.

Garcia noticed how Orozco _hadn't_ cum, and after letting himself finish cumming, pulled out and gently set the man down, getting onto his knees and attempting to suck him off as best he could.

"A-aahh...!"

He'd never been _touched_ by a guard before, much less _serviced_ , and the mere sight of someone in uniform (especially someone as cute as Garcia) had his cock twitch and throb within his mouth.

His legs were shaking, so he slowly slid down to the floor, making it a bit more difficult to be sucked off.

"Fuck...!"

Garcia could feel Orozco slipping, so he pulled off of him and hold him with his hands, bringing him down to the floor slowly.

">Easy, easy, I got you baby...<"

Once the smaller man was all the way on the floor, Garcia went back to sucking him off.

He let his hips swing up and his head roll back, and very gently he found himself reaching for Garcia's head, stroking his hair as he sighed and moaned.

">Language like that makes me almost fall in love...<" He teased through a strained voice. ">Have you... done this before...?<"

He hardly noticed the sound of an engine approaching.

">Once, a few years ago.<" Garcia had been almost exclusively with women, but had a little experience with men.

Hearing the sounds of an approaching truck startled him though, and he increased his pace in the hopes that Orozco would cum quickly. For added measure, he even slipped two fingers into his ass, playing with the cum inside.

">Ooh... You're very g-< Hnn!" His toes curled, legs folding up as he gripped Garcia's hair, playing with his chest a bit in order to heighten the sensations. He knew he'd reach his limit any minute now...

Right as the doors rolled open, he hit his climax, gasping and crying out in delight as he came down Garcia's throat... He'd now be able to add 'fucking a guard' to his list of achievements. He knew the driver of the truck would see him lying there panting, but he hardly cared.

Hell, with how horny he was feeling still, he'd fuck him too if he wanted.

Garcia swallowed him quickly and in a panic, wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him out of view, back behind an earlier shipment.

">Wait here!<"

He stood up and wandered off before going over to the driver to sign off on the shipment.

Orozco yelped as he was suddenly pulled away from the scene and deposited behind some crates. He sat there confused, in a pleasured daze, as he tried to zip his uniform back up with a little smile.

_Guess not everyone likes to be seen!_

Smoothing out his hair, he decided to let it loose and redo the braid once he was back in his cell.

After signing off on the delivery, and once the driver left, Garcia came back over to where he left Orozco and stopped once he saw the man lying there with his hair undone.

"F-fuck... You're gorgeous..."

Orozco sat up at once, face reddening momentarily as he laughed and put a hand through his hair. "You think so?"

He wasn't used to being told things like that outside of being fucked, and he would never have expected a _guard_ to tell him of all people.

"You're pretty handsome yourself..."

Garcia blushed and looked down, moving down the lie down beside him.

"I'd say that that was probably the most _thrilling_ sex I've ever had..."

Laying beside him, Orozco scooted up to the guard and put his head on his shoulder.

"I want to do it again."

But he had something else to do... He had to get the package back to Turner. He waited to see what Garcia would say.

"I....I think both of us have been out long enough." He turned his head to look at the other man and kissed his forehead. "But... I'd like to do it again sometime. Maybe next time you need something in receiving when no one's around?" His words were followed with a light chuckle.

Looking to the side quite coquettishly, he sat up, taking the package and putting it in his lap. "I need to get this back anyhow."

He laughed to himself and nodded, hair falling over his shoulders. "Maybe, if I ever want to smuggle illegal goods, I'll have you by my side... I'll let you have a taste, too."

Garcia laughed nervously. "I-I think I'd rather just have a taste of you instead. I'm tryin' to avoid hard drugs."

Looking over at the package, he tilted his head but decided not to pry. "Hope you got what you needed." Standing up, he reached a hand down to help Orozco off the floor.

"I hope I did too, but I won't know until I've opened it. For all I know, this could contain rat poison." Allowing himself to be lifted up, he tucked his package under one arm before tugging on Garcia a little bit.

Once he leaned down enough, he pulled the guard into a long, slow kiss. Pulling away, he looked into his eyes before beginning to move away. "I can find my way back," he purred.

Garcia felt his eyes flutter and a silly grin forming on his face after the kiss. Orozco was simply _intoxicating_.

"Mmkay... See you around..." Still giggling to himself, he lazily wandered back into the hall, following him out.

Orozco looked over his shoulder once and flashed him a smile before turning the corner.

He stopped by his cell to give Hullahaz a cuddle, which he responded to with a small smile. Orozco felt pretty awful abandoning him there, especially since his charges were far worse than the tattooed man's, yet he got to walk free...

It wasn't long before he had his package sent off to Turner. He'd deliver it in person, but the last thing he wanted was to see the rest of his cell.

Turner was standing near the door of his cell, waiting around anxiously, when he spotted someone walking towards him with a package. With a sigh of relief, he watched them approach and turned back to Kingston.

"I think this is it."

Kingston sighed deeply in relief and looked over at Turner, putting his hands out.

"How'd they get it so fast? Do they just have this shit on call?"

He'd make a joke about joining, but he didn't want to upset Ben. Opening the package, he made sure that yes, it was exactly what he needed.

"Beats me. But I ain't gonna question a good thing." Looking over at Ben, he saw that he hadn't really moved much.

Kingston nodded and set it on the table, rubbing his nose.

"Alright alright, so. I need a plan now. I need a good, solid, foolproof plan... And I mean I think I got it, but I can't put myself in danger right now."

Ben finally managed to wake up and started to eavesdrop on their conversation. It seemed as though they _did_ manage to wrangle up some drugs, which was the most helpful thing Orozco had ever done for Ben.

"If the guard is in the infirmary, then how would we get the drugs on him? Does he have someplace he stays where one of us can cry wolf about him having drugs?"

Turner hadn't anticipated Ben to wake up and immediately help out, but he nodded in agreement.

"If I know one thing about the guards here, it's that they have lockers. If we can somehow find his and slip the shit in, we'll have that covered at least. But I wonder if we should go the extra mile and make sure he's got some in his system too..."

Kingston rubbed his chin and began to pace around, slipping in a quiet 'hi, by the way' as he did so.

"Obviously we don't have access to the lockers, but we could persuade someone to back you up if you came forward. You could say he seemed off."

Ben shivered. "I-I can't see him again.... I can't be beat him..." Turner stepped forward.

"If he's blind, he'll literally never see it coming. Don't know how many guards are protecting him though, or how we should get it into his system, but it could work. But..." He looked back over at Ben, "You might have to come forward and say you were the last person to see him, and say he seemed high on something. I'm not sure."

"Oh, he's blind. I made sure." There's a foreign darkness to Kingston's voice, something sinister and malicious that hadn't seen the light of day before. Running the situation through his head, he sat down with a frown.

"I mean, there's going to be an investigation. They're going to ask us questions. If you say you saw him last, they might assume it was you, but we can formulate an alibi. If he insists he saw you, then he'd be forced to own up to his shit sooner or later."

"I mean, I can be honest. I was outside eating chips when he approached me. I don't have to mention...the other things... But I can say he seemed high. But still, how are we gonna get those drugs into his locker and his system?"

Turner thought for a moment. Moving over to the box, he took a rag and a baggy and opened it up, pouring some out onto the rag. Zipping up the bag again, he stuffed both into his pockets.

"I'll be right back."

And just like that, he was off for Orozco again.

Kingston couldn't fit a word in before Turner was speeding off, and he hoped he wouldn't be intercepted by any guards... He knew it was only a matter of time until they were all forced to remain in their cells.

"Man. He sure is earning his place here, huh?" He smirked, crossing his arms. "I really do gotta do something big for him as thanks."

-

Orozco was slaving away in the kitchen, making a variant of beef stew. Not all he made was Mexican food, but he did always add far more spices than would be expected.

-

If Ben hadn't been in such a low mood, he probably would have joked about Kingston offering the man a blowjob.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I do too, I mean, this is all because of my stupid decision to go out alone, especially when I promised you I'd be fine..."

-

Knowing it was around dinner time, Turner logically headed for the kitchen, although this only made his situation a bit more difficult.

">Hey, can I talk to you privately for a moment?<"

-

"Hey, none of this was your fault, alright? It shouldn't have happened." Kingston got up from his seat and walked over to the bed, wrapping an arm around Ben to give him a squeeze.

"It shouldn't have happened at all."

-

Orozco barely noticed Turner come in, but he looked up at him as he heard Spanish being spoken in his direction. With a bit of a frown, he whistled and asked his sous-chef of the day to come stir the pot while he was gone.

Guiding Turner to the storage room, he closed the door behind them. ">What's wrong? Did you not get the package?<"

-

"I...." Ben didn't reply. Kingston was right, even if Ben being out on his own was risky. He could only reach over and hug him as thanks, closing his eyes.

-

">Don't worry, I got it, but... I need to get it someplace sensitive. I honestly would have asked for all this immediately if I had known, but... Is there a way to get it to the guard lockers...?<" It was a long shot asking for something like this, but he had to try. ">If you have an in with a guard, that would make it a lot easier, but it needs to go there. That's the last thing I'll ask for for a while though, I promise.<"

-

Kingston felt terrible knowing that if he'd left the cell any sooner, this could have been avoided. He should have trusted his gut and headed out immediately, instead of dilly-dallying and holding a conversation about Orozco of all people.

-

Orozco's face furrowed into a perplexed frown. ">What the hell have you gotten yourself into, Turner?<" He looked more concerned now than anything, and he began to pace around the small room. ">Are you trying to frame a guard for something?<" Could it have anything to do with the one in the infirmary?

"Because that's very risky," he concluded in English, just to drive the point home.

"Of course I know it's risky! I just... >The man is disgusting, and I want to see him lose his job.<" It took all the precision of a heart surgeon to avoid suggesting that anything had happened to Ben, since he knew that Orozco would instantly stop helping him if he knew what he'd been aiding.

">I'll do _anything_ to make it up to you, I just need this one last thing. That's all. Again, if you have a guard I can talk to, introduce him to me and I'll take care of everything. <"

Large eyes studying Turner, he stopped pacing to hum in thought. It was true that the guard in question, if they were thinking of the same one, was a sleaze. Most of them were disagreeable and borderline abusive, but the one in the hospital bed had had this shit coming. ">If it's true he's blind, he'll have to forcefully retire anyhow.<"

However, he saw Turner's dedication, and he figured ruining the guard's life further couldn't be so bad. ">There is one, but I think it would be best if I spoke to him. By when do you need this done?<"

A huge wave of relief swept through him, and he handed the bag back to Orozco.

">As soon as possible. Before the end of today, ideally. Make sure your man doesn't go home, or if he does, do it before then. Thank you so much Orozco...<"

Growling softly to himself, he nodded up at Turner. He had no idea whether Garcia would still be around, or whether he'd even want to see him again, but he'd have to try extra hard, it seemed...

"Run along now. Córrele! Before I change my mind." He was usually a lot more patient with his acolytes, especially the new ones, but this was a tall and dangerous order.

Turner nodded and jogged out of the kitchen, heading to his next destination: the infirmary.

When he arrived, there were no guards around, only a nurse who was faced away and preoccupied with paperwork. The door to her office was ajar, and with the utmost care, he closed it silently and she didn't even notice.

Turning the corner, he could see the guard in question lying in the bed with bandages over his eyes and a mask over his face. There was another inmate behind a curtain, but they were silent and not a concern. As he inspected the room, he looked to see if there would be an easy way for him to get the drugs into the guard, and currently, his best option was to get him to swallow it. Spying the cup of water, he took what he had in the rag out and dumped it into the water cup, mixing it up with his finger. Keeping his voice low, he pulled the man's face mask off slowly, causing him to stir.

"Please drink more water, sir, you need to stay hydrated." There wasn't much the guard could do to protest, and Turner didn't stop until the whole thing was downed, putting the mask back on and leaving the infirmary silently, the crushed up cup in his pocket.

He tossed it in a cafeteria trash can, alone with the rag, on his way back up to the cell.

"Well, it's taken care of. Mostly. Orozco said he would get the bag into his locker by the end of the day, and he should be feeling the effects soon."

Kingston jumped up as soon as Turner re-entered the cell. Part of him was anxious beyond belief, but another part was relieved, and the two were at war with each other. He stood up and made his way over to Turner.

"What, really? Just like that?"

Laughing nervously, he began to fidget with his uniform.

"Part of me almost wants to feel bad for this motherfucker, but then I remember... And it feels fucking _good_ to see him go down."

Orozco, in the meantime, was patrolling the halls in the only way he knew how- having his acolytes comb the prison and get back to him. When one of them finally gave him coordinates on where Garcia was, he took a deep breath, chopped his last strawberry, and headed out to meet him.

-

"I've only been here for a short while, but I understand that this guy is pretty awful. It was with no lack of personal satisfaction that I got to watch him swallow the drugged-up water at my hand."

Ben imagined it and it made him smile.

-

Garcia was walking down a hall when he saw Orozco coming for him. His eyes softened, but he was still nervous about being seen.

"Hey, what's up?"

-

Kingston gave Turner an enthusiastic high five before pulling him into a bear hug. It seemed like he would be a part of the family after all... And maybe this whole cult thing wasn't so bad.

If anything, it had proven itself useful.

Turner was taken aback by the sudden hug, but he accepted it warmly.

Kingston turned to Ben with a grin, although he was still nervous.

"See? It's all gonna work out."

-

Jerking his head to the side, towards a sign reading 'BOILER ROOM', he opened the door and slid himself inside, waiting for Garcia to follow.

This would not be easy to ask. Not easy at all.

Garcia wondered if this would be another sexual adventure for them, but Orozco's face indicated something otherwise, and he reluctantly followed him in.

">I have a huge favor to ask you. I'll repay you, I promise, but you _must_ do this for me. I need this... <" He procured the drugs, feeling his chest tighten, ">In Carson's locker.<"

Garcia gasped and moved back, but sighed and rubbed his face as he closed his eyes.

">That's.... That's a lot to ask....<"

He really, _really_ didn't want to do it, didn't want to even be touching drugs, but seeing the look of desperation on Orozco's face made his heart pang, and he knew that he wouldn't have asked him to do this without good reason.

">I'll have to do it soon... Since I don't have a night shift tonight, but... Okay.<"

He felt better knowing that the guard being framed was _Carson_ of all people, despite earlier's events.

">I'll try to swing by the kitchen before I leave to let you know, if you would like.<"

Orozco exhaled in utter relief, his entire body relaxing as he handed Garcia the 'cargo' as carefully as possible. He'd have to thank him extensively, seeing as he was putting his career on the line for an inmate he'd only _really_ gotten to know for a few hours.

">I could kiss you right now. Thank you...<"

Now he'd be able to tell Turner he'd done as requested, and that feeling was superior to any nervousness about being caught.

">Oh, come by my cell instead. I'm leaving dinner to my men tonight- they know what to do... I just need to rest. Believe it or not, things like these are exhausting, though also pretty exciting...<"

Garcia resisted the urge to say "please do."

">Will do. I hope you manage to relax a bit tonight, since I know you do so much for the prison.<" Giving Orozco a smile, he felt his heart race again, both from his proximity to the other man, as well as remembering the task ahead of him.

">I-I should probably go...<"

He pushed some hair behind his ear with a small smile. ">I _do_ do a lot, don't I... A good minute to just rest will do me good. <"

Chuckling, he nodded and gently coaxed Garcia back out into the hall, wishing him luck.

">And thank you again. If only the whole prison had guards like you...<"

He'd be getting _far_ more cock, for sure.

Laughing nervously Garcia began to walk towards the guard lockers.

"Yeah, it would probably be more pleasant, wouldn't it?" In an attempt to sound like nothing sneaky had been going on, he switched back to English.

He was a fool, but he was a fool in love.

Orozco waved him off with a grin and went back to giving orders to his men, making sure nobody messed up the recipe and asking, very gently, for Santoro to return the ingredients he'd stolen to the kitchen, to which he pouted.

Back in the cell, he draped himself over Hullahaz and told him that he was going to have a visitor later in the day. Tracing his chest lovingly, he ignored the puffs of smoke that were now permeating the top bunk.

Hullahaz said nothing, but he ran a hand through Orozco's hair nonetheless.

Garcia was quick in and out of the locker area. It took very little time to locate his coworker's belongings, and moving around as little as possible, stuffed the bag into his backpack.

Rushing out, the made a beeline for Orozco's cell, stopping just before the door. Stepping in front of it, he said ">It's done.<"

Orozco was lying on the bed, completely shirtless and with his uniform unzipped down to his hips. He seemed to be flipping through a magazine, but when he saw Garcia, he sat up, hands flat on the bed as he leaned forward excitedly.

">Ah, perfect, thank you! You're quickly becoming a trusted friend... <" He'd say 'a favorite', but he didn't want to scare him away.

Garcia laughed nervously, trying not to blush when he looked up and down (subtly) at Orozco. A _lot_ had happened in this one day, hadn't it?

"W-well, I hope you have a good night then Orozco. I'll probably see you around tomorrow?" He wasn't too sure how to end this....

"Aw, you're too sweet... I probably will have a good night," he nodded, tilting his head in the exact same way he'd done just hours prior, his chest puffing out. "But it could always be better..."

Closing his eyes, he slid forward just the tiniest bit. "You know where to find me if you ever need me, Garcia..."

Garcia felt his pants tighten _just a little bit_ , and he bit his lip, holding his breath.

He _knew_ the man had a cellmate, and he didn't want to do anything.... That would make things weird. For anyone.

"O-of course...."

Hullahaz was honestly above and beyond caring who Orozco invited in and what they did, and had in fact taken to the top bunk for that exact reason. He'd say something, but he would be bursting their bubble.

Orozco leaned forward further, sliding along the covers as he stuck his ass out, tilting his head in the opposite direction.

"Goodnight, then...?"

It was just like earlier for the man, and he exhaled deeply, taking a step inside of the cell... And then a step to the side away from the door. But he didn't move any further.

Covering his eyes with his hand, he muttered " _fuck_ " to himself.

Orozco looked at him with those large eyes of his, flirtatious curiosity written all over his face as he wiggled his ass slowly before moving to lie on his side, eyes still glued to Garcia.

The slight smell of smoke really added to the atmosphere, he thought.

Garcia moved closer to the blind corner of the cell (with regards to the door) and leaned back against the wall, undoing his pants with shaky hands.

"Sorry, I just don't wanna get caught..." His voice was very hushed and he Iicked his lips nervously.

"No one patrols the cells at this hour," Orozco purred, lying on his back now, hips pushed up as his torso was exposed again. His angle made it so his hair covered half his face. "You won't be seen..."

And as a guard, whatever he did was his business. "Now show me that big cock of yours..."

Moving down to his knees, Garcia got closer to Orozco and pulled the front of his pants down, letting his erection hang free in front of the inmate. Somehow, the thought of displaying himself like this for Orozco aroused him even more, and he chuckled.

"Hope you like it... Again."

Without having to turn more than an inch, Orozco smiled before running his tongue down the underside of Garcia's shaft, getting familiar with the taste. He hadn't gotten a chance to suck on it before, and his expression betrayed his elation. Was he being greedy? He hardly cared.

Being sucked off by Orozco was a test of faith, as the man's sharp teeth softly pushed up against the flesh of Garcia's cock as he began to slide him in.

Garcia whimpered as he felt the teeth, not moving much to avoid piercing himself.

Looking up, Orozco couldn't help but smirk. Was he making Garcia nervous? The surge of power made him press his tongue more firmly to the guard's shaft.

With a slightly louder moan, Garcia felt himself growing weaker, and he fell forward onto his hands, now standing on them and his knees above Orozco. Lifting one hand to his face, he continued to try and hide his blush.

Orozco moaned softly as he took Garcia's length slowly, sliding it further into his mouth and near his throat. His legs squeezed together and his toes curled around the blanket, his eyes closing for a moment before looking back up at the guard with nothing but lust.

Garcia could feel himself being drawn into the bright red eyes of the inmate below him, causing him to buck his hips a bit and slide further into Orozco's mouth.

"S-sorry..." He whispered through his fingers, which were still pressed to his lips.

Orozco nearly chuckled as he took Garcia further into his mouth, putting a hand up as if to say 'it's no problem', giving his cock a slight suck as he pressed his legs further together, sighing.

The fact Garcia was so flustered was adorable to him, and he found himself sucking harder the further he slid the man in.

The man's moans only grew louder, and before long, he was rhythmically thrusting himself inside of Orozco's mouth, eyes closed as he focused all his energy on not falling down onto the inmate sucking him off.

" _Oh god Orozco_..." His voice was breathy and he whined, wanting to just thrust with all his energy instead of restraining himself so he wouldn't hurt either one of them.

Hullahaz looked over the edge of the bunk with a soft scowl, but he soon went back to minding his own business. The spectacle was kind of hot, after all. The fact Orozco had been able to seduce a guard was admirable.

Orozco's eyes rolled back, one hand on Garcia's hip as the other gripped the sheets, tongue completely out and flat against Garcia's cock. He sucked hard, but as he was practically being used as a toy (which he found arousing), he let the guard do most of the work.

Eventually, it became too much to handle, and he dropped his uniform to let his erection breathe.

Garcia instantly noticed when Orozco revealed his erection, and as quickly as he could, he wrapped his hand around the smaller man's cock to start stroking it.

_"Nnng.... f-fuck...."_

Whimpering lightly, yet drawing out the sound, Orozco pushed against Garcia's hips with more insistence, saliva running down the side of his mouth as he took on more than he could probably handle at once.

His own hips moved upwards, pushing his cock against Garcia's hand as a means of relief. Precum began to decorate his stomach.

Garcia's cock throbbed in the inmate's mouth as he felt his orgasm getting closer, and before long he came hard down Orozco's throat, groaning loudly and squeezing the other man's cock in his hand, eyes shutting tightly.

Orozco swallowed hard, emitting a squeak as he continued to swing his hips against Garcia's hand- he'd built up an endurance to sexual situations due to the sheer amount of sexual contact he got. Once his breathing passage was cleared, he gasped and panted, eyes shut tight as he licked idly at the guard's cock still. He was close, but he needed a moment to breathe...

Pulling out of Orozco's mouth a bit, Garcia moved down to hover his lips over the tip of the smaller man's cock. He licked his lips to wet them a bit before sliding him into his mouth, the broad side of his tongue rubbing against the skin of his head.

With another little squeak, Orozco held the sheets tighter, burying his face in them as he moved up slowly against Garcia's lips, wanting him to taste every inch of his cock.

"That's it, baby..."

Whimpering again, Garcia pushed Orozco as far into his mouth as he could, deeper than he had earlier that day (he could hardly believe that this had all happened within a single _day_ ), and sucked on him a bit before pulling off just enough to breathe momentarily.

And then he was back, moving his head up and down on the man's cock, his eyes closed as he focused.

"Mmmnn-oohh... It's _good_..." He closed his eyes and lost himself to the sensation, occasionally taking a peek to remind himself of just who was sucking him off, before letting his eyes roll back again. The pace seemed relaxed for now...

Until Garcia got really into it, causing Fury to moan almost breathlessly.  "Fuck, give me more...!"

Garcia let a smile form on his face for a split second before refocusing on his task, and he slid his hand down to Orozco's balls, gently massaging them. He was so _eager_ to taste the man again, and the precum that leaked into his mouth only made him suck more energetically.

Shuddering against the sheets, Orozco sighed deeply before moaning again, much preferring to be vocal than to be quiet- he felt it was more rewarding for everyone involved, and it kept them coming back for more. Once Garcia began to play with his balls, he arched his back, a long, high-pitched whimper following.

"I-I _can't_ , I'm gonna..."

Melting into the bed, he let his orgasm course through him as he emptied himself in the guard's mouth for the second time that day.

Garcia pushed Orozco as far in as possible and felt the cum dribbling on the back of his tongue. Slowly pulling him out, he swallowed the fluid down and chuckled softly, resting his head on Orozco's torso while he caught his breath.

Panting and moaning quietly, Orozco let his arms hang at his sides for a bit before putting a hand on Garcia's head, stroking his hair softly. He adored physical contact, and he adored having people throw themselves at him... It never got old, and he liked to think he did a good job of giving back to those who serviced him.

"If I'm lucky, I'll keep tasting you all week..."

Garcia purred a bit and lifted his head up to turn it to the other side, facing Orozco now.

"I hope I can say the same about you..." The comment was a bit more flirtatious than he normally felt he was, but it seemed good in the moment.

Orozco licked his lips and chuckled, reaching down to stroke Garcia's cheek, tucking his leg up slowly.

"You know where to find me if you ever need me," he whispered, and in the back of his mind he wondered if there was someone waiting for the guard at home, asking themselves what was keeping him late at work...

Nodding slowly, he reluctantly moved away from Orozco and stood up, buttoning up his pants. He only hoped he could make it home without needing to pull over for a break, with his legs as weak as they were. Hell, if he could make it back to his _locker_.

Which reminded him of what he'd done not even an hour ago.

"Will do, Orozco." Rubbing the back of his neck, he cast the inmate a smile before heading out the door of the cell.

Orozco watched him go with a little smile, his only regret being that they hadn't kissed before Garcia had left. Oh well, there would be more chances for sure...

Lying there nearly naked with his hair fanned out on the bed, he barely reacted when Hullahaz made his way down to the bottom bunk.

"You sure had your fun."

"Sorry if that was weird..."

"Nah, you do you."

"I can do you, too~"

After the day he'd had, Ben willingly opted out of dinner, despite being hungry. He had no desire to be around other people aside from Turner and Kingston, so he insisted he stay behind (but promised he'd eat if they brought something back).

Spending dinner time alone in the cell proved to only make him miss McDonagh, and by extension Hullahaz.

Kingston was understandably reluctant to leave Ben behind, but he knew there was no real reason anything should happen to him. It was just a worry that plagued him.

McDonagh was counting the hours until his release. It should be tomorrow, right? Yes, tomorrow... he'd be back where he belongs. He couldn't wait to see everyone again.

Hullahaz had become suspiciously aware of the situation with the guard, and something didn't sit right with him. If it hadn't been McDonagh, who had it been? And why?

Turner ate with the other cult members at dinner, at least, for a while, before he noticed Kingston sitting alone and seeming distant. Picking up his tray, he carried it over and sat down across from his cellmate, taking another bite of food.

"Hey, shit'll work out aight?"

Kingston looked up at Turner with a disdained expression. "You think...?"

He had used his brain a lot more than he was used to, and he dreaded to think what would happen if it had all been for nothing.

"Yeah, I do. And even if shit doesn't go the way we planned, at the end of the day, you didn't do a bad thing by defending Ben, and you didn't touch the drugs. You're virtually untouchable." The meal filled him up quickly, and he set his fork down after taking a final bite.

"I fuckin'..." He dropped his voice to a whisper, closing his eyes. "I fuckin' lost it, dude. I just... Couldn't handle being useless anymore. Everyone around me gets hurt and I can't do shit. No more."

Kingston was aware of the odd looks Turner was getting by being with him.

Turner ignored the stares. If anyone asked, they were cellmates, and it was clear that Kingston was out of it, so sitting together shouldn't be too weird.

"Yeah... I know what you mean." He paused, contemplating revealing a bit more about himself in public. "Maybe not in the same vein, but when I turned 18, I got tired of being a certain way. Except when I tried to change it, I wound up in max. At least now shit's better for me." It was hard to skirt around the direct wording.

"Anyway, I'll see you back up at the cell." Standing up, he carried his tray over to the trash and emptied it off before making his way back.

Kingston opened his mouth to respond, very nearly saying that at least Turner didn't up and claw someone's eyes out in his turning-a-new-leaf process, but he had a bit more foresight than that. With a gentle sigh, he nodded.

"You're really growing on me, Turner. Thanks for not turning me away."

It was true. Turner went off and joined Orozco's cult, meaning he had no real obligation to do anything for his cellmates, but he'd put himself on the line for Ben and Kingston's sakes already, even after how they'd chewed him out.

"And I'm sorry if that seemed like a pun."

Catching Obasanjo's eye from across the room, he slowly moved to stand.

Turner chuckled at the comment about his name and the pun before he left the cafeteria.

Ben had walked over to his belongings while they were out, sitting on the floor behind the beds and looking at the painting of Hullahaz, McDonagh, Kingston, and Roger that he'd done months before. After Hullahaz left the cell, he'd taken it down from above the sink and stuffed it away when the others were out, and now he merely sat against the wall, holding his head. The paper rested against his legs (which were tucked up closer to his face) and he slowly traced Hullahaz's cheek with his fingertip, longingly staring at the image and wishing it were real.

Re-entering the cell, Turner didn't see him hiding, and he stopped dead in his tracks, grabbing the leg of his bunk.

"Shit, where is he?" The sudden voice startled Ben, and he jumped.

"I-I'm down here... sorry."

Turned breathed a sigh of relief and walked over, squatting down in front of him. "Shit man, you worried me!" He had half a mind to scold him for hiding, but knew it wouldn't help him. "I didn't bring you back anything, forgot, sorry. Hopefully Kingston remembers... but I get the feeling that could be a long shot." Pausing, he spotted the paper.

"Who's that?" Ben merely pulled the paper back into his chest before pushing it back into his things.

"Someone I used to be close to."

That seemed to be the end of the conversation, as he stood up and walked back over to Kingston's bed, lying down and facing the wall. Turner merely shrugged and climbed up onto his bunk to relax.

"Obasan-jo, right? Did I say that right?" Kingston already felt like he had one foot in his mouth as he approached the table near the window.

"You said it fine," the man replied patiently, hands folded on the table. What did this dreaded man want? Astrid had said to have faith in him, hadn't she? So faith he would have.

"Oh, good. The last thing I wanna do is fuck up your name, like, that would be a huge sign of disrespect- and about that, I..." Kingston felt panic surge through him, especially with guards looking at him from across the room. Scanning their eyes over him... "I'm sorry," he breathed out.

Obasanjo tilted his head. "Sorry for what?" It was a genuine question.

"For being such a _shithead_ at the infirmary. I acted like a tool, and I **know** you were nice to Ben, I just felt so... So... Small. Compared to you. Like, you have this presence that I can only compare to my old cellmate before we were friends..." Kingston fidgeted.

"Oh, Hullahaz? Do I really have an energy like that?" Obasanjo seemed _concerned_.

"No, no! You don't, and that's the thing! I just created this mental image of you based on rumors and... I'm sorry. I should have known better than that."

Smiling, Obasanjo reached out to pat Kingston's hand. "I understand. This place warps one's perception of people."

Kingston returned to the cell with a lighter heart and a sandwich in his hands. It was all he could afford to bring.

Ben turned around when he heard Kingston re-enter, and reaching for the sandwich, gave him an appreciative smile.

"Thanks Kingston." He sat up and started to eat, glancing up at Turner, who was facing up in his bed with his arms behind his head, eyes closed.

Kingston nodded and placed a hand on Ben's head, giving him a gentle ruffle. "Yeah, no prob. I'm feeling better 'bout stuff."

Looking up at Turner, he smiled softly. "And I got him to thank, really."

Turner's eyes shot open and he turned to look down at Kingston, making eye contact. His expression softened and he chuckled before closing his eyes and relaxing back again.

"Well, I'm glad to help." Secretly, he was just happy that he was _wanted_. Especially considering how they'd first reacted to him joining Orozco's cult. It seemed he might have somewhat of a family in this cell too.

Kingston smiled gently up at him. He knew it wouldn't last, though. If the interrogations didn't start tomorrow, they would surely start the day after. People weren't just going to let this go.

The next day, bright and early, McDonagh was released from solitary.

He felt like he hadn't seen the sun in ages, and that was because without his cellmates, he'd felt like he was stuck in a dark, damp corner.

He felt nothing but relief when he walked into the cell and saw that they were all still there...

Clearing his throat, he leaned against the doorframe.

Ben had been resting beside Kingston in bed, facing away. After his horrible day the day before, he had repeated the guard's words in his head over and over, about how McDonagh was never getting out of the SHU, and even though he figured he might be getting out today, he didn't bank on it. However, hearing a noise coming from the doorway, he opened his eyes and looked up, seeing a familiar face he'd so badly missed.

Leaping out of bed, Ben shot forward and wrapped his arms around the redhead, shutting his eyes and squeezing him tightly. Even a few tears trickled down his cheek as the sheer joy of having McDonagh back hit him.

"Oh my god!! I thought you weren't getting out! I thought I'd never see you again!!"

He grinned and squeezed Ben to him, spinning him around a few times before letting him down on the floor again, arms still around him tightly. "What, and risk missing out on you rooting for me during fights? No way were they gonna hold me down there."

Kingston rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he sat up, the commotion rising him from his sleep. Blinking a few times, his vision adjusted somewhat. "Cil...?"

"That's right, I'm back, baby." Looking around, he laughed to himself. "Never thought I'd say it, but I missed this shithole."

Kingston stood up and stumbled over to the redhead, draping himself across his shoulder with a soft wheeze. "Never make me do that again, you fucking asshole. Never."

Ben stuck to McDonagh's side like glue, even when Kingston came over. It felt so nice to have their cellmate back, for Ben to have a _lover_ back, though he couldn't help but wish for something similar to happen with Hullahaz.

But he knew that would, nor could, ever happen.

"I-I missed you so much..." Trying to sniffle back tears (and failing), Ben rubbed his head slowly against his cellmate.

Turner grumbled, woken up by the noise, and turned to look down over the edge of his bunk. "Oh shit... you're back." Yawning, he stretched himself out a bit. "Well, welcome home again."

McDonagh apologized profusely to Kingston, rubbing his back with a little chuckle as he tightened his grip on Ben, leaning down to kiss the top of his head.

"I missed you too, I really did. I'm sorry I ran off like that, I just couldn't handle the thought of you getting hurt. Especially not by that prick."

Kingston's blood ran cold, but he stayed still and silent against McDonagh, who looked up at Turner with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah, I'm back and ready to kick everyone into shape!" Snorting, he shook his head. "No, but thanks, really. Good to see nobody died while I was away... So! Who's gonna fill me in?"

Ben tensed up briefly before moving back, tugging McDonagh into the cell and encouraging him to sit down on Kingston's bed. Turner sighed and climbed down from his bed, leaning back against the bunk while he watched them get settled.

"A lot happened."

Ben briefly glared up at him, but he was right. It just seemed rude to drop things on him like that, as if he didn't know what kind of person McDonagh was when riled up (why else had he been absent for the past while?). Turner seemed unperturbed and added, "Started with that one starving himself."

 **Now** Ben was glaring. "I didn't mean to, you know! I just couldn't get myself to eat. I'm... I'm doing better now though!" He HAD gained some weight back, but it was clear that he was still skinnier than he was before McDonagh left.

At the very least, Turner seemed to be avoiding the cult thing for now.

With a chuckle, Turner said, "I promise, we're all getting along better than this."

"Aw, Ben..." McDonagh began, but Kingston was quick to interject.

"But I fed him! I made sure. I took care of him, I promise..." His eyes dropped, as if reliving the week and a half without him was torture (it was.) McDonagh lifted his chin with a chuckle.

"I believe you, relax. I believe you both." Looking at Ben, he rubbed his back gently. "I know how hard it can be for you to eat."

His eyes traveled to Turner, and he couldn't help but snort again. "Yeah, I should hope so! I didn't wanna get back to find a murder scene, you know."

Kingston laughed nervously and rubbed his own arm. "Well, you almost did... Cause, I mean, Turner went and made a **big** decision involving a tiny someone."

McDonagh gasped, but he didn't look _angry_ , shockingly enough. "No- you didn't!"

Turner shrugged. "Eeyup. I was drawn to the family-side of it, and I guess it's really impressive when you're not Hispanic and can speak Spanish, so >here I am.<" He didn't really care if they could understand him or not.

"It's actually not so bad. They haven't asked me to do anything, really, aside from the casing of the boiler room I had to do to get in." Putting his hands back behind his head again, he smiled.

Ben was shaking just a little bit, knowing that eventually they'd have to tell McDonagh about the guard...

"Oh yeah, I bet the little man really loved your foreign language skills," McDonagh teased, still remembering the night they had in the showers. The guy was on _fire_... But he'd never say that in here. "Yeah, no, they don't seem like that kind of cult... But the boiler room...?"

Why would Orozco want plans of the boiler room? That seemed odd to McDonagh. Maybe it was just a loyalty test, sure, but the man seemed too calculating for that, somehow.

"Well, at least you found your place!"

Kingston had also begun to tremble lightly, especially as guards walked past the cell.

"Man... What's up? Are you guys cold?"

Even Turner couldn't break this one to McDonagh, and losing his smile, he cast his eyes down.

Ben chose to bite the bullet, and wrapping his arms around McDonagh more tightly, he sighed. "Please just hear the whole thing out..." He took another deep breath before continuing.

"Y-you know that guard... the one you, um..." Motioning with his hands near his neck, Ben realized he was gesturing to his _own_ fresh strangulation marks and quickly moved on.

"I went out yesterday, grabbed some food and walked outside to eat, only briefly to get out of the cell and be alone I guess, and... and when I was out on the field, _he_ found me. H-he grabbed me... t-told me you weren't coming back from solitary..." Fresh tears erupted from his eyes as he mentally relived the prior day's events.

"A-and then..." He couldn't speak the next bit and looked over at Kingston, desperately hoping he would continue before McDonagh could get too worked up.

McDonagh's face fell as Ben began to speak, feeling his fists clench in unison with his gut as he heard what they had to tell him, doing all he could to stay where he was in risk of upsetting any of them.

"That son of a bitch, what did he..."

No, in truth McDonagh didn't want to know. He didn't _have_ to know, because Ben kept on talking. Whatever it had been, it had been **bad** , bad enough to shake his whole cell. He was seeing red again, and he had the feeling he'd be back in solitary before lunch.

Words were forced from his lips before he could stop them.

"And then what?"

Not getting an immediate answer, he repeated the question more firmly, eyes begging Ben to continue.

_"And then what?"_

"Then I clawed his fucking eyes out." Kingston's voice nearly cut through McDonagh's like a knife. His own eyes were cold, a stony rage permeating his entire posture. "And now they're lookin' for the perp."

McDonagh jerked back in sheer shock.

"You... What? Kingston..."

"Somebody had to do it," Kingston replied sternly.

Ben looked up at Kingston, thanking him silently for doing what he couldn't, both in telling McDonagh AND saving him that day.

"I-I thought.... I though I was gonna be the next Laney 'cuz of what he was saying... But.... Kingston saved me. I might not have been here if not for him..."

Turner moved forward and squatted down in front of Ben, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder supportively.

"It's okay Ben, you're here now. And McDonagh's back." His voice was quiet so he could comfort him while McDonagh addressed the _shocking_ news from Kingston.

They began to argue quietly. 'What if they catch you?' followed by 'They won't' led to Kingston whispering (angrily) about the plan Turner had helped him with, which only made McDonagh freak out more and start pacing around the room. Kingston reached out to him and held him steady, which seemed to help.

"I can't lose you, Stuart. I just got back."

Kingston's chest fluttered in an odd way as he heard McDonagh say his name, his _real_ name, for the first time. "You're not gonna lose me, I promise. It's gonna be fine."

They hugged, and soon enough they were on Kingston's bed, just silently enjoying one another.

"Hey," the redhead addressed Ben, "it's okay."

Ben didn't really acknowledge their bickering, but felt greatly relieved when it was resolved. Hearing McDonagh speak to him, he looked up and gave a small smile before leaning in for a quick kiss.

"Now that you're back it is." Having the redhead back with them made him feel much better about their chances of weathering this storm.

It was short lived, however. Kingston knew this was coming, and it didn't make the situation any easier. Grabbing McDonagh's hand, he began to tremble as he heard guards opening cell doors and pulling people out, one by one.

"Breathe," McDonagh murmured, "you can do this."

"I should've just said it was in self defense, I shouldn't have used the drugs, I..."

McDonagh rubbed his back until he was soothed, and then their cell door opened.

"Four of you, get up. We're going to block A."

Ben shivered and stood up, sticking close between McDonagh and Turner as they walked down the hallway.

His mind was racing as he thought about what they would ask him, nor did he know what he should even say. He'd have to mention the fact the man seemed a bit doped up, but to what degree? The poor boy was downright _terrified_.

Not to say that Turner wasn't _also_ scared too! He hoped he had disposed of any traces of the drugs, and he'd also made sure that none of the powder had gotten into his pocket (when he had the rag). From a physical examination, he would be deemed clean, but still, he had valid reason to be worried.

Down in block A, they were taken to a waiting room in front of a tiny interrogation chamber, and were instructed to stand there until they were called in.

"You," the escorting officer said to McDonagh, "you're in first."

Looking back at his cellmates, the redhead shrugged, knowing this would take two minutes _tops_.

And so it did. Although McDonagh would have been a clear suspect behind the assault, he'd been in solitary confinement when it had happened, so, logically, it hadn't been him.

The next person to be called in was Turner.

Turner nodded at McDonagh as he passed him, keeping his eyes down as he entered the room. Sitting at the table, he placed his hands on the table, pressing them together, but not otherwise fiddling with them. His ability to maintain eye contact with the man who would interrogate them was equally impressive.

"I won't go into detail, we all know what happened," the officer sitting at the opposite end of the table seemed tired. He'd been repeating these questions all day, and he was nowhere near an answer.

"So I'll just ask what you were doing on the day this _shitshow_ happened, for starters."

Honestly, all he wanted to do was go home. He still had to interrogate the creepy little man in charge of the other blocks' cooking...

Turner leaned forward.

"I was in my cell reading, and that's about it. Not special, not related, just reading."

Lying by omission... perhaps not the best move, but he would fill in the gaps if needed.

" _Everything_ you did, if you don't mind." Grumbling, he shuffled his paperwork. "No, scratch that. What were you doing at around 2 PM? You know... **when** this shitshow happened."

God, he was tired. He'd always been good at detecting liars, but after seeing so many people in one day, he began to care less about results and more about finding someone to pin the blame on.

"Did you see Carson at all?"

Scoffing, Turner pulled his head up a bit. "Fuck, man, I wasn't anywhere near it when it happened! I hadn't seen him since morning, honestly!" This was without a doubt the truth, he just hoped the man would believe him and let him out.

Sighing deeply, the officer rubbed his temples.

"And I'm assuming you don't know anyone who _did_ see him? Before or after the incident?"

 **Someone** had to have seen the guy lying in a puddle of his own blood. Sure, he'd been found in a blind spot and he said he didn't see who did this to him, which was terribly suspicious, but someone had to have walked upon him, or he'd still be there now.

Turner's gut clenched. If he was found to be dishonest, he didn't know what would happen to him, but he didn't want to implicate any of the others. Still, he shook his head. "Sorry."

The officer narrowed his eyes, noting the lack of a voiced 'no', and finding the apology to be rather curious. Still, he didn't think a nineteen year old who had just gotten out of max with good behavior (according to the file) would be willing to fuck up again so soon.

"And do you know anyone who would want to harm Carson?"

That was just a last ditch effort question. Everyone wanted to harm Carson.

"Not any more than what everyone here already says." Turned desperately hoped that this would be the final question he had to answer. Amazing how in his first two weeks of being out of max he was already involved in some prison fiasco.

The officer couldn't hold back a defeated chuckle as he closed Turner's little folder. Without speaking, he jerked his head in Turner's direction, telling him to go.

This wasn't the guy. Sure, he could have been complicit in luring him to the place or something of the sort, but he hadn't dealt the blow.

"Call the blonde one in," he shouted to the officer outside, who turned to look at Kingston.

The _blonde_ froze up, but he began to make his way in.

-

..."I didn't see or hear anything, I went looking for my friend..."

"And what happened once you found him?"

"I took him back to the cell, he was feeling sort of woozy. He hadn't been eating- you know our friend was in solitary? It really got to him..."

"But for that period of time, you didn't know where your friend was?"

"No, but that's probably because he took a detour after going to the store. Probably went to the library... He's such a gentle guy, he probably wanted to read up on self-care or something."

"But he has a history of violence, doesn't he? The whole shank incident."

"They were going to sell him for heroin! I hardly think self-defense counts as a history of violence."

"What if it was self-defense this time too?"

"Would you blame him?"

"I'm the one doing the questioning!"

"I don't know... I couldn't tell you. All I know is it wasn't him. He would have hardly had the strength after being starved for a week."...

Kingston walked out with his head down and his eyes closed. He had been let off due to 'having an alibi'- saying Turner could confirm he'd only left the cell for as long as it took to find Ben.

Who, of course, was last.

Ben was shaking hard as he was led into the room, knowing that if they had talked to Kingston and not cuffed him that they probably didn't find out it was him who did it.

The whole situation was _agonizing_ , and he only hoped they'd blame his shakiness on things _other_ than guilt, although it was doubtful.

Shrinking down into the seat, he looked up at the man with fear in his eyes, which he tried to suppress but didn't have much luck with.

"You seem shaky. Need some water?"

The officer tried not to be biased in his approach, but this guy was _tiny_ due to being so thin, and his file said he was only 20 years old and in for prostitution. Hardly something he could hold contempt towards.

"It's okay, I'm not gonna bite you. We all know Carson's a shitbag."

It was a new approach, sure, but one that might yield some results.

Ben sighed and nodded appreciatively at the offer of water. He did his best to hide the marks from the day before or pass them off as unrelated, scratching at his head nervously.

Still, he remained quiet, feeling only marginally more at ease.

Bringing a little plastic cup over to Ben, he left it beside him before returning to his spot, hands folded over his file.

"Your friend already told me you were out of the cell when this happened. That doesn't really tell me much, though, since plenty of other people were, too... But I need to hear it from you."

Sighing deeply as he prepared for the same song and dance, he leaned forward.

"What were you doing at the time of the incident?"

Ben had absolutely no idea how to respond. He wanted to confess to having seen him, to having been assaulted by him. But considering the wounds the guard sustained, he didn't have an explanation for how he got out of that situation, not without implicating Kingston.

Picking up the water, he wet his throat before responding.

"I... I saw him... earlier that day. He seemed kinda... out of it. But I didn't see him after that." Ben absentmindedly spun the cup around slowly, staring at it.

That there opened up some doors, the officer thought. So Ben _had_ seen Carson- seen him acting weirdly at that. He'd not really answered the question, though, and had answered with something that could have been rehearsed, but what he'd said had piqued the officer's curiosity.

"Out of it how?"

The rest could wait. Maybe he'd finally get somewhere in this bullshit investigation...

Ben nearly clenched the cup of water in his hand. "Like, _high_ or something. I dunno. Loopy. Maybe he's on some pain meds, I wouldn't know. That's just what I saw."

His eyes still remained down.

Eyes down. Bad sign. This, coupled with the marks on his back, were really making him think.

"Pain meds, huh."

Taking a sharp inhale, he leaned in for what seemed like the fiftieth time today.

"Did he do something to you?"

Ben really did jump this time, spilling what was left of the water on the table. His hands began shaking again, and he tried to steady his breathing to no avail.

There was no hiding his reaction, and he _knew_ the man would know that something had happened.

Pulling one of his hands back to his face, he bit his finger a bit as he tried to hold back tears.

"What happened? Did he assault you? Was he under the influence of something?"

The officer felt like he was really close to a breakthrough here, but he didn't want to spring all this on Ben at once. Still, his approach remained to ask about what had happened to Ben, as opposed to what he had done.

"I know it's a lot to ask, but I gotta know..."

"H-he grabbed me... when I walked outside for a bit.... P-pulled me into a blind spot and..." A low sob rose up in his throat. "He was whispering _terrifying_ things t-to me!! I tried to push him away, and he s-strangled me, and he started acting all crazy, like he was on drugs, a-and when I did manage to break away, he was trying to grab me but couldn't... I was too fast!! S-so he started clawing up his face and-" This was all he could say before he broke down completely, burying his face into his hands.

He _what_? Carson was a motherfucker, and he wasn't above putting others in danger for kicks, but was he really stupid enough to get fucked up on the job?

Why would Ben lie, though? He'd just given him far more to work with than sixty seven interviews had provided all day. And it wasn't like the boy seemed to have it in him to fake his tears- he seemed genuinely distressed.

They could be onto something.

"Hey... it's alright, yeah? It's gonna be alright. You've done a lot for me. I'm gonna run your story by some other folks before consulting with him. One last thing- was anyone around?"

He doubted it, but he may as well ask.

Ben shook his head, wiping away the tears. "N-no, it was just us... I ran to the bathroom to calm down before heading back out... that's when Kingston found me..."

Realizing he hadn't really said enough about the guard's scummyness, he added, "He f-felt me up, when he pinned me to the wall... got into my uniform.... I-I thought he was gonna _rape_ me..."

Anything to make sure the man went down for _something_. Not that Ben was lying.

The officer shook his head in disgust. It happened, sure, and he knew about it, but hearing it for himself made the situation all the more real- all the harder to ignore.

Frowning, he nodded slowly. "Yes, he mentioned you were... woozy." That made sense now, regrettably.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded again. "I'm sorry this happened. I will run this by the guys like I said, and after that I'll head down to the infirmary. You're free to go."

Ben nodded appreciatively and stood up slowly, holding himself as he took deep breaths. Once he got outside the room, he ran over to McDonagh and buried his face in his chest, staying still as he calmed down from the interview.

McDonagh held him close, rubbing his back even as the officer outside told them to reel it in. He narrowed his eyes and requested to be taken back to the cell.

Kingston was shaking, and he was desperate to know what Ben had said...

The officer spoke to his colleagues, and the general consensus was that they wouldn't put it past Carson to be an arrogant prick to the degree of getting high on the job and molesting an inmate, but that they had to speak to him before reaching any conclusion.

Ben stuck close to them as they walked back to the cell, and Turner hung back to keep an eye on everyone. It seemed as though things would be okay for their cell, although he wasn't sure of how much Ben had (likely) confessed.

Back in the safety of the cell, Kingston took him by the shoulders.

"Are you okay? What happened? What did he ask you?"

Ben slumped forward, hugging his arms. "I-I told him about the assault, what he did to me. B-but I said I got away on my own and that he clawed up his own face." Glancing up into Kingston's eyes, he added, "And I mentioned the drugs."

Turner leaned against his bunk, giving Ben some space to be with the two cellmates he was closer to.

Kingston's shoulders relaxed, and he leaned in to hug Ben tightly. "Thank you, _fuck_... Now we might actually have a chance..." He looked and felt like he was about to pass out. 

McDonagh put a hand on both their shoulders, rubbing profusely. "Now we can only hope for the best. C'mon. Let's stop thinking about it."

Ben leaned against McDonagh, enticing him to lay down on Kingston's bed, while also pulling him to lie with them. He sorely needed the cuddle pile...

Turner, meanwhile, went up to his own bunk.

-

Down at the infirmary, Carson was being stared down- but of course he couldn't see it.

At around five o'clock, the bag was found in his locker.

He said he'd been framed, that he hadn't taken drugs a day in his life, but upon being tested they found traces of it in his system, and it was deduced that he'd done it to himself.

Arguing only made him confirm that he had, in fact, been with Ben, which put him at odds with staff.


	15. Tension and Resolve

Turner had grabbed his towel and a spare change of clothes and headed down to the showers. He knew more of the cultists were down there around this time, so he figured it would be smarter to shower with them around.

Whistling to himself, he was absentmindedly walking into the bathroom, lost in his thoughts.

And although that was true, the cultists seemed to be engaged in... pleasantries. Two of them, anyway, with Orozco in the middle.

They were holding him up, sandwiched between them, and they were _both_ penetrating him, causing him to grip and moan into the man in front.

A few other cultists smiled at Turner as if they were witnessing some big secret.

The moment he faced the scene, he froze, eyes wide as he watched his cult leader being double penetrated, almost dropping his things on the floor.

Quickly turning to the side to hide his blush, Turner started to undress, keeping his head forward. Never did he think that he'd see _that_ when he walked in. By the time he got naked, he turned on the water and only once glanced back at them.

Through his moans and the steam of the room, Orozco managed to see Turner walk in, and as his follower looked over his shoulder, they met eyes. With a soft moan, he called out Turner's name with a shaky 'hello'.

"Don't focus on him, focus on us!" Said the one hitting it from behind in a near whine.

Orozco immediately did as he was asked, chuckling as best he could.

Turner's face got redder and he had to keep facing the wall to supress the erection he was getting. He _really_ didn't want to have one in a public shower, let alone a _prison_ shower, and not unless he was going to use it.

Sighing deeply, he grabbed his soap and began to scrub himself.

Fortunately for him, the ordeal was over rather quickly, but the men continued to hold and kiss Orozco, who seemed delighted (and exhausted). He did eventually send them away- although the taller one refused, the other went off as he was told (he was promised more time in the kitchen.)

"You really are amazing."

"Yeah, yeah..." Orozco's voice sounded tired, yet friendly. Looking back over at Turner, he smiled gently. "Hey..."

Turner was rinsing out his hair when he heard the man call his name again, albeit less breathlessly. He still needed to condition his hair, so he opted not to grab his towel and cover up. Orozco would probably see him naked many more times anyhow, so it wasn't like he needed to be modest.

Walking over, he tilted his head and looked down at him. "Yeah?"

He was laying against the man (his name was Malakai), with one arm around his neck, yet he still smiled up at Turner as if they hadn't just been having wild sex. He put a hand out, expecting the taller man to take it.

He scanned him, but didn't make any comment about his appearance.

"I'm sorry if seeing that was... Uncomfortable."

Malakai snorted with a smile.

Turner slowly reached his hand down to Orozco's and took it, keeping his eyes trained on the man's eyes and not... anything else.

"It was just unexepected. I haven't really seen anyone... do that before..." His glance trailed away for a moment.

He laughed softly, nodding as he brought Turner's hand to his lips, giving it a little kiss.

">I'm a man of many talents, aren't I?<" He was teasing, but perhaps it would be best to make light of the situation.

He was having his stomach stroked, which was soothing him to a state of near-bliss.

Turner exhaled a bit harder as his skin was once again touched by Orozco's mouth, and he chuckled softly.

">That's what I'm coming to learn.<" The man surely was a wonder.

_How I wish I could have you beside me_ , he thought to say, but he decided against it. Malakai might fuss...

"How's the accounting going? I'm sorry it's such a boring job..."

Shaking out the chills he got from the kiss a bit, he smiled down at his leader and shrugged. "It's methodical, I get to work my brain out, and even if it IS monotonous, I quite like it. It's not a bother to me." His voice softened as he finished speaking.

Malakai was smiling almost as widely as Orozco, who's eyes seemed to be sparkling with joy. "You took one for the team, you know. It's been great."

"Yes," Orozco affirmed, clasping his hands together, "I'm so glad you're taking enjoyment from it as opposed to finding it dreadful... I just hope that holds up and you don't become tired of it!"

Turner shrugged again. "It's the only thing I get to do around here that isn't some physical task. I'm gonna enjoy the fuck out of it while I can."

Remembering how he needed to finish his shower, he almost moved to pull his hand away, but found himself looking back down into Orozco's eyes and not wanting to leave him. It took closing his own eyes and glancing down to the floor to break the tug.

"I... should probably go finish my shower."

Orozco chuckled, getting comfortable in his position as he slowly let go of Turner's hand. "Yeah, it's not grunt work... Though I like to think every position benefits us in some way, and the rewards are pretty good, aren't they?"

He looked up at Malakai as he said this, and the man chuckled before leaning down to kiss him. He knew by now Orozco's favorite thing was to be kissed.

"Of course, don't let me keep you. Enjoy," he smiled softly, eyes locked with Turner's up until he moved away- at which point he saw Hullahaz approaching, which made him smile wider.

As Turner moved away, he looked up and saw a heavily, _heavily_ tattooed and pierced man walking towards him... or perhaps towards Orozco. Stepping to the side, he kept eyeing the man, still astonished by his tattoos… and finding something familiar about him.

Hullahaz stopped for a bit to talk to Orozco (of _course_ , who else, right?) and give him a little bit of a cuddle, before he headed over to the showers.

Looking up at Turner, he frowned softly. "Haven't met, have we?" 

The question wasn't antagonistic, but definitely surprised. Turner had only been down there a little, and he was already involved with the cult?

Turner looked over at him before shaking his head. "No, we haven't. I've been here only a few weeks... haven't really seen you around before. Maybe in the cafeteria, but not otherwise." He paused and turned off the water.

"But you seem pretty familiar with Orozco."

It felt _weird_ for someone to not know exactly who he was. It amused him. With an arched brow, he looked back at the cult leader, still leaning happily against the other man as if there weren't things to be done.

"Yeah, you could say that."

Orozco looked over and smiled brightly again.

"We share a cell."

Turner chuckled. "Well, that makes sense." As he toweled off, he continued.

"I like my cellmates alright. Decent bunch of people." It wasn't until his clothes were back on that he put his towel around his neck and headed for the exit.

"See ya around, Orozco."

"Bet they are," the man replied softly, and although his tone and posture were relaxed, there was something in his eyes that seemed awfully tense.

He watched Turner leave with a small smile before joining Orozco on the bathroom floor. "Not hygienic, you know."

"Shh... Bye, Turner. Be safe."

Turner waved them off before heading back up to his cell. Upon arriving, he draped his towel over the chair back and sat down in the other, leaning back. Ben was doodling on Kingston's bed absentmindedly, only giving a small hand wave to acknowledge the man when he walked in.

Kingston was watching him draw, and McDonagh was doing some cleaning up, wanting to feel useful after so much time away.

The blonde looked up to acknowledge Turner with a smile. "Everything okay?"

"Guy just took a shower," the redhead laughed, "nothing too exciting can have happened."

Turner laughed.

"I know y'all don't care for him much, but I just wanna say Orozco sure knows how to take dick. That was.... Something to see."

Ben stopped drawing and scowled a bit. "Yeah, I'm sure it was."

"I know, I know, I get it, I wasn't gonna say anything else besides that." Turner had put up his hands defensively, a small grin in the corner of his lips.

"Oh, I know all about how much dick he can take," McDonagh teased, gently placing their two mugs back on the window ledge.

Kingston couldn't help but roll his eyes with a smile, folding his arms. "I bet it won't be long before you get involved in that whole mess too, Turner."

McDonagh laughed. "Unless you already have! The look on your face tells me you're already in deep."

Kingston chuckled and leaned his head against the bed. "This place is such a madhouse... What does anyone see in that creepy little guy?"

They knew better than to talk about it, but treating Orozco as some sort of taboo seemed somewhat absurd, especially when that role had been filled by Hullahaz.

Turner bantered with them back and forth with McDonagh and Kingston, much to Ben's annoyance. More than anything, he simply disliked hearing the man talked about in any kind of favorable light that wasn't his cooking. They could talk about him, but not like that when he was around.

Standing up, he placed his drawing to the side.

"I'm gonna run to the office really quickly. No outside detours, no _inside_ detours, I'll be fine, trust me."

If anything, Ben had a plan to take their minds off of things, to try and play things off as all normal.

"Don't follow me, please. I want this to be a surprise."

"No, no, I don't want you leaving the cell!" Kingston replied in a panic, darting up and grabbing Ben by the arm. McDonagh, however, was much more relaxed about it.

"Easy, Jesse. The problem's gone, let the man breathe."

Kingston pouted before slowly letting go of Ben's arm, returning to his spot on the bed.

"If anything happens, I'm gonna be _pissed_."

Ben didn't mind Kingston trying to stop him, knowing how protective the man had become of him. Still, he silently thanked McDonagh for pulling him back.

After making a short stop at the store for some candy, he walked over to the office lady's desk and casually asked her to borrow the TV and DVD player. Spotting an old favorite of his, _Men In Black_ , he nabbed the case and moved back over to her, putting on his biggest puppy dog smile in he hopes she'd let him take it.

The office lady looked up at Ben, pushed her glasses up, sighed, and gestured for him to take it. She didn't have the energy to argue- things had been feeling _ominous_ in the prison with all of Orozco's men prowling about.

Her thoughts were mostly occupied by Roger nowadays, so it was a bit hard for her to look Ben in the eye, since she felt very bad about the whole ordeal.

"Just return it tomorrow."

"Thank you, really." Placing the movie (plus a few others he randomly grabbed) onto the cart, he wheeled it back to their cell and pushed it through the door.

"Tada, my surprise. We're havin' movie night." Tossing the candy he bought to his cellmates (he still had some in his locker), he began to set up the TV so they would only have to turn it on a put the DVD in to play.

"Whenever we wanna watch, we can. But first we're watching _Men In Black_."

Kingston's eyes lit up at the sight of the TV, though at the same time his heart hurt for the last time they'd enjoyed a movie in the cell. _He'd_ still been there... Still, this would be a good chance to bond again.

McDonagh whistled as he walked over to Ben, wrapping an arm around him to kiss him on the forehead. "You're full of good ideas, eh? This is just what I needed- to unwind."

"You've just been cleaning all day!" Kingston protested.

"Yeah? You wanna feel how stiff it made my shoulders??"

Happy that the idea had been well-received, Ben smiled and reached his hands up to feel McDonagh's shoulders, massaging them as best he could.

"Damn, they _are_ stiff. Kingston, how could you be so heartless when he just cleaned our cell?" His tone was clearly lighthearted as he chastised the blond.

Meanwhile, Turner had been intrigued by the sight of a TV on wheels, but was pleased that they'd be able to enjoy some kind of entertainment to remind them of being on the outside. Free candy was always nice too.

"Thanks Ben."

McDonagh sighed gently in relief before giving Ben a few kisses as he was massaged. Nothing like feeling loved and appreciated after a day of hard work... Honestly, he was glad he didn't feel the impulse to fight 24/7 anymore.

Kingston crossed his arms and huffed, standing up. "Oh, but when I clean the cell, it's just me being neurotic, huh? Hmmmmmph!" He was obviously playing along, as demonstrated by the way he whipped his dreads around.

Both men smiled at Turner as they set the room up, though. Despite his questionable affiliation, he seemed to be a notable member of the family.

Ben giggled at the scene but noticed them looking over at Turner.

As much as he resented the man for finding family in someone who had blown a hole in his family, he knew that Turner cared about his cell and had done so much to help Ben, even involving Orozco to do so.

"You're not Hullahaz, but you're a good guy, and I'm glad you're here."

Although Turner smiled back, he realized that the familiar face on the drawing Ben was looking at the other day, the one he'd only caught glimpses of, the one he'd seen in the shower with _Orozco_... belonged to eponymous Hullahaz.

"Oh _shit_..." His face paled and he balled his fist on the table.

Ben's smile faded. "Wait, what's wrong?" The inmate shook his head.

"That guy...you just mentioned. Hullahaz? He lives with Orozco... But he used to be in here!?" The dawning realization of just _why_ his cellmates had been so upset when they found out about him joining the cult ("or tear them apart") hit him like a ton of bricks, and he moved his head down into his hands.

" _Fuck_... FUCK! I'm so sorry guys!" The bed below his that was barren and empty, the one they refused to let him use....

"I didn't put it together until now, and just... Fuck!" Turner couldn't even really respond, he just felt so _bad_ about how insensitive he'd probably been coming across as.

Kingston looked at Turner in shock at his realization, somehow having believed the man to have known about Hullahaz already. He instinctively reached out to comfort him, whereas McDonagh flinched at the very mention of his name.

Turner would never be Hullahaz, because he lacked the chilling essence. He was warm. Hullahaz became warm after a long struggle...

The redhead shivered for a moment, forcing himself not to think about how he had been the one to remove said warmth.

"Turner, listen... None of that falls on you," Kingston remarked, putting a hand on his back. "It was painful for us to deal with..." He looked around the room to confirm this before continuing. "But it isn't your fault we feel bad about it. Just like it isn't your fault you didn't know."

"Yeah, we could've said," McDonagh mumbled. "It's just hard to come to terms with."

Turner looked up when he was touched, eyes red, overwhelmed with emotion. He saw Kingston comforting him and McDonagh further off, a bit more distant, but back on Kingston's bed, he saw Ben sitting there, expressionless.

So there _had_ been love between Ben and Hullahaz.

"I-I'm sorry Ben, for bring it all up again... look, let's just forget about it, about me havin' this outburst. Let's just look forward to the movie a-and forget about everything again."

He just couldn't stop apologizing for it.

Ben closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, focusing on making Turner feel better and not how much he missed Hullahaz.

"I know you didn't mean to, but don't worry. Now you know about everything, let's just leave it in the past."

His words gave off an air of wisdom (for Ben anyway), though deep down, Ben just wanted to curl up and cry. But he had done enough of that, and Turner already felt bad enough about the situation, so it wouldn't help anything.

Kingston rubbed Turner's back more insistently, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he shook his head.

"You don't have to worry about it, man, really. We all miss the guy, but dwelling on it and treating it like some big disaster is never gonna let us move on."

McDonagh was shocked at how much Kingston had seemed to grow. Had his absence really forced Kingston to take on this role? Watching him, he sat next to Ben and gave him a few backrubs of his own.

Kingston set the movie up and made it so that the television blocked out the light from outside. "Maybe one day things will be right between us again. But for now, let's just think of it as something to learn from as opposed to our biggest regret."

McDonagh couldn't find anything to say. He merely nodded.

Ben invited Turner to lie on the bed with them, staying cuddled up between Kingston and McDonagh, a pillow propping him up. He was so happy to see one of his favorite movies with two of the people he loved most, and it helped put his mind at ease.

Turner rested beside Kingston, picking through his candy and half watching the movie. Every now and then, however, he'd look over at the other cellmates of his, happy they hadn't turned him away for all the gaffs he had made, but still saddened by how much they must have gone through.

Words could not describe how thankful he was to be with them instead of in max.

McDonagh accepted the situation had passed without any damage, and it made him feel much more relaxed. Wrapping an arm around Ben, he allowed his mind to shut off from the outside world and immerse itself in the movie.

Kingston, unsurprisingly, read a little _too_ much into the movie, and quietly babbled to Turner about conspiracy theories and the government hiding aliens for something much more sinister than protection.

One would think this mood could be held forever, and that the building wouldn't be collapsing upon itself in the next week and a half.

A few days later, Ben was sitting with his cell at lunch. Even Turner had decided to be with them, though as of late, he seemed to be doing it more than sitting with the cult. Despite enjoying being part of Orozco's men and working for them, he couldn't help but appreciate the dynamic of his cell, being drawn in easily since he knew them so well, whereas in the cult, he hadn't fully gotten to know anyone really, and perhaps joined them without giving his cell a chance.

In any case, he knew he had duties to both, and had been trying to give time equally. With limited success.

: It was near the end of lunch that Rivera approached his table, looking slightly more miffed than usual, with his hands in his pockets. He'd wanted to be there for Turner, but with his son's birthday coming up, his time had been entirely consumed by that.

Costa had tried to get the guy to get to know the others better, but as the riot was just around the corner, it had been hard to find anyone to interact with.

"Hey, Turner. >Orozco wants to see you.<"

Turner looked up at the cultist and the smile on his face drooped a bit. ">Oh, okay. I'll be right there.<" He hadn't really finished eating, but having Orozco want to see him seemed more important. Standing up to go empty his tray, he asked Rivera for where to find him and went off to do so.

The man in question was pacing around the storage room, biting his thumb. He hadn't spoken to Garcia since they'd gotten Carson removed, and now this whole situation with Turner straying... Not to mention how hard it was to get rest when Hullahaz didn't sleep a wink at night...

He reacted almost scared when Turner walked in.

Turner seemed concerned when he saw Orozco pacing around and slowly walked over to him.

">You okay boss?<" Obviously he wasn't, but it was a softener.

Shaking his head gently, he looked away before slowly bringing his eyes to meet Turner's. That hazel was enchanting... But now was not the time for such things.

"You seem distant... Are you regretting joining? Is someone making you feel unwelcome?"

Turner sighed and looked away. After a moment, he shook his head.

"No, I just... I feel like I belong to two families, which I guess wouldn't be so bad if they weren't so _against_ each other."

Moving his gaze back to Orozco's eyes, he was clearly saddened by that fact.

"I like the cult. They were truly the first family I was welcomed to in here, and you've all never failed me or made me feel unwelcomed. It's just... I _live_ with my other family. We look out for each other. I don't wanna ignore them, but I just don't know how to manage it."

Biting his lip, he added, "Not that you care about them. So I know that if anything, you'd probably encourage me to spend more time with the cult. But I still wanna try to devote time equally." Running his fingers through his hair, he groaned.

His eyes hardened for a moment, a flash of something akin to contempt in them before he blinked it away, but he found himself turning around to pace around the room some more.

"You do know why we're supposedly "against each other," right?"

He didn't wait for an answer, but his tone had a bit of a sharp edge to it. It softened for his next words, but his posture was still rigid.

"I get that you want a bond with your cellmates, and it's not like I'm not encouraging that- I just want you to remember that yes, we were here first."

Still turned away from his follower, he crossed his arms.

"And I don't want you to get your loyalties **warped**."

His voice was sharp again, teetering on the edge of anger.

Turner swallowed the lump in his throat. "What do you mean 'warped?'" Perhaps a stupid question, but he was gauging Orozco's reaction to find out if he knew what the drug request before was for.

He looked over his shoulder with the most intense gaze he could muster, holding it for a moment as he debated whether to speak or stay silent.

Staying silent would affect his image, however.

"Why did you-"

Sighing and looking away, he dropped his voice to a whisper.

"Why did you not tell me who the drugs were for?"

Turner balled up his fists.

"I-I didn't-" He cut himself off, deciding to be fully honest instead of half honest. "They asked me not to."

Letting his head drop, he relaxed his hands. "It was just... it was hard to see him the way he was. Both of them. I _had_ to help him. I was afraid you'd say no..."

Looking up at Orozco, he took a step closer.

"I'm so sorry Orozco, I am. I didn't want to play you for a fool, but I figured that in the end, getting that guard fired and begging for your forgiveness was better than having him get away with sexual assault and potentially getting _Kingston_ locked in the SHU. For _saving_..." Turner knew better than to say his name. Holding his head in his hands, he closed his eyes tightly.

"I'm sorry... I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't trust me after this; I should have never lied to my family..."

Even though he still had the cell, the thought of losing _another_ family had him _shaking_.

"So he did do it," was the first thing he whispered. He had eyes everywhere, and he was no fool. When people saw Kingston carry Ben back to the cell, they began to come up with their own theories as to why.

Laughing softly, he turned back away, hugging himself as he let his head hang.

"You're right. I probably would have said no."

He didn't want to say he was glad Ben got assaulted (he wasn't), but he didn't want to give off the impression that he cared about him, either. Carson being gone was a big benefit for everyone, though- that at least was true.

"I risked myself and an actual _honest_ guard for the sake of... It just leaves a sour taste in my mouth." Going even quieter still, he hunched over. "But it's what _he_ would have wanted, isn't it?"

Looking back very subtly at Turner, he took a minute to face him fully.

"I just didn't like finding out from someone other than you."

Turner had welled up and wiped the tears away, not making any sniffling noises so Orozco wouldn't notice.

"I know.... I should have told you. I-I was just afraid you'd kick me out of the cult. It was stupid of me, and I'm sorry..." Looking up, his eyes were still red, and he was clearly distressed by how much he regretted not telling Orozco.

Walking over, he slowly took Turner's hands and brought him near, placing his head to Turner's chest. "I wouldn't kick you out."

Closing his eyes, he smiled softly. "You'd have to do something a lot bigger than that for me to do that. Your intentions were good, you spoke with me about it, and you've even apologized... If things can be resolved, then they should be."

Turner gasped softly when he felt Orozco take his hands, and once the man was pressed against him, he exhaled, breath shaky. His hands slowly moved to the other man's arms, sliding them to his back, and cautiously hugging him. He only hoped that Orozco wouldn't push away, but the hug helped reassure him, and he closed his eyes, lowering his head to rest on Orozco's.

"T-thank you..."

He felt his heartbeat quicken slightly- _possibly from the joy of resolving a conflict_ \- as he was touched by Turner. He didn't move away, rather pushing into the hug before slowly (and very subtly) pressing his lips to Turner's chest.

"We're family. I'm not going to shut you out for that. I learned long ago that it's things like those that ruin relationships." Thinking it to be a good moment to bring up the riot, he began. "And on the topic of-"

"Orozco! The hell are you? Get to cleaning the pots, dammit!" A guard called out, causing the smaller man to go silent.

Turner jumped, startled during a moment of weakness, and let his hands trail back over the other man's arms as he moved away.

"Thank you, again." His words were quiet and he let Orozco go so he could go back to his chores.

Moving for the door out, he paid no mind to the guard and avoided eye contact as the man berated him for being out of bounds.

Orozco exited the room and pointed a finger at the guard. "Don't boss _my_ men around, me oyes? Don't forget who makes the food around here."

He resolved to tell Turner later as he watched him go.

Back at the cell, McDonagh greeted Turner with a pat on the back.

"Chew you out, did he? Or did he do something else entirely?" He couldn't hold back a snicker, but he spoke softly enough to keep the conversation between the two of them.

Turner shrugged, but he looked up at McDonagh and half-smiled.

"Yeah. I apologized for lying to him, we... we hugged, and that was it." Leaning back against his bunk, he chuckled.

"You seem to think I'm gonna run to the guy with my dick out, but I just... don't feel like it? I feel closer to him than I do wanting to fuck him or something. I'm probably just the weird one."

"Oh..." McDonagh put a hand to his face in thought. Kingston was taking a nap, so his quiet voice was more out of respect for the blonde. "Yeah, that _is_ pretty weird. Don't get me wrong, they see him as a saint, but the chance of a good fuck? Man... You feeling okay?"

He couldn't help but chuckle after asking.

"I guess it's good you still want to be nice to him. I try to not let shit get to me anymore, but damn, it's hard sometimes when you feel like you're meant to kill him."

The implication of McDonagh wanting to kill Orozco made his gut twinge, and he nearly recoiled from the man, but he knew how badly Orozco had hurt the cell, and he understood his anger.

It didn't make him feel any better about his situation though.

"They're my family too. I'm not gonna just give up on them when they're willing to forgive me."

"No, I get that. I do. Took me a while to come to terms with shit, but between you and me, I don't think..." He sighed and dragged his hands down his face. "I don't think he did it to hurt us."

Groaning, he headed over to the sink.

"I think he was just taking an opportunity to make himself even more powerful in the hierarchy, or who knows, maybe he really cares about... Anyway... I don't think targeting us was really what he wanted. I'd have to ask, though. And try not to fight him."

Turner relaxed as McDonagh continued.

"He's not a bad guy. He cares a lot about his men, and I'm sure he cares about... ya know." It was simply a name that felt weird to say in that cell, even if Ben was out at the store again.

"My guess is he might have been looking after him. Could be the reason behind the cell change. I'm still sorry though... that you guys have gone through so much."

McDonagh nodded softly, washing his hands before heading over to sit beside the sleeping Kingston. He looked up at Turner, a solemn yet understanding look on his face.

"I think you're probably right. It's just not a realization... well, _we're_ ready to come to terms with yet. I think it's easier to just view him as a villain than to admit..."

He sighed, bringing his hands back up. "It's my fault, did you know? My fault for being a fucking blockhead."

Turner couldn't hold back his question.

"What do you mean your fault?" Thinking for a moment, he remembered just how close he and Ben were, and letting his head drop back, he groaned.

"Wait, so you and Ben became a thing and he stopped loving- but that doesn't make sense, how did he love both of you?" Clearly the man hadn't encountered polyamory before.

McDonagh wasn't sure he was ready to talk about this, but he was willing to try. Rubbing his temples, he tried to find his words.

"I dunno, it all happened in a really weird order, but I was in a similar situation with..." He looked down at Kingston before looking back at Turner, "And Ben, of course. There's just something so nice about him- makes me feel secure and loved, and I wanna give that back."

He shrugged. "Once you accept that love can come in all shapes and sizes it gets a little easier to understand. Point is, Ben wanted us both, but it didn't work out. There was a lack of communication, and a lot of retreating, and... I shoulda backed down. They were happy together, and all the progress we'd made with _him_ comin' out of his shell was just shattered..."

Leaning forward, he became quieter. "Hullahaz felt left behind. And I didn't notice... I was so happy to finally be treated as equal that I pretty much trampled all over him without a second thought." Shutting his eyes tightly, he took a deep breath. "Anyway. You can love more than one person- it's the same as anything else; friends, family, pets, but if there's no communication, things **will** fall apart."

It was a lot of information dropped on Turner, but he stepped forward and leaned against their bunk.

"I'm starting to really see that." After a long pause, he glanced down at McDonagh.

"Do you think Hullahaz and Ben will ever finally talk things out?"

McDonagh shook his head slowly before speaking. "I dunno. Hullahaz hasn't spoken to any of us since it happened, and Ben just seems happier leaving it in the past and moving forward- and honestly, I don't blame him."

Kingston rolled over and grumbled, so McDonagh spoke even softer.

"But I do want them to. At least before Ben leaves him behind for good."

Recalling the day he saw Ben caressing his painting of Hullahaz, Turner knew that the man hadn't truly left it behind. In fact, more than anything, he was still really hurting from it, and seeing him hide it from McDonagh, _repeating his previous mistakes that led to the end of his relationship with Hullahaz_ , was hard.

"You should encourage him to. Tell him to address it head on."

"But..."

Looking up at Turner, he put his hands out in mild defeat.

"How do I do that? He's gonna think I blame him or something, or he's gonna think I'm siding with Hullahaz and making him do all the work or something, I don't want him to feel like he can't trust me- I.. ughh..."

Turner shook his head. "I think deep down, he knows he's gotta do it. I'm sure he WANTS to. But it's just gonna be hard. You don't have to like be hard about encouraging it, but still, you should encourage it anyway."

McDonagh stayed silent for a long while, but he nodded. "I guess I should, huh. Or at the very least... At the very least I gotta make sure he isn't gonna tear himself apart over the whole thing. It's hard enough for him to even eat."

Remembering how much weight Ben had lost just being upset over _McDonagh's_ absence made Turner shiver.

"Well he's got you guys, so he's not gonna be alone."

"No, I know... I just- Hmm, I just can't help but feel it has to start with me. I was so violent before he left... I punched him in the face, and he did nothing." He closed his eyes, ashamed.

"And Ben has to forgive the fact he moved cells, first of all."

With a sigh, Turner leaned his head back.

"Yeah. I think that's gonna be the hardest part for him."

The situation really was a mess...

"If only Hullahaz could just know how much he- how much _we_ loved him, it would be so much easier... But he's as stubborn as I am, and I can't bring myself to admit I fucked up to him. I wanna stay angry, 'cause I know he hasn't forgiven me."

Laughing quietly, he rubbed his cheek again and stood up. "Sorry, this is stupid."

Turner moved a hand down to McDonagh's shoulder.

"Nah, it's alright. It's a complicated situation. I wouldn't blame you for being in a bind."

Smiling gratefully at Turner, he nodded. "I got time to think it out, though. Ben's just got half a year left... And trust me, that ain't no time at all."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I'll talk to him. Soon."

"Yeah..."

Turner's last year in max had felt like an eternity, so he couldn't speak to the passage of time, although in here, it did seem to fly by.

Looking over at Turner again, he gave him a softer pat on the back.

"You want some hooch or somethin'? I got some left over from last time I won a real big fight."

He wanted to move away from the unpleasantries they were discussing, and with one man out and the other asleep, there wasn't all that much to do aside from talk.

Turner thought for only a moment. It was already illegal to drink in prison, so how much worse for a 19-year old?

"Sure, thanks."

McDonagh opened his locker and tossed a bottle over to Turner. "We used to get more high quality stuff when _he_ was around, but now we just make do with whatever we can get our hands on."

Not really enough to get drunk on, but good for a buzz.

With a smile, Turner caught the bottle and opened it, starting to drink. The taste wasn't _bad_ , but it certainly wasn't the best. Still, he wanted a buzz at least.

"Thanks."

McDonagh smiled fondly at him and nodded, hoping to push any bad thoughts from his mind. He had a family to look after, after all!

"So, tell me about the outside world through your eyes."

…

Orozco was on a roll for resolving internal issues, and he wanted to keep rolling. With some help from his men, he was able to remember when Garcia patrolled the eastern hallways, where little storage cupboards were kept. Snagging the key to one, he waited inside it, standing on his tiptoes to look out of the grill in the door.

Garcia was walking through the hallway, lost in his thoughts. The arrest on Carson had had him on edge for days, and he had a small scowl on his face.

As soon as Orozco saw him, he prepared to open the door... But his expression made him hesitate. Had he somehow made him upset? That would be bad... He'd not want to lose that connection.

Dwelling on it wouldn't do him any good, so as soon as Garcia walked by, he swung the door open and pulled him inside- and into a kiss.

Garcia had no time to react, and although he reached for his walkie talkie, the moment he realized it was Orozco, he relaxed.

Pulling away, he whispered, "Orozco! I could have gotten you in trouble!!" He was clearly more worried about accidentally getting him in trouble than himself.

"What are you doing in here??"

"I know, I know, but I had to see you," he whined, lips inches from Garcia's as he remained on his tiptoes, holding tightly to the guard's uniform. With a little  tilt of his head, he answered Garcia's question rather matter-of-factly. "Waiting for you, of course! What else?"

Pouting, he began to move away. "I wanted to make sure you didn't think badly of me, or hated me- I wanted to know if the stress had gotten to you."

Whenever they met it felt so dangerous. He loved it.

Garcia moved his hands to Orozco's arms.

"I don't think badly of you! I just... As a guard, things have been tense around the prison lately. No one really liked Carson, but they all knew he wasn't a druggie. Now no one trusts each other worth a damn, terrified another guard is gonna get framed with that...."

He looked down and held his pout.

"I didn't know _why_ I had to do it, I just knew it was asked of me, so I had to oblige. Still, I don't think there would be any reason to frame anyone else unless you were **also** abusing inmates. If you people would just do your job, this wouldn't happen..."

"I-I know! Believe me! But we're all worried we'll wind up pissing off the wrong inmate and suddenly have heroin or something in our belongings."

Letting his head hang down, he sighed.

"You don't have to care, I just don't have anyone I can tell about these things."

At that, he couldn't help but grin mischievously, flashing his sharp teeth. "All the more reason not to treat us badly, don't you think?"

Closing his eyes, he inched away a bit more still.

"I understand, though. It's a good thing this won't be an issue much longer," he mused. "Or, at least, that things will go back to how they used to be."

"Yeah, but sometimes just doing our jobs _properly_ is enough to piss some people off..." He knew there was no use arguing though. Orozco was a prisoner, and as noble as Garcia's intentions were for defending his job, he knew his coworkers weren't so noble, and Orozco had a valid reason to dislike them.

"Wait, what do you mean how they used to be?" His gut clenched.

Orozco looked up at Garcia, running a hand through his fringe. "You know, with everyone pretending nothing happened... Mistreating inmates again, turning a blind eye to conflict... Don't worry."

He clearly had no intention to argue either, and, without meeting Garcia's eye, he began to tug on the bottom of his shirt to pull him closer.

"I know _you're_ not like that..."

Garcia kept his eyes down, a sick feeling bubbling up in his gut.

"Yeah... I know."

Working with cowards, bullies, and overall despicable people was draining, and he knew their fears were all based in self-preservation. He'd always prided himself on being a role model, avoiding temptation and being both an example for the other guards as well as the inmates (when they would get out). Of course, he was secretly involved with Orozco so it didn't mean much now.

"I-I just like to try and do the right thing. For everyone."

Letting his eyes trail up to Orozco's face, he leaned forward and rested his head on the inmate's.

"You don't think us being... Sexual... Is too hypocritical of me, do you?"

Orozco's grip on the bottom of Garcia's shirt tightened, and as he moved closer to the guard, he felt his heartbeat increase at a steady rate. Thrilling...

"I know you do. You know how to do right by everyone, and that's why I chose you..." Chuckling, he added, "Well, aside from the fact you're Hispanic, of course."

He needed a team of people who could speak a second language _fluidly_ , so they could speak at high speeds and whispers and not be intercepted.

Sighing happily as Garcia leaned against him, he shook his head.

"No, I don't. I find it rather effective, actually..." It strengthened their bond and kept Garcia coming back for more, and that's exactly what he wanted. Leaning up a bit, he began to nibble through the guard's shirt, near his neck.

Garcia's jaw hung open a bit as he felt Orozco biting him, and he gripped the man's arms more tightly. Their proximity only made him flustered, and he exhaled hard, pushing his head a bit more into Orozco's.

_"Yeah?"_

He nibbled about, eventually tugging on his shirt buttons with a little giggle. He looked up at Garcia, pushing his hands up against the man's hips. He knew he didn't have all that much time, but he wanted to make the most of it.

"Mhm... You know..." Letting his fingers come in contact with Garcia's skin, he whispered, "You should become one of my men..."

Garcia pushed his hips against Orozco with a pant, each touch of the man's fingertips making him weak. Yet the moment he heard the inmate propose he join the cult, he leaned forward and placed a hand on the wall behind Orozco, the other on his shoulder, pressing him against the wall of the storage locker with his whole body.

Ever so slowly, his hand trailed down.

"I-I feel... I feel like I already am... so what's one more step in that direction?"

The sudden shift in power made Orozco's face flush. He looked up at Garcia with wide, hopeful eyes that soon became coy, accompanied by a playful tilt of his head. He puffed his chest out and smiled, his entire body screaming 'come and get it.'

Shivering, he sighed quietly.

"You'd do that for me...?"

Garcia slid his hand down into the inmate's pants and squeezed his cock between his fingers.

"I'd do _anything_ for you..." His words were firm, even though his body shook just a bit, pants tightening.

Orozco's breath hitched, causing him to close his eyes for a second before looking down at what Garcia was doing, which caused him to moan softly.

Looking up at him, he slid his hand down the guard's front, letting it rest on his crotch.

"That's what I like to hear..."

He never knew he'd have such a profound effect on the man due to him being a guard, but it had happened many times before... why not now?

Pressing into Garcia's touch, he sighed again, silently begging for more.

Cock twitching in his pants, Garcia moved to grasp Orozco more, and he slid his whole hand over him and his balls, massaging them gently.

"You're so gorgeous... so perfect..." His eyes were closed as he focused on teasing the inmate, brow furrowed.

"S-sorry, I love more than just the physical you... I'm just... preoccupied with it..."

Orozco quivered, tilting his head back more before squeezing Garcia through his pants, slowly unzipping them as he began to spread his legs.

"I... I am?" He bit his lip and purred, thumb rubbing against Garcia's erection. "Those are some _strong_ words you're using, mi amor..."

It wasn't uncommon for him to be told he was loved, but for the guard to say it was something else entirely... He wondered if he'd be able to maintain this relationship...

Reaching up, he pulled Garcia down to give him a long kiss, pushing his hips forward to connect with the taller man's.

Garcia's brow furrowed a bit more as he pushed into the kiss, sliding his hand out of Orozco's pants just enough to move it to his ass and grip it. Pushing his whole body against the smaller man, he had him pinned, sliding his tongue into his mouth and along his sharp teeth.

Orozco whimpered quietly as he was pushed further to the wall, hands sliding across Garcia's chest as he slowly moved to wrap one leg around him, pressing them further together. He sucked on the man's tongue gently, not wanting him to get cut. His small moans, accompanied by his shivers, were enough to show he was having a good time.

With his whole body leaning on Orozco, Garcia used the hand he had been previously using to support himself to grasp the waistband of the inmate's pants, tugging them down even just a little bit.

He was hungry for more, feeling a burning desire to rock Orozco to the core, as he had done for Garcia.

Orozco whimpered louder, squirming now in Garcia's grasp as he struggled to remove his pants, but as soon as they were below his hips, his cock sprang out, the tiniest bit of precum leaking down it.

Being exposed made his face red and his chest hot, so he pushed more ferociously against Garcia's mouth, nearly nicking his lip in the process.

Once the man's pants dropped, Garcia shuddered, and grabbing the man's legs, pushed him up the wall, angling his own hips underneath him.

However, he recalled the last time they had sex, and just how Orozco had cried out from the lube-less sex, and he slumped down a bit, pulling his head away and looking down.

"I-I don't wanna hurt you again..."

Orozco had already braced himself for the pain, but when it didn't come, he opened his eyes and tilted his head slowly at Garcia, who was moving away from him.

"Oh... I guess I should start carrying lube around, then..." He smiled to himself and rubbed his cheek.

Sliding down a bit, he took Garcia's hand. "We can wait to do that until after hours. For now, we can just do something else..."

Garcia was certainly eager, but the _last_ thing he wanted to do was hurt him, so he allowed Orozco to slide back down to the floor to stand on his own.

After a moment of standing there together, he closed his eyes and leaned down to kiss the inmate softly, quite the change from his energy not even a minute earlier.

Orozco slid up against him, holding Garcia's cock against his own as he began to rub, kissing him slowly and delicately. His palm glided over the tip of the guard's cock, and he purred gently into the kisses as he moved back to press against the wall again.

Even if they just touched each other until they came, he'd be satisfied. He was a patient man... He let people come to him, mostly- unless it was an emergency.

Still, he didn't force much sexual contact, mainly sticking to kisses.

Garcia gently held Orozco's arms, stroking him with his thumbs, as he kissed him. A soft moan escaped his lips when his cock was touched, but he didn't do much other than snake his tongue into the inmate's mouth and entice his tongue to do the same.

This was so much more intimate than the fast paced fucking he was used to. Even if his favorites did kiss him often, it was never quite as _romantic_ as this. Or perhaps that wasn't the right word...

Perhaps the word he was looking for was _genuine_. The thought made him slightly sad.

Tongue swirling over Garcia's, he rolled his hips before pulling him down further, wanting to kiss him more easily.

Pulling Orozco closer to him, he opened his mouth a bit more widely and kissed him more deeply. Even if he wasn't having sex, he was still happily releasing the pent-up energy he had, and kissing the inmate passionately, he was realizing just how much his heart tugged for the other man.

Could it be that he'd fallen in love? With an _inmate_ no less?

Orozco whimpered loudly in response, body jolting as he took Garcia's hand and brought it to his chest, surprisingly one of his more sensitive areas. Nobody ever really thought to touch him there. The way his tongue pushed around, he was making the kiss very sloppy, but he didn't mind. His cock twitched, prompting him to rub up against the guard.

There was something so lovely about Garcia... perhaps the fact he did his best to be kind in a system that required the opposite. Perhaps the fact he always treated Orozco with delicacy. It made the thought of staying more bearable... but he knew that wasn't on the table.

Garcia brushed his fingertips across the man's chest, stroking his soft skin with his thumbs while a small smile formed on his lips.

His cock was still throbbing, and he pushed up against Orozco again, though with less force.

Orozco moaned and held on tight to Garcia, rolling his hips against the guard as he shivered, pushing his hands down against his chest further.

Spreading his legs, he began to slide down to the floor, wanting to find a position in which he could rub up against Garcia more comfortably.

Garcia could feel himself being pulled down to the floor and moving a hand to Orozco's back, gentle slid down, still kissing him the whole way. Once they were lying down, he continued to press into kisses.

Orozco slid himself on top of Garcia entirely, biting his lip gently as he began to move his hips at a steady pace, precum slicking up both their cocks. He moved away for one moment to murmur about how good it felt.

Garcia decided to let Orozco take over, instead focusing on passionately kissing him. Opening his eyes for a moment, he admired the other man in the low light, exhaling more deeply in bliss as his eyes shut once more.

Orozco practically straddled Garcia as he kissed more, reaching a hand down to hold their cocks together, trying to get himself off on the friction alone. If he came, what would he do? He hoped it wouldn't land on Garcia's uniform... Moving his head over, he began to nibble on the guard's ear.

Garcia tucked a leg up behind Orozco and slipped his hand down to the inmate's lower back, dragging his fingertips along his skin. With his head beside Orozco's ear, he breathed more heavily, focusing on every sensation he felt.

Those noises made Orozco's heart beat hard in his chest, and he couldn't help but buck his hips a little harder, hand reaching to focus entirely on Garcia as opposed to both of them, rubbing him up and down at a fast pace while kissing the side of his face.

As their pace increased, Garcia found himself edging towards an orgasm, and he pushed Orozco off of him just a bit.

"I-I'm gonna cum soon... But I don't wanna make a mess..."

He blushed and put a hand on his face, breathing hard still.

Orozco laughed softly and slid down, sacrificing his own orgasm for a little bit longer as he came to rest between Garcia's legs.

Looking up at him, he ran his tongue up and down his shaft before taking him in his mouth, mindful of his teeth. It seemed this would be a common occurrence between them.

As he sucked, he gently teased Garcia's balls, ass swinging from side to side.

Looking down at Orozco, Garcia released a soft "fuck" before leaning his head back and letting the sound of his panting fill the air of the locker. After only a minute of having the inmate suck him off, he groaned loudly and came, moving a hand down to push Orozco as far down on him as possible.

Orozco's eyes shut tightly as he was pushed down, cum pouring down his throat as he swallowed what he was given, whimpering as much as he could with his mouth full. Pulling back to pant heavily, he wiped the saliva from his mouth and looked down at Garcia.

"Jeez..."

Although he was still coming down from his orgasm, he looked down lazily at the inmate and saw him wiping his mouth. He felt a twinge of panic at his words.

"A-are you okay? Did I hurt you? If so, I'm really sorry, I was just afraid of making a mess and it felt good..." His rambling faded out a bit.

He laughed and shook his head. He had wanted to fake cry about it just to tease Garcia, simply because he was so cute when he panicked, but he decided against it.

"No, it's all good, it was just a bit... Rough, is all."

Looking to the side a bit, he smiled softly. His mind was occupied by thoughts of Hullahaz momentarily, and he hoped he wouldn't be feeling alone...

Garcia still berated himself for it.

"I'm sorry Orozco, I didn't mean to be rough with you..." Gripping his own hair with one of his hands, he growled at himself. "Stupid..."

He struggled with self-restraint, and didn't want to hurt any of his partners, despite his desire to be an intensely passionate lover.

"You're not stupid," Orozco whispered, trailing his hands up Garcia's body as he came down to lean against him again, giving him a slow kiss. "I was just surprised."

He was used to being treated rather roughly, but it was always accompanied by kisses and sweet words and touches, adding a layer of tenderness to the situation. It wasn't much different with Garcia- he felt the man truly cared about him.

Garcia sighed, still feeling bad. Looking up into Orozco's eyes, he felt his heart swell, and he placed a few more kisses on his lips before holding the inmate's head delicately.

"I want you to cum too... Can I suck you off? I won't be rough with you, I promise..."

Orozco giggled and kissed him one last time before nodding, nuzzling his neck with a soft sigh.

"If that's what you want, I won't say no..."

He sat up slowly, looking down at him fondly before scooting back to rest against the wall.

Garcia moved down, lowering his eyes to look at the inmate's sizeable cock that he was once again going to suck off. A smile formed on his mouth before he placed his lips on the tip, sliding Orozco deep into his mouth and letting the broad side of his tongue rub against his shaft.

A low, shaky moan left Orozco's lips as he arched his back, reaching an arm up to rest his palm flat against the wall, burying his face against his shoulder. He moved his hips only slightly, wanting Garcia to do most of the work. His intense arousal meant he wouldn't last long, but he wanted to enjoy it while he could.

Garcia lightly trailed his fingers down Orozco's balls, pushing his mouth further down on the other man. Glancing up, he could see him getting lost in the feeling, and this greatly pleased the guard, making him push him in even further, sloppily licking him with his tongue as he massaged him.

Of _course_ he wasn't able to last much longer than that. With all the precum he'd been producing, he was surprised Garcia hadn't felt overwhelmed already. Biting his lip hard enough to leave a mark, Orozco rocked his hips forward to be as deep as he could go without hurting Garcia (hopefully) before emptying himself inside his mouth.

Panting, he looked down at the guard, a healthy blush on his cheeks. "Good boy..."

Despite the fact that Garcia was quite dominant, he _adored_ being a bit subservient to Orozco, reminding him of what he said earlier about joining his cult.

Swallowing down every drop, he took his time pulling off of the other man, licking up any traces of cum from his tip.

"Anything for you, like I said..."

"Yes?"

Leaning down to kiss Garcia's forehead, he slowly began to straighten out his clothes, sighing gently as the man continued to care for him so tenderly. He ran a hand through his hair and looked fondly down at him before whispering.

"Come fuck me tonight, then."

…

That day, Astrid hadn't been in to work. She called in for an unpaid day off, and had taken the time to pay the local abortion clinic a visit. The whole drive there, she'd been feeling the slight bump in her stomach, and her hands were shaking as she thought about getting rid of her unborn child.

Walking in was hard, talking to the receptionist to set up her walk-in appointment was harder, but by far the _hardest_ thing was seeing the other people in there.

A couple young girls were alone and on their phones, but seeing the _couples_ in there made her suddenly feel scared, alone. She _needed_ Kingston, but he was still locked up in jail and would be for the next two years.

_That's why I'm here... Because he can't be... It's not fair to him to have a child he can't be around to raise._

Even still, her hands continued to shake, and she felt herself getting antsy in the chair.

One of the couples had some tissues. The woman was crying and just like Astrid, hardly looked pregnant, maybe even less so. Gut clenching, she stood up, froze, then walked over to the receptionist again to cancel her appointment.

Rushing out of the clinic in tears, she quickly got into her car and rested her arms on the wheel, sobbing into them.

…

The next day at work, she felt awful, but summoned Kingston to tell him what happened.

By this point, she hadn't even really put on more than some light eyeshadow and mascara. Knowing she would undoubtedly cry, she didn't feel like messing up a bunch of make up.

Kingston was eager to see Astrid again. The atmosphere in the prison had been tense, but the cell had almost been like heaven. Of course, he still had the situation with Carson on his mind, but she didn't need to know about that.

No, what he'd do was tell her about how he'd made amends with Obasanjo, how the cell's occupants were closer now, and how he'd finally risen to the challenge of manning the cell without McDonagh.

Of course, he'd also speak of the redhead's return.

Popping into her office, he smiled widely at her as he waved, coming over to take his seat. Maybe this meeting would be good...

Astrid was so happy to see him after a week and a half or so that she threw herself on him into a hug, hurriedly shutting the door and spinning around until she was back against the wall, holding him close to her.

"I missed you so much Stuart..."

The time away from him had been exceptionally hard.

He hugged her tightly in return, kissing her cheek before resting his head against her shoulder. He'd missed her too, wanting nothing more than to be beside her again, and he felt light flood his body as he held her to him.

"I missed you too, Astrid... It's been so weird around here."

And he was to blame, surely.

"I'm so sorry we haven't seen each other in a while..." She blamed herself being busy with other inmates, but it was also out of guilt of having not gone to get the abortion yet. She had over two weeks since the news of Kingston's appeal being rejected without having gone in, and when she _finally_ did she'd run out.

"It's okay, shit's been stressful, I get it," he spoke softly, rubbing her back gently. "It has been for me too, y'know, with McDonagh down in solitary and all that. He's back now, though, so that's over and done with..." Smiling gently, he pressed his head to hers.

"I-I have some... news." It seemed today she was going first, even if Kingston was technically _her_ responsibility.

"Yeah? Tell me," he moved back just enough to look into her eyes.

Astrid felt so safe with him, the feelings she had when she was back the clinic alone all melting away as she looked into her beloved's eyes.

"I... I couldn't go through with it. I got there, I made an appointment... and then everything hit me and I ran. I just... got too scared." It was hard for her to maintain eye contact, and she lowered her head.

His smile faded gradually. He realized what this meant, of course, and although he didn't like the thought of the abortion any more than she did, he was back at square one with his feelings about the pregnancy. He let his hands run down her arms, one of them coming to rest against his head. "Shit..."

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes momentarily. "Shit, I'm sorry, babe. I wish I could've been with you, I really do, but I... I can't. Not without the appeal... And even then, I wouldn't want you to do it."

Astrid sighed and leaned against him.

"I don't want you to miss out on being a father, a-and I don't know what I'm gonna do about my mother, _especially_ since I _know_ she'll tell my dad, and then I'll be pressured into talking about it... and that's outside of _our_ situation..." A sickly feeling was welling up in her throat.

"God... you don't deserve this... this whole mess... why can't I just go and get it over with?"

Hugging him more tightly, she forgot that he would be able to feel the slight baby bump.

"Listen, I'm sure... At this point, it just... It's too late, isn't it? The decision's been made," he murmured, putting a hand down to her stomach, feeling the tiny bump with the tips of his fingers.

"What's a few years, anyway," he whispered. "It's not like anyone can know it's mine."

He looked at her for a moment before closing his eyes again. He didn't want either outcome, but if he had to choose one, waiting for the baby to know who he was seemed the better one.

"Don't worry about me."

"I always do though..."

Nuzzling into him, she closed her eyes and breathed slowly. "I'll lie to my parents... even if it freaks them out that I went and got pregnant at all."

Staying silent for a moment, she added, "A-and if I claim I can't get daycare, maybe I can bring them in. I mean, I stay in the offices, so it wouldn't be AS dangerous for me or the baby, a-and they might let me actually do it..." Looking up into Kingston's eyes, she blinked back some tears.

"Then you'd get to meet your baby..."

He took a deep breath and put his head in his hands, trying to conceal his distress. More than anything, he just wanted to get out of this hellhole, but he knew it wouldn't be possible.

He wanted to ask about Astrid's family, but they sounded like unpleasant people, so he decided he'd save that for another time. A better time.

Looking down at her, he rubbed his eyes before looking away again, mental images of a baby in a fold-up playpen bouncing around in her office, or riding in a carseat behind her, or clinging to her hair filling his mind.

A baby he could hardly reach.

"Better than nothing, huh..."

The tears continued to well up, and she broke down, apologizing profusely over and over at being unable to go through with the abortion. As painful as it was for her, she knew how it would be even more painful for Kingston during his time away from their child.

Wiping her tears away, she sniffled and cleared her throat. "S-so, what's been going on for you?" She desperately wanted to change the subject, since he seemed in a better mood before hearing her news.

Nothing now could really push away his feelings of despair over not being able to see their child, but he did feel relieved that it wouldn't be lost forever. He didn't know _how_ to feel, exactly, but he knew whatever it was, it wasn't good.

He held her hands tightly, not meeting her eyes due to being afraid of crying as well, yet he held her close to him, letting his head rest against hers. He really didn't want to talk about his day and act like this wasn't happening when it was clearly more important.

"Things are... okay." He sighed. "Astrid... I don't want to talk about me when you're this upset."

"Babe... there's nothing we can do right now to magically change the situation. I'm just gonna have to deal with it. But I'm your counselor, and I want to hear about what's been going on with you. It might cheer me up, you never know." She was secretly hoping it would.

"This has been the biggest thing on my mind for weeks now. I could _really_ use a distraction."

He folded his arms and looked down, not feeling in the right mood to talk about the good stuff, but not wanting to upset her further by admitting to the really bad stuff.

"Things are fine."

It was all he could think to say, really. He raised a hand up to wipe his tears away, grumbling.

"We watched a movie."

Astrid could tell that he wasn't up for talking about his good news, so she sighed and moved back.

"What do you really want to talk about Stuart?" Her eyes stayed down.

"I don't want to talk about anything, nothing's gonna make either of us feel better no matter what I say," he sighed. "I'm sorry."

He had never been good at handling his emotions, had he? He could blame his mother for that.

"I just know I'm gonna be hung up on this for a while."

Astrid took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay..."

Hugging one of her arms, she continued to look down at the floor.

"I don't really have anything else to say, but," Looking up into Kingston's eyes, she had a very steeled expression, "If I did wind up getting an abortion anyway, either because I had to or wound up mustering the courage, would you be more upset?" Her eyes trailed back down.

"Not saying I'm going to, because I highly doubt I ever could now, but... I just have to know."

"I don't know," he replied earnestly, unable to see more scenarios than the one he had in front of him at present. "Probably..."

He felt like a child being lectured in class all over again. This was a common occurrence in Astrid's office, more so than anywhere else in the prison.

"I'd be sad, especially because I know how much you want it." He nodded slowly, pressing himself against the wall.

"I just wish I could be there, that's all. I wouldn't want to get rid of a baby just for that..."

Astrid moved closer to him, reaching a hand out slowly to touch his arm.

"Alright... thank you." Her eyes clouded over again as she got lost in her thoughts.

"I just... was afraid that my selfishness was going to hurt you more. Well... more than it already has. Especially since I promised you I would abort the child if..." She didn't want to say it again.

"I'm sorry Stuart, I really am. For putting you in this situation at all."

He huffed and retreated from the outside world by ducking his head, leaning closer to her.

"I did everything right. I was on my best behavior, and now I'm never getting out."

Feeling like he'd said a bit too much, he shook his head. "You aren't selfish, you just have a lot of love in you, that's all. I've always wanted a family, just..."

Not like this. Of course, he never thought it would happen.

"Just as long as you're okay, I don't care..."

Astrid wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes. "I'm going to try to do everything I can to either shorten your sentence, or make life better for you. Anything at all, I'm going to try." It still shocked her that they'd denied his appeal, since he really had been the best applicant she'd seen in a long time. Worse offenders with longer sentences who got into a lot more trouble had been released early, and this wouldn't stand with her.

She silently decided to forcefully reopen his appeal at the first chance she got.

"I love you Stuart, so much."

He leaned against her some more with a quiet sigh , pulling her into an embrace before burying his face against her shoulder. "Thank you," he whispered.

He knew he didn't really qualify for that anymore, and he hated keeping secrets from her, but he just wanted to _be with her_ , to start a family with her and to love her properly.

"I love you too... I just wanna get out of this hellhole..."

He'd never make another drug for as long as he lived if it meant being outside with Astrid.

"I know you do hun... and I want you to be out too. It'd probably take a miracle at this point, but that doesn't mean I won't keep hoping and praying for one."

Moving her head up to his, she pressed their lips together softly, not wanting to pull away ever again.

Hearing someone as grounded as Astrid hear about prayer and miracles made Kingston smile for a moment, finding new hope in her love. The kiss made him remember every sunlit moment they'd had in this room, and he ran a careful hand through her hair as he leaned into it.

Nothing would get in their way once he was out. He'd make sure of that.

Astrid placed her hands on his cheeks and pulled herself closer to his face. Oh how she'd missed the feeling of his lips, the way he held her, his scent, his hair, his voice....

A small moan escaped her lips as she got lost in the moment.

He gently pulled her up into his arms, holding her closer as he kissed her, walking over to his chair to sit down, holding her in his lap. He could be strong sometimes!

Looking into her eyes, he moved away to speak. "Any time without you is the worst."

"Same about you babe..." Pushing back into the kiss, she straddled him, relaxing on his lap and focusing on just being close to him.

"God I love you... and I missed you." It was so hard for her not to try to sneak him out...

"I love you and missed you too, so much... yknow, I think the other guys do too, they really liked you..." He didn't mean that in a cheeky sense, either. He was genuine.

She was part of the family. Kissing her again, he pressed his hand to the small of her back, losing himself in her taste.

This brought a huge smile to Astrid's face. "I-I'm glad... I really liked them too." This time, she stayed pressed to him, sliding a hand down his chest to feel his body, while the other moved to the back of his head, which she held closely.

: He sighed and purred in her embrace, puffing his chest out so she'd have more to touch, his lips gently caressing her cheek. "Who wouldn't like you, though? You're magnificent," he smiled, pressing their foreheads together- and for a split second, he swore he could feel his tail swaying from side to side.

Astrid smiled lovingly at him and tilted her head.

"I'd say you're the more magnificent one. If you didn't have your hair tucked away in those dreads, I'd say they'd make one lovely _mane_." Leaning in to give him another kiss, she giggled.

Kingston blushed and looked at her, biting his lip nervously. He'd liked the dreads due to them adding weight to his hair and shaping it in a way similar to a mane, since he always figured his hair would never fluff out on its own.

"Y-you... you think so, huh..." He was thankful she hadn't yet told him to quit it with the lion stuff.

"Mm, they'd make you one big ol' handsome lion." Astrid had picked up on the lion stuff and enjoyed using it to make him happier.

Rubbing his nose, he laughed and leaned against her a little more, feeling shy. "I'd like that... especially if I had a powerful lioness beside me..." Running a hand through Astrid's hair again, he chuckled. "Even if she has a more glorious mane than mine."

Astrid realized she had never taken her hair down fully in front of Kingston, so she put a finger to his lips before moving her hands back to her ponytail. Pulling out the hair tie, she shook her hair free, the blond strands glowing in the sunlight from the window. As it draped down over her shoulders, she leaned back in for another kiss.

He gasped in complete awe as he saw her hair in its full glory, falling over her like golden silk. He wanted to reach out and touch it, but before he could, she was kissing him again, and he was melting in her touch. His hands slowly made their way to her hair as he sighed in bliss, stroking it delicately.

He really didn't deserve her.

Having her hair touched was a treat, and her mouth hung open as she breathed slowly. Moving around on his lap a bit, she felt his erection in his pants, making her heart flutter. Sitting down firmly on him, she tilted his head back and licked up his neck, kissing near his ear.

"Mmm, Stuart, I'm so glad you love my hair..."

He wanted to say how he loved everything about her, and that her lovely hair was just a remarkable plus, but the sudden weight on his erection made him totally speechless, his body turning to putty in her hands as she asserted her dominance over him.

"Sorry," he murmured, "is it weird...?"

"No, baby, I _love it_."

Sliding her hand underneath his shirt, she rubbed his chest delicately with her fingers as she continued kissing him up and down.

He squirmed at her touch and breathed out a shaky laugh, his hands running through her hair before sliding down her back, resting right above her ass as he felt his cock throb.

He tilted his head back for her, but occasionally leaned forward to catch her lips for a split second. His pants began to feel awful tight.

Astrid knew _exactly_ what she wanted to do, but she would work her way to it.

Nibbling down Kingston's neck, she dragged her teeth along his collarbone, then down the front of his chest, tracing his tattoo with her tongue. Slowly sliding off his lap and onto the floor, her hands glided down his sides. If it wasn't clear what she was up to, it would be soon.

Astrid was kneeling between Kingston's legs. Her head was hovering near the bulge in his pants, and she teasingly dragged the tip of her fingernail down the top of his cock through the fabric.

"You like that, Stuart?" Her hands were already primed to pull down his pants.

Kingston shivered under her, trying his best to stay still, but feeling his hips start to push upwards against his will. Having his skin tantalized by her was enough to make him moan quietly, his body heating up rapidly.

He looked down at Astrid with half-lidded eyes, admiring the view from above her as he tried to control his breathing. She really was great at this teasing thing.

With a whimper, he nodded as his whole body shook at her touch. He silently begged for more, putting his hands over hers.

"Please, Astrid..." Remembering his manners, he added "b-but only if you're sure!"

With a smile, she gave his bulge a small kiss, looking up at him.

She tugged his pants down, getting to fully admire his cock in front of her. He was just the right length, just the right girth... She adored him.

Keeping her eyes trained on his, she slid her tongue up his shaft, dragging the tip up the back of his head and teasing the very end.

Feeling suddenly oddly shy, Kingston put his hands up to his eyes as he moaned before slowly bringing them down to her head, stroking her hair gently as he admired her.

He sighed through shallow breaths, cock twitching as she licked it. She took pleasure in teasing him, he knew- and it was frankly very cute. He did his best to relax in his seat and enjoy the ride, but he didn't want to take his eyes off her.

He still couldn't believe they were together...

Astrid pulled herself just a little bit closer and moved her lips onto the tip of his head, swirling her tongue around in circles on him. It felt so nice to see him enjoying himself, and to finally get a chance to suck him off.

After waiting just a moment longer, she slipped her mouth down onto him, pushing him in as far as he

He knew if he allowed himself, he could cum from that alone, but he didn't want to ruin Astrid's fun. He shivered and inhaled deeply, putting a hand on her cheek with the slightest jerk of his hips.

When she took him in, he leaned his head back and exhaled, body going limp for a moment before tensing up again due to the sensation. He closed his eyes and arched his back, eagerly anticipating her next move.

It felt nice, all the ways Kingston's body reacted to what she was doing. Sliding her hands up his legs, Astrid began slowly moving up and down on his cock, gripping his sides a bit before dragging her nails gently up and down his back.

She tilted her head up a bit and looked up at him, admiring the sight.

He jolted slightly a few times, sighing and enjoying how his body tensed and relaxed, cock throbbing in her mouth as she worked him. Her pace was almost agonizing, the nails against his back reflecting this, but he was patient for her.

He met her eye for a moment before letting his eyes roll back in bliss, a quiet moan of her name following the tilt of his head.

Astrid couldn't stifle a moan when she heard her name, and she could feel herself being physically aroused. Of course, right now was meant to be spent on Kingston...

Moving one of her hands to his cock, she held him steady while she began moving at a steady pace, sliding him up against her tongue.

Kingston was nearly at the point of begging when he felt Astrid change things up, going faster than before while also adding extra pressure to his cock. She was so good to him, yet all he could say was 'ohhh'. He felt embarrassed.

Pushing himself up a bit, he reached down to gently hold Astrid's head, commenting on how beautiful she looked- which honestly just came out as a jumble of murmurs.

Astrid could feel him melting beneath her touch, and she pushed him in even further as she sucked. Feeling him embrace her head made her shiver, and she licked him harder.

Hissing her name, he began to bend over in an attempt to keep from climaxing too soon. Now his hands were on her back, sliding down as he panted, feeling heat begin to pool in his stomach. All because he'd touched her hair!

Astrid couldn't help but move forward and arch up her back as he slid his hands down it.

With another muffled moan, she closed her eyes and moved as quickly as she could without choking herself, wanting to taste him when he came. Her other hand wrapped itself tightly around his back, which she gripped while sucking on him.

That was it for Kingston. Shuddering, he hugged himself to Astrid as he came down her throat, muffling his moans by biting his lip, not wanting anyone to barge in and find out. His entire body tingled and shook as he felt his energy leave him slowly- yet he still wanted to do something for her. Her wish was his command.

Panting against her, he couldn't help but move his hips the tiniest bit as his orgasm came to a halt.

Astrid's eyes rolled back and she panted hard, feeling him spill inside of her mouth. Swallowing down most of his cum, she pulled off of him and licked her lips to clean up the rest on herself before moving back to lick the rest off of her lover's cock.

Her clit was throbbing and she pulled off her pants quickly, feeling the intense need to grind on him.

"Stuart... _nnng_... baby, c-could you do something for me too?" Her voice was soft and almost _desperate_.

Still recovering from the orgasm, Kingston sat up slowly, arms shaky. Even seeing Astrid clean herself (and him) was enough to make him lose his mind, but he held himself steady. Licking his lips before taking another few deep breaths, he saw that she was getting undressed.

"Of course," he replied with concern, holding his hands out for her to guide him, to give her what she wanted, "what do you want me to... Or can I decide?"

His spine tingled as he tentatively brought her a little closer before dropping to the floor, letting his hands run down her thighs.

Now underneath her partner, Astrid tucked a leg up around Kingston's torso, moving a hand to his chin.

"Mmm... I'll let you decide..." She was already rocking her hips up against him, grinding on whatever part of him she touched with her groin.

He found it incredibly arousing, so before doing anything else, he moved down to kiss her lips, pulling on the bottom lip carefully with his teeth before moving away. His hand slid from her thigh to her crotch, letting her press against it as she saw fit. "It's so hot to see you like this..."

He felt iffy about penetration now that the baby had begun to show (something he couldn't shake), but he would gladly do anything else. Poking a finger inside her teasingly, he ran his tongue down her neck.

"What, to see me submissive and wanting it?" She nosied him and released a breathy chuckle. Her laughs only turned to gasps as he toyed with her, and within moments of feeling his hand, she began pushing up against him and groaning as she fell into a rhythm with her hips.

"Nah, just to see you use me as a means to get off..." He pushed into another kiss, inserting a second finger into her as he spread them slowly inside her, her wetness dripping down his hand. He angled himself so that her clit was pressing to his wrist, and once he was done kissing her for the moment, he slid down to kiss her chest through her shirt.

"Oh _Stuart_!" Astrid kept her voice as quiet as possible, her jaw dropping open as he inserted more fingers. Moving one of her hands to her blouse, she unbuttoned the top four as quickly as she could, pulling down her bra and letting him do whatever he wanted with her breasts.

Now _she_ was the one succumbing to pleasure...

Licking his lips, he pushed his mouth to her right breast instantly, pressing his tongue to her nipple to roll it around as he began to finger her just a bit faster, angling his hand to hopefully push her walls in all the right ways.

He was steadily getting hard again, but he didn't care. He bit her breast tenderly, giving her little nibbles.

Astrid's breasts had slowly started to swell up as her pregnancy picked up, and she leaked out a little milk when she was sucked on.

This only served to make her even _more_ aroused, and she whimpered as she rubbed herself against Kingston's hand.

Having him inside of her, she _missed_ it.

His eyes widened as he felt something warm and sweet against his tongue, and he quickly realized what it was. With a delighted moan, he fit his mouth over more of Astrid's breast and began sucking eagerly.

He wanted to give her more, but he was nervous he'd ruin things somehow. To try and compensate, he tried sliding another finger inside her, reaching in as far as he could.

His other hand came to rest on her left breast, which he began to squeeze.

Astrid let her head drop back and spread her legs out wide, now mindlessly grinding against him as she felt herself approaching an orgasm steadily.

_"Baby, don't stop...."_

Sucking harder, he rolled her other nipple with his index finger and thumb, pinching it as he slid his hand out of her momentarily to echo this movement on her clit. He rocked his hips forward involuntarily, sighing in pleasure.

Astrid pushed hard against him and felt her orgasm echo through her body, holding herself against Kingston tightly.

" _Stu_...." At this point, she couldn't even really speak. Trying to catch her breath, she stayed still, slowly relaxing back onto the floor.

Surprisingly, even to him, the event had managed to make him leak precum like crazy (he planned on going to the bathroom before returning to the cell), which he quickly dealt with by holding the hand on her breast under himself. He closed his eyes and took her orgasm in, taking his sweet time to pull his hand away.

Head resting beside hers, he gave a weak laugh before kissing her cheek. "Man, I love you..."

Post-orgasm, Astrid curled herself in close to him, burying her face into his chest and closing her eyes.

"I love you too...."

He held her close, slowly distracting himself from his arousal as he let tiredness overcome him instead, when he realized he'd have to leave soon.

He didn't want to.

Closing his eyes, he pretended that he could be here forever.

Astrid caressed him, equally as unwilling to pull away. She had no idea when she could see him next, seeing as she was full on appointments for the next week, with more trying to meet with her to set up appeals. After all, the holiday season was fast approaching, and inmates were looking to get out sooner to spend time with their families.

And now of all times, she _needed_ Kingston.

A small beeper went off on her desk, and she flinched a bit.

"Right... I set that as a five-minute reminder before my next appointment..." Hugging him a bit more tightly, she sighed.

Kingston whimpered before getting up slowly, pulling her up with him. He had his arm around her still, and he was reluctant to move away too much, even though he had to get going. The thought of Astrid working harder on his appeal was comforting, but he still didn't want to leave her side.

He still hadn't told her about Carson, and he didn't know if he could keep that in forever.

"I'll be back to see you, if... If I can," he nodded, unaware of what was just around the corner.

Reluctantly pulling her clothes back on, Astrid sighed.

"Yeah... please do. I'll keep looking into getting your appeal reopened, while dealing with all the others..." Her thoughts were distant, and she didn't want to think about getting back to work."

That didn't fill him with a whole lot of confidence, so blinking back tears, he gave a nod before running his hand down her arm, turning away to head out of the office.

Looking back, though, he thought of something to say, but nothing came. He just fumbled about before opening the door. "Yeah, I- OH..."

Standing before him, in amused confusion, was Obasanjo, hands in his pockets.

"Oh, hello..."

"Hello, Kingston."

Kingston turned to Astrid, fumbling still as he felt the man smile down at him, and he waved her off to avoid feeling too cornered. "Goodbye, thanks!"

Obasanjo laughed to himself as he closed the door behind him.

Astrid smiled as Kingston scampered out the door, and held her expression as Obasanjo closed the door behind him.

"It's nice to see you again." Gesturing to the chair across from her, she straightened out her skirt.

Taking his seat with a small smile, he folded his arms and observed her.

"You look tired."

Eyes trailing from her to the door, then back again, he smiled a little wider.

"But happy."

Astrid blushed a bit. "Yeah, that'd be right."

She tried not to think about how the inmate in front of her was sitting in a chair where Kingston had just been sitting while she sucked him off.

"You don't need to worry. I won't tell anyone."

He chuckled to himself, arms going to rest behind his head now as he closed his eyes. It felt good to know everybody had secrets.

Covering her face a bit, she realized her hair was still down and her face flushed even more as she quickly reached to tie it back.

"Th-thank you..." Astrid trusted Obasanjo quite a bit, knowing he was a good guy. If it had been a much skeevier inmate, they probably would have threatened to tell unless she serviced them too... A thought that chilled her.

She was very thankful for the good inmates she was close to.

"So, how have things been with you?"

"No worries. You have done a lot for me, I figured it would be disgraceful of me to turn on you over something so innocent."

He knew sucking dick wasn't exactly _innocent_ , but he was referring to falling in love. Opening his eyes slowly, his smile seemed to get bigger.

"He apologized to me. Was that your doing?"

Whether it was or not didn't matter, but he was curious. It seemed like Astrid would share her concerns over Obasanjo's wellbeing with the other inmate.

Astrid was quietly fixing up her make up a little bit as she listened to him.

"Well, I did talk to him about it. Encouraged him to not jump to conclusions about people. I think he came to the apology on his own."

"Oh, yes, that's more what I meant. Thank you."

Taking a deep breath, he rolled his sleeves down as he adopted a more somber tone.

"I've been fine, but the atmosphere is tense. The air is thick. God willing, nothing is wrong... But I feel like it would be best to stay alert."

Astrid's smile drooped a bit.

"You're not the only one who's said that to me. Do you think something might be going down?"

Part of her wanted to hope for a prison break, since it could make for an easy way to be with Kingston, but it would be risky as _hell_ , and she had no idea what the fallout would be.

"I fear so, yes. But please, don't put yourself in danger trying to find out what it is. The way they move in packs... Like clockwork. They try to stay hidden, but I see them."

Rubbing his nose a bit, he tried to calm his unease.

"Orozco's men."

Astrid's blood ran cold. She knew it had to be them, but she wasn't sure what they might be planning.

"Th-thank you for telling me. I don't think there's anything I can do, but I'll be on high alert."

"I trust you will. Don't tell Kingston, though. I don't know him as well as you do, but I know he's... Easily impressed."


	16. The Riot

The day had finally come. Orozco had kept very close tabs on everyone, and had made sure to reveal the bare minimum to those he didn't fully trust. Even Hullahaz was only told the night before, and due to this, the tattooed man hadn't slept a wink. He'd been doing better, he thought, save for the one time he nearly exploded at everyone in his vicinity... But he'd caught himself, and now he had perfectly regressed into the neutral-yet-intimidating man he was before Ben had arrived.

Orozco was incredibly proud of his men. They'd all worked their fingers to the bone, and they'd gotten everything ready right on schedule. They almost all knew the escape routes and the locations of the explosives, and those who didn't would be guided out by other members of the cult (or himself). He was sad he'd have to face life without them, but he figured he couldn't hold onto glory forever.

His getaway drivers would be waiting just outside the prison fence. All he had to do now was wait until five.

Ben had been privy to Hullahaz's near-outburst, and as such had turned a bit more reclusive, although he stayed closed to McDonagh.

His head had become a blur, his time on the inside feeling like a melting image, and he no longer fully understood the passage of time. He was going through the motions, but not being present in the moment, something that couldn't go by unnoticed to his cellmates.

Turner had been actively helping with his cult's work, but had been told very little. He didn't ask though, trusting Orozco's judgment in whatever it was that was going on.

Garcia kept quiet about the cult activity, which his boss continued to pressure him about. After one day where he nearly broke down and exposed Orozco, he took a two-day unpaid leave, showing back up again on the final day, feeling remiss about his job, but worrying about the cult leader as well.

Astrid had been completely unnerved by the commotion the cult was causing, and opted to take a day off to calm herself down, choosing the right day to do so. Her thoughts were filled with worry about Kingston, although they extended to the rest of the cell and even Obasanjo.

McDonagh hadn't been there when Hullahaz had just about combusted, but he _had_ talked to Ben about forgiving Orozco. It hadn't gone well, as expected, and he'd ended up hating himself more over it. Still, he'd chosen to stay strong about it all, internally beating himself up over still not speaking to their departed cellmate. He kept putting it off... He kept saying Ben was more important.

Kingston had noticed agitation within Astrid, but he'd attributed it to her being stressed about his appeal and the baby. He'd been too stuck inside his own world to fully realize the mood of the prison had slowly shifted. He was haunted by images of Carson lacking eyes, yet he didn't regret a thing.

Obasanjo grew warier by the day, and he knew that if need be, he'd run as fast as he could and knock down as many obstacles in his way. He wasn't going to let his life be endangered. Not after all he'd been through.

Roger had only barely started showing his face outside the cell, and he couldn't have chosen a better time to do so. Everyone was too busy with other things to notice him. Everyone but the office lady... She always gave him a few minutes out of her day. It made him feel just the slightest bit stronger.

Orozco counted the hours, rambling excitedly to Hullahaz, who hadn't seen the man be this motivated by anything before.

"I've prepared lunch in advance. Oh, I hope the men working the kitchen make it out alright... We'll have to go check on them."

…

Ben was looking through his drawings again, still admiring the favorite one he did of Hullahaz, McDonagh, Kingston, and Roger. His mind was back at his first week, with all of them so present in his life. He wished he could go back and live in that moment forever... Even if it meant never getting out.

McDonagh came up behind him, kissing the top of his head before putting a hand on his shoulder. "Having a bit of a moment, huh?"

He teased him gently, hoping to lighten the mood. It was so grim around here... So tense.

Ben glanced up at him and sighed, folding up the drawing and putting it in his pocket.

"I guess."

Kingston was worried about Astrid, but he said nothing about it, merely looking over at them with a weary smile. "When's lunch? I'm about to die of starvation."

Hearing Kingston mention lunch made Ben’s stomach rumble, and he checked the clock. "Soon."

Turner wasn't in the cell. He was out looking for Orozco. He'd been hearing mumblings of something going down, but wanted to know more. Besides, he'd been patient and unquestioning this whole time. Clarifying with their leader couldn't hurt, right?

Asking around, he learned that Orozco was in his cell, and he quickly made his way over.

"Hey boss."

-

"It's gonna be okay in the end, I promise." McDonagh had been promising that one for quite some time. He didn't believe it to be true, but he felt morally obligated to say so.

"And hey, you got us, right?" Kingston smiled a little wider, resting on his folded arms. "We've done a pretty okay job at keeping you safe so far."

-

Hullahaz sat up only slightly when he saw Turner approaching, but otherwise he stayed still. Orozco, however, approached him with a smile, reaching out to take his hand.

"I'm so glad you came to see me. I was going to ask someone to go find you..."

-

Ben's heart warmed a bit, looking back over at the two men he knew the longest and loved the most who had stuck by him. But at the same time, it struck a nerve when he remembered Hullahaz.

"Thanks guys."

-

Turner smiled when he heard that Orozco wanted to see him.

"Well then I've got good timing, don't I?"

-

Rolling off the bed, Kingston tapped McDonagh on the shoulder and turned his head to one side. "C'mon. We can fit in a game of cards before lunch."

McDonagh snorted before giving Ben's waist a squeeze. The sky was pretty gray out, so he figured it wouldn't hurt to try and cheer things up inside.

-

The man nodded, squeezing Turner's hand.

"I have a favor to ask you... After lunch, could you stay in the kitchen for a while and help clean up? There's a lot to be done... I'd do it myself, but I have to deal with something else. Could you do that for me?"

Turner smiled glancing down at Orozco's hand touching his own.

"Of course. I'd be happy to." Slowly moving away, he realized he hadn't asked his leader the question he asked, but decided he could ask later.

"Oh, and Turner?"

He moved to be closer to Hullahaz, sitting at the edge of the bed with one arm draped over him.

"Thank you for always being so loyal to me."

He wanted to add a _take care_ , but he feared that would raise suspicion- or panic- in the man.

Turner stopped in the hallway and looked back at the man.

He chuckled lightly. "Thank _you_ for looking after me."

And with that, he headed down to the kitchen.

Orozco smiled and cuddled up to Hullahaz.

The tattooed man's mind was elsewhere, however. He knew what he had to do.

…

Lunch was, as expected, delicious yet uneventful. McDonagh wanted to go into the courtyard for a run, but Kingston suggested they smoke the very last bit of catnip instead, just to ease the mood.

Time seemed to be crawling by. The sun began to set sooner than usual due to the season, which was exactly what Orozco wanted. The slight clinking of bottles could be heard if you listened closely enough.

Ben wasn't feeling much better from smoking, but he appreciated their efforts nonetheless.

Something about the day felt different, and as he closed his eyes and relaxed between his cellmates, he felt like time had stopped.

Kingston felt cuddly as usual, and with every good intention in the world, he draped himself over his other two cellmates. McDonagh chuckled to himself, looking out the window with one hand on Ben's. "Where the fuck's Turner? He's missing out."

Ben grumbled, petting Kingston with his free hand.

"Fuck, I don't know..." He didn't want to suggest cult business, which was what the three of them were trying to ignore.

"Oh well."

"Oh well is RIGHT. He's not spending time with his... His... HOES... He's spending time with a hoe..." Kingston commented, waving his hand around before snorting.

McDonagh couldn't help but laugh. "You mean his _homies_ , right? I'm not his hoe."

"Homies sounds like a racist thing to say..."

"Like you'd know anything about racism."

The banter made Ben giggle. It reminded him of their old cell dynamic, and he added his own quips every so often to keep the good mood going.

They seemed to talk for hours, even though only an hour had really passed.

"Fuck, you guys are too much," McDonagh chortled, standing up. "I gotta pee."

"Maybe you're just... little?" Kingston offered, and before McDonagh could say 'fuck you', every wall in the prison shook with the force of fifteen explosions.

Ben fell backwards onto the floor, screaming, and he grabbed onto Kingston for dear life.

Orozco's eyes lit up as all the screaming began. His few belongings had been packed into a small bag, and he was ready to set this great escape in motion. Grabbing Hullahaz by the hand, he got ready to head to escape route number one; the one closest to the vehicles.

But Hullahaz wouldn't move.

-

Turner had been in the kitchen when the explosions went off, and he dropped the rack of dishes he was holding to hold his head, the sound ringing in his ears.

-

And Garcia had been monitoring a hallway closer to one of the explosions, and got flung against the wall by the force of the shockwave. His head was dizzy and his back hurting badly, but he was otherwise fine, and with his head spinning, he slowly made his way out towards the central area of the prison, keeping a hand on a wall to steady himself.

-

Kingston's ears were ringing, and he did his best to retain his balance as he held Ben to him. McDonagh had been knocked back onto the bed, yet his brain was working fast. As the first molotov was tossed in the courtyard, it became all too clear.

Still, he had no idea how to act.

-

"What are you doing!? Muévete, vámonos!" Orozco tried desperately to get Hullahaz to move, but the man wouldn't budge from his spot in the hallway.

"I gotta go help 'em."

His words had been soft, but their weight had been like lead. Orozco's eyes widened before narrowing. "What...?"

"I can't just leave 'em there. I gotta go back." Hullahaz began to turn around, much to Orozco's disdain.

"What do you _mean_ you can't? After all they did to hurt you? After all they put you through, you can't seriously go crawling back to them, can you?" He was losing his composure, and Hullahaz could tell. The taller man sighed.

"I'm never gonna forgive myself if I let them die," he replied, his voice only a tad louder.

" **I'm** never going to forgive _you_ if **you** die!" Tugging on Hullahaz harder, Orozco began to scream. They were wasting precious time. "And what about me, huh? Did I never matter to you? Look at me!"

Hullahaz neither looked at Orozco, nor answered him.

"Answer me! Answer me, you ungrateful prick!  I sacrificed countless hours for you!! I put your feelings before mine every time!! I rescued you when you needed rescuing! You're mine, you hear me!? You're-" His tearful rant was cut short by arms around him, pulling him into a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry," Hullahaz whispered, and it was a miracle Orozco could hear it over how hard he was breathing. "I'll come back to meet you once I'm done. I promise."

Orozco could say nothing as the skeletal man took off in the direction of his old cell. The show must go on.

-

Ben was shaking as he stood up, pulling Kingston off the floor with him. Eyes wide, he ran over to McDonagh.

"W-what's happening??" Looking outside, he could see fire spreading through the courtyard, and he covered his mouth.

"A riot...." His heart raced even faster.

-

Turner was suddenly surrounded by his fellow cultists all scurrying towards exits. Spotting Rivera, he ran over.

"What the fuck is going on man!?"

-

Garcia had made his way out into the main cell area. Holding his head, which had started to bleed just a little bit, he could see inmates running for their lives - and their freedom - and he backed against a wall, trying to stay out of their way. Should he get between them, it could cost him his life.

Making his way to the exit of the prison, he edged along the wall, trying to keep his balance.

-

"I knew, I fucking _knew_ that maniac would come up with something like this, oh god..." Kingston sat up before standing, shaking his head. It seemed they were safe so far, but people were rushing past at an alarming rate. The sound of screams and sirens was almost enough to make him vomit.

"Fuck, do you think we could just make a run for it? The fuckin' doors are probably all on lockd-" Looking at the cell door still swung open, he wondered if that was true. Before he could even register it, a figure appeared in his line of sight.

"Get movin'."

-

Rivera took Turner's hand with a stern look in his eyes. "Change. Come with me, we need to supervise the evacuation."

-

Orozco had swallowed his tears and headed right for the office where he'd been able to discern the officers kept their guns. By now he was sure most, if not all, had already been taken, but it was worth a try.

As fate would have it, two of his men had managed to knock a guard to the ground, and the gun had been scattered in his direction. Picking it up, he grinned to himself before hearing a noise behind him. He didn't hesitate to aim it, but when he saw who it was, his eyes softened.

-

Ben gasped and stood there frozen. Hullahaz was standing before them, a look of urgency on his face, and although Ben wasn't sure how to react, he was soon being pushed forward out of the cell. Pretty soon, he wound up running with them.

-

Turner didn't ask questions but followed his fellow cultist through the mayhem. He wanted to ask him all kinds of questions, but now was not that time.

-

Garcia stopped where he was walking and gasped, holding his head and shrinking back as he found himself face to face with Orozco... And a gun pointed straight at him.

"Orozco...." His eyes watered up as he realized the situation he was in. "P-please don't...."

-

Running through the hallways towards the exit, McDonagh was shouting for an explanation from Hullahaz, who was ignoring each and every word. "You knew about this? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Wait- why did you come back at all!? What the fuck is wrong with you? We could have gotten hurt! ...Why the change of heart?"

Kingston realized how, in his panic, McDonagh had asked a lot of conflicting questions. Hullahaz merely said "shut up and run."

-

Rivera was directing people towards one of the holes in the walls, trying to get them to go as quickly as possible, lest they get caught by the guards. "Someone will guide you outside, just go! Go!"

-

It took Orozco a minute to lower his gun, but he kept holding it steadily. "I wouldn't... But please don't try to stop me. You're one of the good ones... Understand that this is for the best."

-

Ben's mind was once again a blur, and stuck close to Hullahaz as they ran through the hallways. He didn't even know what they were looking for, nor did he care. Things were too much of a mindscrew for him.

-

Turner joined Rivera, trying to help as best he could. Shouting over the noises, he asked him, "Is there somewhere I should go or should I stay here with you?"

-

Garcia fell to his knees, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I won't try to stop you..." He hugged himself and leaned against the wall, "But I will miss you..."

Closing his eyes, he looked away.

"Go... Please..."

-

Hullahaz led them towards a sizable hole in one of the walls of the break room. On the way over, he saw the office lady scurrying to safety as best she could, dragging someone with a limp behind her.

_The junkie._

Part of him was glad he wasn't alone in all this, but his moment of relief was overshadowed by the sounds of shouts coming from behind them.

"Go through and run. Don't stop runnin' until you can't see this shithole anymore." Shoving Kingston through the opening, he locked eyes with McDonagh and held his stare.

-

Rivera shouted in return in order to get the message across properly. "Go to the east wing if you can and do what I'm doing now! If it's too dangerous, then just come back here!"

-

That had thrown Orozco off. He nearly let go of the gun from shock, but he remained resolute and at a safe distance. Although he wanted to wipe Garcia's tears away, he knew there was no time.

"Get out of here quickly. They won't discriminate and you will end up hurt..." Closing his eyes, he smiled softly. "I'll miss you too. Thank you for all your help."

Looking at him for just a second more, he turned to run.

-

Ben only managed to catch a glimpse of the office lady with Roger, and this nearly shook him out of his daze.

"Roger!!" He cried out, but it was too late, and he was being pushed through the hole with Kingston. Turning back, he reached for Hullahaz.

"What about you?? Where are you going??" His head was still fuzzy, but things were becoming clearer.

-

Turner nodded and bolted for the east wing. However, rounding a corner, he was face to face with armored guards, some of which had inmate's pinned to the ground, others dead. It was too late for them, and swallowing the lump in his throat, he booked it back to Rivera.

-

Garcia couldn't suppress his tears as he watched Orozco go, and scrambling his way into the supply closet, he grabbed a gun and made his way back out, heading directly for the main exit.

It had been surrounded by guards and cops, who took him in readily and brought him outside to tend his injuries.

-

The office lady came face to face with Obasanjo, and for a split second she thought she was going to get tackled to the ground. Instead, he put a gentle hand on her arm, rubbed it, and picked Roger up before booking it for one of the exits. She followed, hurriedly explaining that she had a white Subaru near the front, and that they could get away with that...

-

McDonagh was reluctant to have Ben speak to Hullahaz _now_ of all times, but he knew there wasn't anything he could really do to prevent it save for urge Ben to move through faster. Not wanting to clog the exit, he and Kingston moved to the side anxiously.

"I..." Hullahaz nearly replied before he heard the shouting intensify, screams of pain following. Letting go of the wall, he moved to turn around. "Get outta here."

-

Costa had joined them sporting a black eye, and he stuck to Turner like glue as he saw the last of the surviving inmates on that side escape. Tugging on him, he began to follow them. "To the trucks, come on!"

-

Orozco was torn between firing gleefully at cops and helping people escape, but he knew what he had to do, and at that moment he made way for one of the exits closest to the front of the prison... But something wasn't right.

-

Ben got pushed through the hole with the other men as the last charge ran through, and pretty soon he was lost in a sea of bodies. He kept his eyes peeled for Kingston's dreadlocks, but he felt hopelessly lost and panic was setting in.

-

Turner didn't protest and made a break with the others, spotting the escape trucks out a ways. His long legs carried him swiftly, and he held onto Costa's hand as he ran.

-

McDonagh's arm shot out to grab him, pulling him aside to safety. Kingston was glued to the wall, itching to make a run for it but not wanting to risk getting shot by one of the cops who were rapidly approaching.

"We _need_ to move," McDonagh stated in a clear, stern voice as he looked into Ben's eyes.

Hullahaz hadn't moved from where he was, but he was clearly looking for something.

-

Orozco realized what was wrong with the picture. _There was no exit_. One of the charges hadn't gone off, and he'd been too caught up in his excitement to count the explosions. Cursing under his breath, he began to turn back around, before he noticed he should probably stay and turn people back around were they to reach this dead end.

-

Ben hugged McDonagh tightly, terrified for his life as a few cops began opening fire on the fleeing inmates. Of course, when he was spoken to, he nodded his head quickly, grabbing onto Kingston and moving towards the area where he saw a lack of cops, McDonagh in tow.

-

Turner arrived at the trucks and began helping people climb in, when he noticed that someone was missing.

_Orozco._

Leaving the other men behind, he made a beeline for the prison again, making his way around the cops and sneaking through the rubble, hoping and praying he would find him.

-

It soon became apparent that Hullahaz had no intention of joining them. He had turned his back on them completely, and his body language seemed to indicate that he was aiming to face the cops. He'd come out of the prison a few feet, but he seemed to be ensuring the escape of others instead of attempting it himself.

_Please don't let Ben notice that_ , McDonagh hoped as he began to shed the top layer of his uniform in preparation to run.

-

Guiding people around was easy enough, but something still didn't sit right with him. As one person slipped past him, he turned around to try and stop them, and that's when he heard something- beneath all the screams and smashes and stomps.

A beeping.

Crying out for the inmate, he grabbed them and threw them across the hall seconds before the last charge went off.

-

Ben only managed to sneak an even smaller glimpse at Hullahaz. Tears formed in his eyes as he realized that he was not coming with, and before he got too far away, he called out to him.

_"Thank you!!"_

Ben now also removed the bright orange clothes from his body. However, he grabbed the paper in his pocket and held onto it tightly, the one thing he took from the cell.

-

Turner heard a final explosion go off, and he _knew_ that Orozco had to be there.

And of course, it was in the boiler room, and he now knew _exactly_ where they'd have placed it.

The other inmates in the blast area had already fled, but Turner could see someone lying on the ground bleeding, their colorful hair a mess.... and his heart sank.

"Orozco, _no_!!" Scrambling through the fresh rubble and dust, he came up to his leader and gasped, once he had full view of what happened.

-

He looked over his shoulder once, and were Ben near enough he would have been able to tell that, for a split second, he was afraid. Turning back around, he lifted his crowbar high in the air, watching as flames engulfed the building before him.

It was the last thing he'd see with both eyes.

Kingston whispered a pained "no" before being dragged along by McDonagh, who now broke out in a full gallop as he knew Hullahaz had given his life for them to be able to escape. He refused to let the last thing the man had done for them go to waste.

Ben felt his heart snap, and in that moment, all clarity came back to him, and he reached for the lover he'd lost.

**"ZEKE!"**

McDonagh kept pulling him along, keeping him from stopping, but being torn away from him was _agonizing_ , and he howled in utter _anguish_.

-

The inmate that had been thrown away sat on the floor in utter shock, shaking and weeping.

"I-I-I don't know what happened, but I suddenly- he grabbed me, and when I opened my eyes, he..."

Orozco lay unconscious, cuts all over his face. They were thin, and would heal without a trace, but his left arm had suffered a much worse fate. It lay across from him, charred and mangled, remaining fingers contorted in a claw. The little that remained attached to him wasn't enough to salvage, and would have to be amputated to leave a clean wound.

Turner, once past the initial shock, reached down and hurriedly scooped up Orozco in his arms, urging the other inmate to get up.

"C'mon! We gotta get out of here!" As they ran, Turner quietly whispered to the smaller man in his arms.

_"It's okay... It's okay..."_

-

As much as it hurt, McDonagh practically lifted Ben up to start running, and he had to shut his cries out in order to get them far away enough.

Kingston kept looking back, tears and panic clouding his vision, but he didn't stop for a second. He couldn't. Spare change rattling in his pocket (he'd planned to buy more snacks that day), he made a mental note to find a payphone... But any other thought he had was a blur.

Zeke could very clearly feel where his optic nerve had been severed, and this realization had caused him to enter a sort of third-state, in which he was a spectator to his own body. Sitting up slowly, he gripped his crowbar more tightly and ran it through one of the cops, not knowing- and not caring- whether he'd survive. He fended off another, and then another with some help, before blindly making his way down the halls to fulfill his promise.

He saw Turner run past with an inmate in tow, and another in his arms... _Orozco_.  It was Orozco. Feeling his chest ache, he called out to them, moving along the wall.

Orozco's eyes opened, and in a weak and shaking voice, he spoke as he reached out his remaining arm. "Hulla..."

-

Ben got far enough away from the prison with McDonagh and Kingston before he went limp in the former's arms, sobbing and moaning as he felt the loss of Zeke gripping him.

Turner paid no mind to the blood that was getting on him, only focusing on getting his leader out to the trucks. The cops seemed preoccupied on the other side of the prison, so the route back was clear, and when Hullahaz joined them, he nodded at him, leading him away.

McDonagh kissed his head and face, stroking his hair as he tried to soothe him. He knew they'd have to be separated soon, but he wanted to make sure Ben was in a fit state to survive. Kingston joined in a hug before pulling away to observe their surroundings. He could still see the faint glow of fire.

-

As soon as the trucks were in view, Santoro came running towards Turner, crying out for his leader as he helped them into the last truck. They knew he needed immediate medical attention, so the driver would be forced to stop at the hospital. There were crates with clothes inside, which had been amazing foresight on Orozco's part.

People gradually began to notice Hullahaz's lack of an eye, too, yet it wasn't until he was inside the truck that he took a moment to collapse.

Turner now was looking after both Orozco and Hullahaz, tying up the stump left of his leader's arm while bandaging up Hullahaz's face.

-

Ben was grief-stricken, his whole body shaking, and it had only begun to set in that pretty soon he'd be alone.

And all of a sudden, he found himself wishing he was back in the cell during his first week, safe, cared for...

The distant sounds of the riot kept him from getting too lost in his thoughts. The clouds from earlier had started to sprinkle rain down on them lightly, and he clutched the paper tightly as he moaned.

Stroking Ben's face, McDonagh kept repeating the words "we can't stay", trying to make Ben see that no matter how badly they felt, they had to run further away still- they had to separate.

"I'm not ready..." Kingston groaned, putting his hands up to his face. "I'm not ready for this."

"You're gonna have to be," McDonagh replied with a frown. "Cause we can't go back now."

-

Many men surrounded Orozco now, thanking him and trying to change his clothes as the trucks set out on their course. Hullahaz reached up to touch Turner's shoulder, murmuring a 'thank you' for him as well.

He tried looking at the man beside him, who seemed stuck in a state of shock.

-

As the wave of grief passed for the moment, terror set in, and refocusing on the present moment, he clung to McDonagh's shirt.

"No, no! Don't leave me Cillian! Please!!" Although he didn't want Kingston to leave either, he knew that Astrid would be there for him, so he had a valid reason to split up. McDonagh on the other hand....

" _Please_..." Ben reached a hand up to the redhead's jaw, his lips quivering as he blinked away more tears.

-

Turner nodded at Hullahaz in acknowledgement, and after both he and Orozco were changed into different clothes, he cradled the man again, not wanting to let him go while he was in this state.

"I'm here, I'm here..."

-

McDonagh held his hands tightly and looked into his eyes, thinking hard. He supposed he could stick with him a little longer, make sure he got somewhere safe... But once he was there, he knew it really would be goodbye.

At least for now.

"I'll get you to a safe place. Have you call your aunt. We can..." He felt a surge of panic run through him as he realized his journal was back at the cell. "We..."

Closing his eyes, he felt the strength leave him for a moment.

-

Orozco stared on dead ahead, breathing shallowly as he felt pain course through him. The moving of the truck was making him sick, but he could hardly tell which awful feeling stemmed from what.

Hullahaz had passed out entirely, the pain in his skull proving unbearable.

-

Ben saw the strength go from McDonagh's eyes, and he pulled the man in close, hugging him.

"I would appreciate that...."

He didn't know what else to say to him.

-

Turner held him closer.

"Hold on Orozco, please!!" Looking back at the driver, he urged, "C'mon!! Can't you go any faster? He'll bleed out!!"

He wasn't angry, he was just terrified of losing him.

-

McDonagh held him in a tight embrace, but when he looked up at Kingston, he knew it was goodbye.

Goodbye to the man who'd been there from the start. Goodbye to the man who'd angered him and made him laugh in equal amounts. Goodbye to the man who, despite everything, had looked after McDonagh more than he'd looked after him.

The man he was still in love with.

Kingston's eyes reflected nothing but pain as he pulled out what little money he had. "For... For phone calls."

-

The driver looked back at him in panic.

"I can't raise suspicion either, you know!?"

Speeding up some, he took a turn as he swore he heard sirens in the distance. The hospital was near.

Turner knew this, but he was still terrified. Terrified of losing Orozco in his arms....

-

Ben turned to reach for Kingston, his crying eyes offering as much of a "thank you" as he could muster in his current state. "D-don't forget us..."

Handing the money to McDonagh, Kingston chuckled softly before placing his hand on Ben's head, giving his hair a ruffle. "You know I could never forget you."

Giving him a soft hug, one that showed how fast his heart was beating, he turned to look at McDonagh again, and the two of them flew into a tight embrace, with the redhead slapping Kingston's back as Kingston held on like he couldn't let go.

But he did, and with one last look at them, he ran towards the nearest town, where he knew a payphone to be.

-

Pulling up to the hospital, only a few men were able to go inside, but those who did cried out for assistance, some dragging the wounded Hullahaz along, others helping Turner carry Orozco.

-

Ben could barely whisper out a "bye" before Kingston was gone, and he was left with McDonagh. And he knew McDonagh couldn't stay with him either.

Clinging tightly to the redhead, he buried his face in his chest, whimpering.

_"I'm scared Cillian...."_

-

Turner didn't let anyone else take Orozco from him, and as they walked into the ER, hospital staff rushed over to him.

"We need to take him to the ICU. You can wait in this room for him." Heart pounding, he held his leader tightly, but knowing that the longer he stalled, the lower Orozco's chances of surviving, and he reluctantly placed him on a stretcher.

Watching Hullahaz go by, he silently wished him luck as well.

-

Pulling Ben up a bit, the redhead looked into his eyes and kissed his forehead. "We can't stay. I'm scared too, but we can't stay. Hullahaz..."

It hurt to even think about.

"We'd be fucking him over if we got caught. Hold my hand- we can run like this."

As the rain began to fall, McDonagh knew he'd never recover from his broken heart- but he had to think of the here and now.

-

The cultists who'd come out began to panic in the waiting room, both from their exposure to the outside world and from how nervous they were to see if Orozco would survive. Still, they felt relatively safe, as if the hospital were a haven.

Doctors immediately got to treating Hullahaz's injury, and they sewed his eye shut until the day he could afford a fake one.

Orozco's wound was treated, but not before putting him under.

-

Ben whined when he heard Zeke's name, but nodded and stuck close to him, making a run for the city.

Despite wanting to be with his aunt, he didn't want to leave McDonagh behind...

-

Turner was pacing around the waiting room, a sinking feeling in his chest the longer time passed. Still, he refused to cry. Not so long as there was a chance that Orozco was alive.

-

McDonagh knew today was a day for goodbyes, and he intended to see Ben off to somewhere safe, somewhere he'd be away from danger and getting caught. He wished he had someone to return to, but he didn't. He'd be fine, though. He always had been.

In fact, there was a place he could check out as soon as he got there.

-

An hour later, a nurse came into the waiting room. "He wants to see you."

The cultists perked up, Hullahaz now with them, and Santoro addressed what everyone was thinking. "Which 'you'?"

"All of you," the nurse replied.

-

Ben spotted a pay phone and led McDonagh to it, trying to get out of the rain as he clutched the paper in his hand to his chest. More than anything, he _had_ to keep it dry. It was all he had left of Zeke outside of memories.

Dialing the number, he waited for it to ring three times before finally someone picked up.

"Hello?"

"Aunt Stacy, it's me. I-I escaped in a prison riot and I need-"

"Wait, what!? There was a riot? Oh my god..."

Ben welled up again, glancing outside at McDonagh, trembling.

"I can't stay anywhere, it's dangerous, it's wet, I need somewhere to stay..."

"Shh, calm down Benny... I'll fly out now to come get you." A tap of buttons revealed his aunt typing at her computer.

"I can pay for a hotel stay for the night, just tell me where you are and we can get it set up."

The two of them figured out his sleeping arrangements for the night as she bought her plane ticket. She told him to be at the airport as soon as possible in the morning, and to wait by arrivals for her. They'd need to get him some information so he could fly, and then they'd be gone as soon as possible, but for now he'd have to wait.

Turning to walk outside of the phone booth, Ben stuck close to McDonagh.

"T-there's a hotel down several blocks that she paid for me to stay in." Pausing, he closed his eyes. "I-if you could stay the night with me... I'd be grateful."

He just couldn't bring himself to say goodbye.

-

Turner led the group in, rushing up close to Orozco's bed and gripping the side, his heart racing.

_He's still alive._

-

"Anything to be out of danger," the redhead replied, arm around Ben. "And to be with you for just a little longer."

He couldn't keep that one in, could he? He just had to open his big mouth.

 Walking in the dark towards the hotel, he wished he'd said nothing at all.

-

Orozco looked extremely worse for wear. A bloody stump at his shoulder where his arm used to be, pupils dilated, hair a complete mess... He'd never let himself be seen like this by his cult.

And yet he smiled up at them. Weakly, but it was there.

">We did it.<"

Costa wiped his eyes and shook his head, looking down at his fallen leader. ">No, Orozco... You did it.<"

Shaking his head with a weak laugh, he felt tears form in his eyes involuntarily. Reaching out to grab Hullahaz's hand, he whispered. "You came back for me... But you're missing a piece..."

Chuckling quietly, the man shook his head. "It wasn't me who saved you."

Everyone urged Turner to speak up with his eyes, but before he could, Hullahaz continued.

"He did."

-

Ben gripped him more tightly and tried everything in his power not to think about leaving him.

He'd already lost Zeke, and he didn't want to leave Cillian.

Arriving at the hotel, Ben led the redhead up to the room, so amazed by how _nice_ the hotel was. Well, it was three stars, but they'd just broken out of prison, and virtually _anything_ was better than that.

Looking around the room, he spotted the bathroom, the promise of a hot shower that wasn't in a room full of criminals calling to him strongly. As he glanced over at Cillian, he sat on the bed, wiping his other hand dry before unfolding the paper on the bed. Fortunately it had taken very minimal damage from the rain.

_Only one left..._

-

Turner was in a mental haze, thrilled to see Orozco alive, but still in shock. He couldn't stop thinking about how he'd found the man, and how he hadn't let him far out of his grasp until he was forced to at the hospital.

Once he saw everyone looking at him, he felt his face heat up, and placing a hand on Orozco's stomach, he kneeled down beside his bed, burying his face in the side of it and closing his eyes, every fiber of his being trying not to break down in front of them.

-

Cillian breathed deeply once they were inside, and he was amazed at how little he remembered of the outside world. He hadn't even been in for that long, but he'd forgotten entirely what a bathtub was.

Sitting down on the bed next to Ben, he tried not to focus on how nervous he'd been to speak to the receptionist, especially with the news blaring everywhere about the riot.

Looking down at the paper, he blinked back tears and tried to focus not on what he'd lost, but what remained.

"Take a shower, babe. I'll go after you..."

-

Those around Orozco were now congratulating Turner audibly, stroking his back and giving his shoulders pats. He was a hero, they said. He'd made sure they all made it out.

Orozco gasped from joy and let go of Hullahaz's hand, rolling over onto his side to reach out his hand and run it through Turner's hair. "My hero..."

Even in his drugged state, he was aware of his surroundings and he knew perfectly well what he had to do, but for a few more moments he wanted to pretend they could all be together still.

-

Ben's hands shook as he moved away from the paper. He was terrified that a small breeze would somehow blow it away from him, out of reach, and that it'd be gone forever.

Much like Cillian.

"Please stay with me..." Moving his hands to the redhead's, he tugged on him to follow him up to bathroom.

"Please..."

Cillian did as he was told. He knew he'd have to say goodbye to Ben eventually, _especially_ for his safety, but for now all he wanted was to be beside the man. He was afraid of what he'd do once he was left alone, but he was resolute to survive.

Walking into the bathroom, he wrapped his arms around Ben and squeezed him tightly.

"I'm here. I'm gonna be here until you board that plane, I promise."

-

Turner shivered as he was touched, looking up into Orozco's eyes, his own red as he held back tears.

"I couldn't stand to lose you..." His words were barely above a whisper.

Orozco smiled gently and continued to stroke his hair, enjoying the idle chatter of the ex-inmates who were probably wracked with panic as well as relief.

Turning over to Hullahaz for a moment, he blinked slowly. "I'm so sorry about your eye..."

"Don't be," he whispered. "It's better than the loss of a life."

"I'm going to miss you," Orozco replied, "I'm going to miss all of you."

The room grew silent.

"But you _must_ leave. We got out, but you can't stop now... You need to return to your families, to your lives, to your freedom... You need to get someplace safe," he spoke slowly, yet decisively, despite his voice being so weak. "Otherwise, all this was for nothing."

-

Softly whimpering as he stripped down, Ben looked up and down at Cillian's body, not with lust, but over the scarred, worn body of the man he'd come to love deeply, the body of a man he'd soon have to leave behind....

For now, all he wanted to do was embrace him.

Starting up the shower, he stepped in, letting the hot water pour down over him and wash away his tears, as he waited for Cillian to join him.

-

Hearing Orozco talk of having his men leave only made Turner's heart clench, and he half-gasped.

He didn't have a home to return to. His mother never even showed up to his trial, and there was nowhere for him to go. The cult was his family now.

And it was breaking apart.

-

Cillian didn't hesitate to hug Ben to him, now naked and considerably less tense than he had been. He was exhausted, but he knew he couldn't let his guard down just yet. He wouldn't be able to until he was back in the ring, sleeping on the floors of the training center, surviving on whatever he could buy with the money he won in matches.

He was ready to go back to that life- he just wasn't ready to do it alone.

It was with utter love and care that he began to wash Ben's hair, enjoying and memorizing the softness of it.

-

Many of the men were crying. Their time with Orozco hadn't been long, but he'd made such a strong impact in their lives that they didn't know if they were ready to leave him behind. But he was adamant.

"You've done so much for me, and given me such an amazing purpose, but now it's time for you to give others purpose... And reclaim your place in the world. Nothing would make me happier."

Hullahaz reached out to grab his hand again, looking into his eyes with the remaining one he had.

"Go, hurry now, the truck is waiting... And don't forget that you're in my heart."

One by one, after giving Orozco one parting kiss, the men began to leave the room. He felt a piece of himself die with each that left, and the pain where his arm should be returned a little more.

-

Ben closed his eyes and relaxed as he felt Cillian washing his hair, knowing he would never feel this again. Despite wanting to cry, he could not muster up the energy to do so. After all, he'd been an emotional wreck all day, and it had worn him out.

Moving back just a bit, he reached up and began to wash the redhead in return, wanting to give something back for all that he had given him, and to enjoy as much of their time left together as he could.

Pausing just a moment, he looked into Cillian's eyes and spoke, voice soft and barely shaking.

_"I'll always love you."_

-

Turner, however, wouldn't budge. He stayed kneeling on the floor beside Orozco, not looking up into his eyes. It hurt to hear the other men leave, but he didn't say anything, knowing they had families to go home to.

Once they were alone together, he took a deep breath.

">I'm not leaving you.<"

-

Cillian's emotions were at the point of overflowing, but he somehow held them in. He had to be strong for Ben until the very last minute, and after that, he'd have to be strong for himself. He was afraid, but he wasn't going to give in.

Leaning down an inch so Ben wouldn't need to strain, he allowed himself to be washed, hands never leaving Ben's sides. He was going to miss him, but he refused to lose him forever.

Someday, somehow, he'd see him again.

"As will I, _mo grá_."

-

Orozco smiled and ran his hand through Turner's hair again, not saying anything for a moment. He knew of Turner's situation, and he understood his motivation, but all he wanted was for the man to be safe.

Hullahaz quietly re-entered the room, making his way over to Orozco to speak softly to him.

"It don't feel right leavin' you. I owe you so much."

The smaller man smiled, a few tears being pushed from his eyes. "I can't do anything more for you, though..."

"You don't have to, you already..." Hullahaz could feel his tears return- even to the eye that was no longer there. Orozco had been the only one to see him cry. Softly, the ex-cult leader hushed him.

"You have things you need to do. People you need to see."

All at once, Hullahaz remembered his sister, a wave of urgency hitting him. "But you-"

"I'll be taken care of." He stroked Turner's head one last time before reaching out to Hullahaz.

The man leaned over and kissed him on the lips, being held close by Orozco for what felt like the last time.

Orozco closed his eyes, not wanting to see him leave. At the door, the tattooed man spoke one last time.

"This ain't goodbye. I'll see you again."

And then it was just him and Turner.

-

As they rinsed off, Ben felt his body slowly starting to give out, his stomach rumbling. Although he didn't want to interact with anyone but Cillian, he figured his aunt would understand if they ordered room service food. After drying off, he pulled back the covers and collapsed on the bed, reaching for the phone and dialing up room service. He figured that Cillian would eat whatever, so he ordered them both burgers and fries with small ice cream cups for dessert.

Truly something to remind them that they _were_ on the outside.

Once he was done, he pulled his underwear back on (for when the room service came) and relaxed on the bed, breathing slowly, before reaching for the paper and folding it up again.

-

Turner sat in the silence, a dead feeling hanging in the air as he realized that his family members were gone. And for a moment, he felt empty again. He felt just as he did the moment he'd arrived in max, somewhere he'd still be if he hadn't been on his best behavior.

But in that same moment, he remembered why he was _out_ of prison.

The man who had been more of his family than all of the others combined. The man whose arm had been blown off for the sake of saving inmates. The man he'd _saved_ from dying on the floor of the godforsaken prison they'd been living in.

Turner loved him deeply.

Standing up, he leaned over and kissed Orozco's forehead before looking back behind him for a chair to pull up beside the bed. He sat down in it and replaced his hand on the man's stomach, wanting to remain physically close.

-

Lying on the bed, towel wrapped loosely around his waist until he found the energy to get redressed, Cillian kept a hand on Ben, stroking him softly as if to ease both their pains at once. The more he stayed like this, pretending like it was all going to be fine, with burgers and hot showers and someone to love in a comfortable bed, the harder it would be to say goodbye.

"I'm so glad we made it out," he whispered. _I'm so glad he came for us._

There was a knock at the door twenty minutes later, and he couldn't help but tense up.

-

Orozco was now getting ready to drift into unconsciousness, but the feeling of Turner beside him compelled him to stay awake. He was dealing with several losses at once, but he now knew he had gained something precious.

Turner had saved his life, even after how vague he had been. Even though he was the last member of the cult to join... He'd been his savior.

He couldn't hold back a small sob as he felt Turner's lips to his skin (finally...), and he desperately wiped his eyes before taking a deep breath, reaching for the hand on his stomach. He squeezed it with all the strength he had, and before he knew it, he'd passed out.

-

Ben also jumped when the door was knocked, and pulling on his pants in a hurry, he walked over to the door and cracked it slightly, his hair standing on end.

With a sigh of relief, he saw that it was, in fact, room service, and opening the door, he took their food and thanked the man.

"Here, dinner. It might not be Orozco's... cooking... but......"

For as much as he had hated the man, he'd ultimately been responsible for them getting out. Ben found it hard to stay mad.

Bringing the food over to Cillian, he sat down on the bed beside him and unwrapped the foil, savoring the taste of the burger.

"Wow..."

-

Turner didn't move from his spot, keeping his hand on him even when he himself began to get sleepy.

With absolute determination, he'd silently pledged never to leave Orozco's side again. Not only was he grateful for his prison break, he was grateful for his devotion to his men, being the first person to truly care about him, and that was something that Turner could _never_ shake.

The nurse eventually brought in dinner for Orozco, telling Turner where the food options were. The look he gave her managed to stop her mid-sentence, and she left without saying anything else, leaving the two of them be.

He had no money. He couldn't buy anything for himself, but he didn't care. He just wanted Orozco to get well enough for them to leave the hospital, and hopefully the city, far behind.

-

Cillian felt his body relax as Ben re-entered the room with food. That was one less thing to worry about, he thought. The smell of the burgers was enough to make his stomach rumble, and he sat up straight to be able to get his share.

"Y'know? All things considered, I wish I'd been able to thank Orozco for what he did. He was one crazy motherfucker," he chuckled softly. "I guess that's why this worked."

Reaching out to stroke Ben's thigh, he took his own burger and eagerly bit into it.

"Fuck, I can't remember the last time I ate a burger..."

It would be a bittersweet memory now for sure. He kept delaying telling Ben how much he'd miss him in words, but that wouldn't hold up.

-

Orozco woke up to Turner by his side, hand still held. The pain was seeping in now, and he groaned and began to squirm, realizing now that his mobility would be severely decreased.

Although he whimpered initially, he soon fell quiet as he didn't want to disturb Turner, the man who'd stayed beside him when everyone else had left. Could they really remain together? Could Orozco form a life with this man...?

The thought alleviated his pain momentarily, and he squeezed Turner's hand a little harder, grateful to have ever met him, to have ever let him in. If he was sure he wanted to remain by Orozco's side, he wouldn't be one to turn him away.

Sighing softly, he leaned back against his pillows anew.

-

Ben finished off his food quickly, for once. This would certainly be one meal he wouldn't forget.

Once he was done, he wrapped up the foil and tossed it away, waiting until Cillian was one before wrapping an arm around him and lying back on the large bed.

-

Turner stirred regardless and looked up at Orozco.

"Hey." Giving his the warmest smile, he stroked the man a bit and sighed happily.

"They brought your dinner."

-

Cillian didn't take long at all to finish his own dinner, and it was with no hesitation that he lay down and brought Ben close to himself.

The atmosphere grew silent, with little other than faint street rustle coming from outside, and as he lay there with Ben, breathing trying hard to stay steady as darkness shrouded the streets, he was made ever so painfully aware of how little time they had left.

He felt his heart break. Maybe he should have rushed his goodbye, left him there when Kingston had, just to be forced to not drag things out...

-

"Oh..."

Orozco smiled, but as he struggled to sit up, he felt his smile fade. "Can... can you..."

Eyes filling with tears, he blinked them back and held Turner's hand tightly. "Can you help me eat it?"

-

As they lay in the dark together, Ben held Cillian more and more tightly. The sooner they went to sleep, the sooner they'd separate forever, and he just wasn't ready yet. Breathing slowly, he leaned his head up to kiss the redhead.

"I'm so happy I met you...."

-

Turner's heart went out for Orozco, and pulling the chair closer, grabbed the fork and a small bite of food and slowly moved it to the smaller man's mouth. Once Orozco took a bite, Turner moved his other hand to the man's head and stroked his hair gently, a small smile on his face.

-

"I'm happy I met you too," he replied softly, and although it was true, his heart was heavy as he spoke. "You helped me remember my humanity."

Kissing Ben tenderly, he rolled onto his side to hold him closer. He didn't want the day to end, but at the same time, he was anxious to begin again. He needed to find that stability... And he needed to recover from heartache.

-

Orozco couldn't return the smile as the situation dawned on him more, yet he refused to break down. Swallowing, he tried his hand at feeding himself (luckily he hadn't lost his dominant hand), and although it was clumsy, it wasn't so bad.

"Thank you," he murmured.

Ben didn't want to think about anything tonight except being with Cillian. And that's what he was going to do. Moving his head in close, he kissed him and nuzzled him, keeping his body wrapped around the redhead as he enjoyed the man's company.

After all, morning would come far too soon.

-

Turner nodded, deeply feeling for the man. He couldn't imagine what it must feel like to lose an arm.

As he watched Orozco eat, he sighed, closing his eyes.

"My first name's Shawn. I just... You should probably know."

-

Cillian enjoyed Ben's presence thoroughly, but every spark the kisses set off soon became a bitter reminder of what he was about to lose. There was no plus to this situation that he could think of, yet he pretended that there was.

Inhaling deeply, he etched Ben's scent in his mind, running his hands slowly down his back.

-

Orozco began to smile slowly. "Thank you _for saving me_ , Shawn."

Closing his eyes, he leaned back again, not finding himself very hungry. He'd been through too much to eat, and besides, his cooking was so much better.

"I'm..." Was there any point in sharing his absurd name? "Tlanexilotl."

-

Ben arched his back up when he felt Cillian stroke him, but had a thought that made him feel better.

"Let me do something, hold on." Starting to pull away, he climbed off the bed and reached for a paper and pen. Writing down a number, he left the paper on the redhead's clothes before climbing back in beside him.

"That's my aunt's number. I can't bear the thought of potentially losing contact with you forever... I just can't." Holding him close again, he added, "at least I'll know you'll always be able to reach me."

-

Shawn mouthed out the name before trying to say it himself.

"Tlan...ex...ilotl?" He stumbled over it a little bit, chuckling.

"Would you like me to call you that, or something else? 'Cuz I might need a nickname for you if we're goin' with that...."

-

Cillian's shoulders slumped with the weight of his sigh. How had he not thought of that before? Relief washed over him as he embraced Ben anew, resting his head on the smaller man's shoulder.

"As soon as I get back on my feet, I'll call you. I promise," he whispered. He wasn't sure when that would be, but he'd remember to keep the number safe until then. In fact, he made a mental note to write it down several times in case the paper got lost.

He knew he'd lost Kingston. He didn't want to lose Ben too.

Kissing Ben's forehead, he closed his eyes, feeling like he'd be able to rest a little easier now.

-

Orozco's smile widened for a moment before paling. He reached his arm out to touch Shawn, wanting to feel him close.

"Yeah, that's it... My family all called me Nexi, though. You can do whatever you like..."

-

Ben smiled his first genuine smile all day.

"Thank you..."

This meant their goodbye wasn't really a true goodbye, something that put Ben at ease and allowed him to close his eyes peacefully.

Although in his gut he still didn't want to tear himself away from Cillian, he wouldn't be as devastated as he might have been had he not remembered to share the number.

Reluctantly drifting off, Ben's final words to the redhead that night were " _I love you_."

-

Shawn saw him reaching out and placed an arm on the man's stomach, looking into his eyes.

"I'll call you whatever you want me to. If you'd like to be called Nexi, then I'll call you Nexi." His chest filled with care for the other man, so happy to finally know his name.

-

Cillian was comforted in a similar way by knowing Ben would only be a phonecall away. He was able to drift off to sleep with relative ease, but the question of _how_ they'd get to the airport was now heavy in his mind. And how would he get back...?

Maybe he could ask for bus fare, but he felt bad asking Ben's aunt, who he didn't even know, for help.

Suddenly, thoughts of his sisters in foster care made him shudder. He had to find them...

Sighing deeply, half asleep, he whispered an "I love you too."

-

He felt a blush form on his cheeks, but the pain in his side was enough to detract from the embarrassment.

"Or you could call me Fury, which was the other go-to for people... But whatever you prefer is fine," he smiled still, hand running up and down Shawn's arm. "I mean... It brings back memories to be called Nexi... Back when I was a carefree kid, aha..."

Shawn's eyes softened as he thought about Fury as a child.

"I'll probably just call you Fury then. Reserve Nexi for special moments."

He stroked Fury's stomach slowly, remembering how he saw Malakai doing it during that one day in the showers, and how much Fury had enjoyed it.

…

In the morning, Ben awoke to the sounds of the city, roused at roughly 8:37am. His aunt had told him her flight would get in at around 9:30, so they had a little under an hour to make it there.

Still, even going through all of this made him feel heavy, and all he wanted to do was lie there with Cillian until the end of time itself.

Kissing him, he pressed his forehead to his lover's.

"Hey... It's... It's time to get up."

Cillian grumbled as he was woken up, a hand over his eyes to shield himself from the light. He didn't remember his bed ever being this soft...

It was only once he realized how different the room felt that he remembered he was no longer in prison. Anxiety and excitement gripped at him as he sat up, taking a deep breath as he reached out for Ben, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Right, shit, we gotta get to the airport... How are we gonna do that? I only have a few quarters left. That's not gonna be enough. Maybe..."

He thought hard, rubbing his temple. "Maybe I can stay with the cab driver and you and your aunt can come out and pay the poor guy."

It was all he could think of.

"Yeah, that could work. I'm sure she'll pay for you to take the cab ride back too, so don't worry about that."

It was hard for him to believe that he was going to be saying goodbye to Cillian today.

Pushing up from the bed, he pulled on his clothes, grabbing the folded up painting and keeping it safe in his hand.

"I think where I'm headed is a _little_ further out than a cab can take me," he chuckled. "I gotta catch a bus, too... I can't ask her to pay for that, too. I'll figure something out. I gotta."

Standing up slowly, he couldn't help but pull Ben into an embrace before moving over to get dressed again, keeping the phone number close to him before slipping it into his pocket.

"I don't think I'll ever be ready for this."

Ben swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Me neither...." In a moment of strength, he looked up into Cillian's eyes. "But we've got to try."

Moving forward into a kiss, he embraced him again, knowing that they would only get more opportunity to do this before Ben would be gone. It was hard to hold the tears back, but he refused to cry now.

Cillian held Ben close as he was kissed, keeping his arms around him firmly to show he wasn't letting him go out of personal choice. He knew Ben didn't need telling, but it wouldn't hurt to show it.

Breaking the kiss slowly, he nodded and took Ben's hand before heading for the door. It was time to face the free world and hope to god they didn't get caught.

Walking towards the hotel's reception, he kept Ben close to him as he asked the lady to hail them a cab. She looked at them suspiciously, noticing their odd choice of clothing, and wondering if somehow they were related to the riot a few miles over... Yet she said nothing, perhaps out of fear.

Ben pleaded with her with his eyes until she finally called one for them. It didn't take long for one to arrive, and Ben climbed in, leading Cillian with him.

_This is it...._

The drive to the airport was a silent one, but Cillian kept fearing that the cab driver would suddenly take a turn somewhere that would lead them to the police station. He was petrified the entire way, holding Ben's hand tightly.

It wasn't until the airport came into view that he was able to breathe.

"Is it alright if I hang with you until my pal here can get the right amount of money? We're way short."

The cab driver looked at him suspiciously, but shrugged.

Ben's breath had been tight the whole drive as well. Once they arrived at the airport, he scanned arrivals for his aunt, spotting her standing and waiting.

"Pull over there! She'll pay the fare."

The car parked in the loading zone, Stacy running over to them as Ben opened up the door and hugged her.

"Q-quick, you gotta pay the fare for us. We promised him you would." He pulled away to tell her, eyes glancing back at Cillian, making them mist up.

Cillian waved at her, a smile on his face. He was glad to see she'd done as she promised, and had come to rescue Ben from whatever life had in store for him here.

He knew he wouldn't have to go back to prostitution now that he had her. He, however, would have to go back to fighting. It didn't worry him, though. He knew he'd always have a home in the ring, and whatever money he made from that, he'd be able to afford food, at least.

Maybe a trip to the internet cafe to see where his sisters were... It wasn't all lost yet. It would be hard, but it wouldn't be hopeless.

Stacy looked up and saw a redhead with Ben, not anticipating him but the other man she last saw.

"I won't guess which one you are, but if you've kept Ben alive and well, then thank you." Tears welled up in her eyes and she quickly moved forward, hugging Cillian for a moment.

When she backed away, Ben stepped up in front of him, the waterworks he'd been holding back finally leaking. Placing his hands on Cillian's chest, he looked into his eyes and pressed their foreheads together, breath shaking hard.

"I'll miss you so much..." Ben locked their lips together as Stacy began to weep, not fully understanding what her nephew went through, but knowing he was losing someone very dear to him today.

_"You'll always be in my heart Cillian... Never forget that."_

Being hugged by Ben's aunt was an experience all in itself, and he found himself wishing he could stay with them, if only for a little while. But it was not to be.

"I tried my best, ma'am, but it was a team effort. It wasn't all me, but unfortunately not all of us could be here to see him off," he chuckled, though his nose was becoming stuffy and his eyes were sparkling with tears.

Having Ben approach him only made them spill over, and he was quick to dry them before putting his arms around Ben for the last time... At least for now.

Kissing him, with a hand running through his hair, he took a deep breath and prepared himself for the journey that would change his life, hopefully for the better. "I'll miss you too, you softie," he teased, trying to downplay his own emotions. "And I'll call you as soon as my life is back on track."

Slowly letting go of Ben, he moved towards the cab again.

"I couldn't forget that- I couldn't forget you, _fianna beag_."

Ben held onto his arm as he moved away, trying not to let go as he broke down. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he sobbed.

Although he was going to live with an aunt who loved him, he'd lost everyone _else_ who had ever loved him. His mother, his sister, Roger, Stuart, Cillian, _Zeke_.

It was all going away the moment their hands separated.

And just like that, they did.

Stacy pulled Ben back onto the curb, holding him to her chest as he wailed, struggling to catch his breath as the cab pulled away, and leaning into his aunt, he felt his legs giving out.

She held him tightly, not saying anything and just wanting him to release all this pent up emotion before they got on the plane, trying to take on some of his pain to lessen the load on his shoulders.

But it would take a while before he finally calmed down enough to head inside.


	17. Epilogue

The next few months were an intense period of recovery for everyone. Living under the radar wasn't easy, but after such an embarrassing fuckup on the part of the facility, no one within Litchfield actually bothered searching for those who had escaped. There were simply too many.

Of course, they didn't know that.

Kingston moved in with Astrid, proposing to her about a month and a half after they'd gotten their first house together out in the suburbs. He'd scrapped up all the money he'd managed to gather from working as a cashier and bought her a ring that, while not very expensive, was certainly pretty. His hair had all been shaven off, but it was with utmost delight that he discovered it was growing back quicker than he'd expected.

McDonagh returned to fighting as he'd said he would, taking out all his sorrows on his opponents, trying to see if the pain from losing his family would finally go away. He discovered his sisters were under the care of his stepfather's sister, who welcomed him with open arms whenever he visited, yet due to not having enough cash to his name, he wasn't able to visit often. However, a spectator noticed his potential in the ring and approached him, offering him a chance to have a proper boxing career. He took it without hesitation, and, as promised, he called Ben- telling him to change the channel until his face was on the screen.

Fury remained with Shawn, slowly recovering from his loss, and eventually hooking up with a surgeon who would provide him with a fresh-off-the-market prosthetic arm in exchange for studying his genetic mutation. He jumped at the chance, undergoing several blood tests and other such exams in order to be fitted with a replacement for what he'd lost. He presented the idea of moving to the desert with Shawn two months after that, and he decided to open a restaurant there.

Roger moved in with the office lady two states away, desperate to get away from every painful memory that came attached to that dreadful place. She helped him get back on his feet, and in exchange, he cooked and cleaned for her. As soon as he was able, he headed for rehab, attending three times a week. She was fully supportive of his decision. Every day he beat himself up over how he'd treated Ben in prison, yet it only made him more resolute to recover.

Obasanjo was reunited with his girlfriend, Alicia, and the two of them abandoned everything to move to Hawaii. Once there, she became a doctor and he became a coach, and the two of them enjoyed the peaceful ocean view from their porch, away from all their worries, at the end of each day. He kept a postcard ready for Astrid for the moment in which he found her whereabouts. He had a lot to thank her for.

As for Hullahaz, he'd gone straight home to his sister. It was there he found out she had recovered, and was now able to speak and react to her surroundings, as shown by how she screamed and ran into his arms the moment she saw him. She cupped his face and kissed him all over, asking him where he'd been. He discovered his family had never told her he'd gone to jail for fear it would make everything worse. "I got your letter," she cried, "but it had no return address! And now you're here..."

Unfortunately, he'd told her he couldn't stay for long, but that seeing her was enough for him to find the strength to keep going. Even after losing two lovers and a family, knowing Evita could speak again was enough for him to move on. She didn't even make a fuss about his lack of an eye, or how different he looked.

Maybe one day he'd be able to afford a replacement.

Garcia recovered from his injuries in little time, but the emotional blow he'd taken lasted with him afterwards strongly, and he found himself subconsciously dating men who reminded him of Orozco. Of course, whenever his boyfriend would try to deepen the relationship, he would break things off, feeling guilty and heartbroken over how things went with the man he _really_ loved. This pain consumed him, and as the years went by, he would slowly succumb to it.

Shawn, of course, was with Fury. During all their time together, he stuck by him, caring for him, especially when Fury worked himself so hard he couldn't even take care of himself. Opening a restaurant in the desert with him was one of the happiest moments he'd ever shared with the man, but he knew there were only more to come as his feelings for him deepened.

Finally, Ben moved in with his aunt, working in her bakery as a way to make up for the fact he was living with her. She didn't care if it was repayment or not; she was more than thrilled to have her beloved nephew safe and sound with her, away from the horrors of prison and her wretched brother.

Ben never stopped missing his old cellmates though. Some nights he would cry himself to sleep, hugging his pillow and staring over at the painting he had done all that time ago. Although the paint had cracked and the paper was worn, Stacy had lovingly framed it for him so it would stay looking nice and avoid further damage.

Occasionally, he would draw pictures of the men he missed, but he was never able to finish them without breaking down and crying, so eventually he drew less and less.

And he could never forget the memory of watching Zeke collapsing during the riot as he ran. It was a memory that haunted him even in sleep.


	18. The End..?

Fate would so have it so that Zeke was constantly on the run. His sister and her husband had offered him some starting money, but he was constantly afraid of his past catching up to him.

He found himself changing cities, counties, and even states every so often. And now, four months after his great escape, still with his missing eye sewn up (he was waiting for news on a replacement), he found himself in an unfamiliar city full of unfamiliar people, and a craving for doughnuts.

Fortunately, he'd been able to find a bakery not too far from the bus stop, and he'd counted his money to see if he could afford to splurge on something like that. Scratching his head, he sighed and headed inside.

Ben was cleaning the display case beside the register when he heard the small bell ring at a customer entering the shop. Although he initially paid the guest no heed and sprayed the glass with cleaner, when he wiped it away and saw who it was standing on the other side, he dropped the bottle and rag, collapsing to his knees as his face paled.

He had no words. It was like looking at a ghost.

His head was spinning and he couldn't see straight. It took every ounce of strength to push him off the floor, and when he leaned on the counter, he steadied himself with one hand while the other was clasped to his mouth.

_"Zeke!?"_

Zeke had been looking at the baked goods on display, suddenly feeling a craving for more than just doughnuts. If he could eat all of this, he would... He could only remember that night back in prison, with the family he'd lost, as they ate all those cookies from the tin Ben's aunt had...

Ben.

He closed his remaining eye and breathed hard. He'd never stopped thinking about the boy, about all the pain he'd gone through with him, but all the love as well. He swore he'd heard him call out as he collapsed, but surely it was just a delusion from the pain...

Hearing his name snapped him out of his memories and sent him right into confusion, turning to see who on Earth could recognize him so far away from home.

Who he saw made him gasp. He froze in place, panic and the desire to flee squeezing his chest more tightly than they ever had before. He tried to move, tried to run far away, or to dart forwards, but he could do nothing but stare and pretend he wasn't feeling anything.

It had worked in prison, right?

Tears began to stream down Ben's cheeks as he stared in disbelief at the man he though he'd lost all those months ago. He didn't move towards him, still paralyzed in shock.

"Y....you're alive?" His breathing shook, a million feelings and thoughts resurfacing the longer he looked at him.

Zeke couldn't do anything except nod stiffly, even that causing too much effort. Had Ben thought he'd died? Had they all thought he'd died? Seeing Ben cry was making him feel strong emotions- guilt, compassion, fear, regret...

"You... Are too." He didn't know what he'd expected, but he knew whatever had happened after they'd left had been out of his control. Yet he'd done what he swore to do- he'd protected Ben until the end.

Slowly making his way around the counter, Ben pulled off his apron and placed it aside, his whole body shaking as he looked into Zeke's one eye.

"S-so that's what happened... you lost..." It suddenly seemed rude to point out, and he looked down, holding his hand to his chest while the other continued to support him against the counter.

"I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry for what?"

He quickly realized how badly that had come out, and, fearing Ben was going to think he was expecting some sort of apology, he shook his head slowly instead, bringing a hand to his face.

"It's fine. Small price to pay for..."

He gestured towards Ben, not really moving towards him or away from him. He was petrified, but speaking was helping. It was getting his gears back in motion.

Realizing what Zeke meant by it, he smiled a bit, looking back up at him with misty eyes.

"I've missed you so much... not a day went by that I didn't think of you..." His eyes fogged up as he got lost in his thoughts, his smile mutating into a failing attempt to hold tears back, and he coughed as they flowed freely.

"You... Missed me," he echoed, not entirely sure he was hearing Ben correctly. What had happened to the others? To his new family? What had happened to all the resentment he'd felt for Zeke?

It began to dawn on him that maybe hearing his name before he collapsed hadn't been a hallucination.

Taking a tentative step forward, he put an arm out slowly, but retracted it. He didn't know if Ben wanted him near just yet.

"After all that, huh..."

Ben saw him reach out an arm and pull it back, giving him all the indication he felt he needed for it to be okay to reach out and touch Zeke's chest.

"You really _are_ here..."

Sniffling, he stepped closer, now less than a foot away from him.

"Can you forgive me for how I acted?" Ben wasn't even sure if saying those words was such a good idea, but it was the first thing to re-enter his mind when Zeke mentioned the past issues they'd had.

_I may look dead, but I ain't no ghost_ , he wanted to say, but he was afraid of sounding to jokey, too jovial. Instead, he simply nodded again, holding a hand out to keep Ben's in place.

When he spoke of what they'd been through, Zeke felt cold fear grip at him again. Initially, their issues had all been on his end. He'd been unable to infer on Ben's happiness, unable to speak about his own insecurities, and he'd kept wishing for everything to get better on its own. But each time he saw Ben retreat from him, the wounds seemed to open more.

No matter how many tears he'd shed, he hadn't really been able to recover, so he wasn't sure what to say at first. Yet being away from Ben had made him realize that resenting him would only drag him down, and that he was much happier thinking of Ben as a positive influence on him- which he had been.

"I..." He took a deep breath and closed his eye. "Yeah. I mean- I never wanted to hurt you, but I guess I did, so it's not like I'm a martyr..."

Ben shook his head, snorting a bit. "Zeke, anything that _you_ did I've long since forgiven and forgotten. But... there are nights I lie awake and regret all the times I never just _talked_ to you about things." Moving closer, he gripped the other man with his fingers.

"I should have been more open... I shouldn't have bottled in my fear of losing you to..." He refused to say Orozco's name.

"I made a _lot_ of mistakes." Ben looked up into Zeke's eyes, breath shaking. "And more than anything, I'm sorry I hurt you."

Zeke debated telling Ben about the time he'd wished harm upon him, but he figured that months of putting him in front of his own feelings was atonement enough. Still, he refused not to apologize one last time. "The way I treated you 'fore I let my walls down, though... I'm sorry for that too."

He was feeling a familiar heat pool in his eye, but he soon remembered Ben had never seen him cry, so he held his feelings in.

"I really wish you'd spoken to me, though. I really fuckin' wish I'd known. I wish I'd known back then how much you really cared," he whispered, bringing a hand to rub at his own face as he admitted things he never thought he'd say to anyone _but_ Orozco. In truth, it was like they'd all lost Zeke to him, but he didn't regret that.

Ben sighed, exasperated with remembering how poor his own choices in the past were.

"I know... and I'm so sorry for it..." Clearing his throat a bit, he stood up a bit straighter.

"But I can't change what I did then. I can only try to do better now." His lips were quivering as he prepared to speak again.

"I-if you would let me."

Slowly, Zeke moved his hand down from his own face and brought it to Ben's. He stroked the cheek of the man he'd given his eye for slowly, wanting to become reacquainted with his face, even if he wasn't sure Ben felt like that about him anymore.

He probably didn't, but Zeke couldn't blame him. Sighing gently, he closed his eye again.

"I never thought I'd see you again...  I got no place to really stay. No one'll hire someone like me. And I can't suddenly impose upon you, but if you wanted to just spend a lil time with me, I'm sure..." He sighed again. "I'm sure it'll be enough to put the shit in my chest at ease."

Eye opening nervously, he felt his heart hammer against his ribcage. "Cause, see, I... Well. I never stopped."

Looking down to the floor, he let his fingers trail down Ben's face as he slowly let his hand fall to his side.

"Lovin' you, I mean."

Ben gasped, throwing his arms around Zeke as a whole new wave of tears overflowed from him.

He held him more tightly than he ever thought he could. The words he never thought he'd ever hear again, from a man he thought he'd never see again... he could almost call it a miracle.

_Roger was right... there really must be angels looking out for me._

Breathing raggedly into his chest, he almost couldn't whisper out the words through his crying.

_"I never stopped loving you too...."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone!! Hope you enjoyed it!


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